Alone Together
by MarigoldMusings
Summary: The sequel to my story A Perfect Surprise! Positive, sweet family stuff. Occasional angst but mostly Tuckson fabulousness. This one is over but a sequel is coming soon!
1. Chapter 1

**Reunion**

"Hey guys, what do you wanna drink tonight?" Josh the waiter smiled broadly, glad to see Ed who always tipped well and was never bothered by the pub's sometimes slow kitchen.

"I'll have a Harp," Ed answered and then tried to get Noah's attention. His face was pressed against the probably very germy window pane staring at the falling snow. Manhattan had certainly had its share of winter weather and both Ed and Olivia were looking forward to their delayed honeymoon and to New York spring.

Josh leaned his own head against the window. "Nasty weather out there, right Noah?"

"Nasty," Noah repeated.

"Do you want ginger ale?" Noah nodded vigorously, and Josh eyed Ed who silently okayed the beverage. Soda was a surreptitious Daddy-Noah treat and Josh knew to bring it in a small take-out coffee cup with a lid. Noah's delight was two-fold. He got to drink from a grown-up cup and also enjoy the otherwise forbidden drink.

Ed and Noah were seated at a very small booth nestled between the entryway and the wall of the wood-paneled pub. Theirs was the only booth of this type and it was coveted because of the window which overlooked West 55th Street.

It was common for the three of them to eat dinner there at least once a week. Even though it was a bar, the ambiance was laid back, it wasn't dingy, and they offered an extensive children's menu. Noah's favorite was the grilled cheese which Ed ordered along with his burger when Josh returned with the drinks.

"Hey, bud, come and sit down. Tell me about school."

Before sitting on the booster seat which Ed sometimes forgot to request, Noah picked up his cup, grinned, and said, "Cheers, Daddy!"

"Cheers, No!" Ed took a sip. "So, what did you do at school today?" Since he turned three, Noah's day care now sent him to their preschool in the mornings. The teachers reported that he'd initially cried and fussed at the change, but now he came home bursting with excitement.

"We did colors then letters then numbers."

 _He knows all that._

"That's all?"

"Benjamin got in trouble."

Ed smiled. This was his favorite part. Noah was very well-behaved and most of his school stories detailed the circumstances around other kids getting in trouble. "Really?"

"Yes. I was on green. Benjamin was on red." The students were evaluated daily on a stop light color coded scale.

"You stay on green."

"Ok, Daddy." Noah was only partially paying attention to Ed. Josh brought crayons and a blank placemat and he was coloring away.

"Whatcha drawing?"

"Mommy."

Ed felt bad for Noah and for himself. Olivia and the squad had been working almost nonstop on the subway assault cases. They had detained people, but made no significant arrests and city residents were quickly becoming uneasy and outwardly critical of the police department. Politicians and the media incessantly hounded SVU as the incidents escalated both in violence and in frequency. Olivia knew it was only a matter of time before the perp made a mistake and was caught, but she was under immense pressure to make an arrest and solve the case. Consequently, she spent only a few hours a night at home, most of it while Noah was sleeping and she was so exhausted that Ed was lucky to get a kiss out of her before she conked out each night.

"You know where Mommy is, right?"

Noah continued to draw. "Police."

"Yep. Police. She's good at being police."

"Daddy not at police."

"Nope, you're right."

"Why?"

Ed reached over and tipped Noah's chin up with his index finger so he could look him in the eye. "Mommy gets bad guys who work at night sometimes."

"Daddy get bad guys, too."

"Yep, but I can get them during the day."

Noah went back to work. "I draw Mommy's badge now."

"Ok, bud, good idea. You draw her badge. Then we'll eat and we'll take her some food. And you can give her your picture." At the thought of seeing his mother, Noah dropped the crayon and took another long swig of his soda.

"Yeah," Ed muttered with his familiar smirk, "we need to finish that before we go anywhere."

….

Olivia shuttled back and forth between interview rooms. Carisi and Fin were sweating one perp pretty hard and in the other room his accomplice sat by himself looking forlorn. He refused to speak.

"Maybe it's not him?" Rollins suggested.

The nature of the case had baffled everyone, including Olivia. She gave Rollins a helpless look, "I don't know. These cases…no DNA, they have hoodies on, the only description we have is skinny, Hispanic or white, and they somehow manage to avoid direct camera angles. But," she gestured towards one room, "We do have one Hispanic guy and one white guy."

"Could be a coincidence. We need to look at MTA employees. Drivers. Maintenance." Rollins ticked off possibilities.

Olivia sighed, "You're right, but without a more specific description, we're talking about thousands of people. She nodded towards the one-way window, "Maybe Carisi and Fin will get something out of him."

"How'd they get picked up?"

"Serial purse snatchers, pocket pickers, and general tourist predators…at Union Square, Grand Central, and Times Square," Olivia replied, "They must know something."

"What'd they pick _him_ up on?"

"Loitering. But he apparently has a pesky heroin habit, so we're holding him on possession at the moment. The other guy ran, so he got to come along."

Rollins looked at Olivia admiringly. "Little fish for the big fish, right?"

"We'll see. If we get a call about another one, having them here won't do any good."

"You want me to take a run—"

"MAMAMAMAMAMA!"

Noah sprinted from the elevator and into Olivia's office. Tucker trailed him, Styrofoam container in hand.

Olivia hugged and kissed Noah and bounced him around, "Hi my sweet boy! I miss you so much. I'm so sorry mommy's had to be away lately."

Noah played with her necklace. "We bringed you dinner." They would have brought the picture, too, but it didn't survive the greasy fries and ketchup.

Just then, Carisi stormed out of the interview room, "Lieu, I-." He wasn't expecting Noah and Tucker, "Oh, sorry, uh…"

"What is it?" Olivia asked.

Carisi looked hesitant.

"What?" Olivia asked again.

"He's not the guy. He's playing us. Wants to skate on the drugs."

"Then send him to booking." Olivia's gaze at Noah in no way reflected the gravity of the situation, "and he can spend the night in the tombs. And we move on unless he changes his mind." Olivia continued to talk to Noah, "You brought me dinner? That is _so_ nice!"

"Cheeseburger and French fries, mommy."

Ed put the container on her desk, "Actually, it's the French dip you like. Hey Rollins."

"Hello, Captain."

Carisi returned and immediately moved to shake Ed's hand, "Captain Tucker, how are ya?"

"Great." Ed peered in as a uniformed officer cuffed the man and led him out. "Do I even want to ask how you are?"

Carisi blew out a frustrated burst of air, "I'll be better when we catch this guy. Maybe," He rustled Noah's hair, "Maybe we need your help, Noah."

"I have a badge. I police, too."

Fin joined them. "Liv, you want me to take a run at the other guy?" He glanced at Tucker, "Hey, Captain."

Ed greeted him silently.

Olivia kissed Noah again and put him down. "Go ahead. And make sure he knows his buddy is a guest of the city tonight."

Fin left and Rollins trailed him to listen in.

"Well, Lieutenant," Carisi said, "I'll get back to work and let you eat." He shook Ed's hand again, "See you later Captain. Bye, Noah. Next time, bring your badge so you can help us out."

Noah, who busied himself by rolling a toy NYPD police cruiser along the couch cushions, replied with a distracted "ok" and Sonny left.

Ed spun around, assessing exactly how alone they were. He had that mischievous look in his eyes and Olivia, reading his mind, redirected him. "Thank you for the food. Hopefully we'll call it a night soon."

Ed was slightly pouty. "Yeah, well, we should go so you can get back to work."

"I'll keep you posted."

Ed glanced behind him. Carisi was at his desk intently focusing on his laptop. Ed stepped towards Olivia, backing her up against the desk, and grabbed her hand. "Try not to be too late."

Olivia gazed at him sympathetically, "I miss you, too."

"Kiss?"

She leaned to the side, and, seeing that the others were sufficiently distracted or out of sight, she pulled him to her and then had to playfully push him away. " _Captain_."

Ed's eyes were still closed and his lips were pursed as if he expected her to continue kissing him. "Hmmm?"

"We'll have to revisit this later."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

He played with her rings, "I want my _wife_."

"And she wants you…so…you go, I'll work, and I'll get home as soon as possible."

He smiled at her. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

….

Olivia lowered her voice as she entered the apartment. It was well past midnight, but the new deputy commissioner required hourly updates. The protracted second interrogation caused her to miss the past two hours' worth of briefings, so this particular call lasted her entire commute home and then some. Ed had been attempting to sleep, but upon hearing her voice he turned on a lamp and sat up expectantly.

"We have increased uni and UC presence at his peak times. We've charted the attacks, his favorite stations. It's been quiet tonight. The second guy could be him, but he said very little. He's in holding for the rest of the night and we're working with TARU to enhance all footage we have from confirmed attacks. We'll get him."

Tucker heard the muffled reply as Olivia walked into the bedroom, her purse and briefcase still hanging from her shoulder and her coat still on. She screwed up her face to express disgust at the phone and then gently bent down and kissed Ed. While the deputy commissioner continued his lecture, she let her bags drop to the floor, slid out of her coat, and tossed it on the chair. It lingered on the armrest for a second before it, too, fell to the floor. Olivia didn't bother picking it up. She collapsed on the bed.

"We're on that. No…no…I don't think a press conference is a good idea at this point. We don't have anything to report. If you're worried about _image,_ let's hold off until we have something, well, better than a heroin addict and a mute. If we're lucky, we got him…if the assaults stop—"

The deputy commissioner must have interrupted her. The annoyed look returned to her face.

While she listened, Ed slowly undressed her. He removed her boots, peeled off the stockings, then unbuttoned and unzipped her pants and tossed them in the pile with everything else. He ran the back of his hand over her panties and grinned as he noticed her biting her lip.

Her blouse had to go over her head, so he lifted her into a seating position and slid each arm through the sleeve.

"If you insist on a presser, what exactly would you like me to say?"

Ed could hear the frustration in her voice and he laid her back down and began planting kisses just below her bra, checking her eyes after each one to make sure her frustration was not with _him_.

When the call ended, Olivia threw her arms back over her head and released the phone.

" _Finally_ ," Ed whispered.

"Sorry it took so long. For that and for me to get home."

Ed was still methodically kissing her lower body, inspecting every inch of her, trying to memorize it, "I understand."

"And I don't want to talk about it."

"Good. Me neither."

"Except I hate the new deputy commissioner about as much as I hated the old one."

"Me too."

"You do?"

"If you hate him I hate him."

Olivia laughed. _I got it._ _Enough talking_. "Come here," she commanded.

Ed kissed his way back up her body until he got to her face and said softly, "You're home."

"I'm home."

…

Olivia was still in her sweats when Ed kissed her and Noah goodbye. She caressed his face and tried to figure out how exactly he managed to look so fresh and alert on so little sleep.

"Lucy coming?"

"Yeah, at ten."

"Get 'em today."

Olivia shot him a good-natured eye-roll since his pep talk was one part supportive and one part selfish, but she, too, was growing weary of the dogged pursuit of this low-tier criminal who operated in the shadows. "Let's hope so."

Just as Ed was about to open the door and leave, Olivia remembered the call she'd fielded last night before the one from the deputy commissioner. "Oh, Ed, hang on."

"Yeah?"

"Remember Casey Novak?"

"Yeah, sure, the ADA. Why didn't she come to the wedding?"

"She was out of the country but now she's in town and wants to have lunch today, so, if I can sneak away, I'm going to do that."

"Ok. See you later."

For some reason Olivia expected him to object or frown or otherwise show some disapproval, but the news that his wife was meeting someone from the time in her life when Ed was the enemy did not seem to faze him. He gave her his little smirk and disappeared behind the door.

…

The squad thought they had their man. The subway assaults had been happening almost nightly, and the late night and early morning passed with no complaints.

"Could be a coincidence, though," Benson remarked, "We're keeping the extra patrol on."

"Ten-four, Lieu. You're right. One night means nothing."

Fin agreed with Carisi, but Rollins objected. "I think we got him. I had that feeling when we questioned him yesterday."

Fin shot her a sideways glance, "He barely spoke three words. How'd you get a _feeling_?"

"Detective's intuition."

Carisi nudged her and said under his breath, "Soon to be _sergeant's_ intuition?"

Fin heard the question and raised his eyebrows. "You takin' the exam, Amanda?"

Rollins looked at Olivia, silently seeking approval to confirm to the rest of the squad that she was, indeed, registered for the exam. "I am," she said hesitantly, "Next week. I've been studying my ass off. Luckily Carisi's been keeping up with Jesse."

Fin smiled and wished her a sincere good luck.

"Let's just hope One PP keeps her here," Olivia said.

"You've got pull," Carisi said brightly.

"Right." Olivia checked the time. "Hey, guys, I'm going to lunch. Keep me in the loop. I'll be back in an hour."

….

Casey shoved a large silver and white box into Olivia's arms, so it was impossible for the two of them to embrace right away. Benson juggled the box and tried to hold it with just one arm, but its width required a two-handed grip. Casey giggled, told her to be careful, that it was breakable, and then pulled out a third chair.

"Here, put it down," she instructed, giggling.

"Thanks, Casey." Olivia hugged her and they took their seats, "You look great!"

Casey smiled. Her hair had grown out and it fell in soft waves past her shoulders. A rosy glow flooded her cheeks and she wore smart-looking tortoise shell glasses. "Thank you. The post-DA life is good." After her stint in New York, Novak decided she needed a break from the courtroom and moved to Boston to teach law at her alma mater. She and Olivia promised to stay in touch, but as often happens, the distance between them obstructed regular communication.

"I'm glad. We do miss you though."

"I never met Barba, but I've heard good things about him."

Olivia smiled when she thought about her no-nonsense friend and colleague, "He sure worked out well. He got off to a rough start and we've hit some bumps along the way, but all is good now."

"It's not always easy working with you guys," Casey teased then quickly shifted subjects, "So, _Tucker_?"

Olivia played with her rings. Casey certainly wasn't the first person to say Ed's name in that disbelieving, almost accusatory tone. No matter which person from Olivia's past was speaking, the _Tucker_ was always paired with a furrowed brow and squinty eyes.

Olivia let out a sigh tinged with a hint of annoyance, "Yes. Tucker."

Casey leaned forward on her forearms, "Details, please. When I got that invitation I almost passed out from shock."

"Things…changed," Olivia replied.

Not satisfied with such a vague response, Casey probed for more information, "Obviously things changed. When I left you were single like the rest of us with a neglected apartment and leftover takeout in the fridge and now you're married with a kid!"

"The kid came first."

Casey knew all about Noah. During the adoption process Novak was Olivia's go-to confidante, especially when she grew frustrated with the tedious mountains of paperwork and the dilatory nature of the family court system. "I need to see Noah at some point while I'm here. But… _Tucker_? When exactly did _that_ happen?"

Olivia let down her guard and walked Casey through the initial stages of their relationship beginning with IAB trying to give her a more plausible way out of the Lewis investigation. "I was in a very dark, scary place," Olivia recalled with downcast eyes, "And I got into the habit of stopping for drinks before going home…avoiding the empty apartment. One time I was sitting at the bar and looked over, and there he was. By himself. After that we occasionally _accidentally_ bumped into each other a few more times. But then Noah came along and I got it together, stopped going out so much. I was glad he was softening up, he was easier to work with, but I didn't think anything was _happening_ until about a year ago."

Casey was now fully tuned to gossip girl mode. "Get to the good stuff, Liv."

"Amaro, my partner before the promotion, his father got him into a mess last January. Tucker sent me a text, told me where he'd be after work if I wanted to talk about the case, me being Nick's CO and all." Olivia fondly recalled how Tucker quickly pivoted from business that night and offered to buy her a drink. Then she told Casey how he'd nervously kissed her on the sidewalk before they parted ways. "And, so, here we are," She concluded, holding up her left hand.

"Did you _sleep_ with him?"

"Eventually," Olivia bantered.

Casey frowned at the sass, "Were you, like, freaking out?"

"At first, yes."

"And he just stepped in and became…a _Dad_?"

"He already was a Dad. Noah loved him immediately."

"He has kids?"

"Two daughters. In their twenties."

Incredulity still lingered on Casey's face. "I don't think many married couples can say one spouse _arrested_ the other."

"We did have to have some, uh, tough conversations about…all that."

"What'd he say?"

Olivia breezily told Casey how she and Ed hashed out a few specific IAB-SVU clashes which all boiled down to one conclusion—Tucker was relentlessly doing his job, and his job was intensely reviled. He wore the mantle of ruthless villain well and most people assumed the role defined his entire personality.

"I really need to see this."

"See what?" Olivia asked even though she knew what Casey meant.

Casey opened her arms wide and drew a huge circle in the air. "Your whole _family_ thing you have going on."

Olivia finished her coffee, "I'll tell you what. Why don't you come over tomorrow afternoon for a drink? It's Saturday. Ed will be home and you can see Noah. And the wedding pictures."

"It's a date."

Olivia checked her watch. "I hate to run out of here, but I have to get back to the precinct. If we don't catch this subway guy, the city's going to break into open rebellion."

Casey smiled knowingly, "I don't envy you. Good luck."

…

Benson left the squad in Rollins' care for the weekend, instructing her to call if something urgent developed. The subway assailant had either taken a hiatus or was actually one of the men they captured earlier in the week because no further incidents matching his MO had been reported. Olivia, Ed, and Noah ate breakfast at their usual neighborhood diner and lazed around for the rest of the morning before Olivia tidied up and Ed left to buy booze in preparation for Casey's visit. When the former District Attorney arrived later that afternoon, the apartment was spotless and Casey's favorite white wine was chilled.

Olivia sensed a familiar awkwardness as Casey and Ed shook hands.

"Good to see you again, Captain Tucker," Casey said, sounding reserved, almost like she was expecting Tucker and Benson to burst into laughter and say "Gotcha!"

"Counselor, how are ya?"

She blinked. This was not Tucker's IAB voice. It was still deep and gravelly but without the edginess and austerity to which Casey was accustomed. "Doing well. I'm enjoying being back in Boston."

"You went to school there, right?"

"Yes. Undergrad and law school."

Seeing that Ed and Casey were easing into small talk her apprehension dissipated, and Olivia went to check on Noah who had been napping but was now slowly coming out of his slumber.

"Hey sweet boy," she cooed, "There's someone here who wants to meet you."

"Bwrookey?"

"No, silly, you know Brookey. It's Casey."

"Who's Casey?"

"She's my friend." Olivia ran her fingers through Noah's hair. After making a stop in the bathroom she walked him into the living room. Casey had a huge smile on her face.

"Hi Noah!"

Noah ran over to Ed, climbed into his lap, and shyly buried his head into his daddy's chest.

"Can you say hi to Casey, bud?"

Noah spoke into Ed's shirt, "Hi Casey."

"She can't hear you like that."

Noah turned ever so slightly and repeated the greeting.

"He'll warm up," Olivia assured Casey as she handed her some wine.

"Of course he will," Casey replied warmly, "When do I get to see the wedding pictures?"

Ed reached for the large binder and passed it across the coffee table to Casey, squishing Noah a bit as he leaned forward. "Here ya go."

Casey gushed over the photos.

 _Liv you're gorgeous._

 _The dress is perfect._

 _Oh, Noah, you look so handsome. You and Daddy are twins!_

 _Oh, wow, Elliot was there. He hasn't aged at all!_

When she flipped through the pictures of Ed and Olivia right after Judge Linden said "you may kiss the bride," she stared in astonishment. The photographer zoomed his lens and caught the moment when Ed held her face in his hands, the kiss, and the second he began pulling away. The adoration in Ed's eyes was just as foreign to Casey as his milder non-IAB tone of voice had been, but she finally understood. There was no question. Tucker was madly in love with Olivia.

The more Casey commented, the more interested Noah became. He slid off the couch and stood next to Casey, straining to see each photo. "You want to come up here with me?" She asked and lifted him into her lap. When she came to the one with the entire family, Casey pointed to people and asked Noah to name them.

"That's mommy."

"That's Daddy."

"That's Jeff."

When she got to Sarah and Brooke, Noah said their names and added, "Sawrah and Brwookey are my _sisters_."

Casey, touched, gave Noah a squeeze.

Olivia grinned at them. "You love Sarah and Brookey, don't you Noah?"

"Oh, yes!" He roared back.

Olivia told Casey all about Sarah and Brooke, emphasizing how lucky they were that Brooke lived nearby and was always willing to help out with Noah.

Noah added enthusiastically, "Brwookey buys me pizza! Sawrah buyed me Thomas trains."

"Yeah," Ed grumbled good-naturedly, "They are not averse to spoiling the heck out of him."

Casey bounced Noah up and down on her knees, "Well that's a good thing, right?"

Noah looked at her seriously, "You wanna see police badge?"

"Sure."

He ran to his bedroom and reappeared quickly with the birthday badge. Casey held it and raved about how closely it resembled an authentic shield. "And it even has your _name_ on it!"

"Ed had it made for him," Olivia said proudly.

"Wow. That's so neat!"

They passed the rest of the afternoon in similar fashion, updating one another on their lives and their future plans which, for Olivia and Ed, included apartment hunting and their delayed honeymoon. As Casey engaged in the conversation, happiness for Olivia swelled inside her as she watched the newly married couple interact both verbally and nonverbally. They sat close together and never missed a chance to touch one another. When Olivia told a story and referred to him, she grasped his forearm. Ed's subtle jokes were accompanied with playful shoulder grabs or gentle slaps. She noticed the sparkle—the one from the wedding photo—never vanished from his eyes when they were focused on her.

Olivia asked Casey to stay and have dinner with them, but she had a prior engagement.

Disappointed, Olivia asked, "When are you heading back home?"

"Tomorrow."

"So we won't see you again before you leave."

"Probably not."

To the surprise of both women, Ed gave Casey a quick hug, said goodbye, and went to check on Noah who had been in his room and suspiciously quiet for too long.

Casey hugged Olivia tightly. "Take care, Liv. And…I'm sorry if I came off a little, um, _too shocked_ about you and Ed. I couldn't be happier for you…you two are perfect together and Noah's adorable. I'm glad you all found each other."

Olivia replied sincerely. "Thanks, Casey. Me too."

After Casey hugged Noah, she bundled up to face the frigid evening air and headed to meet her dinner date. Ed and Olivia discussed their own plans.

"I'll cook," Ed offered. "Pasta?"

"Do we have any sauce?"

Ed searched the cabinets and the refrigerator. "No…but there's olive oil, lemon, garlic…I can make something up."

Olivia wrapped her arms around his waist. "Whatever you create is fine with me."

He kissed her on the forehead. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You'll tell me if it's bad?"

"No, I'll lie."

"You're too kind."

Olivia moved her hands to his chest and rubbed his pecs suggestively, "And then…maybe we can put a Noah movie on and…have some husband-wife time?"

Ed tried his best to look bashful, "Do you need me to answer that?"

"I think I know the answer."

Olivia was cocky and it only turned him on even more.

He planted a quick but passionate kiss on her lips, leaned back, and raised his eyebrows, requesting feedback.

"Mmmm. That'll do for now."

"There's more where that came from."

"Oh, I _know_."

"I'll get to work on dinner."

"Do you want help?"

"No, go relax. You've been working too hard…let me wait on you."

Almost dizzy with affection, Olivia pressed her head to his chest, breathed deeply, and murmured, "You're too good to me."

"There is no such thing as 'too good.' And you deserve it."

He held her for a few minutes longer and then started making what he was sure would be the world's best-tasting lemon-garlic angel hair pasta.


	2. Chapter 2

**Be My Valentine, Part I!**

Brooke scanned the living room for evidence. Ed would be there soon to pick up Noah, and she still hadn't mentioned her new beau to anyone other than Sarah. However, even her little sister remained in the dark about the man's identity. Brooke still felt the relationship was too casual to be revealed and she fretted about Ed's reaction.

Sarah thought her decision to withhold all of this information was ridiculous. "He's not a serial killer or a druggie, is he?" She asked earlier when they FaceTimed.

"Of course not," Brooke answered.

"Then I don't see the reason for all this secrecy."

Sarah was probably right. Brooke was creating mystery and drama, but if the relationship wasn't serious, she didn't see the need to upset everyone's normalcy. She did wish she could talk to Olivia about it, but there was no way Brooke was going to ask her to keep such an important secret from her husband.

Satisfied the room was devoid of anything incriminating, Brooke repacked Noah's bag. In went the matchbox cars, the preschool folder, his lunchbox, and the two coloring books she bought for him on their way home that afternoon. Noah looked up from the iPad. "We going bye-bye Brookey?"

"You are. Daddy's coming to get you." Brooke wet a kitchen towel and dabbed at a circle of pizza sauce on Noah's light blue long-sleeved polo. "I hope this doesn't stain. This shirt looks new."

"This _is_ a new shirt. Mommy got it for me."

"Then we might be in trouble."

Noah's eyes widened. "Go to timeout?"

"Does Daddy put you in timeout?" This was a very un-Tuckerlike punishment, besides, Brooke had trouble picturing him disciplining Noah in any way. Ed playfully criticized her and Sarah for spoiling Noah, but he was just as bad, if not worse.

She swore Noah scoffed at her for even suggesting Ed would put him in timeout. " _No_ ," he answered.

"Who puts you in timeout?"

"Mommy."

"Do your teachers put you in timeout?"

Noah appeared shocked she would even ask. "No. Peter goes to time out. And Michael, too. I'm on _green_." Noah dug his school folder out of the bag, ruining Brooke's neat packing job in the process. He took out a January calendar labeled _Behavior_ , "See?"

Sure enough, all days were filled in with green highlighter over smiley faces. Noah was officially a good citizen.

"That's so great, No. Be a good boy at school so you're not like _my_ students when you get older."

"You give kids timeout?"

"Yes, it's called detention." Noah struggled to comprehend the word, so Brooke explained further. "It's when the bad kids stay after school in a room and they have to be quiet."

Brooke watched Noah's face contort as he grasped the concept. He started to say something, but the sound of the door opening distracted him.

"Daddy!" Noah sprinted into Ed's arms. He was getting bigger and the force of the collision made Ed have to step backwards to maintain balance.

"Hey big guy! Did you have a good day?"

"Uh-huh."

Ed noticed the spot on his shirt, "I see you ate something red?"

"Pizza!"

Ed wasn't concerned. "TJ will get it out."

"Who's TJ?" Brooke asked.

"Dry cleaner."

"You're on a first name basis with the dry cleaner?"

Ed didn't see how this would surprise Brooke, "I've been going to the same place for years. Of course I am."

"Does Olivia have her own or did she switch to yours?"

"She switched to mine. She wasn't as, uh, attached to her guy."

Brooke was amused. "That's nice of her."

"Yeah, it was." Ed put Noah down and zipped the Thomas backpack. He noticed the edges around the exterior pockets were becoming frayed and made a mental note to get him a new one soon. "Listen, Brooke, I need a favor and I feel bad asking, but…"

"What is it Daddio?"

"Valentine's Day is coming up, and," He held out his hand, palm facing her, "I don't want you to think I'm assuming you have nothing to do, but I really want to take Olivia out. Can you watch Noah? We won't be late. It's a Tuesday."

Brooke had no plans yet, so she agreed to babysit. If something came up she could always suggest they wait for the weekend. Her work schedule required her to leave the apartment by six-thirty most mornings, so she usually avoided going out during the week anyway. Ed thanked her profusely. "I really appreciate it, Brooke."

"It's your first Valentine's Day as a married couple," she reasoned, "You _have_ to do something special."

"Yeah, I know. Now that I have child care, I can plan."

Brooke watched Ed help Noah with his parka and knit dinosaur cap. The hat had orange spikes across the top and was a little big so it partially covered his eyes. Ed patted the coat pockets, found his mittens, and slid them on. She imagined how Sarah, if she were here, would not be able to control her emotions and would launch into a litany of her signature _omigods_. Brooke was not as effusive with her feelings, but a lump formed in her throat as she witnessed the mundane but very tender routine.

"Tie the strings, Daddy."

Ed tied the hat strings loosely under his chin. "Ready?"

Noah hugged Brooke's leg. "Bye Brookey."

"Bye No. Love you."

"Love you, sissy."

Ed cast an inquisitive glance at Brooke. _Sissy_?

"We FaceTimed with Sarah," Brooke explained. "That's how she signed off."

Ed rolled his eyes, "I don't get how she can talk like a three-year-old and hold down a corporate job."

"You can ask her next weekend," Brooke said, "Jeff's going skiing so she's coming."

Ed forced a smile. Sarah's frequent solo trips to New York worried him; this would be her third visit since the wedding which was just five weeks ago. "Great," he muttered, "We'll all have to do something Friday or Saturday night. I forget which one Liv has off, but I'll let you know."

Noah, with Ed's assistance, shouldered his backpack and they left. On the street, Ed held his mittened hand as they walked side by side towards home. He stared straight ahead, squinting against the frigid evening air, jaw set, an air of confident aloofness about him. Noah, too, walked with as much purpose as a kid in a dinosaur hat could project. Most people they passed paid them no attention, but a few folks smiled approvingly at the smartly-dressed father-son duo strolling up Ninth Avenue. Ed pretended not to notice, but he relished the attention; he liked people to notice and, perhaps, envy the contentment and perfection in his life.

….

The room was spinning. Ed closed his eyes and took deep breaths in an attempt to slow his rapidly beating heart. The rest of his body was so relaxed he couldn't be sure his limbs were still attached. He felt only the slight pressure of Olivia's head on his stomach and an arm draped lazily across his hips. She was laying perpendicular to him, her bare legs hanging over the edge of the bed. He tried opening his eyes, expecting the dizziness to return, but the room was still. He bent his head down to check on his wife, and the sight of her tangled brown locks spread out in every direction over his midsection made him smile.

"You asleep?"

He felt her lips move against him as she mumbled, "No, but I can't move."

"Comfortable?"

"Yes."

"You don't look comfortable."

"I am, especially since I can't feel my legs."

"I can't feel mine."

Olivia brushed her hair out of her eyes. "I love you, Ed Tucker."

"I love you. And I love that you caught the guy because," Ed blew out a burst of air, "Celebratory sex with you, is…I can't describe it."

"Debilitating?"

They erupted into laughter and Ed grabbed her by the shoulders, dragging her up so her head was next to his on the pillow.

"I can't wait to see you on TV."

A press conference was scheduled for early in the morning. Benson and a gaggle of NYPD administrators were set to boast about the arrest and declare New York subways free from the latest predator.

"Then I better get some sleep. Dark circles under the eyes look worse on camera."

"People will think it's because you were up all night hunting down the perp."

Olivia touched his chin with her index finger, "And you'll watch, knowing the truth."

"Our secret," he whispered, biting at her finger.

She kissed the spot where her finger had just been and then kissed his lips. She cherished every new secret, every inside joke, every seemingly innocuous glance, the innocent touches…all of these simple, esoteric, shared moments added to and broadened the tapestry of their love. She thought about the press conference and how she would be sharply dressed in a dark suit, the lone female among the panel of men, she would give a statement, update the public, flash a satisfied smile as she verbally confirmed the arrest, but the whole time she would be thinking of Ed and of Noah and how much she couldn't wait to reunite with them at home later in the evening.

Ed's stomach growled and Olivia came out of her thoughts. When Ed and Noah returned to the apartment earlier in the night, Olivia was not yet at home. Noah had eaten, so Ed gave him a bath and got him ready for bed. They were reading a story in the rocking chair when a relieved Olivia sauntered in, kissed both of them, and announced that the case had been solved. She was free…until the next one of course. Anxious to celebrate, they tucked Noah in bed and went straight to the bedroom, not giving one thought about their missed meal.

"You're hungry."

"I'll be fine."

"I'll make you something."

"No," Ed replied firmly, "Stay here. It's late. Let's just sleep."

Olivia ignored him. She grabbed one of Ed's white t-shirts and slid it over her head. "Come on. I want to eat."

Ed put on a pair of boxers and went shirtless into the kitchen where Olivia had just finished heating leftover lo mein. She twirled the noodles on a fork and offered Ed a bite.

"Thank you."

"Here," she stabbed her fork deep into the container and gave him another bite, "shrimp."

They finished the food standing together in the kitchen, using the one fork to trade bites from the lone container. Ed teased her, holding up the fork then pulling it away as she opened her mouth.

"Kiss."

She grabbed his wrist and gently pried the fork away from him. Some lo mein dropped to the counter as she tossed the fork in the sink, but she didn't care. If Ed wanted a kiss, he was getting one. A good one. She tightened her grip on his wrist and grabbed his neck with her other hand. She met his lips with such force that Ed stepped backwards into the corner, knocking the fruit bowl into a wine bottle, and they paused for a second, listening for Noah. Hearing nothing, they resumed the kiss. Ed switched their positions and his muscles bulged as he lifted her a little for a better angle. The feel of her nails digging into his back validated his effort, and she reacted with soft moans as he covered her neck with sloppy kisses. She tilted her head back, giving him more space to explore with his mouth and tongue. He bit at her gently, adjusted his grip on her, asked if she was ok, if he was hurting her, after all, she was partially propped against the cabinet handles.

"Don't stop," she hissed.

"Whatever you say, Lieutenant."

….

Sarah held Noah on her shoulders and the little boy craned his neck and looked back and forth from the dinosaur's head to its tail. They had planned to spend part of Saturday afternoon ice skating, but the subzero temperatures warranted a change of plans. As Noah's Thomas obsession waned, he became more and more interested in dinosaurs, so Brooke suggested they visit the Museum of Natural History's exhibit. Ed was not a fan of museums, especially not natural history ones, but rejecting the idea was not an option.

As soon as Brooke mentioned it, Noah marched around, chanting, "Din-o-saurs. Din-o-saurs. Din-o-saurs." He smiled broadly at Ed, "We see the T-Rex, Daddy!" And then he let out a loud roar before Sarah picked him up, flipped him upside down, and blew strawberries on his belly.

"I'll tell Olivia where we are and hopefully she'll either meet us there or meet us for lunch after." Ed sent a text to his wife who was scheduled to hand off the reins to Fin around noon.

Now, the four of them stood in the main exhibit, impressed at the size of the dinosaur skeleton. Sarah put Noah down and snapped pictures of him juxtaposed against the prehistoric creature, and then she organized different combinations for more pictures—Ed and Noah, Ed, Brooke, and Noah, then the four of them together, a selfie, and then a better one taken by a stranger.

"Where is Livvie?" Sarah whined. She texted Olivia and became impatient when she didn't immediately respond.

"She left the precinct an hour ago," Ed reported. "She's gonna go home and change and meet us at Brickyard for lunch."

They took Noah to a few more displays—elephants, gorillas, more dinosaurs, and a rhinoceros—then they stopped in one of the several gift shops. Noah came out of the museum the proud owner of a plush stegosaurus, a dinosaur skull excavation kit, and, as luck would have it, a new red and black backpack featuring a smiling Tyrannosaurus Rex. He skipped a few feet ahead of the group on the way to lunch, the bag bobbing on his back, and a broad grin on his face.

….

Olivia, clad in jeans and a sweater, waited for her family at the bar. She nursed a Jameson's and flipped through her phone absent-mindedly when she suddenly remembered Sarah's earlier text. "Crap," she muttered under her breath. Sarah took oversights like this personally.

 _Hey, Sare, sorry I missed this, I'm here now waiting for you guys_. Olivia was not a regular emoji user, but she included a few hearts for placation purposes.

Sarah replied that they were only a few blocks away, including three full lines of exclamation points. Olivia smiled at the phone, paid the bartender in cash, and moved to one of the only booths in the pub. She wasn't comfortable sitting Noah at the high top tables. Just as she sat down, Ed and the kids appeared in the window. Sarah held Noah up to the window and he pounded on the glass. A dull thud reverberated throughout the near-empty space. She could faintly hear him shout "Mama!"

Per her usual, Sarah nearly strangled Olivia with her hug. "Livvie, I _missed_ you!"

 _We just saw you two weeks ago._

"We missed you, too, Sare," Olivia croaked. Sarah's arms were still tightly wrapped around her neck.

Brooke tugged at the hem of Sarah's pea coat. "Sis, sit _down_. Drink. Let Olivia breathe."

Sarah took her spot next to Brooke, across from Olivia and Ed. Noah was still standing, pulling his new items from the backpack to show them to his mother. "See, mommy? I got this bag, dinosaur head, and, THIS! The, the, st—" Noah looked to the adults.

Ed helped him out, "Steg-o-saur-us."

"Stegassurus!"

Olivia picked him up and cuddled him in her lap. "Did you say thank you?"

"Yes."

She looked up.

Brooke confirmed, "He's very polite."

"Yes, Noey," Sarah cooed, "you're _soooo_ polite, that's why I _looove_ you, cutie patootie. You wanna come to Philly and stay with me?"

Ed lightly kicked Olivia.

 _Why didn't she mention Jeff?_

The drinks arrived and Brooke held up her glass. "Cheers, guys."

"Cheers!"

 _Clink!_

The investigator in Ed could not bury his suspicions about his daughter's marriage. "So, where's Jeff skiing?"

"Somewhere in Vermont."

"You don't know where?"

"Near Burlington I think."

"Why didn't you go?"

Now it was Olivia's turn to kick Ed.

 _Dial it down a little, buddy._

Sarah was unfazed, "We're going away next weekend for an early Valentine's get away and he went with all his friends. No wives or girlfriends."

"Where are you going?" Brooke asked.

"Some little bed and breakfast in the Poconos."

"Oooh," Olivia cooed, "Sounds romantic."

Sarah brightened, "Hey, why don't you and Dad come too?"

Ed looked mortified and uttered a curt, "No."

"Oh, _come_ on, Daddy, it's both of our first Valentine's Days being _married_."

Ed was quick to reply. "Which is why I want to spend it with my wife. _Alone_."

Sarah was indignant, "Now what are you gonna do that could possibly be more romantic than a weekend in the Poconos?"

Ed fired a warning glance in his daughters' direction. _Stop asking questions_. "I'll figure something out," he said.

Conceding defeat, Sarah turned her attention to Brooke. "And what are _you_ doing, Brookey?" Mischief danced in her blue eyes and she twirled a section of her wavy blonde hair around and around her index finger, feigning intense curiosity as she stared at her older sister.

Brooke wasn't sure whether or not her Dad's plans were secretive, so she played it safe, "Probably watching my show and going to bed early. Some of us have jobs where we have to report before ten a.m."

"No date?"

Brooke glared at Sarah. "Not that I'm aware of." _Oh, and shut up._

Sarah gulped the rest of her gin and tonic and poked Brooke's shoulder. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this," she hissed. Ed and Olivia were distracted by Noah and Sarah mouthed, "Who is he?"

Brooke ignored her and flagged down the waiter. "I'll buy us another round."

….

Tuesday, February 14 rolled around during a balmy break in what had been a brutally cold New York winter. Most of the snow had melted and it was so warm that Ed pulled Noah's bike from the front closet so Lucy could take him out after she picked him up from day care.

Olivia dressed Noah in a red oxford and jeans. "You look so grown up, sweet boy!"

"Got my red shirt on. For Valentine's!"

"Yes you do. And we're going to bring the cupcakes and the cards for your teachers. Let's not forget them."

"Ok, mommy. Cupcakes are pink."

"Yes, they have pink frosting."

"And sprinkles!"

Olivia combed his hair to the side. She was tempted to put product in it like he wore for the wedding, but decided against it. "Ok, Noah. Time to go."

Ed was waiting for them in the living room. Noah ran to him with his arms out, acting like he was flying. "Daddy, look, I have my red shirt!"

"Yeah, bud, you look great."

"You have red tie today! For Valentine's?"

"Yep. Does Mommy have red on?"

Olivia swayed in just as Ed asked the question. "Yes she does."

He and Noah simultaneously turned and gaped at the woman in their lives. There was nothing shockingly abnormal about Olivia's appearance, but she dazzled in her red blouse and fresh makeup. She styled her hair in the sexy waves Ed favored most of all her hairstyles. He knew it took her longer to do her hair this way, he appreciated the effort, and told her so.

"I want to look good for my husband," she flirted, "even though I won't see you until later."

"You always look good," He noticed her blush, "Do you think you can leave early?"

"I'll get out of there as soon as possible. So, we should go."

Noah put up a minor fuss when Ed tried to put on his jacket. He was worried about covering the red shirt, but he was easily assuaged. "You'll take it off and hang it on your hook at day care, bud."

"You wear a coat, Daddy?"  
Ed wasn't going to, but he grabbed his lighter trench and put it on. "We won't zip up, ok? Then everyone can still see the red."

Olivia watched all this with admiration. Ed had infinite patience and was so good with Noah. Sometimes she wished she could tolerate preschooler whimsy as well as he dealt with it.

"Ready guys?"

Ed kissed her lightly on the cheek, "We are. No, doesn't Mommy look gorgeous?"

"Gojus!"

Ed and Olivia walked Noah to day care and they were still finishing their goodbyes when he sprinted into the play area to join the other red-clad youngsters. They watched him interact with the kids for a few minutes.

"He's growing up too fast," Olivia murmured.

Ed held her hand, "So we appreciate every minute, right?"

She met his eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat so she could speak clearly. "Right."

…..

Thirty minutes later, the tears returned and Olivia was powerless to stop them. Ed dropped her off at the precinct, kissed her, and wished her a gravelly "Happy Valentine's Day." He was staying reticent about the plan for the evening, but she did know that Brooke was coming over to babysit Noah.

Olivia bought coffee and glanced at her emails on the way to her office.

"Mornin' Lieu!"

Carisi's voice, even for him, was unusually perky. Olivia looked up and her entire squad was standing up, grinning at her. This was not their usual morning greeting.

"What's going on?"

"You had an early morning delivery." Fin said.

Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"In your office," Rollins directed.

Her interest piqued, Olivia walked briskly through the squad room and saw it before she entered. On her desk was the largest rose bouquet she had ever seen. Her jaw dropped, legs shook, and her eyes filled with tears. Fin, Carisi, and Rollins left her alone and Olivia closed the office door.

There had to be two, no, three dozen pink and red roses arranged with baby's breath in a clear glass vase. Maybe it was four dozen. Instead of a standard wallet-sized note, a regular greeting card had been placed next to the flowers. She opened it.

On the front was the silhouette of a couple walking on the beach.

 _For my wife on Valentine's Day_

The inside read:

 _Years from now, I picture us still holding hands, still laughing, and still completely in love. Just like we are now._

Below the printed message was Ed's handwriting.

 _Liv,_

 _If I added up all the happiness in my life before you and I became_ _us_ _, they would not come close to equaling how happy you have made me. Words cannot express how_ _grateful_ _I feel to get to share my life with you. Sometimes I can't believe it's real. But it is. Nobody will ever love you as much as I do. I am so proud to be your husband._

 _Love, Ed_

Still in his car, Ed held his phone, waiting for her call. He predicted it would take her about ten minutes to get to her office, discover the flowers, start crying, and call him. It took twelve. He hadn't factored in the coffee run.

"Hey," he answered casually. He heard her sniffling. "Everything alright?"

"You…I…the flowers, how did they get here?"

"I made sure the delivery guy saw my gun when I told him they needed to be there by seven," Ed joked.

"I wasn't expecting this."

"I know. How do they look?"

"They're _beautiful_ ," Olivia exclaimed. She leaned into them, taking in the aroma, "and they smell great, too. And, Ed, the _card_. Your _note_. I don't know what to say other than I feel the exact same way."

"I mean every word, Liv. Every single word. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Are you gonna be able to work now?"

Olivia chuckled, "I'll try…but the bouquet is quite, uh, _oversized_."

"Five dozen."

Olivia couldn't help it. She rasped a Sarah-esque "Omigod."

 _How much did that cost?_

"The smaller ones just didn't cut it."

"Gotcha."

"I really shoulda had them fill the room with them," Ed kidded, "Maybe next year."

"You're the king of romance."

"Don't tell anybody. I have a reputation to protect."

Olivia turned and saw Fin, Carisi, and Rollins trying to make out what was happening in the office. "Well, you've spilled the beans to my squad for sure."

"They can be trusted."

"Is this _the_ Captain Tucker from IAB I'm talking to?"

He laughed. "I better get off the phone. I'm losing my edge."

Olivia's voice softened, "Ed, thank you, I feel…so loved."

"You are."


	3. Chapter 3

**Valentine's Day, Part II**

"Well, Tucker, Happy Valentine's Day." Cole raised his glass with a simper, and took a long drink of the pilsner. Ed successfully ended his day early-a little _too_ early for Olivia, and, the two investigators huddled at the Peter McManus Café for a late afternoon drink.

Tucker smirked back at him. "Back at ya, Cole."

" _So_ ," Draper spoke in his usual penetrating, curious drone, "Whaddaya have up your sleeve for tonight?"

"It's a secret."

"Expensive?"

"Yes, well, not too bad, I got a good deal. Barba of all people actually hooked me up."

Cole whistled, " _Whew_. Aren't you worried about using up all your Aces in the hole too soon?"

Ed took a drink and paused, savoring the pleasant burn of the bourbon, and dismissed the possibility, "Nah. I always think of something."

"I'm glad my wife doesn't know Olivia very well. I'd be in the doghouse for sure if they compared notes."

"What're you doing?"

Cole looked embarrassed and muttered, "First, I need to pick up flowers on the way home." Draper had been married for over twenty years and had three kids at home. He and his wife were long past Valentine's Day hoopla. As Ed listened to Cole's description of what sounded like a terribly mundane dinner and a movie, he vowed to always have something spectacular in store for the most romantic day of the year.

"Cole, man, they're gonna be _out_ of the good flowers now."

Draper broke into a grin and gave Ed a friendly shove, "Lookit you, Tucker. I'm proud of you. All in new husband mode. You probably had her flowers ordered since the day after you got married."

The estimate was close. The floral delivery had been in the works for two weeks, but Tucker had been planning the major part of the evening _before_ the wedding. He couldn't wait to see the raw jubilance on Olivia's face when he finally revealed how they were spending their evening.

Cole continued the friendly ribbing, "Don't worry. It won't be long 'til you're just like the rest of us, scrambling around at the last minute."

Ed finished his drink.

 _I don't think so._

"Another one?" Cole asked.

Ed checked his watch.

"One more."

…

Brooke texted back and forth with her sort-of boyfriend as she rode the elevator to the apartment. A few days after she agreed to babysit Noah, he called to apologize. He had to be on duty that night and the rest of the nights that week, so they were getting together at some point during the weekend. She shifted her bag from one shoulder to the other and hoped Noah would go to bed early and easily. Inside the bag was a thick stack of papers that needed grading.

Lucy opened the door and held it open for her. "Hey, Brooke!"

Brooke smiled at Lucy, said hello, and asked if she had any plans.

Lucy looked down at Noah regretfully, "No, I don't. Noah, well, he was kind of it. And I have a paper to write."

Brooke picked him up and snuggled him, "Well, he's a good-lookin' date!"

Lucy tickled him. "Yes he is!" She exclaimed.

"And good luck on the paper," Brooke added, "Let me know if you need a proofreader."

"Thanks," Lucy said, sounding as if she may actually take Brooke up on the offer, "So, do you know what your Dad and Olivia are doing tonight?"

"No, he won't tell anybody."

Lucy lowered her voice and glanced around as if she anticipated hidden cameras and voice recorders in their midst, "Well, last week, when he came home, he was on the phone with someone. And I think I know what it is."

Brooke pointed to the kitchen and plopped Noah by his toy box, "Let's go in there. If he hears anything, he'll be blabbing about it all night."

Lucy and Brooke retreated to the kitchen and spoke in hushed tones, reviewing the bits of evidence they had either been privy to or come about accidentally. The dearth of information was prohibitive, though, and the ladies agreed any prediction they could come to was pure speculation.

…..

Olivia called Fin into her office.

"What's up, Liv? You know, we got this, you can go."

She stood, arms akimbo, staring at the gigantic bouquet. "I know. I'm leaving. I…would you be offended if you sent me these flowers and I didn't bring them home?"

"Yes."

A light bulb went off in Olivia's head. "Hey! Get me an evidence box."

"You're gonna put them in an _evidence_ box? Now that would _really_ offend me."

Olivia waved her hand. "No, no, no. I'm going to take some of them home and leave the rest here." She would put them in the vase Casey gave them as a wedding gift and tell Ed she thought it would be nice to have some at work and some at home.

"Good idea. I'll grab the box."

Olivia sent a text to Ed informing him of her imminent departure and then sent another one to Brooke asking if she wanted dinner delivered. She replied quickly.

 _No, I'm taking him out if that's ok. We'll wait until you two get home and then go._

 _Ok. Thank you again for watching him. See you in a bit._

Fin returned with the box and carefully plucked the thorny roses from the vase. "How many?"

"Half?"

"Yeah, you better do half."

"And then I need to get home before he does," she was starting to worry about the aesthetically unpleasant box.

Fin finished the transfer. "I'll walk you out."

"Thanks."

Olivia said quick goodbyes to Carisi and Rollins as she walked briskly out of the squad room. Fin shot them a little eye roll through the flower stems but followed dutifully.

"So, what are you two up to tonight?" Fin asked in the elevator.

"I have no idea."

He nudged her playfully, "I bet it'll be good. You got Tucker whipped, Liv."

She contemplated this for a second. "I guess I do."

"That's a good thing."

Again, Olivia delayed her reply. She remembered their last Valentine's Day together, right after the Abraham case, in the early days of their intimate relationship. They had dinner, went for a cozy nightcap at a wine bar, and concluded the night at her place, one of the first times he spent the entire night. However, the heart wrenching devastation Abraham had inflicted on his family cast a pall over their moods. Tonight would be different.

She pictured her husband's ruddy face and mused, "He's a good man."

Fin held the door for her, "He got himself a good woman."

…..

"Mommy!"

Noah started to sprint towards Olivia but stopped in his tracks when he noticed her arms were full.

"Hi sweetheart. Just a second. Mommy has to put these flowers in a vase."

Brooke furrowed her brow and cast an odd stare at Olivia. "Did you bust a flower-wielding Valentine's perp?"

Olivia laughed, put down the box, and tried to remember where she had stored the vase she thought would never be used. "Not exactly," she answered hurriedly, "Your Dad sent me every rose in the metro area…and I brought half of them home."

"That's _half_?"

Olivia opened and closed closet and cabinet doors, "Yes."

"Wow."

"I know."

"Noah and I are going to the Chocolate Bar," Brooke half-shouted and Olivia darted to the back hallway.

"He'll love that!"

Brooke heard rumbling, a thud, another thud, and then an elated "found it!"

"We really need to move," Olivia remarked. She was frazzled, but in her hands was the large crystal vase engraved with _Ed and Olivia, December 31, 2016_. Brooke offered to arrange the flowers.

"Noah," Olivia said, "Tell Mommy about the party."

"We ate cupcakes and sang songs."

"Did your teachers like their cards?"

"Yes," Noah smiled coyly, "They gived me hugs."

"What did you eat for lunch?"

"Hot dog."

"Did you ride your bike?"

"Uh-huh. Lucy taked me to ride. I go fast! It's warm outside, Mama, so we can ride the bike. The helmet's too tight." Noah went to the entryway and got his helmet. Olivia fiddled with the cluster of straps but the plastic clips didn't budge.

"We'll have to get Daddy to do it. He'll fix it before you go out again."

"I go out now?"  
"No, Brookey's going to take you out on a date."

Noah giggled. "You go on a date, too?"

"Yes, with Daddy."

Brooke, finished with the roses, broke down the evidence box and shoved it in the recycling bin. She placed the arrangement on the coffee table. If Olivia had been watching television, her view would have been mostly obstructed.

"Thanks, Brooke," Olivia had to slide over to see her stepdaughter, "I hope we're not ruining your plans for tonight."

Brooke read too much into the comment. _What did Olivia mean? Did she know?_

"No, no…I don't have anything going on until the weekend. It's hard for me to go out on the weeknights. I end up being so tired at school the next day."

Olivia sensed she was uncomfortable, so she let Brooke off the hook. "Have you thought about applying for jobs closer to home?"

"I have, and I'm working on my resume and all that. The commute is hard, but the school…it's wearing on me. Those kids need so much. I hate to abandon them, but this is my fifth year, and I'm just running out of energy. I need an easier job if I'm going to do this for the rest of my life."

The South Bronx, where Brooke taught middle school, was one of the most dangerous places in the city, and the students Brooke taught came to school hungry, tired, mentally scarred, abused, and, to add insult to injury, most of their academic skills were hopelessly behind grade level.

"Nobody would blame you for needing a change," Olivia said softly, "You don't want to get burned out so early in your career, and, you'd still be teaching. Still making a difference."

Brooke rubbed her face, "I know. I just remember the looks we give people when they announce they're not coming back, like we sneer at them with this sanctimonious attitude, but really we're all wishing _we_ could be moving on."

"I get it. The same thing happens in the NYPD."

Brooke narrowed her eyes, "How have you stayed in SVU so long?"

Olivia took a deep breath. She knew the answer; it was not the first time someone had asked the question. "I feel like, if I'm not there, the victims will suffer even more. And, yes, my shrink has told me multiple times that this is not true, but, I'm called to do this."

Olivia had never mentioned her shrink directly to Brooke before and Brooke had never been to a therapy session, although she wondered about it. "The shrink? It helps?"

"It does," Olivia replied serenely, "At the very least, it's nice to have an objective person to talk to. He gets my job and gets why I want to stay and he understands there's enough success, enough validation, to keep me there."

"And you have a good squad."

Olivia smiled. "I do. It took a while for everyone to gel, but we're in sync now. And, thank God, getting along."

"Getting along? Sounds like _my job_."

"Yeah, Carisi annoyed Fin until, I don't know, last week," Olivia chuckled at her own joke, "Carisi and Rollins, I don't know what's going on with them. Sometimes I think they're sleeping together and other times they're bickering like brother and sister. We've had a few sergeants in and out, on loan from other precincts, until we get the results of Amanda's exam."

Brooke tried not to get caught up in the comment about Carisi and Rollins. "And then you'll have to break in a new detective?"

"Yep, and, actually, that may be easier than trying to fit an older Sarge into our unit. SVU requires a little more finesse than other squads."

Noah, whose sense of hearing was apparently much keener than the others', ran to the door before Olivia and Brooke heard the keys in the lock. Ed almost tripped over his son before he hoisted him in the air.

"Whoa! Hey, bud!"

"Hi, Dada!" Noah played with the knot in Ed's tie. "Brookey's here for Valentine's."

"Yeah, that's great, you're gonna hang out with Brookey while I take Mommy out."

"On a date!"

Ed broke into one of his rare toothy grins, "Yeah, on a date."

Olivia kissed him hello, caught a whiff of the bourbon, but opted not to comment about it. "Captain, can you give me some guidance on what I should wear this evening?"

"We're gonna be inside and outside. So, layers."

"Casual? Formal?"

"Uh, regular."

"What does _that_ mean?"

Ed put Noah down and removed his coat and tie. "You know, not work clothes."

Olivia let him get changed first. He emerged in black slacks and a gray sweater over a red collared shirt, and she mirrored him except that she opted for a red sweater.

"Bring your coat and maybe a hat and scarf," Ed instructed.

She screwed up her face and met Brooke's equally curious eyes. _It's not that cold_. But, Olivia was beyond the point of asking questions and obediently shoved a scarf and a knit beanie in her purse.

"Have fun on your date, Noah!" Olivia said, kissing her son goodbye, "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart."

"Happy Valentine's Mommy! Happy Valentine's, Daddy!"

Ed kissed him and then kissed Brooke. "You two have fun. We won't be too late."

…

"Are you going to blindfold me?"

Ed felt her arm tightly intertwine with his; he knew she was gazing at him, and he turned to meet her eyes as they walked the short distance to Medi Wine Bar which Ed thought would be a nice, out of the ordinary treat. He was a pub guy, but Benson talked him in to trying this place when they first started dating. That night he told himself that he would at least tolerate the menu for her sake, but he ended up adding the restaurant to his list of favorites. It was, however, not an easy place to take Noah.

"No blindfold," he said through a smile, "That pretty face of yours needs to stay uncovered."

" _Ed_ …"

"I'm serious."

"Where are we going and why do I have," she held out her free arm draped with the heavy Burberry trench, "all of this clothing with me?"

They were steps away from Medi, and the Ninth Avenue bistros bustled with duos eating, drinking, and waiting to be told their tables were ready. Tucker took his hands out of his pockets and took Olivia's elbow, leading her closer to the curb so he didn't obstruct pedestrian traffic when he kissed her.

"Mmmmm." Her eyes were still closed as he pulled away.

"There's more where that came from," he promised and then nodded towards the entrance, "come on, I made a reservation."

…..

Brooke and Noah sat across from one another on the second level at Max Brenner Chocolate Bar off Union Square. Noah was already a mess from his mac & cheese, and she read the dessert menu, looking for the most outrageous sweet treat. As he fed himself, bits of macaroni and sauce had dribbled down the front of the shirt, but Brooke accepted blame for that. She should've brought his child-sized utensils.

"No, do you still wear a bib?"

He shook his head, "No bib, Brookey."

"They have plastic ones here. You might need to wear one for dessert."

Noah's eyes lit up, "Chocit dessert?"

"Yes. And ice cream. Cake. And, bananas or strawberries."

"Bananas _and_ strawberries."

"I'll ask."

The waiter arrived and Brooke ordered Max's Palace Famous Chocolate Mess Party with both fruits for the two of them and a Pinot Noir for herself. She sat back in her chair and studied Noah as he alternated between his cars and his coloring book. He actually was a pretty good date now that he was talking more and more. As he ate dinner, he answered her questions about school; he told her all about wanting to see the movie _E.T._ Brooke wondered where he would have even heard of that movie, but she told him she would get the DVD if it wasn't on Netflix. He chattered on and on about his bike and his sled, asked Brooke if she had a bike, she said she did, and promised they would ride together in the spring.

When her wine was delivered, she and Noah toasted Valentine's Day with Noah screaming "Cheers" as loud as he could, but the shout did nothing to attract attention in the already cacophonous space.

His next action _did_ garner her attention. Noah tried to stand on his chair as he pointed down to the main level.

"Noah, no, _sit down_ ," Brooke commanded sharply, using her teacher voice.

Their table was pressed up against the railing and there was quite a precipitous drop down to the first floor. Noah, not used to hearing this tone from Brooke, immediately sat down, but he still pointed at something…or someone.

"It's Sonny! Brookey, see? It's Sonny down _therrrre_!"

 _Fuck_.

She told him they were coming here, but he was supposed to be working. Brooke had not accounted for an impromptu drop-in. She looked at Noah who was now trying to yell loud enough to get Carisi's attention.

Brooke watched him figure out the restaurant seating was mostly upstairs. He bounced up the steps and made a beeline for their table, swiping an extra chair on the way.

"Hey guys!"

"Hi Sonny!" Noah reached out for him.

Carisi sat him in his lap. "Happy Valentine's Day, Noah!"

"We eating dinner, Sonny. On a _date_."

Carisi's eyes were on Brooke as he answered, "Yeah, yeah, sorry for interrupting. I was just out grabbing some food and thought I'd stop by and say hello before I went back to work."

Noah tapped Carisi's shield, "You police, Sonny."

Sensing Brooke's apprehension, he tried to joke, "Yeah. And later, after all the dinners and drinks go wrong, I'm gonna have to arrest some people."

Noah looked at him, wide-eyed, as if he understood. Brooke was also gaping, but it was out of the realization that her little secret was not going to be a secret for much longer. Their relationship started casually, a drink every now and then, but the drinks turned into dinners and then nights at her place. He worked a lot and they only met up once or twice a week which contributed to Brooke's feeling that this was something casual and temporal, but now here he was, showing up on Valentine's Day, even if it was just for a few minutes. However, Olivia's earlier comment about him and Rollins still played on a loop in her mind. Nevertheless, Noah was sure to report this encounter to his parents.

She tried to act normally, "Do you want to have dessert with us?"

Carisi checked his watch, "I don't think I have time, but, hey," he flagged down the waiter, "Can we get three of those chocolate shot things?"

"Yessir."

Three syringes of gooey chocolate were promptly delivered. Carisi handed over a twenty and waved off any change.

"Ok, Noah, bet you've never done this before!" Sonny couldn't imagine Olivia bringing her son here for a two-ounce injection of sugar and cocoa. He helped Noah with the mechanism. Predictably, the chocolate ended up everywhere—his shirt, face, hands, but a bit did find his mouth. Noah licked his lips, gleefully satisfied. Brooke pulled a travel-sized package of wipes from her purse. She had just finished cleaning his hands when the Chocolate Mess Party arrived.

Carisi's endearing guffaw made Brooke laugh. "Wow!" he blurted out.

Noah, slack-jawed, stared at the platter of chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate chunks, and sprinkles.

"Well, No," Brooke said, handing him a spoon, "Dig in, buddy. It's Valentine's Day! Oh, wait…here," Brooke picked up the bib, "Let's not do any more damage to your shit." It was, after all, a Polo.

Carisi took the bib, lightly touching her fingers in the exchange, and tied it around Noah's neck. He dug in and Carisi got up to leave.

"I gotta get back," he said, placing a hand on Brooke's shoulder, "but we're getting together Saturday, right?"

She felt his fingers press into her skin ever so slightly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm free pretty much all day."

"Great, maybe we can go bowling or something and then get dinner?"

"I'm a terrible bowler."

"I'm not. I'll give you some pointers."

Brooke hoped he wouldn't notice her blushing as she grinned at him, "Ok. I think I'll take you up on that."

…..

"Sir, do you and your wife want to see the dessert menu?"

Ed waved it off, "No, thanks. Just the check." The waiter went to grab the bill. "We're having dessert elsewhere," he explained to Olivia.

She thought _dessert_ really meant _sex_ , and she wondered where exactly _dessert_ was taking place. Ed's covert ops surrounding this night were too extensive and too carefully guarded for him to just take her to dinner and then back to the apartment.

The February air was still uncharacteristically balmy as Ed flagged down a taxi. He couldn't believe his luck. When he first began plotting his Valentine's Day home run, Barba warned him there was a good chance it wouldn't work out. The Hudson River, which usually didn't freeze over, had nearly been crippled by the December and January temperatures, but the mid-winter thaw came at the perfect time.

Ed ushered Olivia into the taxi's backseat.

"79th Street Boat Basin," Ed told the driver.

….

Brooke drew Noah's bath water and considered putting his clothes in there with him. The plastic bib was not very effective and he was covered from head to toe with remnants from their chocolaty date. It was even in his hair. She used the handheld attachment to hose him down as he played with his boats in the bubbles.

"I'm gonna dry your hair, then we'll read a story and go night-night."

"You go night-night, Brookey?"

"No, I'm going to work."

Noah made a face and repeated the word softly. "Work."

"Didja have fun on our date, No?" Brooke usually did not ask questions like this, but she wanted to assess how much he internalized the visit from Sonny.

"Yes! We go again tomorrow?"

"No…we go there on special days."

He frowned a little, "We still go for pizza?"

 _Hmmm, Sonny's visit didn't seem to resonate with him._ "Of course! We'll always go for pizza."

Brooke texted back and forth with Sarah as Noah made a few more loops with his boat.

 _We need to FaceTime later._

Sarah, as usual, was quick to reply. _It's Valentine's Day. I'm kinda….busy._

 _Ok, well, tomorrow._

 _Ok._ The "ok" was followed by at least a dozen heart emojis.

…..

"You rented a _yacht_?"

The boat captain, who was being paid handsomely for his services, ascended to the navigation level and Ed led Olivia on deck where two bottles, one port, one champagne, were chilling and a tiramisu had already been set out, expertly presented. The area was enclosed on three sides by large sliding glass doors and it was warm enough, at least while they were docked, to open them.

Ed nuzzled her neck. "I did." Actually, Barba's buddy let him use the yacht free of charge; Tucker was paying for the gas and the captain, but the details could be explained later.

Olivia spun around. "You're full of surprises."

"I love seeing the look on your face when you're surprised."

She reached into her purse, "Well, I haven't given you your present yet."

"I told you not to get me anything."

"Well, it's not _just for you…"_

He raised his eyebrows and opened the red envelope. Inside was a card which he read before opening a second enclosure.

Olivia watched expectantly as he read her own heartfelt message.

 _Ed,_

 _I'm writing this as you're sleeping next to me, and, of course, I'm starting to cry. My love for you is so intense…it's beyond any description I could possibly come up with. So I'll just say thank you…for being so perfect, so kind, so loving, so_ _you_ _. I love every minute of us and I love you and I love you being next to me every night. Happy Valentine's Day._

 _Always yours,_

 _Olivia_

He shyly cast his eyes downward for a few extra seconds and a red flush engulfed his cheeks. He said nothing, just brought her in for a kiss.

"Open the other thing," Olivia said, her lips still on his.

Inside the second envelope was a travel confirmation, a five-day trip to Key West, scheduled for the end of the month. They had batted around ideas for a honeymoon, but it seemed like a final decision got further and further away. Once again, just as she had done with the wedding, Olivia took control and made the arrangements. Ed ate up her assertiveness.

"I made sure you and I could both get away from work," she explained, "and Sarah and Brooke are going to take care of Noah over the weekend and Jesse's nanny is watching him for the three weekdays. I hope you don't mind—"

Ed's eyes glistened. He took her face in his hands and kissed her hard. "I've never received a better gift. I can't wait."

"Really?"

"Of course."

They spent the next hour bundled up and wrapped in each other's arms as the boat captain steered the yacht on a gigantic loop along the Hudson River. They alternated between kissing and silently taking in the Manhattan skyline, but as they made a final turn in view of the Statue of Liberty and the new One World Trade Center, Ed's desire for his wife became irresistible. His arms tightened around her and he delved into her mouth with his tongue. He felt her react against him, heard her soft moan as she kissed back, and his body filled with a fiery burst so intense he wished they were the only two people on the boat. Their faces crushed together, at times sloppy and ferocious and at other moments tender and precise, but both Ed and Olivia wondered how, after all the meetings of their lips, they could find ways to make each new kiss more exciting than the last.

…..

Ed drove a drowsy Brooke the ten blocks back to her apartment and returned to find Olivia sitting casually on the couch, still fully dressed.

She tried to be as sultry as possible. "I couldn't decide whether you would prefer to find me in bed or if you would want to take my clothes off yourself. So I erred on the safe side."

He studied her with a cocky expression.

"Good choice, Lieutenant."

"Happy Valentine's Day, baby."

The night's intimacy was neither frantic, rough sex nor was it slow, methodical lovemaking. Foreplay lasted longer than usual and in between kisses and caresses, they talked seriously—about the future, the new apartment they would buy, their impending vacation and all the vacations after that, birthdays, holidays, joint IRAs, Noah's first day of Kindergarten, teaching him to ride a two-wheeler…

And when they finally came together as one, and they flailed and writhed and perspiration beaded on both their foreheads, they both knew this was more than physical pleasure, it was more than love—it was commitment and devotion of the highest order, and the reality of all of it was almost too overwhelming to bear.

…

The next morning at work, Olivia tried to put her thoughts about the previous night on the backburner and focus, but this mental suppression proved difficult. Fin's reports only partially registered, and she signed off on something for Rollins, but she couldn't be sure exactly what it had been. She settled in behind her desk and powered on the laptop when Carisi strolled in.

"Hey, Lieu! Good Valentine's Day?"

And the images came rushing back—the dinner, the yacht, the kiss, the sex, the morning sex, this morning's drawn-out kiss goodbye, the irresistible yearning for her husband—but, true to form, she coolly replied, "It was. Seems like everything was under control here?"

"Yeah, everything you need is on your desk. How's Noah?"

Consternation clouded Olivia's face. "He's…fine. Why do you ask?"

"Well, after eating all that chocolate last night I thought maybe he'd be a little green this morning."

As soon as Carisi said it, he knew he crossed a line. Olivia's quizzical expression made apparent that she had no idea he had been seeing Brooke socially. Sonny knew Brooke was reluctant to tell her family about their dates, so he awkwardly tried to backtrack.

"I, uh, ran into Brooke and Noah at Max Brenner."

"You _ran into_ them?"

"Yeah, I—'

Olivia put her hands up, fingers splayed, palms facing outward, "You know what, Carisi, I don't want to know."

"Ok."

"When Brooke wants to tell us, she will."

"Got it."

"And, Carisi?"

"Yeah?"

Olivia removed her glasses and fixed her eyes on him, trying to be simultaneously stern and compassionate. After all, he was a good guy. "Take her somewhere nice this weekend, will ya?"

He flashed an appreciative smile. "Ten-four, Lieu."

….

 **#Tuckson #Family #Always #EndGame**

 **Hope you enjoyed it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Honeymoon, Part I**

Olivia listened as Ed attempted to soothe a distressed Noah. She was in their bedroom packing for the trip to Key West, but the apartment was otherwise silent, and she caught bits and pieces of Ed's oratory. Noah picked the absolute worst time to go through a phase of attachment anxiety, and it seemed to arise all of a sudden, mostly when he left Ed. One morning, after weeks of seamless day care drop offs, he threw an all-out tantrum when he saw his Daddy leaving. He clung desperately to Ed, sobbing into his shoulder, leaving the IAB Captain with a tear-and-snot stained lapel. Tucker, always so patient, walked him up and down the hall, speaking softly until the three-year-old's sobs abated.

"Mommy will get you this afternoon," Ed assured, hoping he had the right day. He, Olivia, Brooke, and Lucy alternated pickups. "And your friends and teachers are here waiting to play with you." Noah reluctantly joined the rest of the kids, but a similar scene occurred the next morning and then the following evening when Ed and Olivia left him with the babysitter to enjoy a date night.

Everyone Olivia consulted assured her this was normal for his age and it wouldn't last long, but leaving him for five days was going to cause everyone more anxiety that she'd anticipated.

They decided to take just one large suitcase and a garment bag for the two dresses and one light weight suit Ed decided to take but doubted he'd wear. Wedging his things beside hers, she smiled and ran the back of her hand over his khaki shorts, thinking about how cute he looked in casual clothing.

In the other room, Ed sat with Noah in the rocker. "We're gonna bring you back all kinds of presents, bud," he promised. Noah remained plastered to his chest. "And you'll be right here with Sarah and Brookey, and we'll call you every night. You'll have so much fun with Sarah. She's coming to stay with you all the way from Philly."

With Jeff away at the Phillies' spring training camp, Sarah jumped at the chance to take a view vacation days to stay with Noah while Ed and Olivia were in Key West. Olivia, thinking it was too big a favor, protested at first, but Ed's youngest daughter insisted. "Omigod, omigod, I'm gonna be a _mommy_ for a week!" Sarah gushed during the Face Time call. Ed remembered shrugging and telling Olivia not to worry about it. When she wanted something, she got it.

Ed rubbed Noah's back. "We're all having dinner together tonight, No. What do you want to eat?"

"Sarah coming today?"

"Yep, Brookey's picking her up from the train."

Noah perked up at _train_. "Sarah ride on the train?"

"Yep."

"I want to ride on train, too!"

"Someday we'll ride it to see Sarah and Jeff."

Connecting travel with the reality of his parents leaving, Noah's face broke into a pout and he put his head back on Ed's chest.

Olivia was just about to step into the room when she heard Ed, in a near-whisper, say, "I love you, bud."

"Love you, Daddy."

She had to dab at her eye with the back of her finger before entering the room. "Hey guys," she managed to say cheerfully.

Noah craned his neck and looked up at her, "Hi Mama."

"I heard you talking about dinner. What sounds good?"

"Are we going out?"

"Let's stay in," Olivia said, "I'm tired and we have an early flight."

"We can let the girls decide."

"Ok," she rubbed Noah's head, "Hey sweet boy, wanna go with me to get some things for you and Sarah to eat while we're away?"

"I stay here."

"Are you sure? I need your help. You know what Sarah likes."

"No."

Olivia replied with extra dramatic flair, "I just don't know what _cookies_ she likes, or…"

Noah flipped himself over, "Sarah likes Oreos and, and, the _red_ ones."

"Red ones? See? I don't know what those are. Please come with me."

"Ok, mommy, I go." Noah, somewhat reluctantly, dragged himself away from Ed.

Olivia got him bundled up and headed out. Ed remained in the rocking chair for several minutes, coming to terms with why Noah was probably freaking out lately. The middle strip of Ed's chest, where Noah had collapsed himself, now felt cold and vacant, like there was a piece of him missing. The apartment was rarely quiet—there was always something or someone making noise, and Ed realized he was rarely alone anymore. For someone like him, used to solitude for so long, it was weird how being alone now unsettled him and, perhaps, little Noah was experiencing the same feeling. Of course, he was incapable of figuring out what that feeling actually _was_. Since Ed had come into their lives, the amount of people regularly involved in Noah's world increased dramatically—Brooke, Sarah, Jeff, Caroline…even, to a certain extent, Margie and John. Since Valentine's Day, though, everyone got busy. Brooke's school launched a new after-school and weekend initiative aimed at helping the most struggling students. Sarah missed several of her usual bi-weekly Face Time calls. A spate of officer-involved shootings stretched Tucker's investigative squad thin, and SVU was always consumed with the city's next sexual predator. At least she now had a full squad, but, still, Olivia was the boss and most times, she _had_ to be there. The bustle in Noah's life had dissipated in the past few weeks, and he was probably missing it.

Ed propelled himself from the chair, raised his arms and arched his back, engaging in a full body stretch. He then spun slowly around, taking in all things Noah—his trains, books, plastic and plush dinosaurs, framed pictures of the three of them, primary-colored blocks spelling his name, the ties, the badge, and his toddler bed with the blue and green sheets, the favorite fleece blanket, and Bernie, who was wedged between the pillow and the headboard, ready to be plucked for bedtime.

Soon they would pull the trigger on a larger apartment and the kid could have an actual bedroom, not this makeshift space which was no larger than some of the enormous walk-in closets he and Olivia saw when they watched late night reruns of House Hunters on HGTV. At least Noah had a window, but even that was undersized, almost an afterthought, and the frosted pane was not especially effective at letting in natural light. Noah's things, most of them top-of-the-line and expensive, seemed out of place in this sorry excuse for a kid's bedroom.

Ed scooped a small pile of child-sized laundry on his way out of the room and deposited it in the hamper. He closed the lid and a rush of satisfaction suddenly overwhelmed him.

Bewildered, he chuckled to himself. He couldn't believe something so mundane had made him feel that way. But this was the reality of his life now—he wanted to be alone only if it meant _alone with his family_ , and he appreciated the simplest tasks. He'd missed many of those when Brooke and Sarah were little, and now he had a voracious appetite for all things domestic.

It was an odd thing to admit the night before departing for paradise with his gorgeous wife, but Ed felt a little of Noah's melancholy when he thought about being away from him for six days.

…

Unsurprisingly, Sarah took up all the space in the room when she arrived with Brooke later that evening. She had the uncanny ability to create the illusion of being in two or three places at once. As she hugged Olivia, she was firing dinner suggestions at Ed. Hugging Ed, she repeated her _I'm going to be a mommy for a week_ chatter. She smothered Noah in kisses and danced him around, bumping into Brooke and into the dining table. Olivia gazed amusedly at Ed who wore his _I love her but she's exhausting_ expression which was his default countenance when Sarah visited.

"Noey," she said seriously, holding Noah's face about an inch from hers, "We are going to have the _best_ time. Every morning I will make you breakfast, then we'll go to the playground, then we'll come back and rest up. We'll eat junk food for lunch and have cake for dinner! How's that?"

At the moment, Noah appeared to be fine with his parents jetting off for a few days. He giggled, but there was doubt in his laughter. _Yeah, I'm three, but even I know you're not serious._

Olivia placed a glass of wine on the coffee table for Sarah and sat in the armchair. "He goes to school Monday and Wednesday, so you have those days free. Until six-thirty if you want."

"Does he _have_ to go?" Sarah asked, sounding truly disappointed.

"I'd like him to at least go in the morning for the preschool part."

"Ok. I do have some things I need to get done, so that works out perfectly. But," Sarah tapped Noah's nose with the tip of her index finger, "we're still having cake for dinner."

"We buyed Oreos!"

Sarah's face crumpled as if she were going to cry, and she cooed, "Oh, my heart. My cup runneth over. You remembered!"

Noah, in fact, had never had an Oreo until Sarah entered his life. Cookies, yes, but they were usually local bakery concoctions, not the mass-produced supermarket treats.

" _My cup runneth over_?" Brooke asked incredulously. "What is _that_?"

"It's from the movie Hope Floats," Sarah answered matter-of-factly, and, also, it's in Genesis, or, somewhere in the Bible, I don't remember, it doesn't matter. We're having a _moment_ here."

"Just, ah, get some protein in him," Ed instructed, mostly to Brooke. Unlike Noah, Ed wholeheartedly believed Sarah's promises.

"Don't worry you two," Brooke said, "I'll monitor _both_ children."

Sarah scowled at her sister, "You have to go to work sometime," she warned ominously. "But, speaking of food, are we eating? I'm _starrrvvvvved_. Can we get Burrito Box? You can't get good Mexican in Philly."

Brooke smacked her lips, "There must be _one_ good Mexican place in the city."

"Nope. Not one. Those disgusting cheesesteaks are on every corner, but I can't get a freaking decent order of chili con carne anywhere."

"What's everyone want?" Ed asked. "I'll call it in."

Olivia used the wait time to give instructions to Sarah and Brooke.

 _Emergency numbers on the side of the fridge._

 _Always have his inhaler with you, he hasn't needed it in a while, but, just in case._

 _Bedtime routine starts at eight. Two stories, tuck him in and give him Bernie. He usually goes to bed easily, but he's had this separation thing lately, so it could be ugly. Sorry._

 _Preschool starts at 9:00, but you can drop him at day care as early as seven._

 _You know how to work the TV and everything and you have the wifi password._

 _Noah and I bought snacks and things for dinner, so you don't have to order in or go out if you don't want to._

 _We'll call every night._

 _Thank you._

 _So much._

Sarah did not look at all daunted. "I'm so _excited_! Omigod, it's gonna be so great."

Brooke nudged her, "Practice?"

"No way," Sarah snapped, "I told you, no babies for a _looooooong_ time."

Ed was out of earshot, so the three ladies engaged in a little unrestrained girl talk.

"I thought you and Jeff compromised?"

"We did. I said five years. He said one. So we settled on five."

"That's not what you told us before the wedding."

Sarah let out a frustrated breath, "He hasn't said anything, and if I'm not ready, then, I'm. Not. Ready. And it's not like he's ever around."

Olivia's eyes widened, "What do you mean?"

Sarah's tone became tinged with gloom, "He's always somewhere else. It was the offseason so he was skiing a lot, and now he's in Clearwater. Why? I don't know. He says he's training their stadium staff, but from what I see on Facebook, he's golfing most of the time. And even when he's in town, he's always doing something—going to a game or a concert and most of his friends are still single, so I'm never invited."

When Olivia heard Sarah's gripes about married life, she couldn't help but feel grateful that her own marriage and child had come in the latter part of her life. At first, this reality frustrated her and she constantly asked, both in her mind and in therapy, the same question over and over. _Why did it take so long?_ But, realistically, taking so long was a blessing in disguise. Sure, she and Ed would never celebrate a golden wedding anniversary, but the years they spent together would be _quality_ years; they would glean every ounce of happiness from the time they had. The problems common to young newlyweds didn't apply to them, they had never had a serious argument, and Olivia even had a hard time imagining a scenario that would lead to a nasty spat. Yet, none of this was going to make Sarah feel better, so she did her best to learn more about Sarah's angst.

"Have you talked to Jeff about it?" Olivia asked.

Sarah collapsed onto Noah's bed, smothering Bernie with her hair. "No, I mean, it's not like I'm not out doing things too, but it's like we have these two separate lives. And maybe I'm a little worried because it doesn't bother me as much as it should."

Olivia traded a quick, worried glance with Brooke who silently urged Olivia to take over the conversation. Brooke's eyes didn't lie. She had no clue what to do or say.

"Sarah, you really should sit down and talk about this with Jeff. Maybe make a concerted effort to spend more time together. But, if you're questioning whether or not you want to be married…sweetheart, that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later. And _before_ you have kids."

"I know, I know. It's just…Livvie, I bet you really miss Dad when he's not with you. I don't mean, like you're texting him every minute and miserable, but you would always, _rather_ be with him."

Olivia admitted this was true, but she also acknowledged how out of character it was for her to feel this way and it took her some time to adjust. "Most of my life I've been on my own," she explained, "and I was proud of how independent I was. I never understood what it was like to have a true partner until your Dad came along, so, yes, I always would rather be with him. I don't feel…whole…without him. But that was a little frightening at first."

Brooke and Sarah both gaped at Olivia. They knew they could count on her for advice, guidance, and an objective ear, but when she offered such deeply personal information, they were not only fascinated with the romance of it all but also flabbergasted that the romance involved their father and had transformed him from steely workaholic to devoted family man.

Olivia knew what they were thinking and apologized for waxing philosophical. "Too much information?"

"Oh, Livvie," Sarah sighed, "I wanna be you."

Brooke rubbed her eyes in exasperation. Every time Sarah was face-to-face with Olivia she said something along these lines. "Oh, Sare…" She sighed.

Noah plodded into the room and moved his eyes curiously from Olivia to Brooke and then to Sarah. "You sleep in my bed, Sarah?"

"I guess I could…or maybe…" Sarah sat up and surveyed the room, "We'll make a fort in here and camp out!"

Ed poked his head in, "Noah was supposed to inform you that the food is here."

The girls and Noah filed out, eager to tear into the packages of burritos, quesadillas, and Sarah's chili con carne. Ed reached out his arms to Olivia and pulled her to a standing position. "This time tomorrow," he whispered, "we'll be in the _Keys_."

"I can't wait."

"I wanna dance with you at one of those outdoor tiki bars where they have the fire pits and the ukulele music."

Olivia took in the adorableness of his face and the specific request. "Do you have a place in mind?"

"No, I think I saw it in a movie once."

"We'll find one."

"Yeah. Let's make sure to do that."

….

Ed and Olivia stowed their carry-ons and settled into their first class seats.

"Sure you don't want the window?" Olivia asked as she lifted the shade.

"I'm good."

A flight attendant came over to take drink orders.

"I'll take a vodka tonic," Ed ordered, "and, my wife," he nudged Olivia who was peering out onto the tarmac, "Liv, whaddaya drinking?"

"I'll have a chardonnay, please." She leaned into Ed and murmured, " _Your wife_."

He pursed his lips and looked at her innocently, "What?"

"I like it when you say that."

"I like saying it."

Their drinks were delivered and they took contemplative first sips after toasting to the honeymoon. Ed had a book and Olivia brought a stack of magazines she never had time to read, but they put their reading materials aside and sat in silence, holding hands, as the plane taxied and ascended into the blue sky. The early March morning was clear but chilly, and in a few hours they would jettison their heavier layers in favor of shorts and t-shirts. Ed was even considering trying the flip-flops Olivia bought for him. Tucker was not typically a flip-flop kind of guy.

Ed ordered a second round of cocktails and massaged Olivia's thigh. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" Her gaze hadn't shifted from the window since takeoff.

"A lot of things," she said sweetly, not minding the interruption, "You, us, Noah, Sarah and Brooke, how excited I am to explore Key West with you."

"Wow. That's a lot."

"What were you thinking about?"

Ed leaned over and whispered something into Olivia's ear.

" _Captain_."

He laughed at his ability to make her blush, " _You_ asked."

Olivia felt the need to change the subject, "I hope Noah is ok for Sarah."

"He was fine this morning." Indeed, Noah had not, as predicted, thrown a tantrum when Ed and Olivia said goodbye earlier that morning. They hugged and kissed him, promised to call, and grabbed their luggage. Noah, unfazed, curled up with Sarah on the couch and watched calmly as his parents left.

"I was sure he would freak out."

"Yeah, well, I think having Sarah there is good. And Brooke, too." Ed explained his theory about the root of Noah's anxiety-that he was reacting to the sudden withdrawal of the people he loved. It made sense to Olivia, but she was curious as to how Ed arrived at the conclusion. "I, uh, yesterday when you and Noah left…it was weird."

"Weird?"

"I realized…I don't like it when you're gone."

Olivia laughed, saw hurt in Ed's eyes, and quickly clarified her response, "I told Brooke and Sarah almost the same thing about you last night."

"You did?"

"Yes."

"We're on the same wavelength."

"We are. And I love it. I feel so…optimistic."

"Me too." He gave her one of her favorite kisses-the outwardly innocent quick kiss on the lips, but the one where he let his lower lip linger on hers for an extra second, foreshadowing something more intimate and passionate. "I'm so glad we're doing this." Prior to becoming involved with one another, neither Tucker nor Benson, had burned many vacation days. Even after Olivia took custody of Noah, she relied on Lucy and day care and rarely took time away from work. Not only had they found each other, they also were experiencing a new sense of adventure and a craving for time away from the job. They made no apologies for this; in fact, they vowed to take more trips as Noah got older. But this vacation, this honeymoon, was all about them. Surely, Noah would be missed like crazy, but both Ed and Olivia were looking forward to uninterrupted husband-wife time.

After an hour-long layover in Atlanta, they boarded a smaller plane for the two hour flight to Key West. When they began to descend, the two of them admired the aerial view of the keys. Olivia snapped a few pictures and snickered about taunting her squad with them when they landed.

"So, we'll check in…then, what do you want to do first?"

Olivia thought about the whisper. "Well, I know what _you_ want to do," she flirted.

"Yeah, well, maybe, you know, we can work up an appetite and then grab some lunch."

His shyness made him irresistible. Olivia kissed him, keeping her eyes open and locked on his, "Sounds like a plan."

…

Noah and Sarah spent part of the afternoon ice skating and the other part of it seeing the latest Disney movie. Sarah made sure Noah was loaded with popcorn and candy, and the two of them fit right in with the boisterous mass of little kids and their caregivers. On the way home, Sarah decided to pay Brooke a visit. She had been at school overseeing the tutoring program that morning, but surely she would be home by now. They could hang out and then grab dinner before Sarah attempted her first solo bedtime routine.

Sarah babbled with Noah, wasn't completely aware of her surroundings, and bumped into Carisi as he exited Brooke's building.

"Omigod, omigod, I'm so sorr—" Sarah realized the person was not a random stranger. "Hey! Sonny! Long time no see!"

Carisi shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Yeah, uh, it's been since the wedding, right?"

"I think so," Sarah's stare bore into him as she came to the realization that he was Brooke's secret. "What's up?"

"Just stopped by to say hello to Brooke. On the way to the precinct."

"Well, stay safe out there." Sarah looked up at Noah who was slung over her back, "Tell Sonny to get the bad guys, No!"

"Get em, Sonny!" Noah exclaimed gleefully.

"Will do. Have a good night."

Sarah could not get to Brooke's apartment quickly enough. She burst through the door without knocking, and poor Noah had to cling tightly to her neck to avoid being flung across the room.

"Well, well, well," Sarah chanted, "The cat has been let out of the bag, sissy dearest."

Brooke played it cool, "What do you mean?"

"Noah and I just ran, literally, ran into a certain Detective Sonny Carisi."

"So?"

"Oh, spill it sister. You're caught. Over. Done. You're _dating_ Sonny?"

"I wouldn't call it dating. We've been hanging out."

"Is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?"

"Oh, puh-leeease."

Sarah finally put Noah down on the couch and tossed him her phone. She'd downloaded a few games for him, but he opted to take photos of the girls instead. "Why are you so worried about Dad and Olivia knowing?"

Brooke shrugged, "We're not serious. And…it's just a little awkward because he works for Olivia. So I want to keep it on the down low."

"At least tell Livvie."

"No. Then she'll have to tell Dad. I can't ask her to keep that from him."

Sarah frowned. "Oh, sister. You're too dramatic."

" _I'm_ dramatic?"

Sarah called over to Noah, "No, who's more dramatic? Me or Brookey?"

"You damatic, Sarah."

The sisters cracked up and piled on Noah, tickling him and blowing strawberries on his exposed stomach.

"What are we doing for dinner?" Brooke asked.

"Well, since Sonny is working, I guess you're joining us?" Sarah teased.

"Very funny. No, you wanna get pizza?"

He nodded.

"Ok. We'll get pizza and then I bet Mommy and Daddy will call."

"Mommy and Daddy on ba-cay-shun."

"Yes they are Noey-boey-goey," Sarah sing-songed, "But Brookey and I are gonna take the best care of you. We shall guard you with our lives."

Noah smiled, pointed the phone at Sarah, and she made funny faces for the camera. Noah laughed hysterically and snapped away.

…..

Ed and Olivia stepped out of the shower and came together for another prolonged kiss before toweling off. Ed delicately dabbed at the water droplets on her face, tempted to ask her if she wouldn't mind just going back to bed and staying there with him for the rest of the day and evening. Their ocean-front room was practically on the beach anyway. Why bother going out when they had the best of both worlds, especially with the balcony doors open, letting in the sea breeze and the sounds of gulls in the distance?

"You want to grab a drink downstairs and figure out where to eat?"

Ed replied playfully, "Not really, but, if you insist."

"I do…and…I promise, more of, you know," Olivia motioned towards the king-sized four-poster bed, " _That_ later."

"Ok then," Ed oozed with cooperative spirit, "Whatever you want."

They dressed, found the bar, and parked themselves at one of the large tables. They sat side by side so they both had a view of the pool and the ocean in the distance.

The hotel was a historic Bed and Breakfast. Olivia raved about the ornate architectural details and breathed a sigh of relief because Ed had initially balked at her choice. To him, "Bed and Breakfast" meant shared bathrooms and communal meals, but Olivia assured him this was not the case, and it wasn't. Even though the hotel was over 100 years old, the rooms were updated with modern, private bathrooms, and the only meal provided was a continental breakfast. She wasn't sure where Ed got the idea that they would be forced to mingle with strangers at appointed times during the days and nights.

So, it was a little amusing when, after they'd toasted, shared a kiss, and started working on their drinks, a couple took seats next to them and immediately struck up a conversation.

"Where ya from?" The man asked. He was tall and thick, probably chiseled and athletic in his younger years, but now softer around the edges.

"New York," Ed muttered, trying to clue them in that he and his wife wanted to be left alone.

"Oh! Ok, we have friends in Utica."

"We're from the city. Manhattan."

The woman chimed in, " _Manhattan_? Wicked busy there."

"Where are you from?" Olivia asked, trying to be polite.

"Orono, Maine. Just outside Bangor."

Neither Olivia nor Ed was surprised. The couple had thick northeastern accents.

"I've never been to Maine," Olivia said, "but I've heard it's beautiful."

"We like it. We've been to New York a few times, but we prefer the peace and quiet."

"Nothing wrong with that," Ed chimed in a little too quickly.

The guy didn't get the hint, "Didja just get here?"

"We did."

"Well, piece of advice, you gotta make sure to get to Mallory Square for sunset. That sun just disappears into the horizon. Gorgeous."

"Yeah," Ed said, "I think, Liv, you have that on the list right?"

"I do."

The woman smiled, "We're probably going to see it every night. Breathtaking!"

"Also," the husband added, "You gotta try the conch fritters. They have all kinds of places of lobster rolls…but you need to come to Maine for the best lobster."

"We'll make sure to do that," Ed downed the rest of his drink. "Ready Liv?"

Olivia nodded and finished her wine, "Well, we're heading out to look around."

"Yeah, see ya around, ah, we didn't get your names. I'm George and this is Amy."

"Ed," Tucker shook the man's outstretched hand, "this is my wife, Olivia."

"Nice to meet you both. We'll see you around, maybe later for a nightcap."

Olivia smiled and reached for Ed's hand. "Enjoy your afternoon," she said graciously.

The two of them walked up Duval Street, stopping occasionally to peruse menus at restaurants and pubs that drew their interest. Olivia flipped through her phone and suggested a rooftop bar on the opposite end of the island which offered "breathtaking sunset views." Ed checked the time, they had a little less than two hours until sunset.

"Let's do it," he said eagerly, "and we can Face Time the kids from there." That reminded Olivia of the pictures she wanted to send to her squad. She fired off a few texts to Rollins, Carisi, and Fin, and relinked arms with Ed. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and murmured insistently, "After that, _remember_ —"

"I know, I know. I haven't forgotten the promise." Olivia flashed a grin at him and shook her head, pretending to be annoyed.

 _Men_.

….

 **Thanks for reading! More soon!**

 **#Tuckson**


	5. Chapter 5

**Honeymoon, Part II**

Sarah spread mousse into Noah's hair and combed it to the side. She held him at arm's length and examined her work.

"Handsome," she said to herself.

She finished buttoning the tiny white oxford shirt and asked Noah which tie he wanted to wear.

"Blue one."

Sarah plucked the blue tie from several hanging from a hook on the wall. "Do we need to put your badge on, too?"

"No, Sarah, no police badge on a date."

Sarah smiled and kissed him, happy he was playing along. Earlier that day, she picked Noah up from day care and announced they were going to get dressed up and go to a nice restaurant for a dinner date. At the last minute, Brooke decided to go, which was fine, but Sarah made her promise to wear something other than casual clothes.

Sarah expertly knotted Noah's tie, tucked in the shirt, buckled his belt, and searched for shoes. "No, where are the shoes you wore to the wedding?"

Noah, apparently afraid to move and muss his outfit or hair, pointed to the bed but otherwise stood still. "Under there."

"Good boy. We'll get your shoes tied, then take a picture, and then, off we go!" She announced with a flourish.

"Off we go!" Noah mimicked.

…

Brooke was already seated at a table for three when Noah and Sarah arrived. She broke into laughter when she saw their formal attire. Brooke wore her work clothes, a light sweater over a silky blouse and slacks which she figured would be dressy enough to satisfy her sister's request.

"Sake, please," Sarah ordered from the overly attentive waiter, "and a, um, do you have some type of juice for the young man?" She took his sippy cup from her purse. "I'll put it in this." He nodded and walked briskly away.

"You two look nice," Brooke complimented.

"Thank you. We spent hours prepping. Including manicures."

"No you didn't."

"Yes we did. Noah, show Brookey your hands."

Noah and Sarah both held up their hands and, sure enough, their nails were trimmed, buffed, and Sarah's were painted with a pale pink polish.

Brooke just shook her head and moved on, "You really think he's gonna eat sushi?"

"Maybe. But they have tempura and noodles just in case."

"Have you heard from Liv and Dad today?"

Sarah took a sip of the sake. "I just sent them a pic of the two of us, but they haven't responded yet."

"They'll call later."

"Yeah, right now Dad's probably," Sarah covered Noah's ears under the guise of hugging him tightly and hissed, "fucking her brains out."

Brooke's eyes popped out of her head, " _Sarah_!"

"Oh, come on, you know how they are."

"How are they?"

Sarah tapped the table with chopsticks. "You've met them. They're always touching each other and when they _look_ at each other..."

"What?"

Sarah was growing frustrated with what she perceived as Brooke's lack of cooperation, "Even if they're talking about…the weather…it's like, they want to _devour_ each other right there. Dad's totally…what's the word? _Enamored_."

"You're crazy."

Sarah downed the rest of her sake, "Let's ask Noey."

"Noah, is Sarah crazy?" Brooke asked.

Sarah gave her sister a playful punch, "Not that. We know I'm crazy. Noah, does Daddy love Mommy?"

"Yes."

"How much?" Sarah held her hands about an inch apart. "This much? Or," she held her arms way out, wingspan fully extended, "This much?"

Noah imitated the second movement, "This much!" He said excitedly.

"See?" Sarah sassed.

"I think there are some holes in your research, but I get it," Brooke said flatly, "Still, I don't like to think about Dad… _you-know-whatting_ her brains out."

"I do. I think it's hot."

"You're so weird," Brooke said lovingly, "And lay off the drinks. You're still playing mommy, remember?"

…

Sarah's assumption, at that moment anyway, was not accurate. When she sent the selfie of she and Noah decked out for dinner, Ed and Olivia were a few miles off shore on a snorkeling expedition. When they docked and reconnected with the world, a litany of chimes and vibrations ensued as their messages rolled in.

"Look!" Olivia exclaimed and shoved her phone in Ed's face, "They're adorable!"

Ed grinned. How could anyone not grin? The photo was taken in the kitchen. Noah was sitting on the counter and had his head cocked towards Sarah. He gave the camera his own little smirk, slightly bashful but also tinged with wisdom, as if to tell his parents that he, too, knew Sarah was a little bit nuts. Sarah dressed him in charcoal-colored pants, the white shirt and blue tie, and his pant legs were scrunched up just enough to reveal multicolored striped socks that Sarah must have purchased. They were unfamiliar to Ed and Olivia.

 _Handsome guy, beautiful lady_ , Olivia texted back. Sarah responded immediately with another photo, this one from the restaurant and of all three of them, probably taken by the waiter.

"Oh, my…they have him eating sushi."

"What?" Ed motioned for her to show him the screen. "Wow. He's actually _eating_ it." Sure enough, Noah was in mid-bite, not looking at all intimidated by the unfamiliar cuisine. Olivia was zooming in, ogling at the photo, but Ed was suddenly alarmed. "Is it ok for him to have sushi?"

Olivia brushed off the concern, "He's not allergic to seafood."

"But…raw?"

"They seem to be ok…doesn't bad sushi hit you almost immediately?"

"I don't know…I've only had it a few times and not by choice." Ed sent his own text, this one to Brooke. _Are you sure it's safe for him to eat raw fish?_

 _We asked the waiter and he said it was fine, but we're just giving him the cooked ones just in case_

"Those two…" Ed trailed off.

Olivia snuggled up to him as they walked back towards the hotel. "They're precious."

"Right," he replied sarcastically, "One intentionally works in hell and the other one, well, is so spastic—"

He was interrupted by Olivia choking out a bit of laughter. " _Spastic_?" This was not a word she would have figured Tucker had in his vocabulary.

He reddened at the teasing, "Yes. What other word is there for her?"

Olivia thought, "She's…intense. Passionate. Everything she does, she really puts her all into it. I love that about her."

"I don't think she's putting her all into her marriage."

She swallowed hard. Ed had remained distant from Sarah's marital problems; he wasn't completely in the dark, but he sensed not all was well with Sarah Tucker Matthews. Olivia began to wonder if maybe she'd underestimated him—perhaps he knew more than he let on. "How do you mean?"

"She's always _here_ , well, always in New York."

"Jeff's been away a lot."

"Something's not right," he muttered. Ed had known something was wrong from the beginning, from the time Sarah showed up unexpectedly for Noah's birthday party. Olivia assured him that her reservations were merely cold feet; she was planning a New York wedding from Philadelphia while working in a high-stress job, and she was exhausted. At the time, Ed accepted this. It made sense, and with Christmas and his own wedding, he hadn't thought about it until recently.

They walked two or three blocks in silence, still arm-in-arm, but there was an odd emotional distance between the two of them, an unsettling vibe that neither Ed nor Olivia could remember feeling before.

Ed ushered her down the next side street and made a couple of turns, trying to remember the route he'd looked up earlier.

"Where are we going?" Olivia asked.

"You'll see. It's just," Ed paused and gathered his bearings, "Yeah, I think it's just up here. Yep, there it is."

"What am I looking at?"

"The Hemingway House. And look! It's on the corner of Whitehead Street and _Olivia_ Street." Ed rattled off facts about Hemingway—how he hated the Depression-era idea to turn Key West into a tourist mecca, how his wife put in a pool at the house while he was away and he came back "pissed." They walked along the brick-walled perimeter, visiting hours were over, peering in at the gardens and what they could see of the house's architecture.

"He was married four times," Ed remarked. "Survived two plane crashes. Lived through two world wars. Drank too much. Spent the rest of his life in misery. His wife sent him for electroshock therapy. Then he blew his brains out."

Alarmed by his sudden turn towards the sinister and noticing the pain in Ed's eyes, she stopped strolling and leaned him into the wall. "Ed? What's going on?

He tried to avoid her eyes. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"I hate to ask you to do this."

"What is it?"

He stared at the ground and kicked at some imaginary object with a flip-flopped foot. "Will you talk to her?"

Now it was Olivia's turn to tread lightly. _Um, I sort of already have._

She rubbed his arm, "I will."

"I just don't want her to be miserable. Even if…even if it means she and Jeff split up. I'd rather have that than have her hate her husband and hate her life…and feel like she has to put up this façade that everything's ok."

"I know."

His eyes were pleading now, as if Sarah's uncertainties were now, somehow, theirs, "I'm sorry, I don't want to—"

"Stop." She was firm but loving. "Do you remember, the night I said I would marry you? Remember what you said to me? _Let's be family_?"

The anguish faded slightly from his face. "Yeah."

"Sarah needs help," she said softly, pulling him closer, trying to meet his gaze. "And that's what family is for. I love her. I _want_ to be there for her."

Ed sighed, "She's always been impulsive…does things without thinking. It drives me crazy. She's so smart, I just wish she thought more…rationally…or thought _at all_." He smiled slightly at the exaggeration.

Relived that he seemed to be calming down, Olivia moved closer, "How about," she played with the buttons on his polo, "We go to the hotel and call New York…and then we order dinner in? Something light? Bottle of wine? And then," she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, "I want to make you totally relax…so you forget," she kissed him again, "about anything other than right here, right now, and how much I love you."

…

Olivia had to redial three times before Sarah finally accepted the Face Time call.

"Sorry," she said with a smile, "I was drying Noey's hair. Livvie, you have the best water pressure here. I thought I was going to dent his skull with the shower head."

"Good thing, huh?" Ed muttered, "To get all the goop out of his hair."

Sarah walked back into Noah's bedroom where he was picking out a book. "It didn't take that long," she replied, "and it wasn't _that_ much!" She fixed the phone's camera on Noah who was still oblivious to what was going on. "Noey, look!"

"Mama!"

"Hi sweet boy! Daddy's here too, see?" Olivia turned the camera towards Ed.

"Hi Dada!"

"Hey bud!"

"We saw pictures from your date tonight, Noah," Olivia cooed, "They're so nice. Did you have fun?"

"I wear tie and eat sooooshi."

Ed asked if he liked the sushi and Noah nodded vigorously.

"Well, that can be your thing to do with Sarah," Ed concluded, smirking into the screen.

"What book are you reading tonight?" Olivia asked.

Noah struggled to hold up his book of choice, "This one, Mommy, this one with the puppy, the pig, and the rabbit, and, and, Dada what's the other one?"

"The owl," Ed finished.

Sarah couldn't see it, but Olivia moved her hand to Ed's thigh just then and squeezed it. With her working so much, story time had become mostly a Daddy-Noah event recently and Ed had near-encyclopedic knowledge of Noah's library. Marveling at the contrast between IAB Captain Tucker and Ed-as-Daddy never got old as far as Olivia was concerned, and she found it amusing to picture him relentlessly interrogating a rogue cop at work and then coming home to read about puppies, pigs, rabbits, and owls while sitting with Noah in the rocker.

"The owl," Noah repeated, "Sarah gonna read. You read to me tomorrow?" Noah put his face close to the camera so his entire face filled Olivia's screen.

Olivia blew him a kiss, "We're coming home tomorrow night, but you'll be asleep. Sarah will read you one more story tomorrow, and then we'll be home."

"Wait 'till you see what we bought you, bud," Ed said brightly, noticing Noah's face contort into a pout. Sure enough, the promise of presents erased it.

"Sarah, we land at ten-thirty tomorrow," Olivia informed her, "If you have to get back home, Amanda offered to take Noah."

Sarah waved off the suggestion, "No, no, I'm good. I've actually gotten a lot done while he's at school."

"Liv," Ed whispered, "I think the food's here."

"Ok," Olivia said, "We're going to have dinner now. Noah, you keep being good for Sarah!"

"I will."

"Love you, sweet boy."

"Love you, Mommy.

Ed dropped the food on a side table and rushed over to say goodbye, "Love you bud. Love you Sare. See you soon."

Sarah and Noah waved and said more "I love yous" before ending the call.

"Let's eat out on the balcony," Ed suggested, "Wanna light the candles, and I'll bring everything out?"

Olivia grabbed the heavy matchbook, emblazoned with the B & B's crest. "It's a date."

…

Sarah read Noah the book entitled _Waiting_ and then indulged the little boy's request for one more.  
"Quick one," he said slyly, as if he'd used that phrase before and knew how cute and persuasive it was.

"Let's do _Goodnight Moon_ ," she suggested. That's my favorite.

"Ok, Sarah, I get Bernie though." Noah scampered to his bed and fetched Bernie and his fleece blanket. He climbed into Sarah's lap and snuggled up to her as she read from the tattered copy which had obviously been handled multiple times.

When she finally got to "Good night noises everywhere," Noah was fast asleep, and his entire weight bore down on Sarah as she continued to rock him. She wanted to attempt to reach her phone to take a picture and send it to Jeff, but her phone was in the living room and she didn't want to mislead her husband into thinking she was ready for children. In fact, taking care of Noah had assured her she was most definitely not prepared for motherhood. She thought about Olivia's high-stress, almost 24-7 job, and wondered how she'd managed as a single mother. Sarah wasn't even really working this week, she was tackling some projects from home, and Noah went to day care for half the day. Even so, she was still physically exhausted from chasing him around and mentally worn out from worrying every second that she was taking good enough care of him. She cautiously smiled to herself as she imagined her father's reaction to a Noah-related misstep.

 _It's not Olivia I'm concerned about; if Dad thinks I did something wrong he'll kill me._

Congratulating herself for dressing him in his pajamas before he fell asleep (two nights she forgot and had to change him out of his regular clothes as he snoozed), she gently placed him in his bed and tucked his comforter around him. She laid Bernie and the favorite fleece parallel to his body, made sure the night light was plugged in, and turned off the overhead light.

Back in the kitchen, she inspected their wine rack and chose a Chardonnay.

 _Just one glass to unwind_ , she told herself. _Just one glass._

….

Ed and Olivia uncorked a second bottle of wine and made their way to the large chaise lounges on the Bed and Breakfast's private beach. Ed spread out on one, and Olivia went to take another beside him, but he objected.

"Hey," He said in a sharp, clipped tongue, "Benson, over here."

With mock chagrin, she smiled at him. _I should've known better_.

"Cheers."

"Shhhh," she warned as they lightly touched glasses, "We're supposed to have plastic only out here."

He brushed off the concern. "We're the police."

"We're a little far from our jurisdiction."

"It's late. There's nobody around."

Olivia nestled more deeply into Ed's side, "I'm surprised you wanted to come down here," she said, her voice partially muffled by his chest.

"It's our last night. I wanted to be here with you and the waves and the breeze one last time."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"That's not a fair question."

Olivia let him off the hook. "I'll make it easy. I like us best at home in New York."

Ed kissed the side of her head. "My thoughts exactly."

Before Ed came along, Olivia only sporadically travelled, and, although she enjoyed seeing new places and experiencing new things with him, she, like Ed, was a city person at heart. This was one of the reasons it was taking to long for them to find a larger place. New York real estate prices were astronomical, but neither one of them wanted to compromise. They were not leaving Manhattan, and they didn't want to drift too far away from their current location.

"And of course, I can't wait to see Noah," Olivia murmured.

"I miss him." Ed sounded hesitant.

"Why are you saying it like that?"

For the second time that day, Ed felt awkward, detached, and a little nervous in her presence. They were usually so emotionally in sync, and now he had to explain his feelings, something he preferred not to do. It was easier when they were on the same page. "Liv, I know we've probably beaten this subject to death…but, lately, Noah's been so clingy with me…I just want to make sure, you're…not hurt by that."

Olivia hesitated, gathering her thoughts. "I'm not hurt…but I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me sometimes. But, it's _my_ guilt, really, and I felt guilty about not being there for him before…us." She saw her answer wasn't quite satisfying him and she slinked up his torso so she could kiss him on the lips. "You have never hurt me. And you've never hurt Noah. Thanks to you, he has _two_ parents who love him, and I think I read somewhere it's normal for kids to be partial to one parent at certain times."

Ed let out a long breath. "I'm glad to hear you say that."

"And, speaking of our kids, I'll try and talk to Sarah before she leaves. I know that's bothering you."

"Yeah, well," Again, Ed was treading in uncomfortable territory, "There's another part to that."

"Tell me." Olivia abandoned her glass in the sand and used the hand that wasn't tucked under her body to caress Ed's chest.

He took a deep breath. "Marital problems, ya know? I don't like to think about it."

Perhaps thanks to the hours spent in Lindstrom's office, Olivia's reply was quick and decisive, "Her problems are not ours."

"Yeah, I know."

"And they won't somehow become ours just because we're discussing it. She's your _daughter_ , Ed. You have a right to be worried about her. And I'm your wife. You're _supposed_ to talk to me about things like this. I want you to."

He refilled his glass, spilling a little on the chaise, and drank, eyes closed, breathing deeply. Olivia's head rose and fell with each inhale and exhale. Melancholy Ed Tucker was someone who did not show up very often, but when he did make an appearance, it was challenging to wrestle him from the funk.

"Listen," she commanded in the voice she usually reserved for victims, "I will talk to her. Thursday morning, I'll take her to breakfast and then drop her at Penn Station. You and Noah can sleep late."

"Ok."

"Hey," she nudged his chin with a knuckle, "I love you."

"You're just trying to get me to smile," he whined, "But I love you, too.

 _Okaaaayyy, Mr. Difficult._

"I don't have to tell you I love you in order to get you to smile," she taunted him.

"Really," he deadpanned, trying but failing to be aloof. "Whaddya got?"

She ran her fingers as far down his leg as she could reach and then back up to his neck, then his face, tracing the outline of his cheekbones. "What if I told you how handsome you are?"

"You're gonna have to do better than that."

She began kissing his neck and bit a little at his earlobe. She pulled away, looking for a reaction. Still, his lips remained pursed; however, she caught an amused glint in his eyes. Olivia took his glass and set it in the sand next to hers. "What if…I told you to make love to me right here?"

That elicited an outburst of boisterous laughter. "Ten minutes ago you were worried about our _glasses_ making too much noise." He put one arm around her waist and clasped the back of her head with the other hand, "Come here."

Olivia, for as independent and strong as she was, relished Tucker taking control. She loved the feel of his firm arms around her body, clutching her tightly, promising security and protection.

He kissed her deeply, tasting the wine and the chocolate-dipped strawberries they'd shared as dessert. Ed slowed down, savoring the feel of her tongue on his, reaching one hand just inside her waistband, feeling her stiffen ever so slightly, probably cushioning the goosebumps his hand on her bare skin induced…until it was absolutely necessary for him to stop.

"Let's take this inside, Liv," he gasped.

Olivia was grateful for the gracious release from her earlier challenge, "Whatever you want, Captain."

They hustled inside to enjoy one last night in the oceanfront suite, leaving the half-empty wine bottles and glasses in the sand for tomorrow morning's cabana boys.

…

See ya tomorrow for #SVUSeasonFinale Tweeting! #Tuckson


	6. Chapter 6

_Paris Trilogy occupied my time, so sorry for the gap in updating this one. In the previous chapter, Ed and Olivia's honeymoon came to a close and Ed worried about Sarah's marriage. Enjoy the Tuckson sweetness!_

 **Home Again**

Ed screwed up his face as he peered at the Iphone screen. Noah and Sarah were sitting across from one another in the kitchen, a mound of Oreos between them. Black crumbs littered the countertop. "What exactly are you doing?" He asked critically.

"Oreo math," Sarah replied as if he'd asked the dumbest question ever posed. "Watch."

Olivia and Ed looked on as Sarah slid a cookie stack towards Noah and asked him to count. He quickly and easily rattled off the numbers.

"Onetwothreefourfivesix. SIX, Sarah!"

"Excelente!" She cried. "We're also learning Spanish," she added for Ed and Olivia's benefit and then turned back to Noah, "Now, if I take four away, how many are left?" Noah frowned as Sarah retracted the four cookies, but he counted obediently.

"Two," he reported less enthusiastically.

Sarah leaned forward, "In order for you to eat those two cookies, you tell me, No. I gave you six, I _sub-trac-ted_ , four. _Sub-tract_ means _minus_. So, six _minus_ four _equals_ …."

Noah concentrated hard. His eyes toggled back and forth between his pile and Sarah's pile before he triumphantly repeated, "TWO!"

"Muy Bueno!" She exclaimed, "You may eat the cookies!"

Noah munched away, oblivious to the compliments from his parents streaming in from the Key West airport bar.

"And, how many cookies has he eaten since we've been gone?" Ed inquired.

Sarah shrugged, "I haven't kept count. But, you should be grateful…he mastered addition too easily so I had to challenge him with subtracting. He's consumed significantly less since then."

Olivia conceded her point, but Ed wasn't finished interrogating, "Lemme put it another way. How many packages of cookies have you _bought_ since we left?"

"One."

"You're lying."

Sarah frowned, "Ok, two…but Noah's not the only one eating them! I have a sweet tooth, ya know! Instead of wine at night I have cookies when I'm on mommy duty."

Ed rolled his eyes.

"You've done a great job, Sarah," Olivia complimented. "I can't tell you how much we appreciate it."

Sarah beamed. "I'd offer to stay and be the nanny, but my boss told me I'm not allowed to leave again. Apparently they cannot function without me."

"We'll be home late," Ed told her, "Probably midnight-ish."

"And I'll take you to the train in the morning," Olivia said.

"It doesn't have to be first thing," Sarah said, "I took the whole week off."

"Ed," Olivia whispered, "We're boarding soon."

"Alright, Sare, we're off. See you later."

Noah said goodbye and blew kisses. Ed and Olivia ended the call, swilled the rest of their drinks, and headed for the gate.

…..

As the plane ascended and the lights dimmed, Ed startled Olivia with a sudden and very aggressive kiss. He raised the armrest separating their two first class seats to get closer and her face contorted with laughter as he pressed his body against hers.

" _Ed_."

He responded only by kissing her harder.

Ed returned to the parameters of his assigned seat after the brief burst of passion, but he maintained physical contact, lightly stroking the top of Olivia's hand with his fingertips.

After a few minutes of silence, he muttered, "Every once in a while I just _have_ to do that."

"I was wondering if you forgot we were on a plane and not at home."

"I'm very lucid."

She leaned her Ed on his shoulder, "So, tomorrow we go back to normal."

"Not exactly, no work for a couple days."

"I'm on duty this weekend."

"If it's not too cold, I'm going to take the training wheels off Noah's bike and see what happens."

Olivia, though skeptical about Noah's ability to ride a two-wheeler, smiled as she imagined Ed running alongside the teetering bike. "That sounds…brave."

"Yeah," Ed chortled, "I'll make sure I'm hydrated and stretched out. With Brooke, she caught on quickly but she would freak out and stop suddenly. I fell _over_ her. She kept doing that until I finally quit running alongside her, then she was fine. Sarah, well, she just took off, out of control, and crashed when she slowed down."

"Did she cry?"

"That's the weird thing. No. She would just jump up and ask me to get her started again. Like it was a carnival ride and not transportation."

Olivia recalled Noah's confidence with the sled and with the bike on training wheels and predicted his two-wheeler style would fall in the middle of Ed's descriptions of Brooke and Sarah. Then, overcome with gratitude for Ed's easy assumption of fatherly duties, she kissed him just as he had done earlier.

"Whoa," he said, feigning surprise, "What was _that_ for?"

"For being you."

"Liv, if this is some type of reward for teaching Noah to ride a bike, I just want you to know…first, it's not necessary, and second, if you _feel_ it's necessary, there are many things I plan to teach him in the future…so," he leered, "be prepared. You're setting kind of a lofty precedent here."

"Don't you worry," she sassed.

"I'm not. Just letting you know."

"I consider myself warned."

…..

"Liv, you gotta quiet down."

" _Then_ ," she gasped, "you have to—" She couldn't finish. Instead she swiped a pillow and pressed it to her face.

This only made Ed more intent on making her scream with pleasure. He broke into a satisfied smile as he amped up the intensity and teased her most erogenous places. She clutched the pillow even tighter as her body convulsed.

Ed draped himself on top of her and slowly peeled the pillow away, revealing her sweat and makeup-smeared face. "You ok?"

"I think so," she replied breathlessly.

"I'm sure you woke somebody."

"You share some of the blame."

Ed looked at her with a cocky, lopsided smile, "Oh yeah?"

"But you knew that already."

He shrugged. "Maybe." Olivia tried to sit up, but Ed led more of his weight rest upon her. "I'm comfortable. Stay here."

"I need a drink."

Ed reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her glass of water. "Here," he offered it to her.

She took an awkward sip, trying to not spill. "Do you want some?"

"No." He was kissing her again.

"Where are you getting this energy?" Olivia thought for sure they would return home and crash, but once they said goodnight to Sarah and checked on a snoozing Noah, Ed escorted her to the bedroom and made it immediately clear that he had other ideas.

"You're gorgeous. It comes naturally." He replied matter-of-factly. Ed took the glass from her and put it back on the table. He grinned slyly as he dropped the pillow next to her head. "Here, you may need it again."

Olivia ran her fingers through his hair as he moved his lips farther and farther down her midsection.

….

The clock read seven a.m. when Olivia woke up, stunned she hadn't slept longer. She slid out from under Ed's arm and put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, opening the bureau drawers slowly, trying not to make noise. Ed spent most of the early morning hours enjoying her with an addict's fervor, and it was almost three o'clock before he finally succumbed to sleep.

She tiptoed to the bathroom and washed her face. Her reflection in the mirror was not indicative of someone who'd been up half the night with her amorous husband.

Noah was awake and still cuddled with Bernie and his fleece blanket, but when he saw his mother, he shot up, arms out, exclaiming, "Mommy!"

"Hi sweet boy! I missed you!"

"I missed you!"

"Did you have a fun time with Sarah?"

Noah smiled and nodded vigorously. He rattled off a list of what they did together—movies, puzzles, math, learning Spanish, junk food, and dinner dates. "And every night," he added, "Sarah rock me and read and tuck me in!"

"That's so _nice_! Sarah took good care of you."

"Uh-huh. Where's Daddy?"

"Sleeping."

"Where's Sarah?"

"Let's get some breakfast and see if she's up."

"I waked her up when you were on your honeyboon."

"Well, show me how you wake her up."

Olivia followed Noah into the main living area. He shouted, "Wake up time, Sarah!"

She was already up and on her phone, but when she heard Noah she pretended to be asleep and snored loudly.

Noah shook her. "Sarah. Wake up. Mommy's here. You can go home now."

She snored even louder.

" _Sar-ah!"_ Noah gently patted her head.

She snorted and moved her head back and forth. "Huh? Huh? Where am I?"

"You here, Sarah!" Noah giggled.

"Oh! Hi Noey! Is it lunchtime?"

More giggles. "No. Coffee time."

Sarah let him drag her to the kitchen where Olivia was making coffee and breakfast for Noah.

"Hi, Livvieeee," Sarah purred and wrapped her stepmother in a gentle hug.

Olivia was mildly taken aback. By now, Sarah had hugged her too many times to count, but each time the embrace was quick and firm, almost a tackle, as if the young woman was trying to knock Olivia into understanding how much she was loved. This was different. Sarah nestled her head in the crook of Olivia's neck, Noah-style, and held her close for much longer than the customary two-three seconds.

"Hey, Sare," Olivia said softly, simultaneously patting her back and her messy blonde bun atop her head. "It's good to see you too!"

"I'm exhausted," Sarah admitted, but not in a tone that made Olivia feel guilty. "I don't know how you do this."

"What do you mean?"

Sarah took a mug from the cabinet and poured coffee. She took a seat in a bar chair. "I can handle running around after a kid and playing with him and all that stuff, but how do you not constantly worry?"

"What were you worried about?"

Sarah ticked off a list of all things which had caused her anxiety while Ed and Olivia were away, "Let's see, where do I begin? Ok, leaving him at day care. That is _so scary_. Like, you trust those people? Ugh. Then, eating. What if he choked or had an allergic reaction or got food poisoning? And at night, I must've checked on him every hour. What if someone came in and _took_ him?"

Olivia held back a laugh, not wanting to diminish the weight of Sarah's concerns. She answered breezily, "Well, I think all parents worry about that at first, I did, but then you realize you have to let go a little bit or you'll go insane."

Sarah nodded slowly, "Yeah, but…day care is the absolute worst."

"You had it easy. The first few times he cried when I left. Try leaving him _then_!"

She covered her face, "Oh gawwwwwwd."

"No wonder you're exhausted," Olivia mused, "If you constantly were getting up at night."

"Well, two nights we slept in the fort in his room, so that was better."

Noah, animated and waving his arms all around, added, "We build a fort, mommy! Sarah builded it and we sleep under the sheet!"

"Yes, and we read the books with the flashlight and talked about our days, right Noey?"

"Right!"

Sarah dumped a heaping spoonful of sugar in her coffee, "So, my drama aside, we had an awesome week. How was _yours_?" She asked mischievously, returning to her typical, puckish self.

"It was great. Key West, it's so laid back, so unlike here." Olivia grabbed her phone and slid it to Sarah, "Take a look at the pictures. We went snorkeling, ate too much seafood…probably had one too many beach drinks. The B and B we stayed in was so cute, I'm sure there are pictures of the room on the phone."

"Are the room pictures G rated?"

Olivia blushed, "Of course." Sarah swiped through the photos and Olivia added, "We also met some fun people."

"Dad hung out with strangers?"

"He did. Took a few drinks, but he did."

Sarah looked shocked, "He's always so…territorial…like," she tried to imitate Ed's voice, "this is my family, don't talk to us, leave us alone."

"There was one couple, from Maine, they were really nice. We met them on the first day and then ran into them a couple more times. Your dad entertained them with cop stories."

"Oh gawwwwd," Sarah gasped, obviously familiar with her father's catalogue of police tales, "at least he's in hostage negotiation now. IAB stories were…so… _yawn_." She widened her eyes, "He didn't tell them about _arresting_ you, did he?"

"No," Olivia responded with a silly smile, "He did not."

He also didn't talk about negotiating with Utley or being framed as a sex trafficker, but Sarah, wisely chose not to bring up those subjects.

"He did not do what?" Ed appeared just then, shirtless, and wearing sweatpants.

"Daddy!" Noah nearly flung himself out of the high chair.

Ed went over and picked him up, "Hey, bud!" He held him at arm's length, "You look good. No noticeable injuries." He blew a strawberry on Noah's exposed belly, "You seem well-fed. Sarah musta done a good job looking after you!"

"Oh, Daddy, _stoppppp_."

"Sarah gived me Oreos."

"I know."

"I do math. Two plus two plus two plus two!"

"Equals?"

"THREE!"

Sarah shook her head with mock shame, "He's much better with the cookies in front of him."

Olivia set a mug on the counter for Ed who, after a few more snuggles, replaced Noah in the high chair.

"Ed, just out of curiosity, why aren't you wearing a shirt?" He did not normally parade around the apartment shirtless, even when they were alone.

"Couldn't find one."

"You couldn't find _one_ t-shirt?"

"No. They're all in the laundry, and I'm pretty sure you may be wearing my last clean one…but that's ok."

Olivia looked down sheepishly at the gray pocket tee which was, indeed, his. "We'll do laundry today."

"I did Noey's," Sarah said proudly, "I probably changed his outfits too many times and I felt bad."

"Why?" Ed asked.

Sarah was eager to explain, "Well, he was grubby after day care or after we went out during the day, we… _dressed for dinner_. And his clothes are so cute."

"The sushi date was adorable," Olivia said.

"Oh, that was an amazing night. After dinner we came back and had a dance party. Brooke even danced with us." Sarah produced her phone and found the video. "See?"

All four of them chuckled at Brooke, Sarah, and Noah contorting their bodies to the hip-hop music, none of them particularly skilled at moving to the rhythm.

"I'm sure the people living below us were thrilled," Ed remarked dryly.

Sarah scoffed, "Dad will you lighten up? _Look_ at us, we're having so much fun!"

Ed's face softened and Olivia rubbed his back, implicitly agreeing with Sarah. After all, he wasn't really worried about the neighbors and he didn't care, much, that Noah had been eating junk food, staying up late, and otherwise ridiculously spoiled while they were away. He relaxed, leaned into Olivia's caresses, and allowed himself to soak up the bliss even though, in the back of his mind, Sarah's personal life troubled him.

Sarah played a few more videos and flipped through the pictures she'd taken. They finished their coffee and batted around the idea of going out to breakfast before deciding against it.

"Sare, do you want to get cleaned up before I start laundry?" Ed asked, trying to simultaneously be considerate and prod her to leave.

"Um, I'm not leaving today. I'm gonna stay through the weekend with Brooke, so I'll head over there soon."

Ed shot Olivia an alarmed glance.

"Well, that's actually perfect," Olivia said brightly, "Then I can take you two out for a thank-you dinner today or tomorrow."

Sarah had no idea about Olivia's ulterior motive, and she gleefully accepted the invitation. "Great idea, Livvie! Girls only. Fantastic. I'll text Brooke…she'll probably want tomorrow since it's Friday."

Ed and Olivia plopped Noah among his toys and went about unpacking. Sarah changed clothes and gathered her things. She declined Olivia's offer to drive her the short distance to Brooke's apartment.

"Goodbye, my love," Sarah sing-songed to Noah before smothering him in kisses. "You're a doll."

"Bye Sarah. You a doll, too!"

"Omigod, omigod, omigod," Sarah gushed, "This dude…just, _gahhhh_!"

Noah, unaware of his charm, wiggled free of Sarah's grasp and busily returned to his trucks and trains.

…

Sarah was correct in her assumption that Brooke preferred a Friday dinner date, and she, Olivia, and Sarah occupied a familiar table at Quinn's just as the after-work crowd began trickling in. Brooke had had a particularly trying week at the middle school and ordered a Jameson's to go along with her beer. Sarah followed suit.

"You hate beer," Brooke reminded her.

"Ah," Sarah batted her hand dismissively, "It was just easier to copy you. Alcohol is alcohol."

"Well, ok, then," Brooke ignored Sarah's capriciousness and raised her glass before downing half of the whiskey. "Ahhh, that's better. This job is going to kill me."

"You need a new one," Sarah said as if it were the most obvious statement in the world.

Olivia agreed. Brooke routinely told stories of the perils of teaching in the South Bronx—illiteracy, gangs, drugs, broken families, and the general aura of despair. Until now, she'd resisted her own urges and her family's calls to change schools, but she was seriously considering looking elsewhere. Even though Noah was a couple years from kindergarten, Olivia had been scoping out neighborhood schools. "Brooke, there are at least three public schools in our neighborhood that are highly rated. You really should start sending your resume. Just to get feelers out."

She finished the shot and chased it with a sip of IPA. "I know, I know, Suh—" Brooke caught herself before she finished saying "Sonny," but Sarah picked up on it before her sister could backtrack.

"BUSTED!" She was so loud several patrons glanced in their direction. "Sis, you can no longer deny it. You and Sonny are Not. Just. Friends."

Brooke looked helpless and maybe a little disappointed that her fun little secret was no longer a secret. Olivia grinned cryptically, for she caught Sonny revealing a little too much after Valentine's Day. However, she had kept that to herself.

"We really are not that serious," Brooke insisted.

Sarah pried for more details, "I thought we all thought he had a thing for that detective. Livvie, what's her name?"

"Amanda."

Brooke shook her head, "They're just friends."

Olivia started to say something, but Sarah beat her to the punch. "He thinks they're just friends, but what does _she_ think?"

"Like I said, we're not serious. We're really just, kind of, going out, seeing where this goes. He doesn't lie—if he's helping her with Jesse or something, he tells me."

"I don't like this," Sarah said bluntly. Olivia observed and listened as Sarah warned Brooke about what she felt was an impending love triangle. "I bet," Sarah predicted, "This Amanda person thinks there is more to their relationship than just friends."

Olivia hated to admit it, and she stayed silent on the matter, but she believed Sarah was probably right. Carisi was so sweet and so family-oriented, it was not a stretch to see Rollins perceive his kindness as something other than pure friendship. She didn't want Brooke to get hurt, but she also didn't want her to slam on the brakes. Olivia held Carisi in high regard, and Brooke deserved someone like him in her life.

"Just take it one step at a time," Olivia advised, "And, keep the lines of communication open. Carisi's a good guy."

"Right," Sarah said, "And we got your back, sis."

Olivia bit her lip and briefly thought about the discord Sarah's predicted love triangle could potentially create at the precinct. She was suddenly anxious to talk to Ed who, unknowingly, was going to get more information than he'd bargained for.

"Olivia," Brooke asked, wanting to divert the conversation away from her life, "What are the boys doing tonight?"

"Your Dad's taking Noah to a movie and then dinner…I don't know where."

"Awww," Brooke cooed. "Noah missed Dad. Whenever I saw him while you were gone he was always Dada this and Daddy that."

"But he talked about you, too, Livvie," Sarah interjected as if Brooke's recollection would injure Olivia.

"Jesus, Sarah, of course he missed _both of them_. But I'm just saying, when you had him all dressed up, he would talk about Dad wearing a tie and Dad wearing black shoes…that kind of stuff."

Olivia tempered the mild argument, "You know, I thought I would have a hard time with Noah bonding with your Dad, but I truly haven't."

"Not at all?" Brooke questioned, "It seems like…Noah is always glued to Dad."

"Lately he has been…but, if that's my _worst_ problem? That Noah loves his Dad? I think I'll take that." Olivia and Lindstrom hashed out this issue over several sessions, each time Olivia felt like he was belaboring the point when she saw it as a nonissue. Of course, there were occasional pangs of jealousy when Noah cried out for Ed when he was hurt or when he ran to Daddy first, but Lindstrom explained a preference for one parent over another was completely normal. And Noah wasn't ignoring Olivia, he simply had two parents he adored. "And…of course…your Dad gives him anything he wants, so…"

"That'll do it!" Sarah finished for her.

"So, what are you two doing this weekend?" Olivia asked.

Brooke answered first, "Well, this was kind of _unexpected_ , so, not much. I have a lot of work to do."

Sarah sulked, "We can at least go see a show or something. My treat? I _miss_ New York."

"Have you talked to Jeff about moving?"

Olivia, unaware that moving was an option for Sarah and Jeff, widened her eyes. "You're thinking about relocating?"

Sarah played with her napkin. "I actually got an offer from a firm downtown," she said in a voice not much higher than a whisper.

"I didn't know you even interviewed!" Brooke exclaimed.

"I sent some resumes out, just to see…and did a video interview. It's a really good offer, way more than I make now."

"Sarah," Olivia said, "That's…great…right?"

Sarah's eyes were downcast as she replied, "Jeff will never leave Philadelphia. His job…he loves it so much. He loves the city too much. Maybe, if I take this job, I'll live here during the week and commute back to Philly on the weekends."

"Sarah, that's unrealistic," Brooke admonished her.

"Lots of people do it," Sarah retorted.

"Do you think that would work for you two?" Olivia asked, trying to be diplomatic. She couldn't fathom living apart from Ed.

Sarah shrugged. "I don't know if _we_ work."

Brooke and Olivia shot each other alarmed glances. Brooke grabbed her sister's hand. "Sarah, what is going on? Does Jeff even know you got this job offer? Or that you were even looking?"

Sarah rubbed her temples and took a deep breath. "We're pretty much living separate lives."

" _Sarah_ ," Olivia sighed consolingly.

"When he's not working, he's out with his buddies, or he has them over at the house. He's acting more like a single guy now than he did when we were dating."

"Have you talked to him about it?" Brooke asked.

"Yes," Sarah snapped, "I talk to him about it all the fucking time. And he's just so, so, _flippant_ …Before he left for Clearwater, I was like, do you even want to be married anymore, and he just looked at me like he wanted to say no. He didn't answer. He just left. Maybe he won't come back."

"He'll come back," Olivia assured her, "But when he does, you really should sit down and have a serious conversation. A tough one. But, you have to figure out what you want. Do _you_ want to be married?"

"I…I…" Sarah stammered, "I guess…if it's like this? Then, no. No, I don't."

"Have you thought about marriage counseling?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah," Olivia agreed, "One way or another, therapy can help."

Sarah frowned. "Jeff won't go to a _shrink."_

"Not a shrink, a counselor."

"Same thing. Uh-uh. He's too proud to do that. He'd rather just ignore me for the rest of his life."

"At least suggest it," Brooke urged.

"Livvie, would you ask Dad to see someone?"

Olivia swallowed. "If there was something so off that we needed to go, I would ask. And I like to think he would agree to go. Admitting you need help is difficult. It was difficult for me at first, but without it, I would have, well, I don't like to think about what would have happened. I definitely don't think I would be here, I probably wouldn't have Noah, I wouldn't have your Dad."

"I don't know," Sarah griped, "Maybe _I_ just need to see someone."

"Maybe," Olivia replied, "But the marriage is yours _and_ his."

Sarah looked around. "I need another drink."

"Last one, sis," Brooke warned, "Then we'll go home and see what tickets are available for tomorrow."

"Let's go see something funny," Sarah suggested, "I can't handle any more drama in my life right now."

….

A cold rain began falling just as Olivia approached their building, and she shook the raindrops from her coat before entering the apartment. She nearly tripped over Ed's and Noah's shoes which apparently had been kicked off haphazardly when they returned from their night out. She added her boots to the pile.

"Hello?" She called.

"Hey!" Ed's voice was coming from the bathroom where he was wrapping a freshly-bathed Noah in a towel.

Olivia kissed both of them. "Hello, my loves!"

Ed studied her, trying to determine how many drinks she'd had. "Have a good time?"

"Not exactly. How about you two?"

Ed raised his eyebrows, but he knew he would have to wait for further explanation.

"We saw Minions!" Noah exclaimed.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup. And we had popcorn, and, and," Noah looked to Ed for help.

"Whoppers."

"Whoppers!"

Olivia pulled his pajama top over his head and threaded his arms through the sleeves. "And where did Daddy take you for dinner?"

"Mamasita!"

"Did you speak Spanish?"

"I tell Rosa hola and adios."

"She says hola to mi esposo, as well," Ed relayed the message from their regular server at the Mexican restaurant.

"Noah, go pick out two books for tonight sweet boy." While he was inspecting the bookshelves, Olivia turned her attention to Ed and stroked his head lovingly, "Did you enjoy the Minions movie?" She asked, expecting a complaint.

"It wasn't that bad, surprisingly enough."

Noah handed Olivia his two choices and she sat with him in the rocking chair. Ed kissed Noah. "Night, bud. Love you."

"Love you too, Daddy! We ride bikes tomorrow?"

"If it's not too cold, pal."

"K."

"Liv, you want tea or anything?"

"No thanks," she smiled up at him sweetly, "I'll be out in a bit."

…..

"Ok," Olivia said as she sat next to Ed on the couch. She crossed her legs and faced him, "Which daughter would you like to start with?"

He grumbled, "Oh man, _both_ of them?"

Olivia nodded, "Brooke, well, it's not that big of a deal. Apparently…she's seeing Carisi."

" _What_?" Ed gasped, screwing up his face, "When did that happen?"

"I think they started hanging out around Christmas. She says it's not serious."

"Isn't he dating Rollins?"

"That's the thing," Olivia said hesitantly, "Carisi says they're just good friends. Sarah, and I, think Rollins may have the wrong idea about what's going on."

"Does Rollins know he's with Brooke?"

"I didn't ask."

" _Lieutenant_."

She grinned, "I know, I know, I've been on vacation too long. I'm off my game." The semi-ashamed expression on Olivia's face was adorable to Ed, and he couldn't help but take a quick break from the chatter to kiss her.

"Alright, so, am I supposed to know about this, uh, sort of boyfriend?"

"I think so."

"Ok. Now…Sarah's mess?"

"A mess indeed," Olivia said regretfully, not particularly excited to tell Ed about Sarah's crumbling marriage. She explained what was going on—Jeff's regression into the single life, Sarah's desire to return to New York, and their ugly conversation prior to Jeff leaving for the Phillies spring training camp.

"Great. Divorce. After what? Four months?"

Olivia patted his leg, "Hold on. They may stay together. I get the feeling they don't communicate well, or at all really."

"They seemed fine—at the beach and over the holidays."

"It's easy when things are good. Not so easy when there's something wrong."

Ed stared intently at Olivia, a pained expression on his face. At first, she assumed he was agonizing over his daughter's misery, but then he said, "When things are good…you said it like good times don't last. Why can't a marriage be good all the time?"

Olivia understood his implicit concerns, "Because when you're twenty-four you don't always know what you want. And Sarah and Jeff seem to want different things."

Ed wasn't sure what to say. He didn't like feeling helpless, but there was really nothing he could do. If Sarah's marriage was over, it was over. "I guess I'd rather have her be happy than stuck in a miserable marriage for the rest of her life. At least they don't have kids."

"Brooke and I did suggest they see a marriage counselor, but Sarah doesn't think Jeff will go."

"Then, there's her answer right there. If he doesn't want to try to save it…it's over."

Olivia touched his face, "If we needed it, you would see someone?"

He looked at her as if he were shocked she felt the need to even ask, "Liv, I would do anything for us. I don't plan on going off the rails so badly that we need counseling, but I wouldn't think twice about it if that's what was necessary."

She leaned in for a kiss and when she pulled away she stayed nestled against his chest. "I'm glad to hear you say that."

"But I really hope it never has to happen," Ed emphasized, "Really. Hope."

"I know," Olivia said softly, "But we talk, we communicate, I think we'll be just fine."

"You know what else we do well?" Ed asked flirtatiously.

Olivia acted clueless, "What's that?"

"I'd rather show you." Ed stood up and took Olivia's hands. "Come on."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	7. Chapter 7

_Just a reminder that this story is about a year ahead of time. This particular chapter skips forward a little from the previous one—it's April, 2017. Noah is now well into his third year; Tuckson has been married four months, the OCs are a little restless in their personal and private lives…Time for more family interactions!_

 **Little Talks**

Noah gripped a crayon and concentrated intently on the inside cover of the store-bought birthday card. Olivia already helped him outline stick figures, and he carefully added details to his and Brooke's faces and clothing. Olivia lightly ran her fingers through his hair as he worked, and he wiggled his head, annoyed at the attention.

"Sorry, baby," she apologized. "Tomorrow we'll go pick out a present for Brookey. What should we get her?"

"Brookey likes pizza."

Olivia chuckled, "I know, sweet boy, and we'll take her out for pizza. But we should buy her a present, you know, like you get on your birthday."

"The police badge?"

"Maybe something like that—a bracelet or a necklace?"

Noah's eyes did not depart from the card as he gave his nonchalant response, "I get Brookey a bracelet. Like this one?" Noah raised his left arm. On his wrist was a silver cuff, almost identical to the one Ed wore daily; Noah's was engraved with his name and on the inside was another inscription:

 _From Daddy With Love December 31, 2016_

"We could do that. Good idea. We'll go after lunch, ok?"

"We eat with Brookey?"

"No, Daddy's having lunch with her and Sarah. We'll see them later at the street fair." Olivia sat back and drank what was left of her lukewarm coffee. She was thrilled to have a lazy morning after what had been an ugly first week of the Terrence Reynolds trial. Plea negotiations with Campesi and Donlan had broken down, and the two of them were taking their chances in court on the manslaughter charges. Olivia expected to be called as a witness for the defense which meant she would face cross-examination by Barba and, perhaps, a repeat of what happened in front of the grand jury.

"Liv, have you seen my jacket?" Ed came out of the bedroom clad in jeans and a navy long-sleeved t-shirt. He looked deliciously casual. He noticed her glance at the coat rack. "I looked in all the _obvious_ places," he said with mock scorn before coming over to the couch and kissing her.

"Your hair's still wet," she observed, thinking about the cool early afternoon temperature.

"It'll dry."

"I took the lighter coats to the cleaners last week. It's in our closet in plastic."

He noticed Noah's artwork. "Whatcha workin' on, bud?"

"Brookey's birdday card."

"Wow, she's gonna love it. Good colors."

"I wear blue, Brookey wears yellow."

"Yellow's her favorite?"  
"Uh-huh. Mommy said we can get her pizza and a bracelet too."

Ed pinched Olivia's cheek, "Whatever Mommy says." Ed disappeared and returned wearing the freshly cleaned field jacket. "I'm off. See you two in about an hour or so?"

"Ok. Let me know when you're finishing lunch and we'll head down there."

Ed gave them both goodbye kisses. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

"Love you, Daddy! See ya later!"

…

Brooke and Sarah were late, but Ed didn't mind. He was one of the first people at the pub, so he parked himself at the mahogany bar, ordered a bourbon, and absent-mindedly watched ESPN on the flat screen television. This was his off weekend; unless something terrible happened, he was not being called in to work. Comfortable with the idleness, he downed the first drink quickly and ordered another.

His blonde daughters showed up, tardy by twenty minutes, and practically tackled their father from behind.

Sarah greeted him with her usual, "Hi, Daddy!" She kissed his cheek and then wiped the spot with her thumb, "Whoops, got some lip gloss on ya."

Tucker looked helplessly at the bartender as Sarah and Brooke took the stools on either side of him.

"You get all moved in?" he grumbled.

"Yes," Sarah replied breathlessly, "Um, sir, I'll have a Jack and Diet Coke."

Brooke peered over at her, "Jack and Coke? You're the most inconsistent drinker I know."

"Hey," Sarah shrugged, "New job, new life, new libations. Maybe you should order something different…since _you're_ cutting the cord with that freaking _Lean on Me_ school."

Ed's mind was already spinning. It was only a week ago that Sarah broke the news to him not only about her new job but also that she was moving back to New York, to the extra room in his/Brooke's apartment, and temporarily separating from Jeff. Her new job was also too good to pass up, so she accepted the offer and packed her bags.

Sarah's mess of a personal life bothered Ed, but she seemed genuinely happy to be back in the city. The comment about Brooke changing jobs made him smile, "So you're finally done with it, huh, Brookey?"

Ed's oldest daughter sipped her beer contemplatively, almost ruefully, "Yeah, I can't do it anymore. It's been five years. If I don't leave, I'll burn out."

"Interviews?"

"Two weeks. After spring break. One at P.S. 35 and the other at a private school."

"Your boss know yet?"

"I told her last week, had a heart-to-heart. I even _cried_ —"

Sarah interrupted, "She musta understood. I mean, come _on_. How many times did you have to be escorted to the subway after a fight or something in the neighborhood?"

Brooke rolled her eyes at her sister. It wasn't that bad. At least, not all the time, but trying to improve the skills of students three and four grade levels behind was wearing on her. That, coupled with the neighborhood violence and drugs, made it seem like she'd been there twenty years instead of only five.

"As I was saying," Brooke cleared her throat dramatically and continued, "she was very understanding and even wrote me a letter of recommendation. So…I feel good. Better."

"Great," Ed said and focused his attention back on Sarah, "And when do you start this new gig?"

"Monday."

"And what exactly are you doing?"

"I'm in their international tax division—working with companies to make sure they're compliant but also maximizing revenue…not sure which specific team I'm on yet, but, you know, I speak Spanish, so…"

Ed took another sip, "Sounds exciting," he lied. Brooke shot him kind of a sideways simper, sharing his sentiments. "And what's going on with Jeff?"

Sarah grimaced. "I told him to take a month to decide what he wants. But, I live in New York now. I mean, lookit what they offered me—almost twice the salary, stock options, I couldn't say no. I think," she took a deep breath, finished her drink, and signaled for another, "it's over."

"Did you ask him about counseling?" Brooke asked hopefully.

"Yes. He did not take that suggestion well."

Ed faced Sarah, "You do what you feel is right, Sare."

Sarah leaned into him, "Daddy, I love you."

"I love you, too. And I want you to be happy, so…if it's over, it's over."

"I feel like I'm disappointing everyone," she whined.

"Don't do that. I'm _proud_ of you. You're beautiful, smart, funny, generous…you're a _good person_ , sweetheart."

"But a terrible wife."

Brooke almost spit out her drink as she guffawed, "Oh c'mon. Jeff turned into an ass. Maybe he always was one and he was fooling us."

Sarah rubbed her eyes, "You know what it was?"

"What?"

"When he realized I was not budging on the kids thing…that's when he started acting like a college dude again."

"Good for you," Ed said, "If he didn't respect you enough to wait, then he's not good enough."

"So, you didn't buy a house together or anything," Brooke pointed out, "Should be an easy split, at least, as far as the legal part of it is concerned."

"Yeah," Sarah murmured. "Ugh, I can't believe it. I'll be a divorcee. And I cannot wait to hear mom's reaction," she added sarcastically.

"Oh, fuck her."

Ed raised his eyebrows. He expected that type of comment from Sarah, not Brooke. " _Hey_ ," he warned. "She's your _mother_."

Sarah took Brooke's side, "Well, she really isn't in a position to give marital advice or _judge me_ , so…I'm not gonna worry about her right now."

Brooke, seeking a subject change, swatted at Sarah's arm, "You fall in love too quickly."

Sarah frowned at her, "Maybe…but you, sister, are too slow. _Sonny_."

Ed groaned as his daughters bantered back and forth about their past, present, and future love lives. "Girls," he interrupted, "can we order lunch, please? I told Liv we'd only be an hour."

Hearing Olivia's name, Sarah broke into a silly grin, "Well, we cannot keep Livvie waiting," she cooed whimsically, "Daddy _misses_ her. Look at him, Brookey, he's blushing just thinking about his wifey."

"Will you _stop_?" Ed demanded albeit with a grin.

Brooke tried to steer the conversation away from Sarah's swooning, "Dad, did you put an offer in on that new apartment?"

"We did and they accepted it. And that's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. You two can stay in my place as long as you want, but I decided to sell the Kill Devil condo." Ed expected his daughters to protest this decision, but they both supported it.

"It's too far away to use very often," Sarah said.

Brooke agreed, "Yeah, and you don't rent it or anything. And you'll probably make a lot—those property values have skyrocketed."

Sarah grinned slyly, "And I would much rather have you sell that one instead of the one we're living in."

"He's not going to keep it forever," Brooke pointed out.

Ed held up his hand, "We'll talk about that later. I want you two to save money while you're young, so I'm fine with keeping it for now…but it's not going to drag on forever."

"Of course not," Sarah said, "It's worth too much. But, thank you, Daddy. We really, really appreciate it."

Ed put one arm around Brooke and the other around Sarah and pulled them close. "You're welcome."

" _Omigod_ ," Sarah gasped, "We got sidetracked again, jeez, let's order already. Livvie and Noah will think we stood them up."

…

Ed and the girls found Olivia and Noah on a busy Sixth Avenue street corner at the northern edge of the fair. Various artisans lined the avenue selling jewelry, clothing, accessories, artwork, and sculptures, among other things from tented booths. The air filled with scents from the food vendors, and Sarah immediately made a beeline for an arepa stand.

"You just ate," Brooke said critically.

"Not that much," Sarah scoffed, "And I love these. Noey will help me eat it." She returned from the stand with the cheese-stuffed cornmeal pancake and broke off a piece for Noah. "Like it?" She asked.

He chewed thoughtfully. "Uh-huh, more please, Sarah."

"Here," she handed him another, larger piece, "And we can get more later if you want."

"What do you say?" Olivia prompted.

"Thank you!"

The five of them meandered through the displays, occasionally stopping to more closely inspect certain items. Olivia watched Brooke closely, trying to get some clues about what she might like for her birthday which was in two days. Noah was a trooper, walking along with them for a while until he asked to be picked up. Ed hoisted him up and on his shoulders.

"Nice view up there, huh, No?" Brooke asked.

Noah grinned and pointed out a few things of interest including two mounted uniformed officers, "Look! Police! And a horsie!"

"That's right!" Olivia gushed.

"Livvie, we should take Noah horseback riding!" Sarah suggested.

"When have you ever been on a horse?" Ed asked critically.

"Never, but that doesn't mean Noey and I can't learn together!"

Olivia smiled, "Maybe someday."

"See?" Olivia poked Ed's arm, "Olivia is open to new things. Like, Livvie, I bet you would go salsa dancing with us!"

"I'm not so sure about that," she replied doubtfully.

Brooke cracked up, "I can maybe see you, Liv, but Dad? No way!"

The three women laughed together and then laughed even harder when they saw Ed clench his jaw and go into austere mode.

"Uh-oh," Sarah said, "Let's behave. Dad's getting mad."

Olivia knew better. She put her arm around his waist and gave him a little side hug, "He's trying not to laugh."

Ed smirked at her, "Just you wait. When Noah's older, you three won't have quite the numbers advantage you have now."

Sarah started to say something, but a louder voice superseded hers.

"Tucker? Is that you, you sonofabitch?" Ed whirled around, tensed, and his grip on Noah's legs tightened. A tall, disheveled-looking man stumbled towards them. Ed screwed up his face, trying to figure out how he was connected to the guy.

"He's fucked up," Sarah whispered to Brooke who nodded in agreement.

Olivia stepped in front of Ed, but he nudged her aside, brought Noah down, and handed him to his mother. Tucker glared back at the interloper. "Can I help you?"

"You already helped enough, you mother—" Tucker grabbed the guy by his jacket and shoved him towards the curb, between two booths.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Tucker hissed, "Talking like that in front of my _family_? My wife and kids? And _I'm_ the sonofabitch?"

Unsteady on his feet, the man was unable to fight free of Tucker's hold on him, but he still seethed with anger, "Must be nice, huh? To still have your shield and your salary and your pension? When you spent your whole career screwing over your brother officers?"

Tucker still couldn't remember who the guy was or what he could've done to lose his badge, but it didn't matter. "Fuck you," he snarled and pushed the guy away, releasing him so he hit his heels on the curb, stepped backwards, and swayed across the sidewalk before slumping against the side of a building.

Olivia, Noah, and the girls looked on as two unis trotted over. One detained the man and the other addressed Tucker.

"What's the problem?"

Tucker produced his badge from his coat pocket, "Captain Tucker." He gestured towards the aggressor, "Got a D-n-D there."

Seeing such high ranking credentials, the young officer immediately softened, "Oh, ok, sir, you want us to take him in?"

Tucker scowled at the humiliated, drunken man, "Nah, just…take him home."

"Yessir."

Ed took a deep breath and returned to his family. Noah had been passed to Brooke who placed her hand on the back of his head, trying to shield him from viewing the altercation. Olivia reached out for Ed's hand which was still shaking from the adrenaline rush. The small crowd that had formed to witness the action began to dissipate, and the girls followed Ed's lead as he resumed strolling down the street.

"Who was _that_?" Olivia asked under her breath, feeling like everyone was still watching them.

"I don't remember his name, but I musta taken his shield at some point." Ed let her hand go and slung his arm over her shoulder instead. "It's over…I'm, uh, surprised that hasn't happened before I guess."

"I thought you were going to kill him," Sarah said proudly and reached up and mussed Ed's hair. "Yep. Nobody messes with _my_ Daddy and gets away with it. No sirrreeee."

…

Ed was more reticent than usual that night over dinner and then later as they lounged on the sofa, but Olivia figured he was still decompressing. When it got to be Noah's bedtime, he silently plucked his son from the pile of toys, took him to Olivia for a goodnight kiss, and then headed back for their nightly routine of two stories and a snug tuck-in. He returned to the living room after what Olivia thought was an unusually long time, sat down, and motioned for her to lean back against his chest.

"Ed, are you ok?"

"I'm sorry about today."

"That was not your fault."

"In a way it was."

She fought against his grip and turned to look into his eyes, "How was it your fault? Because you did your _job_ when you were in IAB?"

"How many former cops out there are just like that guy—ruined? Because of me?"

Olivia was shocked to hear him second-guess himself. "They're ruined because of their own decisions, not yours."

"Noah didn't see it, did he?"

"No. Sarah and I did…Brooke stayed back with him."

"Good. I don't want him to see me like that."

Olivia put one hand on his cheek, "You weren't out of control, Ed. _He_ was. But, I get it. And, he didn't see it. _But_ ," she started flirting a little, "you were _defending_ us."

"Nobody gets to talk that way around my family."

"If it weren't so upsetting for you…I was going to say, well, the way you handled it was…kind of sexy."

His eyes drooped a little and his jaw relaxed, "Well, what if I'm not feeling upset anymore?"

She kissed both cheeks before planting her lips on his. "You can be upset." She kissed him again, "but…maybe open to the idea that I can help you…get in a better mood."

He slid his hands under her shirt and rubbed her bare back as she nipped at his neck and then his earlobe, "I'm feeling better already," he murmured.

"I love that you protect us."

He felt her lips move against his neck. Ed Tucker loved that his wife could take care of him and make him feel ultra-masculine at the same time. She made him feel strong and necessary but also loved and appreciated.

"I'll always protect you," he promised, his voice deeper than normal. "And I'll always want you. And," he groaned as Olivia unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, "I want you right now. More than anything."

"I'm all yours."

Ed laid her on the bed after meticulously undressing her. Awestruck, he fixated on her, maybe for too long, but she exercised enormous patience. She didn't furrow her brow in frustration nor did she mutter an exasperated " _what_?" When they first started sleeping together on a regular basis, he frequently paused like this, ogling then apologizing, chalking up the delay to nothing other than enormous and overwhelming pangs of gratitude.

Today that jerk threatened their peace and harmony and Tucker was pissed, even if the instance was short-lived and not likely to linger in their memories for long. Still, now that he had his perfect domestic life, he was not letting anyone, even for a second, fuck it up.

He ran his hands all over her body, contemplating every curve and crevice of this precious woman, _his_ wife. He really had to focus now because images of the guy were coming back and he felt anger swell in his gut and he didn't want to get _too_ rough. Next, with his lips, he traced the path his hands had just taken.

Olivia watched his face. Somehow, this exploration of her body was almost more intimate than the actual sex; his attentiveness and pursed lips turned her on. He looked so appreciative and enamored. If it weren't so erotic, it would be cute.

Then, the smirk. Confidence oozed as she writhed, shivered, looped her legs around his, and dug into his back. He heard her mumble something that sounded like "Ed, I want you," and then it was just "Ed" over and over with some moans and maybe an "Oh God" or a "Don't stop" or maybe that was him who said those things because most of the time when he made love to her he couldn't tell where she began and he ended; the gasps, sighs, grunts, groans—all sounds of sex—they all sounded the same, not his or hers… _theirs_.

"Liv, why do you love me?" He faced her, head on the same pillow, with one arm under his head and the other tracing little circles along the side of her body.

Olivia thought sex would erase any remaining bitterness, but his question indicated he was not only still troubled by the afternoon's encounter but also feeling unlovable. She looked at him with a combination of concern and affection. "You want me to run down the entire list?"

"Yes," he responded seriously.

"Well," she played with his hair, "When we started meeting for drinks, those conversations, I saw how very smart you are. Then, you let me see your kindness and generosity—and your sharp sense of right and wrong, and how you always try to do what's right."

"Anyone can try…it doesn't always happen."

"You're a good man," she insisted, "And you would do anything for me and for your kids. The way you support us and care for us is…amazing...and comforting."

"I'd go to prison before I let someone hurt you."

"I know. But, I'm not done."

His eyes widened with surprise. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I love how you love me. I love right now and I love seeing you in the mornings and coming home to you at night. And that look on your face you get when the girls tease you and the other look you give Noah whenever you see him—pure, pure affection. I love our _life_."

Ed blinked. "You always know what to say."

"It was an easy question."

He kissed her tenderly, "Thank you."

….

 ** _This chapter is a little shorter than I normally write, but I split a longer one in half. Look for another update soon. Thanks for reading! #Tuckson_**


	8. Chapter 8

_It's still April, 2017, picking up right where the last chapter left off._

 **New Realities**

Sarah flounced about the apartment Sunday morning showing no outward anxiety about her impending divorce or her first day at the new accounting firm. She inspected the front closet, shelves, and kitchen cabinets in an effort to estimate how many moving boxes they would need. Neither Olivia nor Ed asked her to do this, but she arrived early and had nothing else to do at the moment. Noah was still finishing his breakfast and Ed and Olivia were getting ready.

"Not that I don't like being next to you, but," Ed spit out a mouthful of toothpaste, "But it will be nice to have the double sinks."

Olivia concentrated on her eye makeup. "Agreed."

"But I will miss this shower."

"We can get the same fixtures."

Ed swished mouthwash, spit again, and splashed water on his face. "We've had some good times in that shower," he remarked naughtily, giving her a little nudge.

Olivia gave him a hand towel, "Yes, we have. And the new shower is even larger, so…"

He pressed against her, "So…"

The contact caused Olivia to lose control of the eyeliner, " _Ed_."

"Sorry," he said, not sounding terribly remorseful, "Here, lemme help you." He looked around, found the wipes, and dabbed at the stray black line crossing her temple.

Olivia smiled at him in the mirror, "Thank you. Now, will you please get out of here?"

"Probably for the best."

"It is."

"Hey," he rubbed the small of her back, "one more thing."

"What?"

He kissed her cheek, "You were unbelievable last night."

"So were you," she replied sweetly.

"Seriously. _Thank you_."

"You're welcome," she gave him a gentle shove towards the door, "Now go, or else we're going to have to tell Sarah to leave."

"We can do that. She can take Noah to the playground or something, _and_ …"

" _Ed_."

He held up his hands, palms facing her. "Ok, ok. I'm going."

Ed dressed in khaki shorts and a black polo and went to the living room where Sarah was now dancing to Beyonce with Noah. He was shaking his little body along to the music, imitating Sarah's movements. Sarah strutted over to Ed and grabbed his wrist. "Dance with us, Daddy!"

He wrestled out of her grip, "That's ok. Will you _turn that down_?"

Sarah shut off the music altogether, "Oh, you're no fun."

"That is not true." Ed motioned to Noah, "C'mere, bud." Noah toddled over. Ed placed him on the counter and wiped his face and hands with a washcloth. "You ready to shop with the girls?"

"Uh-huh. We buy Brookey's birdday present today."

"I know, whatcha gonna get?"

"Pizza and a bracelet."

Sarah laughed, "We're gonna take her out for pizza on her birthday, Noey! We can't wrap up a pizza!"

Noah giggled at the thought.

"What are you doing today, Dad?" Sarah asked.

"Scheduling movers, going to take some measurements, and maybe, if I have time, check out some paint colors and hardware."

"Do you want to meet us for lunch?"

"Depends on where you are and where I am, but let me know."

Olivia, dressed casually in jeans and a plain white t-shirt, sauntered in. "Ok. Are we ready?"

"Ready, mommy!" Noah announced and tried to slide himself off the counter before Ed put him down.

Sarah collected her oversized handbag, "Time to shop til we drop!"

"Shop til we drop!" Noah repeated.

Olivia kissed Ed, "Have fun today. Call me if you need me."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Sarah took Noah's hand and walked him towards the door. "I think mommy and daddy need another minute, No. Let's get outta here."

Ed rolled his eyes and gave Olivia another kiss before nudging her towards the door.

…..

"Sarah, we can put him in the booster seat."

Noah, perched on Sarah's knee, picked at his sandwich and Sarah ate her salad one-handed. She hugged Noah mid-bite, and peanut butter and jelly smeared across his chin.

"Whoopsie, Noey-boey," she wiped the mess she'd caused, "Sorry baby. And, we don't want to put you in the booster seat do we? You love sitting with sister Sarah."

Noah's expression was nonchalant as he chewed. _Whatever you say._

After trudging through Chelsea shops for most of the morning, they finally found gifts for Brooke—the bracelet, some clothes, and underwear. The underwear was Sarah's purchase and it was way sexier than anything Brooke owned. She and Olivia kept laughing as they wandered through the store with Noah in tow. Brooke probably would never wear the lacy garments, but Sarah didn't seem to care.

Olivia noticed Sarah trying to prove she was fine by being extra bubbly and energetic, and she was a tiny bit glad Ed couldn't join them for lunch. Even though Sarah was keeping her father in the loop as far as her personal life was concerned, Olivia knew he wouldn't press her for details. He also would take her insistence that she was fine at face value.

"So…big day for you tomorrow," Olivia remarked.

"Yep! You have no idea how happy I am to be back here and with that firm. Making _real_ money. Just you wait, No, I'm gonna be buying you the best birthday presents this year."

"It's Brookey's birdday." Noah corrected her. "Then my birdday."

Olivia grinned at her son, "Still a long time until your birthday, sweet boy," she focused her attention back on Sarah, "That's good. It's important to like your job. And if you want to stay in Manhattan, you'll definitely need the money."

"I know, _right_? I don't know how I'll ever buy a place here unless I bust my butt and get promoted."

"There's a goal for you."

"I guess," Sarah replied unenthusiastically, "But I won't have a life. Then I'll be old."

Olivia didn't know what to say. For a young woman who outwardly had everything—looks, intelligence, a sense of humor—Sarah seemed so lost.

"You're twenty-five years old, sweetheart. You have your whole life in front of you."

Sarah sighed, "It's just…it feels like every decision I make, now, it's _permanent_. When I was in college and all, things started over. New semesters, new roommates…and now? Everything just… _stays_ , and it's like the same thing over and over again."

"I get it," Olivia sympathized, "But I also know, after a while, you'll crave that stability."

Sarah summoned the waiter, "I need a drink. You want something?"

"Not yet."

"Whatever the house chardonnay is," Sarah ordered and then sighed again. "At least, now, I don't have Jeff to worry about."

"Jeff coming here?" Noah asked.

"Uh-uh," Sarah said, "No Jeff anymore, Noey."

"So you're definitely done? I thought you were doing a trial separation for a few weeks?"

"That's what I told him, but I pretty much think it's over. And, honestly, I'm ok with that. I feel like a failure, but I don't miss him. Is that bad?" Sarah gave the waiter a grateful look as he set the wine down in front of her.

"I think you're doing the right thing," Olivia said gently, "And don't be ashamed because it didn't work out. Things…don't always go as planned."

"I feel so guilty though," Sarah complained, "I put everyone through all the wedding stuff, and we're divorced six months later? It's embarrassing."

"Look," Olivia leaned forward, "You have a family that loves and supports you. We don't see you as a failure. I think you're brave."

Sarah smiled, squeezed Noah again, and kissed his cheek, "I _love_ you guys. Thank you, Livvie…for everything really…you always make me feel better."

Olivia returned the smile, "It helps to have someone you can talk to. And, you know, I'm always here for you."

"Thanks." Sarah seemed to brighten a bit, "You know, when Dad told us about you, Brooke and I were like, _yeah right_ , because he's always been, so, _grumbly_. We had a hard time believing he was _dating_ someone and being romantic and everything. Then, we saw your picture, and I remember texting Brooke, I probably still have the text, I never delete them, and I told her _wow_ _holy, you-know-what_ , because, well, you've seen my mom, and you're so, _not her_."

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at the last statement. Even she had to admit that she and Ed's ex-wife were not exactly twins.

Sarah continued, "Anyway, I guess what I mean is that, I know it sounds weird, I'm not a little kid, but you're, like, the mom I always wanted."

"You're never too old to need a mom's advice," Olivia thought of Serena, "And…my own mother, well, we had our issues and she died before they were resolved. So, I'm so glad I can be here for you and Brooke, and, of course," she reached over and stroked Noah's cheek, "You, my sweet boy."

"I don't even think my mom cares that we hate her."

Olivia disagreed. "I'm sure that's not true."

"Brooke told you the whole story, right? About her and Dave?"

Olivia remembered the conversation she had with Brooke on the day of the engagement party, "That, ah, she got remarried a little…too quickly?"

"Yeah," Sarah rolled her eyes, "She totally cheated on Dad. I know it. She knows I know it. So…in addition to being strict and not understanding, she kept her distance. Very adult of her," Sarah added sarcastically. "Maybe someday we'll talk and hash it out. And, maybe Dad _was_ gone a lot. But he wasn't a bad husband or a bad father. He was just _working_ and even when he tried to fix things, she just…left. And took us. And tried to blame it on him."

Olivia shook her head. Ed told her the whole story about the breakdown of his marriage, and he, too, speculated his ex-wife had been unfaithful. Hearing it from the girls' perspective was more heart-wrenching.

"And, you know, Dave? Her husband? Well, he's the _brother_ of Dad's old partner."

"Yeah, he said something like that."

"Ugh," Sarah broke into a wry smile, " _Families_."

"Well, like I said, we love you and we're here for you," Olivia said, looking straight into Sarah's eyes, "So if you need us…call, come over, whatever. Any time."

"Thanks, Livvie," Sarah finished her wine, "Now. Noey. We have to wrap these presents. Wanna pick out wrapping paper with me?"

"We haveta get yellow paper for Brookey. Or red. She likes red, too."

"We'll get yellow, it's more springy."

Olivia set out her credit card for the waiter and checked her phone. "Your Dad is at Benjamin Moore and he's officially gone crazy with the paint." She flipped through multiple photos of paint samples.

"Liv, I'll take Noah for a little while if you want to go meet him. Can I have your keys, though? Noah and I can wrap presents at your place."

"Yeah, ok. Thank you. I think Ed's a little…overwhelmed." Olivia dug around in her bag searching for the keys. She found them and handed the ring over to Sarah.

"And I promise you, we will not eat any junk. No cookies. No ice cream."

Noah looked disappointed. "We eat Oreos, Sarah."

"Shhhh," she whispered, "You gotta learn to keep some things to yourself, buddy."

…

Ed and Olivia chose paint colors for all rooms in the new apartment, white for the most part, but a lighter blue for Noah's room and gray for the office. Next, they stopped and browsed through a few other stores and took pictures of the faucets and light fixtures that caught their eyes. Ed entertained Olivia by his thorough examination of each piece. It was clear he wanted their new place to be perfect down to the most minute detail.

"You want to go over there?" Ed asked.

"We haven't closed yet. How do you have the keys?"

Ed grinned, "I have a way with realtors."

Olivia put her arm around his waist and hugged him to her side as they walked along Ninth Avenue. "Seriously, how do you have them?"

"I have them for today and tomorrow to let the contractors in for estimates."

"That was nice of them."

"So…let's go over. Did you tell Sarah a time that we'd be back?"

"No."

"So we have all night."

Olivia laughed, "Let's not take advantage of her."

….

Ed opened some windows when they entered, saying the place needed to air out. He was right. It had been unoccupied for several months and the stale air and older carpeting combined to give off a musty scent. The rooms were devoid of furniture, and their footsteps reverberated as they traversed their new digs. They talked about what would be fixed, changed, and updated. In what would soon be their bedroom, they lingered against the window sill, taking in the view.

"It seems like a lot, but I think everything can be done in a couple weeks," Ed mused.

Olivia thought he was underestimating, but she let him hold on to his optimism. "Did they give you a closing date yet?"

"Supposed to call tomorrow." Ed moved behind her and put his arms around her waist. "You know, sometimes, I still think about how incredible it is that we're married." He slowly kissed the back of her neck.

"I do too," she replied.

"Is that, uh, healthy?"

She leaned her head way back so she could kiss his lips. "I think so. I certainly don't take it for granted."

"Do you remember when I first said I love you?"

"Of course. Right after we were both reinstated." She would never forget the moment when Ed uttered those three words to her for the first time. They were settled in on the sofa after having had celebratory dinner and drinks. Ed sincerely thanked her for standing by him. He looked like he was nearly in tears as he explained how he thought he could possibly lose her and that he would have been fine with losing anything or anyone but her and Noah. Then, he gazed at her with those irresistible baby blues, smoothed her hair, and said it. _Liv, I love you_.

"I was nervous," Ed admitted, "I didn't want you to say it back because you thought you had to, but I _really_ wanted you to say it back."

"And I did," she replied, "And I meant it."

"I was nervous when I asked you to marry me, too. I thought you would say no."

"Why?" Olivia didn't want to bring up the fact that he'd really proposed by accident the day Noah called him _Daddy_ for the first time.

"It had come up before, just the idea, and you never seemed, well, really _into_ it."

She turned around, "Have I convinced you that I'm _into_ it?"

"Absolutely." He kissed her and pulled away quickly, but immediately latched onto her lips again, backing her against the sill a little more forcefully than he intended. "Oh, sorry, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she murmured, kissing him back with equal fervor. She wiggled out of her lightweight trench and it fell to the floor in a heap. She ran her hands under Ed's shirt; he reacted by shoving his tongue deeper into her mouth, opening his lips wide as if he were trying to consume the lower half of her face.

When she yanked at his belt, he reciprocated by unbuttoning her jeans and, not bothering with the zipper, slid his hand down and inside her panties. She moaned and he chuckled a little.

"Like that?"

She responded by frantically removing his jeans and boxer briefs. He stepped out of the garments and guided Olivia away from the window, so the sill wasn't cutting into her back. She shimmied completely out of her pants, wrapped one leg around him, and hissed, "I need you right now."

….

Before they entered the apartment, Ed and Olivia inspected one another. They thought they'd cleaned themselves up and were presentable, but they could have easily missed something in the dimness of the late afternoon.

"I think we're fine," Ed said, "But, you're still kinda… _flushed_."

Olivia reddened even more, "Well, I can't do anything about that right now, so, let's go in."

They would have had a chance to change clothes. Neither Sarah nor Noah stirred at the sound of the door opening. Sarah was flat on her back and Noah was wedged between her body and the back of the sofa with one arm draped across her waist. The end credits of _Beauty and the Beast_ were just starting to roll, and Ed used the remote control to turn off the television and DVD player.

"Where'd we get that movie?" Ed asked.

Olivia shrugged, "Maybe Sarah brought it?"

"Probably." He grinned as Olivia snapped a picture of the snoozing pair. "Should we wake them up?"

She shook her head, "No, let them sleep."

"What are _we_ going to do?"

There were tons of things to do, but the laundry, the work she'd brought home, and the packing could wait. "Shower?" She suggested.

Ed looked her up and down seductively. "This must be my lucky day."

…..

Monday.

The phones at SVU rang incessantly. If the call wasn't summoning them to the scene of a new sexual assault, it was one of the detectives phoning in updates of prior attacks and victims. At one point Olivia held her cell to one ear and her office phone to the other. Ever since Rollins was promoted to Sergeant and allowed to replace Dodds, a series of sub-par detectives had come and gone. Benson grew increasingly frustrated and preferred to operate short-staffed rather than have to clean up messes created by incompetence or a lack of compassion.

During a late-afternoon lull, Olivia called Ed with disappointing news. "Hey," she said, "I don't think I'm going to make it to dinner tonight. I feel terrible, but we're swamped."

"Don't worry about it," Ed replied, "We understand."

"If I get a few minutes I can run over there."

"Ok, hey, where are the presents?"

"I put them in the closet, behind the vacuum."

Ed sounded like he was rifling through the cluttered closet. "I don't see them. And I don't see the vacuum."

"Are you in the closet by Noah's room?"

"No."

Olivia smiled, "That's why."

A few seconds passed.

"Ok, I got them."

Olivia saw Carisi and Rollins come marching in. "Hey, I have to go. Kiss Noah and the girls for me, and I'll see you later tonight. Love you."

"Love you too."

Olivia hung up and used her few seconds of solace to gaze at her lock screen photo—the three of them in the park taken by either Sarah or Brooke.

"Lieu, you're gonna love this one," Carisi said.

"Your tone makes me think otherwise," Olivia replied dryly.

Rollins held out her phone, "Remember him?"

Olivia peered at the photograph. "Anton Andrechenko. The Ukranian, what, trillionaire, who does…what?"

"Father was in the oil business," Carisi said, "But with those guys, who knows what they really do, ya know?"

"Right," Rollins added, "So much corruption there and in Russia, but, he's the owner of the penthouse at 432 Park. A neighbor tipped off the local precinct about suspicious activity. They raided it and called us. At least ten girls, suspected of being underage, but limited English and no IDs."

"Where are the girls now?"

"On their way here."

"Great. I'll call Fin back. He was at Bellevue with the vic from the Lower East Side."

"They catch that guy yet?" Carisi asked.

"No," Liv responded, "We'll have to wait for the rape kit. She couldn't describe him."

"Lieutenant," Rollins said, "Any word on another detective?"

Olivia frowned, "I told the Chief not to send anyone else unless I vetted them first. And he hasn't sent me any names. We'll get somebody. Soon, hopefully."

"Got it." Rollins left the office, and as she and Carisi awaited their visitors, she noticed him paying more attention than usual to his phone. "Everything ok?" She asked him.

"Yeah, everything's fine, just had something to do tonight, and it looks like it's not happening."

"Well, I can cover for you if you need to get away for a few."

"Nah, not necessary. I'm good. Oh," he motioned towards the elevators, "Looks like they're here."

…

While Olivia and the squad were gathering information from the girls rounded up in the raid, the rest of her family settled in at a neighborhood Italian joint. Ed and Sarah decided to leave the presents at home so they could open them later with the hopes that Olivia could join them.

"How was your first day?" Brooke asked Sarah after they toasted with glasses of Pinot Grigio.

Sarah fluttered her arms around, "Ah, first day, just met a bunch of people whose names I'll forget, met my team, went to lunch, got a rather large binder of materials to _get me up to speed_ on this current project, went for drinks, and now here I am."

Ed raised his eyebrows, "How many drinks have you had?"

Sarah looked towards the ceiling as she thought out loud, "Let's seeee, had a glass of wine at lunch and then two or three Jack and Cokes. Four drinks, Daddy."

"Do you really think you should've been drinking at lunch on your first day?" Brooke asked.

Sarah, annoyed, retorted, "Brooke this is not public school. This is _finance_. The boss bought the freaking drinks. It would've been worse if I'd _refused_." Her blue eyes, identical to Ed's blazed at her sister.

"Who took you out after work?" Ed asked.

"The guy who leads my division."

"A different boss?"

"Yes."

Ed wanted more information, but he backed off. Sarah being in a male-dominated environment concerned him, but, his unease _was_ tempered a bit by her spunk. She could take care of herself, but she also had trouble drawing lines and exercising control when it was needed. He looked at Brooke in a silent plea for help.

"How's he?" Brooke asked.

"The division manager?"

"Yes."

"A big fat dork."

Brooke laughed and so did Noah who repeated "fat dork" a few times.

Sarah maintained a serious expression, "I'm not joking. Ok, he's not that fat, but he does wear the suits that skinny men wear, you know, like _Sonny_. And he needs to just wear a regular suit. But, he's really nerdy. Very, very nerdy. He will not be my rebound guy."

Ed and Brooke exchanged amused glances.

"Speaking of Sonny," Sarah said, "Where is he?"

Ed answered before Brooke had a chance, "I don't think he or Olivia will be here."

Brooke swallowed a sip of wine, "He texted me. Apparently they just caught a major case, or, what will be a major case. He's probably not leaving for a while."

Sarah pouted, "Well, darn. That means Livvie won't be leaving for a while either. Ugh. You people with these twenty-four-seven jobs."

"Yeah," Ed sniffed, "Not all of us can drink all day and still make a hundred grand a year."

"I don't make _that_ much," Sarah replied, but then screwed up her face. "Or, do I?"

Ed and Brooke groaned simultaneously. For what seemed like the millionth time in his life, Ed wondered how his younger daughter could possibly be his child.

…..

Even with translators, the squad was getting nowhere with the girls.

"They're not Ukranian," Rollins informed Olivia. "The translator has tried Russian, too, but he says it's either Croatian or Serbian, depending on the girl."

"Those are languages?" Fin asked, genuinely stumped.

Everyone gave him his or her own version of a strange look and Olivia banged on the window, summoning the translator and one of the precinct detectives who was sitting in on the interview.

"Will it do us any good to get someone in here with Serbian or are they just not talking?" She asked both of them.

"They're scared," the translator replied.

"Look at them," Rollins said, moving towards the glass, "they can't be more than fifteen. And they're in a foreign country, can't speak the language, and they have basically no identity. Let's get them processed and maybe we'll get a hit on the prints."

"Processed for what?" Carisi asked. "They're obviously victims."

Olivia narrowed her eyes as she joined Rollins, "We have one being held for operating an illegal gambling establishment. Other men there are being held as accessories. These ladies can join them."

"After we try the other translator?" Fin asked.

"Sure," Olivia turned to the two outsiders, "Thank you for your help gentlemen. How long will it be before a _Serbian_ translator can get here?"

"Could be a while."

"Put them in holding until then," Olivia directed. "Who else was picked up there?"

Carisi read from his notes, "Five other women, all older, had U.S. passports but had heavy accents. Sounded eastern European to me. Claimed they were relatives."

"In addition to the men they picked up playing blackjack and roulette, there were three others. They were gone before we got there, and, according to the local precinct, they're not talking."

"Johns? Or…customers?"

The precinct detective answered, "Two coulda been customers. The other one? Designer suit, shoes…definitely some kinda high-level pimp or enforcer. You could tell…he and the guy running the tables…they were in charge."

Olivia rubbed her forehead and spoke to her squad, "Well, guys, we're here until we know what this is. Bring the guys in."

"Got it, Lieutenant."

The precinct detective questioned Olivia, "You want all the guys, or should we turn over some of them to organized crime?"

"All of them," she said reluctantly. "Full house tonight."

…..

Ed and his kids gathered back at the apartment after dinner and Brooke opened her presents. She saved Noah's gift for last and invited him into her lap to help her tear off the bright yellow wrapping paper. She opened the box carefully and gasped dramatically for Noah's benefit.

"Oh wow, Noah!" She held the silver cuff bracelet in the air, "I love it! You picked this out all by yourself?"

"Uh-huh, I buyed it with Mommy and Sarah. We have the same. See?" He held out his wrist.

"Olivia said he thought of the idea all by himself," Ed informed her proudly.

Brooke kissed Noah, "You are such a sweetheart," she cooed.

"Hey, No, where's the card?" Ed asked him, remembering it just then.

Noah clambered out of Brooke's lap, dashed to his room, and returned within seconds, "Here, Brookey. Here's da card."

She took it out of the envelope and read it aloud. "Happy Birthday to my dear sister." She opened it and read the inside message, "no one deserves a happier birthday than you." She smiled as she examined the drawing and Noah's scribbles. "Is this us, No?"

"Yep," he pointed, "See? You wear yellow."

"I'll keep it forever. Thank you, sweetie." She hugged him again.

Sarah, slurring her words a bit, gushed, "I just _love_ you, Noey-boey. I could be your nanny. Maybe I'll say to hell with the new gig and move in with you."

Ed sternly stared at Sarah more so because of her language than her silly and irrational career change; however, he fought the urge to admonish her. "I thought you told Olivia watching him freaked you out when we were in Key West?"

"Well _yeah_ ," Sarah explained, "Because you guys were gone. If something happened it was all on me."

"You're not going to be our nanny," Ed said flatly.

"She knows," Brooke said, annoyed, "She just has no idea what she wants."

"What I _want_ , I think, is my bed. I have to get up early and start reading that crap they gave me today. If I read it tonight, I won't remember a thing."

Brooke stood up, "Alright, let's go. Dad, thank you for everything and I sent Olivia a text, but hug her and thank her again for me."

"Will do. Happy Birthday, baby."

Sarah swayed as she gathered herself, "Hug her for me, too! But you'll probably do way more than that."

Brooke gave her a playful swat on the back, " _Sarah_."

Ed chewed the inside of his mouth as he watched his daughters leave.

" _What_?" He heard Sarah say as he locked the door. "You know I live vicariously through them."

"You are so…odd." Brooke retorted. "And a little, _wrong_."

Sarah said something else in protest, but Ed couldn't make it out. They must have been entering the elevator. He returned to the living room where Noah was randomly opening apps on the iPad.

"Well, bud, it's just the two of us tonight. Your crazy sisters are gone."

Noah giggled and repeated, "Crazy sisters. Crazy Sarah. Crazy Brookey."

"Yeah," He mussed Noah's hair, "We men have to stick together."

"Noah and Daddy crazy, too?"

"No, we're not. We're a team."

"Daddy Noah team!"

"What about Mommy?" Ed asked, "Can she be on our team?"  
"Mommy's a _girl_."

"Yeah, but we have to have her on our team."

Noah shrugged, "Ok." Then, he looked up at Ed, "We go see Mommy now?"

"No, bud. It's late. We have to get ready for bed. Mommy will be here in the morning. Let's send her a good night message though after we get our PJs on."

…

When Olivia pulled her phone from her pocket, she expected the message to be from the Chief or the Deputy Commissioner or, perhaps, the precinct captain from the squad that originally busted the penthouse party, but, to her delight, it was a text from Ed. Attached was Noah's goodnight message. She waited until there was a lull in the interrogation, asked Rollins if she would fill in for a few minutes, and excused herself to her office.

She hit play.

Noah appeared on the screen, sitting in his bed with Bernie, and dressed in his black-and-gray robot pajamas. She heard Ed's voice prompt him that he was now being recorded. "Say goodnight to mommy, bud."

Noah swallowed and looked upwards as if he were remembering rehearsed lines. "Hi Mommy! We read three books, Daddy said only two, but it was three."

Ed turned the camera on him and smirked, "The third one was a short one," he interjected and focused back on Noah. "Ok, No, tell her night night."

"G'night, Mommy. Love youuuuuuuuuu!"

"Blow her kisses."

Noah did, using both hands.

Ed flipped the camera again, "Love you, Liv. See ya later." Then, he blew a kiss of his own and the screen faded to black.

She watched it one more time, smiling, before she went out to the squad room. She'd only been gone a few minutes, but Fin, Carisi, and Rollins were now gaping at the three men being escorted to the interrogation rooms by uniformed officers.

The first two were unfamiliar.

The third man, the well-dressed one the precinct detective described, was known to all of them.

Declan Murphy.

…

 ** _Note about the Sergeant: I cannot decide who I think will replace Mike. On one hand, Fin has experience, reputation, etc., but he's reluctant and I just don't see him comfortable in a more administrative role. But, then again, maybe he'll change as he becomes a grandfather. Rollins has some dings in her jacket, but she has expressed interest in the past. I also kind of like the one-two female punch, and I think she's good at her job even though she's had her share of loose cannon moments. Perhaps more power and responsibility will transform what was recklessness into creativity? Who knows…in this fic, I'm going with Rollins!_**


	9. Chapter 9

_The last chapter ended with Declan Murphy escorted into the squad room, having been picked up in a raid on an illegal gambling joint. We are ahead in time: mid-late April, 2017. I know this story's description is all about the sweetness, but I am bringing a little heartache into the fray for no other reason than to highlight the strengthening bonds among TucksoNoah and the OCs. Enjoy and thanks for all the comments here and on Twitter- fid2916_

 **Snares, Tears, and Loose Threads**

Declan Murphy, hair slicked to the side and beard closely cropped, glowered at the squad like most criminals who see the police as mere obstacles temporarily obstructing their enterprises. He wore an impeccably tailored navy suit with a lighter blue paisley tie and handkerchief. On his feet were dark brown, monk-strap leather shoes. Whoever was running his undercover operation made sure to attire their mole appropriately. Olivia's mental calculation put his outfit's cost at well over five thousand dollars.

"What the hell…" Rollins murmured under her breath.

"I'll call the chief," Olivia muttered, returning Murphy's glare until he disappeared into holding. The squad followed to her office. Fin closed the door. The call did not last long. "He said he'll contact the U.S. Marshals and Interpol, but, for now, he's a perp. So…do your jobs." Before they all departed, Olivia pulled Rollins aside. "Hey…did you know Declan was still around?"

"No," Rollins replied, "After we took down Johnny D, he was the ring's number one. I haven't seen him since Jesse's birthday. Even then it wasn't for long. He was taking a huge gamble coming to see us, and he hinted that he was leaving the country."

"Ok, listen, I don't want you handling any of the interrogations here. Observe, but no contact." Olivia noticed Rollins' alarmed expression. "Just to be safe," she emphasized.

"Got it, Lieutenant," Rollins said somewhat dejectedly.

…..

Every single person SVU interrogated stonewalled the detectives, so they were held overnight awaiting arraignment on various charges. Murphy never wavered and was even combative, leading the squad to believe he was even more deeply undercover than before, and Chief Dodds was still waiting to hear back from his handlers. Officers escorted the perps to jail, and Olivia sent everyone home, including herself.

She was surprised to find Noah in their bed since he didn't seem at all distressed in the goodnight video. He rarely had trouble going to sleep on his own, and he almost never objected to bedtime as long as he had his blanket, Bernie, and his two (or, if it was Ed, three) stories. Olivia lifted him out of his nest of pillows and blankets and put him back in his bed without incident. He stirred ever so slightly but fell back into a deep sleep. She found a pair of shorts and a tank top on the rack in the bathroom, put them on, and got in bed.

Ed wasn't snoring, but he was close. His breathing was heavy and steady and he lay on his stomach, face turned towards her with his mouth slightly open. The arm closest to her was outstretched, indicating he had fallen asleep with it draped over Noah. She gently moved it to his side, and, like their son, he appeared unbothered by the interruption. Olivia put her head on her own pillow and stared. She debated whether or not to wake him. He always kissed her when he returned in the middle of the night, but he didn't usually attempt to completely wake her up unless he was _really_ in an extreme mood—either terribly upset or desperate to make love. She fell into neither category and she would have to be at the precinct early tomorrow morning, so she programmed her phone's alarm, made sure the volume wasn't too high, and closed her eyes.

Not more than a minute later, she felt Ed scoot closer so their bodies touched. He put his arm around her, making sure to lightly brush her breasts, and he kissed her bare shoulder before returning his head to the pillow.

"Mmmmm," Olivia moaned as she nestled into him.

"Now I can sleep," Ed whispered, sounding relieved.

"You _were_ sleeping," Olivia retorted.

"Uh-uh." Ed sounded like Noah.

"You were nearly snoring."

Ed mumbled something into her upper back.

"Go back to sleep, Ed."

He already was.

….

By the next afternoon, the penthouse bust was beginning to shake out. The three girls with no identification began talking with the assistance of the translators and with the promise that their families would be flown in to escort them back home. They had all fallen in with members of the trafficking ring by patronizing a particular nightclub in Belgrade; the location was apparently the epicenter of Murphy's empire. Olivia praised Rollins and Carisi for so quickly and empathetically convincing the girls to talk, and once their security detail arrived to escort them to their hotel rooms, she sent the detective and the sergeant home. Olivia remained in her office, waiting for Chief Dodds to show up. She was in the middle of perusing the penthouse owner's financials when her office phone rang.

"Benson."

"It's Tucker. Am I on speaker?"

She smiled at his professionalism.

"Yes."

"Pick up."

She did. " _Yes_?"

"Couple things." He sounded like he was in a hurry. "Three actually."

"Why are you calling on this phone?"

"I told Siri to _call Benson_ and that's the one she dialed." Ed still used her last name when he was in police mode.

"Oh, well, ok, what's going on?"

"First, my team got a call, so I can't get Noah from Brooke. Second, the closing date is two weeks from today at two o'clock."

"Great!" Olivia exclaimed in response to the second part. "I'll make sure I'm free that day. This is so exciting, Ed."

"I know, Liv. Listen, I hate to leave you in the lurch like this, but there's a guy threatening to jump on the Manhattan Bridge—"

"Don't worry about it. I'll call Brooke, and I'll be out of here soon. Um, you said you had _three_ things?"

Ed took a few seconds, pretending to think. "Oh yeah, I love you."

Olivia smirked into the phone. "I love you too. Be careful."

"I will. And Liv?"

"Yes?" _Thought he was in a rush?_

"We're going on a date tomorrow night. Just the two of us."

"Sounds romantic."

"Absolutely. Ok, I gotta go, love you."

"Love you. Bye."

"Bye."

Sarah's text came through seconds later, as if she were waiting for Olivia to be off the phone and unoccupied.

 _Livvie, can we meet for a drink?_

 _Now?_

 _Whenever you get out of work._

Olivia sent a text to Dodds requesting an ETA before she replied to Sarah. _Sure, but I'm waiting for my boss, so I can't give you a specific time right now. But it'll have to be just one, because I have to get Noah._

 _Ok, just let me know._ Sarah ended the text with two pink hearts.

The next order of business was to call Brooke about Noah. Olivia opened apologetically, "Hey, Brooke, thank you for helping us out. I hate to do this to you on your spring break."

Unbothered, Brooke answered, "Not a problem. It's just a couple hours."

"Well," Olivia replied hesitantly, "Would you mind, possibly, a couple more?" She went on to explain that the chief was coming in and something was up with Sarah.

Again, Brooke was flexible, "Sure, I can keep him longer, but, I'm going out to dinner at seven-thirty. Do you think you can get him by then? Otherwise, I can just bring him and you can pick him up at the restaurant?"

"No, no, no," Olivia said, "I'll be there by seven or earlier. Don't worry about his dinner. He should have snacks in his bag if he's hungry."

"Oh he ate," Brooke said breezily, "You know, Sarah and I are on a mission to increase his cholesterol and blood sugar."

Olivia laughed, "That's what sisters are for. Thank you again, and I promise we won't be late."

The chief walked in, alone, as she was ending the call. "Lieutenant, thank you for waiting. This won't take long."

Olivia acted like she was in the middle of something important, but she was actually texting Sarah. _Meet you at Quinn's in 30 minutes._

….

Olivia thought about Chief Dodds' update as she walked the short distance between the precinct and the bar. Murphy escorted the women from Serbia to the United States using a private jet owned by the wealthy Ukrainian who also owned the penthouse. In just under two years, Murphy collected evidence implicating hundreds of men in dozens of countries in Eastern Europe and Asia, and he was begging to remain undercover, believing the tentacles of the ringleaders reached even deeper and to more prominent world leaders. However, Declan was also attempting to spend more time in the United States, and that was beginning to arouse the slightest suspicion among those closest to him. At the very least, this particular bust closed a major point of entry for the Belgrade-based part of the organization. The chief complimented SVU, particularly Rollins and Carisi, and then, before leaving, said, "Well, I'm sure you have things to do and places to be," he said mournfully, looking down at the floor.

"I'll walk you out," Olivia grabbed her jacket and patted his back, "How are you?"

He appreciated the concern. Benson's _How are you_ genuinely expressed an interest in knowing his emotional status. She and Alice had been the only two people to see him break down; in front of everyone else, he remained stoic. Additionally, Olivia had been the only one to treat him normally after he returned from a few days of bereavement leave. For that, he would always be grateful.

"Good days and bad days," he replied, trying to sound unaffected, "Been almost a year."

Olivia breathed deeply and sighed, "Certainly doesn't seem like it."

"No it doesn't. Hard to get those images out of my head, but then, other times, it's a blur."

"You'll get through it, with time…" Olivia almost added "and therapy," but she held back. "I'm always here for you, Chief, if you want to talk."

Surprise crossed his face. "Maybe a drink sometime?"

Olivia fought off her reluctance and smiled, "Sure, sure. Whenever…let me know."

"Where are you headed now?"

Olivia hated to tell him she was seeing her stepdaughter, feeling like it reinforced the reality that Mike was gone, but there was no way around it. "I'm meeting Ed's daughter."

"Oh," Dodds' disappointment was evident, "Well, have a good night, Lieutenant."

"You too."

Olivia, lost in thought, jumped when Sarah called her name as she entered Quinn's. There she was, at the far corner of the bar, flailing her arms as if there was the slightest chance she'd go unnoticed. Olivia grinned at her. Even in this time of personal distress, Sarah was gorgeous. She had her father's dazzling blue eyes. His ruddy face, replicated on her, was one of delicate elegance, defined cheekbones, and a perpetual rosy hue which always made her seem wholeheartedly energetic and alive. Today she'd pulled her blonde hair back in a sleek ponytail, making her facial features even more distinct.

"Hi." Olivia hugged her. "Everything ok?" There was little time for small talk.

Sarah called the bartender over so Olivia could order her drink and then jabbed at her phone's screen. "Lookit this."

It was Jeff's Facebook page. Olivia searched for exactly what Sarah wanted her to see. He listed no marital status. His location was Philadelphia. Both the profile picture and cover photo were Phillies-related.

Sarah finally prompted her, "He posted a new set of pictures, see it? Labeled _spring training_?"

Oh.

There were no terribly incriminating pictures, but in almost every single photo, Jeff was next to the same woman.

Sarah saw the realization come over Olivia's face, "So, all this time, I'm thinking he's just going back to the single life, pissed off because I don't want to have kids and be this neat little family, and _he's the one fucking around on me_."

Olivia tried not to jump to conclusions. "Let's stay calm. This looks bad, but, do you really think he would put this out there knowing you could see it? Do you know who she is?"

"I have absolutely no clue, but they have all kinds of interns working there." Sarah thought about the other question. "He probably thinks it's no big deal, or he's just being passive aggressive, hoping I'll comment or text him and be mad. I'm just going to leave it alone, but…"

Tears rolled down Sarah's cheeks and fell in droplets on the bar. Olivia practically saw the pieces of her crumbling marriage crush her, causing her face to contort with despair. Sarah fell against Olivia as she put an arm around her shoulders. "Why does everything come easy to me except… _this_?" Sarah choked out.

"Sweetheart, marriage is not easy. Love isn't easy."

"Yours is."

 _Here we go again_ , Olivia thought. Sarah failed, in fact refused, to understand that the path to Ed and Olivia's coupling was anything but easy. She also rejected Olivia's constant insistence that Sarah not compare her marriage to theirs. It wasn't the same. Of course their marriage looked easy; almost every ugly scenario Olivia could think of was behind them.

"Sarah," Olivia began gently, but she was quickly cut off.

"I literally think my Dad would die without you. Like, seriously, drop fucking dead. He loves you so much, everyone can tell. _Everyone_. Even people I hadn't seen in years, at the wedding, they came up to me and were like, 'holy shit, your Dad is smitten with whoever that is. Good for him.' And he's always holding doors and if we're over eating dinner or something, he makes sure you and Noah have everything you need before he even _sits fucking down_. And, like the other day when we went shopping, I think he really would have preferred you stay with him. He was so sad that you were leaving." Sarah stopped rambling for a second and peeled herself from Olivia, took a drink, and wiped her eyes. "Jeff never once acted that way around me. He never looked at me like that. He'd laugh. Roll his eyes. Smile. But never ever did he look like he was _in love_."

Olivia tried to make her regular point, "It's not—"

"I know, I know, it's not good to compare me to you. But this has nothing to do with marriage. It has to do with _feelings_. Dad would act like that even if you weren't _married_. He did. We all saw it."

"Sarah, do you realize how difficult it was for us to get where we are now?" Olivia, still sounding sympathetic, became a tad sterner.

"Yeah, yeah. You told us. He was an ass. A gigantic prick."

"Exactly. So, think about me. I have a son. I'm the commanding officer of my unit. I'm happy, finally, for once, I feel like I have a little bit of peace in my life. And then this man who I've loathed since…almost since I became a detective…gradually becomes someone I trust. That was not easy for me, and it wasn't easy for him. Both of us were taking huge steps away from what we thought to be normal."

"See, Livvie? You have a _story._ There is substance. You have a foundation. You have an absolute point that you can look back to and say, yep, that's when it started. That's when the IAB asshole became the man I love…. _right_?" Her eyes widened.

Olivia took a drink. "That's right. But it's not as romantic as you think."

"It's not?"

"No," Olivia sighed, "It was right before, well, right before Noah's adoption was finalized. We had…a tough trial…all of us were under the microscope, and, I was stressed out about it and about the fact that, in family court, nothing is set in stone until that judge signs the paperwork." Olivia decided not to go into detail about Johnny D. If Sarah really wanted the information, she could dig around and get it, but she guessed that would not happen. "So, with all this going on, your Dad and I were also meeting fairly regularly, just for drinks, as friends and colleagues, and, the night before I was set to testify, he called me."

"What'd he say?"

"Nothing much, just good luck, that he would be thinking about me, that he knew it was a hard week but to stay positive, and I hung up the phone and thought, wow, that was Ed Tucker? And then I started thinking about he and I as _us._ I knew he was in my corner and it was more than professional courtesy. After that, I opened up, started letting him in, bit by bit, to my life."

"Was that before or after we met you?"

"Way before."

Sarah frowned. "I cannot tell a story like that. Jeff and I. We met, he thought I was cute. I thought he was. We were drinking buddies, had fun, had great sex, so, it was like, hey, let's get married. We don't have anything in common, at least, nothing that is worth building a marriage on. You know what? I can't even tell you when we first _kissed_! Isn't that weird? I truly cannot remember. I can remember kissing Tyler Ordelt in seventh grade, but my _husband_? Do. Not. Remember. There was a time, like a two-week period when I was on vacation, we were going out every night and drinking way too much, so it probably happened then, because after that we were practically living together."

Olivia thought this was odd, too, and she also worried that Sarah had been on a two-week bender and so out of it that she apparently had no clue when her intimate relationship with her soon-to-be-ex-husband actually began.

"That does, seem…problematic," Olivia reacted as diplomatically as possible.

"Ugh," Sarah groaned. "Do we have time for another drink?"

Olivia checked her watch, "A quick one."

"Good." Sarah got the bartender's attention.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Olivia asked.

"Anything."

"I don't want you to misunderstand why I'm telling you this because I always want you and Brooke to come to me if you need to talk or need advice. But, you may also want to think about seeing a professional, too." Sarah's eyes fell. Olivia maintained her optimism, "The difference is, Sarah, I'm not a professional and I love you with all my heart, so what I tell you, even though it's my best advice and my honest thoughts, may not always be what you need to hear."

Sarah nodded. "Can you recommend someone?"

"I will."

"I know you tell Dad all this stuff, but, I don't want him to know I'm going to a shrink."

"Ok."

….

Ed notified his wife that the team peacefully resolved the call, and he was headed back to 1PP to complete the paperwork before going home. Olivia sent him a sweet message and paid for her and Sarah's drinks. If they walked briskly, Brooke would have almost an hour before she had to leave for dinner.

"Who's she going out with?" Sarah asked.

Olivia shrugged, "I assumed it was with Sonny, but he didn't say anything. Friends?"

Sarah brushed off that idea, "She never hangs out with her friends. She's either at work or home. She's probably going to bore Sonny to death."

"Maybe that'll change when she gets a job in the neighborhood."

Sarah gasped, "Oh shit."

"What?"

"She and I are supposed to eat with _mom_ tonight, for Brooke's birthday. Crap. I shoulda had a shot before we left. I hope Brookey has liquor."

Olivia wondered why Brooke withheld this information. Both girls had an acrimonious relationship with Angela; maybe Brooke just preferred not to mention her if she didn't have to.

"Where are you going?" Olivia asked, trying to make conversation and calm Sarah down.

"I have no clue. Hopefully no place where I have to keep these clothes on. I want my jeans."

The door to the apartment was unlocked, so Sarah let herself and Olivia in. "Wherrrrrre's myyyyy No—" She clasped her mouth shut when she saw her mother.

Brooke tried to act like the awkward situation was completely under control, and she spoke a little too cheerfully. "Hey, guys! Mom snuck out of work early and decided to come see the new place. Good thing we just cleaned, Sare!"

Noah ran to his mother with outstretched arms, "Mommy!"

"Hi, my love! I'm so happy to see you!"

Angela forced a smile but remained silent.

"Kisses, Noey," Sarah shoved her face in front of Noah's.

He gave her a peck on each cheek. "Dere ya go, Sarah."

"Mom's taking us to Per Se," Brooke announced, trying to sound excited. Her mother never considered her daughters' laid back style when treating them to their birthday dinners. Brooke would have preferred something less upscale, and Olivia already knew how Sarah felt.

Sarah pinched her forehead, "I've had a terrible day. Do you mind if I skip it? I also have more of that reading to do…I'm so lost with this new team I'm working with."

Angela frowned, "Well, I suppose that's fine with me if your sister isn't too disappointed. This is our yearly tradition."

Sarah glared at her like she was about to say _go to hell._ "I'm sure Brookey's fine with it," she replied sweetly, "Right, B?"

Brooke appeared to be understanding but there was a forlorn look in her eyes; it was no secret that she was unhappy about spending a couple hours alone with Angela. However, she'd done it before. It was simpler without Sarah. Brooke was good at answering and asking questions politely but neatly; Sarah was combative. "Sure, sure, I knew this would be a tough week for you."

"Oh crap!" Sarah exclaimed. "Livvie, my binder's at your place."

Olivia was dressing Noah in his windbreaker and stuffing his things in the dinosaur backpack, "That's ok. Just walk over with us. Your Dad's going to be late; we can order in if you want…that binder's pretty thick, I know you have a lot of work."

Angela locked eyes with Olivia and nodded to Noah, "Sorry you have to handle _two_ children tonight," she said snidely, "But I suppose you're used to it like I had to get used to it, nightly, when the girls were growing up. It's a terrible way to have to live."

Olivia zipped Noah's jacket and glared at her. "Actually, my life has never been better." She focused her attention on Noah, "Ok, sweet boy, we're going."

"See Daddy?"

"Not quite yet. Daddy's at police, but he'll be back later. He always comes home, baby." She shot Angela another stern glance and repeated, "He always comes home and he always will. Say thank-you to Brookey."

Noah gave Brooke a hug, thanked her, and returned her "I love you."

Sarah, who had darted back to her bedroom and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt, reappeared. She gave Brooke a quick hug. "Sorry sis, have a good dinner."

"You too."

Sarah gave Angela a terse goodbye and followed Olivia and Noah out of the apartment.

…..

"Good night noises, everywhere," Olivia read the last line of Goodnight Moon, but she waited to close the book. "Who else needs a goodnight, Noah?"

"Sarah and Brookey and Jeff." Olivia closed her eyes and wondered about the least harmful way to explain why Jeff would no longer be in their lives.

"Ok, good night, Sarah, Brooke, and Jeff. Who else?"

"Daddy."

"Yeah, Daddy. He'll come in and kiss you when he gets home."

"Goodnight, Daddy," Noah said again.

Olivia rocked him a little longer. Noah would be four this winter, and moments like this would start to become less and less common very soon. She wasn't anxious to put him in bed, she held him close, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, and thought about Angela's comment. Ed didn't talk much about his actual marriage other than the end of it, but she felt sorry for him whenever she encountered his ex-wife. She seemed difficult to please and far from the loving, attentive wife and mother Olivia tried to be. Ed didn't become a good husband and father because of Olivia—he had _always_ been one; only now, he was with a woman who could bring those qualities to the forefront instead of criticizing him for being a good man _and_ a good cop.

Noah and Olivia startled at the sound of the door opening. Probably assuming Noah was asleep, Ed remained silent except for the sound of him removing his shoes and jacket. His careful steps came closer.

"Hi Daddy!" Noah clambered out of the chair for a hug and a kiss. Ed scooped him up and came over to kiss Olivia.

"Hey you," he half-whispered.

She rubbed his forearm, "Hi."

"Should we ask Mom if we can read one more story?" He asked Noah, who nodded eagerly, sharing Ed's conspiratorial expression.

Olivia extricated herself from the chair and worked to remove Ed's holster. He relished the feel of her fingers against his waist. "I'll put this away and then I'm going to read a little bit. In bed," she added.

He smiled at her.

"Did you eat something?" she asked.

"I'm good."

"You didn't answer the question."

"Not really, but I'm not hungry. At least not for food."

Her mouth formed a shy smile, "There're leftovers in the fridge if you want. Goodnight, boys."

…..

Ed joined her in bed later, much later. She was still awake and reading. Ed looked at her sheepishly as he collapsed next to her. "Sorry, I kinda dozed off in the chair with him."

"It's nice, sitting with him like that, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is." Ed inched closer to her and played with the string on her pajama shorts. "What happened today?" He asked the question like he had advance information.

"What _happened_?"

"Brooke sent me a text," He looked around, "I left my phone in the kitchen, but it said something like, tell Olivia I'm so sorry, will explain later. I didn't read it until just before I walked in."

"Oh," Olivia chuckled a little bit, "She doesn't have to apologize. She was having dinner with Angela and Angela was at the apartment when I got Noah."

Ed groaned. "I'm sorry, Liv."

"Ed, it's going to happen every once in a while. It's not like she lives in the neighborhood."

"Thank God for that."

"We got out of there quickly."

"Good. Noah didn't seem traumatized when I asked about his day, so she must not have spent much time with him, not that she would talk to him anyway." Ed smacked his lips and moved even closer, "Let's not talk about her."

Olivia knew it wouldn't be long before he was completely on top of her and smothering her with kisses, so she figured she better bring up Sarah. "I had a drink with Sarah today."

"Again? Liv, I—"

" _Stop_. I told you and I told them, I _want_ to be there for them when they need me. But, Ed, she's struggling."

"I know."

"How do you know?"

"Liv, I'm her father and a cop. I can tell. And besides, she likes to act like everything's ok all the time and she ends up acting like she's _too ok_."

Olivia told him about the Facebook photos and Sarah's constant couple comparisons. "It was a little strange," Olivia said, "I told her about us, just getting started, you know, when I figured out you weren't constantly calling me…to… _interrogate_ me."

"Hey," Ed interrupted, "You called me too."

"Not as much as you called me."

"Ok. I surrender." His body was now flush with hers, and his fingers were exploring just under the elastic of the shorts.

She knew her time for talking was limited. "The way she described their early days…was strange…almost like they were, _acquaintances_ , who one day just decided to get married. I don't think she ever felt connected to him…you know, emotionally."

"She'll learn," he said before adding, "usually people learn that before they have engagement parties and weddings and honeymoons." To her surprise, Ed didn't start kissing her then. He spoke so hurriedly, she was sure the next thing he was going to do with his mouth was put it on her body. Instead, his voice softened, and he stammered, "I…I…didn't understand that connection until… _you_."

"You know what?" She said, smiling at him and running her fingers along his scalp. "I didn't either."

"Oh come on," he objected gently, "You had boyfriends."

"It's that old cliché—give and take. I was _giving_ most of the time. When you do that, it fosters resentment, not unity. And then," her voice cracked ever so slightly and she gazed into his eyes, "This guy, Tucker, he just kind of swooped in, and showed me how it was to _take_ every once in a while. And I liked it."

"It wasn't really a _swoop,_ " he corrected, "More like a slow jog, or maybe even a stroll. I wanted to kiss you for so long before I actually did it."

She recalled how nervous he'd been as he moved closer one night after he'd walked her home. "Why did it take you so long?" She teased, "Were you worried I'd run away?"

"Kinda."

"You may have been right."

Now he moved his lips along her shoulder and then her neck, "I'm glad I was patient," he murmured into her skin, "Because I started to want you so badly…even now, like right now, I _want_ you. You're so damn perfect."

That was enough chatting as far as she was concerned. Olivia clutched his biceps and pushed him on his back. She let out a triumphant chuckle at her successful usurpation of control and kissed him wildly as she pinned his arms above his head. He moaned with pleasure and laughed a little as he tried and failed to free himself from her grasp. He got his chance when she removed her shirt. He sat up and pressed his face to her chest, biting gently at her breasts, sucking the flesh into his mouth before he took over, laid her on her back, and then picked up in the exact spot where he'd left off. The rest of their clothes flew off in every direction as their collective desire heightened, and right before Ed thrust himself inside her, in between his kisses, he murmured, "Don't forget, we have a date tomorrow night."

Olivia screwed up her face. _That was, uh, a little out of the ordinary for that particular moment._

She dug her fingers into his back. _Come on_. But, he didn't move, he was absolutely frozen, until she gave him and equally mundane reply, "Noted, Captain. I'll be there."

…..

Olivia arrived at the precinct much later than usual the next morning. She had a few excuses, not that she needed them. Noah woke up too early and she cuddled with him in bed for a little while, fell back asleep, and didn't wake up until Ed nudged her. "Liv? Liv? Sorry, I didn't set my alarm, it's eight already."

She popped up and noticed Noah, too, had fallen back asleep.

"Go get ready." Ed replaced her in Noah's bed, his six-foot frame making the toddler bed look ridiculously small.

Then, on the way to work, she got an apology call from Brooke which took longer than expected, and she stopped and sipped her coffee, enjoying the pleasant spring morning as Brooke chatted away. Olivia wondered if Brooke had gone out after dinner with her mother; she sounded like she was either waking up from a night of drinking or was already having cocktails. Ed's older daughter was not usually this talkative, especially not on the phone.

Finally, she made a call she absolutely did not want to make around anyone she knew. This one was to Lindstrom to set up a consultation appointment for Sarah. Olivia didn't think she would want to see the same doctor, but Lindstrom could refer Sarah to someone else.

When she arrived in the squad room, Fin, Carisi, and Rollins had the appearance of people who were trying to look busy but really were not. They each had large coffees. Carisi brought in whatever Italian pastry he'd concocted the night before, and they exchanged idle chatter while staring at their laptops. Nobody was typing or had a hand on the mouse pad. Already thinking about her night out with her husband, Olivia sauntered in, said a breezy good morning, and parked herself at her desk before remembering her conversation with Chief Dodds.

"Rollins?" She called.

Amanda appeared. "Yes?"

"Close the door." No stranger to Lieutenant Benson's wrath, Rollins cringed and prepared for the worst, but Olivia kindly told her to have a seat. "First of all, Chief Dodds was impressed with your work on the bust. Well done. Carisi, too. I'll talk to him next."

"Thanks for telling me, Lieutenant."

"He mentioned something else, too."

Amanda looked at her expectantly. In one minute she'd been anxious, then proud, and now she was back to anxious. "What's that?"

"Declan…" Olivia drew out his name, hoping Rollins would maybe fill in some blanks. After Amanda secured the promotion, she told Olivia, in confidence, that Murphy was Jesse's father. Rollins wanted a fresh start, and she wanted absolutely no secrets between the two of them.

"Yeah, I haven't heard from him," Rollins said, "I wasn't expecting to. Not a good time for him to get away."

"Right. Chief Dodds mentioned something about that, or, at least about him trying to spend more time here in the U.S."

Rollins frowned, "I'm sure that's not going to happen."

"Look," Olivia said, "I don't need to know everything, but I do know that not having him consistently in the picture must be difficult. I know you have a great nanny and all, but, I just want you to know, I understand. I get it. You can talk to me, if you ever need to. Without judgment."

"Thanks, Liv. It's…complicated," Amanda rolled her eyes, "Obviously. But, thank you."

"You're welcome. Send Carisi in, will ya?"

"Sure."

Olivia sat back, a satisfied smirk on her face, finally adjusting to the whims of leadership, and feeling strong, powerful, and valued in both her personal and professional lives. Her squad was in sync and collecting accolade after accolade from the media and 1PP. It was all coming together.

As if that weren't enough, her handsome hostage negotiator husband would be waiting impatiently for her return later that evening.

It was date night.

…

 ** _#Tuckson date night coming soon!_**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ours**

Ed and Olivia kissed Noah goodbye and left him on the floor with Lucy and his toys. They had been heavily relying on Sarah and Brooke for childcare lately, and Ed was relieved when Lucy said she could stretch her normal day care pickup hours into the evening.

Olivia ditched her work attire for a casual version of work clothes—black jeans and teal blouse under a fitted leather biker jacket. She clipped her hair back in a messy updo and reapplied her makeup, darkening it just a little, before adding the finishing touch—burgundy lip gloss. She felt bad that she had to rush to get ready and thought she looked just ok, but Ed licked his lips when he saw her emerge from the bedroom.

"My date," he said, coming to her for a kiss, "I almost want to just stay _here_ now, but other people deserve to see you, too." He cringed a little, hoping she didn't mistake the compliment for objectification. Immediately he was relieved because she merely blushed, kissed him once again, and made her own assessment.

"Did we plan to wear each other's gifts?" She adjusted the collar of his light blue hounds tooth shirt, one of his Christmas presents. The leather jacket was her birthday gift from him.

"Coincidence," he answered, only managing to tear his eyes away from her because they'd walked from the back hall to the living room and he felt Lucy and Noah staring at them, probably wondering when they were going to leave.

Once they were on the street, Olivia realized she had no clue where they were going.

"Maysville," Ed informed her.

 _Is that a town?_ "Never heard of it."

Ed stepped off the curb, hailing a cab, "They have over fifty types of bourbon."

"Sounds interesting," Olivia said, "And…different." They did spend an awful lot of time in pubs, or, when the occasion called, a slightly more upscale bistro. The bourbon bar was totally new to them.

The restaurant looked like a whiskey cellar with its shiny oak paneled walls—not the dingy, crumbling paneling of Ed's favorite dive bars. The light fixtures cast a golden hue throughout the space; it was neither too bright nor too dark. "Do you mind if we sit at the bar?" Ed asked, "I know it's not very, dateish, but Cole said it's better at the bar."

" _Date-ish_?"

"Yeah, like, acceptable for a _date_."

"Oh." Olivia grinned at him, "I don't mind. And I'm glad you talked to Cole. How is he?"

"He misses me."

"Of course he does."

"But, other than that, he's good."

The bartender approached and slid food and drink menus in front of them. He introduced himself and offered to help navigate the endless list of whiskeys and bourbons. Ed's response surprised Olivia. "I'll tell you what, can you put together some type of pairing? Like, a few of these small plates each with an ounce of a different bourbon?"

"Sure, sir. How about you pick the small plates and I'll match the drinks for you?"

"Sounds good. Just give us a few minutes." He noticed Olivia's expression. "What?"

"Nothing. That was a great idea. I've…never seen you leave everything up to a waiter before. And, you hated tapas."

Ed screwed up his face, "The bourbon list is almost _too_ long. And, the tapas service was annoying. They brought the plates too fast, we started eating and then the next round came, I felt _rushed_."

Olivia leaned over and kissed his cheek, "We won't rush you tonight, Captain."

He returned her smile, but it wasn't simply a smile. It was the endearing expression he reserved only for Olivia, and it involved his whole face. The skin around his blue eyes crinkled, and his chiseled cheekbones seemed to melt as the corners of his lips turned upwards. It captivated her. When he looked at her like that, the moment became only about the two of them and absolutely nothing else.

She used to feel guilty, feeling this irresistible connection to Ed, because if Ed was her world then, what about Noah? Wasn't her world supposed to revolve around him?

Doctor Lindstrom talked her through it. "Olivia," he had said, "You are Ed's wife and he is your husband. You are Noah's mother, and Ed is his father. You and Ed _must_ be irrevocably connected for Noah to thrive. You loving Ed and Ed loving you only adds to the love bestowed upon Noah. It's the good thing about human beings, we never run out of love to give."

Ed saw her drifting off into her thoughts and he brushed her cheek with his index finger, "Everything ok?"

She tried to replicate his adoring stare, "Absolutely."

"You sure?" Olivia had a history of saying she was fine but feeling otherwise.

"Yes, I was thinking about how happy I am."

 _That smile again_.

The bartender came over with their first round. He explained the vintage and the aging process and took their food orders. Olivia, amused, looked on as Ed emphasized how important it was that everything not arrive all at once. The bartender assured him it would not. They sipped and savored the spicy liquor; Ed remarked he didn't taste a difference from what he normally ordered.

Olivia disagreed, "This is way smoother than anything I've had."

Ed twisted himself around so one leg was touching hers. "Hey, guess what I bought today?"

"Hmmm, something for the new place?"

"Yep."

"Not the fixtures."

"Nah, I wouldn't do that without you."

"Then I have no idea."

Ed took out his phone and found a picture. "This."

"The Whole Family Cookbook," Olivia read slowly. "You bought it?"

"Yeah, I thought, since we're going to have this huge new kitchen, we should start cooking more," Ed explained shyly, suddenly thinking his wife thought his idea was more annoying and burdensome than cute and thoughtful.

Olivia kissed him again, tasting a hint of bourbon on his lips, "I can't wait."

He shot her a relieved grin, "I flipped through it. A lot of pictures and simple stuff. I don't know if I can follow the directions, but at least Noah probably can," he joked.

They talked more about moving and which furniture to take and which to discard. Olivia pointed out that Ed could finally have his old leather couch back, but he furrowed his brow. "I don't know if I wanna bring that over."

"Why not?"

"I feel like everything should be new, ours, ya know?"

"Think about it," Olivia suggested. "It'll fit perfectly in the office."

Their first plate arrived, a flatbread, which they both raved about. " _See_ ," Ed said, "We could make something like this; it's not complicated."

Olivia lightly ran her fingertips over his thigh, "I'm on board with the cooking."

"I don't know," he bantered, "You seem a little pessimistic about it. But…you have two weeks to get used to the idea."

 _Is he under the impression we're going right from closing to the kitchen?_

As they sipped their second round of bourbon, Ed cleared his throat. He was jittery tonight. "Brooke called me today," he said.

"She called me too."

"To apologize?"

Olivia nodded, "I don't know why she feels like she has to do that. We were in the same room with Angela for maybe ten minutes. We handled it."

Ed fidgeted, "She's worried that Angela will somehow make you not want to be around them as much."

Olivia screwed up her face, " _What_?" She replied incredulously.

"I told her she was being ridiculous."

"That is so far away from how I feel," Olivia said, "Seeing her makes me want to spend _more_ time with Brooke and Sarah."

Ed laughed knowingly, "Angela's never, exactly, greeted her daughters with open arms, if you know what I mean."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about her?"

Ed pursed his lips thoughtfully, "We're not, usually, but it came up. It's out there, so we should talk about it, right?"

He was right and Olivia acknowledged his wisdom. "That's true." She paused, sensing there was more to what he wanted to say.

"You're such a good mother, Liv. The kids _know_ you love them; I can't help but wonder, if Angela coulda been just a little more affectionate, if Brooke and Sarah would, well, if they would have, well, better relationships."

From the beginning, Olivia assumed Brooke simply had little time for a social life, and Sarah had always been in Philadelphia and was with Jeff, so she figured they had a robust network of friends there. "Do you mean with boyfriends or with everyone?" She asked gently, knowing he was uncomfortable discussing this kind of stuff.

"Everyone. Even when they were younger, they had friends, but never _best friends._ Except each other. And then when one of them had a boyfriend," he grinned, "not that I was _ever_ happy about that, it never lasted long. I thought one of them would go to college and come back with something serious, but neither one of them ever _mentioned_ a guy. Even after they knew I wouldn't kill him." His smile faded into solemnity. "Somewhere along the line, they both learned, unfortunately, not to completely trust other people. They push them away."

Hearing him extract these deep-seated and philosophical concerns about his beloved daughters both heartened and devastated Olivia. " _Ed_."

He squeezed her thigh and the smile returned, "But they trust _you_."

She covered his hand with hers. "Good."

"I've never seen them _pursue_ anyone."

"Now you're flattering me."

Ed gripped her hand tightly, his grasp on her ring finger was particularly strong, "You need to know how important you are."

Another small plate and more drinks were delivered then, but neither Ed nor Olivia paid attention. _You need to know how important you are._ That sentence knocked the breath from her lungs, and she gaped at Ed, mouth slightly open, completely astonished. Ed, meanwhile, wore the unmistakable Tucker smirk; he also raised his eyebrows a little, sort of competitively, as if to challenge her. _Top that._

"I don't know what to say."

He moved in for a kiss, "You don't always have to _say_ , ya know."

The kiss lasted long enough that even the most self-involved patrons took notice. Ed was so dizzy with passion that he almost suggested they do something crazy like head back to one of the restrooms together or check in to a nearby hotel for the night because he just couldn't wait to get her home. The thoughts caused him to chuckle a bit, ending the kiss, and Olivia asked, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

" _What_?"

He whispered in her ear, "Have you ever _done it_ in a restaurant bathroom?"

Olivia swatted his chest. "No. And if you're asking—"

"I'm not." But his expression suggested otherwise.

Olivia turned back to the bourbon and food, "Can you wait until we get home?"

"Yeah, yeah…I'm ok. But, I think I wanna _dance_ with you."

She smiled, loving how scattered he was when in the throes of a romantic mood. "We'll finish here and go do that. Someplace closer to home? Just in case?"

He grinned shyly and dropped his head in mock embarrassment, "Good idea."

….

Ed and Olivia didn't exactly stumble onto the street, but after five bourbons they each felt pleasantly buzzed and had to concentrate to steady themselves. Ed was working out in his mind where he wanted to take her for a few rounds on the dance floor when Olivia asked whether or not they were taking a taxi; their neighborhood was three miles away.

"Not yet," Ed said, "Let's walk for a little bit." He took her hand. The nighttime air was balmy and they strolled along in silence for a block or two with pleasant expressions on their faces, as if they shared a precious secret. Ed broke the silence only when they passed a heaping pile of broken down boxes awaiting morning pickup. "We probably should think about packing," he remarked.

Olivia laughed at their procrastination, "We probably should."

"I scheduled the moving company, but I figured we'd pack everything ourselves. Do you want them to do it?"

"No."

She wasn't saying much. "You alright?"

Olivia released his hand and, instead, linked her arm around his so she could be closer to him. "Just thinking about the last time I moved. The circumstances were so different."

Ed wasn't sure how to respond. Olivia had walked him through every excruciating detail of the William Lewis saga, but Ed tensed and cringed since he knew her last move came on the heels of him holding her hostage. The current apartment had also been home to Brian Cassidy who infuriated Ed for no other reason than he had once been Olivia's boyfriend, and, in his opinion, was not at all good enough for her. Ed hated thinking about another man loving Olivia Margaret Benson because _he_ loved her best.

"Yeah they were," he murmured, kissing her cheek as they walked.

She sensed his discomfort, "Ed, it's ok. I'm thrilled right now. We're getting _our_ home, and, really, with all the renovations, starting from scratch. It's completely _ours_."

"We should get a new bed."

"Brian never slept in the bed we have now," Olivia informed him, knowing what he was thinking and also a little surprised he'd never brought it up before. "I got a new mattress after we broke up. _You're_ the only man who's ever been in it."

"And the only man who _will_ ever be there."

Olivia stopped them in the middle of the sidewalk on Broadway and kissed him hard. "That's right."

"I changed my mind," Ed said, "I still want to dance with you, but let's do it at home."

…..

They looked in on Noah and went to the bedroom where Ed played soft jazz music and dimmed the lights. He held his arms out for Olivia, and she melted into his body and placed her head on his shoulder. They swayed in the small space between the bed and the closet and the moonlight drifted in, creating a hazy blue-gray ambiance.

"Brooke told me how you handled Angela."

 _This again?_

"Mmmmmm," Olivia moaned, hoping he would change the subject.

"If she ever says something like that to you again, I'm—"

"No you're not," Olivia mumbled, still glued to his shoulder, "Let it go."

"She—"

"She's unhappy. And I'm not."

" _We're_ not."

Olivia leaned back, "I love you," she cooed.

Ed responded by kissing her deeply, and he wasted no time removing her blouse and then unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans. She reciprocated, fumbling with his belt and shirt buttons before breaking away from him momentarily to fling his t-shirt over his head. She put her palms on his chest and resumed the languid kiss until Ed impatiently yet gently ushered them to the bed.

Date night ended with Ed making love to her so tenderly, Olivia was certain he worried about breaking her. Even when she asserted herself and rolled on top of him, he whispered, "slow down," and gently clasped her hips so he could temper her pace. Eyes closed, he savored her skin's softness and the feel of his arousal inside of her. He moved one hand between her legs, desperately wanting them to climax at the same time. He was close, and, as she defied his grip, moving more aggressively against him, he knew she was, too.

Moans.

Gasps.

" _Ed_."

" _Olivia_."

"I love you."

…..

Olivia grabbed her vibrating phone and saw it was Rollins calling. She threw on her robe and waited until she was out of the bedroom to answer.

Amanda frantically explained to her that Jesse had been up half the night with some type of stomach virus and her pediatrician told her to take the one-year-old to the emergency room. Olivia comforted her, explaining the doctor was probably worried about dehydration, but urged Rollins to put her family first and not to worry about coming in to work.

"We have it covered," Olivia assured her, "Take care of Jesse."

"Lieu—"

" _Amanda_ , get to the hospital. Now. Check in with me later."

Olivia hung up, made a cup of coffee, and carried it back to the bedroom. On the way, she peeked at Noah who was still fast asleep. Also appearing to be in a deep slumber was Ed who insisted on sleeping naked. When Olivia returned from the bathroom last night wearing her customary shorts and tank top, he frowned and whined, "Take it _off_." After she undressed and crawled under the covers with him, he wrapped his arms and legs around her possessively and almost instantly fell asleep.

Olivia hadn't been back in bed for five minutes before she felt Ed's hand wander over to her side of the bed and come to rest on her thigh. She ignored it, and he responded by sliding his hand higher. Still no reaction. He inched it higher, effectively between her legs now, and her stoicism finally crumbled.

"Good morning," she said through a chuckle.

"Morning." He grumbled into the pillow, keeping his eyes closed.

"What are you doing?"

"I want sex."

Olivia was still coolly perusing articles on her phone. An outside observer would have no idea that her husband's fingers were almost inside her.

"Noah will be up soon."

"Then we better hurry."

…..

Friday was filled with cases and calls for both the Special Victims Unit and the Hostage Negotiation Team, but Ed and Olivia did manage to send texts back and forth at various points throughout the day. When they were both at home on Friday nights, their routine was to order in and have the girls over for cards or board games, but this particular night's get together appeared to be in doubt until Rollins breezed in just before five.

"Amanda," Olivia greeted her with surprise. She hadn't had contact with her Sergeant since the morning's phone call, "I wasn't expecting you. How's Jesse?"

"She's home. Better. Antibiotics and Pedialyte. Busy day?"

"Sort of."

"Well, I'm here now…thanks for covering for me…I think Fin and I can handle things tonight."

Olivia was skeptical, since Carisi was not scheduled for duty either, but she wanted to get home and Rollins could always call if she needed the Lieutenant. Olivia gathered a few items, thinking about how, just a couple years ago, she would have been stubbornly reluctant to leave. "Ok, then. But keep me in the loop."

"Of course. Have a good night."

On her way out, Olivia called Ed about dinner which he'd already ordered. Sarah and Brooke would be at the apartment soon, and Noah was occupied with his train set. Ed reported that they only had one bottle of wine left, so Olivia stopped at the market and picked up another bottle and some Prosecco for Sarah, hoping she still liked it. Everyone was at the apartment when she arrived.

"Livvie!" Sarah exclaimed and rushed to give her a hug.

"Hey, Sare," She said as she absorbed the contact and tried not to drop the bags.

From the couch, Brooke said hello and mentioned that Sarah had a head start on the drinks. "The fat dork head of her team took everyone out for cocktails after work," she explained, using Sarah's moniker for her boss.

Olivia disentangled herself from Sarah and Ed took the bags from her, including her purse which he carefully hung on the coat rack.

"Brooke, not that I'm not happy to see you, but I thought you had plans tonight?"

Brooke's expression betrayed her disappointment. "Sonny had to…he's helping Rollins out with Jesse."

Sarah sat down in a huff next to Brooke, "That dude is _too_ nice."

"He wants to please everybody," Brooke said.

Sarah frowned, "Well, apparently everybody except you. That's bullshit."

" _Sarah_ ," Ed snarled, "Watch the language."

" _I told you_ ," Brooke implored, "We're not serious. We were just going to hang out and watch a movie."

"So he skips out on your Netflix and chill to go take care of a sick baby? Interesting choice."

Ed glanced at Olivia curiously and she whispered in his ear, "Chill means sex." She noticed his ears redden and wondered how long it would be before he employed the new slang.

"Well," Olivia said brightly, "I'm glad we're all together. What did we order for dinner?"

"Italian," Ed answered, "You want wine?"

"Yes!" Sarah answered.

"I was actually asking my wife, but I'll get you a glass, too."

"Sarah, I got you Prosecco."

"Even better!"

Ed delivered the drinks, first to Sarah then to Olivia. He teased her, offering the glass and then taking it away only relenting after Olivia kissed him. "Food should be here any minute." He said, "Hungry?"

"Starrrrvvvved!" Sarah said.

Ed remained within inches of Olivia's face, "Why did we invite her?"

Olivia gave him a quick peck on the lips, "She's always invited. And, yes, I'm hungry."

"I got you the lobster ravioli."

"You're the best."

Sarah elbowed Brooke and whispered, " _Lookit_."

Brooke was paying attention to the news and not to her father and Olivia. "What?"

"They're so _cuuuuute_."

Sarah gushing over the two of them was getting old. "Have another drink, sis," Brooke said, "and, mind your own business, will ya?"

Sarah dismissed her sister's advice and instead focused her attention on Noah. "Whatcha doin, Noey Boey?"

"Playin trains."

"Can I play?"

"Sure, Sarah. You have the green train."

"I want blue."

"No. That's mine. I'm the blue train."

"Ok, fine. Wanna race?"  
"I beat you. Blue train goes fast!"

Sarah and Noah circled the Brio train track over and over again until Sarah collapsed into the bean bag. "That's enough for me, brother bear."

"I winned!" Noah shouted. He ran to Olivia and Ed who were on the opposite from Brooke on one end of the couch. "I winned!" He exclaimed again.

"You won! Great job, bud!" Ed lifted him into his lap and tickled away.

Noah giggled and threw his body towards Olivia who alternated kissing each cheek. "Ahhhhh!" Noah shrieked, "Brookey! Help!"

Brooke looked over, "Sorry sweetie, I don't think I want to get in there. But," she heard the knock on the door, "You're saved by the food."

They ate at the dining table and finished the first bottle of wine. After dinner, the game of choice was Rummy, which they played until Sarah could no longer shuffle the cards. "Ah, I'm out," she slurred, "I never win at this game anyway. Letswatchamovie."

Ed started to object, but Olivia spoke first, "Yeah, good idea. Let me get Noah in bed, you three choose." It was well past Noah's regular bedtime, and he offered no protest when Olivia picked him up. She made a lap around the table so everyone could kiss him goodnight and then disappeared into the back of the apartment.

Sarah teetered to the counter and refilled her glass with wine from the second bottle. She'd already polished off the Prosecco. "Daaaaaaady," She droned, taking a place next to him on the couch and putting her head on his shoulder. Ed, annoyed, didn't return her affection.

"What?" He grumbled.

"I need a favorrrrr."

Olivia returned and sat on the other side of Ed with her wine.

"Livvie," Sarah said, "I need to borrow Daddy for a weekend."

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Why's that?" Olivia asked.

"I need to get my stuff from Philadelphia, and I want Daddy to drive me and go with me."

"I told you I would take you," Brooke scoffed. "Dad and Olivia are moving. They don't have time for this."

Ed groaned, "Can it wait until after we move?"

"Or next weekend," Olivia suggested, "We don't close until the next week."

Another groan. "I can probably do that."

Sarah slung an arm across his waist, giving him an awkward hug, "Thank you Daddy. I don't want to go alone. I don't know what Jeff will be like."

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "You don't think he'll get violent, do you?"

Sarah took a drink and some wine dribbled down her chin. She wiped it with the back of her hand and waved the glass around as she babbled until Ed took it from her. "He's not gonna hit me or anything, but he can be mean and nasty and if Daddy's there with his gun and all he'll be nice I know he's gonna be mad about the wedding presents and I really want some of the things, WAIT! Am I supposed to give all that stuff _back_?"

She didn't wait for an answer.

"I really should go there with some other guy. Like a _hot_ guy, maybe I'll ask someone in my office, some young hot intern and he can go with me and I can tell Jeff, you…fucking…asshole…you wanna fuckaroundonme? I can play that game."

"Sarah, tone it down," Ed reprimanded.

"And don't be ridiculous," Brooke snapped, "You're not going to hire an escort to go get your things. And grow up, too. You're acting like my sixth graders."

Sarah stood up and jabbed an accusatory finger at her sister, "Don't tell me what to do, _Sonny_. You're not so good at love, _either_ , are you?"

"I'm not running out to find somebody else and parade him into the precinct to make Sonny jealous."

"Well, maybe you should," Sarah gulped down the rest of her wine, tripped over Noah's trains, and somewhat gracefully came to rest in the beanbag, "Livvie?"

"Yes, dear?" Olivia was now leaning on Ed, feeling the effects of the wine and food. His arm was draped across her. In his other hand was a glass of bourbon.

"What would you do if someone _cheated_ on you? Like your husband?"

" _Sarah_ ," Ed sneered again even more sternly than before. "Stop it."

"Oh, Daddy, I know you would never do that I was speaking hypolectically."

" _Hypothetically_ ," Brooke corrected.

Olivia answered, "I would have my Dad take me to get my things, and file for divorce, _if_ , that's indeed what happened and what you want."

"Divorce." Sarah rolled over into Noah's toys and when she revealed her face again, tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I'm an _ex-wife_. A failure. And you," she clumsily gestured towards Ed and Olivia, "I want to be like you guys, all lovey-dovey and, Just. So. Fucking. Committed. _Brooke_."

"What?"

"Don't you wanna be like Mom and Livvie?"

"You mean _Dad_ and Livvie?"

Sarah giggled, "Oh, yeah, nobody wants to be like fucking _mom_. Livvie, you're my mom now, fuck, uh, what's my former mom's name? Oh fuck it who cares."

Brooke was snarky, "I guess we're not watching that movie?"

"Oh yes we are," Sarah jumped up but nearly fell over the coffee table. "Who wants a cocktail? I'm mixing. Divorce calls for vodka."

"We don't have vodka," Ed informed her.

Sarah widened her eyes and leaned down to Ed's face, "Well, I don't believe you, Daddio," she touched the tip of his nose with her index finger and grinned at him. "You know you wanna laugh."

Ed broke into a tiny smile, "What I want is for you to not fall on us."

"And I want vodka," Sarah sat on the couch and cuddled up to Olivia. Ed looked over at Brooke helplessly. Soon, Sarah was snoring.

"I'm gonna leave her here and go if that's alright with you two," Brooke said.

"Uh-uh," Ed said, "She can stay here, but I'll take you home."

"Don't drive, Ed," Olivia warned.

"Of course not." Ed stood up and leaned down for a kiss. Sarah's head was in Olivia's lap and Olivia cradled her as if she were much younger and smaller. "And then," he whispered in her ear, "maybe we can _chill_?"

Olivia laughed and kissed him. "Very good," she complimented.

Brooke pulled on her jacket in the foyer and pretended not to hear the amorous banter.

…

"Thanks for walking me, Dad, but you really don't have to," Brooke said as they headed towards Ed's old apartment.

"Yes I do. It's late. My sweet girl isn't walking home alone."

Brooke hugged him to her side. "I'm sorry about Sarah. I should've told her to stay home. She was half crocked when she got home from work today."

"It's not your job to be her babysitter."

"I know, but she has so much going on right now. That new job, I think, is challenging her more than she thought. She's going out with people every night."

"Burning the candle at both ends."

"Absolutely. And then this whole thing with Jeff…"

"You think she's right? Was he having an affair?"

Brooke shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think it matters. Sarah isn't innocent in all of this. She blames Jeff for everything, but she was the one complaining about Philly all the time and then basically lying to him about kids and about her job."

"Lying?"

"Before they were married she let him think she was cool with having kids soon, then, afterwards, she flipped and changed her mind. And she would say she was working late but really she was going out or even just hanging at a coworkers house because she hates, and I mean _hates_ being a wife."

"Then why in the hell did she get married? And what do you even mean by that?"

Brooke laughed, "Jeff's traditional. He liked to have dinner, like, at the table and stuff and _talk_ every night. I think she thought, when they got married, that they would still be like they were when they first got together, but he was ready to settle down, he's almost thirty, ya know, and once she saw him digging in his heels on the whole family thing, she freaked."

"All things that shoulda been discussed _before_ they got married."

"The damage is done, but she knows that now."

"Good. Hopefully she won't make the same mistake twice." They crossed over into the Forties and as they got closer to the apartment, Ed worked up the nerve to ask about Carisi. "Is, uh, everything alright with you?"

"You mean with Sonny?"

"Yeah."

Brooke felt around in her pockets in search of her cigarettes. "You don't happen to have any smokes, do you?"  
"Is it that bad?" Ed joked.

"No, it's not. Do you have one or not?"

"No, I haven't smoked in probably a year."

Brooke ducked into a bodega and purchased a pack of Marlboro Lights. She lit her cigarette and got back on topic. "Sonny is a nice guy, but he has a lot going on. I like him a lot, and we have fun together, but I don't think it's _going_ anywhere."

"Why not?"

"You know all that shit Sarah's always saying about you and Olivia? How she looooovvves you two so much because you looooooove each other so much?"

Ed nodded and rolled his eyes, "Of course."

"Well, she's right. She's annoying about it. But, she's right."

Somewhat surprised to hear Brooke say this, Ed looked at her, wide-eyed. "We're just being… _us_."

Brooke gave him a playful shove, "You don't have to apologize or justify anything. My point is that I don't see me and Sonny ever getting to where the two of you are. That's what I want. And what Sarah wants. So, why waste my time with this guy who I don't think will ever look at me the way you look at Olivia."

Ed pondered this as they approached the entrance to her building. He wrapped Brooke in an embrace and kissed the top of her head. "Just remember, Brookey, you _deserve_ that type of love. Don't settle for anything less."

"I won't, Daddy."

 _Daddy_ was unusual for Brooke to use, so Ed tightened his grip and prolonged the hug for a few more seconds.

"You want me to walk you up?"

"No, I'm good. Night, Dad. Thanks."

"Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you, too."

…..

Olivia had tucked a blanket around Sarah and put a pillow under her head. The room was dark except for the light above the sink. Ed took his bourbon glass, gave himself a refill, and went to the bedroom. The walk and conversation had taken longer than planned, and on the way back Ed predicted his wife would be asleep and he chuckled thinking about how they would have to postpone "chilling" until, if he was lucky, tomorrow morning. Sure enough, Olivia was asleep on top of the covers, as if she had been trying to stay awake until he returned.

He gently removed her reading glasses and put her phone on the nightstand, toggling the side switch so that the sound was muted. From his side of the bed, he tugged the sheet and comforter from under her body, she stirred a little, but then nestled into her pillow as Ed covered her.

Sipping his bourbon, he stood in front of the window and stared out contemplatively into the starry black sky hovering over the city. In ten days his bedroom view would be completely different, and Ed was almost giddy when he thought about Olivia talked about the new place being completely _theirs_. From the time he moved in with her and Noah, he had always felt comfortable, but there was something intensely special about creating this fresh home with his wife and son.

He downed the rest of the bourbon, considered another refill, but opted to call it a night instead. He stripped down to his underwear and crawled into bed, making sure to cause as little disruption to Olivia as possible. Nevertheless, as he closed his eyes and felt fatigue cascade down upon him, he also felt her roll over, and reach out for him. Apparently, he wasn't the only one needing the feel of his body against hers in order to completely surrender to sleep.

…

 _#Tuckson_

 _Fair warning: It will be a little while before the next update. Busy times ahead :-(_


	11. Chapter 11

_Ok here we go. Still April, 2017. This chapter deals with the resolution of the Terrence Reynolds shooting (which occurred in August 2015). Since our legal system actually moves at a glacial pace, I don't think the gap in time is terribly unrealistic. This chapter and the next one aren't total #Tuckson fluff, but I wanted to tackle the resolution to Community Policing (one of my favorite eps ever) and make yet another attempt to sort out how OMB and IABET became our beloved #Tuckson. If you've read my other stories, you know I've explored many theories and timelines related to how they got together, in this chapter (but mostly the next one) I explore yet another angle. Much love and thanks to_ _ **bm89**_ _for allowing me to take/steal/borrow the Carisi idea which is hinted at here and continued in the next installment. Enjoy!_

 _ **Void**_

The police barricades and a line of uniformed police officers holding ballistics shields corralled the mass of people who crowded near the courthouse steps on the sunny spring afternoon. The jury assigned to Campesi and Donlan's manslaughter trial had been deliberating for over three days, and each morning demonstrators arrived before dawn and stayed until someone informed them the panel called it quits for the night. So far, everything stayed peaceful, but, sensing a dawdling jury indicated acquittal, some of the more vocal attendees' language became increasingly more militant. The city was on edge.

A few blocks away at 1PP, Captain Ed Tucker watched live news coverage with the Deputy Commissioner of Public Information and the Chief of Community Affairs. Tucker knew the two men well. Hank Abraham's replacement was an old buddy from the Police Academy, and the Community Affairs Chief once worked with Tucker at IAB. Every officer and every department was on alert, including ESU and Hostage Negotiation; as the trial concluded, Ed had been in his office more than he'd been at home, prepared and alert. Who knew what type of crazy scenarios would spin off from the trial's fallout?

"So, Tucker, you miss IAB?"

"Do I miss being the most hated man in the NYPD? No."

"Now you're a hero," The Deputy Commissioner said, "You've been in the newspaper how many times in the past year?"

"I don't keep track of that stuff. I think my kids do, though."

"Hey, speaking of kids," the Chief interjected, "How's your boy?"

Thinking of Noah, Ed smiled. "He's great, getting big."

"You gotta get him out and throw the ball around while we have this nice weather."

"Yeah," Ed sniffed, "If I can ever go home again. We actually just closed on a new place, speaking of home."

"Congratulations! Same neighborhood?"

"Yeah, almost exactly between my old place and hers. In the middle of renovations now, paint, new flooring, kitchen's all brand new."

The Deputy Commissioner let out a long breath that almost sounded like a whistle, "Man did you ever get lucky. You know how many cops have had their eyes on Benson?"

"How many?"

"Well, there's the two of us—" He grinned slyly.

Ed glared at him.

"Just kidding, Tucker, just kidding. But, really, she's great. I've met her a few times over the years, always so, well, professional but she makes you feel…good, if you don't mind me saying."

Tucker shrugged a little. _No I don't mind, but dial it down a little, pal._

The Chief redirected the conversation, "Musta been hard for her…dealing with Dodds' passing. I mean, her boss's son and all. On his last day. I can't imagine losing one of my guys…but like _that_." He shook his head in disbelief.

"She's tough," Ed muttered, not intending to let on how devastated Olivia had been and how much she blamed herself for Mike's death. It had been almost a full year since the close job at Munson's went south, and she was still recovering.

"I can't believe Chief Dodds stayed on. I would at least need to take some time off."

Tucker thought about Dodds, unmarried and alone, and surmised, "Probably easier for him to bury himself in work."

"Maybe."

Ed's phone vibrated. It was a message from Olivia.

 _Jury's back_.

"Gentlemen," he announced dramatically, "Brace yourselves. We have a verdict."

….

The pared-down SVU squad gathered in Olivia's office, all four pairs of eyes glued to the television. While the reporters recapped the case and the circumstances, they stood shoulder-to-shoulder, arms folded, knowing in a few moments Manhattan could erupt into a cauldron of unrest. Even though tension coursed through the room, the Lieutenant glanced at her squad from the corner of her eye and felt a sense of unity she hadn't experienced since Cragen and Munch were around. Finally, they were getting along. Rollins transitioned to Sergeant seamlessly, as if she were always meant for the job. Fin was the same old Fin but now with an additional layer of contentment in his life since his grandson was born, and he'd developed a dose of patience for Carisi. Sonny's plans to become an ADA seemed to be pushed farther and farther down the road. He continued to grow as a detective, so much so that Olivia wondered if, when she finally retired, he and Rollins would possibly move up to command SVU.

Today they stood loyal to Donlan and Campesi. All four of them testified at trial and all four endured intense questioning by Barba. It wasn't exactly as combative as what happened in front of the grand jury, but Rafael seemed less intent on proving his point this time, perhaps because he _couldn't_ prove it. The manslaughter charge was an overreach, he knew he couldn't prove the officers intended to kill Terrence Reynolds that night, and, thus, Barba was in a tough spot. He would be vilified in the media for failing to get convictions he legally could not get.

It was no surprise when the news filtered out of the courtroom.

Not guilty.

The four of them took a collective breath.

"What now, Liv?" Fin asked for no other reason than to break the silence.

"We wait and see what happens."

"Well, I'll bet dollars to donuts they drop the charges against Dumas now," Carisi said. "Not guilty on all counts for these two? And they emptied their clips? No way they'll get a conviction for Dume."

Rollins raised her eyebrows, "Yeah, but Campesi and Donlan…they're not gonna want to work in New York now. They have targets on their backs. Dume, too."

Olivia, who struggled internally with the case, shook her head and repeated what she'd been thinking since the indictments were handed down last year, "Nothing positive will come of this. Nothing."

"Nope," Carisi muttered.

"Guys, I have to run home for a bit," Olivia said, "Noah's going out tonight with his sisters and I have to get him ready. I'll be back in an hour or so." Olivia hurried out of the precinct and drove to the apartment, the contents of which were mostly in boxes. Moving day was in one week, and it couldn't come soon enough. Neither Ed nor Olivia considered themselves neat freaks, but the chaos was getting to them.

When she arrived at home, Lucy had just finished drying Noah's hair and Olivia thanked her profusely for once again staying later than previously scheduled.

"No problem," she cooed, combing his hair with her fingers, "He's going to love Lion King. I've seen it twice."

"Mommy, I go to the thee-et-ah with Sarah and Brookey!" Noah made sure to slowly and properly enunciate _theatre_ with a slight British accent the way Sarah taught him after she surprised him with the tickets.

"We shall wear our finest clothes and have yet another Noah-Sarah date!" She announced brightly as she pranced around, "Oh, and, of course, we're taking Brooke along as well."

Olivia kissed his head, "I know, sweet boy, you're going to have such a good time! Remember, it's not like on TV. Real people will have costumes on."

"Nala and Simba be there?"

"Of course. You'll see. You'll be a good boy, right?"

"Yes! I be a good boy on the date!" Noah bellowed his best lion roar.

Lucy laughed and gathered her things. Seconds after she left, Sarah and Brooke waltzed in, both attired in floral print dresses, sporting fresh makeup and carefully curled hair. Sarah's longer blonde locks fell in waves along her shoulders while Brooke's long bob was in tighter spirals. They were radiant.

"Is the young man ready?" Sarah asked.

"Not quite," Olivia said, giving each of them a gentle hug so she didn't smear anything, "You two look beautiful!"

"Thanks! We will never look as good as Noah, but we tried," Brooke said.

"Let me put the finishing touches on him. It'll just be a few minutes."

While Olivia prepped Noah, Sarah helped herself to some wine and drank it from a coffee mug. Brooke gave her a dirty look, but Sarah brushed off the admonition. "A few sips—that's it. Chill out. I haven't had anything today." Sarah finished gulping her pre-show libation just as Olivia returned with Noah.

"Omigod, omigod, _OMIGOD_."

Brooke put a hand over her gaping mouth.

Olivia beamed at her son. He wore his new seersucker suit, crisp white shirt with a navy and yellow bow tie, and light tan Sperry topsiders. Olivia put a little gel in his hair and, instead of combing it neatly to the side, tousled it a little.

"I ready for Lion King, sisters!" Noah giggled and held out his hands for them to each take one, "Let's go!"

"Hang on a second, guys, I want to get a picture before you leave." A call from Ed came in as she was focusing. "It's your Dad. One minute."

"Hey, Ed."

Sarah and Brooke noticed Olivia's face fall and lose color, and her responses consisted mostly of "uh-huhs" and "oks" and "I sees." Brooke went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder as she concluded the call. "Be careful, Ed. I love you."

"Livvie, what's wrong?"

Olivia swallowed and tried to smile. "I'm sure…you know about the trial verdict today."

Sarah looked clueless, but Brooke nodded, "Yeah, the cops who killed the kids in the projects. Not guilty. I wasn't really paying attention to the trial, but a few of the teachers at my school are going to be furious."

"That's the one," Olivia said, "Your Dad's team has been assigned to the Clayton Powell Houses to keep order for the evening." Her tone was more sharp and professional than either of the girls had ever heard and it made them nervous. Their Livvie was struggling to maintain her composure.

"What does 'keep order' mean?" Brooke asked.

"Right now, just being there."

Sarah failed to realize the gravity of the situation, "I thought he was in hostage negotiation. Why does he have to go if there's nobody holding a gun to someone's head?"

Brooke shot her an annoyed glance and then looked down at Noah whose eyes were moving curiously from his mother to Sarah to Brooke.

Olivia's hands were shaking so much that she gripped her phone more tightly for fear of dropping it. "A hostage team almost always goes with ESU when there's a crisis—they work hand in hand. He's going to the projects where Terrence Reynolds was shot." She said under her breath.

"Do you want one of us to stay here with you?" Brooke offered.

"No," Olivia managed a tiny smile, "I have to go back to the precinct anyway. If…I'm not here when you get back, call me and I'll come right home." She lifted Noah, "Give me a kiss, sweet boy," she requested cheerfully, hoping Noah hadn't picked up on her anxiety, "Have fun tonight!"

"We'll take lots of pictures!" Sarah assured her.

"Oh, speaking of pictures, I didn't take the one of the three of you. Come on, get together." Sarah and Brooke leaned against the island and Noah stood between them on one of the chairs so he was a full head taller. Liking this vantage point, he smiled broadly and confidently and put an arm on each sister's shoulder.

"So cute," Olivia assessed. "Brooke, Sarah, thank you. And please don't worry…I'm probably overreacting. It's still an adjustment having your Dad _out there_ instead of at IAB."

"It's ok, Livvie," Sarah replied, "Remember, Daddy's been a cop our whole lives, we're used to it. But, like you told Angela, he always comes home!"

Brooke grinned, "That was priceless."

"Total burn."

"Ok, let's go, we're gonna be late."

Olivia remained standing in the kitchen for several minutes after they left. She breathed deeply and methodically, trying to calm down and erase the worst-case scenarios from her mind. Ed would be fine. He would probably be inside the mobile command center anyway, not out in the line of fire. At least, she didn't think so. She wanted to call him again or at least send a text, but she fought the urge. He had a job to do. And, he _did_ always come home.

….

Declan Murphy, or Bishop, as he was known in the world of sex traffickers, left the New York City detention center, the weak charges against him again having been dropped. He took out one of his two cell phones and dialed, subsequently explaining to the caller that he would be in Belgrade within twenty-four hours. Manhattan was too hot right now. Time to temporarily move operations. When he ended that call, he took out a second phone and dialed Rollins. She didn't pick up. He found a nondescript coffee shop, ducked inside, and kept trying.

A few blocks away at SVU, Olivia and her squad watched live developments on two screens—one turned to the local broadcast and the other to national news. The courthouse protestors erupted into collective groans, roars, and chants for justice. Around the city, cameras mounted on helicopters recorded pockets of demonstrators, but, so far, there had been no arrests and no reports of shots fired or other types of violence. However, everyone knew the relatively law-abiding daytime crowd could potentially give way to a nighttime mob intent on obtaining its own version of extralegal justice.

Carisi jabbed his finger at the screen. "Holy crap, it's Barba!"

Indeed, the District Attorney descended the stairs and bravely approached the mass of discontented faces and cluster of journalists and television cameras. His sallow cheeks and downcast expression made plain not only the disappointment of the day but the stress of his entire year. It was probably time for someone to whisk Barba away for a while to recharge. He spoke clearly and in layman's terms about the charges and how he understood the jury's verdict but still held the deepest sympathies and sorrow for Terrence Reynolds' family. He criticized the grand jury in veiled way when he remarked, "when emotions conflict with written law, we often get this result."

"Mr. Barba, you spoke to the jury members after the verdict. Why did they not convict on reckless endangerment?"

In addition to manslaughter, the grand jury indictment included the lesser charge of first degree reckless endangerment. Barba explained, "Juries typically, when they come to a conclusion that the most severe charge was an overreach, they are reluctant to convict on any charge. That was the prevailing sentiment in the room."

"What will happen to the two officers now?"

Barba's tone turned sarcastic, "They were acquitted. They can go back to their lives."

"Is it likely they'll do that?"

"You'll have to ask them."

"And what about Detective Dumas? Will the DA's office take him to trial?"

Olivia could tell by the look on Barba's face that the answer was "no," but Rafael only said, "We'll review the charges and the testimony and make that decision in the near future. That's all for today." He turned on his heel and jogged up the steps, leaving a chorus of catcalls and additional questions in his wake.

"He's got some guts to go out there and face that crowd," Fin remarked admirably. "He coulda just ducked out the back."

The station cut to another helicopter view. The cameras captured pockets of demonstrations throughout the city, particularly in Harlem, Inwood, and Washington Heights. The chopper hovered over the projects where Terrence lived and the video feed, showed a phalanx of ESU officers and uniformed personnel stationed among the residents who were gradually filtering into the complex's common areas. As the crowd gathered, several unmarked NYPD sedans arrived and men of rank, including Tucker, filed in the direction of the mobile command center.

Unsurprisingly, Carisi spotted him right away. "Hey, Lieu, it's the Captain!" He sounded more like Noah than a detective with a law degree.

Fin stepped closer and peered at the screen. From the air it was almost impossible to make a positive ID, but Tucker's graying hair and body language were unmistakable. Understanding the potential for danger, Fin didn't share Sonny's youthful excitement, and instead he did something he rarely, if ever, did—he put his arm around Olivia's shoulders and gave her a little side hug. Carisi was still engrossed in the footage, but Rollins noticed and immediately put two and two together. She, Olivia, and Fin shared a look of collective concern while the youngest squad member fawned over the sight of Tucker, who he greatly admired. The crowd swelled, but the protest appeared to remain relatively peaceful. Even though, Olivia had seen enough.

"Turn that off," she muttered and retreated to her office. They had work to do, and the proper focus could not possibly be maintained with that coverage streaming in the background.

Rollins stuck her head in, "Lieutenant, I have a quick errand to run. Mind if I duck out for a half hour?"

"Go ahead," Olivia assented without looking up.

"Everything alright?"

"I'm fine."

…..

Several blocks away, inside the Minskoff Theatre on West 45th Street, Brooke led Sarah and Noah to their seats. The girls loaded Noah down with soda, popcorn, and candy which he dragged along beside him in a plastic bag. Sarah, enjoying the financial windfall that came with her new job, purchased seats ten rows from the stage. Noah obediently took his seat and stared all around, taking in the ornate interior before Sarah took him to peek at the orchestra and allowed him to meander in the aisle for a little bit.

"When it starts you have to sit down, Noey." Sarah didn't sound the least bit authoritative.

"I want my candy."

"If you have your candy you have to sit down with us," Brooke said. "You can either wait or sit and eat."

Noah thought for a second then decided, "I'll wait."

Brooke and Sarah watched as he took slow steps and observed the action. Since the show was geared for younger audiences, the attendees were dressed more casually than they would have been for most performances. Many people smiled approvingly at the smartly-attired three-year-old and Sarah beamed.

"He is so freaking yummy," she said. "It would be fun to have a kid and buy all those cute clothes."

"Yeah, that's a great reason to have kids," Brooke replied sarcastically, "How 'bout I just get you an American Girl doll?"

"I don't need a doll…or a kid, we have Noah. Livvie doesn't mind if I play dress up with him."

"I'm sure she doesn't."

Sarah sipped a glass of Chardonnay and sat back contentedly, "This is _so fun_. We never did stuff like this growing up. Lookit Noey, he's _loving_ it. And the _show_ hasn't even started." Brooke wasn't responding and Sarah leaned forward and waved a hand in her face, "Hell- _lo_? Earth to Brookey? Are you a- _live_?"

The older sister snapped to attention, "Uh, yeah, I'm just thinking about Olivia and Dad. I should've stayed with her." Sarah had forgotten all about the verdict and her father's call to Olivia and she furrowed her brow, at the sight of which Brooke snapped, "Dad? The projects? Protests?"

"Oh," Sarah groaned, "Why are you so worried _now_? Dad was always doing something policeish when we were growing up."

"There's a difference between being a little kid and an adult, Sarah. We didn't know exactly what he was doing. He didn't tell us if he was shot at or whatever. Did you _ever_ think he would be hurt or killed when he went to work?"

"No."

"I didn't either. Then he worked at IAB, but now, today, you didn't see the look on Olivia's face?"

"Of course I did."

"Have you ever seen her look like that before?"

"No."

Brooke tried not to let her frustration show, "Why do you think that is?"

" _Brooke_ , Livvie told us she was probably overreacting. Of course she's gonna be freaked out. That's her _man_. Dad'll be fine. _He_ didn't kill anybody. Those people," Sarah fluttered her fingers in the air, "Just need to vent, they'll scream and whatever and everything will be fine. Whaddya think's gonna happen? A riot?"

"Maybe."

"Well, Dad's a _Captain_. He's not out there with one of those shields doing crowd control."

Brooke nodded. That was the most sense Sarah had made all night. "I'm still worried."

Sarah put her glass down and put either hand on the side of Brooke's head, pointing it in Noah's direction. "Lookit that boy. Our _brother_. He's having the time of his life. He has no clue what's going on outside. He's _innocent._ Living in the moment. Why don't you," Sarah turned Brooke's face to meet hers, "act like him for the next two hours? When we leave you can worry your little ass off. There's nothing you can do now."

Sarah kissed her sister's forehead, and Brooke couldn't hold back a giggle. "When did you get so wise?"

"Every once in a while I show signs of being insightful."

"Will you let go of my face, please?"

"Of course.

The lights dimmed and Noah rushed over, slightly alarmed. Sarah plopped him in her lap. "It's ok, Noey-Boey, the show's about to start. You wanna sit with me or in your own seat?"

Noah gripped Sarah's wrist and leaned forward with anticipation as the music began playing. Enraptured, he didn't respond. For the time being, he remained perched on Sarah's knees.

….

 _No news is good news._

Lieutenant Benson repeated this phrase in her head as she muddled through the paperwork on her desk. The afternoon and evening passed without word from Ed. Calls to SVU were sporadic, perhaps due to the heavy police presence which was expected to continue throughout the evening. The only contact Olivia had with her family were texts from Sarah who sent photos and then a post-show update informing her they were taking Noah to Café Lalo for dessert. Olivia responded that she would meet them at home. Finally, right before she turned on the news again, Ed sent her a text telling her he was fine and to expect him home "not too late." He concluded with, _Don't worry. Love you._

"Fin, Carisi, I'm going home," she announced a little while later as she exited her office burdened with the stack of accordion files and her large purse. "And you should, too."

"Yeah, ok, Liv," Fin said, not looking at all displeased with the order. "Have a good weekend." His voice was laced with concern, but he didn't directly ask about Tucker. Of all the squad members, it was taking Fin the longest to get used to Olivia's new life as mother and wife.

"You too," she replied almost too cheerfully, "Go see your grandson."

"Yeah, Alejandro and Ken are thinking about the Bronx Zoo if the weather holds up."

Olivia smiled as Carisi launched into vivid analyses of his favorite exhibits at both the Bronx Zoo and the Central Park Zoos as Fin looked helplessly at the Lieutenant. His face pleaded with Olivia.

 _Save me._

…

Sarah, Brooke, and Noah arrived at the apartment a few minutes after Olivia. Despite the popcorn, candy, soda, and dessert, Noah's outfit was impressively unstained, his face had been wiped clean, and even his gel-filled hair was still spiky. In one hand he clutched the playbill and in the other he held a plastic Simba by the tail.

"Look, Mommy! It roars!" Sure enough, Noah manipulated the toy so its mouth opened and it bellowed a tinny-sounding roar.

"Wow, sweet boy! Did you like the theatre?"

"Uh-huh, we singed the songs and see the guys in, in, in…the lion suits!"

Sarah grinned down at him, "He was _sooo_ good, Livvie. When it was over he was like 'that's all?' It's, like three hours, but he wanted to stay longer!"

Noah handed the playbill to his mother, "This the book."

"We tried to explain about actors and costumes," Brooke said, "Noah, what do you want to be for Halloween?"

"Lion!"

"Big lion or little lion?"

"BIG LION!"

"He means Mufasa," Sarah interpreted, "He wants the big mane."

Olivia hugged and kissed her son, "We'll make that happen." Noah yawned. "In the meantime, let's get your jammies on and get ready for bed. You got to stay up late tonight, Noah."

"Maybe he'll sleep in tomorrow," Sarah suggested, "A little Saturday gift for you."

"Are you sure you don't want us to stay until Dad comes home?" Brooke asked.

"No, that's ok. He said he'd be home soon. Everything apparently has calmed down enough that his team is going home." Olivia continued, profusely thanking the two of them for so generously treating Noah and they left, planning to stop at Quinn's for a nightcap. Olivia went to her purse and pulled out two twenty-dollar bills. "Here, take this, drinks on me."

"No, Livvie, you don't have to do that."

Brooke shook her head, "Uh-uh, we're not taking it."

" _Please_." Olivia folded the bills in half and tucked them into the side pocket of Brooke's handbag, "Let me do this."

"You always buy us drinks!" Sarah protested, "And dinner, and-"

Olivia held up her hand, "Stop. Take the money and go have fun. And, thank you again."

They conceded.

"Text us when Dad gets home, ok?" Brooke requested sincerely, giving Olivia a firm hug. "We love you."

"Love you, too."

After smothering Noah with hugs and kisses, the ladies headed out into the night. Noah didn't resist his bedtime routine, and made it through only one story before he fell asleep. Olivia rocked him for a few minutes as she surveyed his room. She and Ed were saving his packing for last, so everything was in its usual place—toys and stuffed animals shoved in one corner, photos and other keepsakes on top of his dresser, and his absurdly large shoe collection lined up against the wall. The space was small, and Olivia was excited for him to have a real bedroom.

"Just a week or so, baby boy," She whispered, "Daddy and I are making everything perfect." Tomorrow's plan was to shop for his room's wall art. They were debating whether to go with dinosaurs or trains, and they planned to take Noah to the apartment for his first visit. Renovations, at least the major ones, were almost finished, and it was only a matter of paint drying before they could begin moving their things in.

"Ok, Noah," she whispered again, "Let's get you in bed."

Noah remained fast asleep as Olivia laid him in bed and covered him with his blue and red fleece blanket. She put his arm around Bernie, kissed him, made sure the night light was plugged in, and left the door open just a crack.

In the kitchen among the boxes, she found Ed's bourbon and poured an ounce or so into a juice glass. She desperately wanted to see her husband, and to occupy her racing mind she turned the television to late night reruns and tried to absorb herself in _Friends_ , but instead waited impatiently for the sounds of Ed's arrival. Her eyes drifted from the television to the bookshelves. They had been mostly cleared and packed, but Olivia saved their family photos for last and those remained displayed, clustered together, a pictorial story of the last year and a half. There was their first staged photo together, taken by Brooke in Central Park the day they had their picnic last spring. They looked comfortable yet slightly tentative; Olivia smiled a little as she remembered the newness of their relationship on that day and how Sarah babbled on and on about how cute they were together. The other stills created a timeline of the second half of 2016: the beach, birthdays, Sarah's wedding, Christmas, and their wedding. What a whirlwind the past year had been—filled with precious memories, laughs, and family love.

Olivia took a sip.

Now here she was, alone, wallowing in a deep pool of angst and despondency. She hadn't felt like this in a very long time.

Another sip.

She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. Olivia was not religious and hardly could call herself spiritual, but she did, at that moment, send up a request.

 _Please let him get here._

…

"Liv?"

Olivia opened her eyes. Ed stood above her with a tender expression on his face. He was still wearing his vest and HNT coat which made him loom large, and he held Olivia's bourbon in one hand.

"You were about to drop this," He told her gently before downing what was left of the bourbon.

"You're home," she purred groggily, reaching out for him. He pulled her up and she wrapped her arms around the bulk of his uniform, hearing the crunch as her body pressed against the nylon and hardened plastic.

"I'm home."

"I was nervous."

"We were inside the whole time."

"You never know, in circumstances like that…" Olivia drifted off, thinking of how easily it would have been for a rioter to throw a Molotov cocktail into the Mobile Command Center.

"It's calm," he reported, "the pastors, other community leaders, they were holding vigils, telling people to go home. Our guys are still there, but, for now, it's under control."

"I couldn't stop thinking of the worst. The whole day."

"Wasn't it on the news? There were choppers in the air almost the whole time."

"I had to turn it off."

"Aw, Liv, it's ok now." He held her by the shoulders. "Look at me. I'm here. It's me," he stared at her intently, reassuringly. "All over."

"Ok."

Still standing close, he took off his jacket while Olivia unbuckled his vest and then reattached herself to him, this time moving in for a kiss. It started innocently, almost tentatively, as if she weren't completely sure the man in front of her was really her husband. He rubbed her back and then threaded his fingers through her hair, keeping her lips attached to his. He probed for her tongue, and tenderly massaged it with his, soothing her, asserting his unmistakable masculinity.

Her phone vibrated on the coffee table, but she made no move to take the call. Olivia delayed answering; she wanted a few more minutes in Ed's arms to feel the security of his embrace. When they were apart she could usually imagine how this felt, but tonight, under the weight of uncertainty, the old but familiar loneliness returned, and that was frightening. It had been a long time since she'd felt that hollow inside.

Phone silenced, she unbuttoned and untucked his shirt and put her palms on his bare chest.

More vibrations.

Ed groaned into her mouth, but she kept kissing him, more and more deeply, and her hands fell to his waist. Belt unbuckled. Zipper undone. Ed responding to his wife's warm welcome home. He groaned again, this time in response to her fingers exploring inside his boxer briefs.

The phone did not stop. In fact, the noise seemed to become even more insistent.

 _PICK UP!_

Duty was calling, and it was not going away. Olivia removed her hand from Ed's pants but kept a thumb hitched through a belt loop, thwarting any possible escape. She gathered her composure, swallowed, took a deep breath, and took the call.

Carisi didn't waste time with pleasantries. "Lieu, sorry to bother you, but I can't get a hold of Rollins. Fin's on his way in, but she's not picking up."

"What's going on?"

Ed watched as Olivia listened to the details. By the time she hung up, he could tell by the look on her face that her plans for him and for tonight had changed.

"That was Carisi. Carjacking with possible kidnapping. I have to go." Given the urgency of the case, Olivia didn't have a spare moment, but she lingered against Ed anyway. "I don't want to leave you."

"I'm fine," he said softly, "Go. I'll be right here waiting when you get back."

She gave him a slightly funny look, nodded, and kissed him once more. "Hopefully I won't be long."

…..


	12. Chapter 12

_This chapter picks up where the previous one left off. Carisi was unable to contact Rollins, so he called Olivia who went to work, but not before saying to Ed, "I don't want to leave you" with an odd look on her face._

 _Ed begins by taking a particularly lengthy trip down memory lane as he awaits his wife's return. It may seem to ramble a bit, but, as you know if you've read my fics, I'm a teeny tiny bit fascinated with #Tuckson beginnings._

 _Also, chap is long. Sorry. I didn't see a logical breaking point, so, feel free to read half and come back to it later. :-)_

 **Reflections**

After Olivia left, Ed went to Noah's room, kissed his cheek softly, and spent a few minutes watching him sleep. Ed loved doing this—Noah was so peaceful and innocent and such a contrast to what he and Olivia experienced at work on a daily basis. During these moments, Ed made silent promises.

 _I'll always protect you._

 _I'll always take care of you._

 _You will never, ever, want for anything._

 _Bad things may happen, but I'll always be there to help you through them._

 _I will never let anyone hurt you._

Noah rolled over and fluttered his eyelids. Sensing his mere presence may be disturbing his son's sleep, Ed left, leaving the door wide open.

In the kitchen, he found the bourbon, gave himself a generous pour, and sipped contemplatively.

Carisi.

Sonny was nice enough, even if it did seem like he was being a little noncommittal with Brooke and whatever it was they were doing together. According to Olivia, he was blooming into an extremely savvy detective, and the times Ed saw him socially were enjoyable.

But, _damn_ , the guy had a knack for ruining his intimate moments with Olivia. Neglecting to knock. Phone calls. Text messages. Carisi had interrupted in every possible way except for repelling down the building and crashing through their bedroom window. Ed thought about the multiple times he'd tried to sneak kisses or little touches from Olivia only to be waylaid by Sonny's honest but ill-timed interruptions.

The worst had been New Years Day, 2016. Ed chuckled to himself as he recalled that afternoon. After spending most of the previous year meeting for drinks, dinner, and work-related conversation, he and Olivia gradually drifted onto a friendlier path. Their talks became less professional. They laughed together, and they shared personal stories, both ugly and lighthearted. As Olivia grew into her role as commanding officer, their bond became stronger and her need for a true friend and confidant supplanted any lingering resentment for his past evil deeds.

For Ed, he always had eyes for Benson. Even when the tension between SVU and IAB was at its height, there was no doubt about his physical attraction to her. When he actually got to know Olivia-the-person and see her intelligence, wisdom, and wit, she became irresistible. Like the Deputy Commissioner said, she made him feel _good_. Their romantic relationship inched forward, partly due to her hesitation but chiefly because of the hectic nature of police work. Eventually, he mustered the courage to kiss her. Really kiss her. And it had been perfect.

They took a stroll after dinner one fall evening after a dinner that neither one of them wanted to end. Conversation had come so easily, they flirted, she playfully swiped at his arm when they kidded one another, and he tried his best to be gallant, sensitive, and kind. For once they totally avoided police talk. Olivia mentioned she was taking Noah to an Upper West Side street fair the next day and invited Ed to come along. Pleasantly shocked, he stared blankly at her for a second.

"Unless," Olivia quickly added, "That's not something you're interested in doing? I understand."

Ed had spent time with Noah before, but usually just hellos and goodbyes—nothing like an _afternoon_ that could possibly include lunch and bleed into the evening. Of course he agreed to go; he was thrilled to accompany them, and he had trouble concealing his pleasure at the invitation.

So later that evening as they strolled on the southern edge of Central Park he stopped and pulled her to the side of the path. Her expression told him she knew what was coming. Not only that, she _wanted_ what was coming. He was nervous but giddy with anticipation. He had been wondering what it would be like to feel her lips against his since he bought her that bourbon.

Thinking of bourbon, Ed remembered he had one in his hand and he took another sip, licked his lips, and relived that first kiss.

Eyes open and gazing into hers, he leaned in. She smiled a little, he thought maybe she wanted to break into a wide grin, but she couldn't because his mouth was on hers. He felt her hands clasp around his neck. Testing her, he opened his mouth a little. She followed suit and let out a low moan as he worked his tongue against hers. The wind picked up, but that only made them more intent on pressing their bodies together.

"That ok?" He was still close, staring into her eyes, and she could feel his warm breath.

She smiled, "It was more than ok."

"I've wanted to do that for a while."

"You can kiss me anytime you want."

From that point on, things were different. Instead of meeting at the last minute after work, they planned dates and, soon, they didn't even need to do that anymore. Dinner together, when work permitted, was expected. Olivia allowed Ed into Noah's life, and he bonded quickly with the boy. At that point, his relationship with Brooke and Sarah was still distant, so he welcomed the chance to be a father figure again. Ed knew further intimacy was imminent, but he waited patiently and followed Olivia's lead. She spent much of November and December at work—Dodds was new and Rollins had Jesse—so time together was limited. On New Year's Eve, she called him at midnight.

"Happy New Year!" She said brightly. He returned the greeting and then accepted her offer to visit the apartment for brunch in the morning. "It'll just be me and Noah," she said, "and I'm not exactly the best cook, but it's hard to screw up pancakes and eggs, right?"

Ed momentarily jumped out of his memory and listened, thinking he heard Noah.

False alarm. He drifted back to January 1, 2016. He arrived at her apartment with champagne, wine, and bourbon. The sight of him laden with alcohol made Olivia laugh, genuinely laugh, and it warmed his heart.

"I didn't know what you would want, ya know, for brunch," he explained sheepishly.

"How about we start with mimosa?"

Ed didn't care. He only wanted to hear that laugh again. And he did. They laughed as they fished pieces of egg shells out of the scrambled eggs. Olivia laughed when Ed teased her about her misshapen pancakes and then laughed even harder when he gave it a try and his were worse. They laughed when Noah mimicked the football players on television. They even laughed when he whined and threw a mini-fit at naptime. While Noah slept, they kissed and cuddled and switched from mimosa to wine. They played Yahtzee on the coffee table with the football games still playing on television. _Yahtzee_. Ed went from being the IAB investigator who Olivia loathed to her, _gulp_ , _boyfriend_ who she loathed only because he'd rolled two Yahtzees in one game.

"No way you'll roll another one," she trash talked.

"What if I do?"

"Not going to happen."

"Care to make it interesting, Lieutenant?"

Olivia bit her lip. "Ok."

"If I roll another one, you and Noah let me buy you dinner tonight."

"And if you don't?"

"I will."

He did. Either Ed Tucker had some innate skill with dice or he was incredibly lucky. Either way, he made good on the bet. They ate at the neighborhood pub that would eventually become their usual weeknight spot, played with Noah, kissed him goodnight, opened the bourbon, and, eventually, found themselves alone again on the couch. This time there was no Yahtzee and no television. Olivia put on some soft music, sat so her legs were touching Ed's, and he wasted no time taking her into his arms. He kissed her furiously, managing to mutter "I had a great time today" when she broke away from him to fling her shirt over her head. He felt her breasts over her bra, and, that not being good enough, he unclasped it and that, too, was tossed to the floor. Ed stared into her eyes and pursed his lips as he caressed her chest. Yearning flooded her eyes as she returned his gaze and straddled him. Olivia ran her hands all over his head as he kissed her neck, shoulders, and, finally, those supple breasts. He couldn't help but notice the tiny scars and discolorations, but he imagined himself soothing her pain and suffering as he kissed and licked and suckled at her.

Ed shifted them so she was on her back and she slid her arms under his t-shirt and sweater, slipping the garments over his head, and then doing her own quick examination of his torso. The feel of her fingertips kneading his chest and back sent shivers through his body.

 _This was really happening._

Right as he was about to say something incredibly romantic, someone buzzed the apartment from the street below. Ed froze, propped on his hands as if he were doing pushups.

Olivia brought him down to her. "They'll go away," she mumbled, kissing him.

Another buzz.

Then another.

"Ugh," she groaned and extracted herself from the cushions. Shirtless, she ambled over to the door. "Yeah?"

The voice coming through the intercom was Carisi's. "Hey, Lieu! I have a New Year's treat for you and Noah! Sorry so late but I—"

Olivia cut him off, "Come on up." She rushed to the living room and put on Ed's t-shirt and sweater. She picked up her own shirt and bra and shoved them into his hands. "I'll deal with him. Why don't you…take these…and go back to my bedroom? I'll be there in a few minutes."

Ed did as he was told.

Carisi was delivering traditional Italian honey sesame cookies. "My mother makes them every New Year's," Ed heard him explain, "Thought you and Noah would like them. Sorry it's so late, I stopped by earlier but you weren't home."

Olivia thanked him, faked a yawn, said goodbye, and appeared in the bedroom, plate of cookies in hand.

"Want one?" She asked seductively.

"No." Ed answered seriously. He took the plate from her and put it on the top of the dresser. "I want _you_ , Olivia."

"I'm all yours," she whispered.

They fell onto the mattress and picked up where they left off. Ed went about making love to her deliberately and carefully as if he were attempting to commit to memory every moment and each detail of her body. Afterward, they kissed and cuddled, heated up and went for another, more aggressive round, exchanging pillow talk well into the early morning hours. Ed saw Olivia start to drift off to sleep around three a.m.

"I should go," he said, kissing her again, "I don't want to confuse Noah."

Olivia wanted to object but knew he was right. He dressed and she put on her robe to walk him out. Ed had no idea what to say, so he was elated when she gave him a soft kiss and said, "Thank you for a perfect day."

He held her close, "Maybe…do it again sometime?"

They both laughed at the double meaning.

Three days later, Utley held a gun to her head.

 _I don't want to leave you._

Ed hung his head. What an idiot! He had totally misconstrued what she said before she left.

All the time he was negotiating with Utley, Ed operated with a humongous pit in his stomach. That wasn't just a fellow officer in that house, the hostage was _his_ Olivia. It was all he could do to restrain himself from losing control and smacking the hell out of Ralph or threatening Utley with his life. It took remarkable strength for him to handle the negotiation by the book and at the same time hide the fact that there was more to the incident than anyone knew.

 _I don't want to leave you._

When Utley walked the three hostages out, Ed remembered swallowing hard, trying to keep it together. Bits and pieces of their lovemaking flashed through his mind. He thought about her lips and her soft skin and then she appeared, bloody and bruised and seconds away from death, if that hopped-up maniac chose to pull the trigger. Olivia's badass right hook into Utley's face and the subsequent sniper shot happened in a flash. Ed was sure he had never sprinted so fast in his entire life. As she turned to him, he thought she was going to go against her own request to keep their relationship under wraps, but she kept it together and let out the breathless "thank-you."

Olivia struggled more than she let on in the aftermath; as she battled her inner demons, she held Tucker at bay. It was confusing for him, but he stayed patient, cognizant, and respectful of all she'd been through. To make matters worse, January and February were filled with murky cases, none of which came with neat resolutions. He knew she was seeing Dr. Lindstrom, but Ed also reminded her that she could lean on him, trust him, and let him support her as she fought to move forward both personally and professionally. Olivia had trouble accepting this at first, but eventually she opened up, and when she did, it was full disclosure. They stayed awake all night, and Ed comforted her and wiped her tears as she walked him through Lewis, the PTSD, the nightmares, the fear that Noah would be all alone if something happened to her, and, finally, her own troubling loneliness.

Ed hated to beg, but he kind of did, "Olivia, _please_ , let me be here for you. I want to. It took us too long to find each other to give up now. I'm not rushing you. I'm not asking for anything more than what you're ready for…but, I'm _here_. And I won't leave…unless that's what you want."

Two days later Hank Abraham was busted and, that Valentine's Day, instead of a nightcap after the sentencing, she took his arm and led him home, to her apartment, where they made love, and, this time, when he got up to leave in the middle of the night, she put out her arm and dragged him back by her side.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

A surge of dread shot through his body. _What_?

"I mean," she clarified, "I want you to stay."

He curled up next to her, "I'll leave before he gets up. Lemme set—"

She gripped his forearm tightly, "Don't set the alarm. Just stay."

 _I don't want to leave you._

Ed grumbled at himself and took another sip. Tonight Olivia had a scare and he took her _I don't want to leave you_ as being about him when it was really about her. He felt terribly guilty. He still wasn't used to anyone worrying about him, and he'd been so nonchalant, almost flippant, towards his wife while she was coming out of crisis mode.

 _His wife_.

The only person who believed him when he was being framed. The woman he loved, who he wanted to take care of most in the world, had been upset, probably still was, and he didn't catch on until now. In the past year and a half, they'd been one another's rock, at times, the only person the other could trust. They had built, were building, an impenetrable bond, and Ed was certain he'd crumble if he lost her. And vice versa.

When Olivia came home Ed took her into his arms and apologized. The words were jumbled and babbled, but he managed to explain himself. He didn't think about how agonizing it would be for her, he was new at this, at least, new at going off to an NYPD crisis instead of interrogating a dirty cop _with a concerned wife at home_. She was so strong and independent that sometimes he forgot she could be consumed by worry. He was sorry. He didn't realize how it affected her. How stupid he was to cherish her as the most precious thing in his life and not recognize she felt the exact same way.

Tears streamed down her face as Olivia listened, and, as the regret became more and more apparent in his voice, she cradled his cheek in her hand and kissed him. "You don't have to apologize," she said softly, "It's just something I have to get used to."

"But—"

"Ed, I forgive you…if that's what you need to hear. I understand."

"It won't happen again."

She smiled, "I know."

"I'm sorry."

" _Stop_."

He played with her hair and wiped her damp face with his thumb, "So…"

"So…Noah's room tomorrow?"

He brightened. "Yeah. Dinosaurs and trains."

"That doesn't really match."

"That's what he wants."

Olivia chuckled a little.

"What?"

"You're such a good man." She knew he loved to hear that. If he was harboring any residual guilt, that sentence would take care of it.

He shot her the classic Tucker smirk. "I know it's late, but…"

She nodded towards the bedroom and winked at him, "C'mon."

Their room was in disarray—boxes were piled in corners, clothing laid out to be packed was strewn around, and items from the hall closet Olivia had been organizing and wrapping in plastic were scattered on the bed. Ed cleared the mattress with a swipe, sending the items flying onto a pile of sweaters and sweatshirts so they made a thud instead of a Noah-rousing clatter.

To Olivia's amusement, Ed wouldn't stop talking. As he bit and sucked at her thighs he rambled on and on about the new apartment.

"So much space," he mumbled, "and the windows, I'm gonna make love to you in the living room in front of those windows."

He ran his tongue along her inner thigh and flicked his fingers right in the spot that drove her crazy. As she spasmed and moaned, he interspersed commentary with swirls of his tongue, "You can look out over Manhattan…"

If Olivia weren't writhing from his fingers and lips moving rhythmically between her legs, she would have laughed.

"…while I'm fucking you," he finished his sentence as she came completely undone. If there was anything such as sexual swagger, Ed had it. He moved away from her oozing folds to consume the opposite thigh then slowly pulled himself along her torso, using her breasts as anchors.

"You taste so good. Olivia, you're _so good_."

She felt his erection pressing against her, and as much as she was enjoying the protracted foreplay, she needed him. " _Ed_."

He answered as if they were hanging out on the couch watching television, "Yes?"

"I want you. _Now_."

His face was between her breasts. In reply, he teased her and dipped his hips ever so slightly. She reached down, grasped his backside, and wrapped her legs around his thighs, but he flexed his muscles and resisted. "Be _patient_ , Liv.

"I can't."

"God I love these." He opened his mouth wide and took as much of one breast in his mouth as he could.

Olivia could only manage another raspy, " _Ed_."

He switched breasts, "You're so perfect."

The sound she made was a cross between a moan and a cry.

Ed finished with her breasts and planted open-mouthed kisses at her throat before locking his eyes with hers. "Can you tell how much I love you?"

"Not quite." She dug her fingers into him and snapped her hips up against his. "Are you going to make be beg?" She asked breathlessly.

"Not tonight." He smirked and then stabbed his tongue deep into her mouth while simultaneously driving himself into her. He kept his lips on top of hers as much as possible, muffling her whimpers and then her shrieks and then his satisfied groan as he exploded.

"Mmmmmm," Ed hummed against her neck, "God, I love you."

Olivia played with his hair, "I love you, but you were torturing me."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't sound sorry."

"I'm not. I'm selfish."

Olivia furrowed her brow and shivered as she recalled the last hour, or however long it had been since they'd fallen on the bed. "Selfish is not the word you should be using."

He chuckled, "What word should I use?"

Olivia thought. "Infatuated?"

"Uh-uh. _Addicted_."

"There are worse things to be hooked on."

"Damn right about that."

…

Sarah correctly predicted that Noah would sleep late, so Ed and Olivia snuck in pre-dawn sex and a shower before the little guy came wandering into the living room rubbing his eyes. He made a beeline for Ed who hugged and kissed him before hoisting him in the air. "How's my big guy?"

"I goed to Lion King!"

"I know, bud! Tell me about it!"

Noah regaled his Daddy with recollections. "We eat dinner, then saw the lions, and singed the songs. Sarah buyed me…" He ran to the living room, brought the plastic lion to Ed, and made it roar, "Sarah buyed me this lion."

Ed inspected the toy.

"Push the button. You make a roar, Daddy!" Ed did as he was told and Noah added his voice to the mechanical roar.

"Noah," Olivia prompted, "What else did you do with Sarah and Brookey?"

"We eated red cake!"

"They took him to Café Lalo," Olivia explained.

"And Brookey buyed me popcorn and, and, a cookie, annnnnnd, spite!"

"Sprite?"

"Uh-huh."

Olivia slid a partitioned plastic plate across the counter. She'd cut up pieces of a cinnamon raisin bagel and a banana for his breakfast.

Olivia's phone pinged.

Ed frowned and muttered, "If that's Carisi, I'm getting him transferred."

Olivia grinned at him knowingly. "It's Rollins. Apologizing for last night."

"Where was she?"

"With Murphy."

Ed knew all about Declan and Amanda, "He's still here?"

"Not anymore. He left this morning."

"She know where?"

"Not exactly."

Ed cradled Noah as he picked at his food. "That's tough. For her and him."

"Amanda's so unaffected by it. Or, at least she acts like she is."

"I'd have to get outta there," Ed said, "I couldn't be away from my kid like that. Seeing her once or twice a year…"

Olivia shrugged. "You know how it is. UC can consume your life."

"Still," Ed protested, "I get that they were never _together_ , but, if that's my kid? No way I'm flying around the world running a sex trafficking ring."

"Chief Dodds mentioned something about him spending more time here and it looking suspicious. So, maybe, he's on his way out. He must have mounds of evidence by now."

"Probably waiting for the big bust," Ed surmised, then asked, "How's the Chief doing?"

"Gloomy. He came in but didn't really need to. I think he just wanted some company. He's probably having an extra hard time…it'll be a year Wednesday."

Ed's face filled with sympathy.

"I told him I'd have a drink with him sometime," Olivia said hesitantly.

"Are you asking my permission?"

"Of course not."

"You don't have to do that, you know."

"Have a drink with him?"

He tilted his head at her. _Come on._ "You know what I mean."

She smiled at him and sipped coffee. Olivia appreciated Ed acting like he didn't care if she had a solo drink with another man, but she knew better. When they first got together he admitted he'd been jealous of Cassidy and both Stabler and Amaro-basically any man with whom she shared any type of connection.

"I know Dodds is hurting," Ed said, his eyes filling with concern, "But, how are _you_?"

"We've had so much going on…I haven't had time to think about it."

"Is that a good thing?"

" _We_ are a good thing. Moving is a good thing. But…there's no getting over it, Ed."

Ed put Noah on the chair. He went around the counter and took Olivia's face in his hands, "Remember. _Talk_ to me."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I know."

"You're not alone."

She leaned forward and kissed him, "Thanks to you, I haven't been for a while."

"Mommy! More bagel!"

Olivia turned to Noah. "More bagel…what?"

"Pleeeeeeeease!"

Olivia broke up another quarter of the bagel and put in on the plate.

"Guess what we're doing today, No?" Ed asked dramatically.

"See lions again?"

"Sorry, bud, that's for special occasions. We're going to see your new room!"

"New room with T-Rex?"

"Yeah! No Trains?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. _Why bring up the trains?_

"T-Rex and trains on da walls!"

"Mommy says we have to pick one or the other."

Noah spoke with his mouth full, "No, we have trains _and_ T-Rex."

"We'll see, bud. But, remember, your trains will be in your room. Your room is SO big, you can keep the trains set up all the time."

Noah's eyes widened. "We get _more_ trains?"

Ed kissed his head, "Yeah, we'll get you more track and more trains so they can take longer trips."

"Whoa!"

"Noah, isn't it nice you have a Daddy and sisters who spoil you?"

Ed mustered a serious expression, "There's a difference between spoiling him and giving him anything he wants."

"And what exactly is that difference?" Olivia asked skeptically.

Ed cleared his throat, "Spoiling means that we pile things on that he doesn't want or need. He wants and loves trains, so we give him as many trains as possible. He loves dinosaurs, so every time we see one, we buy it."

"Interesting logic."

"And you, Olivia Margaret, are not much better than we are."

She screwed up her face, "Oh come on, ninety percent of his toys came from you or Sarah or Brooke."

" _Clothes_?"  
She had no choice but to concede that point. "You got me there, Captain."

"I mean, I don't think he cares if that Polo horse thing is on his shirts… Or that _whale_ on the suit he had on last night. That's _spoiling_."

Olivia plucked her son from the chair and gave him a squeeze. "You are one lucky boy, sweet Noah," she cooed and gave him Eskimo kisses.

" _You_ lucky, Mommy." He retorted, giggled, and pressed his face even closer to hers.

Olivia clasped his head and hugged him tightly. Ed came over and kissed her on the cheek. "Don't cry, Liv," he said softly.

"I'm not."

A cocky smirk crossed his face, "But he can probably have dinosaurs _and_ trains on his walls now, huh?"

"Whatever he wants."

….

"Lieutenant, good morning!" Chief Dodds wore a bright, too-happy smile as he entered Olivia's office early Monday.

"Good morning, Chief."

"Have a good weekend?"

"I did," she reported and tried not to beam too much. She and Ed worked with the paint store's graphic design guy to create wall decals of a Tyrannosaurus Rex _driving_ a train. He printed them immediately, and the trio went directly to the apartment afterward. Luckily, the paint was dry in Noah's bedroom and they hung the artwork just above where his headboard would be. Noah went absolutely nuts and chanted "T-Rex Train." They ordered pizza and ate it on the floor of their new living room and took in the view from the floor-to-ceiling windows. They had breakfast with Brooke and Sarah on Sunday morning and spent the afternoon throwing a ball around with Noah in the park. Other than the worsening disarray of their current apartment, it was the perfect family weekend.

Olivia reluctantly asked how his weekend had been.

"Good, good," he replied cheerfully, "Matt actually flew in and surprised me. Thought I might like to see him, and their mother is coming tomorrow, you know, she wants to do this whole spiritual one-year after death thing. I don't get it…but it will be nice to have them here."

"That's great, Chief. I'm glad they're here for you."

"But," he clapped his hands, "I'm not here to wallow in sorrow. I have some great news for SVU. You're getting that new, competent, detective you've been asking for."

Olivia stared sternly at her boss, "I don't get to interview him? Or her?"

"Him," he replied, "And I didn't think you'd have to. It's Dume!"

"Dume?"

"Yes, Dume!"

"Isn't Detective Dumas under indictment?"

"As of this morning, the charges have been dropped. He's been through all the psych evals, he's cleared for duty. But, OnePP doesn't feel it's in the city's or his best interest to return to his old precinct for obvious reasons. They needed a safe place for him. You need an experienced guy. It's a win-win situation!"

Olivia did not share his enthusiasm. While she was on record supporting Dumas in the context of the shooting, she had qualms about taking a detective who had a target on his back and, most likely, had a damaged ego. SVU required empathy and finesse; she wasn't sure Dumas possessed those qualities and, if he did, his past may compel him to overcompensate. If there was anything worse than incompetence, it was a bruised detective with a chip on his shoulder trying too hard to prove his worth. But apparently she had no choice.

"When does he start?"

"A week from today. But I told him he could come by and get briefed, shadow around here if he wanted."

"Great."

"It'll be good, Lieutenant, you'll see. He's good police."

Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded.

"Oh, hey, why don't you have a drink with me and Matt later on? Assuming of course, that you're free."

It wasn't even ten o'clock; he was wasting no time backing her into a corner this morning. "Ah, sure, if nothing comes up. Maybe between five and six? I have to pick up Noah by seven."

"Five o'clock. Any suggestions? Not a cop bar."

Olivia knew dozens of midtown and west side bars, but she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind-the name of the girls' usual watering hole, Quinn's.

The Chief nodded familiarly, "I know the place. We'll see you later. Have a good day, Lieutenant."

"You too."

….

The Chief and Matt were nowhere to be found when Olivia arrived at the pub. She took a seat and made small talk with the bartender who recognized her from the times she'd been there with Sarah and Brooke. He delivered her Jameson's and soda and they chatted until the Dodds men arrived. Olivia shook Matt's hand. In the blur that was the day of the funeral, she hadn't spoken much to Matt and she hadn't noticed how ruggedly handsome he was.

"Are you still living in Mexico?" Olivia asked. Matt and his father sat on either side of her.

The Chief answered for him. His voice was still too loud and too cheerful. "Matt here has moved to southern California, managing his friend's band down there."

Olivia could tell the younger Dodds was annoyed, so she directed another question at him. "Are you a musician?"

He smiled gratefully, "I play a little guitar, but the band, that's just something I do on the side. They only play a few times a month. I'm working at a rehab and recovery center and taking classes to finish my degree. Psychology."

"Good for you," Olivia said. "I haven't spent much time in California. The weather must be gorgeous all year."

"It is. I can pretty much surf all year long if I want. You and your family should visit. I live in San Diego, but you can't really go wrong anywhere on the coast."

"I've always thought about going more north, San Francisco area? Wine country?"

Matt nodded, "I've been there. When you go, make it later summer. June is too foggy."

For someone who both Mike and the Chief had described as pretty much a huge screw up, Matt Dodds sure presented himself as exactly the opposite. After he got his degree he planned to eventually open his own drug and alcohol treatment center in a facility overlooking the Pacific. He made no excuses for himself and admitted that helping with his friend's band was a welcome diversion in his evenings and on the weekends—his trigger times. "When I'm alone and have too much free time, that's when the urges hit," he freely explained.

Chief Dodds gave up on his attempts to speak for Matt and sipped his bourbon silently. Olivia couldn't tell if he was tuned in to their conversation or if he was totally lost in thought. At any rate, she hoped he was pleased with the progress his wayward son had made.

Olivia showed him pictures of Noah, and Matt made her laugh incredulously when he told her kids in southern California started surfing right around his age. "They do that before they ride bikes," he said, grinning, "Just on small foam boards and they fall a lot, but it's a start."

"Sounds like learning a second language," Olivia remarked, "We're enrolling him in a dual language preschool this fall."

"Spanish?"

"Yes."

"That's good," Matt complimented, "I can get by, but it's hard as an adult."

Dodds ordered another round.

"Last one, Chief," Olivia warned, "If I'm stumbling into day care they may not release my son."

He slapped her back, "Ah, you're a trooper. We'll come with you, if need be!"

Matt laughed and toasted with both of them. Olivia was a little surprised he was drinking, but she kept the questions to herself.

"LIVVIE!"

The voice was unmistakable.

Sarah.

Olivia spun around just in time to absorb Sarah's signature violent hug.

"What are you _doing_ here?" Sarah asked loudly and maybe slightly disappointed that her drinking buddy and confidante had not invited her.

"Having a drink with my boss," Olivia gestured to Chief Dodds, "And his son. This is Matt, he's visiting from California."

Sarah switched to a more professional demeanor. She firmly shook their hands and introduced herself. Olivia noticed she was no longer wearing her rings. She was still in her work clothes—a light gray suit, pink blouse, and what appeared to be Louboutin pumps. _She really is burning through this raise_ , Olivia thought. Ed would have been pissed at both Dodds' leering, but, in their defense, Sarah _was_ irresistibly attractive.

"I'm supposed to be meeting Brooke and a couple of her teacher friends for dinner, so I thought I'd warm up first," Sarah said, pulling up a stool next to Matt, "I have a very low tolerance for teacher talk."

"What do you do?" Matt asked cordially.

"Right now I sit and smile and try not to look like an idiot." Sarah laughed at Matt's quizzical expression, "I'm in finance. I just started with a new firm. My team's in the middle of a project and I'm constantly playing catch up."

"Ah," he said.

"You'll get there," Olivia said encouragingly.

"And how do you two know each other?" Matt asked.

Olivia opened her mouth to reply, but Sarah beat her to the punch, "Livvie's my mom."

"Oh, you're Tucker's daughter!" Chief Dodds exclaimed, "I knew I recognized you! Now I know, from Lieutenant Benson's wedding."

Sarah leaned over the bar to peer at him. She obviously had no memory of the Chief. "Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, sir. We _have_ met, haven't we? The day of the wedding I was so, well, excited for Dad and Olivia, I didn't pay much attention to anything else."

"That's to be understood."

Olivia finished her second cocktail. "Guys, I have to go." She fished her wallet from her bag, but Dodds stopped her.

"On me, Lieutenant."

"Well, thank you."

"You're welcome. Hey, we're having a short graveside memorial and getting together afterward. Wednesday at sunset. Please come. Bring Tucker, too. And your squad."

Sarah's clueless expression faded slowly as she remembered last year's tragic events. Instinctively, she put a hand on Matt's forearm but then quickly retracted it before anyone noticed. The touch was so brief, Matt probably thought it was inadvertent.

Olivia agreed to join them as long as they weren't bogged down with anything SVU-related. She thanked Dodds again for the drinks and reminded Sarah about the weekend.

"Are you still free to help us out?"

"Absolutely. I'm your girl."

"Great, thanks. Have a good dinner, and tell Brooke I said hi."

"Will do."

Olivia, feeling a little weird about leaving Sarah with the Dodds, left the bar and headed for Noah's day care.

…

Ed was experiencing information overload. He stood at the counter opposite from Olivia as she wrapped breakables in newspaper and passed the items to him for placement in the box labeled "kitchen." Over dinner she vented about Dumas, told Ed about Dodds' memorial service, and mentioned Sarah had unexpectedly shown up at Quinn's.

He started with the easiest. "Let's plan on going to the cemetery," he said. Ed liked to project a steely façade, but Mike's death rattled him. Children were not supposed to die before their parents; he would be insufferable if he lost Brooke, Sarah, or Noah.

Olivia passed him a stack of wrapped plates.

"Have you heard from Sarah?" He asked.

Olivia knew what he was getting at. "I haven't. But, she was going to dinner with Brooke."

"Oh…ok." He felt slightly better. He didn't completely trust his flirtatious, beautiful, and recently separated daughter around single men. The last thing she needed to do was further complicate her life by having an alcohol-induced tryst with Matt Dodds, or, _shudder_ , Chief Dodds. He quickly pushed that thought out of his mind.

Ed tucked another set of glasses into the box, decided it was full enough, and reached for an empty one. "What the hell are they dumping Dumas on you for?"

"Apparently, the powers that be think SVU is a safe place for him."

"Sounds like they're treating him like a vic."

Olivia let out a sarcastic chuckle. "They kind of are."

"It's bullshit, though," Ed muttered under his breath, cognizant of Noah's keen ears. His jaw tightened, "They coulda just sent him to Staten Island, or any other borough for that matter. I don't like them setting you up like this."

"Like how?"

"Once the word gets out, you don't think you're precinct's gonna be targeted?"

"Targeted how?"

"Any case he works is gonna be under scrutiny."

Olivia sighed, "There are plenty of cops on the job who've shot people."

"How many who shot an unarmed, innocent black kid?"

"Amaro was one."

"And you don't think that affected him?"

"It did," Olivia admitted, "But it didn't make me trust him any less. That particular incident wasn't his fault—he got screwed by the rookie."

"And Dumas?"

"You interviewed him—what do _you_ think?"

"I think he was the least responsible of the three."

Olivia stopped what she was doing and leaned back against the sink. "Least responsible," she murmured. "Like that matters."

Ed knew the case still troubled her; it probably would forever. "Liv, you said it best—that night was the perfect storm of terrible circumstances. When everything is working against us, sometimes even _procedure_ fails."

"So, now, every case, every trial, every defense attorney can possibly use this against him. If the perp is a black man, they can dig this up. If the vic is black, maybe they don't trust him. How am I supposed to work with those possibilities hanging over us?"

"Charges are dropped," Ed pointed out, "Barba should be able to have it suppressed, don't ya think?"

Olivia's doubt was palpable. "Probably depends on the judge. And the case."

"Hey," he splayed his arms across the counter, reaching for her hands, "Take it one case at a time. He's a good detective. Before this, he had nothing but commendations, nothing negative in his jacket. And it's _your_ squad; if it's not working, you can get him outta there."

"You're right."

"Of course," he replied haughtily with a cocky smirk on his face, "You gotta _listen_ to Captain Tucker, Lieutenant."

"I think you enjoy the fact that you outrank me a little too much."

"There's nothing stopping you from being promoted—you'd do way better on the test than I did."

"Probably," Olivia replied with her own subtle playful arrogance.

"I could also tutor you," Ed offered, a wicked twinkle in his eye, "Free of charge."

"I'm sure there's _something_ you'd want in return."

"Not at all," he replied softly, "I'll do anything for you."

Olivia was slightly taken aback at how quickly he flipped from playfulness to sincerity. She leaned as far forward as she could and kissed him. She laughed as he swiped his tongue through her mouth, turning a chaste peck into a more suggestive smooch.

" _Although_ ," the flirtatious tone returned, "if you insist on some sort of compensation…we could work out some sort of advance payment plan starting tonight…" He beamed at her unapologetically. Pure adoration shone in his face.

Olivia loved how he cared for her. She relished his strength and how well he listened. She valued his opinion above all others. But he was also irresistibly sexy.

If she would have chosen to articulate her thoughts at that moment, she would have sounded exactly like Sarah.

Olivia cocked an eyebrow and returned Ed's amorous gaze.

 _Gawwwd_ , _he's hot._

….

 _ **Coming up: Moving Day! And some other stuff, too…remember Ed's mother, Caroline? I think we need to hear from her in the near future.**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Moves**

"It's been almost a month, Olivia. How are you?"

Dr. Lindstrom's eyes drilled into Olivia's. Since the Lieutenant had foregone regular weekly visits, his natural assumption was that something in her life was troubling her.

"It's been a year."

Confusion crossed the doctor's face.

"Since Dodds died," she clarified.

"And you're feeling…" He paused, leaving it up to her to complete the sentence.

"The thing is, I hadn't been feeling _anything_ ," Olivia began, "So much has happened since then. We're getting a new house, I got married, I have Sarah and Brooke, we went to Paris, and then, of course, my job."

"Well, then, the question is, have you mourned and experienced the full cycle of grief or have all these other wonderful things in your life _delayed_ it?"

"I don't know. We, Ed and I and Rollins, went to the cemetery today. Mike's mother conducted this, I'm not sure what it was, but a memorial ceremony."

"And, how did you react? Being faced with his death all over again?"

"I'm sad for Chief Dodds." Olivia told him about meeting the Chief and his son for drinks and initially being reluctant to even mention Sarah or Brooke or Noah because talking about her family emphasized the gaping hole in his.

"You'll probably always be sad for him," Lindstrom counseled, "But you cannot feel guilty for your happiness. Every time you're here, you absolutely light up when you talk about Ed and the kids. You don't see yourself do it, but I do, and I'm sure others do as well; nobody is judging you for being happy, Olivia, and you cannot judge yourself for it, either."

She fell silent as she absorbed what he said.

"There's another thing."

"What's that?"

She explained what happened after the Terrence Reynolds verdict and how much she'd been consumed by anxiety and worry when Ed was sent to the very neighborhood where Terrence died. "He was right in the middle of it," she said, "The potential…for riots, for firebombs, who knows what, it was all right in front of me. I was scared. I'm afraid I'll lose him. I don't know what I would do if I lost him. I feel…like everything is so fragile, or maybe even temporary." Tears welled in her eyes and she reached for a tissue. "Like, sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and have some time to myself, think about how happy I am…and then, inevitably, I think about how devastated I'd be if it all went away."

"Olivia, nothing is guaranteed, but, on the other side of the coin, _you_ are not _cursed_. Your life is extraordinary, yes, and what you consider to be normal—husband, kids, _family_ —you have it now. It came in a non-traditional way, but it's there. You've got to seize it; constantly worrying about losing your loved ones diminishes your capacity to truly enjoy your life."

Olivia stopped crying. "I didn't realize Ed transferring from IAB would affect me like this."

"Well, it's been about a year since he made the switch, right?"

"Yes."

"And, just recently, that was the first time you sensed there was heightened danger?"

Olivia nodded.

"In your jobs, those things happen, Olivia. The shooting and those indictments, the trial, all of it, generally speaking, was a unique situation, and you responded appropriately. When circumstances are beyond the norm, it's our human nature to be alarmed. And you, even though you think you've seen it all, are not exempt from that truth."

Olivia pressed her lips together. A recurrent theme of Lindstrom's was that she was not superhuman, and if she tried to be, disappointment would inevitably follow. Yet, that point was distressing. She was more comfortable with her vulnerability and imperfections because of Ed; without him, the stability and support he provided crumbled.

Lindstrom yanked her out of her thoughts, "Olivia, your days of feeling abandoned are over. You have to accept that. There is no point in torturing yourself with worst-case scenarios."

She let the command swirl around in her head. There was no point in asking how exactly to do this; Olivia knew what to do. She'd spent her entire life working through issues like this one, only now she had Ed, Noah, and the girls in her life. Sometimes she didn't know which was worse—being alone or having everything and being afraid it will suddenly be taken away.

"I've told you previously," Lindstrom continued, "Spend your energy _loving_ them. That, you can control."

Olivia smiled, accepting this. Time was up, and there were boxes, a husband, and a three-year-old waiting for her at home.

"Olivia, one more thing."

"What's that?"

Lindstrom smiled. "I'm thrilled for you. Truly thrilled. And I want you to be thrilled for yourself."

 _I'll try._

…..

"Yes, Ed, right there."

"Here?"

Olivia groaned, "No, just a little…are you ok?"

"This position's a little awkward."

"Almost there. Ok. Stop!"

Ed held the ceiling fan's globe in both hands while balanced precariously on a ladder. He and Olivia left most of the renovating to hired help, but the man of the house insisted on doing some things himself. Installing Noah's ceiling fan fell into that category. Olivia stood under him with her arms extended, ready to cushion his fall if he tumbled backwards. She didn't want him hurt, but, if he tumbled down, she would have trouble mustering sympathy. Of all the projects he undertook, she was baffled as to why the _ceiling fans_ were one of them.

Once the ceiling plate and globe were facing the way Olivia wanted them, Ed got to work connecting the wires.

"The electricity's off, right?" Olivia asked.

Ed laughed, "Uh, _yeah_ , if it weren't I'd be electrocuted by now."

"But the kitchen lights are on."

"The breaker's by room."

Olivia was clueless. "Oh."

"Screwdriver, please."

Olivia handed him the tool, lightly poking his behind in the process.

"Hey." He snapped playfully. "Not _now."_

"You're doing such a good job up there. It's kinda sexy."

"Save the flirting for later, sweetheart."

Olivia put her hands on the back of his thighs.

" _Liv_."

"I'm just bracing you," she replied innocently.

Ed said something, but the buzz of the electric screwdriver droned over his words. Once the first two screws were in and the fan was secure, he could resume a more natural stance and Olivia stepped back.

"Blades," he requested.

One by one she fed him the blades. After the fourth and final one was in, he clapped his hands. "Ok, let's see if it works. Be right back. I'm gonna turn the power back on."

Ed returned, handed Olivia the fan's remote control and flipped the switch on the wall. She hit the remote and played with the different settings. It worked perfectly.

"Nice job," she complimented.

He sidled up to her. "Thanks. Let's, uh, leave it on. If it falls I'd rather have it happen when it's just us here."

"I don't think it'll fall," Olivia purred, going in for a kiss.

"No?"

"No, you did a perfect installation." Olivia brought her hand to his face. It was damp and flushed. His hairline was matted where he'd wiped sweat from his brow.

"Movers will be back at the apartment at two."

Ed and Olivia decided to do some minor work at their new home because the new living room set—a sectional, large easy chair, a coffee table, and two side tables were scheduled for delivery. Sarah, Brooke, and Noah were at the old place, tasked with taping and labeling. The moving company was scheduled for early the next morning. Tonight would be their last sleep in the old place.

The breeze created by the new fan wafted over them as they shared a few kisses among the few Noah things they'd brought over so far. The rocking chair was in a corner, and, in the opposite corner was the spot Ed reserved for the new train table, twice as long as his old one. Under the windows were built-in shelves which already held most of his books. For the first time, he had a closet, and Olivia had already filled it.

Olivia hugged Ed tightly and swayed with him in the middle of the room, "I love the blue on the walls…not too light and not too dark."

"I love that it's three times the size of what he had before."

"He'll grow up in this room," Olivia mused.

"Yeah." He rubbed her back and kissed her head, "He'll get ready for his first date in here." Ed felt her body shake with laughter.

"I was thinking more about…his first day of _school_."

Ed continued in a sly voice, "He'll sneak his first girlfriend in here when we're sleeping…"

" _Ed_!"

"He'll sneak _out_ of here while we're sleeping…"

"I'm so glad I'm not alone in this."

"I'm lookin' forward to experiencing all of it with you, Liv. _All_ of it."

Right before their kiss departed from innocent, the buzz of the intercom pierced the quiet.

"Couch." Ed mumbled, his lips still on hers.

"Come on," Olivia took him by the hand, "I can't wait to see how it looks."

While they waited for the delivery men to arrive via the service elevator, Olivia noticed something on the newly installed granite counter and it enticed her to give Ed one more quick smooch.

The family cookbook he'd purchased several weeks ago was strategically placed next to the range.

…..

Detective Dumas was already in the squad room when Olivia arrived. Rollins was there, too, working at her desk.

"Morning, Lieutenant," she said, hardly looking up from her computer. "Dume brought bagels."

"Good morning," Olivia replied, passing on the bagels. "Hi Detective."

"Hey, Lieutenant."

"Why don't you come on back?"

Dumas followed her apprehensively and closed the door behind him.

"Have a seat," Olivia offered collegially. "So, it's been a long time for you. Good to be back?"

"Yeah, listen, Lieutenant, I know you're probably not particularly happy about this, uh, arrangement, but I think if I just prove myself, _again_ , I may be able to get outta your hair."

Olivia frowned. "That's not really what I want to hear, Dume."

"It's not? Dodds told me you weren't pleased."

"He said that?"

"Not in so many words, but I got the message."

Dismay clouded her face. What the hell was wrong with the Chief? "I was surprised," she explained slowly. "Look, I know you're good police, and I want you to be comfortable here. What I don't want is for you to think of this as temporary. At least give it a sincere try. If you're just biding your time until something better comes along, then we have a problem."

"Message received."

"Welcome to SVU," she said with a smile.

He returned the grin. "Thanks, Lieutenant. I'll get to work. Rollins has me on street cams."

"Let me know if you get something."

…

"Liv, I can't find Noah."

The pretend panic in Ed's voice suggested he _could_ find Noah.

" _Shhh_ ," Olivia hissed.

Tiny footsteps echoed throughout the cacophonous space as Noah pattered from one hiding spot to another.

"I think I hear something," Olivia announced loudly.

"I don't know," Ed replied doubtfully, "I think he's gone. Maybe, when the movers took his bed, he was still in it?"

"Uh-oh."

"Noah?"

"Noah, sweet boy? Are you here?"

"I guess we'll have to move without him," Ed concluded with exaggerated sadness, "I guess we bought all those new trains for nothing."

"We'll have to take them back."

Noah fell for his parents' bribe and came sprinting out from behind a pile of boxes labeled "bathroom" and into his mother's arms. He looked around frantically.

"You take trains back?"

Ed chuckled, "No, bud, the trains are already over in your new room, so it's a good thing we found you!" Included in the living room furniture delivery was a new table, long enough to accommodate the additional track Ed purchased.

"I hide in the boxes."

"We thought the movers took you!"

Noah giggled, "I right here, Mommy!"

Olivia hugged him tightly and let out a sigh of relief. "Now, do you think we can find your shoes? Sarah and Brookey are going to take you to lunch while the men move the rest of the boxes."

Noah squirmed to get down, "I have the shoes." He disappeared among the maze of cardboard and reappeared with his Adidas Velcro sneakers.

"Need help getting them on, bud?"  
"No, Daddy, I do it." Noah sat and fumbled with the footwear for a minute but successfully got the shoes on the correct feet and tightened the straps.

"I ready. Where the sisters?"

Ed punched in Sarah's contact information and handed Noah his phone. "Here ya go, bud, it's Sarah."

Noah held the phone to his ear and paced through the barren living room like he was in the middle of an extremely important call. "Hi Sarah!"

Ed easily heard his daughter's reply. _God, she was loud_.

"Hi Noey!"

"Where _are_ you? I fawt you eat pizza with me!"

Noah turned to Ed, "Sisters down there."

"What?"

Noah scampered over to the window and tried to pull himself up to look out with one hand while dangling the phone with the other. Ed took it from him before he dropped it.

"Sare?"

"We're downstairs, Dad, we just hit the buzzer."

"We didn't hear it. Hit it again."

"I _did_ hit it again."

"Didn't hear it."

" _Dad_ , just let us in, jeez."

Ed hustled over to buzz them in and when he returned Olivia was grinning from ear to ear.

"What?"

"You're hilarious."

…

Olivia meandered through the empty apartment, opening closets and drawers, making sure they hadn't overlooked anything. Her inspection was a mere formality; she knew the apartment was devoid of all their belongings. Ed was leaning against the counter doing something on his phone. An assortment of extra keys were laid out in front of him and two plastic iced coffee cups hovered in puddles of condensation.

"Well, this is it," Olivia said.

He slid the phone in his pocket and held his arms out for her. "Yeah. How do you feel?"

She collapsed into him. "So much has happened here—everything from the worst time in my life to the best times. I guess I feel…strong. Like, I survived all these horrible things and came out on the other side with Noah and you and Sarah and Brooke, and I'm excited to move on with all of you."

"You're a survivor, Liv. I love that about you."

She breathed into his shoulder, soaking up the security of his embrace.

"But, you deserve, so much, to be happy and at peace…I'm gonna make sure that's what our new _home_ is all about."

"You're so optimistic."

"Maybe," he replied and kissed her head, "But ever since we got together, that's all I've wanted to do."

"You have." She leaned back to look at him, "And you're also quite sappy at the moment, Captain. I like it."

"I love you so much. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

" _Ed_."

"I'm serious." He gazed intently at her, "You gave me a chance to love you. That wasn't easy."

She gave him a quick peck on the lips, "Give yourself some credit. I'm not the only one who had to let my guard down."

"Yeah, I really had to _prove_ I was lovable."

"That didn't take long."

"It seemed like forever."

Olivia ran her fingers through his hair and lovingly gazed at him. He looked back at her with pursed lips and a vulnerability that he only allowed her to see.

"I saw Lindstrom earlier this week."

"I know."

Olivia didn't usually give him details of her sessions, but she did tell him when she went.

"You know what he told me before I left?"

"What's that?"

"He said that I needed to be thrilled for myself."

"Are you?"

"I'm thrilled for _us_ , Ed. That's how I feel right now. Absolutely thrilled for us."

He brought her in for one last kiss. They held each other tightly and remained locked in the tender smooch for a few minutes, eyes open for part of the time, soaking up the history and passion they shared with one another.

"We better go," Olivia whispered when they paused to catch a collective breath.

Ed kissed her forehead, "We'll continue this later?"

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Leave the keys here or with the doorman?"

"Doorman."

Ed slid the keys into his hand and deposited them in an envelope. Olivia collected their cups and used her sleeve to dry the damp rings. Hand in hand, they walked out of the apartment, taking one last over-the-shoulder glance before closing the door for the final time.

…

Noah took what the adults estimated to be his tenth lap through the apartment. He started in the foyer, skipped the office which was crammed with nonessential boxes, peeked in the closets, scampered along the perimeter of the combined living room and dining room, circled the kitchen island, entered the hallway leading to the bedrooms, darted in and out of his parents' room, peeked into the hall bathroom, and then collapsed on his bed for a few minutes before running the route again, this time in reverse order.

"Is there a unit below you?" Brooke asked as if she expected an angry neighbor to come knocking at any minute.

"I assume so," Ed responded. "But I think there's concrete between floors. We've never heard anyone."

"How often have you been here?" Sarah asked. She had a jovial glint in her eye suggesting she knew Ed and Olivia had snuck away to christen and, perhaps, rechristen the place.

Ed answered matter-of-factly, "We've been here a lot—painters, appliances, furniture…"

"I lovvvve this couch, Livvie!" Sarah leaned back into the plush microfiber.

"Watch that drink," Ed scolded.

Brooke plucked the wine glass from her sister's hands, "I think my favorite part is your bathroom. It's huge!"

"No, the kitchen's the best," Sarah said, "And this _view_!" She propelled herself up and pressed her forehead against the glass to take in the sights to the south and west.

"Sarah," Ed muttered again, "You're smudging the window."

"Oh for God's sake, Dad, you have a _child_ living here. You don't think the window's gonna get smudged?"

"So far the only print on that window is yours."

Sarah pouted. "Livvie, where's the Windex?"

"I have no idea. Don't worry about it. We'll do a massive cleaning job after we get unpacked."

Sarah bounced over to Olivia and kissed the top of her head, "I love you so much. More wine, anyone?"

Noah darted out of the hallway and stopped in front of Sarah. "You see my T-Rex train?"

"Yes, Noey, I saw it!"

He grabbed her hand, "See it again!"

Obediently, Sarah allowed herself to be dragged to Noah's room. She marveled at the blue walls, the train, his pristine white bookshelves, and the new train table. "Wow, No! Lookit all this track!"

"You race, Sarah. Here, you have the red one."

"I want yellow."

"No, yellow is Brookey."

"You're bossy."

Noah giggled, "You bossy."

"No, YOU'RE BOSSY!"

Their volley soon became loud enough for Brooke, Ed, and Olivia to hear.

Brooke shook her head, "You guys are gonna get kicked out."

Olivia laughed and went to refill her wine since Sarah had been sidetracked. When she came back she sat in the large chair with Ed. "Everyone's just excited. We're normally quiet people." She felt Ed pinch a part of her hip that was out of Brooke's sight. Acknowledging the suggestive touch, she rubbed the back of his head.

Sarah returned with Noah draped on her back, wine glass still in her hand. " _Guys_ ," she announced dramatically, "I don't feel right. I feel…so…heavy. Like there's something _growing_ on me. And I just can't figure out what it is!" She stood up straight and Noah strained to hold on as she shook her torso.

"Sarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrah."

Abruptly, she stopped.

"Noah?"

"Sarah!"

She craned her neck around and backed him up towards Ed and Olivia. Ed grabbed him and brought him into their lap. "Almost bedtime, bud. First night in our new house."

Olivia ran her fingers along his neck, signaling she knew what he was doing. Ed never initiated bedtime if he and Olivia were home at the same time. In fact, she was quite confident he let Noah stay up significantly later than he was supposed to when she wasn't there.

"Sare, let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"Quinn's?"

"Yay!"

"Alright Noah," Olivia stood up, "Say goodbye to Brooke and Sarah and tell them thank you."

He ran over and doled out hugs and kisses. As they made their way towards the door, he called, "Bye-bye sisters!"

"Bye, brother!" They said in unison.

Ed carried Noah to his bedroom and wrestled him into his pajamas. Noah picked out two books. "We read in da big chair?"

"Sure bud."

Olivia stopped what she was doing and joined them. Enraptured, she kept her eyes glued on Ed as he switched back and forth between character voices and unabashedly made all the animal noises.

Noah's request for a third book was denied. Instead Ed stood up with him perched on a hip and carried him to the window. "Say goodnight to Manhattan, pal."

Noah gaped at the sparkling skyscrapers-a view way more expansive than he was used to. "Night night Ma'hattan," he cooed in his sweet toddler voice before Ed flipped him upside down in front of Olivia.

"Night, sweet boy. I love you."

"Love you, Mommy!"

….

Ed and Olivia unpacked a few kitchen boxes while they waited for Noah to fall asleep. Every ten minutes or so, Ed froze and listened. Noah had a habit of talking to himself before he sacked out. Finally, a half hour or so after he was in bed, all was silent.

"C'mon," he whispered.

Olivia left a half-unpacked box on the counter and followed him to the master bedroom where they immediately crashed into each other. Ed opened his mouth wide, half-kissing-half-consuming her face. He cursed her belt before finally yanking it loose, and he pushed her pants down as far as he could reach before she kicked them the rest of the way off. While he continued his ferocious exploration of her face and neck she unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and shoved him backwards on the bed.

Propped up on his elbows, he cast a sly smile at her as she seductively removed her t-shirt and bra.

"Whatcha got, Benson?"

She half-dove on top of him and, in contrast to his initial moves, kissed him deeply, running her tongue over his slowly and seductively, causing him to gasp a little which she enjoyed.

"I love when you kiss me like that, Liv."

"Make me scream," she hissed into his mouth.

He got the reference to what she said earlier and muttered, "But we're normally quiet people."

She ran her fingers up and down his arms and repeated the kiss he loved so much. "No we're not," she mumbled then let out a little yelp as Ed lifted her up, his biceps bulged as he held her above him, took each of her breasts into his mouth, and then gently tossed her onto her back.

"You better get something," he advised as he ran his tongue the length of her body before stopping between her legs.

"Oh God, _Ed_."

He flicked and probed with his tongue and fingers until Olivia's back arched and, for the first time that night, she shuddered and shrieked into a pillow in response to her fiery orgasm. He was slow to leave her center, biting at her thighs and hips before swirling his tongue around her belly button.

"What else you want, baby?"

"Fuck me, Ed. Hard."

Ed started on top, but they jostled one another around for a few minutes, nipping at shoulders and earlobes, teasing, conceding, and teasing again. They teetered near the edge of the bed and instead of moving towards the center, Ed lifted her the short distance to their brand new oversized chair and ottoman, fell into it, and pulled Olivia down to him. He put his hands on her hips to slow her down a bit while she straddled him before guiding her backwards onto the ottoman.

"We gonna have to get a new chair?" He grunted as he resumed his thrusts, picking up the pace, knowing he was close.

"Scotch Gard."

Their chuckles quickly turned into gasps and moans. Tucker pulled at her hair as he melted inside of her and she threw her head back as her body seized under him yet again. He bit at her throat as he collapsed on top of her; their limbs hung awkwardly off the sides of the oversized ottoman.

Olivia put her palms on his chest, "Hey, Captain, why don't we try out that new shower?"

They lingered in the shower for a while, playing with the attachments, taking turns with the loofah, Ed used way too much conditioner on Olivia's hair and had to work diligently to rinse it out. They dried off and cuddled together under the covers, still naked with damp hair and eyes radiant with passionate serenity.

Olivia traced his cheekbones with her index finger. "There's something I've been thinking about."

He lightly nipped at her finger as she ran it over his lips. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she smiled coyly, "My name and Noah's name, I'm changing it to Tucker."

Ed wanted to object out of politeness or at least ask if she was sure, but he couldn't hide the fact that this development elated him.

"Does that make you happy?"

"It does. But that's not why you should do it."

"I was waiting for the right time. And it's now. Not that the past couple of years haven't been amazing, but, I feel like we're in this new chapter…and I want to be Mrs. Tucker. And I want Noah to have the same name as his Daddy. I want the… _uniformity_ that comes with family."

"I want that too."

"So, I'll get that paperwork done Monday."

"How long does it take?"

"I'm assuming it's immediate."

"So Monday, dinner, it'll be the three Tuckers."

"It will be. Maybe we can use the cookbook."

"I thought you kinda had a bad attitude about that."

"I _promise_ you, I don't."

He reached over to touch her face. "You're gonna have to get all new cards, driver's license, everything."

"I couldn't care less about that."

"I was being honest…when I told you before we got married that it didn't bother me…but it musta been, in the back of my mind, because, right now Liv, I feel, I don't know, just-"

She helped him out, "Even more connected?"

"Yeah, that's it. I didn't think it was possible to be _more_ connected."

She nestled her body closer to his, feeling sleep coming on. "I feel the same way. Like it was the last link we needed to take care of."

"Yeah," Ed sighed starting to feel drowsy himself. He snuggled her more tightly and whispered, "I love you so much, Liv. So, so much."

"I love you, Ed." She craned her neck to kiss him. "G'night."

"Night, sweetheart."

…..

#Tuckson


	14. Chapter 14

_Still April 2017…_

 **Housewarming, Part I: Family Only**

Olivia broke down yet another box as quietly as possible, propped it against the foyer wall, and grabbed another. This one had obviously been packed last. It was labeled "kitchen" but it held random items—board games, two Nalgene water bottles, a stack of envelopes, dish towels, a couple of microwave meals, and a small plastic case. She laid out the items on the counter, repeated the flattening routine, and returned to the kitchen.

Her breath caught in her throat and she jumped, not expecting Ed to be there. A hand flew to her chest. "Oh my God," she gasped. "I didn't hear you."

Ed wrapped his arms around her waist, "Sorry." He let his hands slip just inside the waistband of her pajama pants and kissed her.

"You're forgiven."

Ed surveyed the area. The kitchen opened to the living and dining area; one could enjoy the immaculate view from anywhere in the large room. Their new sectional, gray herringbone rug, and side tables had a clean, modern look. Ed appreciated that Olivia preferred a neutral color scheme. The furniture was upholstered in dark gray microfiber, and they'd chosen turquoise throw pillows for spring. The space was lit by a combination of recessed lighting, floor and table lamps, and, of course, the natural light streaming in from the windows. There was plenty of room for a large dining table and chairs which they hadn't purchased yet, and the artwork still needed to be hung, but Ed was satisfied with the progress they'd made in less than twenty-four hours.

Olivia handed him a mug and started stowing the contents of the random box.

"Thanks," Ed said, "Where do you want me to start?"

"Drink your coffee and keep me company in here," Olivia replied, "Then maybe the boxes in the office?"

"Yes ma'am."

She kissed his cheek. "You're the best."

Ed was attempting to ensnare her in a more passionate smooch when Noah's footsteps echoed from the hallway. Ed and Olivia turned to greet him as he emerged.

"Mornin' bud!"

"Hi, sweet boy!"

Noah appeared confused. He looked up at the ceiling, at his parents, and then fixated on the windows. Olivia picked him up, "Did you like sleeping in your new room?"

"Da room big, Mommy."

"Yes. And so is this one. Our new house is _so_ big!"

"You have big room, too."

"Yep, Daddy and I have a huge room! Do you remember our tub? You can take a bath in it tonight. It will make bubbles!"

"Oooooo!"

Ed handed Noah his sippy cup. "You hungry, No?"

Noah shook his head.

"Ok, little man. Mommy and Daddy are going to unpack some boxes. What do you want to do?"

"Wanna go out there," Noah pointed to the windows.

"Want to sit in your beanbag?"

"I have iPad?"

"Why don't you read some books first, sweetheart? Then I'll give you the iPad."

Noah squirmed to get down. He went over to his bean bag, inspected the pile of books, chose one, and started "reading."

Ed grinned at him from the other side of the island. "He's such a good kid."

"Let's hope he stays that way."

"He will."

Olivia screwed up her face, "Wait a minute. Weren't you the one who said he'd be sneaking out of here?"

"Maybe he'd be sneaking out to…go do late-night volunteer work at a shelter or something."

Olivia shook her head disbelievingly.

Ed held the smaller case Olivia pulled out earlier. "What's this?"

"I think it has pictures in it," she said, "Open it."

Indeed, the box was full of loose photos, mostly from when Olivia was much younger. Ed sorted through them, teasing her about former hair styles and wardrobe choices. He came to one of Serena. It looked like it could have possibly been an official university photo. She was seated in a brown leather chair, book in her lap and eyeglasses in hand.

"This is a good one of your mom," Ed remarked.

Olivia glanced over, "Yeah it is."

"You think she woulda liked me?"

"Yes I do," she replied assuredly, thinking that she was sure she'd previously made that assurance. "I wish she could see how happy you make me."

"Maybe she can."

Olivia smiled. Ed, the lapsed Catholic, had trouble completely abandoning the religion he'd grown up with. She sidled up to him and looked on. More nineties hair and nineties clothes. Then he came to one that looked more recent. She wore a floppy beach hat, a white cover up, and oversized sunglasses as the photographer captured her doing a little dance on the ocean shore.

"Where was this?" He asked.

Olivia bit her lip. "Bahamas."

Ed's face fell, "Oh."

" _Ed_." Olivia felt his body go rigid and she kneaded his back.

"I don't like thinking about you and him."

"You still think about that?"

"No, but now I am."

She piled the pictures back in the box, and snapped the lid closed, leaving the beach picture out.

"Whaddya gonna do with that?"

"Get rid of it."

"Seriously?"'

"Yes. It bothers you."

"I'm sorry, Liv," his face filled with remorse, "But I just can't _stand_ the idea of you being with someone else."

Olivia played with his fingers. "I get it."

"How can you possibly get it?"

"I don't like thinking of you with another woman."

"I've never loved anyone like I love you," Ed said, "But you loved _him_." He was deliberately avoiding saying Brian's name.

"I thought I did," Olivia admitted, "But whatever it was…it certainly was not what we have. So, the picture's going away forever…and you and I are going to unpack _our_ family pictures and arrange them in _our_ _new_ _home_."

"And tomorrow you'll be Olivia Margaret Tucker."

"Correct."

He kissed her again, "Thank you for putting up with me."

"It's not that difficult," Olivia teased and slid her hands under his shirt.

"Careful, Lieutenant."

She gazed at him adoringly, "I love you."

"I love _you_."

They locked eyes for a few minutes until Noah came scampering in, requesting food.

"We have leftover pizza and cereal but no milk," Olivia reported.

They both laughed at Noah's baffled expression. He'd never been offered pizza for breakfast before.

"How 'bout I run out and get a few things?" Ed suggested. "No, wanna go to the market with me? We'll get some ingredients and Mommy can make us breakfast." Ed winked mischievously at his wife.

"We eat pizza?" Noah asked hopefully.

"How about," Olivia said, "We have breakfast pizza? There's a recipe for it in the book Daddy bought." She glanced at Ed, hoping she'd proven once and for all she didn't have a bad attitude about the family cookbook.

He smiled. "I better make a list."

…

Sarah and Brooke stopped by later that day to check on progress. Characteristically, Sarah burst in, only this time she couldn't do her typical flouncing about because she was burdened with housewarming gifts. Brooke trailed her, four large shopping bags dangling from her forearms because she was also balancing a sheet cake with both hands.

"Omigod!" Sarah exclaimed. She was immobilized but no less enthusiastic. "This place looks GREAT! Like you've lived here forever! Where'd all the boxes go?"

Ed took the plant from her and Sarah heaved the rest of her bags on the island. Brooke struggled to kick off her shoes in the foyer. Sarah, of course, didn't bother taking off her shoes.

"Noah ran over to her, crouched down, and untied her sneakers. "It tight, Brookey," he grunted. Determined, he furrowed his brow and leaned in to evaluate the knot. He tugged a few more times and finally loosened the laces. Brooke smiled at him as he lifted one ankle at a time and yanked each Chuck Taylor from her feet. "Dere ya go!" He announced proudly. "You free!"

"Thanks No," Brooke said dryly, making her way into the main room. "I'm glad _someone_ here is concerned about me."

Ed and Sarah stood shoulder to shoulder evaluating the leveling of the artwork. At the sound of Brooke's voice, they snapped to attention, both wearing innocent, wide-eyed expressions.

Brooke grinned, "You two look just alike," she remarked with the resigned frustration of the good child who was consistently outmatched by her sister's innate charm. Brooke and Ed had a great relationship, but she was the pragmatic, level-headed, responsible child. Sarah drove him absolutely crazy, but even when he was scowling at her, there was no mistaking his adoration for his younger daughter's energy and spontaneity.

Sarah closely analyzed her father's face, "I guess we kinda do," she murmured, "Except, of course, for all this gray hair!"

"You just wait," Ed warned.

Sarah shrugged, "At least you're not bald. I don't think Livvie woulda thought you were so hot if you were bald."

Ed rolled his eyes. He didn't have a comeback for that one.

Noah was straining to see what exactly Brooke had in her hands. He obviously suspected it was something that fell in the dessert category. Ed hurried over and took the cake from her. "Welcome home, Dad, Mom, and Noah." He read. "Well, thanks girls!"

Brooke slung her set of bags on the counter opposite the island, "You're welcome. So there's cake, we got some groceries, and, Sarah…well, she'll have to walk you through all the stuff she bought. Where's Olivia?"

"She just got out of the shower. Lemme go tell her you're here."

Ed went to the bedroom and found Olivia leaning over the vanity, head cocked at an odd angle, inspecting herself in the mirror. A towel was wrapped around her head and she was wearing a tank top and black panties.

"Liv?"

She mumbled a hello and continued whatever it was she was doing.

"Sarah and Brooke are here."

"Ok."

"Something wrong?"

"I'm going to have to be creative with my attire for the next couple days. Look at this."

Ed came closer. On Olivia's neck, just above her collarbone, was an oval-shaped pinkish-purple discoloration. It wasn't the first time something like that appeared on her body, but usually he was better at placement. " _Oh_ …sorry. It's…not that bad. You can't see it from a distance."

"I'll be fine."

"If it makes you feel any better," Ed rolled up his t-shirt to reveal faint bite marks on his shoulder, "You left these."

Olivia kissed the shoulder and then kissed him on the lips, "That looks like it hurt."

"I don't remember it _hurting_ , you know, at least not in a bad way." He planted a few open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone. "I'll be gentle tonight." His hands drifted inside her top and he massaged her bare breasts. "Or right now."

"Sarah and Brooke are here."

"This door locks."

" _Ed_."

"Ok, ok. I'll be good."

"I'll be out in a few minutes."

He gave her one last kiss. "You know how you were so happy the island was clear when you came in here to get cleaned up?"

"Yeah," Olivia replied slowly.

"Well, that feeling was short-lived."

"What did they buy?"

"They haven't shown me everything yet. But, a cake and, uh, _groceries_."

"They're so sweet."

"If you say so," he grumbled, "I better get back out there. Noah may have eaten half the cake by now. They let him do whatever he wants."

Olivia cocked an eyebrow.

"So do you."

"That is _not_ true. When I picked him up from day care Friday he wanted a hot dog _and_ a pretzel and I made him choose one."

Olivia slid on a pair of jeans and looked around for a regular t-shirt. "He never asks for that kind of stuff when I pick him up. You know why?"

Ed's expression indicated he did not.

Olivia slapped his ass on the way out of the bedroom, "Because I say _no_."

Ed followed, admiring the way she looked in jeans.

Sarah, Noah, and Brooke were sitting in a circle on the floor where the dining table was supposed to be rolling cars back and forth to one another.

"Hey guys!" Olivia greeted them with her usual warm smile.

Brooke caught the car Noah slid over to her. "Hi Liv! It looks awesome out here!"

Sarah agreed, "Livvie, we knew you'd be all organized quickly, so we brought a bunch of stuff to reclutter your life!" she dipped her head towards the kitchen.

"Well thanks," Olivia said brightly and bent down to Noah's level. "Did you eat some cake?"

Noah shook his head and answered firmly, "No, Mommy."

"No?"

"Uh-uh."

"Well what did you eat?"

Noah glanced at Sarah and said, " _One_ Reesy cup. Sarah said no cake." He'd clearly been coached to say _one_.

Sarah giggled and pulled Noah over to her, "You're perfect, Noey. The best brother ever."

"You best sister."

"What about Brookey?"

"Brookey best sister too."

"You're the best."

"No, you're the best."

"No, you're the best."

Ed rubbed his face with both hands and went to the kitchen to sort through his daughters' gifts. Brooke lifted herself from the floor and went over to help him, leaving Olivia and Sarah alone with Noah. While Noah occupied himself with a stuck matchbox car door, Sarah grinned slyly at Olivia and hooked her t-shirt collar with a finger, exposing the blemish.

" _Hmmmm_." Her eyes narrowed. "What's this?"

"Hazardous moving conditions," Olivia replied breezily.

"I'll say." Sarah's eyes danced with joy. She loved witnessing how in love they were; she also loved to tease her Dad about it, but she decided to back off this one after Olivia gave her a stern glance that clearly said _keep quiet_.

Olivia and Sarah joined Brooke and Ed at the island. Their view of one another was partially obstructed by the plant.

"This is a good luck bamboo," Sarah explained.

"Are you implying we need luck?" Ed asked.

"Oh, Daddy, of course not. It's the only plant that didn't need to be watered constantly," Sarah explained, "Brooke didn't want to even get a plant, but I told her it was required for new homes."

Brooke mocked her, "In addition to an MBA, Sarah also has a degree in etiquette."

"Well, thank you," Olivia said graciously. "It looks good in here."

Ed rifled through the other items—Jo Malone soaps, hand towels with an embroidered "T," drink coasters, bottles of wine, a candle, and-

Ed held up a small glass bottle and squinted to read the label, " _Massage_ _oil_?"

The women cracked up.

"I thought maybe, you know, after a hard day fighting crime you may need it," Sarah chirped.

Olivia hugged Brooke and Sarah, "Thank you so much, ladies. All of this is great. Unnecessary, but great."

"We don't want to keep you from whatever you need to do," Brooke said, "So we'll get going."

"Stay for cake," Olivia insisted.

Sarah readily accepted the invitation and reached for one of the wine bottles, "It'll go great with this port. Daddy, have you unpacked your glasses yet?"

Ed looked at his wife quizzically.

"Not those," Olivia answered, "We'll have to use juice glasses."

"Noey!" Sarah called, "I told you we'd have cake. C'mon!"

Noah abandoned his cars and ran over. Sarah swung him up so he was sitting next to the cake. She wielded a knife and asked him how big he wanted his piece to be.  
He held his arms out wide. "This big!"

She pretended to carefully measure the size, "One, two, three, four…hmmm, adjusted to scale, alright, here ya go," Sarah cut a quarter of the cake and was very close to lifting it onto a plate when Ed grumbled at her to stop.

Olivia put him on one of the bar chairs. "Ed, do we know where the booster seat is?"

"I think it's in his room. I'll get it."

"Sorry for the lack of seating," Olivia said, "We're going table shopping next weekend."

Brooke poured the wine and sampled it before passing out the glasses. "Mmmm, this is good. Here ya go, ladies."

"Cheers!"

"Are you gonna get a huge table, Livvie? That space is gigantic!"

"We'll take measurements. I saw a few online that seated eight, but that seems kind of big."

Brooke surveyed the space, "I think you're going to need a pretty good sized table or else it'll look weird."

"Maybe we should go with you," Sarah suggested.

"Sare, do you realize Dad and Olivia are _adults_? They don't need constant guidance and supervision."

Sarah dismissed the criticism, "Brooke, do you understand we are _family_ and it is our duty to be there for one another especially when one another is spending their money on new furniture?"

"I thought you were going to Philly next weekend?  
Olivia raised her eyebrows, "I thought your Dad was taking you?" In the chaos of the past few weeks, Olivia hadn't thought about Sarah's marital problems, but Sarah had also been avoiding the subject.

Ed returned, "Liv, I can't find it," he reported, exasperated.

"It's probably in the office. Don't worry about it. He's fine for now." The four of them simpered at Noah whose face was covered with crumbs and frosting.

Sarah slid Ed a plate and a glass. "Here ya go, Daddy."

"Thanks."

"We decided we're going with you to pick out a table and chairs."

Brooke swatted Sarah, "No we didn't."

Ed glanced at Olivia for clarification, but she just took an amused sip and gazed back at him lovingly.

" _Anyway_ ," Brooke said, "If I can steer us back to my unanswered question, I thought you were going to Philly next weekend?"

"That's not a question," Sarah snapped.

"You're avoiding the subject."

"Yes I am."

Ed interjected, "Am I supposed to be going with you?"

Defeat clouded Sarah's face. "You don't have to go, Dad. I need to do this alone."

The adults ate a few bites in silence. Noah's piece was now reduced to crumbs, and he picked at the miniscule pieces with his fingers. Sarah, who loved Noah but also appreciated that he was a useful distraction, asked him if he wanted another piece and he nodded vigorously. Neither Ed nor Olivia objected.

"At least take my truck," Ed offered.

Olivia put a hand on Sarah's back, "Are you sure you don't want one of us to go?"

"I'm sure," Sarah replied softly, "I was exaggerating before. The Phillies have games anyway, so he won't be home."

"Won't you need help moving your things?" Olivia asked.

"I'll just get the rest of my clothes and a few other things we need for the apartment. The big stuff can wait."

Ed rested against the island on his forearms, "Sare, where are you at with this whole thing?"

Sarah finished her port and poured more. "I told him he had a month. It has not yet been a month."

"What does that even mean?" Brooke asked. "Dad asked about _you_."

"I think I'm done," Sarah reported morosely, "I'm at home here. He'll never move to New York. I'm ready to get it over with and move on."

Ed cleared his throat. "You should probably tell him sooner rather than later. You can't go forward if you have this hanging over your head."

Olivia looked at him approvingly. He took a hands-off approach with his daughters and often acted indifferently, but when one of them was in distress, his fatherly instincts kicked in.

"You're right, Daddy," Sarah sighed. "What do I even do?"

Olivia had never seen her look so helpless, "You need to talk to Jeff. And then you'll file for divorce."

"Here?"

"You'll have to file in Pennsylvania. New York will only grant a divorce if you live here for a year." Olivia saw Ed raise his eyebrows and she patted his hand reassuringly, "I know this because of my _job_."

Brooke gave Sarah a little hug, "We'll look online when we get home."

"At least I didn't legally change my name," Sarah said with a hint of relief, "That would be a gigantic pain in the ass."

"Why didn't you do that?" Brooke asked.

"Because it was a _gigantic pain in the ass_ ," She repeated for emphasis, "Livvie, I totally agree with your decision not to change yours."

Olivia chuckled, "Actually, I'm changing it tomorrow."

Sarah squealed. "You ARE? Omigod! Yay!" She hugged Olivia's neck.

Ed snickered, "Two seconds ago you were agreeing with her _not_ changing it."

"I should've said I _understand_ it. Which I do. This is so great," Sarah gushed.

Brooke held up the towels, "Now I'm glad we just got the T. We almost bought T and B."

"Noah," Olivia prompted, "What's your new name baby boy?"

"I Noah Tucker!" He announced grandly, "Tucker like Daddy!"

Ed smiled proudly, "Yeah, bud. All of us are Tuckers."

"Sisters Tucker?"

"Yup, the sisters are Tuckers, too."

Brooke finished her cake and dutifully wiped Noah's face and hands. "Next time I pick you up, No, we'll practice writing your name." She removed his plate and fork and started filling the dishwasher.

"Yeah," Sarah added breezily, "I already taught him to add and subtract. He's gonna be the smartest kid in his kindergarten when he starts school! The teacher will be amazed!"

"Speaking of school," Ed said, "Brooke, do you have any news?"

"Still waiting to hear back. They usually don't have an idea of what they'll need until late May or so. But the interviews went really well."

"Good."

"Ok, so, I will go get my stuff next Sunday," Sarah was businesslike, "Saturday we'll shop for a table, and then we'll start planning your housewarming party."

"Our housewarming party?" Ed asked.

"I was hoping we could have a few people over," Olivia said, "You know, to celebrate."

"And show off these freaking gorgeous digs!" Sarah exclaimed.

To everyone's surprise, Ed enthusiastically agreed, "Yeah, that's a good idea. We need that table first."

"We're buying that Saturday," Sarah reminded him. "I'll get my stuff Sunday."

"Are you sure you don't want one of us to go with you?" Brooke asked. "At least to drive? You're a horrible driver."

"I am _not_."

"Yes you are. And when's the last time you drove anywhere?"

"I have no idea."

"Think about it," Olivia said. "I think I'd feel better if one of us went along."

"Me too," Ed said.

Sarah clasped her hands to her chest, "You _guys_. You're all so sweet and wonderful and, _gawwwwd_ , so, so, beautiful."

Brooke dramatically took Sarah's wine away from her, "And on that note, it's time to go."

Sarah snatched the wine back and defiantly downed the last sip, "Can't a girl love her family?"

"Yes, but you're so… _theatrical_ about it."

"That's the way I am. I shoulda been an actress. And, look at us," Sarah moved her head around slowly, hands extended, "We _are_ beautiful. Noah being the cutest, of course." She grabbed Noah and danced around with him in her arms. "Noey, don't you think we are the best looking family in the city?"

"In Ma'hattan?"

"You know we live in Manhattan?"

"Ma'hattan out there," He pointed at the windows.

"That's right, brother bear. Don't you just _love_ Manhattan?"

Noah played with Sarah's curls, "Love _you_ Sarah!"

"I'm dead," Brooke uttered, collapsing into the corner where the island and pillar met.

Sarah kissed Noah's forehead, held him tightly, and swayed to whatever music was playing in her head.

….

Ed dried off after showering, put on a pair of boxers, and joined Olivia in bed. She was reading a book and pretended not to be distracted when he dragged her over so his arm was around her and her head rested on his shoulder. Ed tried to leave her alone, but he lost his nerve after only a few minutes.

"How can you read after what we just did?"

Olivia tilted her head back. The sight of her straining a little to look at him through her oversized reading glasses made Ed want to toss the book aside and tear her clothes off for the second time that night.

"You've rendered me content, Captain."

"You were kinda quiet tonight."

"You were very gentle, as promised."

"Too gentle?"

"Perfect gentle."

"I don't think I left any marks."

"They take a few hours to show up. We'll see."

"When are _we_ going to get to use that Jacuzzi tub?"

After Sarah and Brooke left, they gave Noah a bath in their tub, and he splashed water everywhere playing with the jets. Olivia snapped several pictures of him surrounded by a mass of bubbles. She also documented the fit he threw when they announced it was time to get out.

"How about tomorrow night? It'll be a nice way to end the day after everything we have going on—name change, cooking dinner together…"

He kissed the top of her head, "Yeah, that'll be nice. I'm gonna try to leave early and finish unpacking before I get Noah."

"If you leave early, I can get him on my way home. Rollins is on late this week."

"Alright. Hey, if you don't want the girls going table shopping with us, that's ok with me ya know. I'll talk to them."

Olivia put the book and her glasses on the nightstand, sat up, and took Ed's hands in hers. "And if _you_ don't want to go table shopping, that's ok, too."

"I want you to get what you want. You can go with the girls and Noah and I'll hang out and do manly things...like go to the park."

Olivia leaned forward for a kiss. "You really don't like shopping, do you?"

"It was fun picking out the fixtures and that kinda stuff, but furniture? Nah."

"You were good with Sarah tonight," Olivia complimented and snuggled back into him, "You're such a good dad."

"I hope she lets one of us go with her," Ed murmured, "And not only because I don't want her driving my car." He felt Olivia's body shake with laughter, "Brooke's right. She's a terrible driver. Actually, her license may even be expired. I need to check that out."

"And I'm glad you're on board with the party. I know that's not your favorite thing in the world."

"Not usually," he said, "But I love this place and I love you and Noah, and I want other people to see that."

Olivia's jaw dropped.

"What? You don't think I'm proud of all this?"

She ran her fingers through his still-damp hair. "I know you are. And I am, too. It's just…you know when you used to tell me you had to remind yourself that _we_ were real?"

"Yeah."

"When you say things like that, I think I feel how you felt…so…grateful and happy and, I guess, satisfied."

"I'm never satisfied," Ed said. "I love you more every day, Liv, and I want you to love me more every day. I don't ever want us to be stuck, that ruins—"

Olivia put a finger to his lips. "Uh-uh. We're not going there. You're right, Ed. Love each other more every day. I think that's…that's what we're all about, isn't it?"

Ed's blue eyes blazed with intense passion as he kissed her. It was brief at first-he opened his mouth wide and took possession of her lips, paused to whisper, "That's all I've wanted to do since I bought you that first drink" and then, despite it being late and tomorrow's early start, he lifted her shirt over her head, and gave his wife two options.

"More gentle or less gentle than earlier?"

She responded immediately.

"Less."

….

 **upcoming attractions: jacuzzi tub, housewarming party, familiar faces, squad drama, OC drama, and #ALWAYS…#Tuckson sweetness**


	15. Chapter 15

_Ed and Sarah spend the day apart from their family to retrieve Sarah's things from Philadelphia. Housewarming Party is coming, I promise, but I had to tie up some loose ends first. We are in early May, 2017._

 **When One Door Closes…**

Ed and Sarah cruised down the New Jersey Turnpike early Sunday morning. In the cup holders were two venti Starbucks coffees, black regular roast for Dad and caramel macchiato for Daughter. So as to not immediately irritate her father, Sarah plugged in her phone and streamed U2 radio on Pandora, a compromise station they could both live with for the time being.

Ed took a sip and flinched. " _Damn_. That's still too hot. What the hell?"

"It's supposed to be hot, Daddy."

"You know, I always thought that lawsuit against McDonalds for too-hot coffee was stupid, but now I think I get it."

" _What_?" Sarah asked incredulously.

"A woman sued McDonalds because the coffee was too hot."

Sarah swatted at him but intentionally missed. "You're making that up."

"No I'm not."

"Did she win?"

"Yes."

Sarah Googled away and reported the details, "Yep, you're right. Settled for an undisclosed amount."

"Told ya."

The day before, after Sarah and Olivia spent the entire day going from store to store in search of the perfect table and chairs, the entire family ate dinner together and collectively convinced Sarah that Ed should go with her as previously planned. Sarah resisted until Ed finally pulled fatherly rank and told her there was no way he was allowing her to go on her own. He'd been thinking about worst-case scenarios all week, and even though he doubted Jeff would get violent, he wanted to err on the side of caution.

"If something happens to her, I'll never forgive myself," he muttered to Olivia during a brief moment alone.

Now the protective father sat with one arm draped over the wheel and the other resting along the window, enjoying the fluidity of early-morning traffic. Sarah was uncharacteristically quiet; he assumed the gravity of the trip was the cause, so he left her alone with her thoughts and got caught up in his own.

At home, Olivia was probably snuggled with Noah on the couch or maybe still in bed. He'd deposited Noah with her before he left which required him waking her up. Ed hated doing that, but he did enjoy watching her fight his efforts.

"Liv, I gotta go," he said, nuzzling under her ear. "Noah's up. You want me to bring him in here?"

"Mmmmmmmpppphhhh." She buried herself deeper into her pillow.

"You want me to take him with us?"

"Mmmmm-mmmm."

"Will you communicate in words, please?" He kissed her cheek and neck. "Maybe try opening those eyes?" He planted another open-mouth smooch on her closest eyelid, making sure it was a little sloppy.

She cringed, " _Ew_. That was _gross_!"

His lips curled into a smile as he recalled Olivia's scrunched-up face.

Sarah's frustrated voice jerked him back to the present. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you listening to me?"

No need to lie. "No."

"What's with that look on your face?"

"Huh?"

"You were thinking about Olivia, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"I knew it."

Ed shrugged. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying, before I interrupted your romantic daydream, that this will be the first time you see where I lived in Philly. You never _once_ came there."

Ed scowled at the accusation. "I helped you move in to your first apartment."

"I've moved twice since then."

"I tend to stay in the city."

Sarah reached over and gently touched her fist to her father's cheek, "Tend- _ED_. With Livvie you go all over the place. Let's _see_ …the Keys, the beach, Paris."

"When you have someone to travel with, you travel," Ed replied matter-of-factly, hoping this was not going to turn into two hours of Sarah professing her undying adoration for the state of his marriage.

"So what were ya thinkin' about?"

"I already told you."

Sarah let out an exasperated huff and then shot him a mischievous look, "No, I mean what, _specifically_ , were you thinking about?"

Part of Ed wanted to completely blow her mind and spew the most lurid, erotic details he could possibly muster at eight a.m. on a Sunday morning in a Ford Escape with his twenty-five-year-old daughter riding shotgun just to see if something like that would _finally_ satisfy her craving for the particulars of his life with Olivia.

"I was wondering if she was up yet."

Sarah grumbled, knowing he wasn't telling the full truth. "Why wouldn't she be up? Doesn't Noah get up at the crack of dawn? At least, he did when I watched him." She screwed up her face, "Well, that little shit better not have done that to me on purpose!"

"He didn't," Ed replied knowingly. "He's an early riser. Usually."

Sarah saw her Dad chew on the inside of his mouth in an attempt to return to a stern countenance, but he was failing miserably. "Daddy, you are soooo _cuuute_. I can't get over it. I. Just. Can't."

 _Here we go._

"Get over what? Ed grumbled.

"Sometimes I can't figure out who you love more—Olivia or Noah. You see," Sarah rubbed her chin as if she had a goatee and twisted her lips, "On one hand, when the subject is Livvie, you get all googly eyed and, like, spaced out. With Noah, you look like he's just won five Olympic medals, hit a grand slam to win the World Series, and kicked the winning field goal in the Super Bowl all in the same day."

He gave up and smiled at her. "You shoulda been a journalist."

Sarah closed her eyes and sat back reflectively, "Yeah, maybe." She slapped her knees and quickly returned to her bubbly self, "In other news, are you excited for the party?"

"Excited?"

"Yes, you know, it's an emotion that is happy _plus._ You're happy _plus_ you really want something to happen because it will be fun or cause more happiness?"

Ed set his jaw as she delivered her definition. The low-key first leg of the journey had given way to full-on Sarah-led conversation-slash-interrogation, and he was pessimistic about his hopes that she would wear herself out.

"I know you're excited. You don't have to say it. Brooke and Livvie are going to talk about the menu today I think and then we'll send out invitations. Your table will be here next weekend, so it'll be here in plenty of time. I hope Livvie's work people can come because they were so nice at the wedding, and I can't wait to see Carisi again because I need to figure out exactly _what_ his dealio is. And that Chief guy I met at the bar was nice. What's his name? Davis? Day?..."

"Dodds," Ed muttered, not thrilled she'd had drinks with the Chief.

"Yes, Dodds. And also we'll need to get a new outfit for Noey. Or maybe he can wear the seersucker pants he wore to Lion King. Omigod, omigod, omigod he was so freaking adorable. I know you saw the pictures, but in person? Ugh. Such a cutie."

Using the steering wheel controls, Ed raised the stereo volume ever so slightly, hoping Sarah would get the hint and retreat back into her thoughts for a little while. At first he thought there was no way she could keep this up for two hours, but that assumption was faulty. She had vast reserves of idle commentary.

….

"Brookey, Brookey, Lookie, Brookey!" Noah sang Brooke's name and tried to substitute as many sounds as possible for the _B_ as he spun around the living room flying a foam airplane. He peppered in sound effects, punctuating his movements with low rumbles and an occasional _whoooosh_.

Brooke and Olivia sat at the island. In between them were two lists—guest names and a menu. Olivia was secretly glad that Brooke, rather than Sarah, was helping with this task. With Sarah, it was difficult to get a word in, and the party would have probably taken on proportions greater and more formal than what Olivia and Ed wanted.

"So, we have forty-ish people on this list, the invitations will say no gifts, and we're having this catered, so once the invitations are addressed, we don't have to do anything!" Brooke clapped her hands with finality, happy to be working smarter and not harder.

"I'll have to send your Dad for alcohol at some point," Olivia said, "Do you think I should hire someone to bartend? Do you know anyone? We'll pay them."

"I'm sure one of my teacher friends would appreciate the extra cash," Brooke replied, "I'll ask a few people."

Olivia scanned the guest list, "I can't believe we know this many people who we actually want in our house."

Brooke giggled, "I know, _right_? Sarah and I were thinking of having a little party when she moved back, but we know like three people we'd _want_ to invite."

Olivia recalled Ed's concerns about his daughters' relationship issues, and she sensed Brooke needed some girl talk. "It seems like it would be difficult to have a huge group of friends with your job," Olivia observed, trying to broach the topic subtly.

Brooke groaned, "It is. Teaching is so all-consuming. And isolating. We don't meet many adults, like, there's no networking or business lunches or dinners with people; it's just us and the kids and their parents."

"Sounds familiar. I meet victims and criminals," Olivia said, "And with the people we work with, there's just not a lot of time to connect outside of work. So, I'm looking forward to this party. Contrary to how your father acts, I actually _do_ like my squad."

"Dad doesn't?"

"He does," Olivia murmured, "But I also think he'd rather me not like _anyone_ but him if you know what I mean."

Brooke burst into laughter, "He's so _possessive_ of you. And Noah. Sarah and I talk about it all the time. It's hilarious."

"I don't know if I would call it hilarious," Olivia said, "But I get it."

Brooke squinted at Olivia, "You do? You don't get annoyed?"

"No, but, then again, he's not as bad as he used to be," Olivia smiled, thinking of how, in earlier days, Ed would scowl at anyone who gave her more than a passing glance when they were out, "He used to do it out of insecurity. Now that we're married, well, I think I've finally proven we're _his_."

Brooke furrowed her brow. "You don't think that's, like, objectifying?" She was surprised to hear Olivia so proudly imply she was _owned_ by someone else.

"I never thought of it that way." They heard the foam airplane hit something. "Noah, come away from the furniture, sweet boy. Fly your plane closer to us." Olivia finished answering the question, "We were both so tentative at first…when we finally talked about where we were headed and what we expected, we realized we had a lot in common, but one of those things was a common, um, _fear_ , that we would lose each other."

"That makes sense. And you both must have been relieved."

"We were."

Brooke flipped the pen over and over in her hand and stared down at the countertop. When the light hit at the right angle, red flecks shone in the dark gray granite. "When you were in your twenties, did you date a lot?"

"A lot of first dates."

"Yeah," Brooke sighed, "Me too."

She left the door to her personal life ajar, so Olivia opened hers as well, "For me, I was focused on work and getting promoted. I never had much time. It's like you said about your job—I knew mostly cops and lawyers. And I dated cops and lawyers for the most part."

"You dated lawyers?"

"Two of them."

"Wow."

"But, the thing is, Brooke," Olivia made sure to look her in the eyes, "If I would have met someone who…made me feel like your Dad makes me feel, I would have made the time. I know it can be frustrating, but, try not to let these first dates get to you, if…that's a concern of yours."

Brooke ran her fingers through her bobbed blonde hair and tucked it behind her ears. Olivia studied her intently. There was no doubt she was Ed's daughter—she and Sarah both had his blue eyes and high cheekbones, but Brooke's features were less rigid, her face was rounder, and her deeply-set eyes made her seem like she was perpetually deep in thought.

"I don't want to bother you with it," Brooke said, biting her bottom lip.

"You're never bothering me, Brooke."

"I really thought Sonny and I had something good going on." The words shot out of Brooke's mouth as if she'd been fighting to keep them unsaid for a long time. Olivia waited for her to elaborate, but Brooke only resumed flipping the pen.

"Why _thought_?"

"We always have fun when we hang out, but it seems like I'll never be a priority. He works really hard. He wants so badly to impress you," Brooke winced, "I don't know if I was supposed to say that."

Olivia grinned, "Oh,that is definitely _not_ a secret."

Brooke looked relieved, "And when he's not working, he's helping with Jesse or helping someone in his family. I don't think he has room in his life for me."

She sure had Carisi pegged. Olivia had a hard time refuting that conclusion. "How…serious…did things get with the two of you?"

Brooke didn't seem at all uncomfortable with the question. "Let me put it to you this way. _You've_ seen more of my skin than he has."

Olivia's face changed from concerned to amused, "Well, maybe that's a good thing. Refreshing. Gentlemanly."

"Yeah," Brooke replied sarcastically, suggesting she wished Carisi was a little less gallant, "He's _extremely_ gentlemanly. What is it with guys? Either they want to get in your pants right away or they're too careful about waiting for the right time."

As often happened with Brooke and Sarah, Olivia wasn't sure how much of her own relationship to use as a tool to counsel Brooke. Lieutenant Benson did not have a circle of confidantes. The whole time she and Ed were seeing one another, the only person she had to help gauge the relationship was Dr. Lindstrom. So, sometimes she was tempted to talk to Brooke and Sarah as if they were her friends rather than her stepdaughters. There was some gray area there, but Olivia never wanted their conversations to turn awkward. That risk was almost nonexistent with Sarah; Brooke, on the other hand, was less likely to demand and be comfortable with personal details from the Tucker marriage. In fact, she was usually the one to chasten her sister when Sarah got too pushy.

So, when Brooke asked Olivia if there was ever a time when she doubted Ed's affection for her, Olivia chose her words carefully.

"It took a long time for the two of us to figure out exactly what we _were_ ," Olivia began, "It's hard to describe, but, because of our history, your Dad had to do a lot of convincing at first. It took a while for me to accept that the real Ed was not the IAB Ed. But once we got over that hurdle…no, there was never a time when I doubted him. And, he admitted this later on, he was always ahead of me, emotion-wise, but he respected that I needed more time and he gave me space."

Brooke's eyes filled with fascination, and, for a minute, resembled and sounded like her sister, "That is so romantic," she purred. "So, so romantic. But, you know what? I'm not positive I want someone in my life right now. I kind of like doing what I want when I want."

"I understand that, too," Olivia replied, "One hundred percent understand. You're a strong, independent woman and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't force something that doesn't feel right. So, if you like hanging out with Carisi, I say hang out with him. But if that's hard to do without having other expectations…then maybe being his friend isn't so healthy for you if he's not reciprocating."

Brooke checked her watch. It was still before noon and too early for the rosé she brought, so she refilled her coffee instead. "That's good advice, Liv. Thanks."

Olivia patted the top of Brooke's hand. "You're welcome."

"You know," Brooke shyly diverted her eyes, "I never wanted to be a mom or a wife, and after seeing multiple therapists, I came to the conclusion that was because what I saw growing up—Mom and Dad basically living separate lives, Mom basically stealing us away to Long Island, getting remarried, having Aidan—all of that turned me off, ya know?"

Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded knowingly while simultaneously trying to hide her shock that Brooke had seen therapists. She'd never mentioned it.

"So I think I never tried, with the guys I've dated, I've gone into it with a bad attitude. But now I do."

"You try?"

"Well, I'm trying. Which is why I'm frustrated with Sonny. He's a great guy, so nice, and I could see myself with him…but my point is, Liv, that I'm trying because I've seen you and Dad and the way marriage and family is _supposed_ to be."

Olivia blinked back tears. Considering the big picture, it was only recently that _she_ realized the way things were supposed to be, so not only was she elated that Brooke noticed, but she was thrilled to set the example.

…

Sarah and Ed arrived at the Washington Square row house she had shared with Jeff since last summer. The incredibly narrow street necessitated Ed parking partially on the sidewalk and he muttered something about Sarah paying for the ticket if one appeared under the windshield wiper. As Sarah predicted, Jeff was at work, and after a tense two minutes waiting for Sarah to find her keys, she opened the front door and led her father inside.

"I'd give you the grand tour," Sarah said, "But who cares." They walked up a half flight of stairs to the main living area. The house was narrow, and the kitchen was tightly situated on one side of the wall, opposite a dinette set which Ed doubted would hold more than two place settings. The living area was large enough for a two-cushion couch, chair, and ottoman. The floors were dark hardwood and the walls were painted white; all fixtures and accent pieces were black. The walls were a visual tribute to Philadelphia—a large nighttime skyline panorama, a vintage Phillies program, and an impressionist painting of the Liberty Bell. Ed thought it looked sleek and clean, but he noted that the décor and general ambiance was far from Sarah's taste. He wondered if she'd ever bothered making herself at home here.

Sarah ran downstairs to what she said was a storage area and came back with two large plastic tubs. She opened and closed drawers and cabinets, tossing in selected cookware. Ed saw no method to her selection process; it appeared she was taking what she liked regardless if the pots, pans, or cutlery were parts of sets. She skipped the living room, and then asked Ed to follow her upstairs with the other plastic tub. In that container went bath towels that looked unused and sheets that were still in their original packages. She tossed two suitcases on the bedroom floor and filled it with what remained of her wardrobe including a ridiculously large collection of shoes. She packed silently, leaving Ed to wander around.

The same hardwood floors and white walls were carried throughout the upper level, except for the bathroom tile which looked like some type of brushed concrete. There was one other bedroom which Jeff used as an office and a place for more garish Phillies gear. Perhaps it was a guy thing, but Ed expected the house to be in bachelorhood disarray. On the contrary, the home was so neat Ed wondered if it was actually on the market.

"Sare, Jeff owns this house, right? You didn't buy it with him?"

"Right," she called from inside the closet. "Why?"

"Just makin' sure."

Ed sent an update to Olivia who took a little while to respond. When she did, it was with an apology. They went out to lunch and her phone had remained buried in her purse on silent. Sarah was still rifling through the closet and cramming items in the suitcases, so he went downstairs and took a seat on the couch. The television controls looked complicated, so he scanned articles and emails on his phone before growing bored with that and flipped through his photos instead.

He was about to ask Sarah for a status report when the door opened and Jeff bounded up the stairs and jump-stopped when he got to the top and saw Ed.

"Oh, hey, Ed, uh, I guess that's your car out there, huh?"

Ed rose, "Yeah. Sarah's here, getting some things. You need me to move it?"

"Nah, it's ok there for now."

The two men awkwardly looked around and past each other until Sarah came down.

"Jeff. Oh. I thought you were at the game."

"Game's not until later this afternoon," he replied.

Ed searched for some emotion between the two of them, but there was neither affection nor animosity. Jeff regarded her with the rueful resignation of a man who knew his marriage was lost, and Ed had never seen Sarah's face so unanimated in his life.

"I, uh," Sarah stammered, "I'm getting some things to take back to New York."

"Are you coming back?" The question was more businesslike than impassioned.

Sarah glanced at Ed who, feeling confident that Sarah would be safe if he left them alone to talk, offered to leave for a while. "I'm gonna go for a walk," he said, "Sare, text me when you're ready to go."

"If you turn left, the first street you come to has places to eat and drink," Jeff said helpfully, "If you turn right on that street it'll take you to the touristy stuff."

Ed mumbled his thanks and let himself out. Before he ventured in search of a bar, he informed his wife that he and Sarah would be back in New York later than originally planned.

…..

Olivia told Brooke about the unanticipated Sarah-Jeff meeting, and Brooke met the news with satisfaction. "Good," she said, "Hopefully they'll say everything that needs to be said, and she can stop with all this crap. She's driving me nuts with this giving him a month thing, and then whining about how she doesn't want to have to say she's been divorced."

Noah jabbed his fingers at Olivia's phone screen and murmured, "Stop crap, stop da crap."

Brooke covered her mouth, genuinely horrified, "I'm so sorry, Liv."

Olivia rubbed Noah's head, "It'll wear off. He hasn't repeated anything we said on moving day…yet."

"I'm turning into Sarah."

" _Stop_. It's fine." Olivia grabbed the check and reached for her purse, but Brooke stopped her.

"On me. You guys always pay."

"Thanks."

"My pleasure." Brooke plopped her card down and took a sip of her half-full beer. "Do you want me to take Noah for the rest of the day? Do you have anything you want to get done?"

"Actually, I don't. We're going to maybe stop at the park, take a nap, and get ready for the week. Your welcome to join us of course, but I'm sure you want some time for yourself."

Brooke rubbed her temples, "I have papers to grade and I've been putting it off, so that's what I'll be doing. But, let me know if you get a call or something. Noah can always help."

"I good helper, Brookey."

"You _are_ , No! Whatcha gonna learn in school tomorrow?"

"You come wiff me?"

"Uh-uh, I have to go teach the big kids."

Noah handed his mother the phone and folded his hands in front of him as if he were broaching a serious conversation, "We do 'panish and maff. Then art."

"Who teaches you art?"

"Miss Amy."

"Is she nice?"

"Uh-huh."

"What words do you say in Spanish?"

"HOLA!"

"What else?"

"ADIOS!"

"Anything else?"

"We do da colors. Rojo is red.

Olivia smiled proudly, "Tell her your favorite color."

"Azzzzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuul!"

Brooke grinned, "Wow, your pronunciation is on point, brother. Or should I say _hermano_?

"Si," Noah answered, and, to their surprise added after a bit of thinking, "hermana!"

"Holy crr—cow!" Brooke exclaimed.

"Wow, sweet Noah," Olivia cooed, "You are doing so well with your Spanish!"

"I talk 'panish with Senorita 'Melia."

Olivia explained Senorita Amelia was studying to become a Kindergarten teacher, and that reminded Brooke of her own job search.

"I should hear back from the schools where I interviewed starting this week," she said, "Fingers crossed."

"Do you have a preference?"

"Nope. I love both schools. And the one, I think, is where Noah would go. Wouldn't it be awesome if I was your teacher, No?"

"You nice teacher Brookey."

Olivia finished her wine and collected her and Noah's things before sliding out of the booth. "I bet, this time next week, you'll be trying to decide which school to turn down," Olivia predicted.

"Thanks, Liv. I hope so."

They approached the corner where they had to turn in opposite directions. Brooke had been holding Noah's hand and she stooped down to hug him. "Love you, little man. I'll see you later this week, ok?"

"K, Brookey! You pick me up from day care?"

Brooke smoothed his hair, "Maybe, pal. I'll text Mommy."

"I like eating pizza wiff you."

Heart melted, Brooke changed the maybe to a yes. "How about Thursday or Friday?" She looked up at Olivia, "Does that work?"

"It does" Olivia answered, "but you don't have to."

"I can't resist," Brooke said, "You're too charming, Noah."

"You tarming!"

"No, you're charming!"

"You tarming!"

Brooke held her hands up in surrender and giggled, "You've been spending too much time with Sarah!"

…..

Ed received Sarah's text nearly two hours after he left them alone to hash out whatever it was they needed to hash out. He waited for her outside. Jeff helped her bring the boxes to the foyer, but Ed's former son-in-law was nowhere to be found as Ed and Sarah transferred the cargo to the SUV. After the final box was loaded, Sarah removed her house key from the ring and left it on the shelf inside the door. She didn't stop to collect herself or take a moment to allow the gravity of the situation to sink in; she simply said "all set" and jumped into the passenger seat.

Since leaving the city proper, Sarah had been softly singing along to the music, tapping the rhythm on her knees and watching the scenery pass. She was waiting for her Dad to ask her about the protracted conversation, but he was silent and almost _too_ passive. Sarah assumed he was annoyed the whole ordeal took so long; she honestly hadn't figured Jeff would come home, but she was glad he showed up. Closure already felt good.

Ever the social creature, even in imperfect times, Sarah finally had to break the silence.

"Dad, can I ask you a question?"

Ed nodded and waited for her inquiry.

"Are you disappointed in me?"

Ed took a quick glance in her direction. Her head was against the window; her voice sounded steady, but he wondered if she was tearing up behind her aviator sunglasses.

"No, Sare. I'm not disappointed in you."

"I don't believe you."

He took a deep breath and wished Olivia was there with them. She knew how to handle things like this. "Why are you asking me if you're not going to believe what I say? When have I lied to you?"

Sarah conceded the point. "Sorry. Go ahead. You're not disappointed in me…but what?"

"But…you are a smart, successful young woman, Sare. You're kind and fun to be around. I am _not_ disappointed in you. I am," Ed paused, unsure of how she was going to take what he was about to say, especially since they were trapped in a car, "I _am_ worried about you."

He felt her eyes shoot inquisitive lasers in his direction and pretended to be extra cognizant of the road in front of him.

"Worried about what exactly?"

Ed took a moment to collect and organize his thoughts. "I'm going to tell you, but I don't want you to freak out."

"Ok."

"I love you, Sare, and I want you to be happy."

"I know, Daddy."

"And one of the things I like best about you is your energy—you're always moving, you get things done, you like to take care of people."

" _Yeah_."

"But I don't think you take care of yourself."

"I don't?" Sarah was pretty sure moving back to New York and taking the new job qualified as taking care of herself, but she listened carefully as Ed explained himself.

"You're too concerned about what other people think of your decisions. So concerned, that I think you make decisions based on what you think you're _supposed_ to do rather than what you _want_ to do."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"There's a fine line separating the two."

"Explain."

Ed wanted to audibly groan, but he held back after he quickly realized Sarah didn't completely understand. He didn't want to use her marriage as an example, but there really was no other choice. "You didn't really want to get married, did you?"

"At first I did."

"At _first_. But at some point you changed your mind."

"Obviously."

"And you got married anyway."

Sarah saw where he was going and came to the conclusion on her own. "I did..." She thought about the multiple times she doubted her decision and berated herself for not following her instincts to end it before she and Jeff exchanged vows. "It didn't feel right," she murmured, "But it happened anyway because of what you said. All of it…felt like an obligation."

Ed's face contorted, "You can't live your life like that."

"That's what the shrink says."

" _Shrink_?"

Sarah played with the leather tassels on her purse. "I've had a few sessions. It really helped. I shoulda probably went a long time ago. Livvie set it up for me."

"She did?"

"I asked her not to tell you."

Ed couldn't pinpoint exactly why he felt let down. He and his wife shouldn't be keeping things from one another, but, most bothersome, was that Sarah hadn't wanted him to know.

"I didn't want you to think less of me," she added as explanation.

"I don't think that."

"But you think therapy is a bunch of crap probably."

Now Ed was annoyed. "How can you say that?" He retorted sharply, "As you obviously know, my _wife_ sees a therapist. If it's helping you, why in the hell would I think it's a bunch of _crap_? You don't think Olivia keeps the fact that she sees a shrink from me, do you?"

"No."

Ed puffed out his chest, exasperated, wondering what else the women in his life had shielded from him.

"But she has real problems."

"What are you talking about?"

Sarah shifted in her seat so her back was against the door, "Brooke and I found out about what happened to her. When we sorta stalked her that time we surprised you? Remember?" Ed nodded, "Well, we were just Googling to figure out where to find her, but all this stuff about that guy came up. We fell down a rabbit hole and read everything. It was _horrible_."

He cringed. Now what was he supposed to do? "You haven't asked her about it, have you?"

"No way!" The question insulted Sarah, "We have more tact than that!"

"Well, don't, alright?"

"We weren't planning on it. I wish I woulda never read about it, because I'm sure it was worse than what they reported."

Ed rubbed his eyes. "It was."

There was something ominous and haunting in those two words that frightened Sarah, so she did what she did best—changed the subject. Before he knew it, Ed Tucker was listening to Sarah drone on about the annoying people she worked with, her hopes for purchasing her own Manhattan condo soon, and, of course, Ed and Olivia's housewarming party.

….

"Mommy, I do the bubbly baff again?" Noah asked, sounding slightly distracted because he was also trying to walk a straight line within the hardwood slats as if he were taking a DUI road test.

"Sure, sweet boy. Let's do that now. It's almost bedtime."

"Don't wanna."

"You have to sleep so your brain's all ready to learn tomorrow. Then, when you go for pizza with Brookey you can speak more Spanish with her."

Noah's hand flew to his head. "Brain in here."

"Yup," she went over and picked Noah up. Speaking in a high-pitched silly voice, she said, "And your brain says, 'please Mister Noah go to sleep so I can help you be a smart boy for your teachers tomorrow'."

"Have to take baff first, brain!"

"Sounds good to me, Mister Noah!"

"Gonna be a bubbly baff, brain!"

Olivia carried him to the master bathroom and, when she turned on the jets, Noah squealed with delight and went about squirting Mr. Bubble in the running water.

While she supervised Noah as he played with his toys, an idea occurred to Olivia. After such a long, exhausting day, Ed probably would appreciate his first Jacuzzi tub experience. She scrambled to wash Noah's hair and hustled him out of the bath and into a towel. She felt a tinge of guilt as she speedily read the stories and smothered her son with kisses, thanking him for tolerating this expedited routine without objection.

"Night, night, sweet Noah. I love you."

"Lub you, Mommy!"

Noah curled up with Bernie and mumbled softly, soothing himself to sleep.

Olivia frantically pulled items from drawers and closets.

She planned to be in the water when Ed came home.

….

Olivia timed things perfectly. She arranged and lit the candles, put on smooth jazz, poured two glasses of wine, and measured the bubble bath—the adult peppermint-menthol version which was supposed to tingle the skin. Ed texted her earlier, reporting he was helping Sarah unload and would be home in a half hour. With minutes to spare, she filled the tub, turned on the jets, and lowered herself into the water.

Ed entered silently. When he returned home during normal hours, he typically called her name as soon as he opened the door. Slightly bitter about missing Noah's bedtime routine, he tiptoed into his son's room and kissed his head lightly. Noah didn't move, and Ed replaced the covers he'd kicked off before going to his own bedroom.

When he saw the empty bed, empty chair, and cracked bathroom door, he assumed Olivia was finishing her nighty routine and would be out soon. "Liv, I'm home," he called softly and collapsed on top of the comforter. After several minutes and no sign of her, he rapped on the door. "Liv?"

"Come in," He heard her say, her voice partially drowned out by the rumbling water.

He pushed the door open and smiled at the sight of her—head propped against a rolled towel, one leg resting on the side of the tub, suds streaking along her calf, and every other limb submerged in the roiling water. He took in the sultry scene—his naked wife illuminated only by candlelight, the crisp, earthy aroma emanating from the tub, the combined sounds of the jets and the music, and the two wine glasses, equally full, waiting to be used for a toast.

Olivia, glowing with satisfaction, motioned for him to join her. Ed quickly disrobed and slid in behind her. Olivia leaned back against his chest and put her hands on his thighs and moaned softly as he gently massaged her breasts.

"Welcome home," she purred. "I missed you."

He closed his eyes. Holding her body and absorbing the force of the water immediately put him at ease. "Mmmmm," he hummed.

"Everything go ok?"

"Mmmmhmmmm."

"She clear everything up with Jeff?"

Ed repeated his earlier response. He thought he would come home and retell the day's happenings, including Sarah letting it slip that she was going to therapy, but he was weary of talking. Olivia, ever the keen observer, stopped asking questions. She flipped over momentarily to kiss him and then sunk back into his arms.

It wasn't long before Ed started kissing her—first on the head, then the cheek, then her neck. He got more aggressive with his hands. The two of them jostled and slipped as they fell into a deep kiss.

Needing more room to operate, they stepped from the tub and immediately fell back into each other. Not bothering to dry off and too impatient to travel the few feet to the bed, Ed backed her against the double vanity, unable to hold off any longer. He cupped her backside with both hands and thrust into her, biting at her neck when she threw her head back in response. The minty bubble bath still lingered on her skin and the scent propelled him into a euphoric, superhuman state. He was supporting almost all her weight but it was no burden. He felt so strong and masculine and held her tighter. His ego inflated even more when he heard her implore, " _harder_ , _Ed_ , _oh_ , _fuuuuuck_ ," before she started to quiver. Her upper body jerked back into his and she pawed at his close-cropped hair. Her heels banged against the cabinets-the thuds echoed throughout the bathroom.

" _Olivia_."

Sated, he sat her between the sinks and lined her collarbone with kisses, concentrating on the spot where the hickey had started to fade. She ran her fingertips lightly over his back, tweaking his already-sensitive nerves.

Suddenly, he stopped. Olivia looked down and stroked his head; his eyes were closed and his pursed lips were pressed against the side of her breast. He was completely at peace. She let him remain there for several minutes. When he felt her caresses wane, he let out a pathetic whine until she resumed the motion.

Finally, he spoke using words.

"Liv?"

"Yes?"

She felt his lips move against her skin and shivered a little.

"I missed you, too."

…

 _ **#Tuckson**_


	16. Chapter 16

_Early May, 2017_

 **Housewarming Party!**

Ed cautiously opened his eyes.

Mistake.

In their clumsy haste to get to bed last night, neither he nor Olivia thought to close the blinds, and the morning sunlight pierced whatever was left of his slumber and jolted him awake. Without moving his body, he felt around for his phone and in the process made a mental note to procure a clock for their bedroom. He hated using the phone to check the time.

At some point, Olivia wedged her head between two pillows, so she was impervious to the sunshine. The brunette locks escaping the protective nook were kinky and mussed, indicative of falling asleep with damp hair. The crisp white sheets were streaked with brown and black makeup smears. The pleasant mess of their bed reminded Ed of last night's bath, bathroom sex, and subsequent in-bed sex. He sunk back into his pillow and closed his eyes, basking in contentment.

He allowed himself only a few minutes, cognizant of the time and of Noah who, at any moment, could potentially enter his parents' room. Unlike their old apartment, this one had door handles he could open, so Noah-interruptus was a very real possibility. And Ed was quite sure they hadn't engaged the lock.

He plodded to the bathroom and pulled the plug to drain the bathwater. Olivia must have turned off the jets at some point last night. He surely did not.

Shirt. Where could he find a clean shirt? Every part of their new home was now in working order except for their closet and dressers. Olivia's work clothes and his suits were hung neatly in dry cleaning plastic, but their casual clothes were strewn around haphazardly. Ed tiptoed around the room and plucked one of his several Yankees tees from a pile of Olivia's clothes. She must have worn it at some point and, sure enough, he caught a whiff of her as he slid it over his head.

On his way down the hall to Noah's room, he heard his son talking to Bernie and paused to listen.

"Bernie, you fly!" Noah made whooshing sounds. "Den ya crash! Uh-oh, Bernie! You ok. I save you! See? Boo-boos all better!" More airplane sounds, a skidding noise, and then Noah's footsteps. Ed suspected he'd launched Bernie from his bed and then scampered to "rescue" him. "I gotcha, Bernie!" He cried out. "Noah help you!"

Ed walked in. Sure enough, Noah was huddled over his bear.

"Mornin' bud!"

"Daddy!"

Noah abandoned Bernie and threw himself into Ed's arms. There were few better feelings in the world than that of those little arms squeezing his neck and his head nestling cozily between his neck and shoulder. Ed alternatively patted and rubbed Noah's back and carried him to the kitchen where he made coffee and poured Noah's apple juice. They took the drinks to the couch and sat so they faced the windows.

"You back from Sarah," Noah remarked matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, it took a long time, huh?"

"Uh-huh."

"Whadja do while I was gone?"

"Eated wiff Brookey. Goed on the swings."

"Didja help plan the party?"

"No." His disinterest made Ed laugh which induced Noah giggles. "You funny, Daddy!"

" _I'm_ funny?" More giggles. "What else didja do?"

Noah waved his arms around as he spoke. Ed didn't fully trust the no-spill sippy cup guarantee, so he took it from Noah. "I flied da plane and taked bubbly baff."

"We'll have to take the plane to the park and fly it for real."

Noah wiggled around to look at his Daddy, "We fly outside?"

"Yup. Maybe today. But we have to go to work and school first. Should we go wake up Mommy? It's Monday."

Noah played with the collar of Ed's shirt. "You be police today?"

"Yup. And you go to school."

"I telled Brooke 'panish."

"Oh yeah? You gonna learn more Spanish today?"

"Uh-huh. Wiff Miss 'Melia."

Ed kissed his forehead. "Sounds good to me, pal. Hey, let's make Mommy some coffee and bring it to her." He started the Kuerig and instructed Noah to watch it carefully while he went to warn his nude wife that her son was about to wake her up. He tossed Olivia one of her oversized night shirts and went back for the coffee and for Noah.

"Mommy, you have dirty face," Noah tried to clean Olivia's smeared mascara with his hands.

"Do I?"

"Need a wipe," he murmured, pressing harder, stretching her skin, and sending him into a fit of giggles as he contorted her features.

Olivia laughed along with him. "How about I get in the shower?"

"You take baff?"

Olivia shot a quick, flirty glance at Ed, "No…baths take too long for the morning," she cooed, her response clearly meant for her husband.

"Sometimes showers do, too," he replied.

Oblivious to his parents' flirting, Noah pointed to the nightstand. "We bringed you dis drink."

Olivia sat up and sipped. "You're so sweet. I love you so much, Noah."

"Lub YOU so much!" He bounced up and down.

"Oops," Olivia dabbed at the coffee spatter on the sheets, "Careful, sweetie."

Ed lifted Noah from the bed. "It's ok, bud," Ed pointed to the makeup stains, "Mommy already got the sheets dirty." Olivia glared at him, and he smirked back at her, "Let's go get ready for school so Mommy can get cleaned up."

Olivia looked up at her beaming son and husband and reached for them. "Give me kisses first."

Noah took one cheek and Ed planted a kiss on the other then he whispered something in Noah's ear.

"You pretty, Mommy," Noah said sweetly.

This prompted an incredulous laugh, "Your Daddy certainly is teaching you how to work the charm, isn't he? Thank you baby."

She stood up, stretched, and heard Noah tell Ed what he wanted to wear to school before she turned on the shower and let the pulsating water finish the wake-up job the men of the house started.

…..

Twelve blocks away, Brooke filled her travel mug with what was left of the coffee and straightened the kitchen. Noticing the early hour, she calculated the number of school days remaining. Thirty-five. Today she would officially accept a job at her new school, and her commute would shrink from several subway miles to a life-changing five blocks.

Sarah shuffled out, disheveled and clad only in a baby doll tee and underwear, and heaved herself onto a barstool. "Is there coffee?"

Brooke glanced reluctantly at her mug. "Here. Take this. I'll stop for more on my way."

"Thanks," Sarah sighed, grateful her sister saved her from the excruciatingly difficult task of making another pot.

"You didn't bring much back." Last night when Ed and Sarah returned with the Philadelphia cargo, Brooke was out with friends. Lonely, Sarah headed out to have a late dinner with a work acquaintance who lived in the area, so the sisters missed each other coming and going.

"Didn't have much," Sarah muttered. "I sold all my furniture when I moved in with Jeff, and, the wedding gifts? He can have the plates."

Brooke admired Sarah's ability to reduce the totality of her marriage to a set of flatware. "I don't have a ton of time right now, but…you're officially splitting up?"

"Yes. And, oddly enough, it's much less complicated to get a divorce than to get married. It's almost all done online."

"Jeff ok?"

"He said he was sorry it didn't work out and he hopes I," she tried to mimic his voice, "find what it is I'm looking for." Sarah screwed up her face, "As if I'm the one fucking around. Ugh. I _so_ can't wait for mom and grandma to find out. This should be pleasant."

Brooke bit her tongue. There was so much she wanted to say to her defeated yet out-of-touch sister, but it would have to wait. "Did you at least have a pleasant drive?"

Sarah guffawed. Coffee dribbled down her chin and she wiped it with the back of her wrist. "It's wasn't bad at all. I thought Dad was going to bitch at me the entire time, but he was fine. Oh, he now knows I'm seeing Dr. Mosby. Does he know you about you?"

"Yes." Brooke started seeing a therapist in college and Ed paid for it.

"Well we're all enlightened then," Sarah said, "Because he also knows we know about Livvie and that psycho."

"Why did you tell him _that_?" Brooke snapped.

Sarah winced, not in reaction to Brooke's venom but because of the position she put Olivia in by asking her to keep something from her father. "I had to explain why I didn't tell him I was going to a shrink, and I did tell Livvie, and I kinda asked her to not tell him, and he was pissed that I thought he would think it was weird I was seeing someone especially since Olivia sees someone, so then I said _she has real problems_ and he was like, what the fuck, and so I had to tell him."

The convoluted recollection made Brooke's head spin. "We're gonna have to revisit this later. I have to go. Are you going to work today?"

" _Yes_ ," Sarah whined like a teenager talking to her nagging mother, "People with normal jobs don't have to leave at the crack of dawn."

Brooke let out an exasperated sigh. "Have a good day…doing whatever it is you do."

Sarah raised the mug, "And you as well."

…..

Ed stopped at the old office to hand-deliver a party invitation to Cole who had recently been promoted to Lieutenant and stepped into Tucker's old position at IAB. Draper regarded the envelope, but didn't immediately open it.

"Saving a stamp?"

"I was instructed to address this," Ed replied indifferently, "And stopping by was less time consuming."

Cole chuckled, "Right. What is it?"

"Party invitation. Hope you and Janine can make it."

"Those renovations didn't take long," Cole said, impressed, "When is it?"

"Weekend before Mother's Day. I think. Lookit the damn card, Draper."

"I'll let Janine handle that," Cole slid the still-sealed envelope in the side pocket of his briefcase. "Drinks Friday?"

Ed had no idea what the week's childcare plans were, but he knew what he was about to say would be met with a smirk. "Lemme let you know after I talk to Liv tonight."

Sure enough, Draper was amused. "I don't know if I'm bringing my wife to the party. I'm tellin' ya, man, you're setting the bar too high for the rest of us."

"My apologies," Tucker replied sarcastically.

"Hey, not to change the subject from your domestic bliss, but, I only recently found out they stuck Dume over there with her. How's that going?"

One PP's decision on that matter clearly annoyed Ed, "She hasn't said much about it, so I guess it's ok for now. Bullshit though."

"No kidding. They shoulda given him a sweetheart early retirement or something."

"I'm stayin' out of it."

Cole agreed, "She doesn't need you fighting her battles for her."

"She certainly does not."

Ed left IAB and headed to his office. On the way to his car, he searched for keys and found one of Noah's cars in his jacket pocket. He put the red corvette in the cup holder. They'd all left together that morning which didn't happen often. They made a sharp trio—Noah in khaki cargos and a navy knit pullover, Ed in his black suit, white shirt, and gray tie, Olivia chose a powder blue blouse and gray blazer—he enjoyed, probably a bit too much, walking out onto the New York streets with his stunning wife and adorable child. Noah walked a little ahead of them until Ed picked him up when they turned onto busy Ninth Avenue. Olivia walked regally beside them, Ed had Noah in one arm and the little boy curled his fingers at the nape of his dad's neck and used his perch to survey the busy streetscape. Of course, nobody paid any attention to them, but Ed felt like he was on display as the epitome of masculinity. Out of the corner of his eye he glanced at Olivia striding confidently, wearing a determined expression partially obscured by amber aviators. This was not the time for hand-holding, but he snuck in a quick squeeze of her fingers to which she responded by shooting him a sly grin, acknowledging their exceptionalism.

They each kissed Noah before he ran off to play with his day care friends, and Ed went a way out of his way to extend his time with his wife, walking with her to the precinct even though his unmarked car was parked several blocks in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Work."

"Why aren't you… _going_ there?"

He lifted his shoulder, "I dunno."

Olivia smiled at his childlike response, "Well, I'm going up."

"I guess I'll head downtown then." He gazed at her. Perfection. The breeze rustled her hair and the sunglasses added an air of intrigue, maybe a bit of aloofness, like there was something incredibly interesting to be discovered behind those shades.

She cocked her head, "Are you ok? Do I need to send you in a squad car?"

"I could stare at you all day."

Her husband was too charming to dismiss. Despite there being officers milling about, Olivia hugged and kissed him before playfully shoving him away. Ed hustled to his car, cognizant of but not particularly worried about his late arrival. Before leaving the vehicle, he put Noah's corvette back in his pocket.

…..

 _At least I'm making it home before bedtime._

Ed ended up spending the entire day on the phone with a stockbroker who barricaded himself in his lower-Manhattan office with his secretary and the firm's CEO who he accused of running some type of Madoff-esque Ponzi scheme. The negotiation took almost six hours and ended with sniper fire. After making sure the hostages were safely in the care of doctors and with their families, Ed gave a brief statement, decided the paperwork could wait until morning, and hurried home.

"Hey!"

Noah scampered to Ed holding the foam airplane. "Daddy we go fly now?"

Ed cringed. He hated delivering disappointing news to his son. "Aw, No, I'm sorry bud. I had to be police an' it's dark now. We can't go tonight."

Noah's face contorted into a pathetic pout.

"How 'bout, I'll go to police a little late tomorrow and we'll fly before day care?"

Noah contemplated this proposition, slightly befuddled. Morning play outings were not common occurrences. "We fly plane earrrrleee?"

Ed knelt down to Noah's level, "Yeah. How's that sound?"

"Good." Noah tried to unknot Ed's tie, "I wear tie, too."

Noah's obsession with the tie, they thought, was in the past. Nevertheless, Ed consented, "Sure. You can wear your tie tomorrow. Which one?"

"We wear stripe one tomorrow, Daddy."

"You got it."

Olivia came into the foyer, serving spoon in hand. "We waited for you to eat."

"Thanks."

Noah jumped up and down, "We eat at new table, Daddy!"

"Great! Hey, No, go put your plane away and then you tell me where I should sit."

Noah ran off to stow the toy and Olivia approached Ed cautiously, gauging the extent of the day's strain. "Everything go ok?"

"They hadta take him out."

Olivia rubbed the back of his head and kissed him. "Hostages are safe, though?"

"Yeah."

"That's what matters."

Ed nodded reluctantly. He didn't like anyone losing a life on his watch.

"C'mon. Dinner." She took his hand.

"No bath?" Ed asked with mock disappointment.

Olivia took a swat at him with the spatula.

"Maybe later."

….

After cleaning the kitchen and tucking Noah in bed, Ed and Olivia dimmed the lights and sat together on the couch with glasses of bourbon. Ed stretched out on the section's chaise end and Olivia reclined against his chest. He twisted sections of her hair while he relayed the entire account of his trip to Philadelphia.

"She told me she's going to therapy," Ed said hesitantly, hoping Olivia could tell he wasn't angry with her for keeping that information secret.

"I'm sorry, Ed. I suggested it to her, and I didn't think she'd go unless I promised to keep it to myself."

"Don't worry about it," He sounded genuinely unaffected, "I don't get why she didn't want me to find out, though."

"She thought it was a sign of weakness," Olivia explained, "A lot of people do."

"Well I don't."

"She knows that. And I know that."

Ed had already decided he was going to tell Olivia about the other piece of information Sarah revealed during the road trip, but he wasn't sure how she'd react. "Somethin' else came up," he said, "Remember when they showed up at the precinct that day last spring?"

Olivia broke into a pleasant grin, "Of course."

"They had to, uh, do some research to find you."

She was about to ask why that mattered when it dawned on her. " _Oh_ ," she murmured.

Ed sat up straighter so he could get a better grip on her. "I told her not to bring it up. Ever."

"Maybe someday we'll talk about it."

"Why?" Ed saw no point in unearthing that horror.

"If it comes up," Olivia added. "I guess…I was operating under the assumption they knew…with all the media coverage and all."

"They know enough," Ed said with finality. "I don't want you reliving it."

The constant fight not to relive the Lewis ordeal had finally abated, and a lot of that had to do with Ed. The closer they became and the more their lives overlapped, her flashbacks and nightmares decreased in frequency. The potential for recurrence would never fully vanish, but Olivia finally felt secure enough to allow those memories to permanently reside in the past.

She placed her glass on the table and slung her arm around his waist, snuggling him cozily. They remained there for a while, silent, enjoying the simplicity and tranquility of the evening. Being in each other's arms eased the most troubling thoughts. It was here, moments like this, when Olivia felt safest and, for Ed, the height of his worth as a man was when he was in protector mode. Even the strong, fierce former Olivia Benson _needed_ him, if that wasn't an ego boost, he didn't know what was.

…..

"Eddie, for Pete's sake, where the hell'd you get all this _money_?" Caroline stood in the middle of the living area turning slowly around, taking in her son's new digs. It was party day, and Brooke had driven to Riverdale to pick up her grandmother a little early so they could have some family time before the rest of the crowd arrived. Sarah, in an attempt to avoid talking about her impending divorce, refused to go along for the ride and was still at home.

"We got a good deal, ma," he replied.

"Sure you're not on the take?"

Having his integrity questioned was not fair game, and Ed glowered at his mother.

"Well, this is fantastic. Now you have room to separate when you get on each other's nerves."

Brooke put a gin and tonic in Caroline's hands and hoped she wouldn't notice she'd gone light on the liquor. Ed and Brooke opted for beer. The caterers would arrive any minute and the friend Brooke enlisted to bartend was setting up shop in the office.

"Dad and Olivia don't get on each other's nerves," Brooke said.

Caroline scoffed, "Oh, please. All married couples get on each other's nerves. Where's Olivia anyway? And little Noah? Where's my Noah?"

"He's being de-playgrounded," Ed replied, "They'll be out soon."

"Sarah?"

"She'll be here in a bit," Brooke said, "Why aren't Uncle John and Aunt Margie coming?"

"Margie might stop by later and Johnny's on his way back with Mark." Mark, John's son, was coming back to New York for the summer from college. "You know, Margie's always such a party pooper."

"Caroline!" The three of them turned to see Olivia and Noah emerge from the hall. Olivia wore a flowy, salmon-colored, v-neck blouse and jeans, but, as usual, Noah stole the fashion show. Taking a cue from Sarah, Olivia put mousse in his hair and combed it to the side for the classic movie-star look his sister loved. His blue plaid button-down shirt was tucked neatly into light khaki shorts tightened with a navy belt embroidered with white stars. Skewing the outfit back towards the casual were his gray converse high tops, intentionally untied. On one wrist was the silver cuff that matched Ed's and on the other was a multicolored Lego watch.

Olivia hugged Caroline. "Thanks for coming!"

"Thank you for inviting me," Caroline replied, "Eddie is very bad at keeping in touch with his mother."

"We really do need to get together more," Olivia agreed.

Noah held out a wrist, "Look, Brookey! I wear da watch you buyed me!"

"Oh, wow, No! It looks great! Can you tell me what time it is?" Brooke, ever the teacher, refused to buy a digital watch.

Noah studied the hands with furrowed brow, trying to remember the strategies Brooke taught him for telling time. "It's five-two!"

Brooke checked the face, amazed, "Wow. Close. It's two-oh-five." She gaped at Olivia, "He's really smart, Liv. Most of my students can't tell time on a regular clock, and they don't even know where to begin."

Olivia mussed Noah's hair, "He's lucky to have sisters who teach him all these things!"

"And ply him with junk food," Ed added with a grin.

Caroline nudged her son and produced a gigantic swirly lollipop from her bag, "That's what sisters and grandmas are for!" Noah's eyes widened at the sight of the candy.

" _Ma_."

"Oh, Eddie, lighten up! Why are you always so straight-laced? I don't know where you get that from. _At all_. Noah," Caroline crouched down, "You can have this later on, ok? In the meantime, eat one of the cookies I brought."

Ed rolled his eyes as Caroline handed Noah one of her famous peanut butter cookies.

"Now," Caroline commanded, "I want a tour. Noah, show me your bedroom, dearie."

Noah chewed his cookie and led Caroline and the rest of the adults to his room. He narrated with his mouthful, spewing crumbs everywhere. "Dis da bed. Dat my T-rex train. Dose my books."

Caroline picked up Bernie and hugged him, "Who's this?"

"Bernie!"

"He seems nice. Can I have him?"

Noah frowned and shook his head. "No," he replied sternly, "Bernie stay here." He reached up for his bear and put it securely under the covers before redirecting Caroline to his train set. After a stop to peek in the hallway bathroom, they went to the master bedroom which was finally in order. The bed was neatly made with the new striped duvet and matching pillowcases. Caroline tried out the plush easy chair and ottoman and raved about its comfort before admiring the view.

"Good thing there's no building directly across from here Eddie, they'd have a great view of your _nighttime activities_."

Ed took a swig of his beer and snickered, "And the daytime ones."

Brooke cracked up and Olivia joined in, albeit a bit bashfully.

"Look at their shower, grandma! It's so awesome—and you can fit about five people in there."

Caroline nodded approvingly, "They only need room for two, so there's some space to dance around in there."

"Alright," Ed said, "Time to go back to the _public_ areas."

….

By the time of Sarah's fashionably late arrival, most guests were on their second or third drinks. She wasn't completely sober, having had a strong cocktail at home, and her plan was to avoid Caroline as much as possible. That would be easier in a crowd. Nobody noticed her entrance. She quickly grabbed a drink and searched for Olivia, knowing she was probably going to be the best buffer between her and her prying grandmother.

"Livvie!" Sarah sidled up to Olivia and leaned in for a side hug. "Sorry I'm so late."

"Brooke said you were running behind schedule. No problem. You remember Amanda Rollins? Our sergeant?"

"Yes, yes, the one with the little girl, right?" Sarah asked, trying to be polite. Knowing how close Sonny and Amanda were, she saw the Sergeant as a potential enemy.

"Yep," Rollins replied, turning to a corner of the living room, "We've enlisted Noah to watch her. He's doing a great job." Sure enough, the toddler and the emerging big kid were camped out among a pile of toys playing sweetly, occasionally surveying the adult action, but mostly busying themselves with blocks, cars, and the girl toys Jesse brought along. "Remind me to pay, him, Lieutenant," Rollins joked.

"Where's grandma?" Sarah asked.

Olivia looked around, "I think she's eating over at the island. Yep. She's over there."

"I need to stay away from her. My husband and I are splitting up," Sarah explained to Amanda, "And I'm _not_ interesting in hearing her opinion about it."

"I understand," Rollins said, "My mother is constantly throwing veiled criticism in my face about my single parenting. Such a pleasure," she added sarcastically.

Olivia noticed another late arrival and excused herself. Sarah and Amanda drifted over to the windows to continue complaining about the overbearing older women in their lives, and Olivia went over to Barba who, despite the instructions, came bearing a gift.

"Barba! Thank you for coming!"

"Hey, Liv," he said with a smile, "Here. It's a gift."

"We said no gifts."

"Everybody says no gifts, but they expect gifts. Open it later. Drinks are…?"

"Over there."

"Ah, great." Barba ordered a scotch and returned to Olivia's side, "Beautiful place, Liv. Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"Squad's all here?"

"All but Fin. He may stop by later, but he's working."

"I see Carisi has Tucker cornered."

"As usual."

Barba chuckled sarcastically. Carisi's adoration for Tucker was a long-running inside joke. "Cragen or any of the old guys here?"

"Munch stopped by earlier. Cragen's in Florida. Amaro's mother is here somewhere. He wanted to come, but we'll see him next weekend. He's flying in for Mother's Day."

They made their way into the main space, and Barba, like everyone else, complimented the décor and furnishings. "You have good taste, Liv. Of course I knew that, but this really is spectacular."

Olivia led Barba into the kitchen, "Ed picked out all of this—appliances, countertops, everything."

"Negotiator extraordinaire with a knack for interior design. You hit the jackpot, Liv."

Olivia smiled and waved Brooke over. "Barba, do you remember Brooke? Ed's daughter?"

Brooke and Barba shook hands. "Yes, we met at the wedding. Good to see you again."

"Nice to see you, too," Brooke said, grinning at him, thinking about how closely his clothing resembled Noah's.

Olivia put her arm around Brooke's shoulders. "She helped me plan," Olivia said, "And she arranged the food and the drinks."

"Professional party planner?" Barba asked.

"Nope," Brooke replied, "Middle school teacher."

"Oh yeah? Where?"

"South Bronx right now. New job next year."

"Bless you," Barba said. "My mother runs a charter school. She never sleeps."

Confident Barba and Brooke could carry on a conversation without her, Olivia went to check in with her husband, but she had trouble prying him away from Carisi.

"Hey, Lieu!" He said, "Great party. Great food. You two really went all out. Thank you!"

"Glad you're enjoying yourself, Carisi."

"You know, Lieu, we really gotta do things like this more often, I mean, hang out all together. The Captain and I were just talkin' about how we need to maybe hit the park a couple Saturdays this spring." Carisi babbled on about potential squad outings and Olivia and Ed listened patiently until he was interrupted by Jesse and Noah who were now walking around the crowd, navigating the human obstacle course. Jesse grabbed a hold of Sonny's leg and Noah imitated her, latching onto the other one.

"Hey you two!" Sonny beamed down at them, "Didja eat, Jess?"

From the couch, Rollins informed him that she had.

"Well, I'd offer ya some cake, but I think Brooke said there'd be a toast before we dig in, so, how 'bout another cookie? Grandma Caroline sure killed it in the kitchen!"

"Gamma killed it!" Noah shouted. He and Jesse rode to the kitchen, still affixed to Carisi's legs.

Olivia put her arms around Ed's waist. "Having a good time?"  
"Yeah, great, I need to slow down with these, though," Ed held up his empty glass.

"I thought you were drinking beer?"

"Carisi brought me a bourbon. And then another one."

Olivia leaned against him, head tilted up, requesting a kiss. Ed hesitated.

"What's wrong?"

"I really want to kiss you, Lieutenant. But _really_ kiss you."

Olivia pecked his cheek, "A few more hours."

"Sarah informed me I have to give another toast."

"I'll help."

"Thanks."

They stood with their arms around each other, and surveyed their guests. Everyone seemed involved in friendly conversation. Barba and Brooke were now joined by Cole, his wife, and Caroline, who was simultaneously assisting Sonny with the kids' cookies and drinks. Sarah had apparently buried any animosity she had for Rollins, because the two of them sat next to one another, giggling and sharing stories. Sarah cajoled the bartender into giving her an entire bottle of wine, and they had finished over half of it. Other people, mostly Ed's coworkers and friends, milled about, eating and drinking.

A little later, Sarah peeled herself away from her new best friend and told Ed it was time for the toast and to cut the cake. "The older people look like they're getting tired," she slurred into his ear.

"Define older," Ed retorted, "Grandma still looks alert, and Liv and I are fine."

"Daddy, don't be difficult." Sarah grabbed a knife and tapped her glass. She motioned for Brooke to bring the cake to the table, and the caterer brought a stack of clean dessert plates and forks.

Ed called Noah over and Olivia picked him up. Ed raised his glass and held his wife and son close with his other arm. He cleared his throat and started the off-the-cuff toast. "Liv and I want to thank all of you for coming to help celebrate today. We love this place, and we're excited you're all a part of the first memories we have here. So, I think, at the risk of sounding selfish, I propose a toast to…us."

"To the Tuckers!" Olivia added.

Noah poked his face in front of his mother's. "I have cake now, mommy?"

Everyone laughed.

Ed heard Cole's voice. "Let the kid have the first piece, Tucker!"

"Wait!" Sarah rushed up to them with a wrapped gift. "We want you to open this now. I know you said no gifts, but Brookey and I got this for you."

Ed accepted the present and let Noah tear off the paper. It was a framed picture of the three of them in almost the exact spot where they now stood, but they were looking out at the skyline in profile, their bodies partially silhouetted. Noah was on Ed's hip, visually tracking something Ed was pointing out. Olivia looked on, the corners of her mouth upturned ever so slightly, an expression of amused serenity.

"You probably didn't know Brooke took that, didja?" Sarah asked, pleased their gift had rendered them speechless.

"No," Olivia mumbled, "When was this?"

"The first time you brought us all here. Remember? Noah was going nuts about the view? No," she prompted, wanting to show off for the crowd, "What's that city out there?"

"Ma'hattan!"

More laughter.

"We had it touched up," Brooke said, "I took it with my phone, but you'd never know it now. I just love it."

"Thanks you two," Ed said, reaching out to embrace his daughters. "It's really beautiful." The guests quickly diverted their attention away from them, so only Olivia heard the last sentence.

"It is," she whispered, nuzzling his neck. "It really is."

…

As late afternoon gave way to evening, guests gradually filtered out of the apartment, and Olivia and Ed stationed themselves in the foyer to say their goodbyes and thank-yous. The sun was beginning to set when the caterer and bartender departed, leaving the six Tuckers with Rollins, Jesse, and Carisi.

While Sonny explained how Ed could maximize office space with sets of floating shelves, Caroline joined Sarah and Amanda on the sofa. Brooke and Olivia sat at the island observing the three overserved ladies.

"Grandma's made of iron, I'm sure of it," Brooke said, "She drinks so much and never seems drunk. Dad, too, I guess. Maybe it runs in the family but stopped with me and Sarah."

"I can tell when your Dad's had too much to drink."

Brooke thought. "I can't. But, then again, if he's drunk, I probably am worse, so I wouldn't notice."

"Sarah seems ok today," Olivia remarked.

"She was scared of what Grams would say about Jeff, but she hasn't said anything to her. And now I think they're planning a girls' weekend on the Jersey shore."

Olivia laughed at the idea of an almost-eighty-year-old Caroline going to the beach with Rollins and Sarah. "I don't know if they can keep up with Caroline," she said.

" _Right_?"

Carisi and Ed joined them, "Lieu, I'm gonna help the Captain install some shelves in the office. You'll get more floor space that way and have room for a desk and a couple chairs. You can't get ridda that couch. Too much history there."

"I'm just glad Big Brown is out of our apartment," Brooke said.

"Hey," Ed snapped, "That couch has been in your life since you were born."

"That's why you can't get rid of it," Carisi insisted.

"Well, that's the next weekend project then," Olivia said.

"Um," Brooke looked around, "Where are the kids?"

"Asleep in Noah's room."

"No naps," Carisi remarked, "Sleep schedule's all off now." He caught a glimpse of Rollins whose exaggerated movements and heightened volume did little to hide the fact that she was deeply under the influence. "I'm probably gonna haveta take them home soon."

As if to help prove his point, Amanda reached over to refill her glass and the bottle slipped, knocking the glass over.

"Oh, shit!" she exclaimed.

Caroline brushed off the blunder, "Ah, nothing spilled, here ya go," she put the glass back on the table, "Let gramma pour."

"Hey, Rollins," Carisi called over to her, "You ready to go? I'll give you and Jesse a lift."

Clarity came over Amanda's face as if she'd just realized what was going on and where she was. Even impaired, she knew she didn't want to be drunk at her boss's house for much longer, so she accepted Carisi's offer. He went back to Noah's room and returned with Jesse. Sarah and Caroline walked Amanda towards the door.

"You gonna be able to get them both up to her apartment?" Ed asked Carisi.

"Yeah, she'll be fine."

"I'll walk you down to the car, at least."

"Thanks, Captain."

Carisi suddenly realized he forgot his jacket. He retrieved it from the back of a chair and almost ran into Brooke as she emerged from the hallway. "Hey, listen," he said in a hushed voice, "I'm gonna get her home and sober her up a bit, but then you wanna come by my place later? Late dinner maybe?"

Brooke intentionally avoided Sonny for most of the day, but she couldn't ignore the hopeful glint in his eyes.

"Sure. Lemme know."

He grinned at her, "Great! Wish me luck."

"Good luck."

…

Brooke put Caroline in an Uber and headed home, leaving Sarah to sleep off her wine on Ed and Olivia's couch.

"Sorry guys," Brooke apologized but wasn't the least bit remorseful. Sarah's stupor was neither her fault nor her responsibility, and she wanted to get home to freshen up in case Sonny actually followed through.

Ed frowned at his snoring daughter and watched Olivia cover her with a throw blanket and gently lift her head onto a pillow.

"We'll ship her home when she wakes up," Ed muttered. His face softened when he shifted his focus to his older daughter, "Thanks again for the picture. It looks great in here."

"You're welcome Dad. Have a good week if I don't see ya." Brooke hugged Olivia and took off.

With Noah still snoozing and the couch occupied, Olivia suggested they unwind in their bedroom chair. Ed asked about another drink and Olivia declined. He poured a small amount of the Amaretto Carisi brought and brought a glass of water for her, just in case. They settled into the chair.

"You wanna sip?"

Olivia sniffed the liquor. "Sure. Mmmm. It's good."

"Want me to get you one?"

"No, I'll just drink yours," Olivia replied sweetly.

Ed leaned in for what she thought would be a quick peck, but he caught her off guard and parted his lips at the last second and aggressively explored her mouth with his tongue. "That _is_ good," he murmured. "More, please."

During a quick break in the make-out session, Olivia asked him to assess the party.

"It was good," he said, "People had fun, no awkwardness, nobody overstayed…except for the guest currently drooling on our new sofa."

"I'm so glad your mom didn't push her about Jeff."

"I wasn't worried."

"You weren't? Brooke was. I was. _Sarah_ was."

Ed shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, maybe I shoulda told you. I talked to my mom last night about it."

"You _did_?"

Olivia thought she sounded impressed, but Ed mistook it for frustration. Perhaps he should have told her or Sarah or Brooke about his ex parte discussion. "I called her to, ya know, tell her about what was going on and that Sarah wasn't ready to talk about it. You know how she is, it woulda been this huge deal and ruined the day. Best just to leave it alone for the time being." Regret filled Ed's eyes, "I'm sorry. I should've told you."

"No," Olivia corrected him softly, caressing his cheek, "No, I'm not upset. That was really thoughtful, Ed." She planted a passionate kiss of her own on his lips. "So thoughtful." Another kiss. "And sweet." Another kiss.

Then she got up, leaving him alone and bewildered in the chair.

"Where ya goin?" He asked, obviously dejected.

She spun on her heel causing her hair to flow seductively across her face. She didn't answer; rather, she shot him a sly grin, took the last few steps toward the door, and turned the lock.

As he took in the sultry sight of Olivia slowly peeling off her shirt as she meandered back to him, Ed knew that he would forever associate that _click_ with the amazing chair sex they were about to have.

What a great day.

….

 _ **Hope you liked it! #Tuckson**_


	17. Chapter 17

_Early May, 2017. Reminder that the last chapter ended with the Housewarming Party and Sarah passing out on the Tucker couch. Thanks to JennBenson for helping cultivate this idea!_

 **Spring Scenes**

Noah clambered out of bed and sleepily wobbled down the hall into the living room where only silence greeted him. He paused, listened more closely, and picked up someone's heavy breathing, not quite a snore, but close. Stealthily and with a sly grin, he tiptoed over to the couch. To his delight, it was Sarah.

He stood next to her and whispered her name, but she didn't wake up. Impatient, he pried open one of her eyes with his thumb and forefinger and leaned in for a close examination of the eyeball.

"Hi Noey," she said, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Hi Sarah," he whispered back, still inspecting her eye socket. "You 'sleep?"

"Not anymore."

"You babysit me?"

Sarah scrunched up her face, rubbed her eyes, and sat up. The throw blanket fell to the floor and Noah dutifully put it back over her legs. "I don't think I'm babysitting you. Where're Mommy and Daddy?" Both she and Noah cast cursory glances around the room. Sarah rubbed her eyes again, trying to shake the alcohol-induced haze and determine if she was still drunk, sober, or in the beginning stages of a hangover. Whatever it was, she needed water.

"Mommy and Daddy take nap?" Noah asked innocently. After all, everyone else had been. "Where the people?"

"They went home 'cause the party ended." Sarah stood up and folded the blanket. "I'm getting a drink, No. You want something?"

"Gotta go potty."

"You need help?"

"No, I do it."

Sarah filled a large tumbler with water, downed it, and refilled the glass. Responding to the gnawing pangs in her stomach, she hunted through the refrigerator for leftovers. She put a few meatballs on a plate and heated them in the microwave. Noah returned and struggled to climb on the bar chair until Sarah gave him a boost. She cut a meatball, blew on it, and took a bite.

"Yum. These are good. You wanna bite?"

"Uh-huh." Noah opened his mouth. "Yum!" he said with his mouthful.

"Did you flush?"

"No, you flush."

Sarah cut up another meatball and slid the plate and fork to him. "Ok, _I'll_ flush. Are you scared to do it?"

" _No_ ," he replied with some attitude, "It hard."

"Be right back." Sarah went to the bathroom and pushed the button. _It is hard,_ she thought, _geez_. She checked her face in the mirror, dabbed at her eye makeup with a wipe, and retied her ponytail. She doubted they kept medicine in the bathroom primarily used by Noah, but she hunted unsuccessfully for aspirin there anyway.

On her way out, she looked to the opposite end of the hall at the closed master bedroom door. Just as she concluded Noah was right, that they were sleeping, she heard a stifled giggle and a thud. Curious, she took a couple of soft steps towards the door.

" _Ow."_ That was Olivia's voice. Intrigued and grinning mischievously, Sarah got closer.

"Sorry."

"I'm fine."

"Lemme make it better."

Some smacking. Shuffling. More giggles.

They were speaking in hushed tones, obviously cognizant of their guest and their son, but not _so_ cognizant that they were any less active. Sarah heard the clanking of Noah eating. Satisfied he was temporarily occupied, she took another few steps and stifled a laugh, thinking about how virulently Brooke would chastise her for eavesdropping.

"How's that?"

" _Ed, baby."_

Sarah reprimanded _herself_ as Olivia's moans grew not exactly louder, but more intense. What did get louder were the thuds which Sarah attributed to the ottoman or the chair or both bumping against the wall.

" _Oh my_ —" Sarah heard Olivia's muffled "GAWWWWD" and put a hand over her own mouth, shaking with silent laughter at how Olivia used her signature expression.

Then, she nearly lost it when she heard her Dad mutter, "That's twice."

"Your turn," Olivia said.

 _Omigod, omigod, omigod_.

"Oh yeah?"

"Take me to the bed." Sarah desperately wanted to record this for no other reason than to let Brooke hear Olivia's voice. Their Livvie always spoke in a smooth, caring, gentle tone, at least to them, and this bedroom voice was deeper, hoarse, and authoritative.

 _If I ever have sex again, I'm stealing that voice. I never stop learning from my Livvie!_ She vowed to practice later on.

"C'mon." She heard her Dad grunt a little and then a dull thump—maybe him dropping Olivia on the mattress.

"On your back, Captain."

"Whatever you say, Lieutenant."

 _Omigod, they use their ranks! I wish I had a rank! I need a rank. Or a guy who has one!_

Sarah wanted pointers on whatever Olivia was doing to her Dad because when he said, "Aw, baby, I fucking love you," it oozed with pure pleasure.

 _This is so hotttttt!_

Then, she sent him into what must have been an erotic stupor. There were a few breathless _Livs_. The next words out of him were not words—gasps mostly, and, what was _that_? Some type of growl?

Then their conversation, if one could call it that, turned oddly mundane. Sarah furrowed her brow.

"I thought you were tired?"

"I thought you were a little drunk?"

"Nah, not anymore."

"Good party."

"Great party."

"Be good to have a lazy day tomorrow, though."

"Yeah."

Silence.

 _Probably kissing_.

"Ed, we should probably get out there."

Olivia's regular voice was back.  
"Yeah, ok."

"So, _harder_."

She went back to the sexy voice.

"Like this?"

" _Yessssssss_."

Sarah got up and crept back to the kitchen. Noah was exactly where she left him only now he was covered with meatball sauce.

"I eated all da me'balls," he said proudly, licking the fork.

"I see. You didn't leave me any!" Sarah forced a fake pout.

"You get more, Sarah. In da fridge'rator."

"I will, but let's clean you up." She carried him from the chair to the sink, sat him on the counter and wiped his hands and face with a dishcloth. After he was clean, she heated a few more meatballs for herself.

"You find Mommy n Daddy?"

"Yeah, they'll, uh, be out in a minute."

"I wanna watch teeeeeveeeee, Sarah, you watch wiff me?"

Sarah went over and flipped the channels until she found Cartoon Network. "You start. I'm gonna finish eating."

"You eat here wiff me."

"No, we can't eat on the new couch."

 _Although your Mom and Dad have probably done worse on it._

"We get it dirty?"

"Not if I eat in the kitchen. I'll just be a minute, and I'm right here."

"I want Mommy. I gonna get her."

 _Damn. Of all the times for him to want his Mom_. "She'll be out in a minute, No. Just watch TV."

" _No_. I wanna see Mommy." Noah took off toward the hallway, but Sarah intercepted him.

"Ha! I gotcha, Noey!" She hoisted him in the air and blew strawberries on his belly.

Noah squealed as he fought to get free. Sarah squeezed him tightly then put him down and he continued on his beeline but ran into Olivia who rounded the corner dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. She must have spent a few minutes putting herself together—her hair was in a neat ponytail and her makeup, though faded a bit, wasn't smeared.

"Hi sweet boy!" She scooped Noah into her arms and hugged him tightly. "Good nap?"

"Uh-huh. I waked up Sarah!"

"You _did_?" Olivia beamed at Sarah, "I'm sure she appreciated that." Olivia patted Sarah's back and murmured, "Thanks, hon."

"Where Jesse, Mama?"

"Jesse went home with her mom."

"Sonny goed home too?"

"Yep."

"Brookey?"

"I think Brookey's at home."

Noah widened his eyes and addressed Sarah, "You stay here wiff us?"

"I don't think so, Noey. I drank all the booze and ate all the food and now I should probably go home. Livvie, Daddy isn't mad at me is he?" Sarah was impressed with herself for being so unfazed in the presence of Olivia.

 _She doesn't know_. _They'll never know_.

Olivia started clearing plates and glasses from the tables and brushed off Sarah's concern. "Of course not. He's fine."

"I didn't eat," Sarah whined, "I always forget to eat when I drink."

"Why don't you take some food home with you? We have so many leftovers." She found a plastic container and handed it to Sarah. "Here, take whatever you want."

"Thanks. Where's Daddy?"

"He just jumped in the shower," Olivia replied casually.

"Ok, well, tell him thanks for me. I'm gonna head out. C'mere, Noey. Give me kisses!"

Noah ran over. "You leave, Sarah?"

"Yeah, but I'll see ya this week sometime. Love you so, so, so much, Noey!"

"Lub YOU so much!"

"How much?"

Noah held his arms out wide. "Dis much!"

"Me too, sweetie."

Sarah hadn't taken three steps out of the apartment before she sent a text to Brooke.

 _OMG OMG OMG OMG you are NOT going to believe the STORY I have to tell YOU!_

…

Sarah practically ran home. Brooke hadn't texted back, but she thought nothing of it. She was probably sleeping, too. It wasn't terribly late, maybe she could talk her into hitting Quinn's if she wasn't too groggy. The nap and the food helped, and Sarah felt almost normal. She let herself into the dark apartment. Brooke's purse was there so she was home. Sarah noticed a thin purplish light emanating from under her bedroom door and darted to her room, but stopped in her tracks and stifled a giggle. No way. This was not happening twice in one night.

"Great movie."

 _Omigod, omigod, omigod_.

The voice was unmistakably Sonny's, and he said _great movie_ with a giggle which Sarah took to mean they hadn't actually watched much of the movie.

 _Say something, Brookey_.

Nothing. More giggles. Some rustling. Maybe a smack of the lips?

 _Dad and Livvie were more interesting_.

"So, this was good." Carisi again. Was Brooke even in there?

"I'm glad you came over."

"Thanks for the invite."

 _Gawwwd, this is boring_.

"I have to work tomorrow and most of next week, but let's plan on dinner, maybe another movie?"

More laughter. Footsteps. Movement on the floor.

 _Jesus, you guys, what are you, twelve?_

Disappointed, Sarah hustled to her room, shimmied out of her party clothes and into sweats. She collapsed on the bed and innocently examined her phone, awaiting her sister's inevitable arrival.

Seconds later, Brooke flung her door open. "Hello."

"Hey," Sarah replied, keeping her eyes fixed on the screen.

"How long were you listening to us?"

Sarah scrunched up her face. "Whaddya talkin' about?"

" _Sarah_."

" _Brooke_."

Brooke took a seat on the side of the bed and wrested the phone from Sarah's hand. "How much did you hear?"

"Just something about a movie."

"Yes, we watched a movie."

"Which one?"

"Silver Linings Playbook."

"Tell me about it." Sarah challenged. Brooke ticked off some plot details before Sarah interrupted her. "You know what, I don't care about the fucking movie. I wanna know what else happened in there."

"We just kissed a little."

"A little?"

"Yes."

Sarah realized Brooke wasn't giving up details easily, so she shifted to what she really wanted to talk about. "You will never guess what happened at Dad and Livvie's."

"What?"

"Well, I fell asleep."

"Passed out."

"Same thing. Anyway, Noey woke me up and was like, 'where's the parents?' So, I got up with him and made some food and helped him flush the freaking toilet, and when I came out of the bathroom I heard something from their bedroom."

"You. Did. _Not_."

Sarah grinned unabashedly, "Oh, I _did_."

"You're so bad."

"You don't wanna know?"

"Not really," Brooke replied dryly, but she stayed seated on the bed and a smile formed on her face.

Sarah beamed at her. "Yes you do!" The sisters huddled together conspiratorially. "Ok, so, there was this bang and then whatever Dad was doing, it was hot, cuz Livvie was like _oh gawwd_ , oh, but first, he musta dropped her or something."

"Dropped her?"

"I don't know. She said _ow_. Anyway, after whatever he did, I'm assuming oral, she told him to put her on the bed."

"Where were they before?"

Sarah cast a glance upward, trying to visualize their bedroom. "I'm guessing the chair. I don't know. I didn't have _eyes_ , Brookey."

"Oh shit."

"I know. It was ridiculously hot."

"Except it's Dad. And Liv. You're going straight to hell."

"I'll write you. So, and this is the best part, the next things I hear are _Captain this_ and _Lieutenant that_ , omigod, omigod, I was dying."

"They call each other Captain and Lieutenant?" Brooke asked incredulously.

"Yes, isn't that _hottttt_?"

"Like he outranks her so he's, uh, giving her _orders_?"

"That's the next thing." Sarah was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. "It was more like she was telling him what to do, and Brookey, omigod, omigod, I wish I was a good mimic because—yougottahearhervoice."

"Her voice?"

"She sounded like one of those cocktail lounge singers."

" _What_?"

"Her voice was so deep and sexy, and, what's that word? _Sultry_. I need to practice it." Sarah tried a few sentences, but it elicited only critical snickers from her sister.

"I suggest you stick to your natural sound when you're rolling around with…whoever."

Sarah poked Brooke's shoulder. "Speaking of rolling around. You had Sonny in your bed!"

"I told you. We were watching a movie. And kissed. That's it."

"I don't believe you. Why was the door closed? Door closed? On your bed? Come on. Did he at least, ya know, cop a feel?"

"Sorta."

"Under shirt or over shirt?  
"Under but over bra."

Sarah frowned, "Why did he stop?"

"We heard you come in."

"Yeah right. Blame it on me."

Brooke shrugged. "The movie was over. He's technically on duty. And you think you're stealthy, but you have King Kong footsteps."

"Well, at least he was here and not with Amanda. I spent the whole party with her, and, from what I remember, I don't think they have anything going on. She talked about him like he was a brother. Or her older son."

Brooke nodded, "He really likes to take care of people."

"Now he needs to take care of you, if ya know what I mean."

Brooke groaned.

"How did he end up over here, anyway?"

"He took Rollins home and stayed there while she slept it off. He wanted me to go to his place, but I was already changed and didn't feel like going anywhere."

"So you invited him."

"Yes."

"Good for you, Brookey. Be assertive."

"The next time he's here," Brooke shoved Sarah and she dramatically fell backwards into her pillows, "No voyeurism."

Sarah pouted. "You're no fun."

"I don't know how you can talk to Dad and Liv like a normal person now that you've… _heard them_!"

"Oh _please_ ," Sarah retorted, "They're flirty around us all the time. _Gawd_. Dad practically undresses her with his eyes, like, all the time. And it's like, they're always close. They're so, so, so, so in _love_."

"What is your point?"

"My point is…hearing them fucking isn't such a big step from what we've already seen," Sarah let out a heavy sigh, "I want a relationship like that. _Gawd_ it was hot."

Brooke regarded her sister with amusement. "Try that sexy voice again," she challenged playfully and erupted into giggles as Sarah earnestly yet futilely tried to match Olivia's bedroom drawl.

…..

"Hey, Liv, you wanna take the bikes out? It's clearing up."

Noah sprinted from the couch to the kitchen and bellowed, "BIKE!"

Olivia put the last of the breakfast plates in the dishwasher and assessed the weather through the window. She, Noah, and Ed spent most of the drizzly morning cuddled on the couch. They let Noah have extra iPad time and the two of them lazily paged through the newspaper and magazines. Eschewing the television, Olivia programmed Pandora, and they sipped coffee to a New Age station which Ed didn't love but enjoyed for the time being because it fit the setting perfectly. He also enjoyed the feel of his wife leaning against him and he nuzzled her lovingly, periodically planting kisses on her head.

They prepared a late breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit and ate at the table in their pajamas.

"Rainy, rainy, rainy day," Noah mumbled between bites, "Need an umber-ella guys!"

"You have an umbrella, sweet Noah," Olivia said, "Your frog one, remember?"

"Oh yeah! We go out?"

"If it stops raining later we'll go out bud," Ed promised, looking doubtfully at the dark sky.

Noah climbed out of his booster seat and ran to the window, leaving child-sized palm prints on the glass, "SUN! Come out! NOW!"

"Noah, come back here and finish breakfast," Olivia commanded.

"I calling the sun, Mommy."

"I know you are, but if it comes out, you'll need energy to play. So come eat your eggs."

Noah bought her reasoning and trotted back to the table. "Yellow eggs. Sun yellow, too."

"What else is yellow, pal?"

Noah scrunched up his face, thinking hard. "School bus."

"Yup."

"Bnana. My train. The sisters."

"The sisters?" Olivia asked gently.

"Sisters _hayerrrrr_." To prove his point, Noah scrambled yet again from his chair, ran to the refrigerator, and returned with one of his drawings. In it, he'd drawn the girls' hair with thick yellow crayon strokes. "See?" He slapped the construction paper on the table between his parents.

Ed lifted Noah into his lap and dragged his plate over. "That looks just like Brookey and Sarah. What color is Mommy's hair?"

"Bown."

"What about mine?"

Noah answered matter-of-factly, "White."

Olivia and Ed exchanged an amused look and Olivia reached over and tousled Ed's short hair. "It's still kind of dark in some places," she murmured.

"Nope," Noah refuted with his mouth full of toast, "White like da snow!"

" _Awwww_ ," Ed groaned.

Olivia pulled Ed's head over and kissed his cheek, "We love Daddy and his white hair, don't we, Noah?"

"Uh-huh," Noah responded as if her question were totally unnecessary. " _Luuuuuuuuuuub_ Daddy."

"Why do you love Daddy?"

"Daddy nice."

"Why else?"

"He lub me and taked me to fly da plane. And he make," Noah switched to a deep grumble, "SCRAMBLY EGGS!"

Ed kissed the top of his head, "I love making you scrambly eggs, bud."

Now, with the sun peeking out from behind the clouds, Olivia scrubbed the pan Ed used to make the eggs and carefully dried it. They purchased bikes weeks ago, used them on that day, and they'd remained in storage ever since. Most days they took Noah to the park so he could ride his two-wheeler with training wheels, but today Ed wanted to hit the Hudson River Greenway. They got dressed, took the elevator to the basement storage room, and retrieved the bikes. With Noah helmeted and secured in the child seat, they took off for the path.

…

Noah and his parents rode to Battery Park, and on the way back they stopped at Sarah and Brooke's apartment for a quick visit. The girls were hanging out on the couch watching television. Take out containers littered the coffee table and Ed looked suspiciously at the empty wine and beer bottles heaped in the recycling bin. Brooke's laptop was open and on the floor; a pile of ungraded student work rested on the keyboard. Random articles of clothing were strewn around, dishes were piled in the sink, and a load of towels was heaped on the floor waiting to be shoved into the washing machine.

"You girls kinda behind on cleaning?" Ed asked with a smirk.

Sarah bounced Noah on her lap. "We clean on Saturdays, but we had the party yesterday, so we're behind. Love your helmet, Noey."

"It has spikes like da T-Rex!"

Sarah knocked on the hard plastic, "And it's good for protecting that cute little head of yours. Did Mommy or Daddy drive you on the bike?"

"Daddy. He goed fast!"

"Where'd ya go?"

"See da satchoo!"

"Wow," Brooke said, "You went all the way downtown? You're motivated."

"Yeah," Sarah added, "I thought it was supposed to be a lazy day." The second after she said it she cringed inside and a rush of anxiety numbed her face. The Ed and Olivia lazy day plan had been mentioned _in their bedroom_ yesterday; Sarah concentrated on playing with Noah and hoped they didn't realize she was quoting their private conversation.

"Sun comed out, Sarah," Noah said as if she were the child and he the adult.

"It did?"

"Uh-huh." He pointed to the window, " _See_?"

Sarah feigned confusion. "But it was raining! I swear it was!"

Noah made a face, "Sun said, get outta here, rain!"

"Where'd the rain go?"

"Da river."

"So how'd you two spend the rest of last night?" Olivia asked, taking a seat in the side chair after moving Sarah's purse to the counter.

Wanting to divert attention away from herself, Sarah replied quickly, "Brooke had a gentleman caller."

" _Sarah_."

"What?"

Brooke rolled her eyes, "While sister here slept it off on your couch, Sonny came over and watched a movie with me."

"What movie?" Ed and Olivia asked simultaneously.

Brooke relayed the title. Neither Ed nor Olivia had seen it.

"Don't worry, Dad," Sarah said, "There was no Netflix and chill going on."

Ed held up a palm, "Just so ya know, in the future, I don't need to know one way or another."

"I like Sonny," Sarah said, "Livvie, do _you_ like him?"

"He's a great guy and an excellent detective."

"I think so, too. If I'm missing or assaulted, I'd definitely want him on the case."

Brooke peered at her sister incredulously, "You are _so_ demented!"

Noah was yanking at the helmet straps and Sarah helped him remove it. "Noey, you don't think I'm demented, do you? Say no," she whispered in his ear.

"No." He whispered back.

"Good boy! You get a cookie! Race ya to the pantry!"

Noah took off, but he didn't make it to the pantry. He ran into the towel pile and went sprawling forward on his hands, bumping his chin against the floor. After a second of stunned silence, he broke into a piercing wail.

"WAHHHHHHHHH!"

Ed bounded over and examined his mouth and chin. No blood. He held him tightly to his chest and caressed the back of his head. "It's ok, bud," he repeated, "It's ok." When Noah calmed down a bit, he held him up for further inspection, tenderly kissed his chin, and wiped his tears. By this time, Olivia was next to them and Noah reached out for her.

"Mama," he cried, reaching out for her, choking back sobs and sniffling into her shoulder.

"Noey, we're so sorry," Brooke cooed at him. "Your sisters need to clean up, don't we?"

"Sisters messy," Noah whimpered.

"Do you still love us?" Sarah asked, wide eyed, looking Noah in his tear-stained face. He turned into Olivia's neck and breathed heavily. " _Please_ forgive us, Noey," she begged while Brooke found the Oreos, making sure to make plenty of noise.

Olivia swayed and soothed him. "It was just an accident, huh, sweet boy? You're ok. Just a little bump. Of course you love your sisters, right?"

Noah nodded and croaked out a muffled, "Uh-huh."

Ed kicked the pile over to the wall and muttered, "I'm surprised you two haven't fallen over this considering all the bottles you've consumed this week."

"Actually, that's about a month," Brooke said, regarding the recycling. "We're bad about taking them out."

"Yeah," Ed replied sarcastically, "Since it's not like the chute is on the way to the elevator or anything."

"Here, No," Brooke tapped his cheek with an Oreo, "Apology cookie."

"Fank you Brookey," Noah said weakly and gingerly accepted the treat.

She kissed him, "You're welcome little man."

"Alright," Ed said, "Let's go home." He grabbed Noah's helmet, "Time for lunch and a nap." Sarah caught her father gently elbow Olivia on his way out of the kitchen.

She saved her gasp and giggles for after they were out of the apartment.

"Did you _see_ that?" She asked Brooke.

"See what?" Brooke asked, shoving the towels in the washing machine.

"Dad said they were gonna take a nap and then he elbowed her!"

"So what?" Brooke asked as she slid the heavy recycling bin towards the door. "Are you gonna follow them home?"

"Oh stop. I think that was a once in a lifetime thing." Sarah tried to be helpful by rinsing dishes that had already been rinsed. "You really should ask Olivia for some pointers. I would, but you're the one with a man."

"Sonny isn't my man," Brooke corrected, "And there's no way in hell I'm asking Liv for pointers."

"That's what mothers are for!" Sarah insisted as if Brooke was being ridiculously unreasonable.

Brooke scoffed, " _Mothers_? Well, after you ask mom for tips, I'll ask Olivia."

The girls burst into laughter at the prospect of asking their straight laced mother for sex advice.

Sarah wiped tears from her eyes and veered to a different subject, "Do you remember Dad kissing us when we got hurt?"

Brooke thought. "No, but I don't remember anything from when I was three. I'm sure he did."

"I just don't remember him being so lovey with us like he is with Noah."

Brooke looked at her sister with concern, "Are you jealous?"

"Of Noah? Of course not."

"I get it," Brooke relented, "But you need to realize something about Dad—when he's happy he's the best. Remember? After he and mom got divorced, the three of us were much closer. I don't think he does well when he's in a bad relationship."

"Well, those days are over for him."

"I hope so."

"Don't be so pessimistic, Brooke," Sarah said, "If anyone should be, it's me. Dad and Livvie will be together forever. He's freaking gaga over her and, I cannot stress this enough because I know from personal experience, she may not be as obvious about it, but, _trust me,_ she's pretty fucking crazy for him, too."

"I still can't believe you did that," Brooke said, shaking her head.

Sarah dramatically fell backwards against the island, "It's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me," she sighed, "I'll remember it forever."

Before Brooke pulled the recycling through the open door, she rolled her eyes. "You're so fucked up."

"That may be so," Sarah replied, "But if you woulda been there you woulda done the same thing."

"Sure. Sitting in a hallway listening to two fifty-somethings have sex. Sounds like my kinda afternoon."

"You and I both know," Sarah retorted, "Livvie and Dad _do not_ act their age."

Conceding the point, Brooke slid the recycling into the hall, letting the door slam behind her.

….

 _Next, Carisi helps Ed hang shelves in the Tucker office, Mother's Day, and a visit from Amaro._

 _Also, working on the next_ _Truce_ _installment! More soon!_


	18. Chapter 18

_Sorry for the delay. I'm occupied with Truce and getting that one finished by 9/21 (which is the premiere date for anyone who was just born a minute ago)._

 _ **Mother's Day Prelude (May, 2017)**_

Ed couldn't help but grin uncontrollably at Noah's face as Jimmy the Barber trimmed the boy's fine brown hair. He wrinkled his nose and puckered his lips and occasionally tried to blow upwards to redirect the falling wisps. Even though he seemed bothered by the whole process of a haircut, he also appeared to be simultaneously intrigued. Noah's eyes followed every one of Jimmy's movements. When the cut was finished, Jimmy ran the brush over the back of Noah's neck and he giggled uncontrollably.

"Dat tickly!"

"You want me to style it for him?" Jimmy asked Ed.

"Sure, go ahead."

"You want spikes, Noah?"

He nodded eagerly, "Like da _stegassssssrus_!"

"Ok," Jimmy replied, "I'll do a little faux hawk."

"You get spikes, Daddy?" Noah asked, keeping his gaze fixed on himself in the mirror.

"Nah, bud, that's for you little guys."

"I a little guy?"

"Yup."

"You big guy?"

"Yup."

"I be big guy, too."

"Someday," Ed assured him, "You sure will. Big and strong."

Noah growled, "I STRONG!"

"You sure are, bud."

"You strong, too, Daddy."

"Thanks, pal."

"So what are you guys doing today?" Jimmy asked.

"My wife's working," Ed said, "So Noah and I are gonna pick out a present for Mother's Day, right, No?"

"Uh-huh and we eat lunch at da pub."

Jimmy laughed. "The pub, huh?"

"Yeah, I don't think Liv's too thrilled he says that."

"Ah," Jimmy scoffed good-naturedly, "Men hang out in pubs. Training him well. And," he clapped his hands together and flung off Noah's smock, "With this hair, he'll attract all the ladies."

Noah gingerly patted his gelled hair.

"Like it?"

"I look like da stegasssrus," he whispered, amazed.

"Yep," Jimmy whispered back, "You sure do. You're part boy, part dinosaur."

" _Whoa_ ," Noah gasped.

"Don't tell anyone."

Noah nodded with all the gravitas a three-year-old could possibly muster and whispered, " _Kay_."

….

Ed sleepily looked at his phone and grumbled. "Why do I feel like I'm raising teenagers again?"

Olivia rolled over and lazily draped her arm across his chest. "Hmmmm?" She droned into the pillow.

"Sarah and Brooke. Arguing about Mother's Day. And they have this group message thing going back and forth with me on it."

Still mostly asleep, Olivia mumbled something into the pillow.

"Liv?"

"Hmmmmm?"

"You realize I can't understand you?"

"Mmmmhmmm."

Ed propped himself on a few extra pillows and gazed lovingly at his wife's bare shoulders, interrupted only by two narrow tank top straps, and the familiar tangled mop of brown hair. He kissed the back of her neck, sucking at her hard enough to garner a reaction. Sure enough, she rolled over, brushed the stray locks from her face, and grinned, eyes half-open.

"You wake up too early," she whined.

"It's the girls' fault."

"Why are they arguing about Mother's Day?"

"So you _did_ hear me."

"Of course I did," she said with a little more energy, "You _talk_ so much, Captain Tucker. I never pegged you for being so chatty."

"I like talking to you."

"MOMMMMMMYYYY?" Noah banged on the door with his little fists.

Ed knew his chances for an early morning quickie were dwindling and he rolled back over to his side.

"Come in, sweet boy, you know how to open the door." Olivia said sweetly while winking at her husband.

They heard Noah jostle the door handle. Ed was about to relent and open it for him when Noah appeared, already dressed in jeans and a navy Polo shirt. He'd even included a belt.

Olivia reached out for him but was still buried under the covers, "Noah! You're all ready to go! But…where are we going?"

"Muvvers Day," he replied as if his mother had just asked the world's dumbest question.

Ed wrapped both Noah and Olivia in a giant snuggle, "Mother's Day is next week, bud. But ya know what? Since we're up—"

"We're not up," Olivia interjected, with a bit of an attitude. Her men usually were good about letting her sleep in on the mornings she wasn't on duty, but today neither one of them was operating according to plan.

Ed's sole purpose for waking her up had been to sneak something in before the little guy was up, but since that was no longer happening, he figured they might as well go get breakfast.

Noah, wedged between them, choked out a few words, "I ready. Mommy, I hungy. Lessgo."

Ed extracted him and held him high above the bed. Noah splayed his arms and pretended to fly. "Vroooooooom! I fly high!"

"Where you wanna go, big guy?"

Noah landed on Ed's chest and curiously examined his stubble. "You have beard, Daddy."

"Yeah, pal, I gotta shave."

"I shave?"

"No, not yet."

"I wanna shave."

"Actually, no ya don't."

Noah looked back and forth at his parents curiously and touched Olivia's face. "Mommy shave?"

"Nope," _Well, not her face_ , Ed thought, then said, "Mommy's face is always very smooth," he touched the other cheek. Olivia had re-buried her head back into the pillows, trying to get a few more seconds of shut-eye, but both Ed and Noah were pawing at her face.

"Now let's kiss her," Ed whispered to Noah. "Let's get her to wake up so we can go to breakfast."

Noah and Ed took turns kissing Olivia's exposed cheek. It only took a few rounds before her face contorted into a grin and then erupted into laughter. "Alright, alright, I'm awake." Can I at least have, maybe, twenty minutes?"

Olivia fought her way out of the covers and went to the bathroom. Noah, still intrigued by Ed's whiskers, absent-mindedly asked, "You gonna get up, Daddy?"

"Yeah, bud."

"My stegassssrus hair fall down."

"I know, bud, you took a bath and we washed the goop outta it."

"We make it spiky again?"

"Sure."

"Sare bear know how."

"So do I."

"You teached Sare bear?"

"Not exactly, but I know how. I'm smart."

"Sare bear smart," Noah declared firmly.

"She tell you that?"

Noah giggled. "Uh-huh. Then we eat Oreos."

…..

Sarah fussily wiped the sticky formica tabletop with the flimsy diner napkins and almost collapsed when her father arrived with Olivia and Noah.

"Daddy," she gasped, "Thank _gawwwwd_. They were about to make me move because I didn't have enough people. What took you so long? Hi Livvie! NOEY! OMG I haven't seen you in one week and you're already man-ish."

"Hey Sarah," Olivia said, "Sorry we're late. Noah had a complete meltdown about this not being Mother's Day."

Sarah peered, confused at Noah. "What's wrong, Noey Boey?"

Noah only sniffled and pressed his tear-streaked face into Ed's side. "It's my fault," Ed said, more to Noah than to anyone else, "I got him all excited for Mother's Day and it's not 'til next weekend. Sorry, buddy. C'mon, sit up. It's ok."

Noah sat up, albeit in Ed's lap, and pulled something from the pocket of his jeans. "Here Mommy," he said weakly, defeated. Olivia took the object from his little fist. It was a small pebble, pinkish in color. "I gotted it for you at da slide."

Sarah collapsed her head onto the table, swooning.

Olivia took the rock and examined it through welling tears. " _Noah_ ," she gasped, "It's so beautiful. You found this all by yourself?"

"I finded it. Daddy clean it."

"Wow."

"It for Muvvers Day."

"I love it, sweetheart. Thank you, baby boy. You know what? I'm going to take it to work and put it on my desk next to the picture of you on the swings."

Noah perked up, "I finded it at the _slide_."

"Do you want to take another picture by the slide?"

He nodded. "But we eat scrambly eggs first," he grabbed the oversized menu and disappeared behind it. "Yup," he reported, dey have da scrambly eggs!"

"I swear to Gawwwd," Sarah said, "I will pay to clone this boy. He's perfect. I have never met a more perfect man." She took Noah into her arms and stared into his eyes, "Noey, how do you always know how to be perfect?"

The question befuddled him for a moment, but he quickly retorted, "Daddy and Mommy taughted me."

Sarah gave him another squeeze. "And I love your hair! Spiky!"

"Daddy did it."

"Daddy used to braid my hair and Brookey's hair," Sarah recalled fondly, "He was pretty good at it."

Olivia raised her eyebrows and amusedly looked over at Ed, imagining him styling his daughters' blonde locks. He pretended not to notice. "I'm disappointed I missed that," she said.

"Yeah," Sarah huffed, "He always braided it really tight so it wouldn't fall out. Our _mother_ couldn't be bothered to do it."

Ed grumbled. He hated it when Sarah brought up his ex-wife in front of his new wife.

"Are you and Brooke seeing her next weekend?" Olivia asked, annoying Ed even further. Now _she_ was talking about his ex-wife?

"Well, I was trying to explain to Dad this morning that there is absolutely no way I'm going to Connecticut. Dave invited us, they're having a party, and I don't wanna go, but Brooke is insisting I do, and I'm _trying_ to help her understand I can make this decision without making her look bad."

As usual, Olivia had to wade through Sarah's convoluted speech to find and address the underlying issues. Before she could respond, Sarah added, "And Daddy is absolutely no help."

"Whaddya want me to do?" Ed muttered, looking up at the television, trying to ignore the women. Noah was now in his lap, looking around at the crowd.

"Take my side."

"I thought I did."

"You just told Brooke that I could make my own decisions."

Ed frowned, "What _else_ do you want me to do?"

"Brooke seems to think whatever I do reflects on her, like she's my keeper or something. So, if I don't go, Mom's gonna take it out on her."

"You should go."

Sarah grimaced. "Livvie, what do you think?"

"You should go," Olivia repeated Ed's words softly, knowing it wasn't what Sarah wanted to hear, "At least make an appearance."

"I'm gonna go to Grandma's."

It was Ed who hit the core of Sarah's reluctance, "You're gonna have to tell her about Jeff at some point of time."

Sarah groaned, "She knows. Brooke told her for me. I just don't want to see the _look_. At least at Grandma's we'll just have some cocktails and talk about how men suck."

Both Noah and Ed faced Sarah with ultra-innocent expressions. _Us? We suck?_

"Well," Olivia said, "We're going to see my old partner and his family, and then we're going to Caroline's. You're welcome to join us."

"Thank you," Sarah said triumphantly, "I'm texting Brookey _right_ _now_."

"Where Brookey, Sarah?" Noah asked.

Sarah stifled a laugh, "Oh, she sorta, well, she was at a _sleepover_ last night, Noey."

…

 _Bzzzzt_.

 _Bzzzt_.

Brooke read the multiple texts from Sarah, rolled her eyes, and tossed the phone aside.

 _I'm going with Dad and Livvie for Mother's Day._

 _Are you home yet?_

 _Are you even UP yet?_

"Thought it'd be me getting all the calls," Carisi remarked, nudging her. "The cop's the one who's supposed to get the interruptions."

Brooke threw an arm across his bare chest, "Sorry," she mumbled, "I told you I don't have kids, but that wasn't completely true. Sarah is my child."

"Everything ok?"

"She's never ok, but there's no emergency."

"No wonder you and I get along so well," Carisi said, "We're always takin' care of other people. I think we may be the most stable people in our families."

"My Dad and Liv are pretty solid," Brooke said, wondering if it was weird that they were talking about their families while lying naked next to one another.

"Yeah, they are," Carisi replied, "What are they gonna say? About this?"

"What is this?" Brooke asked.

Sonny ran his fingertips across her back, "I don't do one night stands," he said, perhaps a little troubled Brooke may have considered that a possibility.

"Neither do I."

"I do, however, make breakfast. Hungry?"

"Yeah."

Brooke smiled. Sonny had made them dinner last night and now he was heading back into the kitchen. She could get used to this.

….

"He's starting to smile and make faces a lot more. Getting to be a lot more fun." Olivia held Fin's phone, swiping through the most recent photographs of his grandson as Fin narrated. "Alejandro and Ken, it's amazing, they're naturals. I'm always holdin' the kid like he's gonna break."

"Have you been babysitting at all?"

"A few times, but the kid slept most of it. It'll be different once he starts crawling and running around."

Olivia realized she was looping through the same pictures and handed the phone back to Fin. He was lounging on her sofa on this late Friday afternoon. He and Carisi were on duty over the weekend so the mothers could enjoy their special day uninterrupted.

"Whatcha got goin' on this weekend, Liv?"

Olivia noticed several texts arrive, all from Sarah.

 _I'm leaving the office now._

 _See you in 15._

 _Wait, maybe 20, somebody just came in to my office._

 _Ok, he's gone now. 15._

"Well, in fifteen minutes I'm meeting my stepdaughter for drinks. Tomorrow, hopefully we're just hanging out, and Sunday we'll see Amaro and his family and Ed's mom."

" _Ed_."

"Yes," Olivia replied firmly, " _Ed_."

"I can't get over it, Liv. But I'm glad you're so happy."

"You _still_ can't get over it?" Olivia asked, an incredulous look on her face, "It's been over a year since you found out. We're _married_. You were at the wedding. You've been to our _home_. Had drinks with us."

Fin shrugged, "I know how much he loves you. That's easy to see…but, to me? He's Tucker, man, ball bustin' Tucker."

"He's not even in IAB anymore." Olivia hated to point out the obvious, but Fin needed some help letting go of the past.

"Yeah," Fin snickered, "Now he's a hero hostage negotiator."

Ed hated the "hero" label, but Fin was right. Captain Tucker had been mentioned and praised in several newspaper articles since he'd rejoined the Hostage Negotiation Team. Olivia was immensely proud, and Ed tried to be humble about it, but she could tell he, too, got some satisfaction from all the positive attention. It was nice to be the good guy for a change.

"Don't say that to him," Olivia warned good-naturedly as she gathered her things. "Keep me in the loop this weekend. Be nice to Carisi."

Fin smiled, "Make sure you remember this when you're signing off on annual reviews. A weekend with Carisi? _That's_ worth a pay bump or somethin'."

Olivia grinned back at him, "Remind me in December."

….

Sarah seemed more jovial than she'd been in recent weeks which made Olivia feel better. Adjusting to the demands of her new job, facing a divorce, and working through her hostility towards her mother had stressed Sarah almost to her breaking point and it was obvious to everyone close to her.

Even Noah, after last Sunday's breakfast, remarked to his parents, "Sarah mad today."

Now, Sarah announced she'd finally gotten a handle on her job and settled in with her team, and the uncontested divorce was in the hands of the magistrate court and would be finalized in the coming weeks.

"So, let's celebrate," she said, already starting to slur her words. She ordered two shots. Jägermeister for her, Jameson's for Olivia.

"Last one, Sare," Olivia said, trying not to sound too motherly, "Your Dad's getting Noah, but I can't go home too loopy. And…are you coming over for dinner tonight?"

"Lemme see what Brookey's doing," she replied and typed a text. "Some people from my office were going, uh, somewhere, shit, I don't remember, but I don't like hanging out with them. They're so… _pretentious_. Oh, that was fast, Brookey, she's at home, not doing anything, you don't mind if we join you?"

"Of course not."

"I wonder why she's not with Sonny."

"He's working."

" _Oh_ ," Sarah said; she often forgot about the connection between Carisi and Olivia, "That's right. Does he…ever say anything to you about her?"

"Not really."

"Does he know you know?"

"Yes."

Sarah grinned wryly, "So he could end up being your step-son-in-law."

"I'm not sure we need to think about _that_ yet."

"I don't know," Sarah replied mysteriously, "It's getting serious…I think."

Olivia inched closer to Sarah and went into gossip mode, " _Serious_?"

"He may or may not have spent the past couple of nights at our apartment."

" _Really_?"

Sarah giggled, "And, last night, he musta been out fighting crime late 'cuz I didn't hear him come in but sure enough he was there making coffee this morning." Olivia's eyes widened. " _Without a shirt on_ ," Sarah added, barely able to contain her glee.

Olivia responded only with a breathy, "Wow."

"So," Sarah collected herself, "Are we going to pretend she's poor single old Brookey when we see her later or are we going to make her spill it?"

"Let's let her tell us," Olivia suggested. "I'm not sure how your Dad feels about all this."

"He loves Sonny."

"He likes him a lot," Olivia admitted. The day Sonny helped Ed install the office shelves the two of them spent most of the afternoon admiring their work, drinking beer, and chatting like the oldest and best of friends. "But he's still very protective of his little girls."

Sarah rolled her eyes, "He's such a cop. And a _Dad_. And…doesn't it drive you nuts that he's _so_ ," Sarah tried to imitate his gruff voice, " _Don't fuck with my family_?"

"Actually, no," Olivia said with a pleasant smile, "I like it."

Sarah lovingly put her head on Olivia's shoulder, "You two. _Ugh_. So in love. You put the rest of us to shame."

…

"Two, Brookey! You pop two!"

Brooke moved her peg and counted aloud. "One. Two. There. Your turn, No."

Noah pressed the clear plastic dome on the Trouble game. "FIVE! I get five! I winned!"

Brooke patiently explained that he was not yet the winner. "Five means you have to move your peg five times. Just like I just moved mine two. You don't win until you get your pegs here." She pointed to the finish line.

"Five more den TWO!" Noah protested.

"It is, buddy, but that's not the game. You have to get your pegs around the board and _here_ to win."

Noah scrunched up his face.

Sarah walked by and mussed his hair, "Noey, you're still beating her. Brookey sucks at this game."

" _Sarah_ ," Ed chastised her from the couch, "Stop saying that around him. We don't need him going to day care saying people _suck_."

"Sorry," Sarah said, not sounding particularly remorseful, "But I'm sure he hears worse at school."

"He's three," Brooke retorted, "Not thirteen."

"Hey!" Sarah said brightly, "Let's do one of those age progression thingies and see what Noah'll look like at thirteen."

"Let's not," Olivia said, "I don't want to think about him being a teenager."

Sarah danced around the space between the dining table and the living area before flopping on the couch in the two inches or so of room between Olivia and Ed. "You're right. I'll stick with face swapping with him."

Ed moved over, closer to the armrest, "There are other places to sit, ya know."

Sarah ignored the comment. "Are we watching a movie or something?"

"We playin' a _game_ , Sarah," Noah pointed out.

"You're kinda sassy tonight, Noey Boey," She replied.

"You sassy! SASSY SARE BEAR!"

Brooke popped the dome again and cracked up, "Good one, No. That's right. Sassy Sare Bear."

Sarah got up, went over and scooped Noah from his booster seat, and flipped him upside down. "Listen, mister, you better be nice," she blew a strawberry on his exposed belly, "Or the next time we do math, we're doing it with _carrots_."

"IdonlikecarrotsSarah," Noah rambled through giggles. "We do Oreo maff!"

Sarah righted him and kissed his cheek. "That's right, Noey Boey, and we will forever do Oreo math. Right now, though, you continue beating Brookey at trouble and I shall measure a few more ounces of Chardonnay." Sarah trotted to the kitchen and refilled her glass. "Livvie, there's a little left, you want a refill?"

"Sure."

"Daddy?"

"I'll have another one."

Sarah inspected the unfamiliar bottle, the contents of which Ed was drinking, "What _is_ this?"

"Carisi brought it over," Ed answered, "It's, uh, the first ever whiskey distilled in Italy or somethin' like that."

" _Carisi_ brought it over?" Sarah asked, intrigued. She bumped Brooke on her way to deliver the drinks. "What was _he_ doing here?"

"Installing shelves."

" _Ahhhh_. Interesting."

Ed took a sip, "Why's it interesting?"

"Oh, no reason in particular."

"Shutup, Sarah," Brooke muttered.

"SHUBBUP, SARAH!" Noah aped.

" _Noah_ , we don't say shut-up," Olivia reprimanded him.

"It would help if _none_ of us said shut up," Ed said, craning his neck to glare at Brooke.

"Now we're ALL saying shut up!" Sarah said, laughing.

"EVVYBUDDY SHUBBUP!" Noah shouted.

It took several minutes for everyone to calm down and wipe away laughter-induced tears. Sarah next proposed they have a dance party, but not even Noah, who was still intent on beating Brooke at Trouble, was interested in that idea.

"Well," Sarah said curtly, "I'll just go inspect these Irish-Italian-installed shelves." She let herself in to the office and loudly commented on the design. "Verrrry niiiiice." She knocked. "And sturdy. Yep, love it. And it creates so much space in here. Good thing, too, because Big Brown takes up a lot of room."

They heard the thud of Sarah hitting the cushions.

Out in the living room, Olivia finished her wine, yawned, and stretched out with her head propped against a throw pillow and Ed's thigh. "Noah, after you finish your game it's time for bed, sweet boy."

"I not going to bed. I playin' da game."

"No, remember what we said?" Brooke coaxed, "We have to sleep for our brain to get some rest and stay smart."

"Brain not tired. And Noah not tired."

Brooke popped the dome, moved her pegs, and slid the board within his reach. "You might be tired after all this winning."

Noah moved another peg into the finish line. "Dat's anovver red one!"

"Yep," Brooke replied, "One more and you win."

Noah sat up eagerly, propped on his forearms, and watched Brooke take her turn. "I winned and da brain still not tired, Brookey."

"Hmmm," she said, "That's strange. Brains are supposed to be tired after winning _and_ they should also be tired on Friday night."

"Uh-uh," Noah objected, "Fun Friday mean brains not tired."

Brooke laughed, "Who said _Fun Friday_?"

"Sare Bear."

"And who taught you to say _Sare Bear_?"

"Gamma Caraline. Dats what she call Sarah."

"Do you think Grandma Caroline's a little crazy?"

"No, she not cazy, she nice."

Brooke took another turn, "She _is_ nice, but she gives you anything you want, doesn't she?"

"Uh-huh." Noah replied casually. Most people in his life did give him anything he wanted, so it really was no big deal that Caroline followed suit.

"Did you get her something for Mother's Day?"

"I drawed a picture and we getted her…" Noah trailed off, and looked to Ed to fill in the blank.

"We got her a gift certificate to her nail place."

"Oh, she'll love that," Brooke said. "Whatdja get mommy?"

Noah giggled and whispered, "Itsa suppprizzzze!"

Brooke covered her mouth, "Oh, sorry!"

"I picked it out. Daddy paid da money for it wiff da card."

"Shhhh," Brooke said, predicting an inadvertent reveal, "Don't say anything else. I'll see it on Mother's Day when we meet up at Grandma's."

Noah popped the dome.

"Oooooo! Noah, you got six. That's what ya needed! You win!"

"I WINNED!"

Brooke put Noah on the floor so he could dance around and celebrate his victory. She watched, laughing to herself. Weary of playing, she lied to her little brother. He did roll a six, but he actually needed four.

"Lemme go pry Sarah from Big Brown," Brooke said, noticing both her father and Olivia were dozing off. "Unless you two want to keep her for another night?"

"Pass," Ed hissed. He got up, gently lifting and then placing Olivia's head back on the pillow. "Come on, bud, PJs, story, and bed."

" _Three_ stories," Noah insisted.

"Two."

"Uh-uh," Noah said, his voice growing fainter as they walked down the hall to his bedroom, "Wiff Daddy it's—One. Two. THREE!"

…

Ed turned off most of the lights and the television. The last task was to cajole Olivia from her spot on the couch.

"Liv? C'mon to bed."

She held out her arms and he pulled her up. "That was easy," he remarked.

"You make it seem like I'm difficult."

"You're a little difficult when you're sleepy."

She acknowledged his point, "I know."

Ed closed the bedroom door and immediately latched on to her lips. "I love our family," he whispered, "But I love it when we're alone."

"You can kiss me in front of our family," she said.

"Not like this." He delved deeply into her mouth and she kissed back while trying not to laugh. "And I can't do this." He expertly removed everything she was wearing in seconds, leaving the garments in one heap on the floor. " _Damn_." He gasped as if it were the first time he'd seen her naked.

She dove on the bed. "Captain, this is not fair. Take off _your_ clothes."

"Yes ma'am."

Ed stripped and jumped into bed with his wife. Playful, light-hearted sex ensued; they jostled for position, teased and relented, flattered and praised, until they were at the point where words were no longer possible and the room echoed with the amorous sounds of two lovers experiencing the heights of erotic pleasure.

Olivia collapsed on top of him, sticky, sweaty, still breathing heavily, and they gazed into each other's eyes. Ed's lips formed into his classic, cocky smirk, her favorite expression—she was so in love with this man, and that love kept getting bigger, more complex, more beautiful, more precious, and it was no longer overwhelming or difficult to comprehend or something she felt she didn't deserve.

It was all she ever wanted. No, this new life of hers, theirs, was _more_ than she'd ever wanted, and she'd finally come to the point where she no longer scrutinized it for defects or irregularities.

Nope.

The rest of their lives were for enjoyment purposes only.

…

 _ **#Tuckson**_


	19. Chapter 19

_Annnnnnnnd, we're back! Sorry for the lag in updates but I was UNDER THE GUN with Truce, there, people!_

 _ **May 2017, Mother's Day Weekend**_

Olivia stepped out of the elevator, twisting and stretching her upper body, elated with her decision to create a four-day weekend by taking a couple of vacation days prior to Mother's Day. It had been a busy week for both her and Ed, and Lucy, Brooke, and Sarah juggled Noah's care. Yesterday, Lucy retrieved him from day care, Brooke relieved her in the early evening, and Sarah took the late shift, arriving at the apartment in time to put him to bed. Olivia returned home to find both her and Noah wedged side by side in his toddler bed. They'd fallen asleep watching a movie on the iPad, and the device had tumbled to the floor beside them. Sarah ended up crashing on the sofa in the office, too tired to go home. Ed grumbled at this, but Olivia didn't mind. She liked having the family at the apartment.

She expected to see Ed and Noah on the couch when she entered, but the living room was dark and the under-cabinet lighting cast the only light across the open space-a muted, purplish hue.

A series of shuffles and then a few dull thuds echoed from the master bedroom, and Olivia made her way back there, but approached stealthily to observe Ed and Noah before revealing her presence.

"How's this look, bud?"

"Good, Daddy."

"Are you looking?"

"No, Daddy. I walk in your BIG SHOES!"

Noah traipsed around the room in a pair of Ed's wingtips. Occasionally, he fell good-naturedly, picked himself up, and continued his path. The bulky footwear required total concentration; he had no spare focus to tell Ed whether or not the framed artwork he was hanging was straight.

Noah slogged to the closet. Olivia heard him clomp into the bathroom and then emerge seconds later, walking more easily now, wearing one of Ed's ties and dragging a blazer he must have set aside for dry cleaning because, ordinarily, Ed was meticulous about hanging his clean jackets.

"I go to police." Noah looked himself up and down. "Have da shoes, an' tie, and' this!" It took some effort for him to raise the blazer. "Whassis called, Daddy?"

Ed answered without taking his eyes off the frame. It was one of his—a vintage print of Times Square near the turn-of-the-century. "A blazer. Or, a jacket."

"Jacket for rain," Noah objected.

"Not always."

Noah scrunched up his face and pronounced, "Bwazer."

"You have blazers, bud," Ed said, "You wore one when Mommy and I got married and you wore one when you went to Lion King with Sarah and Brookey."

"She _Sare Bear_."

Ed smiled. "Alright, Sare _Bear_." Ever since Noah spent a day with Caroline and the girls, he'd used Sarah's nickname without hesitation and refused to be corrected.

Noah dropped the blazer. "I go get mine," he said intently, "And da badge. I need police badge, too." He attempted to run for the door and make his way to his own bedroom, but the large shoes stymied him. "Ugh," he groaned, and stepped out of the shoes, "Don't move these, Daddy."

"Kay, bud."

"MOMMY!"

Noah sprinted into Olivia's arms and nearly choked her with the hug. "I miss-ded you!"

"I missed you, too, sweet, boy!"

Noah frowned and said in a pouty voice, "You be at police."

"Yes, but I'm here now. And I'm not going to police for four whole days."

Noah held out a hand and counted his fingers. "One. Two. Free. Four." Then he frowned again, "But dey call you."

"Not for four whole days."

Ed joined them in the hall. He kissed Olivia's cheek and lingered at her ear for a split second, "Hello, my love," he said.

"Hello, my love!" Noah parroted.

Ed wrapped his arms around both of them. "This weekend is all about Mommy. She gets anything she wants."

Noah studied her face seriously and nodded in agreement.

"Except," Ed said, "If she wanted her husband at home tomorrow, she, uh, may be a little disappointed?"

"What's going on?" Olivia walked them back into the bedroom, gently tossed Noah on the bed, and collapsed on her back beside him.

"DA called. They caught somethin' wanted to run the preliminaries by me," Ed replied, hoping she wouldn't be annoyed with him not consulting her, "It's just for the morning. Sorry, I shoulda checked with you first."

Unbothered, Olivia waved her hand in the air, "We'll probably still be in our sweats when you get home." She sat up and looked around the room. It was in its typical state of disarray. Clothes covered the easy chair and ottoman, shoes, bags, and other random items were strewn around the floor; Ed and Olivia managed to keep the entire apartment tidy except for their bedroom and it was becoming a running joke between them. "So, what exactly were you two doing?"

"Hangin' a few things that have been sitting in the closet." Ed pointed at the Times Square print, "This ok here?"

"Perfect. I didn't realize how bare these walls were."

"Yeah, we may even have to buy a few more things."

Olivia made a little noise at the suggestion but said nothing further.

"Hey, No, why don't you go pick out your books, bud?" Ed suggested, "And get the PJs you wanna wear. Put 'em on your bed."

"Kay, Daddy," Noah clambered off the bed and trotted to his room.

Taking advantage of the manufactured alone time, Ed climbed on top of Olivia, kissed her a few times, and gazed into her eyes. "How'd your day go?" He asked, oozing with sincerity.

"It was fine."

Ed furrowed his brow. He hated when she used the word "fine."

She grinned, "We didn't catch anything major. I was in the office the whole day."

" _Okaaay_ ," he cooed doubtfully and continued planting kisses on her face and neck. "God, I want you."

Olivia put her hands on his chest, "Let's get the boy in bed. Then I'm all yours."

….

Olivia stepped out of the shower, dried off, and put on a t-shirt and shorts. Ed graciously left a cup of coffee for her on the counter, and she took it to the bed, planning to sip and flip through a magazine, when she noticed she'd missed several calls and texts, all from Brooke. Immediately believing something was wrong, she called her back.

"Olivia," Brooke answered breathlessly, "Thank God. I need a huge favor. I mean, _huge_."

Relieved she only needed a favor, Olivia let out the breath she'd been holding. "Sure, Brooke, what is it?"

"We had one of our career day volunteers cancel at the last minute. Is there any way you can come in and talk to a classroom full of middle school kids this afternoon? For, like, thirty minutes? I know it's your day off and I know—"

"No problem," Olivia interjected, "I'm happy to do it…but…I'm going to have to bring Noah. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind bringing him _here_." Brooke was finishing her last year teaching in the rough South Bronx school.

"Not at all."

" _Thank you_ ," Brooke gushed, sounding a lot like Sarah, "You're the best. Um…twelve-thirty?"

Olivia said that was fine and she went to go check on Noah who was suspiciously quiet. Her heart melted when she discovered him cuddled in his bean bag with the iPad, not playing a game but rather playing with a drawing app.

"Whatcha doing, Noah?"

"I drawing Ma'hattan."

"Oh, wow," Olivia purred, "Tell me when you're done so we can save it, okay?"

"Kay," Noah replied, sounding like he wanted his mother to leave him to his artwork.

"We're going to Brookey's school later."

He turned towards her with wide eyes, "I go to school wiff da big kids?"

"Well, yeah, for a little while. Mommy's going to tell them about being a police officer."

"I bring da badge," Noah said matter-of-factly, "I police, too."

"Okay sweet boy. Mommy's going to make breakfast. You okay here?"

"Uh-huh. I drawin' _Ma'hattan_."

Olivia smiled and left the room.

….

Captain Ed Tucker didn't have much to do that morning. After meeting with the ADA, he reviewed and put the finishing touches on a few reports, sifted through email, but was otherwise idle and passed the time watching the news and drinking coffee. Towards the end of his shift, Cole stopped by to say hello, and Tucker greeted his old partner warmly, happy to have someone to converse with even if it was only for a few minutes.

"What brings you here, Draper?" Tucker asked, standing to shake his hand.

"The latest in NYPD corruption," Cole replied casually. "How're things?"

"Great. Few more hours here and then…Mother's Day."

Cole smiled, "Big plans?"

"Just seeing my mother and we'll stop by to see Amaro. He's in town."

"She still keeps in touch with him?"

"Yeah, well, mostly his mother. She helped out a lot when Noah was a baby."

Cole examined Ed's framed photographs; there were significantly more than there had been when he was at Internal Affairs. "The boy's sure getting big. What is he now? Four?"

"He'll be four in November."

"And your girls?" Cole picked up a picture of the entire family taken at the housewarming party, "They doing okay?"

"Yep," Tucker said, "Younger one's back here now. Older one's getting a new job thank God."

"That the one who teaches in Mott Haven?"

"Yeah," Ed grumbled, "The end of the year cannot come soon enough."

"Bless her."

"I'll tell her that."

Cole remembered Ed's extravagant Valentine's Day and inquired about Olivia's Mother's Day gift. Ed smirked.

"It's at the girls' apartment. Couldn't find a decent hiding place at home."

"I'm tellin' you, Tucker, you gotta save some of these ideas."

Ed just sat back in his chair with a cocky smirk and laced his fingers behind his head. Cole shook his head in amusement on his way out.

"Let's get a drink sometime soon," he suggested.

"Yeah, yeah…early next week?"

"Sounds good."

…

Olivia checked in with the cagey secretary at Brooke's school. The elderly lady eyed her badge and gun suspiciously and her eyes moved back and forth between her waist and Noah, who had wrapped his arms around his mother's leg.

"Just a minute," she said tersely, "The resource officer's on his way up." Changing her tone to a sweet, kind voice, she greeted Noah, "Hi there, sweetheart."

Noah smiled shyly and gave her a little wave.

"Can you say hello, sweet boy?" Olivia mussed his hair.

"Hi," Noah said in a barely audible whisper.

The school's uniformed officer appeared and held out his hand, "Lieutenant Benson, good to have you here."

"You know her?" The secretary asked, reverting back to unfriendliness.

"I know of her. One of Manhattan's finest commanding officers from what I've heard. Miss Tucker said you were coming today. Thanks for helping us out at the last minute."

"My pleasure," Olivia said, "I hope nobody minds me bringing my assistant." She nodded at Noah.

The officer bent down to his level, "Hey, big guy."

Feeling more comfortable, Noah stuck his waist out, revealing his miniature replica badge.

"Whoa! You have a shield? Wow. I didn't know they were swearing in officers so young! They do things differently in Manhattan, I guess."

"I drawed Ma'hattan," Noah whispered.

"Oh yeah?" The officer groaned as he stood up straight and faced Olivia again. "I'll take you back to the classroom." Once they were out of the secretary's earshot, he muttered, "Don't mind Miss Nellie…she's a little overprotective of everybody here."

They arrived at Brooke's classroom, and the students immediately erupted into giggles because Noah shouted "BROOKEY" and dashed into her arms.

"Hi, No!" She exclaimed, wrapping him in a hug and giving him a kiss, "Meet my class!" Noah laid his head shyly on Brooke's shoulder. "C'mon, say hi!"

Olivia stood off to the side, observing, as Brooke gently turned him to face the thirty or so students. Noah offered a quiet "hi," and, apparently getting more comfortable, wiggled to get down. In a few minutes he was roaming around her bulky teacher's desk, touching a few knickknacks and looking at her pictures.

"That me!" he exclaimed to the delight of the students. He grabbed the frame and held it out, "That me and Brookey at da beach!"

Olivia laughed as students whispered to one another.

"He called her _Brookey_."

"I always wondered who that kid was."

One of the students directed his attention to Olivia, "Yo, she gotta gun."

"Of course she does, stupid. She's a cop."

Brooke's classroom featured only two narrow windows, but she decorated the room with an attractive mixture of academic posters and famous prints from Picasso, Monet, and van Gogh. Her students were seated in six straight rows and they wore the school's khaki and burgundy uniform rather than street clothes. When she'd messaged Ed earlier about her impromptu mission, he balked slightly at her taking Noah. Sarah wasn't the only one with a hyper-negative view of Brooke's South Bronx kids; Ed, too, operated under the assumption that his daughter was constantly engaging in battle with each passing day. However, the class showed impeccable manners and once Noah really got warmed up, he ran up and down the aisles, giving high fives, and stopping to listen as a few students showed him their work.

"Where da crans?" He asked one student.

"We have colored pencils."

"Yeah, Noah, why don't you color a picture for the class while Mommy talks?" Olivia suggested. Noah nodded, Brooke set him up at a vacant desk, and Olivia continued with her presentation. Even though many students were all too familiar with the law, police, and the court system, they listened intently to Olivia's words. Hearing a police officer speak to them so calmly and soothingly shocked them into an awed silence. When she wrapped up and asked if there were any questions, only one student raised his hand.

"I don't have a question," he said, "But you should come back again."

"And bring your son!" Another exclaimed.

Noah climbed out of the desk and ran forward with his drawing. "Here ya go, Brookey! A picture for da big kids!"

"Wow, No! It's great! Tell us about it!"

"Dis me. Dis Mommy. Dere you are. And then all the BIG KIDS!"

Noah had exaggerated big kids both in his speech and in the art. The kids were huge and he'd portrayed himself in miniature. The middle schoolers politely thanked him for the drawing and Brooke tacked it above her desk. She hugged Olivia.

"Thanks so much. You saved the day."

"Anytime," Olivia said, "C'mon, sweetie," she called to Noah, "let's go."

Noah pouted. "I stay here?"

"No, we're going to meet Daddy."

His eyes brightened and he addressed the class once more, "Daddy police, too!"

"Oh, man, Miss Tucker, you gotta bring this kid back!"

Noah bounded over to Olivia, "Lessgo to Daddy!"

"Say goodbye to the class."

"Bye guys!" Noah said as if he were bidding farewell to his oldest and dearest friends.

"Bye Noah!"

…

Noah skipped alongside his mother, chattering away about meeting Brooke's class. He sat at the big kid desk and used big kid colored pencils and the big kids wanted to see his badge and the big kids liked his police shirt. Olivia dressed him casually in khaki shorts and a plaid short-sleeved oxford, unbuttoned, over a gray NYPD shirt. He surprised her by going along with the attire because lately he'd once again been favoring his ties.

"Mommy, we goin' home?"

"No, we're going to meet Daddy for a snack."

"At da pub?"

Olivia glanced down at her son and rolled her eyes at how easily _da pub_ flew out of his mouth. "Yes, at the pub."

"We get da boof by da window."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh," Noah said proudly, raising his knees higher, "Daddy _always_ get it."

"That Daddy," Olivia murmured.

"Daddy say da boof our spot."

"I know."

"Just for da Tuckers!"

Olivia squeezed her son's hand and hoped the booth was, indeed, free or else she would have one disgruntled three-year-old on her hands.

"Are you excited to see Grandma Caroline and Nick and Zara this weekend?"

"Uh-huh. We give Gamma the pesent?"

"Yep."

"And Mommy get a pesent, too!"

"You already gave me the rock, and I love it so much."

"Sisters say you get lotsa pesents."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, don't tell me what the presents are."

"Sare bear say I ZIP IT 'bout Muvvers Day." Noah ran his forefinger and thumb across his lips.

Olivia laughed but was a little bittersweet about missing the conversations Noah had with other people in his life. Of course, it was impossible to witness every moment, but Noah soaked up information with sponge-like acuity and she would've loved to be a fly on the wall when he was with Sarah and Brooke.

When they came within sight of the pub, Noah tried to break free. "Noah," Olivia said sharply, "Stay with me. No running. This is a busy street."

"But I see Daddy!" Noah dragged her the rest of the way. Sure enough, Ed beamed and waved from the window booth.

Noah bounced up to the table and eagerly climbed in next to his Daddy for a quick snuggle. Ed kissed his head. "Hey, bud! How was Brookey's school?"

"Da big kids likeded me!"

"They were nice?" Ed asked warily.

"Uh-huh."

Olivia slid in across from them and grinned at her two boys. Noah fussed with his badge which was uncomfortable poking him. Ed took it off and Noah warned, "Don't lose it."

"Okay, pal." He looked with smiling eyes at his wife, "How'd it go for you?"

"Good," Olivia replied, "But the kids were way more interested in Noah." She relayed the story about the picture and the high fives and the general banter. "You got out of there on time I see."

"Yeah, slow day." He smirked and leaned far over the table. "C'mere."

She obliged with a quick peck.

"That's all?" He complained.

Olivia glanced poignantly around the semi-crowded establishment and then at Noah, "For _now_ ," she said.

"Alright," Tucker replied, still pouting a little. "You hungry bud?"

"I have tater tots?"

"Yeah, we'll get ya some tater tots."

Noah hugged Ed's arm, "Thank you, Daddy."

Olivia grinned uncontrollably at them and Ed raised his eyebrows. "What?" He asked innocently.

"He has you absolutely wrapped around his finger."

He looked down at his son adoringly and mused, "No question about that."

…..

"Brooke, for fuck's sake, go with Sonny this weekend." Sarah perched herself on a barstool and gripped her wine glass as if it were in danger of being wrested from her at any minute.

The older sister lounged on the couch and stared at her phone with furrowed brow. Carisi had just texted her. He had been called in to work and had to cancel their date, but did Brooke want to join him for brunch at his Mother's House on Sunday morning?

"I _have_ to go to Mom's," Brooke countered.

"No you don't. I'm not going."

"That's your decision. It would be really wrong for me not to go. And," Brooke tossed the phone on a pile of ungraded papers, "Don't you think it's a little weird that he has to honestly cancel a date and then, to make up for it, asks me to _meet his family_?"

Sarah shrugged, "Maybe he's just trying to kick it up a notch."

Brooke let out an exasperated breath. "Mother's Day is kicking it up a notch? I would prefer a weekend away somewhere…or…"

Sarah grinned devilishly and slowly made her way to Brooke's side, "Or… _whaaat_?"

"I don't know…something, spontaneous."

"You want romance."

"Who doesn't?"

"Well, if Mr. Sonny Carisi is lacking in that department, you, sister, have to lead the way."

Brooke narrowed her eyes but sat up with curiosity. "What exactly do you mean?"

Overjoyed at Brooke's conundrum, a pleasant expression crossed Sarah's face as she went through suggestions. "Well, we could getcha some better lingerie. You're so _boring_ in that department."

Brooke objected, "I _hate_ that stuff."

"Maybe you could take him somewhere?"

"Nah. He may not be ready for it."

Sarah shot to her feet. "I know!"

"What?"

"Come with me." Sarah motioned for her to follow and led the way to her bedroom where she flipped through music on one of her several iPods and then plugged it into her speakers. The sultry sounds of instrumental hip-hop filled the room and Sarah began sashaying around the room.

"Oh, no," Brooke muttered slowly.

"Oh, yes," Sarah retorted, grinning, "A little striptease for Sonny-boy. Lap dance. The whole package. For extra fun, you could provide some singles."

"No fucking way," Brooke said, "I don't think…he's even been to a real strip club."

"Oh come on, Brookey," Sarah froze, incredulous, "Grow up and get real. Every red-blooded American man has been to a strip club."

"Dad?"

"Of course."

Brooke shook her head in disagreement.

Sarah began dancing again and piled laundry on a chair and packed it tightly so it sort of resembled a person. "C'mon," she cajoled, "I'll teach you some moves. I'm not actually stripping…just the routine. You can fling your clothes off as you see fit or have him do it." Sarah narrated as she moved, "Walk a few steps, then poke your hips like this, _at him_ , but then spin away, twirl, ya know. A little tease before ya go in for the kill." Sarah performed these moves and then straddled her clothes, threw her head back, and—

"Oh fuck."

"Hello, girls." Ed, partly horrified and partly amused, stood in the doorway.

" _Daddy_ ," Sarah gasped.

A mortified but mostly innocent Brooke buried her head in her hands and choked back embarrassed laughter.

"Whatcha doin?"

Sarah dashed over and turned off the speaker, "Well, if you must know, I'm running through some moves for Brooke. She needs some, uh, variety in her—"

Knowing Sarah would deflect any awkwardness, Brooke quickly interjected, "My _sister_ seems to think that the way to a man's heart is to act like a working girl."

" _Working girl_?" Sarah spat out, "How old are you? Ninety? You sound like Grandma."

Ed stared blankly at his bantering daughters for a few more seconds before losing his patience, "Well, whatever's going on…I need the painting so I can wrap it. I was gonna wrap it here, but if you're busy…"

"Daddy, don't be silly," Sarah admonished him with a playful slap, "We'll help you. Actually, _I'll_ do it. Everyone knows I'm the best at wrapping."

Brooke went to the hall closet and produced the framed artwork. Olivia's Mother's Day gift initially stymied Ed…and Noah, too. Since they'd been serious, Olivia had been the recipient of every piece of jewelry imaginable, and she didn't even wear much of it on a daily basis. They weren't due for a major vacation, and Ed hated giving impersonal gift cards.

He got the idea for this gift on one cold and rainy February morning. Noah was seated on top of the kitchen island, busily coloring a picture. When asked what he was drawing, he replied it was Paris. Ed was surprised he remembered the trip that had happened almost a year ago, but then he realized Noah was taking inspiration from a Paris picture that had been affixed to the refrigerator with a magnet. He immediately went to their Paris album and then flipped through the iPad, looking for the perfect picture. There were so many of the three of them. Finally, he found it. He, Olivia, and Noah stood together on a bridge overlooking the Seine with the lovely spring cityscape in the background. Ed took the photo to an artist who specialized in creating oil paintings from photographs. Olivia was sure to love the Monet-esque creation and Ed though it would be a perfect addition to their bedroom.

Sarah dragged her gift-wrapping items from another closet. Ed and Brooke perched themselves on the barstools as Sarah used the island to carefully wrap the bulky item.

"Daddy, let me ask you a question, _for a friend_ ," Sarah said, keeping her eyes fixed on her task.

A look of dread crossed Ed's face, "What's that?"

"How long did it take you and Livvie to, ya know, click?"

Brooke threw her hands up, "Sare? What the hell? Dad doesn't want to tell you that!"

"Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't mean in the bedroom."

Ed interjected, "I thought you meant in the bedroom."

"Well, now that the subject is out there…" Sarah trailed off and glanced up inquisitively.

"Dad, don't listen to her," Brooke implored.

"What's goin' on?" He asked, thinking he'd regret it later.

"Brookey and Sonny are in a rut."

"A rut?"

"We're not in a rut," Brooke insisted, "We just…his job, my job, we're not together enough. It's hard—"

"To get into the groove, so to speak," Sarah finished for her.

Ed went for an innocuous but meaningful response, "We clicked once we trusted each other."

"Ah-ha!" Sarah exclaimed, "There we have it. The answer to love and happiness forever."

"See, Sarah," Brooke said, "I don't need pole dancing lessons after all."

"But you still have to… _want_ each other," Sarah retorted. "Right, Daddy?"

Ed massaged his forehead and felt his cheeks reddening. "Yeah, that certainly helps," he admitted shyly.

The three of them shared an awkward silent moment. Well, it was awkward for Brooke and Ed. Sarah, meanwhile, hummed an upbeat tune to herself as she put the finishing touches on Olivia's Mother's Day present.

….

#Tuckson

#NotIfICanHelpIt


	20. Chapter 20

**Just a reminder that the last chapter ended with Sarah wrapping Olivia's Mother's Day gift…**

"Alright," Sarah reported with finality, "I didn't wrap it all the way around the back so you can still hang it. You know, hang it on the wall like this?"

"Oh, okay," Ed said, taking a few seconds to comprehend what she had in mind. "Hopefully she'll notice it."

Brooke screwed up her face, "You don't think she'd notice a gigantic wrapped painting hanging on the wall in a previously blank space?"

The devilish smile returned to Sarah's face, "I know what he's thinking."

" _What_?" Ed challenged.

"Oh nothing." Sarah took the painting from the island and propped it against the wall. She opened and closed cabinets and finally pulled out a bottle of Stoli, tonic, and three tumblers which she quickly filled with ice. "Cocktail, anyone?"

"Yeah, sure," Ed said.

"What are you doing tonight, Dad?" Brooke asked.

"Liv's at swimming lessons with Noah now. Then we'll probably just do the typical Friday night—pizza and hanging out. What are you two up to?"

"Other than soft-core porn?" Brooke scoffed.

Sarah took up a stool on the opposite side of the island and leaned forward on her elbows, "Daddy, seriously, have you been to a strip club _ever in your life_?"

"Yes."

"See, Brooke? I told you. All men do this."

"I really can't imagine Sonny at one."

Ed shook his head, amused but slightly uncomfortable discussing this topic with his daughters. "He's probably gone to one before," he said, almost sounding disappointed to have to reveal his assumption. "At least for a bachelor party or somethin' like that."

"That's what I'm trying to tell her," Sarah said, "And, on a related note, that he wouldn't mind a little—"

Ed held up a hand before she could go any further, "That's enough."

" _Thank you_ ," Brooke said.

"Oh you two. You're so…"

"Normal?" Brooke asked.

"No, you're all buttoned up and straight laced, except," Sarah bit a fingernail as she mused, "Daddy's just acting like this 'cause it's us." Ed glared at Sarah, but she just smiled back at him knowing her grin always disarmed her father. "Ok, ok, subject change. Brooke is going with Sonny on Mother's Day, just so you know."

"I am _not_."

"Sure you are. You just don't know it yet. Think about it. He asked you to a _family_ thing. That's serious."

"If neither one of us goes to Mom's, it'll be bad."

Ed sipped his drink silently; he hated talking about his ex-wife, but Sarah didn't let him be a passive observer.

"Dad, tell Brooke she needs to look _forward_ with her life. And that Sonny asking her is a really big deal."

"It is a big deal," he agreed. "But, it's also a big deal to not see your mother."

"She won't care."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "I disagree. Wouldn't you care if your kid lived close and didn't bother to see you on Mother's Day?"

"Not if I had been a coldhearted bitch my whole life."

Sarah loathing her mother was not a secret, but the venomous words nevertheless shocked Brooke and Ed.

"Maybe I'll tell Sonny I'll meet him at his mom's and be a little late." Brooke caved- more to calm Sarah down than anything else. "It might be good for us…for me to meet his family."

"Finally," Sarah huffed, exasperated, "She sees the light! Now. Daddy. You're going to Livvie's friend's then coming to Grandma's right?"

"Right."

"You know what I love almost as much as seeing you and Livvie together?"

"No."

"Seeing Livvie and Grandma together. Or, no, seeing Grandma around Livvie."

"Why's that?"

"Well, first of all, Grandma's like four-eight and ninety pounds so she looks like a little kid next to her. But mostly because I kinda think Grandma's in awe of her, like, totally floored that you're married to her."

Ed laughed sarcastically. "Well, thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I'm not saying she's too good for you."

"Yes you are," Brooke said, also laughing.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Well what did you _mean_?" Ed asked, a playful smirk still on his face, "Cause I agree with Brooke."

Never one to enjoy being outnumbered, Sarah frowned and attempted to reason with them. "Oh, come on. Livvie's freaking drop-dead gorgeous. And nice. And so… _good_. Like, whenever we're around her, there's just…like… _perfection_."

"And I shouldn't be married to a person like that?"

"Daddy. Seriously. Even you have to admit…she changed you. _That's_ what I meant."

Ed's grin transitioned into a look of pleasant resignation as the thought about his wife. "She made it safe for me to love somebody again," he said, flooring his daughters with his sincerity.

Brooke and Sarah exchanged intrigued glances before Sarah collapsed her head to the counter in her predictable swoon. "Omigod, omigod, omigod. That was so sweet. Does she know this?"

Brooke furrowed her brow, "Uh, I think she would know that, Sarah. Duh. Olivia has known Dad for a long time."

"But have you _told_ her that?"

"Of course," Ed answered.

"No wonder," Sarah muttered, "No wonder Jeff and I didn't work out. We never had a conversation that…uh…heartfelt. We just fucked and went out a lot."

" _Sarah_!"

"I'm leaving," Ed announced, shaking his head, "Sare, why don't you bring the painting to our apartment Sunday before you go to Riverdale? We're leaving around one. Then we'll see you at Grandma's later in the afternoon."

"Got it, Daddio."

"Brooke, enjoy your weekend…with, uh, whoever you decide to spend it with."

"Thanks Dad. Love you."

"Love you too," he said then added with an eye roll, " _Both_ of you."

…..

"Swim-MING! Swim-MING! Swimming…" Noah paused his trot around the island and looked up at his mother, "Mommy, how Miss 'Melia say swimming?"

Olivia thought."Say, _yo nado_."

Noah was still chanting "yo nado" when Ed came home.

"Hiya, bud! How was swim class?"

"I made big splashes and swimmed the whole way!"

"The whole way?"

"Across the width of the pool," Olivia clarified.

Ed swooped Noah high above his head then brought him in for a hug. "Wow, Noah, that's great! I'm so proud of you."

Noah put his face directly in front of Ed's. "You powd?"

"Yep. It means I'm so happy to be your Daddy."

Noah giggled, "I know, Daddy. I gonna play soccer, too."

"Oh yeah?"

Olivia slid a small plate of cheese, crackers, and fruit across the island. "A mom cornered me about it today. They need more kids on her son's team and she asked if Noah could join."

"Teams?" Ed couldn't imagine a bunch of three-year-olds actually being a team in the traditional sense.

"Well, she said it's mostly a skill-building thing."

"Great!" Ed said, suddenly excited that one of his kids was going to participate in sports, "When's the first practice?"

Olivia cringed at the short notice, "Tomorrow morning."

"Alright," Ed laughed, "We need to get him some gear then."

"She said it was really informal, he doesn't need—"

Ed was already re-tying his shoes and brought Noah his sneakers. "Put these on, No, we're going to get you some cleats and shin guards." He popped a piece of apple and cheese in his mouth, "We won't be long."

Olivia smiled, found the plastic wrap, and covered the plate. While Noah fumbled with his shoes, Ed made his way around the island and put his hands on his wife's hips. "You wanna join us?"

"No," she replied softly, "Sounds like a guy thing."

Ed gave her a peck on the lips, "Want us to bring back a pizza?"

"Sure."

The second kiss was more passionate, and ended only when Noah tugged on Ed's shirttail. "Daddy! I ready! Lessgo! Stop da kissing!"

Ed was slow to release Olivia, "But I like kissing Mommy."

"Kiss layyyyterrrrr," he begged, still pulling the shirt.

"Ok, bud, let's go. We have to remember to bring back pizza for dinner."

"I 'member. _Lessgo_."

Olivia poured herself a glass of wine and retreated to the sofa, sitting so she could enjoy the view of the Manhattan skyline as it slowly transitioned from its concrete jungle façade to the sparkling city-that-never-sleeps nighttime persona. Happy tears formed in her eyes as she thought about Ed leading Noah through City Sports or wherever they were going. Noah had a Daddy, a devoted, generous, loving Daddy. He also had a family. Everything she'd wanted as a child, she was able to give her son.

….

Ed had to drag Noah in and out of two sporting goods stores before he found one with child-sized soccer equipment small enough for the little boy. The salesman laid out four sets of shin guards, all in different colors, and Noah eyed them excitedly and thoughtfully chewed a fingertip.

"Which ones ya want, bud? Remember, the socks will cover them."

"The geen ones." He answered, pointing to the neon green pair that were so bright Ed had trouble looking directly at them.

"Ok. Let's go get socks and cleats."

Noah ran ahead as if he knew where he was going.

"Stay where I can see ya, No!"

Noah stopped suddenly and Ed thought it was because of the warning, but the little boy veered left down an aisle. Ed caught up and found him gaping in amazement at the wall of footballs and basketballs.

"I want one a those." He said, pointing at nothing in particular.

"Those aren't soccer balls, pal."

"Want dis one!" Noah grabbed a small Nerf football that was expertly placed at his eye level.

"Sure," Ed said, "But let's get ya a soccer ball, too."

"Okay, Daddy."

"But let's get the cleats now. They have spikes on the bottom for good grip."

"Spikes like the stegassrus?"

"Kinda."

"They make me run really fast?"

"Yep."

Noah spent several minutes debating which pair of shoes he liked best. Ed sat on a bench and texted back and forth with Olivia who advised Ed to just choose a pair himself. Rather than take her advice, Ed filmed Noah's selection process and sent it to Olivia who responded with an uncharacteristic _LOL_. Once he had the options narrowed to three, Ed laid out the socks and shin guards.

"Which ones you think will look best with this stuff, No?"

Noah bit his lip and chose the silver pair. "Dese!"

"Alright. Let's pay for everything and get on home."

"An' we get da pizza, Daddy!"

"Oh, yeah, thanks for remindin' me."

"Mommy say get pizza!"

"I know."

Noah was dragging the packaged soccer ball behind him as they made their way to the registers. "We take da ball out, Daddy? I wanna kick it!"

"You'll kick it tomorrow at practice."

"Pac-tis?"

"Yup, you'll have a coach and he'll teach you how to play soccer."

Noah pointed at the Nerf football tucked under Ed's arm. "We take dat ball, too?"

"No, I'll teach you how to throw this one."

That satisfied Noah. "Kay!" He exclaimed cheerfully and skipped ahead. On their way out of the store, laden down with bags, Noah asked another question. "You go to pac-tis wiff me?" There was doubt and hope in the little boy's eyes as he suddenly imagined a scenario with unfamiliar coaches and kids.

Ed mussed his hair. "Of course, bud. Daddy will always be with you."

…..

Olivia slung her left leg around Ed's hips and pulled herself flush with his body as she planted kisses on his neck and face. "You're so good," she purred seductively, "So, so, good, Captain Tucker."

"You're the most perfect woman, Lieutenant Olivia _Tucker_."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you're the most perfect husband," she said, still nipping at his skin, "And the perfect father." She started laughing.

Ed wrestled his arms from the pillows and sheets and held her a few inches away, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. You're perfect."

" _C'mon_."

"Nothing, sorry, I'm ruining the moment."

"No, you're not, what's so funny?"

"I think it's so cute that you bought Noah all that stuff. _And_ the football."

"He needed it, and he asked for the football."

"I think…you kind of like that asked for it, too."

Ed gazed at her, his blue eyes sparkling, "You know what I love about you? I mean…really _love_?"

"What's that?"

He adjusted their bodies and draped himself over her, "You're such a cop," he rasped, pinning her wrists above her head and kissing up and down her arms.

Olivia felt his arousal and lifted her hips into him. " _I'm_ such a cop?"

Ed chuckled. "Yeah. There's no getting anything past you, Olivia Margaret."

"Oh really?"

"Really. You're always one step ahead. You're so… _perceptive_." He was teasing her now, not letting her out of his grip even as he felt her body respond to his. He saw goosebumps form as he kissed her. "Like, you prolly know what I'm gonna do next." He locked eyes with her intently.

"You really want me to answer that?" She half-gasped.

"Yeah, Lieutenant, what's next?"

"Well, I want you," she started to wriggle again and Ed let her wrists go. "So, I think, you're going to _fuck me_ , Captain, because that's all I want right now." She lifted her head to whisper in his ear, "Fuck me, Ed."

He felt her nails on his lower back, urging him on. It wasn't unheard of for Olivia to say _fuck me_ , but it was rare and still took Ed by surprise. By now he understood those words to mean she wanted him to completely take over and be in total control. Aggressively, he parted her legs, keeping one hand on her thigh as he slammed in and out of her. With his other hand he pulled semi-aggressively at her hair and opened his mouth wide against her bare neck. He paused for a split second as she wailed louder than usual, but she commanded him to keep going.

"Harder," she implored, gasping and panting. "Oh. My _Goddddddd_."

"Olivia, I love you," he rasped between grunts and groans. "I love you so. Fucking. Much. Baby. I—"

Another scream as she writhed beneath him.

When her eyes opened he finished the sentence.

"Love you."

Olivia licked her lips and ran her hands over his sweaty brow and shoulders. " _Ed_. Nobody's ever made me feel this way," she said breathlessly. "No one."

"That's because we were meant to be together, baby. We were _made_ for each other."

"I'm so in love with you."

Ed buried his face in her hair and collapsed on top of her. "We're so lucky."

Olivia never thought she would get the opportunity to agree to a statement like that, but she stroked the back of Ed's neck and nodded. "I know," she choked out, "And I'll never forget it."

…

Early Saturday morning, Ed and Olivia stood on the sidelines with other parents, watching volunteers coach the three and four-year-olds through a variety of drills. The head of the program, a student at Hudson University, introduced himself to the Tuckers and explained that the practice would last between thirty and forty-five minutes and would culminate in a scrimmage game. The actual season didn't start for a couple weeks.

"There's a season?" Ed asked skeptically.

"Yessir," he answered, eyeing Ed's badge and Glock which he insisted on wearing despite Olivia's objections. "Six games. It's all fun."

"Keep score?"

"Yessir, we do."

That partially satisfied Ed. "Everyone get a trophy?"

The guy shifted from foot to foot, "Um, just the champions and runners-up. The other kids all get certificates and medals."

Ed nodded approvingly. "Great. Thanks."

Olivia watched Ed fidget and subtly imitate the moves Noah was supposed to be completing. Every once in a while he called "Good job, bud!" When Noah was within earshot, he would look over and flash a quick grin before resuming his concentration on the task at hand. The shin guards, cleats, oversized shorts, and sweatshirt added awkward bulk to his small frame, but he fit right in. The morning air was chilly, but now that Noah was running around, Olivia debated whether or not she should send Ed out to remove his long sleeves. As it turned out, she didn't have to decide. During a water break, Noah ran over.

"Mommy, I take this off?"

"Sure sweetie." Olivia took the sweatshirt. "You look like you're having fun out there."

"Uh-huh," Noah answered, looking anxious to go rejoin his teammates.

"You're working hard out there, bud. Keep it up!"

"Okay, Daddy," Noah trotted off but then spun around and lifted a leg, "Dese keets really fast, Daddy!"

"I see it, pal! Keep hustling!"

"Kay!"

Olivia sidled up to Ed and her mild PDA surprised him.

"What?" She asked, noticing his lips curling into a smirk.

"You're the best looking mom here."

Olivia laughed shyly, "Do you ever stop flirting?"

"Not with you," Ed replied. "You know what Sarah asked me a few days ago?" He had to lie about the timing. Olivia hadn't known about his visit to the girls' apartment.

"Hmmm?" Olivia wrapped an arm around Ed's waist.

"She wanted to know when we _clicked_."

"As in…"

"Well," Ed laughed sardonically, "I'm sure she meant, uh, you know. But she played it off like she meant something more, um, innocent."

Olivia grinned at him. "What did you say?"

"I told her it was when we both realized we could trust each other."

"Then you kind of answered both versions of her question."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinkin."

"Want to have them over for dinner tonight? We won't see Brooke tomorrow."

Ed screwed up his face, "We won't?"

"Yeah, I was in touch with her earlier. She wanted to make sure I didn't mind if she went to Carisi's party after seeing Angela."

Again, Ed had to be evasive, but he would come clean later. "Carisi's?"

"He invited her over to meet his family."

"Wow. That's a big deal, right?"

Olivia leaned her head against his shoulder. "I think so. You alright with that?"

"I think the question is, are you?" Ed craned his neck to look at her. " _Your_ detective and _your_ Brooke?"

"We'll see what happens," Olivia brushed off the potential conflict and enjoyed the surroundings. The children's voices melded together into one pleasant chattery bubble overtaken only by the occasional whistles and shouts of the coaches. There were, maybe, thirty or so kids on the field, and Ed appeared to follow the logic of the drills and the set-up of the cones and mini-goals, but, to Olivia, it looked like one big chaotic toddler recess.

"Excuse me, are you Olivia? Noah's mom?"

Olivia turned and smiled at the speaker, one of the few older mothers she'd encountered and she looked vaguely familiar. "Yes, that's me."

"Hi, I'm Jennifer Franklin. My son, Brady, is in Noah's class."

"Oh, okay. Nice to meet you." Olivia was unfamiliar with most of the parents of Noah's classmates. She wasn't one to hang around and chat after school, and, most of the time, she wasn't the one picking him up anyway. "This is Noah's Dad, Ed."

Tucker reached out to shake her hand and the woman shook it gingerly while eyeballing the badge and gun. "So you're both police officers," she remarked.

"We are," Olivia said.

"Well, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if you'd heard about Amelia Sanchez?"

Olivia and Ed looked at each other quizzically before Olivia made the connection. _Miss 'Melia._

"Did something happen to her?" Olivia asked.

"Well, no, not exactly," Jennifer replied, "But she has to quit the day care and preschool. Something wrong with her papers. Apparently," her voice lowered, "she's _illegal_."

Olivia thought about Noah's love for Miss 'Melia and his passion for speaking Spanish with her and at home. This would devastate him. "Oh no," she murmured.

"Yes, it's too bad," Jennifer said icily, "But, it's just as well. We can't have _those_ _people_ around our children."

Olivia shot a closed-lip polite smile at the woman. "Thank you for letting us know," she said curtly. Taking the hint, Jennifer walked off.

"That's the Spanish teacher?" Ed asked.

"Yes. Noah's going to be so upset."

"You gonna try to see what's up?"

Even though she was agonizing about this new development, Olivia couldn't help but gaze up at her husband, "Now who's one step ahead?"

"I know you won't let this go if there's something you can do to help." He pulled her close, "Just another thing I love about you."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	21. Chapter 21

**Saturday, May 13, 2017**

… **.**

Ed listened to Noah's coach with interest as the young man told Ed how impressed he was with Noah's skills considering the boy had never played soccer before.

"He's got really good footwork," the coach said, "I bet he'll score a lot of goals this season."

Ed rubbed his chin and nodded, "Anything we should be workin' on at home?"

Olivia stifled laughter while observing the exchange. If they weren't surrounded by small children one would think the conversation pertained to teenagers playing competitive high school sports, certainly not a "league" in which some of the participants were still wearing pull-ups.

Noah ate fruit snacks at Olivia's side. The two of them waited patiently for Ed to finish the conversation.

"Well, sweet boy, how about we go home and get cleaned up and then we'll get lunch?"

Noah inspected his legs. "I dirty."

"When you play sports, sometimes you get dirty."

"I take shower?"

"We'll put you in the tub, sweetheart."

"Daddy take _showers_ ," Noah said pointedly.

"And little boys take baths. When you're older you can take showers."

Noah considered this, chewing thoughtfully. "We do da bubbles?"

"Of course."

"Da _minty_ bubbles?" Last week, when Ed handled bath time, he'd used their peppermint bubble bath instead of Noah's Mr. Bubble and, ever since, Noah eschewed the child-friendly version.

Olivia agreed to use the minty bubbles.

"Den what?"

"We'll go out to lunch," Olivia answered patiently.

"Den what?"

"We'll shop for dinner."

"Den what?"

Olivia chuckled, "I don't know. We'll play it by ear."

Noah grabbed his ear with his free hand and giggled.

"It means we'll do whatever we want."

"Daddy say he teach me to frow the ovver ball."

Olivia ran the back of her index finger across his flushed cheek, "Did he?"

"Uh-huh."

"Sarah and Brookey are coming over for dinner tonight. Maybe after we can go to the park and throw the other ball."

Noah scrunched up his face. "Sare bear frow da ball?"

"I'm sure she'll try."

"Daddy teach her too," Noah added assuredly. He crinkled the empty fruit snack package and handed it to Olivia before running over to hug one of Ed's legs, signaling his patience had run out. Ed lifted him up and kissed his cheek before shaking hands with the coach and walking over to where Olivia stood with the duffle bag.

"Ready?" Ed asked, his cheeks flushed with pride and excitement. "Coach says Noah's a natural."

 _I'm sure he's said that about all the kids,_ Olivia thought, but she humored Ed, "That's great," she cooed. "I told Pele here that we would get him cleaned up and go to lunch. That okay?"

"Sounds great," he kissed her cheek, "What else is goin' on?"

Olivia marveled at how he and Noah were just alike in their desire to know what was coming next. "Maybe go to Union Square? The market starts today. We can pick up some things for dinner?"

"We're cooking?"

"I was thinking maybe we'd get some shrimp?"

"Oh, good idea," Ed said, recalling the last time they'd successfully navigated their way through a homemade shrimp scampi, "Alright, No, you wanna get on my shoulders?"

"Yes!"

Ed hoisted Noah up and Olivia fussed with his mud-caked cleats. "You're getting dirt all over Daddy," she said, trying to pry larger chunks of sod from in between the spikes.

"Sports dirty, Mommy!"

"It's alright Liv," Ed said, gripping Noah's ankles tightly. "If he's dirty it means he worked hard. Right, bud?"

"Right Daddy!" Noah announced cheerfully.

Olivia strode alongside, shaking her head with a combination of amusement and resignation that, with the beginning of Noah's athletic career, she would, very often, be in the minority.

But she didn't mind at all.

…..

Sarah inspected Noah's soccer jersey and shorts. "So. Noey-boey, when's your first game?"

"We play today, Sare Bear."

" _No_ ," she replied, sounding a lot like a three-year-old, "You practiced today. When do you play a game? Like, when you wear the uniform?"

Ed and Olivia were chopping vegetables at the island and they kept their eyes focused on their task while they engaged in the conversation.

"Two weeks," Ed muttered. "Last Saturday in May. This ok?" He turned to Olivia and held up an asparagus spear, wondering if he'd cut off enough of the end.

She replied with a breathy yes just as her lips met his.

Sarah saw the whole thing, but Brooke pinched her just before Sarah broke into the signature _omigods_. Instead, younger sister beamed at older sister while rifling through Noah's sports gear.

"So, you're number eighteen," Sarah said approvingly. "Good number."

"Dat da way you see me on da field," Noah explained. "Daddy?"

"Yeah, bud?"

"I wear da white or da black?"

Ed dropped everything he was doing and grabbed the team schedule, "The first game…hmmm…you wear black."

"I be da one-eight on black, Sare bear. You come?"

"It's eighteen, Noey-boey. _One-eight_ means eighteen. And yes, I'm coming."

"It's at eight a.m." Ed pointed out. "Be careful what you promise the lad."

Sarah scowled good-naturedly. "Brookey and I will be there. And we shall be the loudest cheerleaders in the crowd." She pulled Noah within inches of her face, "Will you score a goal for me, Noey?"

"Uh-huh!"

"You're the best!"

"You da best!"

Brooke swiped Noah from Sarah's grasp and spun him around, "Let's not get into _that_ argument again. So, Noah, Dad tells me we're going to play football after dinner!"

"Yup," he replied in a strained voice since he was still upside down, "We eat da shrimpies den we gonna frow the ovver ball. I go get it."

Sarah was still examining the soccer gear and tabulating the cost in her head, "There must be hundreds of dollars of sports crap here," she concluded.

"There is," Olivia responded dryly.

Brooke picked up the jersey and then a cleat, "Sports are expensive."

Ed shrugged and tossed a handful of asparagus into a sauté pan. "He needs it."

Sarah broke into laughter, "He _needs_ it? He's three! And you bought him, like, hundred dollar cleats."

"They were not a hundred dollars," Ed shot back.

Sarah nudged Brooke, "Unbelievable."

"Hey," Ed said bitingly, "I seem to remember shelling out a lot of money for dance lessons, and school play costumes, and prom dresses, and braces."

"Oh Daddy," Sarah flounced around the island to hug Ed and wink at Olivia, "We both know you love having a boy."

"If he likes sports, that's great."

"The coach said he was natural today," Olivia added with exaggerated sincerity.

Sarah slapped Ed's chest, "Well, I'm sure you were just floating on air after that."

"He was," Olivia answered.

Ed threw up his hands, "I'm being mocked for being proud of my son."

Olivia hugged him, "No you're not. It's cute." She gave him a peck on the lips, "It's adorable actually."

Noah came running into the room and threw the ball at Sarah who deflected it into the fridge and then onto the island, just missing the wine bottle and glasses.

"Noah," Olivia warned sternly, "No throwing the ball in the house, okay? That's for outside."

"Daddy frowed it to me."

The three women shot accusatory expressions at Ed. On a regular basis, he carried his weapon and badge just in case he or his family were threatened in the outside world, but he had absolutely no defense for this attack. He threw up his hands.

"Guilty."

"You have to tell him when to ZIP IT, Daddy," Sarah said, "If you tell him to ZIP IT, he'll keep quiet. Right No?"

Sensing he'd erred, Noah nodded hesitantly. Ed picked him up and flew him around the space between the kitchen and the windows. "We'll play with the ball in a little bit, pal. Why don't you show Sarah and Brookey how to hold it so they can throw it with us?"

"Okay."

"I love you, bud."

"Love you, Daddy."

Sarah grabbed Olivia's wrist which was dangerous because Olivia was chopping an onion with a very sharp knife. "How do you handle this, Livvie?"

"Handle what?"

"Dad and Noah, they're so…Brady Bunch."

Olivia laughed and deadpanned, "I fear the day that it goes away."

….

The Tuckers broke the no-alcohol rule and took after dinner drinks to the park. Olivia brought a blanket and she and the girls sipped and watched Ed lob the football to Noah. The return throws were wobbly, but Ed complimented Noah on each one. Olivia felt the effects of the day's alcohol and vowed to slow down, but she was in a celebratory mood so she didn't beat herself up for going a tad overboard.

"Thanks for dinner, Liv," Brooke said, "It was tasty."

"Yeah," Sarah agreed, "Did you two go to a cooking class or something?"

Brooke slapped Sarah disapprovingly

"Shrimp is," Olivia explained through laughter, "Surprisingly easy. Garlic, white wine, lemon, pasta…very simple. We have that at least twice per week, but we go the shrimp from the farmers market."

"Oh, that started already?" Brooke asked.

"Yep. First day."

Sarah nudged Brooke, "Maybe you and Sonny should go there for a fun datey-Saturday thing sometime."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "Why don't you worry about your love life and I'll worry about mine?"

"Because I don't have a love life at the moment. I only have yours."

Brooke looked pleadingly at Olivia. Sarah had an answer for everything, and Olivia usually provided much appreciated help. To Brooke's dismay, Olivia delved into the Sonny subject.

"Brooke, Carisi can probably come on by if you want. Things have been slow."

Sarah giggled and Brooke looked at Olivia with alarm. "Come on by _here_?" She asked incredulously. Was her ally switching sides?

"Only if you want," Olivia added, but with a hint of Sarah-esque mischief.

"Pleeeeaaassse, Brookey," Sarah begged, "We'll be good. C'mon. Call Sonny."

"I'm seeing him tomorrow."

"But it would be good to see him today, too," Sarah insisted, "Livvie, when did you and Daddy start seeing each other every day?"

"When we lived together."

This answer was counterproductive to Sarah's point. "But only because you're a cop, so you have weird things come up."

"Right."

Brooke interrupted, "So none of that applies to me and Sonny."

"Bullshit," Sarah said, "He's a cop. You're a teacher. Which is kind of like being a cop. So, and I think Livvie will support me on this one, you have to make time. _Like right now_."

Brooke and Sarah cast expectant gazes at Olivia. The girls were adorable. Sarah looked exactly like Ed, especially when she was upset and her face hardened a bit. Brooke resembled him too, but, unlike Sarah, her face was round and her blue eyes were always soft and compassionate. Even when dealing with her obstinate sister. The sisters got along impeccably, but they posed a challenge for Olivia because, personality-wise they were polar opposites.

"It's hard to make time," she said, taking a sip and gazing out at Noah and Ed, "It's work."

Sarah leaned against Olivia and prompted her for more information, "But you and Daddy got together and it doesn't seem like work."

Brooke guffawed, "It's always work."

"Livvie?" Sarah asked, wide-eyed.

"It's work," she said slowly, "But it's good work. It's work that matters. And, it's not work in the traditional sense. It's…" Olivia flipped through various scenes in her head—Paris, the proposal, walks in the park, lovemaking, and the times Ed had just done the simplest things to make her life easier. "It's with a purpose," she said, "It's almost like this is our last chance. And neither one of us wants to… _fuck it up."_

Brooke and Sarah gaped at the _fuck it up_. They'd never heard that from Olivia before.

"Wow, Livvie," Sarah purred, "That's deep."

"And serious," Brooke added.

Olivia's eyes filled with tears. A few yards away from them, Ed chased Noah who ran at breakneck speed with the football toward some goal known only to him. His squeals grew fainter until Ed finally caught up to him, swung him around, and wrapped him in a tight hug.

"Dad's so happy," Brooke remarked, "He rarely smiles like that."

"Sometimes I forget he has that many teeth." Sarah didn't intend her comment to be funny but both Olivia and Brooke erupted into giggles. "I'm glad I'm entertaining the two of you."

"You're always entertaining, sis," Brooke said.

"I…yeeow!" Sarah was interrupted by the football which collided with her head.

Doubled over with laughter, Ed trotted over and hugged his daughter, "Sare, I'm sorry. I told Noah to throw it, I didn't think he'd hit ya from that far away." He waved at Noah who stood frozen in the spot where he'd released the football, "C'mere, bud. It's okay."

Noah ran over and hopped into Sarah's lap. "You mad, Sare Bear?"

"Of course not, Noey-Boey!"

"Tell her you're sorry," Olivia said, "Even though it was an accident."

"I sorry," Noah pouted a little but soon giggled uncontrollably as Sarah covered him with kisses.

"You're just a super good quarterback," Brooke said.

"You hold da ball like dis, wiff yer fingers heeeere." Noah held out the ball with his fingers between the laces. "Den you frow a, a, Daddy? What you say?"

"Tight spiral."

Noah repeated the phrase the best he could and then prompted Sarah to throw it, "Go 'head, Sare bear, I run you frow."

"Aren't you tired, Noey?"

"No."

Ok, five throws, then we're gonna call Sonny."

"No, we're not," Brooke said.

"If Noah catches three in a row, we're calling."

Brooke loved Noah, but she knew her odds were good. "Fine, go ahead."

Ed and Olivia observed from the edge of the blanket, stole a few kisses, and whispered to each other.

"Your drink's just about empty," Ed said, "Want me to go get a couple of refills?"

Olivia shivered, "It's starting to get chilly, we should probably go in soon."

"C'mere," Ed motioned for her to cuddle up with him, and she obliged and took a deep, satisfied breath as she settled in to him. He ran his hands up and down her arms. "If it weren't for all these people, I could _really_ warm you up." Another shiver. Ed smirked mischievously, "Like that idea?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Havin' a good weekend so far?"

"I wish it would never end."

"Wait 'till you see your present."

"What is it?"

"Now, _Lieutenant_ , you know I'm not gonna tell you. I will tell you, though, that Cole said I need to save some of these ideas." Ed loved feeling Olivia shake with laughter. He held her more tightly and lightly bit her ear.

"When'd you see Cole?"

"When I went in to work Thursday morning. We'll get a drink sometime next week."

"Miss your old IAB crew?"

"Nah," Ed replied.

"Do you miss IAB?"

"Absolutely not."

"Wish you were in hostage negotiation?"

"A little, but…there's a purpose in what I'm doin' now, ya know?"

"Purpose," Olivia murmured.

"THAT'S THREE! CALL SONNY!" Sarah rushed over and practically tackled Noah who had successfully completed three catches in a row. Brooke smiled and shook her head in disbelief.

"Call Sonny!" Noah echoed.

"I guess Carisi's coming over?" Ed asked.

"That okay?" Olivia replied.

"Yeah, we can kick everyone out when we're sick of 'em," Ed said, only partially joking.

"I kind of like the fact that we have family we occasionally have to kick out."

Ed kissed her on the head. "Me too, Liv."

…

"Now," Sarah whispered to Olivia, "The real test is…how will he greet her?"

"Well, it's our place and her Dad is here, I bet just a hug," Olivia predicted, enjoying the conspiratorial huddle a bit too much.

Sarah disagreed, "My money's on a kiss on the cheek."

Noah rushed to the door as soon as he heard Sonny's knock.

"We'll soon find out," Olivia said.

"Yay!" Noah cried, "Sonny heeeeeere! Daddy! Brookey! Open da door!" Noah was jumping up and down and, when Brooke let Sonny in, the little boy propelled himself into Carisi's waiting arms.

"Hi Noah! Good to see you, too!"

Sarah nudged Olivia. There was some shuffling. Some whispers. "Can you see them?" Sarah hissed.

"No."

"Damn."

Noah led Sonny into the living room. "Sonny here Mama!"

"Hey Carisi," Olivia greeted him without getting up, "Want a drink? Ed? Are you back there?"

"Yeah!" Ed called from the kitchen, "Carisi, whatcha drinkin?"

Carisi didn't answer right away. "Lieu, you sure this is okay? I left Fin there all alone."

"He's got Rollins if he needs someone. And why is he still there anyway?"

Carisi shrugged, "I don't think he had anything else to do."

"Shoulda brought him."

"Want me to call?" Carisi asked eagerly.

"No, no, I'm sure he's happy where he is. Have a seat."

Tucker brought Carisi a bourbon. "Didja want ice?"

"No thanks, Captain," Carisi took an uncomfortable sip; he preferred beer, but there was no way he was going to refuse the bourbon. "So, whaddya doin' tomorrow?"

Olivia told him their plans, including the news that Nick was in town and would stop by the precinct sometime the next week to say hello to his old squad mates. Carisi talked excitedly about his family's party in Staten Island and Sarah wasted no time inserting Brooke into the mix.

"Well, I can't wait to hear how they receive our Brookey," Sarah announced as she sashayed into the living area, "What should she wear?"

Sonny laughed, "We're from Staten Island, not the Hamptons." He gazed sincerely at Brooke, "Wear whatever you want. It's not an interview."

Ed brought a tray of snacks, the bottle of bourbon, and the bottle of wine from the kitchen and set everything on the table. He took a corner seat, closest to Carisi and next to Olivia who immediately gravitated to his side. Sonny had been to their apartment several times, and while he and Brooke acted like things were platonic when they were around other people, it was accepted as fact that they were together. Olivia, on the other hand, sometimes dialed back her outward affection for her husband when she was around her squad, so Ed appreciated and relished her letting her guard down then.

Sarah intently eyed the seating arrangement. "Sonny, why don't you take the other end of the sofa? I'll sit here in the big chair with Noey."

Hearing his name, Noah looked up from his beanbag and didn't look the least bit interested in joining Sarah.

"Are we going to play a game or something?" Brooke asked, trying to avoid the scrutiny of where and how close to Sonny she was going to sit.

"Yahtzee!" Noah shouted.

"Yeah," Brooke said, "Let's play Yahtzee. Noah can be Sarah's partner."

Ed surreptitiously kissed Olivia's head. The two of them had passed some late nights playing the dice game and Ed always seemed to tie in some sort of lovemaking deal to the number of Yahtzees he rolled, so the game took on an erotic connotation unbeknownst to the others.

Olivia squeezed his thigh. "Sure, let's play," she said.

The adults and Noah sat around the end of the dining table for the rest of the night, drinking and trash-talking as Ed and Sonny handily traded off beating everyone. Sarah suggested Uno, but everyone else was ready to call it a night. Noah hadn't been properly put to bed, and he was sacked out on the couch, sleeping soundly, cradling his football and using Bernie for a pillow.

"He's so precious," Brooke cooed before leaning down to kiss him goodbye. "So, so precious."

Carisi put a hand on her shoulder, "He really is. Wish they could stay like that forever."

"He'll soon be corrupted like the rest of us," Sarah muttered and chugged the rest of her wine. Tipsy, she slammed it too hard back against the granite counter and the clattering caused Noah to stir and everyone else to glare in her direction.

Brooke hugged Olivia and apologized again for missing Mother's Day but promised to call sometime tomorrow. Sonny thanked Ed and Olivia for having him over.

"Next time, we'll have drinks and games at my place. I'll cook, too!"

"Yeah, we'll make sure to take you up on that," Ed replied sincerely.

Brooke looked horrified, but Sarah grinned triumphantly. Before they departed, Ed caught Sarah's eye, silently reminding her to bring the painting tomorrow afternoon.

Sarah winked at him. _Got it, Daddio._

Olivia turned off lights and decided major clean-up could wait until morning. Ed stood over Noah for a few seconds with a proud paternal smirk on his face and then carefully excavated his son from the plush cushions.

Olivia planted a kiss on Noah's cheek and whispered, "Night, sweet boy."

"You goin' to bed?" Ed asked.

Olivia cocked an eyebrow and offered a flirty nod.

"I'll meetcha in there."

….

Olivia wrapped a towel around her damp hair and reached for her light robe, but Ed deftly swiped it away. She tried to glare at him or be annoyed, but she managed zero animosity. "C'mon, give it back."

Ed leered naughtily at her. "Damn. I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do."

"Uh-uh. You're stunning."

Olivia put her hands on his chest, "You're not so tough to look at either, Captain Tucker." She slid her hands down his arms and tried to pry the robe away from his grip.

" _No_ ," he insisted, "I like you like this."

" _Ed_."

He pouted. "Just a few more minutes? Dance with me."

" _Dance with you_?"

"Yeah," He dropped the robe and put his hands on her back, drawing her close so their torsos were touching. "Dance with me." He kissed her shoulder and neck before planting a smooch on her lips.

"There's no music."

"I don't care." Ed swayed them around the bathroom slowly, rubbing circular patterns on her back and taking deep breaths of her skin, delightfully scented with the body wash they'd just lathered all over each other. "I love you so much, Liv," he rasped sincerely. "So, so much."

Olivia tilted her head back. "I love you, too."

"I wanna stay like this forever."

"I'm here Ed. _Forever_."

"Promise?"

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Of course. I promised on December thirty-first last year."

"Yeah…" Ed smiled, thinking of the day Olivia became his wife, "What are we doin' for our anniversary?"

At the risk of insulting him, Olivia snickered a little, "That's kind of far away, isn't it?"

"Beach? Skiing?"

"I may have to work."

"How 'bout we do what we did this weekend?"

"What's that?"

"Just take the time off," Ed pleaded, "And do whatever we want. You're the _boss_ , remember." He kneaded his fingers more deeply into her back, "But, ya' know what, let's stop talking. We're dancing."

Their bodies pressed together, Ed guided them slowly through the dimly lit bathroom, stepping on and around clothes and towels strewn around the tile floor. Olivia laid her head on Ed's shoulder and gazed out at the stars, the only other witnesses to this intimate moment between the two once-wandering souls who had finally found common ground, peace, and unconditional love in each other.

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	22. Chapter 22

**Sunday, May 14, 2017**

 _The men went to get breakfast_.

Below the note, Ed had drawn a misshapen heart and Noah scribbled a few illegible lines which he probably intended to spell his name.

Olivia smiled at the paper and started the Kuerig. Ed had already perused the _New York Times_ , neatly refolded it, and left it on the island next to his coffee mug and Noah's plastic cup. The pleasant expression on her face remained as she imagined Ed and Noah starting their morning as she slept. Ed probably reminded Noah to keep his voice down so they wouldn't wake Mommy.

Mommy, however, had been woken up earlier by her husband. The clock read 3:59 when Olivia stirred from her sleep at the feeling of what she quickly identified as Ed's lips on her stomach. She stroked his head in encouragement and he moved to her hip and rasped a "Happy Mother's Day" before sliding _his_ boxers from her legs and giving her the first of the day's gifts. Olivia arched her back as he carefully maneuvered his tongue and fingers between her legs. No lover of hers had ever approached oral sex as zealously or as meticulously as Ed; in fact, it wasn't even something she particularly enjoyed, but now she craved the feeling of him expertly sending her into a writhing erotic fervor.

The sound of the keys in the lock startled her out of her daydream. Predicting the woman of the house was still asleep, Ed spoke to Noah in a hushed voice.

"Can ya get your shoes off?"

"I wear da shoes."

"No, bud, they're kinda dirty. Take 'em off."

Olivia heard Velcro tearing and two distinct thuds.

"They off."

"Alright, let's put this stuff in the kitchen. Leave your plane here."

When Noah saw Olivia he ran to her and hugged her legs tightly. "Hi Mommy! You 'wake!"

"Yes, sweet boy! Thank you for letting me sleep in. Where'd you go?"

"Fly da plane!"

"And we got food," Ed said, appearing from the foyer and holding up two paper bags. "Bagels and some fruit. Interested?"

"I am," Olivia cooed, smiling and batting her eyelashes at Ed. He came over and kissed her cheek, but she grabbed his neck and pulled him in for a less chaste smooch.

He smiled against her lips, "Happy Mother's Day."

"Happy Muvver's Day!" Noah shouted. "We see Gamma Caraline today!"

"Yes we are," Olivia said. "And the Amaros."

"Amaros!" Noah echoed.

"He probably doesn't remember them," Olivia said regretfully, "It's been a while since we've seen Mrs. Amaro. I really should see her more. She was always there for us when Noah was a baby."

Ed tried to be empathetic, but he was sort of proud that Olivia didn't have to rely on tertiary family friends for Noah's care anymore. "I'm sure she understands."

"Well, at least, I'm glad to be able to go over there today. Sure you don't mind?"

"I told you," Ed said, "It's your day. Whatever you want." He leaned against the countertop and grinned at her. "Besides, you have to deal with the Tuckers later at my mom's."

"I love the Tuckers. This one," Olivia jabbed at the center of his chest with her index finger, "In particular."

"Well, I think that's just because…" Ed trailed off. They both knew what he meant.

Olivia broke into laughter, "Do you want more coffee?"

"I want coffee!" Noah interjected.

"How about chocolate milk?" Olivia suggested.

Noah nodded eagerly.

"So, we'll probably leave around one?"

Ed shrugged, "Whenever you say."

"Part of me would rather stay here."

"We can do that."

Olivia handed Noah his cup. "It will be nice to see everybody, though."

Ed was digging into the bags and produced two bagels and a container of cream cheese. From the second bag he pulled the plastic bowl of mixed fruit.

"Plate?" Olivia asked teasingly.

"Oh, yeah, thanks."

They ate their breakfast at the island and chatted with Noah who, despite having played in the park earlier, seemed more rambunctious than usual. He sprinted back and forth along the floor to ceiling windows, pausing briefly to take in the view of mid-morning Manhattan. The buildings glistened in the sunlight and the cloudless sky had never looked more inviting, as if it were urging everyone to come out and play. When Olivia announced she was going to shower and start getting ready, Ed told Noah to get his soccer ball.

"You're going out _again_?" Olivia asked.

"We have time?"

"Of course."

"It's such a nice day," Ed pointed out, "And, ya know, he has a game next weekend."

Olivia resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead kissed her husband. "You're such a good Dad."

Ed beamed back at her. "We won't be long."

"Daddy I got da ball!" Noah said. "Need da keets."

"We can just wear your regular shoes, bud."

"NO! Need da keets for soccer!"

Olivia offered no sympathy. "Better take the cleats, soccer Dad."

Ed shot her a sassy look and took a playful swat at her behind which she deftly dodged. As she made her way back to the bedroom she glanced over her shoulder, winked, and pursed her lips, sending a kiss towards Ed through the air.

…..

Cesaria Amaro apparently did not understand or simply ignored the idea that mothers typically get a break from motherly duties on Mother's Day. When Ed, Olivia, and Noah arrived at the house, they were greeted first by the aroma of grilled meats and savory side dishes, set out in compartmentalized warming trays—the type of supply owned only by those who regularly entertained masses of friends and relatives.

Olivia wasn't sure whether or not Noah would remember Mrs. Amaro. Her uncertainty cleared when he made a beeline into her waiting arms. She whispered something to him in Spanish and Noah did his best to reply, adding, "I talk 'Panish wiff Miss Melia."

Olivia's heart sank and she felt Ed's hand on her back, silently reminding her that whatever she planned to do to help Amelia would have to wait until later.

"Welcome, welcome," Cesaria said, ushering them in, "Everyone's out back. It's such a beautiful day." She wrapped Olivia in a tight hug and accepted Ed's polite kiss on the cheek. "Nick and Zara will be so happy to see you!"

"I'm sure you're happy to have them here this week," Olivia replied.

"Thrilled." Mrs. Amaro's smile seemed permanently plastered on her face. "Now, are you eating now or later?"

"In a few minutes," Olivia said, "Unfortunately, we can't stay long."

"Oh, yes, yes," she turned to Ed, "Where does your mother live?"

"Riverdale."

"Well, save room. Mothers don't like it when their sons come over without appetites." Mrs. Amaro slid open the glass door and announced the Tuckers' arrival, "Nick, I think there's someone here you want to see!"

Beyond the patio, Nick and Gil tossed a football back and forth. Hearing his mother's voice, Olivia's former partner turned and greeted them with a wide smile before rushing over and enveloping Olivia in a tight embrace.

"Liv! Thanks for comin.' It's so good to see you!"

"Good to see you too, Nick. You look great!" Olivia held him at arm's length. "How's the knee?"

"About as healed as it will ever get. Some pain here and there but, overall, it's fine."

Ed had noticed the hitch in Amaro's step when the jogged over to greet them and thought to himself. _What is it with these SVU people calling everything "fine?"_

Amaro shook Tucker's hand. "How's everything, Captain?"

"Great," Ed replied, "And…it's Ed."

"Alright, well," Nick looked around for Noah, but the boy was already in the yard, cautiously approaching Gil who held the football, "Looks like Noah's made himself right at home. Gosh, he looks big. How's he doin?"

Ed responded before Olivia could get a word in, "Playin' soccer. First game's next weekend."

Nick looked a little taken aback by Ed's sudden buoyancy, "Oh yeah? Sounds fun!"

Olivia's lips turned upwards into a wry smile, "It's a little, um, _much_ for three-year-olds, but Noah seems to like it. He's only been to one practice."

"Yeah," Nick replied knowingly, "Those little kid soccer games end up looking like a giant mass of kids running around randomly. And one or two go off to the side and pick dandelions or something."

"I thought the practice was really organized," Ed added defensively.

"It was," Olivia said, "And Noah's already promised to score a goal for his sister, so…we'll see how that goes."

"Well, hey," Amaro said, breezily changing the subject, "Wanna drink? Beer? Wine? Water? Soda?"

Olivia and Ed both ordered beers and Amaro went to grab them. In the meantime, Noah had taken the football from Gil and was running clumsily towards his parents with the regulation-sized pigskin.

"Here, Daddy, you frow!"

Noah dumped the ball at Ed's feet.

"Sure, bud. I'll throw it to Gil, okay? It's the ball that the big guys play with."

"I big guy."

"Yeah, you're a big guy, but your football's at home." Ed motioned for Gil to run for a long pass and he delivered a perfectly on-target throw just as Amaro returned with the beers.

"Nice toss, Tucker. Former QB?"

"Yeah. High School." Ed massaged his shoulder, "I'm gonna feel this tomorrow probably."

Amaro laughed, "You will. I threw batting practice for Gil's team a couple weeks ago and I was out of commission for a few days."

"He play football too?"

"He's on the football team, but he's more interested in baseball right now. He's a pretty decent athlete and likes to play everything. Now, all the coaches in high school, they want kids to specialize so early. It's crazy."

Ed watched Noah trot over to Gil, grab the ball, and flee as Gil tried to "tackle" him.

"Noah's coach was talking to me like he's Gil's age," Ed snickered.

Olivia wanted to call him out on his sarcasm. Ed was just as serious as Noah's coach; instead, she wandered off in search of Zara and left the men alone.

"Well, you watch, when Noah gets to be five or six? Some parents will be getting private coaches and personal trainers…youth sports has spiraled way out of control."

Ed smiled, "Wow. _Youth sports_ when I was growing up was whatever we decided to play in the street…and maybe some Little League games."

"The good old days."

"Yep."

"So, how's everything else?"

"Real good." Noah delivered the ball and Ed threw another pass to Gil, "Got the new apartment all set up, painted, moved in."

"Yeah, Liv sent me a few pictures. It looks like a great place."

"Stop by this week if you have time," Ed suggested.

Amaro took a swig of his beer and almost pinched himself at the normal-guy version of Ed Tucker. "Yeah, I'll try to do that. I'm planning to stop by the precinct at some point."

"Daddy!" Noah shrieked in delight as Gil held him upside down and ran over with him slung over his shoulder. He giggled as Nick introduced his son.

"Ed, this is Gil."

Tucker shook the teenager's hand, "Star receiver in the making. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, sir. Um," Gil put Noah on his feet, "He took a little spill out there and got his hands all dirty."

Ed looked around, grabbed a napkin and dabbed at his hands, but the dirt was already caked between Noah's fingers. "Let's go inside and wash them in the sink, bud."

Amaro led them inside and pointed down a hall, "Second door on the left."

"Thanks."

Nick walked back towards the sliding glass doors, but Tucker's voice filtering from the open bathroom door stopped him. The former SVU detective held his breath, incredulous, as he listened to the formerly acerbic IAB investigator help his son wash his hands.

"Here, No, put your hands under the water and scrub, scrub, scrub."

"I scrub, Daddy! All keen."

"Not yet, there's still some dirt in there. Keep scrubbin'."

"Dirt all gone, Daddy!"

"Yep. Sure is. Let's dry off and we'll go back outside."

"I play more?"

"We'll check with Mommy. But you can probably play some more with Gil."

"Den we see Gamma Caraline?"

"Yep, and Sarah and everyone else."

"I frow da ball at Sarah!" Noah erupted into giggles and Amaro heard Ed's laughter as well. The easy chuckles were incredibly unfamiliar.

"Yeah, ya did, bud. She's not very good at catching though, is she?"

"Uh-uh. Hitted her on da head!"

"Yeah, we'll make sure she's ready this time. Ok, pal, let's go back out."

Amaro slid outside before Ed could discover he'd been eavesdropping. Olivia was parked on a chair, alone for the moment, and Nick clinked bottles with her and took a seat.

"I was just talking to Zara," Olivia said, "She was going on and on about California. The beach, her friends, Disneyland…she loves it."

"Yeah, definitely the right decision for everybody," Nick said, "And my job there? With the park police? Night and day. Relaxed and laid back."

"You deserve it, Nick."

"You ever think about living anywhere else?"

Olivia's answer came without hesitation, "No. But…I have enjoyed getting out of the city more. As Noah grows up, I feel like it's important that he sees as many places as possible."

"Probably easier now that Tucker's around," Nick cringed at his choice of words, "Er, uh, now that you're married. Sorry. I know he's not just _around_."

Olivia laughed off the minor blunder. "It sure is easier."

"And it seems like…he and Noah…they get along pretty well."

" _Pretty well_? You should see them together. Noah's like Ed's little sidekick. Of course, they're together a lot. Ed's job is kind of a nine-to-five thing, so he does most of the pick-ups and drop-offs."

"Lucy?"

"She's finishing her Masters' program, so she won't be around much longer unfortunately. But, I guess, decent timing. He'll go to pre-K this fall I think, even though he's a little on the young side."

Amaro watched Ed toss the football back and forth with Gil and another younger male relative while Noah played his own side game of monkey-in-the-middle. "Tucker's really proud of him."

Olivia's eyes tracked Ed's movements. Though she'd seen the man many times in many variations of clothing and not-clothing, she decided just then there were fewer sexier sights than her husband's biceps bulging against the sleeve of his polo. He'd even humored her by wearing the salmon-colored one she'd purchased for him even though the color was obviously risky.

"He is, but now that he's playing soccer? He's _extremely_ excited. His daughters never played sports and now that Noah is interested, well, Ed's over-the-moon. It's cute…and a little ridiculous."

"Oh c'mon, Liv. You know every Dad has that dream at some point—that his kid's gonna be the next great athlete."

"Is that your dream?"

"Nah…but I'm not sayin' I haven't thought about it. Right now? I just want him to get through high school okay…there's so much these kids have to deal with. It's definitely safer where Gil lives, but it's not like he's in the clear. Still a lotta ways to get in trouble."

Olivia reached over and patted Nick's shoulder, "But he has two parents there with him," she pointed out.

"And so does Noah."

"Lucky kids," Olivia murmured.

"Lucky kids."

….

" _Noey_!" Barefooted, Sarah skipped out to meet Ed, Olivia, and Noah as soon as she spotted them parallel parking on the street.

Noah fought against the straps of his car seat as Olivia tried to extricate him. "Sare bear! I gotta see Sare bear!"

"Noah, relax. Hold still, or I won't be able to unbuckle you."

Obediently, Noah froze and sat back, rigid, as if he were in a straitjacket.

"Happy Mother's Day, Daddy!" Sarah hugged Ed and bounced from one foot to the other, impatiently waiting for Noah and Olivia, "You should see all the food in there."

Ed held Sarah at arm's length and examined her eyes and flushed cheeks, "And, apparently, all the drinks, too."

"Oh, I've only had a couple," Sarah sing-songed, "You know Grams, always pouring, pouring, pouring. I think Uncle Johnny is already passed out. What _took_ you so long?"

Ed checked his watch. It was just before five o'clock, "We're not that late. But…we got a late start and stayed longer at Amaros."

She jabbed at his chest with her index finger, " _Oooo_ , late start huh?"

Ed rolled his eyes and ignored the question. "Heard from Brooke?"

"I am happy to report that she successfully departed Connecticut and is now at Sonny's party on Staten Island. Gawwd. Poor Brookey. Connecticut and Staten Island in one day. Ugh." Sarah's face registered exaggerated levels of disgust, but Noah emerged from the car and immediately elicited a blissful grin from his sister. "Hi, No!"

"Hi Sare Bear!"

"Wanna go inside and see what's cookin?"

"I not hungey."

"You better pretend you are or Grandma's gonna be mad. I know you have room for cake!"

"Cake not dinner."

"I _know_."

Sarah led Noah inside by the hand. Ed lagged behind, looking reluctant to go any further. Olivia looked up at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin. Kinda wish we were going home."

Olivia grinned knowingly; two events like this in one day was a lot to ask of the solitude-loving Ed. "We don't have to stay long. Besides, I want to get home early…back to work tomorrow."

"Right."

"Thanks again for going to Amaros."

"It was fun."

" _Fun_?"

"Yeah. They're good people."

Olivia rubbed Ed's right bicep and shoulder. "Am I going to have to take care of this tonight?"

Ed blushed. "Maybe." Olivia tried once more to head inside, but Ed grabbed her by the waist of her pants. " _Hey_."

"Hmm?"

"It's still kinda awkward…seein' people, you know, from back then."

This surprised Olivia, mostly because the time at Amaro's passed without the least but of discomfort, at least, from her perspective. "You think so?"

"Maybe it's just me."

"I thought it went well."

"I guess I always feel like Amaro, well, any of 'em, they're constantly judging me, or, _us_."

Olivia kissed him reassuringly, "That may have happened at first, but now? I don't think so. I think people notice how sweet you are."

Ed feigned being insulted. " _Sweet_?"

"EDDIE! What the hell are you doing out there? Get in here and be social, well, get Olivia in here, so she can be social!" Caroline scampered from the door, through the gate, and stood, arms akimbo, in front of her son and daughter-in-law. Her short hair looked as if it had been recently coiffed into a more precise pixie cut, and the playful glint in her eyes muted the forced frown on her face. "You come all the way out here to see your mother on Mother's Day and you're gonna spend it out here on the street?"

"I was talkin' with my wife, Ma."

Olivia put her head on Ed's chest, "Sorry, Caroline. This one needs a little prodding. Two events in one day."

"I know, I know, I know," Caroline relaxed and gave both Olivia and Ed a peck on the cheek, "He's always been like that. Your little boy on the other hand is making the rounds with Sarah and already entertaining the crowd. Actually," Caroline waved a dismissive hand, "You probably don't really haveta come inside at all, Eddie. Everyone wants to see Noah and Olivia anyway."

…

"Well, Ma, lemmeproposeatoast." John slurred his words and slumped in his chair. He barely managed to lift his glass a few inches.

Two seats away, Ed set his jaw in frustration. Olivia whispered in his ear. "Relax. We'll leave after this."

At the other end of the table, Caroline held a sleeping Noah and listened intently to John's speech.

Also present were Margie, a neighbor, and two family friends who were in no better shape than John. Ed's brother ambled through the toast, praising his mother, Margie, the neighbor, and, finally, Olivia. Everyone thought he was wrapping up when he reached out and put a hand on Sarah's arm.

"And to you, dearie. Our. Dearest. Sare Bear. Someday, someday, you'll make a great mother."

Sarah forced a curt smile. John wasn't finished.

"We just gotta get you to keep a husband first." John took a blissful sip and looked around the table expectantly, wondering why nobody else was drinking.

Olivia's eyes widened. She swallowed hard and clutched Ed's wrist under the table.

Ed clenched his jaw even more tightly.

Caroline, cognizant of Noah, admonished her son in hushed tones. "Johnny, shut up, will ya? That's none of your business."

"I was—"

Hot tears streamed down Sarah's flushed face. "Oh, fuck you, Uncle Johnny. It's not like you or anyone else around this fucking table can stay married. Hell, even Daddy and Olivia…I'm sure Dad, you'll figure out some way to FUCK THIS UP!"

Sarah froze, knowing she'd crossed a line but not having the words nor the courage to immediately apologize. Instead, she guzzled the rest of her cocktail and stormed out of the room. Seconds later, the front door slammed.

Ed moved to follow her, but Olivia stopped him. "Let her go, Ed."

"No. She's had who knows how many drinks and I don't know where she's going."

"I'll go. You get Noah."

"How in the hell did _I_ become the bad guy?" He muttered with a bewildered expression.

"Get Noah's things and let's take her home. We'll talk about it later." Olivia caressed Ed's cheek. "Trust me on this, okay. She feels bad. I saw it. Let me go."

"Alright."

….

Olivia found Sarah on the front porch with a cigarette. She'd somehow procured another cocktail and alternated between taking amateurish puffs and non-amateurish swigs from the tumbler.

"Hey, Sare."

Olivia expected her stepdaughter to collapse into her arms and offer a teary apology, but the exact opposite happened. Sarah regarded her with narrow eyes and the clenched Tucker jaw.

"Dad sent you to fight his battles?"

"Your Dad," Olivia replied gently, "Is not the enemy."

"Of course you're gonna take his side. But…you just wait, he'll fuck you over just like he fucked Mom over."

Olivia furrowed her brow in confusion since Sarah's recollection of her parents' marital demise always featured Angela as the antagonist. However, Ed was right. She'd obviously been drinking all day and her capacity for clear, rational thought was probably at zero.

"How about we take you home?"

"Yeah right. So Dad can scream at me the whole way?"

"That won't happen."

"Sure it will. You've never seen it, but he will. You just wait. You think everything's so fucking perfect, that you and him and you've changed and he's changed and you have this nice little life and he's buying you paintings and all this shit and a year from now you're gonna be like, what the fuck happened?"

Olivia blinked and tried to shuffle through Sarah's words for any type of sensible thought. "Please let us take you home."

"No. I'm fine here."

"Sarah, please—"

"I _said_ , I'm fine."

The two of them whirled around at the sound of the screen door and Sarah immediately turned away from Ed as he emerged with Noah slung over one shoulder and the bag full of kid supplies hanging from the other.

Smartly, Ed ignored his daughter and continued wordlessly to the car.

Before following him, Olivia whispered, "Call me if you need me."

…..

Monday morning at the precinct flew by not because of work but because everyone—Fin, Carisi, and Rollins had Mother's Day stories to tell and photographs to share. It was almost noon before a call came in, taking Rollins and Carisi away.

"I'm gonna go get some lunch, Liv," Fin said, "Want anything?"

"I'm good. No thanks."

"Alright. Be back in a few."

Olivia went about clearing her email inbox which had become hopelessly cluttered while she was on her mini-vacation. She was just getting into a groove when her phone rang. Brooke's name popped up on the screen. Olivia double checked the time. It was an odd time to get a call from her.

"Hey Brooke, what's up?"

"Have you heard from Sarah?"

"Not since yesterday." Olivia closed her eyes, trying to mentally block out Sarah's drunken rage session. They were going to have to hash that out sooner or later, and she wasn't looking forward to it.

 _Talk about awkward._

"Yesterday?" Brooke sounded panicky. "I got a call from her office. She didn't show up today and they can't reach her. And neither can I."

"She's not picking up her phone?"

"It's either off or dead. It goes straight to voicemail."

"Was she at home last night?"

A few seconds of silence.

"I, uh, I was at Sonny's last night. Her bedroom door was closed when I got there this morning, but it was so early…"

"Okay. Just…relax. I'll go over there."

"Thanks, Liv. Keep me posted. I'm…I'm so worried. The last text I got from her, well, I didn't think it was a big deal at the time but now…"

"What'd it say?"

"Just that she," Brooke lowered her voice to a hushed whisper, "fucked up big time and she felt horrible about something. Not sure what she meant."

…..

 **#Tuckson**

 **#Cliff**


	23. Chapter 23

**The Day After Mother's Day…**

Olivia stepped into Ed's former apartment building and realized she didn't have the spare key on her ring. Luckily, the doorman recognized her, sent her up, and radioed the super to meet her at the apartment. After a few unanswered knocks, Olivia nodded to the burly man and he let her in.

"Want to keep the key, ma'am?" He asked as if he had better things to do, "Jack said you and your husband are the owners."

Olivia took the key. At best, Sarah would be nursing a painful hangover and would probably appreciate Olivia exercising some discretion. "Thanks. I'll leave it downstairs when I leave."

If Ed were there he would've cared less about discretion. Yesterday's drive home was spent mostly in silence as he calmed down, Noah slept, and Olivia worried about Sarah. However, when they got home, Olivia insisted on talking.

"I just don't get it," he griped, "She's all pissed off at Johnny, who was, by the way, completely out of line, and she decides to attack _me_?"

Even though Olivia was curious about Sarah's sudden one-eighty in regards to her father, she opted to divert the conversation in another direction. "I'm more concerned about her drinking."

The point took a few seconds to register. "You think it's that bad?"

"I think it's escalated."

Ed thought about the past year and a half or so. Sure, Sarah consumed what was probably an above average amount of alcohol, but she also consumed it, as far as Ed knew, at parties and other family functions where _everybody_ was drinking more than usual. Also, she was twenty-five years old, had been through an embarrassing divorce, and lived in a city where there were bars on every block. Then again, she'd passed out more than once after binging at their home, and now she'd flown completely off the handle and targeted him, Olivia, and, by extension, Noah. Inexcusable.

"She's been so…seemed so fine," Ed murmured. "Like, I thought she'd kinda moved on from Jeff and was settling in to the new job and happy. But she's playin' us."

Olivia wedged herself in the oversized chair next to Ed and nuzzled him, "I'll talk to her," she offered, "If you want me to."

"Better you than me."

Olivia looked at him quizzically, "What she said…it bothered you, I can tell."

"It's complicated, Liv."

"Tell me."

Ed sat up straighter so he could fully face her. "I thought the girls and I…thought we moved past all the crap with their mother. You know the story—she excused cheating on me with the bullshit about me never being there for her and the girls."

Olivia winced and let loose a faint gasp. Never before had Ed acknowledged that part of the story. He alluded to it several times, but he had always intentionally avoided explicitly admitting Angela began seeing her current husband while she and Ed were still married. To say it was to admit a certain degree of failure even though they were both to blame. Also, the breach of trust sharply wounded him. Marriage vows, in Ed's mind, were non-negotiable; if Angela had been unhappy, she should've worked on the marriage first.

"And they blamed you for a long time," Olivia said softly.

"I don't know if it was blame…but it was, I think, they didn't trust me. And they didn't trust her, especially when she dragged them out to Long Island to live. So they had each other and that was it. When Brooke went to college, that was when Sarah stopped talking to everyone—"

"Stopped talking to everyone?"

"Withdrawn. I think she felt abandoned."

Olivia understood. "That must have been horrible for her."

"Must have been," Ed replied dryly, "But she never _talked_ to anyone about it…so how was anyone supposed to help?"

"I didn't know she and Brooke ever had a problem like that."

"Sarah got over it after she graduated from high school and went to college herself. And then the two of them reconnected…and, at some point, came to the consensus that I wasn't the bad guy. Or so I thought."

Olivia played with the collar of Ed's shirt. "I think…she was upset today. And things she didn't mean flew out of her mouth. She wasn't even making sense when I talked to her outside. It'll be fine."

But now, as Olivia stepped gingerly through the living room of the apartment, she doubted her own advice.

"Sarah?"

No answer.

"Sare?" Olivia's footsteps echoed as she walked down the corridor to the bedrooms.

She rapped gently on Sarah's bedroom door.

Nothing.

A sick, sinking feeling erupted in the pit of Olivia's stomach as she pushed the door open. To her temporary relief, the bed was empty. The room itself was a mess, but that was not unusual. Olivia stepped around shoes and clothes to check the other side of the bed and then the closet. For good measure, she lifted the floral-printed duvet.

Empty.

After a call to Sarah's phone went straight to voicemail, she called a trusted TARU tech and asked him to dump the calls and texts made from Sarah's number in the past twenty-four hours.

"No more than an hour and I'll have it," he said.

"Thanks. Send it directly to me."

Next she called Ed. Had Sarah simply been nursing herself back to health after a night of drinking, Olivia would have considered keeping this temporary missing persons case to herself, but, they had a potentially nightmarish problem on their hands. The call went to voicemail, but Ed called right back.

"Hey, Liv, what's goin' on?"

Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. In her career she'd delivered the absolute worst news to families multiple times, but explaining to her husband that his daughter was missing suddenly proved excruciatingly difficult.

" _Ed_."

"Yeah? Everything ok?" Her breathless voice alarmed him.

"We can't get a hold of Sarah."

"Who's _we_?"

"Me and Brooke. Her boss…called Brooke today when Sarah didn't show up for work."

"Damnit."

"I'm at their apartment now. She's not here. And…I wouldn't really know if she had been here."

"Lemme call my mother. I thought she was staying there last night?"

Olivia heard the edginess in Ed's voice and knew he was regretting not demanding she ride back to Manhattan with them. "Let me know what she says. Maybe she's still there?"

"She shoulda still called her boss."

"Yeah, well, I had TARU dump her phone."

"Good thinkin."

"Do the girls have any close friends here in New York?"

"Close? I don't think so."

"I'll ask Brooke."

"Alright. I'll let you know what my mom says."

"Okay. Hopefully she's there…and her phone died."

"Yeah," Ed heaved a sigh into the phone, "I love you, baby."

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry your day got ruined yesterday. I didn't even get to give you your real present." Sarah, apparently forgetting the totality of Ed's instructions, had merely dropped off the painting and propped it against the wall in the office instead of hanging it in the bedroom on the hook Ed had installed specifically for the artwork.

"It wasn't ruined. And…you know I'm never very concerned about presents."

"You're gonna love this one."

"I'm sure I will," Olivia replied, trying to sound sincere while simultaneously shouldering the burden of worst-case Sarah scenarios.

"Tonight," Ed said firmly, "You'll get it tonight."

"I'll feel better thinking about it when we find Sarah."

"She's probably just sleepin' it off in Riverdale. I'm calling now."

"Let me know."

….

Ed failed to reach his mother on the first call, but it didn't matter. Olivia had just turned the key to lock the apartment door when she heard the elevator ding and saw Sarah's disheveled frame step into the corridor. She wore the same clothes she'd had on the day before—torn jeans and an oversized pink plaid flannel. She stepped gingerly, as if she'd been walking all night in her heeled booties. Her hair was tied back in two messy pigtails and the makeup that hadn't worn off congealed in the corners of her eyes.

Olivia took a deep, relieved breath. " _Sarah_. Thank God."

Tears of shame and humiliation welled in Sarah's eyes before they spilled over and cascaded in thick streams down her cheeks. She limped towards Olivia and fell into her arms, choking back sobs and shuddering.

Olivia held her for a minute or two. "C'mon. Let's go inside."

Sarah followed her into the apartment and leaned on the island while Olivia started coffee. It began brewing and she texted Ed and Brooke before turning her attention back to Sarah. Despite looking like she'd been out all night, her clothes weren't torn and she had no visible injuries; nevertheless, Olivia went into cop mode.

"Are you hurt?"

"Not physically," Sarah mumbled.

"Are you sure?"

"Nothing happened to me, Livvie. At least, not what you're thinking."

Olivia still looked at her skeptically. "Where were you?"

Sarah rubbed her temples furiously. "I need to shower and go to work. My boss is gonna be pissed."

"I think he's more worried at the moment. We all are, or, were."

Sarah gaped at Olivia. "How do you know my boss?"

"He called Brooke when you didn't show up today."

"Fuck."

"Where's your phone?"

"Here," Sarah slapped her purse, "It's dead. But you probably already knew that."

"Where did you go after we left yesterday?" Sarah sniffled and began to cry again. She shook her head back and forth vigorously and Olivia rushed to hold her. "Listen. Breathe. Calm down. Use my phone and call your boss."

"What am I gonna say?" Sarah managed to ask between taking gulps of air.

"Tell him you've been sick since last night, you took some medicine before bed, and just now woke up and realized your phone was dead."

" _Lie_?"

"Do you want to tell him the complete truth?"

"He'll know I'm lying."

"Tell him whatever you want," Olivia said, "But, the bottom line is, you have to tell him something. Either way, you're risking something."

"Uggggggh," Sarah growled and balled her fists, changing emotions on a dime. " _Fuck_. Fuck. _Fuuuuuck_." She swiped Olivia's phone and connected hers to the charger lying on the counter. She made the call and used Olivia's story rather than make up something else or tell the truth. After ending the call she stumbled to the couch and collapsed there, covering her face with her hands.

"What'd he say?"

"Feel better and he'd see me in the morning. And…not to take anymore pills. Great. He thinks I'm a pill popper now."

"Okay," Olivia said soothingly and took a seat in the armchair, "Well, that's one thing out of the way. You're not in trouble at work."

"But I am in trouble with you and with Dad and Grandma and Uncle John and probably Noah and Brooke and who knows who else."

"You're not in trouble with any of us."

"Livvie? Were you fucked up last night too? I remember what I said. At least, most of it. And I was horrible to you. I'm so sorry."

"Sarah, what's going on?" Olivia leaned forward, her elbows on her knees, and Sarah peeked at her through her fingers.

"I'm so fucked up."

"Can you be more specific?"

Sarah groaned again, sat up, and sipped the coffee. "My _life_. It's like. I just can't."

"Can't do what?"

"Oh fuck."

"What?"

"The painting."

Olivia scrunched up her face. "Painting?" She vaguely recalled Sarah mentioning a painting in yesterday's second rant.

"I was supposed to hang it in your bedroom yesterday before I went to Grandma's. But I didn't. I just remembered. No wonder Dad was pissed."

"He wasn't pissed."

"Yes he was. As soon as he got there he was all mad."

"He was tired of being out, that's all. He wanted to go home. I kept him at Amaro's for too long. That's on me. And…how would he have known you didn't hang it?"

Sarah pondered this point and sipped more coffee. "I guess he wouldn't have known."

Olivia dragged Sarah back to the original question. "What can't you do, Sare? What's goin' on?"

Sarah wiped away freshly formed tears. "It's like, nothing goes right. Nothing. I can't do anything right. My job…I hate it, I'm always behind, I don't understand, so I end up acting like this girly flirty mess. I fucked up with Jeff, and, it's like, where am I going to meet someone new? Bars? The office? Do you know how hard it is to find someone to be in relationship with?"

Olivia thought the question was probably rhetorical, but she answered anyway. "Yes. I do."

 _I'm sure Dad, you'll figure out some way to FUCK THIS UP._

A horrified expression crossed Sarah's face as last night's words drifted back into memory. "Oh no," she moaned. "Oh, oh, fuck, oh man, Livvie, I. Am. So. Sorry."

"I, er, your Dad and I know you didn't mean what you said."

Sarah twisted her lips skeptically, " _Dad_?"

"Ok, I know you didn't mean it. Or, I know there's something else going on that made you say that."

"I'm horrible."

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am," Sarah shot back, "Look at me. Jealous. So, so, so fucking jealous." Genuine remorse filled Sarah's eyes. "I didn't mean what I said," she mumbled. "I just really, really, really want what you and Dad have and I feel like it's never gonna happen. You're so. _Perfect_."

"We certainly are not."

"Don't give me that story about how you hated each other thirty or whatever years ago," Sarah scoffed, "Right now you're perfectly happy. In _love_. And Dad's so in love with Noah and it's like…what the fuck? Why is he all into family now?"

Ed would have to answer that question, but Olivia put in her two cents. "Sarah, we are happy. But we're certainly not perfect, and we had to work through those imperfections before we ever got to _happy_. We've both made mistakes, and we've learned a lot about ourselves and about each other. A lot of things seem to have gone wrong with your Mom and Dad, and they didn't handle it particularly well, and…you and Brooke got stuck in the middle navigating it all and growing up at the same time."

"And neither one of them ever said one fucking word to us," Sarah replied bitterly, "It was just Mom hating Dad and Dad trying to pretend everything was ok."

"I'm sure they both regret it."

"It would be nice to know that."

"You and your Dad should sit down and have a talk," Olivia said as she exhaled a deep breath, "Without drinks. Just the two of you."

"Ugh."

"It's the only way, Sare."

"Livvie, what I said, about Noah, I don't want you to think I hate him. I love him with all my heart and I would seriously do anything for him."

"I know."

Sarah groaned again and whined, "My _head_. I need to eat."

"Sare, there's one more thing."

" _Gawwwd_. What else did I say?"

"It's not that."

"Then, what?"

Olivia took another deep breath. "I'm worried…that…you have all this inner turmoil bubbling below the surface and…instead of dealing with it, uh, productively, you're going a quick fix with alcohol." Sarah frowned and Olivia wondered if, perhaps, she'd taken the wrong approach. "And I'm worried, because I've done the same thing."

Sarah's eyes widened, "You have?"

"I was…flirting with disaster."

Sarah swallowed hard. "Was it because of that guy?" She'd been warned by her father never to bring up William Lewis, and she couldn't even remember his name, but Sarah sensed this was an extraordinary occasion.

Olivia took it in stride and answered honestly. "Partly. And also…after that…I was promoted to Sergeant. And, the stress of being in charge and then of being a single mom…it got to me. And it was easy to uncork a bottle at night and feel more optimistic for a while."

"But you still drink."

"I do, but it's not my stress reliever anymore."

"Because you have Daddy now?"

"Well, sure, having him in my life, having someone so solid, that made a huge difference, but also," Olivia bit her lip and tried to steady her increasingly wavering voice, "I—I realized what I was doing to myself was what my mother did…and she lost control, Sarah. She fell apart and became a miserable, violent, abusive alcoholic, and, I think, well, I've had so much trouble staying in relationships until now because I never understood what a mutually loving relationship was like. I've always been in self-preservation mode. Until your Dad made me realize I didn't have to do that anymore; that…there were still good guys out there who were willing to give just as much as I was willing to give. I knew I had to get a handle on the drinking because I do not, _ever_ , want to put Noah through what I had to go through."

"Your mom," Sarah said, almost in a whisper, "there were good times though?"

"Sure," Olivia admitted, "but it's confusing and…terrifying…to have so much anger towards someone and also love them and want to understand them and take care of them. And she was all I had. I've made excuses for her over and over, but, at the end of the day, she did the best she could with the hand she was dealt." Olivia reached over and took Sarah's wrist, "I've been dealt a completely different hand…and my story will be different from hers."

Sarah looked down at Olivia's grip and then back up to her soulful brown eyes, "So what do I do?"

"You have to forgive. It's hard. But you cannot hang onto the anger you're feeling. You can't continue to _speculate_ about why your Dad did what he did and why your Mom did what she did. Talk to them, Sarah. I know it's hard, but, I know for a fact, your Dad wants to talk to you. He loves you."

Sarah thought about the day Ed took her to Philadelphia and replayed the conversation he started by telling her he was worried. Yes, her Dad would talk. And be honest. All she had to do was ask. "And my Mom?"

"I don't know her well at all, but I can't imagine a mother refusing a request like that."

"And what about my mess of a freaking personal life?"

"For that…you have to forgive yourself."

"Have you forgiven your mother?"

Olivia allowed a few seconds of silence to go by as she pictured her mother both in a drunken rage and in one of her rare moments of clarity. "Yes, but she died before I could tell her."

"Oh." Sarah, crestfallen, sunk back into the couch.

Olivia smiled gently, "You don't have to be close to her, Sarah, but at least tell her, diplomatically, how you feel. Maybe, you'll get a little perspective. You don't have to agree with how she handled everything, but maybe you can start to understand."

"Understand…" Sarah murmured.

"And if the drinking…if it's too hard to—"

"I know."

"Your boss won't be so forgiving next time."

"There won't be a next time," Sarah replied, sounding more confident and less self-loathing.

"And maybe if you…felt better and had a clearer head, work would be easier?"

"Probably."

"And you don't have to do this alone," Olivia moved to the couch and put her arm around Sarah's shoulders. "All of us love you and we're here for you and you don't have to pretend that everything's okay when it's not."

Sarah nestled her head between Olivia's chin and shoulder. "Don't take this the wrong way, but…you and Daddy being so happy…I felt like I had to pretend. I mean, why would you want to deal with all my crap?"

"We love you, Sarah. That's what families do."

"Helluva life," she said cynically, moving back to her side of the couch.

"But we have too many good times to give up on each other."

"Yeah."

"So, where were you?" Olivia still wasn't convinced Sarah was physically unharmed.

"Promise not to tell Daddy?"

Olivia shook her head, "I can't do that."

"Sorry," Sarah muttered, "I shouldn't have even asked. I, uh, I did what I do…I'd said horrible things and I was so embarrassed and mad at myself, so I made it worse. I called a guy I knew in college and we drank more and, well, I slept with him…and for a few minutes I felt really good."

"You slept with him?" Olivia asked, parroting her for clarification.

"Yes Livvie. Totally consensual. On me. And yes, I'm sure. And yes, I feel like shit in more ways than one."

"Ok," Olivia stood up and opened the curtains with a flourish, letting in a stream of bright sunlight, "You're alive. You have your job. You have a sister and a brother and two parents…all within ten blocks…who are here for you. Tomorrow's a new start for Sarah."

"You think of yourself as my parent?" Sarah scratched her head, mussing her already untidy blonde hair.

The question surprised Olivia, "Well, sure."

Sarah covered her face with her hands again, "And look how I treat you. Ugh. _What I said_. I can't believe you even came looking for me."

"I've already forgiven you. Listen, I have to go. Are you okay here by yourself?"

"Yeah," Sarah stood up and stretched, "I need to shower and eat something. I'll be fine. And, I'll call Daddy later."

"I'm so glad you're safe."

"Me too. Thanks, Livvie. Again, I'm so, so-"

"Remember what I said about forgiving yourself," Olivia interjected. "Now's your chance to try." She gave Sarah one more firm hug before leaving. "I love you, sweet girl."

"I love you, too."

….

After Olivia sent texts back and forth with Brooke and Ed, she went back to work for the rest of the afternoon and was able to leave at a decent hour. On the way home she shopped for dinner; she felt like doing her version of cooking and purchased pre-marinated steaks and pre-prepared veggie casserole. The casserole could be heated in the microwave, and the steaks were easily prepared in the broiler.

When she arrived home to what she thought was an empty apartment, she immediately turned on the broiler and sorted through the mail while it heated. Opening a bottle of wine felt a tad hypocritical, but she poured two glasses anyway, knowing she and Ed would probably not even come close to finishing the bottle.

"When she comin?"

Olivia heard Noah's hushed voice emanating from the direction of their bedroom. She took another look into the foyer and, sure enough, Noah's everyday sneakers and Ed's usual wingtips were parked neatly by the door. With her hands full, she'd missed them when she entered.

Olivia tiptoed towards the hallway.

"Shhh, bud. She'll come in. She hasta change clothes."

"Mommy weared bwazer."

"Yeah."

The room was lit only by Olivia's reading lamp which had been contorted to shine its light directly on the painting. Her hand flew to her heart as she gasped. "Oh. _My_."

"Surprise!"

"Happy Muvvers Day!"

Stunned, Olivia could do nothing other than gawk at the painting. There they were, the three of them posing along the river with all of the glitz and elegance of Paris in the background. Ed came up behind her and kissed her on the neck. "Like it?"

"It's, um, amazing. I'm…shocked. How did you do this?"

"Guy at the frame shop recommended an artist…but the idea…that was from Noah."

Olivia stooped down to Noah's eye level. "It was?"

"Uh-uh. I drawed Paris, too!"

"Yeah," Ed said softly, "He was copying one of our pictures and I got this idea…and we needed somethin' else in here, so it worked out perfectly."

Perfectly.

"I love it," Olivia turned around to give Ed a proper kiss.

"Mommy! Somfin beep!"

"Oh," she cooed, her lips still on Ed's, "It's the broiler. Steaks okay for dinner?"

"Of course," Ed replied, "I got dessert."

Olivia narrowed her eyes playfully, "As in…"

"Actual food," Ed answered with a smirk, "But we can, uh, have it in here…ya know…as we admire the artwork?"

"You're too much," Olivia whispered in his ear, lightly biting the lobe as she pulled away.

"Mommy! Da beep!"

Ed shivered, "Better take care of the beep…or you're gonna have to take care of _me_ instead."

Olivia grinned and answered Noah while staring deeply into her husband's eyes, "Okay, sweet boy. Let's make dinner."

"I arreddy eated dinner!"

"You did?"

"Uh-huh. Daddy got me a hoddog. Wiff mustard! An…no SPILLING!"

Olivia was still grinning at a now-sheepish Ed, "Well, I think you should try some steak and veggies anyway. Just a few bites."

"Okaaaaayyyyyy!" Noah shouted as he sprinted to the kitchen ahead of his parents.

"Hot dogs," Olivia said mischievously, "I…I don't think…those are on many athletes' diet plans these days."

Ed was self-deprecating. "They are on the spoiled son diet plan though."

"That they are," Olivia replied whimsically. "At least you're admitting it now."

…

 **#Tuckson**

 **Ed and Sarah convo coming soon….**

 **And what about Miss Melia?**

 **And Carooke?**


	24. Chapter 24

**24**.

Olivia poked her head in the office after an extended lull of silence and saw Ed stretched out on the old brown sofa with his fingers clasped behind his head. He'd dropped his phone on the floor and his chest heaved as he took long, deep breaths.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Ed answered without looking back at her. He waved his arm, "C'mere."

Olivia took a seat on the edge of the cushion and put a hand on his chest. "Short call."

"We're meeting tomorrow. She wants to _talk_."

"It's not going to be easy, Ed, but it really is for the best."

He sat up a little and pulled Olivia so she reclined against his chest. "Am I supposed to apologize? For what happened when she was a kid? She's the one who owes me, us, an apology. She's too old to act like that. We all had shit growing up. At some point she's gotta get over it."

"Just hear her out," Olivia suggested. "Let her do the talking. She's…well…she hasn't been able to get over you and Angela splitting up. She, uh, she has, at least, what I gathered, she has some misconceptions about how everything shook out."

"Oh I know. My ex did a very good job making everything my fault. What the hell was I supposed to do? I was _working_ for Chrissakes. Supporting my family…" Ed trailed off.

Olivia felt him grow rigid with agitation. "Do you know," she said slowly, hesitantly, unsure whether or not Ed wanted to delve more deeply into what Sarah said, "Do you…have any idea what she meant?"

"By saying I'll find some way to fuck this up?" Ed snapped. Olivia shot back up into a seated position and he immediately regretted the hostile tone. " _Liv_. I'm sorry. I…I'm frustrated."

"And worried?"

"A little."

"Angry?"

Remorse and sadness filled Ed's blue eyes, "I would never forgive myself if I did something to ruin us."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothin," Ed squirmed uncomfortably, "It's…Liv…you know the story. We went in two separate directions and neither one of us, well, the girls always had everything they needed, uh, material-wise, I'm so mad at myself that I didn't think to make sure they were…mentally okay. It seemed… _I don't know_."

"Like something their mother should do?"

Ed cringed. "Yeah."

"Sarah would probably appreciate hearing that."

"Hearing that I was too much of a _man_ to really care about her and Brooke?"

"No," Olivia replied soothingly, "Hearing that you realize you made a mistake."

Ed groaned. "I was young. Trying to make Sergeant. And…" He went silent and rubbed his eyes vigorously.

"And what?"

He took a pained breath, "In a marriage I didn't believe in." He and Olivia stared at each other for a few seconds, processing what Ed had just said. "But, Liv…you gotta trust me, please, that I _believe_ in us. You're the one I was always supposed to be with, and I'm not even mad that it took us so long to get here, the rest of my life…it's all about making you and Noah happy…making sure we're all happy…how long am I gonna have to pay for what happened twenty years ago?"

Defeat clouded Ed's entire demeanor and all Olivia could do was hug him. She pressed her cheek to his and caressed the back of his head. "I trust you, Ed. I love you so much. And I," she started choking up, "I believe in us, too. Sarah loves you, and she regrets what she said, but an honest conversation will help her understand where you're coming from…where you've been…" Olivia leaned her head back and met his glistening eyes, "and maybe appreciate how much you've changed."

"I'm so in love with you."

"Me too."

"You'll tell me…if you feel like we're sliding off the rails?"

"Yes," she firmly replied, "And you'll do the same?"

"Absolutely."

….

For the first time in a while, Olivia slept fitfully, waking up from dreams she couldn't quite remember and then taking several minutes to fall back asleep. Finally, shortly after five, she decided to go ahead and start her day.

Ed felt her lack of presence immediately.

"Whaddya doin?"

"Getting up."

"You alright?"

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

Olivia showered and used Noah's bathroom to blow dry her hair. After drinking a cup of coffee and flipping through a few news websites, she returned to the master bathroom to fix her hair and makeup. The sun had not completely risen and, perked up by the caffeine, she looked forward to arriving at the precinct early. Working for a couple hours without interruptions would be extremely productive.

She released the last section of hair from the curling wand when Ed entered the bathroom clad in only a pair of black boxers. He eyed the emerald blouse and black blazer hanging nearby; she was already wearing the matching slacks.

"Morning," he mumbled into her bare neck.

She leaned her head back, giving him more room to explore. "I told you to go back to sleep."

"Can't. You're not there."

Olivia chuckled at what she perceived to be his silliness.

"I'm _serious_." He pressed his body flush with hers and continued moving his lips against her skin, down her shoulder and then along the line of her shoulder blade. His hands slid from her waist to her breasts massaging them over her bra. Pausing momentarily, he glanced at their reflection in the mirror and smirked. "God, you're gorgeous."

Olivia reached for her eyeliner, but Ed gently removed the tube from her hand, deposited it back on the counter, and unbuttoned her pants. "So, damn, gorgeous," he whispered, sounding enamored as ever as he slid his hand down the front of her pants. "It's almost criminal," he growled playfully, "how fucking beautiful you are."

Olivia closed her eyes and assisted by tugging at the zipper. Ed moaned, appreciating her consenting to the morning's abrupt change of plans.

The pants fell to a heap on the tile floor.

The bra and panties landed on top.

The boxers followed.

Ed suddenly gripped both her hands and started walking out of the bathroom.

"Where are we going?" Olivia gasped, disappointed because her nerves were on fire and she wanted him right there and then. _Immediately_.

"C'mon."

" _Ed_."

"Sun's comin' up." He kept his body against hers as he led her to the living room.

" _Ed_ …" Olivia gasped, " _Noah_."

"He's asleep. I gotta do this, Liv. _Look_." Ed stopped nipping at her earlobe and jerked his head toward the windows. The rising sun cast an orange glow across the skyline. Bathed in the early light, the buildings took on an impressionist façade, almost like they belonged in the Paris painting. "I wanna make love to you _here_. Even though," he laid Olivia on the chaise part of the sectional, "I dunno if I can take all this at once." He flicked his fingers between her legs before thrusting into her, "But Imma try."

" _Ed_ ," Olivia gasped as she looped her legs around him.

Their eyes met for a few seconds. Ed slowed his movements and gently stroked Olivia's face, "I love us here, Liv."

She threw her head back, and, having trouble forming words in the midst of Ed's lovemaking, managed to huff a labored, "Me too."

…

Later that day, Ed left work early so he could get Noah ready for soccer practice before meeting Sarah. At day care, Ed went unnoticed at first and stood off to the side observing Noah play with two other boys. They'd constructed a bridge-like structure with blocks and were taking turns rolling a dump truck underneath. The truck was too big for the opening, and the bridge inevitable crashed, to the boys' delight, each time.

In the throes of laughter, Noah leaned his head back and caught sight of the tall figure in the suit.

His Daddy.

Noah abandoned his friends and the toys and rushed over at full speed. Ed hoisted him high in the air.

"Hey, bud! Good day?"

Noah ignored the question, "We go to soccer?" He'd been asking about soccer since the last practice.

"Yep. Today's soccer day." Ed gathered Noah's bag and jacket, exchanged a few words with one of the teachers, and he and Noah walked the short distance to the apartment. Along the way, Noah practiced his kicks, jabbing the air with his little legs, and occasionally knocking himself off balance. Ed held his hand, steadying him.

At home, Noah's regular clothes were swapped for shorts and a t-shirt. Ed pulled on the long socks over the shin guards and reached for Noah's sneakers.

"No, Daddy! Da keets!"

"Nah, pal, we wear sneakers to the field and put the cleats on there. That way, they stay nice and sharp."

Noah gingerly put his fingers on the spikes. "Not sharp."

"No, not like a knife, but they still have a point. It helps grip the grass so you don't slip."

Ed smiled as Noah twisted his lips, considering the argument. He loved how Noah questioned almost everything lately. "I carry da keets?"

"Sure."

"Daddy, I hungey."

"Whatcha want for a snack?"

"Pizza."

"That's not a snack," Ed opened the pantry, "how 'bout some fruit snacks?"

"No."

Ed held out a Nature Valley Oats and Honey bar, "Want this?"

"No."

He inspected the refrigerator next, "Apples?"

"Okay! Wiff da dip?"

They did have caramel dip, but time was not on their side. Ed opened a small bag of sliced apples and handed it to Noah. "We have to walk and eat, No, or we'll be late for practice."

"Kay Daddy! Got da bag?"

Ed slung the large duffle bag over his shoulder. Its contents included a sweatshirt, sweatpants, the soccer ball, and a water bottle. "Got it. And, we'll put the cleats in there until you're done with the apples."

Mouth full, Noah nodded.

In the elevator, Ed explained that Olivia was meeting them at practice and would stay with Noah because Daddy had to meet Sarah. Noah accepted this without argument.

"When you see Mommy, make sure you hug and kiss her and tell her 'I love you.'"

"Like dis?" Noah squeezed Ed's leg.

"Yep! Just like that!"

"Lubbyou, Daddy!"

Ed mussed Noah's hair and gazed down adoringly at his son, adorably decked out in mini-soccer gear. "Love you too, Noah."

Noah giggled and popped another apple slice in his mouth.

….

Sarah waited patiently at the Columbus Circle entrance to Central Park. She leaned against the stone gate and absent-mindedly toggled through her photos. Most of them were familiar, but a few were not. Since talking with Olivia, Sarah had been spending hours and hours in self-reflection. It was only then when she realized how she'd been burning the candle at both ends—going in to work early to try and catch up and unwinding and dealing with stress at the end of the day by stopping for two or three cocktails and then opening a bottle of wine at home. She hadn't had a drop of alcohol since Mother's Day, and in the short time between then and now, she felt her head start to clear and the exhaustion begin to dissipate. On the way to the park she passed several pubs and desperately wanted to stop in for a shot, but she fought the urge. Olivia specifically suggested she and Ed have their conversation sans booze, and Sarah wasn't about to go against her Livvie's advice. Even though Olivia seemed confident Ed was capable of forgiveness and having an honest talk, Sarah feared he would hold a grudge because of her outburst.

When Ed arrived late he apologized for being late and explained he'd been delayed at the soccer fields by Noah's coach. Sarah shrugged and managed a tiny, understanding smile. Even though she didn't seem annoyed or agitated, a sudden realization dawned on Ed.

"Is that what this is all about?" He asked as they set off along the path.

"Is that what what's all about?"

Avoiding using the word _jealousy_ , Ed replied, "I think I get it, Sare. You wanna know why I'm happy now and wasn't happy when you were growing up."

"That's…" Sarah scrunched up her face, "Um, well, I dunno, but, since you brought it up…"

Ed began reflectively, "Your mom and I, we, look, I probably shoulda said something to you before you got married because," Ed sighed, stopped walking, and moved over to the path's edge so they didn't block pedestrian traffic. "You wanna sit or keep walking?"

"Walk."

"Alright, well, I knew you were getting' in to something that wasn't gonna end well. I recognized it because you reminded me of _me_. Your mom and I…we'd been seeing each other for a while, both working hard, trying to make money, ya know, and…I think we both just thought, hey, marriage is what we're supposed to do next. It was almost like it was easier to get married than think about whether or not we were really happy."

Sarah fought back tears, so Ed continued.

"I love all my kids, Sare. _All_ of you. Equally. The thing is, when you were growing up, I was still growing up. Your mom decided to go back to school, I was trying to get promoted—all of this for you and Brooke to have a good life. We _both_ thought that way. It's just…her idea of a good life and mine, uh, diverged at some point and…what was already a shaky marriage…it fell apart."

Calming down, Sarah sipped her coffee and they walked in silence for a bit as she processed what her father told her. When she finally started talking, her voice was steady and full of resolve and maybe a bit of relief. "I wish…you and mom…it always seemed like you were, um, _handling_ us. Whose weekend was it? Who was buying school uniforms? Who had which holiday and who was taking who where. It's like…now? You _care_ about everything—not just… _logistics_."

Sarah was absolutely correct, and the facts stung Ed. "I'm truly sorry for that, Sarah. I really am. I regret it, but, you gotta, please, try to understand, I thought I was doin' the right thing at the time. That's what most people _do_ , ya know, they do the best they can, and I made a mistake. Which is why, now, to use your words, I'm _not_ fucking this up." Sarah winced. Ed felt apologetic for a split second, but he couldn't help getting in a passive-aggressive barb. He was still pissed about what she said. "I figured some things out. I _learned_. People learn and change, Sarah, _forever_. And I hope you can forgive me for…not totally being there for you…I'm sorry for that, but you gotta believe, it wasn't intentional, at least, at the time, I didn't think I was doing anything to hurt you."

Sarah's eyes filled with tears, "Daddy, I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I think, it came from a place, deep down, I'm…so _frustrated_ …with a lot of things and sometimes it's hard to see you with Livvie and Noah because, _I want that_ , and I'm wondering how many times I'm going to have to fuck up before I get it."

Ed stopped walking and sat on a bench. "Come here." His voice and face bordered on cop mode now as he got serious, "Stop thinking like that. If you think like that, you go into everything with the wrong attitude."

"I already screwed up one marriage," Sarah countered, "Maybe…if I woulda worked harder."

Ed shook his head, "That's not what marriage should be like, at least, not at first and not all the time."

"Why do you and Livvie work and you and Mom didn't?"

At this question, Ed and Sarah shared a laugh.

"Ok, ok," she said, "Dumb question."

Ed gave his daughter a gentle side hug and kissed her on the cheek, "Olivia is…extraordinary."

"She's so _good_."

"One of my buddies said that once."

"And you didn't kick his ass?"

"Nah. He was right after all."

Sarah laid her head on his shoulder, "Daddy, I really am sorry."

"I know. But also, John shouldnta said that to you."

"He called and apologized."

"I shoulda said something then," Ed admitted, "But I was furious."

"You had every right to be. And…being so…drunk…made it worse for everybody."

More silence. The two of them watched people walk and jog past as they tried to figure out what to say next.

"Livvie made some good points about my, uh, rocky relationship with alcohol."

"She did?" Ed was only mildly surprised.

"Yes, and, I'm gonna work on that. It's just…I feel like I'm always searching…and…having drinks…it makes it feel like that search isn't so daunting."

"I understand. But, if you let the booze take over, it'll ruin your life. And I don't want that, obviously."

Sarah nodded. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this."

"If you wanna know what I think, it's, well, focus on your career right now. I know you're struggling with it, but maybe you'll feel better if you really dedicate yourself to being good at it. You're too smart to half-ass your way through all these projects you talk about."

"True."

"And you can't force a relationship. Look how long I had to wait for Liv."

"Oh _stop._ You weren't _waiting_ for her."

Ed looked offended, "Sure I was. You don't think I was jealous of her old boyfriend? Who I had to work with for a while? Knowing he got to go home to _her_?" Ed blew a disgusted breath, "Torture."

"That really sounds like it sucked."

"It did. But…you never know what's gonna happen."

"Daddy," Sarah's eyes widened and they glistened with mischief, "Did you break them up?"

Ed laughed and continued beaming at his daughter. He loved her this way—playful, silly, and unabashedly curious even if her curiosity occasionally bordered on the inappropriate. "Of course not," he replied, "She figured out he wasn't good enough for her, then, all I had to do was prove that I _was_."

"That musta been hard."

"At first."

"When did you know you loved her? Like, really, really, really, had to have her…not just attracted to her?"

Ed decided to indulge her with some private details; the occasion seemed to call for it. "You remember the whole thing with Eugene?"

" _Yes_ ," Sarah replied with a disgusted expression.

"During that whole time, I kept waitin' for her to say, _you know what, Tucker? This isn't gonna work_. I kept waitin' for her to doubt me, to look at me like, _what did you do_? And she never did. She defended me. When I thought I was gonna haveta retire, she was right there beside me, giving me pep talks, vowing to fix it, to fight it. And it was the first time I'd ever had somebody on my side like that, she was unconditionally _with me_ , she loved me even though we were both in the middle of a gigantic crisis…and through it all she made me feel like I was still… _a good man_."

"And Noey makes you feel like a good dad."

"He does."

"He loves you so much, it's so funny, he wants to be just like you. Doesn't that make Olivia a little mad sometimes?"

Ed shrugged, "I don't think so. She's, uh, she thought, when she first got Noah, that she'd be a single mom forever. She's thrilled he has what she didn't have. And…she loves our family." Ed nudged Sarah's chin with his knuckle, "Our _entire_ family."

Slightly embarrassed, Sarah looked down at the bench. "So do I."

"So we can move forward? You're okay…with us?"

Sarah nodded. "I am. And I love you Daddy." She reached out to embrace him, "You are a good Dad, you'd do anything for us, I know it."

"I would."

"I'm sorry I'm so… _dramatic_."

Ed smiled at her. "Yeah…I really don't know where you get that."

"I think Grandma Caroline."

Ed thought about his spunky mother. "Yep. That must be it."

….

On the sidelines of Soccer Field B, Ed and Olivia Tucker lounged in their new folding chairs Ed purchased specifically for soccer season. When folded, the chairs fit neatly into a plastic tube with a convenient shoulder strap. Olivia couldn't help but chuckle to herself as they arrived at the field looking exactly like everyone else. Ed even agreed to leave the gun at home; however, he insisted on bringing the shield.

A few feet away, Noah warmed up with his team. Clad in their black jerseys, they were lined up to take turns kicking practice shots at their coach who served as the goalie. At first, Noah kept looking over at his parents and either smiling or waving, but as the line moved more quickly, he concentrated on the drill.

"I can't believe these kids are actually going to play a _game_ ," Olivia remarked, "Although, I am impressed the warmup looks so organized."

"That coach knows what he's doin," Ed replied.

"You would know," Olivia teased.

Ed reached over, cupped her head, and pulled her over for a kiss, "I love you, even though your attitude about kid soccer could use some adjustment."

Olivia laughed and gazed sweetly at her husband, "Let's see how all this goes," she gestured to the field, "And then maybe I'll work on it."

"You're gonna be surprised."

"If you say so."

Both Ed and Olivia jerked their heads when they heard Noah's coach call his name. They laughed when they realized what was happening. Brooke and Sarah had entered from the opposite gate and were walking along the edge of the field; Noah spotted them immediately and ran over to say hello. Most spectators were dressed in Saturday morning casual—workout gear or jeans. Brooke wore jeans and a sweatshirt, but Sarah refused conformity. She wore gray skinny jeans with high-heeled booties and a long, flowy, pink-and-white tunic and accessorized with a floppy, wide-brimmed, off-white hat and oversized aviators. Her hair tumbled in soft waves over her shoulders and upper back.

Noah wasn't the only one distracted by her appearance. His coach waited patiently for his return.

"Hi Noey!" Even though his cleats were caked with dirt, she picked him up for a bear hug, "How's my bro?"

"We warmin' up!"

"I see that."

Brooke kissed the top of his head, "I love your uniform."

"I da one-eight!"

" _Eighteen_ ," Sarah corrected.

"You better get back out there," Brooke said, "It looks like the game is about to start."

Noah squirmed out of Sarah's grasp and she put him down, "Go, Noah. And don't forget to score a goal for me!"

Noah kicked the air, "I use dese keets to run fast!"

"Love the cleats."

"Noah," Brooke urged, "Go over to your team, buddy. We'll be with mom and dad."

"Kay, Brookey."

"Good luck!" Sarah called as he ran back to his coach.

Sarah and Brooke made their way over to Olivia and Ed.

"Nervous, Dad?" Brooke asked.

Ed played along, "A little. One of you can have this chair."

Olivia smiled up at the girls and added an eye roll as Ed stood up and moved closer to the field. Noah's team won the coin toss and was set to kick off.

"Go ahead, Sarah," Brooke said, "You sit. I don't know why you wore those heels."

Sarah frowned, "Brookey, you have no style."

Olivia and Brooke ignored Sarah because player one-eight on the black team had broken away from the seemingly hopelessly intertwined knot of miniature soccer players.

"Go Noah!" Brooke shouted.

Sarah jolted from the chair and, despite the heels and the soggy ground, jogged over to stand next to Ed. "Omigod, omigod, omigod."

Brooke stood behind Olivia and dug her fingers into the older woman's shoulders.

The other kids trailed Noah, but they were several feet behind him when he caught up with the ball. The other team's goalie, startled by twenty kids descending upon him, abandoned his post and Noah easily booted the ball into the net.

The referee blew his whistle.

"GOALLLLL!"

Ed and Sarah raised their arms triumphantly.

"Yay, NOAH!" Brooke shouted.

Olivia, unable to contain her excitement, stood up and clapped her hands right along with all the other black-team parents. Her smile grew wider as Noah gave high fives to his teammates and stopped to talk to Sarah before rejoining his team.

"I kick da ball in da net!" He exclaimed. "You see it, Sare bear?"

Sarah stooped down to his eye level, "I saw it Noey! Great job! You scored a goal for me! I _loooooooove_ you so much! But you gotta go back and keep playing."

"Kay!" Noah said as he ran back to his team.

Brooke and Olivia took their seats while Ed and Sarah remained shoulder-to-shoulder on the sidelines for the rest of the game. Their bodies jerked each time Noah looked like he could possibly break away for another goal. Only one other kid managed to score that morning. Late in the game, another member of the black team wound up for a monster kick. It was perfectly placed and had amazing velocity considering it had been kicked by a kid weighing in at only thirty pounds.

The ball landed in the back of the net.

Of his own goal.

The game ended in a 1-1 tie.

Afterwards, the Tuckers headed off for an early lunch. Everyone gushed over Noah's performance. He smiled and giggled at first but then became oblivious to the chatter as he enjoyed the cityscape from atop Ed's shoulders.

"When's the next game?" Sarah asked.

"Same time, same place Saturday," Ed answered.

"We'll be there," Brooke said.

"I'm on duty next weekend," Olivia reported.

"Don't worry, Livvie," Sarah said, "We'll cheer extra loud."

The family continued on to the restaurant as Ed explained how he and Noah were going to practice kicking the ball with his left foot instead of his natural right during the next week. "Coach says that's a good skill to practice early on," He added, feeling the need to justify the extra practice. "Right, No?"

"Right, Daddy!" Noah exclaimed, not really knowing what he was agreeing to.

Olivia slid her arm around Ed's waist and ambled along at his side. "You're such a good Dad," she murmured.

"Thought ya think I'm a little _too_ good when it comes to soccer?"

"No such thing," Olivia replied, "I love it."

Ed smirked proudly. Ahead of him Sarah and Brooke walked along, chattering away. Sarah's arms flew about as she spoke; even though she still had a lot on her mind, he was glad to see the fun-loving personality return. Olivia gripped him more tightly and, even though it made walking more difficult, he leaned into her and soaked up the love and contentment radiating between them—it was a familiar but precious feeling, one he would clutch with a death grip for the rest of his life.

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	25. Chapter 25

**25\. There's like, well, not a lot of plot here…but, whatev…#Tuckson fluff is plot enough I suppose.**

"Ok, Fin, gimme thirty minutes and I'll be there."

Olivia partially kicked off the covers and lay flat on her back for a few seconds, blinking rapidly at the dark ceiling, trying to fully come into consciousness before getting out of bed. Beside her, Ed was asleep on his stomach, his face smashed into the pillow. With his lips pursed and partially open and his face relaxed, he reminded her of Noah—so peaceful and innocent. Many times Ed's and Noah's expressions resembled one another which, of course, in Noah's case, was learned. Briefly, she allowed herself to wonder what their biological child would have looked like had they met sooner, and she absorbed a flutter of regret that that hadn't been the case. At any rate, with his brown hair and blue eyes, Olivia-Ed offspring probably would have closely resembled Noah.

"Ed," she whispered, not really wanting to wake him up but knowing he'd be annoyed if she didn't.

Only his lips moved.

"Ed, I have to go, gotta call."

"Mmmhmmm," he droned, blindly reaching for her.

She caught his hand. "See you later, ok?"

He nodded into the pillow and slurred something incomprehensible. Olivia assumed he was falling back asleep so she slung her legs over the side of the mattress.

" _Mmmmmm_ ," Ed whined insistently.

Olivia smiled, "What?"

"Kiss," he mumbled, sticking his lips out to meet hers.

She planted a smooch on him and his eyes shot open. "Careful, Lieutenant."

"I haveta go."

He pawed at her again, " _Then don't kiss me like that_."

"I'm sorry," Olivia stood up and stretched.

"Don't be." Ed's eyes fluttered closed and he nestled back into the pillow.

Used to middle-of-the-night wakeup calls, Olivia expedited her hair and makeup routine and, assuming Ed was back asleep, tiptoed out of the bedroom.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?" She stuck her head back in the room.

"Love you."

"Love you, too. See you tonight."

"I can't wait."

…

Olivia and the squad worked through the night and into the early morning hours on the case—a date rape reported by a Hudson University student. When they hit a brick wall, Olivia sent Fin and Carisi home to get some rest, and she and Rollins reviewed the evidence they'd collected so far, which wasn't much.

"We need that surveillance footage," Rollins muttered, annoyed with Hudson's administration dragging its feet. "I'm gonna go sit outside their offices until somebody gives it up."

Olivia nodded, "Okay. Good luck."

Rollins hit the desk with her fist, "I'm not comin' back without it."

Olivia yawned and spun around in her chair, thinking some sunlight would help wake her up. She'd had too much coffee and felt jittery in addition to being weighed down by the three a.m. wake up call.

"You alone, Lieutenant?"

She spun back around. Ed was in the doorway, smirking at her.

"Why are you dressed like that?"

Ed looked down at his attire—khakis and a black polo shirt. "I'm going to play golf. Cole had a foursome lined up and one guy canceled so he called me."

" _Golf_? You play golf?"

"I did…haven't played in at least two years, but, yeah. Cole knows I'll be rusty."

"Do you have clubs?"

"Sure, you've seen them, they're in our storage."

"They are?"

Ed furrowed his brow, "Lieutenant, I expected you to know every nook and cranny of that space. Sure. They're in there. Stuck in a corner, so I'll haveta go dig them out."

Olivia didn't feel like conjuring a visual image of the building's basement, so she took his word for it. "Okay, well, good luck. Have fun…it looks gorgeous out there."

"It is. But not," Ed added, "As gorgeous as _you_." Olivia blushed and Ed dropped a deli bag on her desk, "I didn't bring coffee 'cause I figured you'd already had gallons. But there's a bagel and a muffin in there. You gotta be hungry."

Olivia dug into the bag, "You are so sweet."

"Um, _thank you_?"

"Oh, sorry, _thank you_."

"No, Lieutenant, that's not what I meant," Ed walked around the desk, bent down, and, right before he kissed her, whispered, "Like this morning."

Olivia replicated the earlier kiss and smiled, still touching his lips. "There," she cooed, " _Thank you_."

"One more."

She obliged.

"We're goin' to some course on Staten Island. I gotta go, Cole's picking me up in fifteen minutes."

"You're going to be late."

"I had to see my wife." Ed winked as he started to leave, "But now I'm kinda disappointed…I didn't know the place would be _vacant_." His eyes darted around mischievously before settling on the sofa, " _One of these days_ …" he murmured, smirking devilishly.

"We'll see, Captain."

"That's not a no," he pointed out smugly.

"No," Olivia replied, smiling at him and feeling her cheeks get hot, "It certainly is not."

…

"Hey, Lieu, you mind if I call it a night?"

With the exception of his three-hour break earlier in the day, Carisi had been working nearly seventy-two straight hours so Olivia waved him away. "Have a good night."

"If I skip another dinner with Brooke, she may kick me to the curb," he added.

"Well, you better go, then," Olivia said with fake concern, "We all know how Captain Tucker can get…imagine when someone cancels too many dinners with his daughter."

He grinned. "What about you? You've been here since four."

"You know what? You're right. And it'll be nice to get Noah a little early." Olivia hastily grabbed her purse and decided to leave everything else where it was on her desk. She walked out with Carisi, leaving the unit in Rollins' care for the night.

"So, does Tucker usually pick up Noah these days?" Carisi asked, making small talk.

"He does," Olivia replied, "His schedule is significantly more structured than mine."

"Yeah. I don't know how parents do it. My sisters? It always seems like they're shuffling kids back and forth."

"That's tough. Lucky…we have Lucy still and Brooke and Sarah if we need them."

"You walking the whole way?" Carisi asked.

"I think so," Olivia replied, "It's such a nice day. I'll stop at the park with Noah on the way home. Ed's playing golf...he's probably still over on your old stomping grounds."

"Staten Island?"

"Yep."

" Alotta good courses over there."

"You golf?"

"I have."

"Well, if Ed gets hooked, maybe you two can play sometime."

"Yeah…hey!" Carisi almost jumped with excitement, "Why don't you and Noah join us for dinner? It'll be fun!"

Olivia cocked her head and gave Carisi a motherly grin, "You and Brooke should probably be alone…especially if you've had to cancel a few times?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, good point," he conceded sheepishly, " _Phew_ , almost screwed somethin' up big time, huh?"

"No, not big time." Olivia patted his arm, "You're a good guy, Carisi. You're always trying to make people happy. I appreciate that. But, you know, sometimes you have to prioritize."

"Did Brooke say somethin' to you?"

Carisi looked hurt.

"No, no, nothing like that. Just some friendly advice."

"Thanks Lieutenant."

"Anytime."

At the next corner, Carisi veered in the opposite direction. "I gotta go home and change," he explained, "I've been in this suit for two days."

At first, Olivia assumed he was exaggerating, but there was no hint of playfulness in his expression. "Good idea," she said.

"Tell Captain Tucker hello for me!"

"Will do."

….

Olivia was looking down at her phone reading a text message when she almost ran into someone coming out of Noah's daycare. She sidestepped the person, looked up, and noticed it was Miss Melia.

" _Amelia_ ," she said sweetly, holding out her hand, "Hey, Olivia Benson. I'm Noah's mom."

"Oh! Hello! We've met before, right?"

"We have. Noah just loves you, and he loves speaking Spanish. Thank you for working with him."

"Oh, he's a doll. I love him too." She clasped her hands over her heart.

"Listen," Olivia quickly sized up the young woman but sensed no distress, "Is everything okay? I heard a rumor you might be leaving."

Amelia swatted her hand around in the air, "Oh, no…just a mix up with my address. It's nothing. We cleared it up."

"Oh good," Olivia replied with obvious relief, "Good to hear."

Amelia's face fell slightly, "I am starting classes in the fall, so I'll have to cut back on hours."

"Well, that's better than not having you here at all."

She smiled gratefully, "Eventually, I want to be a Kindergarten or early elementary teacher. I love teaching these little ones!"

"Noah's sister Brooke, she picks him up sometimes, she's a teacher. Middle school. If you ever need…advice…anything, let me know and I'll put you in touch with her."

"Thank you so much!"

Amelia rushed off toward the subway and Olivia went to fetch Noah, thankful the vicious woman at soccer practice was spreading partially inaccurate information.

…..

"Where Daddy?"

Olivia carefully portioned chicken, rice, and carrots onto Noah's plate and handed him his child-sized utensils. She and her son ate dinner at the island where they shared most of their informal meals.

"Playing golf."

The sun was setting and the more accurate answer was _drinking beer with his old IAB buddies_ , but Noah didn't need to know that.

"Golf?"

"Yep," Olivia pulled up a picture on her phone, "This is golf."

" _Ohhhh_." Wheels turned in Noah's head and she wondered if he would soon request to play that sport, too. Noah gobbled his dinner quickly, even the carrots which he usually only touched after being prompted or bribed.

"You're hungry today, sweet boy."

"Uh-huh."

"Probably because you didn't have a hot dog or pizza after school."

Noah peered at his mother. "Nope," he replied, slyly giving up only the necessary information.

Olivia laughed and changed the subject. "Did you speak Spanish with Miss Melia today?

"Uh-huh."

"Whadja learn?"

Noah pointed to his head, "Cabeza." Then he held out his hand. "Mano."

"Wow! That's great!"

"Miss Melia say, muy Bueno!"

"Well, muy Bueno then!" Olivia grinned at Noah. "Do you want more?"

"No, fanks."

"Very polite. I love that, Noah. Do you say please and thank you at school with your teachers and your friends?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good."

"Well, let's have a cookie and…what do you want to do until bath time?"

"Play trains."

Olivia and Noah raced trains for a while, and Noah requested and received some extra time to draw another picture of "Mahattan" on the iPad app. He situated his beanbag in the living room facing the windows and worked on his project while Olivia half-watched reruns and paged through a magazine. She tucked Noah in a half hour past his bedtime, and Ed still wasn't home.

"I want Daddy," Noah said weakly as Olivia kissed him goodnight.

"I'll tell him to kiss you when he gets home, okay?"

"Kay."

Olivia made sure the nightlight was on and closed the bedroom door. Ed's last text reported he was on his way back to Manhattan, but he also said he and Cole were planning on a nightcap. Not wanting so be overbearing and knowing Ed rarely had nights out with friends, Olivia told him to have a good time.

He'd apparently taken the suggestion to heart, because when Ed stumbled in at half-past eleven, he'd clearly had his share of fun.

"Hey baby," he slurred. Olivia was stretched out on the couch and he knocked the coffee table as he made his way to her side and did his best to wedge himself between her and the back cushions, "Mmmmm, you smell so _good_."

"You smell like beer."

"We had a few beers," Ed admitted and buried his face in Olivia's damp hair, "You took a shower without me."

"Yeah, I did." Olivia craned her neck to look at him all pouty with droopy eyes. "How'd ya golf?"

"I was not the worst," Ed reported proudly. "Not the best either. But…at least I beat Dodds."

" _Chief Dodds_?"

"Yep, that's the one."

"I thought it was IAB people."

"Me too, but, we pull up to the course, and there's that asshole on the practice green."

"He's not an asshole."

" _Liv_ ," Ed adjusted his body so he could look her in the eye, "Any man who wants you other than me is an asshole."

A burst of laughter caused their heads to knock together. "Dodds does not _want me_."

"Sure he does. You shoulda heard him. All _complimimentary_ of you."

"You mean _com-pli-men-tary_?"

"ThatswhatIsaid."

"Well, trust me, he doesn't _want me_."

Ed finally completed the mission to fully drape his body over Olivia's. He managed to get her on her back and he rested his elbows just over her shoulders. When he spoke he was only millimeters from her face and Olivia got the full aroma of beer and bourbon but, surprisingly, no cigarettes. "I do trust you," he said seriously.

"I trust you, too."

"Dodds said, 'Benson's one of the best officers we have…and this sonofabitch', _meaning me_ , 'is married to her'!"

Ed reminded Olivia of Noah parroting everything that happened at day care.

"Now tell me," Ed smoothed Olivia's hair back as gracefully as he could. Olivia's forehead stretched in response to his caress, "Am I a sonofabitch?" He cocked his head, genuinely curious.

Olivia was biting her lip, trying not to laugh. "No…you're not. You're a little drunk…but you're not a sonofabitch." Ed fell onto her, supporting very little of his own weight. "You alright?"

"Very comfortable."

"Can I help you get in bed?"

Ed raised his head again, this time, he leered at her, "You, Olivia Margaret Benson and now _Tucker_ can help me get in bed any time you want." Suddenly remembering another detail, he shoved his left hand in her face, "Lookit this."

"What am I looking at?"

" _This_."

Upon closer examination she noticed the skin around his wedding band was red and irritated. "What happened?"

"I didn't wanna take it off."

She slid the ring upward toward the fingertip. The skin was broken and blistery, so she removed the ring and put it on the coffee table. " _Ed_ , that looks like it must've hurt you all day."

"Nah," he replied dismissively, "I didn't wanna take it off, thought I'd lose it."

As a wife, Olivia probably should've been annoyed. In fact, most wives probably would have been upset with a husband who'd drank all day and most of the night and came home in a stupor. But this was not a regular occurrence and alcohol made Ed even more lovey and clingey; it was difficult to be angry with him.

"Well, let's leave it off for tonight. C'mon," Olivia pushed him off her and he staggered into a standing position. "Let's put something on your finger and go to bed."

"Yes, Ma'am. Anything you say, Lieutenant."

"Thank you."

"Lieutenant?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Nobody will ever love you more than I love you."

"I know."

"Not even Dodds."

Olivia guffawed, " _Stopppp_." She shoved him on the bed and he flopped down on his back.

Struggling to get up again, Ed muttered, "I didn't say goodnight to Noah."

"Probably better that you skip it for tonight." Olivia put a hand on his chest. "Stay here, I'll get something for your finger."

"Then I'm gonna show you how much I love you."

"Okay," Olivia agreed doubtfully and disappeared into the bathroom.

Sure enough, when she returned with the Neosporin, Ed was fast asleep.

…

After a spate of mild, sunny spring weather, thunderstorms began attacking New York with a fury the next morning, engulfing Manhattan in torrential downpours and ushering in a drastic drop in temperature. Aggravated, Brooke yanked her winter parka from the hall closet as she prepared to leave early the next morning. Carisi and Sarah watched gleefully from the kitchen island. They both leisurely sipped coffee. Brooke had to be at her school a full two hours before the cop and the accountant had to report to their respective work sites.

"When you get your new job, you'll get to sleep in!" Sarah pointed out.

Her sister's encouragement only further nettled Brooke, "Not really. School starts early. And what are you doing up anyway? And also, shut up. Both of you."

"Hey!" Carisi exclaimed, acting wounded, "What'd I do?"

Brooke finally extricated the coat. She tossed it and her umbrella on the coffee table and sat to put on her boots, "You're smiling."

Sarah came to his defense. "He's always smiling. And anyway, I'm going in early."

"That's odd."

"I don't want to get fired."

"Yeah," Brooke snickered, "You can't afford Louboutins on welfare."

"I can't really afford them with my current salary."

Sonny shook his head in disbelief, "Women and shoes. I don't get it. I have two pairs. Black and brown. That's all ya need. And sneakers of course, but, you know what? I hardly ever wear them."

Brooke thought about Sonny's footwear. "I've never seen you in sneakers and I've never seen them in your apartment."

"They're in the closet."

"They are?" Brooke didn't necessarily consider Sonny a neat freak.

"Sure. I'll show 'em to ya tonight."

Sarah leaned forward, "Ooooo, what are you doing _tonight_?"

"After I pick up Noah," Brooke's voice was strained as she bundled up. Carisi, ever the gentleman, helped her with the coat, "Well, we were going to go to the park, but I'll end up taking him home. Dad's usually home between five and six, so, we can make a seven or eight o'clock movie?"

"What are you seeing?"

"The new Tarantino flick," Sonny said, "I've been dying to see it. And I'm not working tonight. Any case comes in? I'm passing it off." He made a whooshing noise.

Brooke narrowed her eyes, "Aren't you still low man on the totem pole?"

"Kinda, yeah," He moved closer to Brooke, "But there're certain perks to dating the boss's stepdaughter."

"I _see_ ," Brooke replied flirtatiously.

Sarah giggled, "Oh, you two, you're so cute. More coffee, Sonny?"

Carisi shook his head. "Nah, I need to go home. Brooke, hang on a sec, I'll walk out with you." He hustled to the bedroom to retrieve his wallet and jacket.

Sarah poured the rest of the coffee into her mug and twirled around the kitchen with a silly grin on her face.

"What?" Brooke hissed.

"Oh nothing," she cooed whimsically, "If I can't have a man right now, I'm just glad you have one. It's cute to see you all flirty."

"I learned it from you."

"That's what little sisters are for."

….

Tucker arrived at the District Attorney's office later that afternoon for a meeting with the ADA and a few members of the Twentieth precinct which was under fire after one of their novice detectives let slip in open court that the man they'd arrested for a string of home invasions had a very thick, but sealed, juvenile court file. The judge ruled the extemporaneous testimony was innocuous enough so as not to taint the jury and the trial proceeded, but the DA wanted Tucker in on all discussions because a guilty verdict would certainly require a second look.

He took a seat near the window and tried to focus as the detectives and the lawyers hashed out the error and negated it with the piles of evidence they'd gathered—all pointing to the suspect's guilt. After they finished their presentation, everyone looked at Tucker expectantly.

"Didja offer a plea?" He asked the ADA.

"Of course."

"I can't believe they didn't take it." Tucker's IAB senses kicked in, and he couldn't help but wonder if the detective had let the information slip on purpose.

"Me neither."

Tucker shrugged, "Looks in order to me, but, send me whatever you can so I have it on file. We'll need to take a closer look if they convict him." He turned to the ADA, "Send me the juror profiles, too."

"Will do."

The precinct's Captain stared curiously at Tucker as everyone shoved papers back into their respective folders. "Did I see you at the DeWitt Clinton fields Saturday morning?"

"You did," Tucker replied, trying not to look too proud.

"I thought that was you. Didn't recognize you without the suit."

"Yeah," Tucker chuckled politely, "My version of incognito. Usually works."

"How old's your boy?"

"Three, four in December. Yours?"

"Little girl. Same age. We'll probably play your team at some point. How'd you do last weekend?"

"Tie," Tucker replied, desperately wanting to find some way to add Noah had scored a goal, "Woulda won, but, we scored on our own goal right at the end."

The other man smiled, "Common. Actually, more common to do that than to actually kick it the right way. It's a real good program, though. My older daughter went all the way through and she's a pretty tough middle school player."

"I've been impressed so far. The coaches are really good with the kids." Tucker checked his watch, "Speaking of kids, I have to get mine from day care before they call my wife. Good talkin' to you."

Tucker was in his car and driving in the direction of the day care when he remembered Brooke was picking up Noah. She hadn't spent much one-on-one time with him lately and was missing their after school pizza dates. With no need to go back to the office and his wife and two children occupied, Ed decided to see what Sarah was up to.

She immediately replied to his text.

 _Can I be honest?_

Ed had asked her what she was doing. He replied that honest was appreciated.

 _Having a drink with my team_.

 _Alright. Was wondering if you wanted to meet for a drink or coffee. No problem_. Ed wanted Sarah to understand that nobody was expected her to swear off alcohol altogether. At least, not now.

 _I'll leave and meet you wherever_.

Ed texted her his preferred location—a favorite dive halfway between their apartments. She replied that she was paying and would be there shortly. Ed kneaded the steering wheel as he drove, hoping he wasn't sending the wrong message by meeting Sarah for drinks. One consolation was that they wouldn't be out for long. He wanted to see his family and he was still feeling the effects of yesterday's golf course beer binge.

…

"Brookey you teached da big kids today?" Noah spoke with his mouthful. Pizza sauce had already formed a circle around his mouth and Brooke decided to clean everything up after they ate rather than dab at his mouth between each bite.

"Yep. I still have your drawing and I look at it every day."

"I draw 'nuvver one."

"Whatcha gonna draw?"

Noah chewed thoughtfully. "Park. Wiff sides and swings!"

"Oh wow! That will be a good drawing!" Brooke took a swig from her soda and gazed pleasantly at Noah as he devoured his cheese pizza slice. His plaid shirt had hints of red in it, so it didn't show his spills as conspicuously as another color would have. Brooke had never seen Ed or Olivia put a bib on Noah, but it seemed like he was extra messy whenever he ate with her. "Did you have fun at school today?" She asked.

"Uh-huh."

"Did you speak Spanish?"

"No, Miss Melia not dere."

"Oh. Well, did anyone get in trouble?"

Noah giggled, "Uh-huh. Ben did! Ben frew bocks!"

"Uh-oh."

"Uh-huh, and Allie chased."

"You're not allowed to chase?"

Noah stopped eating and looked seriously at Brooke. "No chasing, Brookey."

"Why not?"

"Running for outside."

"Oh." Noah finished the slice he was working on and gnawed at the crust. "You want another slice? Or you want dessert now?"

"D'sert."

"Then we'll go home and watch a movie or something. Or we'll draw. It's still raining like crazy."

"I have fwog umber-ella."

"Where?"

"In my room."

"Why didn't you bring it?"

Noah shrugged.

"Didn't you need it this morning?"

"Uh-uh."

"You walked in the rain?"

"No. Daddy drived da car."

"Well, good thing I have my umbrella then!"

Noah grinned at her. "Good fing!"

…

"Daddy, what took you so long? I thought I was at the wrong place!"

Ed leaned against the corner of the pockmarked bar, "Sorry, couldn't find a parking spot."

"You can park anywhere you want."

"I _still_ couldn't find one."

Sarah giggled. "I just love this city."

"Yeah me too. You coulda at least ordered me a drink." Ed faked exasperation and then smirked lovingly at his daughter who waved over the bartender and ordered Ed's bourbon. "I can't stay long," he said, "I was out late last night."

"By yourself?"

"No, with Cole."

"I loooove Cole," Sarah gushed.

"You don't even know him."

"I've met him. He reminds me of you. All IABish."

" _IABish_?"

"Yep," Sarah clinked glasses with Ed, "Very serious. What's the word? _Staid_. You two are perfect for each other."

Ed rolled his eyes and took a seat. Sarah noticed him grimace.

"What's wrong?"

"Played golf yesterday afternoon. I'm sore."

"You golf?"

Laughing, Ed replied, "That's what Liv said. Yes, I used to play a lot actually."

"Didja win? Golf you want to get a low score right?"

"Right. And no. Cole's new partner won."

"You'll get 'em next time."

"Yeah, so, whatcha got goin' on tonight?"

Sarah shrugged and told him she had plenty of work to catch up on but would probably end up in her bed watching television for a while before she tackled it. The day was conducive to laziness. They had one last round before Ed called it a night and offered to drive her home. Sarah accepted at first, but when they emerged from the dimly lit bar, the skies had cleared and she decided to walk.

"It'll be good to move a little bit," she insisted.

Ed hoped she was headed for home rather than another pub, but he didn't want to make a big deal out of his doubts. Sarah seemed genuinely shaken and remorseful after last weekend's drunken outburst, so he casually side-hugged her and reminded her about Noah's game on Saturday.

"Only that little doll could get me out of bed that early on a weekend."

"Try to wear some better shoes this time, will ya?"

"No way," Sarah retorted. "Those are now my lucky soccer boots."

…

Olivia tested the bathwater with her index finger and adjusted the knobs slightly before twisting the drain stopper and adding the mint bubble bath. She tuned Pandora to a smooth jazz station and was about to call for Ed when he appeared, twisting and stretching, trying to work out the kinks in his sore torso and neck.

" _Ohhhh_ , poor thing," Olivia said, oozing with sympathy, "C'mere." She tugged at his shirt and got to work on the buttons.

He planted kisses across her forehead, "You're too good to me."

"I like to think we're good to each other." She slid his shirt from his body and gently threaded his arms through the sleeves of his undershirt before carefully lifting it over his head.

"Sorry 'bout last night," he muttered shamefully.

With a gracious smile, Olivia replied, "Thank you, but you don't have to apologize. Were you tired today?" She had left the apartment early that morning and had only kissed Ed goodbye before leaving with Noah.

"Yeah," he admitted, "But, good thing I was drinking beer most of the day. Saved the bourbon for last."

"Did you smoke?"

"Nope."

"I didn't think so." Olivia gave his pecs one final massage and let her hands fall to his waistband. She fumbled with his pants with one hand and leaned over to turn on the jets. "Let's see what we can do about those muscles."

Ed gaped as she quickly stripped and eased into the tub.

"C'mon," she motioned to him with one hand and cocked an eyebrow.

She didn't have to ask twice.

Ed settled into the water in front of her and Olivia wrapped her legs around him. Her hands traveled back and forth from his neck to shoulders and then back again, massaging in little circles, until Ed leaned completely back against her.

"God, that felt so good. _You_ feel so good."

" _Mmmm_ ," Olivia droned, kissing the side of his head. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Liv."

"You wanna get dried off and watch a movie?"

Ed leaned farther back to kiss Olivia on the mouth, "In bed?"

"Sure."

"I don't know how I'll make it through the whole thing."

"You're that tired?"

Ed rolled over, splashing water over the sides of the tub and into Olivia's face. He chuckled as he kissed her.

"No. I want you _that_ much."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	26. Chapter 26

**26.**

"And den I kick!" Noah performed his soccer moves for the doorman who assisted Ed by carrying a large package that had been delivered while they were at the morning's game. Noah wove a path down the hall ahead of the men. When he came to the Tucker door he jump-stopped, turned around, and announced, "And den da whistle and den….GOAL!"

" _Shhhh_ ," Ed said but his eyes sparkled, sending the message to Noah that he didn't really care whether or not his son was disrupting neighbors. He unlocked the door and pointed to an empty spot next to the shoes. "Right there's good. Appreciate the help."

The doorman nodded, "No problem. Keep up the good work on the soccer field, little man."

"Yep!" Noah ran into the living room without removing his shoes. Ed heard him shout, "MOMMY!"

Confused, Ed screwed up his face and followed Noah's steps.

"Liv?"

His wife was seated on the edge of the sofa, leaning forward, elbows on her knees.

"Hey," she replied softly and looked up at him through tear-filled eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Olivia swallowed. "Hey, Noah, why don't you go back by the door and take off your shoes and shin guards, okay? Then I want to hear all about your game."

Ed waited patiently for Noah to scamper to the foyer. Fear burned in his gut; Olivia was supposed to be working all day today and he certainly didn't expect her home two hours after she departed for the precinct.

"What happened?" He asked again.

Tears tumbled down Olivia's cheeks as she replied, "Munch died."

"Oh no." Ed quickly took the seat next to her and she allowed herself to melt into her husband's comforting embrace. "When?"

"A couple days ago," she sniffed, "He was…overseas…some type of virus…Cragen called me this morning."

"Aw, baby, I'm so sorry." Ed rocked her gently and kissed her head. "So sorry."

A barefooted Noah returned and rushed to his mother's side. "Mommy, you sad?"

"Yes, sweet boy, but," Olivia grabbed a tissue and quickly pulled herself together, "Tell me about the soccer game and I won't be sad anymore." Noah climbed into her lap and told his mother all about running in his "keets" and wearing his white jersey today instead of the black one.

"Were Brookey and Sarah there?"

"Uh-huh. Sisters dere."

"Good," Olivia ran her fingers through his hair and hugged him to her chest, "How about we have lunch then Mommy's going back to work for a little while."

"You're going back?" Ed asked incredulously.

"I have to. And…there's not much I can do here. Hearing it…just shocked me…I had to get out of there for a while."

"Alright," Ed conceded reluctantly, "I'll make lunch. You want peanut butter or turkey, No?"

"Tukkey!"

Ed lovingly smoothed Olivia's hair. "And Mommy?"

"Turkey's good. Thank you."

"My pleasure," Ed said with a wink and a sympathetic smirk. He got to work making the sandwiches, opened a bag of potato chips, and served the informal lunch on the island. Noah longingly looked at Ed's ginger ale, knowing his sips would have to wait until his mother was not in the room.

…..

Abiding by John Munch's wishes and according to Jewish tradition, he was buried in a small, private ceremony as soon as his body arrived back in the United States. A few of his closest NYPD colleagues, including Lieutenant Benson, collaborated to plan a memorial service for the beloved Sergeant. The team reserved a small banquet hall in midtown. In attendance were a few members of his family, but the majority of the crowd consisted of current and former police officers and, after a while, took on the feel of a family reunion rather than a wake. The guests took turns sharing their favorite Munch memories through laughter and through tears, and then Olivia took the microphone to announce the establishment of a fund in Munch's name which would be used to provide scholarships to children of fallen officers.

She was busily accepting and cataloguing donations at a table set up away from the main gathering area when Brian Cassidy approached her. Being in charge of the event allowed Olivia to stifle much of her grief, but it also helped her avoid awkward encounters like this one.

"Hey, Liv."

Olivia had her face buried in a ledger book when she heard Brian's voice. It had been a few years since she'd seen him, but she recognized that voice anywhere. Immediately, she wondered about Ed's location and how he would react if he saw Brian having a semi-private conversation with her.

She greeted him with a warm smile and instinctively played with her rings, " _Brian_. Hi." The table separated them, negating the chances of a hug. "How are you?"

"Good, uh, well, considering. Really too bad about Munch. I feel terrible…kinda lost contact with everyone in Manhattan when I moved to Brooklyn."

"Yeah, we always say we'll stay in touch…but it never happens."

"Had you seen him at all since he retired?"

"Sure," Olivia told Brian about his assistance with the Gilbert case, "And I thought…he looked frail then. They said it was something he contracted while he was on vacation, but he didn't look completely well. I wonder if there was something he wasn't telling us."

"Yeah, maybe. He wouldn't have wanted to worry you."

"No," Olivia murmured, "No, he wouldn't."

Brian eyed her left hand. "So, uh, I guess…congratulations?"

Olivia clenched her fists. "Thank you." She knew Brian was thinking what everyone else thought when they first learned of her relationship with Tucker.

"Have any pictures of your son?"

A little startled by the request, Olivia almost dropped her phone as she removed it from her pocket. "Sure, ah, here he is." She showed Brian a photo of Noah at the park and quickly flipped through a few more until she saw him raise his eyebrows and briefly cringe.

"That's a nice one."

He was referring to a post-soccer game shot that Sarah snapped. Noah was perched on Ed's shoulders and he held one of Noah's legs with one hand and Olivia's waist with the other.

"Oh, yeah," Olivia replied softly, "He just started playing soccer this year. Scored a goal his first game!"

"That's great."

Olivia had to stop herself from recoiling when Brian extended his arm and grabbed her hand. "Liv, it's really good to see you. You look great. Stunning, really. Looks like life is treating you well."

From the other side of the room, Tucker observed the exchange between his wife and her former boyfriend. He chewed the inside of his mouth in between taking sips of his drink. It took everything he had to not rush over there. Judging by Olivia's body language, she was not exactly thrilled by Cassidy cornering her, so that made him feel better. However, when Brian grabbed her hand, Ed swore his heart stopped beating and it took him only a few seconds to weave through the guests and insert himself into the conversation.

"Liv, crowd's thinnin' out and I told Cragen and Amaro to head to our place." All along, the plan had been to hold a little SVU reunion at the Tucker home after the service, so it was obvious to Olivia that he had contrived a reason to come over. Ed didn't bother excusing the interruption, and he sidled right up to Olivia. "You holdin' up okay?" He whispered lovingly, loud enough so Cassidy could hear.

"I am…this," she motioned to the piled of envelopes, "has been a nice distraction."

"It was a great idea."

"Munch would be proud," Cassidy interjected, mostly to remind Ed he was there.

"I hope so," Olivia croaked, and feeling a lump form in her throat, leaned into Ed. "I need to check in with the manager before we leave."

"Okay, I'll go find him for ya." Before Ed sauntered off, he gave Cassidy a pat on the shoulder and shot him a sort of half-smirk, half-sneer. "Take care of yourself, Cassidy."

Brian stared him down for a second or two and turned to Olivia with a smile on his face. "Tucker," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head knowingly and then lifting his eyes to meet Olivia's. "I have to ask."

Blushing, Olivia replied, "Everyone does."

"How did _that_ happen?"

"We had a couple of cases where IAB had to be involved," Olivia answered with a shrug and tried not to appear too happy. She loved thinking about the way their relationship thawed and then slowly moved towards romance and intimacy. "And one night he offered to buy me a drink…"

Cassidy understood he wasn't getting much more out of her. "You deserve to have a family, Liv. I always knew that's what you wanted."

"It was."

"And I can tell you're happy. You look so… _different_."

"I feel different, Brian. I have this whole new…everything…perspective, family—"

"And Tucker's the one who gave it to you."

Edginess and sarcasm tinged Brian's voice and his face hardened. Olivia responded accordingly.

"It's the first time I've really felt like I had someone reliable in my corner."

The words wounded Cassidy and he backed off. Seeing Olivia again and seeing her with Tucker of all people ignited a highly combustible emotional bundle of jealousy, confusion, and bewilderment. He read between the lines. _It's the first time I've really felt like I had someone reliable in my corner_ really meant Cassidy wasn't good enough for her. A myriad of replies toggled through his head, but before he could say anything, Tucker returned.

"Manager says everything's all set, Liv. He'll send the receipts to your office."

Olivia scanned the hall. Only a handful of people remained.

"Great. Thank you. I guess, we better go."

Tucker handed over her purse and helped her on with the lightweight black trench coat. Risking being admonished later for putting on an amorous show, he lightly kissed her cheek in the process.

Cassidy hung around, hoping for an invitation, but Olivia quickly slammed the door on that possibility. She took Ed's arm and smiled politely at Brian. "It was good to see you."

"You too," Brian replied brusquely, "Take care, Tucker."

Smugly, Ed sniffed a barely audible "will do" and led Olivia to the exit.

…..

"Did you know he'd be there?" Ed asked as he steered the car into traffic.

Olivia rubbed her temples, "I didn't really think about it…with all the planning and everything."

He put a hand on her thigh, gripping it gently. "You did a great job with everything. Really dignified. Everything went off without a hitch."

Olivia smiled at the compliment and swung the conversation back to the encounter with Brian. "You certainly behaved yourself."

Ed smirked, "I'm so proud of you."

"What does that have to do with behaving yourself?"

"I'm proud to be married to you. _Married_. That assurance. That made _behaving_ easy."

"I see," Olivia purred, "You were still laying it on thick, though."

"Whaddya mean?" Tucker asked, faking cluelessness.

"You were, um, there was a lot of _exaggeration_."

Tucker chuckled, "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too. And, as usual, you've been so great."

Tucker's cheeks reddened as he shrugged. "I want you to be okay. How are you _really_?"

"I feel so…guilty…for not staying in touch. Munch was a big brother, mentor, sometimes a father figure, and I just let him go."

"Those things happen, Liv. Our jobs are so hectic…lookit _us_. Remember?"

Olivia wrung her hands as she recalled a rare rough patch in their early relationship when she found herself doubting whether she had enough space in her life to be a good mother and an attentive girlfriend.

"We struggled there for a little while…and we were practically living together. Don't beat yourself, baby…for somethin' everyone does." He gave her a gentle nudge, "Even the amazing, gorgeous, extraordinary Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker."

Trying to stifle a grin, Olivia turned her head and watched pedestrians pass in front of her while processing Ed's advice. "I don't deserve you," she murmured.

Taking advantage of being stopped at a red light, Ed reached over and took Olivia's face in both his hands, "Don't ever say that, Liv. Don't _think_ that. You deserve and I'm gonna give you the best of everything. I've never met _anyone_ like you."

Olivia fidgeted. The light had changed and the line of drivers behind Tucker angrily blared their horns. A few cars snaked out of line and carefully threaded the needle between their sedan and parked cars.

"Ignore 'em," Ed said firmly, his eyes burning with passion and intense sincerity, " _You_ never _ever_ have to wonder if you deserve me or our family or our happiness because I'm tellin' you right now, once and for all, that you do."

"Ed, someone's gonna get out of their—"

He kissed her firmly on the lips. "Say you deserve the best." Another, gentler, kiss followed. "Say it, Liv," he whispered and kissed her again. "Please?"

"I deserve the best," she croaked through a lump in her throat.

"Thank you." He kissed her one final time before returning to his side of the car and stepping on the gas pedal.

"There are about fifty people behind us wanting to kill you," she bantered.

"Nah," Tucker replied flippantly, gripping her thigh once again. "They'd calm down after I explained I love you too much to let you think that way."

…

Traffic snarled the Midtown streets and the guests ended up beating Ed and Olivia home. When they arrived, Sarah and Brooke, who had been babysitting, were playing hostesses. They'd arranged hors d'ouvers on the dining table and made sure everyone had a fresh drink. With Noah providing entertainment, nobody noticed the arrival of the apartment owners.

"Now, Noey," Sarah instructed, "Let's count to ten in Spanish with our song. Ready? Go!"

Noah and Sarah broke into a Sesame Street rendition of the counting song and applause ensued.

"I hope we're not going to kill the mood," Ed cracked.

Noah heard his Dad's voice and broke through the huddle of people. "Daddy!"

Everyone's eyes tracked the little boy scamper into Ed Tucker's arms, squeeze his neck, and reach for Olivia, pulling her in for a group hug. "Friends here, Mommy," Noah mumbled.

"I know, sweet boy. Did you meet everybody?"

"Uh-huh. We haved snacks." Noah pointed to the table.

"Thanks for getting all of that ready." Olivia winked at Sarah and Brooke.

Captain Cragen stepped forward and shook Ed's hand, "Ed, Liv, you have a beautiful home."

"Thanks." Ed shifted Noah to his left hip. "We like it."

"Yeah," Olivia added, "We had to do a lot of renovating, but it's worth it."

Noah's eyes widened. "Wanna see my room?" He asked.

Cragen smiled and looked at Olivia.

"You're going to show Captain Cragen your room?"

Noah nodded, then furrowed his brow. "Daddy Cap'n."

"So is he."

" _Ohhhh_ ," Noah replied.

"Gonna show him your room, bud?"

Olivia patted Ed's back appreciatively. Encouraging anyone to enter their private spaces seemed out of his comfort zone. Nevertheless, he put Noah down and Cragen and Olivia followed the little boy.

Sarah came up and hugged Ed. "How's Livvie, Daddy?"

"As well as can be expected. Tough day." Ed kissed Sarah's head, "But thanks for getting everything put together here. And for watching Noah."

"No problem."

"You and Brooke gonna stick around?"

"Not for long," Sarah eyed the crowd with mock disdain, "Getting a little too cop-ish in here for me. But Brooke looks like she's enjoying herself."

At the end of the dining table near the window, Brooke and Sonny stood close together talking softly and giggling with one another.

"Yeah, she does." Ed couldn't help but smile. He really liked Carisi a lot.

"And, let's see, well, I've met most of these people before," Sarah rattled off a few names, "Of course I know Amanda from the housewarming party. This is the first time I've met Nick. The Don guy, he's nice. He brought Noah that car." Sarah pointed to a vintage-looking NYPD cruiser resting on the table. "And we're waiting for who else?"

"I think Barba may stop by, their old ADA too. Maybe a couple others."

Noah, Olivia, and Cragen reappeared and Noah hugged Sarah's legs. "Hi Noey-Boey! Didja give the grand tour?"

"Uh-huh, we race trains. I winned!"

"You always win. You're the best train engineer and the best soccer player and the best brother!"

Sarah and Noah exchanged their playful "you da bests" until Sarah lifted Noah up and upside down and blew strawberries on his belly. Meanwhile, Olivia poured a drink for her and Tucker and called everyone together for a toast.

"Thank you, everyone, for being here and also at the service. I think we did Munch proud," she ran an index finger under her eyelid, "But, no more crying. Let's enjoy each other's company since I don't know when we'll all be in the same room again." She raised her glass, "To our friend Munch and to each other!"

After taking a sip, Amaro raised his glass again, "And to Liv and Ed for hosting. Thanks for letting us invade your space for a little while, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker."

"Our pleasure," Ed said with a genuine smile.

"Absolutely," Olivia added as Ed kissed her on the side of the head.

Noah wandered back into the middle of the adults and dropped something into Cragen's lap. "Dis p'lice badge."

Cragen held it up for inspection, "Wow!"

"Liv, remember when he first got it and he wore it into the precinct?" Rollins recalled the memory with a grin, "He was so adorable running around telling everybody he was police."

"Where'd ya get this?" Cragen asked.

"Daddy."

Cragen studied the badge more closely. "Your Daddy sure is a good guy." Even though he was speaking at Noah he'd turned towards Ed. "This badge is somethin' special."

Noah climbed on the couch to sit next to Cragen. "It say N-O-A-H!"

"Sure does!"

"Yeah," Amaro said, "Noah's gonna be out getting the bad guys when he gets older, right?"

"Yep! I have da badge, and…Mommy?"  
"Yes sweet boy?"

"I have da tie?"

"Want me to get your tie?"

"Yes peese."

"Gosh he's polite," Rollins marveled. "You don't even have to remind him."

"He's a good kid," Ed agreed.

Olivia returned with one of Noah's ties and he slipped in on. "See? I p'lice!"

"You don't wanna wear a uniform?" Amaro asked.

"Nope," Noah retorted assuredly, "Daddy wear tie an' badge to p'lice."

"Well, Tucker, Liv, looks like you have a future cop on your hands," Cragen remarked.

"Just stay out of IAB, Noah! Stay clean!" Rollins joked.

At first, the room fell silent while everyone waited for Tucker's reaction. Olivia waited for his face to redden and his jaw to clench, but a wry smirk formed on his face. "No son of mine is gonna be a dirty cop. Right, bud?"

"I get dirty at soccer game, Daddy!"

The conversation shifted momentarily to soccer before Noah got bored with the adults and begged Sarah to play with him in his room. She happily agreed, feeling a little out of place among Olivia's old friends. Emboldened, Amaro and Cragen took a few more playful shots at Tucker who endured the ribbing good-naturedly. It helped that Olivia was beside him with her arm looped through his, holding him close.

The gathering wound down without a visit from Casey Novak who'd attended the service but also had friends to see and a late train to catch. Brooke and Carisi departed first, headed for a nightcap at a local bar. After making sure her nanny could stay late with Jesse, Rollins asked if they wouldn't mind if she and Sarah tag along. They didn't, so the four of them bade farewell and headed out.

"Whew," Amaro huffed, "Long day. Draining."

Cragen agreed, "This'll take a while to process. I'm just glad Munch was…that he got out there and _did_ things. I was worried he'd spend the rest of this life writing conspiracy theory op-eds for the Daily News."

"There's more to life than SVU," Olivia murmured. Noticing Cragen's and Amaro's quizzical expressions, she explained, "Munch found that out. He mentioned that the last time I saw him. It seems like…cops, or, SVU cops, have a hard time coming to that realization."

"Not you, Liv," Amaro pointed out, "You're still there, and now you're a mom and a wife _and_ , from what I hear, one of the most respected commanding officers in the city."

"It wasn't easy figuring out how to balance it all."

"That's why it's so hard to do," Cragen said, "But I'm proud of you, Liv. I feel like I've seen you grow up. And I have to admit, there were times I was worried about you." Cragen shot a quick glance at Amaro. " _You_ _too_."

Amaro grinned sheepishly, "At times, deservedly so."

"So it makes me happy," Cragen continued, "Like I imagine a father would be happy, when he knows his kids are gonna be okay."

Olivia reached over and squeezed his hand.

A wry smile formed on his lips. "I didn't, however, ever in a million years factor _Tucker_ in to all of this."

Olivia let the joke roll off her back, "Everyone's favorite mystery. And, for the record, neither did I."

"Well, it seems that everyone is where he or she is supposed to be. And I should be back at the hotel. Have an early flight back home tomorrow." Cragen stood up.

"Yeah, Liv, I'm gonna take off, too."

"Okay. Let me go get Ed and Noah."

Olivia found them in the master bedroom. After being praised for his good behavior, Noah erupted into a mini-tantrum when he was denied the right to put on his cleats and kick the soccer ball around the house. Ed wrangled him and they were now reading a book in the oversized easy chair.

"Cragen and Amaro are leaving," she announced softly.

"Alright. Let's say goodbye, bud."

Noah sniffled a little and refused to make eye contact with his mother until Olivia reached out for him. "C'mere, sweet boy. Give Mommy a hug. I love you."

"Lubbyou," he mumbled into her neck.

Back in the living room, Ed, Cragen and Amaro exchanged handshakes and friendly slaps on the back. Cragen moved to shake Noah's hand, but the little boy lifted his arms instead, requesting the Captain to pick him up. Shock registered on Cragen's face as Noah squeezed his neck and whispered, "Bye Cap'n."

"Bye, Noah," Cragen replied weakly.

"Thank him for the car," Olivia prodded.

"Fank you."

"You're welcome."

Cragen hugged Olivia tightly. "Great job with the planning and everything today, Olivia. And thanks again for having us. This was fun."

"Thank you for coming. And, let's not be strangers."

"It's a deal."

"Mommy!" Noah tugged at Olivia's pant leg, "I show Nick da trains?"

"I have a few minutes if that's okay with Mommy," Nick said.

"Sure, come on."

The three of them went back for yet another train demonstration, leaving Ed to walk Cragen out.

"Time's your flight tomorrow?" Ed asked, filling the awkward last few moments with small talk.

"Seven."

"You're probably anxious to get back."

"Always."

Ed thought about the word and how often he used it with Olivia. "Thanks for being here today, for Liv, it was good for her to have this time with everyone."

"Good for me, too."

"Yeah."

"Tucker, I don't need to say this, but I feel like I have to."

Ed tensed in anticipation.

"But, _take care of her_. She's been through hell and back a few times. And she tries to handle everything on her own."

"I know. She knows she doesn't have to do that anymore."

"Well, keep reminding her."

"Absolutely."

Cragen shot him an appreciative smile.

"So long, Tucker."

And then he was gone.

…..

After tucking Noah in bed, Ed and Olivia cuddled on the sofa. They turned off all lights save for a dim side lamp and gazed at the nighttime sky.

"I'm so exhausted," Olivia said, "but I don't want to go to sleep."

"Why not?"

"This feels so good."

Ed tightened his embrace, "Gotta take extra care of you tonight."

Not too long ago, a comment like that would've annoyed Olivia, but now she simply let herself sink more deeply into Ed's arms. "Thank you for not freaking out today."

"When?"

"All the IAB jokes."

"To be expected."

"I guess."

"Why didn't Stabler show up today?"

"He was there."

"I meant here."

"I didn't invite him."

Ed was surprised, "Why not?"

"Amaro, Rollins, and Carisi don't know him. At the wedding…he was so quiet, remember? Kathy did most of the talking. And I didn't want things to be weird."

"You mean because of me?"

"Not completely. Ed, when he left SVU, it was like a piece of my heart was ripped out. And he made such a clean break, didn't really keep in touch other than Christmas cards and graduation announcements. I offered, several times, to meet, to talk, to get some closure, but he moved on and didn't want to dig up the past…after all those years as his partner, he couldn't bring himself to really say goodbye. It was painful, and I've forgiven him. I'm over it, but I didn't want to drag him back into my life for a few hours today."

Ed nuzzled her neck. "Didja at least talk to him at the service?"

"He came over and made a donation and we talked for a few minutes."

" _Everybody_ got their time with Benson at the donation table," Ed teased.

"Not you," she retorted, "You just stood on the other side of the room brooding."

"Nah," Ed protested, "Just watchin' you move. I _love_ watching you move."

Olivia smiled and a pleasant silence engulfed them for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"I can't believe Munch is gone…and I never got to say good bye."

Ed replied gently, "At least…he got to meet Noah, got to see you as the Lieutenant…knew SVU was okay and you were okay. _More_ than okay."

" _Yeah_. I really am more than okay, aren't I?"

"Yes you are, Liv."

"And I have you to thank for that."

"Not only me."

"Mostly you." She shifted so she could see his face, "Big, bad Captain Tucker turns out to be the knight in shining armor."

Ed played coy. "I'm just glad you gave me a chance."

"Me too," she slithered up his body for a kiss. "Me too."

….


	27. Chapter 27

**Mid-June, 2017**

Noah pressed his face and hands against the living room window and whispered observations to himself.

"Yellow taxi."

"Lotsa people."

"Fire truck."

"P'lice car."

Next, he angled his head to try and look directly below the Tucker's twentieth-floor apartment but found the task impossible, so he focused his attention on the rooftops instead.

"Daddy?"

Ed peered at Noah from over the newspaper. "Yeah, bud?"

"We go up dere?"

"We can go to our roof."

"Now?"

"No, pal. We gotta go to work and school in a little bit. We'll go tonight when we get home. Wanna eat dinner up there?"

Noah nodded vigorously and shouted "YESSSS!"

"What are we cheering about?" Olivia glided into the kitchen fully dressed in a light gray blazer, black pants, and white blouse. She snapped an earring into place and Ed slid her a freshly poured cup of coffee.

"Dinner on the roof," Ed answered, "You want me to put that in the other mug?"

She grinned and kissed him, "Not yet."

"You don't seem like you're in much of a hurry."

"Well, we're at a full squad again with Fin being back, so, you're right. I'm not." Fin had been working undercover at a local bar after the squad received a tip about an after-hours brothel came in a few weeks ago. They made the bust, but it hadn't been as wide-reaching as they'd hoped. Nevertheless, arrests had been made and Fin was free.

Ed smiled at her, "I'm not disappointed."

"Me neither."

"Brooke's last day of school is Friday. Wanna have everyone over here or go out someplace?"

"Sure. I'll call Lucy and see if she can watch Noah. Or, maybe Rollins will be able to. Or we can take him I guess. If not, we can have them over."

"Carisi, too?"

"Of course."

Ed noticed Olivia's silly grin. " _What_?"

"It's cute how you and Carisi get along so well."

Ed feigned disgust. " _Cute_?"

"Yes. Cute."

"You think I'm cute?"

"I do. And not just when you ask about Carisi."

"Lemme ask you something," Ed leaned forward, crinkling the newspaper in the process. There was flirtation in his voice and in his eyes. "Have you _always_ thought I was cute?"

"No," Olivia retorted sassily, "I was usually too busy trying to hang on to my badge to think about anything else."

"I don't know Lieutenant," he replied doubtfully, shaking his head, still resting on his forearms, and still gazing at her adoringly. "I think…you thought I was a little bit cute."

"When, exactly, did I give you _that_ impression?"

"Couple a times."

" _When_?"

"I can't remember exactly."

"You're not making a very strong case."

" _Lieutenant_ ," his tone was patronizing now and his lips curled into a teasing smirk, "Does it always have to be a _case_ with you? Can't you take my word for it?"

Olivia had been suppressing a grin, but she lost her willpower and smirked back at him. "Not this time."

"I always thought you were attractive. Beautiful. _Smashing_."

"You've told me. And now you're trying to embarrass me. Why are we talking about this?"

"You started it."

"I did?"

"You called me cute."

Olivia broke into exasperated laughter and strained to get closer to him from the other side of the island. "C'mere."

They managed a quick peck on the lips before collapsing back onto the stools on their respective sides.

"Noah," Olivia called to her son, "Are you ready?"

"I go wiff Daddy."

"No, you're going with me. You have to be there on time for rehearsal."

Both Ed and Noah wore blank expressions.

"For the concert?"

"We sing songs!" Noah exclaimed, suddenly remembering. "And I make da LION ROAR!"

"You know how to do that, right sweet boy? Did you tell your teachers you saw the lions at the theatre with Sarah and Brooke?"

"Nope. I ROARED when we singed da song."

Ed looked dazed. "Did I miss something? When is this concert? What song?"

"My fault," Olivia said, "I get the newsletter on my Gmail account and I'm bad about checking it."

"Good thing I get the soccer emails."

"Good thing," Olivia repeated, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. "Alright, let's go. Get your shoes on, Noah."

Noah ran down the foyer. Ed swooped over to the other side of the island to kiss his wife goodbye. Olivia loved that, after over a year of dating and several months of marriage, he still performed this tender, daily departing ritual. "Have a good day," he rasped, his lips still on hers. "I love you."

"I love _you,_ Captain Tucker." She dabbed at Ed's lips with her thumb. "Noah, come say bye to Daddy."

Noah's footsteps were unusually heavy. He appeared from the foyer wearing Ed's casual boots. "I wear da BIG SHOES 'gain!" He announced before erupting into giggles.

Ed picked him up and Noah managed to keep the oversized footwear on for a few seconds before they fell to the floor. "C'mon, bud. Let's get your shoes on. The ones that fit. You can't run around in my shoes." Ed took Noah back to the entryway.

"I run in da keets."

"Yep, at soccer."

"I take da keets?"

"No, those stay here."

"I gonna ROAR like da lion in da song."

"I know bud. Let's get these on so you're not late."

"Mommy!"

Olivia slung her purse and Noah's bag on the same shoulder and joined them at the door, "Yes, sweet Noah?"

"Lessgo!"

"Give me a hug and a kiss, pal."

Noah wrapped Ed's head in an extra ferocious bear hug and Ed smash-kissed his cheek, eliciting more giggles.

"Oh, wait," Ed said abruptly. He jogged away and quickly returned with a folded slip of paper which he handed to Olivia. "Here."

"What's this?"

"Read it later."

"What is it?"

"A note."

"A _note_?" She squinted at Ed who was blushing uncontrollably.

"Yeah, read it later," He kissed her cheek one last time before giving her a gentle shove and a wink, "You're gonna be late for rehearsal."

Olivia shot him an odd, quizzical expression, put the note in her pocket, took Noah's hand, and headed to the elevator.

…..

The squad reconvened in Olivia's office after spending the day searching for the city's latest predator—a young man with an uncanny resemblance to a musician popular with tweens who had created his own "entourage" and used his looks and his crew to entice young girls to a dingy apartment none of the vics could locate with certainty.

"They're escalating," Rollins reported, "The last vic had bruises on her head and arms, they forced her into the apartment after she said no. Tox screen came back positive for alcohol, still waiting to see what else."

"So far just the pictures? Do we have any idea where the images are going?"

Fin stepped up to the desk, "We've got 'em running facial recognition, but so far no hits."

Olivia groaned. "So we're looking for a five-ten white male with short blonde hair and blue eyes."

"And his equally Aryan friends," Carisi quipped but no one laughed.

Olivia closed the folders. "Well, keep the increased uni presence at all schools and on subways in the afternoons. The reports are all concentrated in Alphabet City…so we'll set up a perimeter there until we get 'em. These guys are amateurs."

"Got it, Lieu."

Everyone turned to inspect a minor commotion in the squad room and they exchanged smiles when Noah bounded into view with his backpack bouncing on his shoulders and Sarah trailing him. Brooke was originally scheduled to pick up Noah early for their weekly afternoon pizza date, but the final week of school presented scheduling challenges so Sarah offered to leave work early and fill in.

"Hi Noah!" The squad greeted him at the same time and he momentarily came to a complete stop, stunned by the attention.

"Hi," he whispered, suddenly shy.

"Livvie," Sarah entered, breathless and looking frazzled. "Sorry to interrupt your day, but we have absolutely no keys. And, like a complete idiot, I left my phone at the office, so we're going there next."

"Where're your keys?" Sonny asked facetiously.

Sarah rolled her eyes at herself. "I was out running last night and when I got back I realized I didn't zip the pocket on my jacket. Do _you_ have our spare key on ya?"

Carisi blushed and snuck a sideways glance at Olivia. "Nope."

Rollins interrupted their banter. "Oh God," she muttered under her breath.

All six of them, Noah included, watched Chief Dodds stride across the squad room and into the office. He scanned faces once, but then did a double-take at Sarah. "Do I know you?"

Sarah's eyes darted to Olivia, then Noah, and then back to the Chief. "Sure," she said hesitantly, not knowing how much she should reveal.

"You've met," Olivia interjected, "When Matt was in town. Remember, Chief?"

Dodds' memory jolted him. Yeah, yeah, now I remember." He made a clicking sound and waved a finger in the air, "Maker's and ginger ale."

Heat rushed to Olivia's face. She'd left Sarah at the bar with the Chief and Matt that day. Sarah hadn't been in a good place, but nobody knew that at the time. _What exactly happened_?

Sarah reached out for Noah as if he were a security blanket and backed him up against her legs. "That would be me," she replied casually.

Chief Dodds smiled at her. "Well, gang's all here I see. I may as well announce the good news. _Detective Carisi_ …"

Sonny took an uneasy step forward. "Chief?"

"I'll see you and your Lieutenant next week at Medal Day. You're SVU's newest recipient of the Meritorious Police Duty bar. Congratulations!"

Everyone huddled around Sonny, patting him on the back and gushing their compliments. Uncomfortable with the attention, his face reddened as he extracted himself from the group. He grabbed his phone from his back pocket, "I gotta call Brooke," he muttered.

In the commotion, the comment registered only with Sarah and Olivia who exchanged giddy glances.

Sarah mouthed, _calling Brooke_?

….

Ed Tucker clutched the small bouquet of daisies in one hand and tugged the restaurant door open with the other. Once inside the dimly lit lounge, he scanned the area for Olivia who reported she had snagged a corner table by the window. Sure enough, there she was, beaming at him from the opposite side of the room. Even though the circular bar and several television screens separated them, their eyes connected and a familiar warmth flooded his body. Ever since their first casual date, that same feeling engulfed him whenever they met like this. It was like seeing her for the first time, but better, because they belonged to each other. Olivia cocked an eyebrow at him as he paused to take in the sight of her from a distance. Her hair fell across her forehead and then down her shoulders in subtle waves. Freshly glossed lips curled upwards ever so slightly, happy to see him but sassy, almost daring him to approach.

"Can I help you, sir?" An eager waiter asked.

"Uh, no thanks, I'm meeting my wife."

"Do you know if she's been seated? I can—"

His presence annoyed Ed. "I see her," he murmured absent-mindedly, his eyes still fixated on Olivia.

Taking the hint, the man walked away.

Ever so slowly, Ed walked the perimeter of the bar. Olivia tracked him, her smile growing larger, but she tried to maintain an aura of aloofness. It seemed to match Tucker's approach.

He rounded the corner and put the flowers behind his back, loping hungrily toward her now, deftly weaving among high-top tables and dodging servers balancing cocktail trays. Initially moving deliberately, now some unseen force dragged him mercilessly toward his wife. As he got closer, her features became more defined, brighter… _real_. It was really her. His Olivia. Not something he'd observed from fifty feet away only to be seen and not touched. Leaning in to kiss her, arm still behind his back, he caught a whiff of perfume, not too strong, the fruity orangey scent she wore when she remembered, her shampoo, and he closed his eyes as he kissed her but sort of wanted to look around because he was positive every man in the room was reeling with jealousy that he got to touch those sweet lips with his own.

"Hey there," she said in a voice a few octaves lower than normal. "I thought you'd never get here."

"I had to stop and get these," Ed produced the bouquet.

"I meant," Olivia said slowly, flattered, inspecting the daisies, "It took you a while to get over here."

Ed got so close to her that the chair she was perched upon screeched against the brushed concrete floor, "Yeah, well, sometimes I have to take a minute, ya know?"

"To do what?"

" _Look at you_."

She smiled into his lips. Ed took the seat next to her and grinned when the waiter brought a bourbon Olivia had obviously ordered for him. "I told him to bring it when my husband arrived." She tipped her glass toward his, " _I_ love saying that. _My husband_."

For the next ten seconds or so they sat in silence, gazing into each other's eyes with silly smiles on their faces.

"I'm glad we could sneak away for a while tonight," Olivia said.

"Me too." Still lost in the features of her face, Ed's lips barely moved.

"I don't know what we're doing wrong with this guy," Olivia lamented, "He seems so amateurish, but we can't find him."

"Any more vics?"

"Not yet. We're flooding the area every day until we do."

"You will."

Appreciative of his unwavering confidence, Olivia squeezed his hand. "Thank you. And, I love the flowers."

"They reminded me of you."

Olivia noticed Ed was still in some sort of trance. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he gasped, "This week, there's been a lot goin' on, and I miss you." He saw her face fall and this time he grabbed her hand, "Don't do that. I'm not complaining. I don't want you to feel guilty. It's not that. It's just…when things are busy, I…I think I fall in love with you even more."

" _Captain_ ," Olivia tried to keep things on the light-hearted side even though her heart fluttered uncontrollably at the compliment.

Ed shook his head. "Nope. Not Captain, t'night."

Olivia's eyes dropped to his waist. No shield. No Glock. Only his belted black chinos and a burgundy polo. Somehow, the uncharacteristic act of leaving the police accoutrements at home thrilled her. Slowly, her eyes drifted to his wrists, silver cuff on the left, watch on the right. The mere sight of his arms turned her on—the thick, sturdy forearms leading to impeccably toned biceps that challenged the elasticity of the polo's sleeves. Closing the distance between them, she did a quick-once over of the rugged contours of his face, his defined cheekbones and jaw, and, finally, those dazzling blue eyes. For as long as she lived, looking into those eyes and having them gaze lovingly back at her would be her most favorite thing.

The kiss overstepped the boundary of chaste PDA and when they broke apart, both their faces were flushed and laughter ensued.

"You gonna be able to make it through dinner?" Olivia teased.

Ed pinched his bottom lip, "I think, uh, yeah, I think so. But let's not drag things out," he said with a smirk.

Olivia shifted in her chair. "Oh! I didn't tell you. Chief Dodds came in today." Ed rolled his eyes and took a drink while Olivia continued, "to _tell_ us that Carisi's getting the MPD bar next week."

Ed raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed, " _Wow_. Good for him. For all the undercover work?"

"Yep. And…you should've seen Sarah…and me, too, when he found out he _immediately_ wanted to call Brooke."

"Sarah? She was there?"

Olivia screwed up her face, frustrated that Ed was missing the main point, "Yes, she forgot her keys, but, did you hear what I said? The first thing Carisi said was he had to call Brooke!"

"Well, that's…interesting."

Olivia could tell he was trying not to smile. "I thought so, too."

"I didn't think they were that serious."

"It's hard to tell. Brooke doesn't say much."

Ed took a contemplative drink. "I just assumed she talked to you."

"She said a while ago that she wasn't sure he wanted to get serious…but I think, obviously, things changed."

A proud, smug expression filled Ed's face and he leaned forward, "Funny how…things can just _change_ like that, huh?"

Olivia matched his sass. "You sound like you've had a similar experience."

"Yeah," Ed mused, "One day, all of a sudden, this drop-dead gorgeous Sergeant I knew let me _kiss_ her." He reeled back with feigned shock.

" _Real-ly_?" Olivia replied with the same air of mystery, "That must have been a special moment."

"Oh it was. I'll never forget it." Ed lapsed into the memory of their first kiss. It happened almost two years ago, not long after Judge Linden signed the adoption papers. After daring to ask Olivia out to dinner, they meandered through Central Park as the sun set. He thought about how desperately he'd wanted to hold her hand, touch her, subtly, by accident, whatever…Ed had never felt so attracted to someone in his life. Then, she suddenly stopped walking.

"Somethin' the matter?" He'd asked even though she had the most serene look on her face.

"No," she replied softly, her eyes fixated on the Upper West Side skyline peeking out from below the trees and blanketed with a purplish early-evening haze. "I…I've lived in Manhattan my whole life, but, I love this view. It's one of my favorite places."

Ed followed her line of sight, "It's pretty remarkable." Then, he instinctively put a hand on her back; the action came reflexively and before he could worry about her whirling around and rejecting him, his fingers were moving back and forth across the black leather.

But she didn't whirl around. She sidled closer to him, and he closed the sliver of distance between them. There they stood, on the edge of the paved path, for several minutes, more to figure out what was next than to continue admiring the scenery.

"You wanna sit?"

Olivia turned to face him without stepping away and replied, in the softest voice imaginable, "No."

Her eyes unapologetically asked for a kiss, and Ed complied, well, he more than complied, tilting his head and meeting her lips with his slightly parted, sending a message that this was not something done out of mere obligation.

"Can I get you another round?"

Their heads snapped up at the waiter, the interloper, who beamed at his two dazed customers.

"Sure," Ed replied, blinking as he came out of the daydream. The waiter hurried off. "So, Sarah seem okay?"

"She did. Other than not having her keys or her phone. She took Noah back to her office to pick it up and, look." Olivia showed him a photo Sarah sent. Noah was seated at her desk in the large leather chair.

Seeing his son, Ed broke into a wide grin, "Whose glasses are those?"

Noah was wearing a pair of black-rimmed spectacles.

"I have no idea."

"I hope she doesn't go into this thing where she's pretending everything's fine," Ed said, "And then, knowin' we're kinda watching the alcohol intake, and hiding that. Could make things worse."

"You're right, but, the only thing we can do is keep the dialogue open and love her, Ed."

"I love _you_."

"I know. And I love you, Captain Tucker."

"I told you, no _Captain_ tonight."

Olivia lightly ran her fingertips over the top of his hands. " _Okayyyy_. But, what if I _want_ you to be Captain Tucker later?"

Ed broke into a shy smile, "You know I'll do anything you want."

Olivia interlaced her fingers through his. "You will, won't you?"

"Yeah," he said softly, leaning in for another kiss. "Hey, did you read the note?"

"I did."

"And?"

"I cried."

"Aw, c'mon." Ed nudged his wife gently.

"I forgot about it, and then, well, this afternoon I found it and I was in the office, waiting to hear if we caught the guy, and…there it was."

 _Liv,_

 _A year ago we landed back here after spending time in Paris. I didn't want to come back home, because things were so perfect there. But then I realized it was perfect here, too…as long as we're together. I'm eternally grateful that we found each other._

 _Love,_

 _Ed_

…..

Brooke marched into the apartment, went straight to the refrigerator for a beer, opened the bottle, and guzzled half before she said a word. From their seats at the island, Ed and Olivia stared blankly.

"I think I'll take Noah out," Ed announced. "No! Get the football and c'mon. We're leaving."

Minutes later, the boys were gone.

Olivia looked at Brooke expectantly. "What's going on?"

"I'm sure you know."

"The medal ceremony?" Olivia guessed, unsure why going to the ceremony would elicit this type of reaction.

"Yes, _and_ , last night, well, we were at his apartment and it's so small and cramped and…he always looks so nice, but his apartment is awful."

Olivia waited for Brooke to take another drink and make her point.

"So anyway, I left super early this morning because I wanted to get ready at home, and he was," Brooke hesitated and stared into her beer, "He was, you know, wanting me to _stay_."

Unlike Sarah, Brooke kept her love life close to her chest. Olivia had never heard her talk about former boyfriends and she was always the one to check Sarah when she ventured too far over the line. So, Olivia prodded Brooke lightly.

"Wanted you to stay…like miss work?"

Brooke's cheeks turned a dark crimson. "Like, he wanted…morning sex. And for me to get ready there, but I told him I wanted my bathroom and my things, and he got kind of upset. So I stayed a little while longer, and, on my way out, he mentioned _living_ together."

Now Olivia needed a drink. She motioned for Brooke to grab her a beer. "I didn't know you were that serious."

"I didn't either."

"What did you say?"

"I was literally on my way out. I had one foot out the door. And he says, 'it'd be nice to be in the same place' and I smiled and then I couldn't breathe. So now he probably thinks I screwed up. Did he say anything today?"

"No. And he was his usual self."

Brooke gripped the edge of the granite countertop so tightly her knuckles started to whiten. "I don't think I'm ready to have in move in with me. Us. Can you imagine? Me, Sarah, and Sonny? Like Three's Company or something."

"Is he there often?"

"Maybe three nights a week depending on if he's working."

"Do you like having him there?"

"Yes, I do, it's like, we're this little family…and Sarah's our kid." Brooke giggled at her remark and Olivia joined in.

"Sarah seems like she's doing okay…at least to me and your Dad. Is she?"

"I think so. She's been working a lot lately, she took Dad's advice on that one."

Olivia made sure to steer the conversation back to Brooke and Sonny. "So, you left the living together question just…out there?"

"I guess I did."

"It's not going away," Olivia pointed out sagely, "And Carisi doesn't say things he doesn't mean."

"No, he doesn't." Brooke's coloring returned to normal, "That's for sure. He kinda reminds me of Dad in that way."

"Your Dad really likes him."

"Probably because Sonny's the only one of your squad who he hadn't harassed."

Olivia almost choked on her beer. "Good point."

"Liv, when did you two, well, I guess, which one of you brought up living together?"

Brooke rarely used _Liv_ , and when she did, it meant she was in need of sincerity. Olivia happily obliged. "It was when we were all at the beach last summer."

"Oh yeah!" Brooke exclaimed brightly, "God, that was fun. And Dad, we, well, me and Sarah, we could tell he was so in love with you. And with Noah. We were constantly texting back and forth, sorry, but we'd never seen him like that."

"Like what?"

"So… _attentive_. And he wanted everything to be perfect for you. And…you can just tell. Even now, Liv, seriously, I know Sarah goes on and on about it sometimes, but he always looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the world."

Olivia deflected the flattery, "I see the same thing when he's with Noah."

Now it was Brooke's turn to guffaw. "Amen to that."

"But, seriously, it was at the beach when your Dad, he and I, it was late one night and we were on the balcony talking about whether or not we were going to drive back in one shot. And," Olivia grinned at the memory, "he was so nervous, that's why, don't just blow this off, Brooke, for Carisi to bring it up, he must really mean it. Anyway, he asked about living together and we decided it right then. We've lived together ever since."

"With no problems adjusting?"

"Not really. We'd been sort of de facto living together anyway. And…I had only lived with someone twice before that. A roommate at the academy and a boyfriend. So, I was a little nervous, because, well, you don't retrace those steps unless you're breaking up."

"Did you ever think you'd break up?"

"Not at that point. But I did worry, still _do_ worry, about not spending enough time with him and with Noah."

"Sonny's been spending more time with me." Brooke grabbed another beer and folded the bottle top between her thumb and index finger. "Like, all of a sudden, he's trying. I don't get it."

"Sounds like something to bring up when you talk about living together."

"And I should talk about it with Sarah first," Brooke said, "No way I'm moving in with _him_."

Olivia's phone vibrated against the countertop. The message elicited an eye roll.

"What is it?" Brooke asked.

"Your Dad and Noah are requesting our presence."

"Where?"

"In Noah's words, da pub."

…..

# **Tuckson**


	28. Chapter 28

**28**.

Sarah strode briskly, with purpose, through the squad room and into Olivia's office. The Lieutenant, accustomed to but not expecting family interruptions, whisked her glasses off and regarded Sarah with a smile and raised eyebrows.

She stood, arms akimbo, in front of the desk with a troubled, disconcerted expression that made her even more closely resemble her father.

"Should we close the door?"

"Nah," Sarah huffed, "Well, um, maybe." She practically punched the door, causing it to slam shut and immediately looked remorseful, "Sorry."

"Sare?"

Through a clenched jaw, Sarah managed to mutter, "Chief Dodds _called_ me."

"What?" Olivia tried not to sound too alarmed.

"Did you give him my number?"

"Of course not."

Through an exasperated breath, Sarah huffed, "Then it _was_ me. _Fuck_." She rubbed her eyes, "I gave my number to the guy, uh, Mike—"

"Matt."

"Yeah, Matt, um, that's where he got it."

"What'd he want?"

"To have a drink!"

Flabbergasted, Olivia flung herself backwards and hit the credenza, rattling but not overturning her framed photos. "And…are you going?"

" _Ye-ssss_. But I didn't know what to say and I didn't have a good excuse. I didn't even know who was calling. That's the problem. All communication should be done by text as far as I'm concerned, as soon as I picked up he was all, _Sarah_! And I was like, _huh_? And then he said he was Chief Dodds but _call him Bill_ and he thought it'd be fun to buy me a drink."

At a loss for words, Olivia wondered how in the world she was going to present this scenario to Ed without him immediately hunting down the chief and killing him. Sarah wrung her hands, kneaded at her eyes with her knuckles, and stared at the ceiling. "What. The. Fuck."

"When are you meeting?"

"In an hour."

"Oh."

" _Livvie_ ," Sarah dragged a chair over so she could sit directly in front of Olivia. "I've asked you this before and I was wrong. But I'm begging you this time. Just for tonight. Please. Can we keep this between us?"

"Call me when you leave," Olivia instructed. "Dodds is okay. Just…have a couple drinks and go. Blame it on us if you have to."

"Okay."

"Tell him you forgot you agreed to babysit."

"Okay."

Then, something dawned on Olivia. "Sare?"

"Uh-huh?"

"What happened the first time you met the Chief?"

"We had a few drinks after you left and they took me home," Sarah replied innocently.

"That's it?"

"Well, Matt was supposed to call me, but he never did."

Disappointment clouded Sarah's face at the memory. Olivia understood. Sarah was gorgeous and used to men fawning over her. Matt Dodds failing to call her must have been a torturous snub.

"Matt had a lot going on."

"And he lives in…California or something."

Fin knocked on the door and let himself in, "Liv, we gotta situation."

"Be right there." Olivia waited for Fin to close the door again. "We'll keep this between us for right now," she said seriously, "But…one drink. Maybe two. No more. And _text_ _me_."

….

Carisi parked his sedan outside of the South Bronx middle school were Brooke worked. Charming the typically ornery desk clerk, he was allowed to go to her classroom without an escort. On his way he nodded collegially to students and parents who were still lingering after the morning's awards ceremony. After wandering in what he deemed to be an endless maze of identical-looking hallways, he pulled out his phone and called Brooke who guided him to her classroom. Finally, he heard her actual live voice and not just the audio coming through the phone.

"Hey, B! Thanks, I—"

Brooke's calmly delivered instructions masked her emotions. She'd obviously been crying, and she sat on top of her desk, staring blankly at the empty desks, while resting an elbow on one of the few boxes she'd packed. Carisi rushed over to hug her.

"You okay?"

She shuddered and sniffled. "I didn't think it'd be this hard to say goodbye. I mean, it's always hard at the end of the year, but I'll never see these kids again."

"Aw, you don't know that, you can still keep in touch if you wanna."

"That never happens."

Carisi gently caressed her head, "It can if you want it to. And even if it doesn't happen, you made those kids' lives better by being their teacher this year. They'll never lose that."

Brooke leaned back, nodding and wiping her nose with a ratty tissue. "Ok," she said, taking a deep breath, "Enough of this. I'm all packed and ready to go. Let's get out of here." Suddenly smiling brightly, she added, "I'm on vacation!"

Carisi ran his thumbs under her eyes, ridding her skin of residual tears. "You are, so, let's celebrate. I'm not working tonight or Saturday so I can be at the party…if…that's what ya want?"

Brooke regarded him with wide, curious eyes, "Of course that's what I want. Why are you asking?"

"Just making sure," he answered with a shrug. "Lieu's the one who invited me."

"She invited everybody, it was her idea, or _their_ idea, my Dad included."

At the last minute, Ed and Olivia decided to host a get together at their apartment and have it serve the dual purpose of celebrating Brooke's new job and Father's Day which everyone in the family had almost forgotten. They invited Caroline and, despite Ed's fear of a Mother's Day repeat performance, included John and Margie.

"I know," Carisi stacked three boxes and easily lifted them from the desk. "I don't wanna assume, though, anything, ya know?"

Brooke was glad they were walking out with boxes so she could avoid eye contact during the borderline uncomfortable conversation. "Sonny, I want you there, okay? That's why Olivia invited you."

"Oh…okay, um, should I bring anything? Oh! I'll have my mother make cannoli, the pistachio ones you like."

Brooke blushed a little. Despite having dated Carisi for a while now, his attention to detail and thoughtfulness still amazed her, so much so that she had to spend a long time convincing herself that his personality was genuine and not some act he was putting on just to get close to her and her family.

"I _love_ those," she said.

Carisi was glad to hear her normal tone return. "Great, so, where you wanna go? Fancy? Dive bar? Somewhere in the middle a those?"

"Let's hit a dive bar first and then just, like, someplace casual for dinner?"

"Cool." Sonny popped the trunk and shoved the boxes in among bulletproof vests and other police equipment. "We'll drop this stuff off and I gotta take the car back, though. Sorry."

"No problem."

Before making his way to the driver's seat, Sonny gallantly opened the passenger door for Brooke. She smiled and moved to sit down, but he grabbed her forearm and kissed her. "I meant to do that first thing," he explained shyly.

Brooke felt goosebumps form on her back and she blushed again, this time from nervous excitement. "Well," she said slowly, licking her lips and trying to be flirty, "Your tardiness is forgiven."

He flashed a relieved grin. "Thanks. Now. Let's go. I've been waiting all day to cheers with you!"

….

Noah ran back and forth from one interrogation room window to the other while his mother munched on the pasta primavera he and his father brought her for dinner. Ed perched himself on a corner of her desk, and Noah fist-bumped him each time he passed.

"This is so good," Olivia reported between bites, " _Thank you_. Noah, was it your idea to bring Mommy something to eat?"

"Uh-uh!" Noah breathlessly replied. " _Daddy_ say, we bring da food!"

Olivia smiled sweetly at her husband. A hand drifted to his hip and she tugged a little at his pocket, "Thanks, _Daddy_."

"You're welcome," he replied. "We'll get outta here soon."

"What are you two going to do?"  
"Think maybe watch a movie? Looks like it might rain." Ed crouched down to peer out the window.

"You know, they have weather apps," Olivia teased.

Ed brushed off the suggestion, "Nah, I go by evidence and instinct." Catching sight of Fin and Rollins escorting two cuffed perps through the squad room, Ed called Noah over. "C'mon, pal. Let's head home. Kiss Mommy."

Noah ran into Olivia's arms for a kiss. "Bye, sweet boy."

"Bye, Mommy." Noah caught sight of one of the men in the interrogation room. "Who dat?"

Olivia craned her neck to follow his line of sight. "That's…my work. I have to go ask him questions now."

" _Ohhhh_ ," Noah cooed. "I go wiff you?"

"No, sweet boy, you go with Daddy."

Ed plucked Noah from Olivia's lap. "You and I, my friend, are gonna get some junk food and watch movies til Mommy gets home."

Noah giggled as Ed slung him over his shoulder and readied to leave.

"Hey," Olivia stood up and frowned.

Ed spun around with a quizzical expression.

"I didn't get a goodbye kiss from Daddy." Olivia grinned as Ed's eyes darted from the office to the squad room. Officers milled about. Rollins was in one interrogation room with a perp, but Fin had returned to his desk, wanting to consult with Olivia before proceeding. Ed raised his eyebrows as Olivia closed the distance between them and gave him a quick but conspicuous peck on the lips.

"Bye," she whispered.

Shock registered on Ed's face as he rasped his own goodbye.

….

Outside, Ed was strapping Noah into the car seat when he heard the unmistakable friendly voice of Sonny Carisi call his name. The detective slammed the sedan door and rushed over to greet them.

"Hey, guys!"

Noah waved, "Hi Sonny!"

Ed reached out to shake his hand, "How ya doin?"

"Good, just picked up Brooke from school, she had a few boxes to bring home."

"Yeah, her last day," Ed recalled, "She okay?"

"Yep! Think it was a little tough to leave, but she's good now." Carisi jiggled the keys, "I gotta get these up to Lieu, then we're goin' out."

"I'll wait, drop you off if you want," Ed offered.

"Thanks Captain! I'll be right back."

Seconds after Ed turned the key in the ignition, Sonny returned and slid onto the passenger seat. He slapped five with Noah and chatted with him about school, the upcoming concert, and, of course, soccer.

"I kick da ball in da net!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I have ovver ball, too. Daddy frow it."

"Football," Ed clarified.

"That's cool," Sonny said, "One a these days I'm gonna come to a game Noah."

"Sisters come."

"I know. They're your biggest fans. I wanted to come last weekend but I had to work."

"At p'lice?"

"Yep, you got it. At police."

"So, you ever give any serious thought to becoming an ADA?" Ed asked.

Carisi drummed a beat on the tops of his legs, "I think about it all the time, but, I'm happy here. I like it. Doesn't feel right to leave, and, I may wanna try the Sergeant's exam next time it's offered."

Amazed, Ed replied, "That's impressive."

"Just wanna have as many options as possible."

"Get promoted, though, and they'll move ya."

"I know, that's the tough part about it."

"Sonny! You watch movie wiff us?"

Carisi craned his neck to see Noah, "Sorry, No. I can't. I'm taking Brooke out to dinner."

"Eat pizza?"

"Maybe. Brooke's choice."

"Brookey like pizza," Noah stated confidently.

They crossed Ninth Avenue and approached Brooke's building. Ed pulled over to let Sonny out.

"Thanks for the lift, Captain. So long, Noah! See you Saturday!"

"Bye, Sonny!"

Ed ducked his head to look Sonny in the eye after he was out of the car. "Hey, Carisi?"

"Yeah, Captain?"

"You can call me Ed, ya know."

Carisi smiled, "Thanks, Captain…I'll…try that sometime."

….

Sarah used Chief Dodds' restroom break to send yet another text to Olivia. She arrived at the bar first and ordered a shot of vodka to calm down, so now that they finished their first cocktail and had ordered a second, Sarah began to feel the pleasant, familiar effects of the buzz.

 _Having the second drink now. And this is IT. But, he's nice_.

He _was_ nice. The Chief arrived a few minutes late and greeted her with an apology and a handshake. Sarah excused him and stroked his ego a little by marveling that his job must be of the 'round the clock variety and she admired him, her Dad, and Olivia for being so dedicated. After insisting she call him Bill, he asked about her job and she explained her new project which required her to use her fluency in Spanish. Dodds complimented her for being bilingual and told her he wished he had learned a different language when he was young. As an adult, he found it impossible.

It took a few minutes for Olivia to text back, and, when she did, she made sure to emphasize that Sarah should leave after the second round. Olivia assumed the Chief had motives other than a friendly five o'clock cocktail, and she didn't trust Sarah's ability to fend him off while she was under the influence.

The drinks had not yet arrived when Dodds returned. He frowned and got the bartender's attention.

"Sorry, sir," he said, "Had to get another bottle of Maker's."

Seconds later, their orders arrived and Dodds proposed the second toast of the evening, "To being bilingual," he said with a grin.

"So, how's Matt?"

Dodds responded flatly, clearly not interested in talking about Matt. "He's doing well. Almost done with his degree."

"That's a good feeling, to be almost done," Sarah said.

"Did you finish your Bachelor's and go right into the MBA program?"

Sarah gulped her drink. "I did. I wanted to delay the real world as long as possible."

"Penn?"

"Yep."

"Musta been tough, and you must be an excellent student."

Sarah felt her face redden at the compliment, "I had my moments." She took another drink, nearly finishing the glass. Both she and Dodds downed their second drinks quickly.

He waved the bartender over and, without checking with Sarah, ordered another round. She checked her phone and saw another check-in text from Olivia.

 _Leaving soon_ , was Sarah's reply. For the purpose of appearing normal, she added several pink heart emojis.

"Have some place else you need to be tonight?" Dodds asked.

"Nope," Sarah replied, gingerly sipping from the too-full glass. "Schedule's clear."

….

Sonny and Brooke started kissing in the elevator and did their best to continue the kiss, giggling, as they stumbled toward the apartment door.

"I…haveta find my keys," Brooke said, struggling to talk with Sonny refusing to peel his lips from hers. She rummaged around in her purse, produced the keys, and, once inside, Carisi backed her up against the door.

"Let's get you outta these clothes," he muttered, bunching her shirt in one of his fists. He broke away from her momentarily to fling the tunic from her body but immediately latched back on to her neck.

Brooke yanked at his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. "This is great beginning to my vacation," she gasped, tilting her head back to give Carisi more room to explore. He continued running his tongue and lips along her collarbone and reached behind for the blasp on her bra.

Stepping back to admire her exposed chest, he grinned, " _That's_ better."

"Let's go to the bedroom. Sarah could come back at any minute." Brooke bent down to pick up their clothes and grabbed his hand, "C'mon."

Still glued together, they made the short trip to Brooke's bedroom. Once behind the locked door, Sonny blindly tried to turn on the iHome.

"How 'bout some music?"

"Okay."

He selected one of his favorite Pearl Jam albums, shimmied completely out of his jeans, and crawled over Brooke, clad in only his boxer briefs, and went to work divesting her of her pants.

"B, you're…so…beautiful."

She broke into a wide grin.

"And I love it when you smile like that."

Carisi lowered himself and swirled his tongue around each of her nipples, giggling a little when she shuddered and moaned.

"Like that?"

" _Mmmmmmm_ ," Brooke hummed, stroking his head and he moved down her torso. "I _love_ that."

"I'm falling in love with you, Brooke Tucker," Sonny mumbled before sliding her panties off. The gravity of the statement didn't seem to register with Carisi, because he remained hovered over the center of Brooke's body and trailed kisses up her inner thigh.

Brooke, on the other hand, froze.

Did he just say he loved her?

No, he said he was _falling_ in love with her.

She was torn between stopping him for clarification and urging him on because what he was doing _felt so good_.

"Oh, Sonny," she gasped, thrashing now in response to the flicks of his tongue.

He looked up at her, face glistening, "Alright?"

The concern and care in his eyes turned Brooke on even more. She dug her fingers into his shoulders.

"Don't stop."

…..

Olivia tasted herself on Ed's tongue as he ravaged her mouth with his own. They were an absolute mess of damp hair, tangled sheets, and bodily fluids, but it was so erotic, so passionate, and as Ed began thrusting in and out of her, she alternated between gasping _I love yous_ and muffling her shrieks by biting his shoulder.

It was almost midnight when she got home and she found Ed on the sofa waiting up for her. He'd poured her a drink when he received the _I'm on my way_ text, and he held out the bourbon as soon as she emerged from the foyer.

"Thank you," she said, kissing him. She tossed her blazer over the armrest and snuggled into his chest, but he allowed her to stay there for only a few seconds before taking her face in his hands and planting a passionate smooch on her lips.

Stunned by the sudden outburst, she blinked and grinned, "What was that for?"

"I _love_ you."

"I love you, too."

"And…you kissed me today…in your office…in front of everybody."

"It was just a little kiss," Olivia replied.

"You don't usually do that."

"I'm changing the definition of usual."

Ed kissed her again on the mouth and then ran his tongue along the outline of her ear, "Fine with me…I was…surprised."

"I know."

From there, they left the bourbons on the coffee table and frantically made a beeline for the bedroom where they now lay panting, sated, curled together on top of the bed with the breeze from the ceiling fan wafting over their slick bodies.

"God, Ed," Olivia droned, "How is it possible, this, _every time_ , is better?"

"Cause I love you more everyday," Ed replied matter-of-factly.

Olivia chuckled softly.

"I _do_ ," Ed added insistently.

"I do, too."

"I'm obsessed," he said, "That feeling when you _finally_ get something you've always wanted."

"You've _had_ me for a while now."

"The novelty of being with you, making love to you, will never wear off, Liv."

Olivia traced circles around his belly button. "You do the best pillow talk."

She felt him shrug. "Just sayin' what's on my mind." He kissed the top of her head. "All part of the obsession."

…..

Sarah entered the dark apartment and listened for sounds or movement. Hearing nothing, she turned on a table lamp and fumbled around in the dark for a wine glass and the Chardonnay she'd opened a day ago. She angled her head to see into the hallway and noticed a bluish glow coming from Brooke's room. She and Sonny were probably watching a movie.

Before connecting her almost-dead phone to the charger, she checked her texts one last time. The last one from Olivia arrived several hours ago, after Sarah reported she was leaving soon.

 _Call me if you need me_ , was Olivia's reply.

Sarah forced an exasperated laugh.

It was too late to call now.

Instead, Sarah grabbed the glass and the wine bottle, collapsed on the sofa, and spent the early morning hours staring at the ceiling, wishing she could get a re-do of the past twenty-four hours.

….

#Tuckson


	29. Chapter 29

**29**.

Noah veered from his team huddle to greet Sonny and Brooke as they set up folding chairs next to Olivia and Ed.

"Sonny! See my keets?"

Carisi knelt down to inspect the footwear. " _Niiice_! I like the silver."

The referee blew the whistle.

"No, you better go now, pal. Good luck!"

"Kay, Daddy!"

Carisi sat down next to Ed, marveled at how organized everything looked, and Ed remarked that the games usually began well but soon became a chaotic mess of kids running in one gigantic mass. "If anyone scores a goal," Ed said, "It'll be in the first five minutes."

"Well, glad I could come," Sonny said, "Nice to have the weekend off. Well," he glanced at Olivia, "Except for tomorrow."

"It's nice of you to cover for Fin," Olivia said, "It's his first Father's Day as _grandpa_."

Sonny cringed, "Don't say that around him. I called him gramps and he almost tore me a new one. But…you're the boss, so you're safe, Lieu."

Olivia laughed, "I don't know, he's kinda prickly with that term."

Once the game started, Ed could no longer sit and he gravitated toward the sidelines with the other Dads. Carisi followed. Olivia got comfortable in the chair and watched Noah and the other kids blend in with one another, knowing that she would be able to tell by keeping an eye on Ed if he was breaking away for another goal. She sized up her husband, liking the way his calves contracted as he moved to follow the action and relishing the sight of him in khaki cargo shorts and a black pullover. He'd emerged that morning with a different shirt on, but Noah frowned and explained that he wanted Daddy to wear black since he was wearing his black jersey. Ed changed clothes without question. The pullover was fitted enough to hint at his toned physique and even though she'd spent part of the night cuddled against his bare chest, there was something alluring about him in this setting.

Figuring she'd admired her husband long enough, Olivia asked about Sarah. She hadn't missed a game since the season started.

Brooke removed the lid from her coffee and blew into the steaming liquid, "Sleeping in. She got home pretty late."

Olivia nodded. Yesterday, in her haste to get everything ready for this afternoon's get-together, she'd forgotten to follow up with Sarah, but she assumed everything went according to plan, the evening ended without incident, and Sarah went on with her life.

" _Annnd_ ," Brooke continued, "She's afraid to tell you, but…she's going to leave your place early today. Apparently, she met some guy and he's taking her out to dinner."

It was all Olivia could do to keep herself from choking on her own coffee. "Where…" she coughed a little, "Where'd she meet him?"

"I dunno," Brooke responded gloomily and lowered her voice, "I was so busy with the end of the school year, and…things with Sonny…they've been so great, we really haven't talked much."

Unable to think of another innocent question, Olivia asked about whether or not Brooke had talked to Sarah or to Carisi about their living situation.

"No," Brooke was whispering now, "But I really want to talk to you about something."

Olivia turned and tucked on leg underneath her. "What's goin' on?"

Brooke checked to make sure Sonny was sufficiently occupied. "It involves the _L_ -word."

Taken aback, Olivia opened her eyes wide and leaned in, wanting more information. "He said it?"

"He said—"

"Brooke! Lieu! Look!"

On the field, Noah and his opponent chased after the ball. They matched one another stride for stride until they got closer to the object. The other boy, a little taller and bigger than Noah, crossed his path, tripping Noah, and causing him to fly forward. He landed on his hands and knees and slid a foot or so on the slick grass.

Ed started to run to his side and Olivia ejected herself from the chair, expecting their son to burst into tears. Surprising both his parents, Noah pulled himself up and, with a look of sheer determination, continued his pursuit of the now-out-of-bounds ball. The referee set up for the corner kick and waved Noah over.

"Eighteen! You take this one!"

All four of Noah's family members watched intently as he scrunched up his face and concentrated.

"Go ahead, buddy," The referee said.

"I kick da ball now?"  
"Yep!"

"Kay," Noah said through clenched teeth. He took a running start and launched the ball forward with a ferocious kick. It bounded toward the other kids, caromed off a few legs, and then back in Noah's direction.

"Boot it again, pal!" Ed shouted, unable to contain his excitement.

Olivia held her own face in her hands.

Brooke clutched Sonny's forearm. "Kick it, Noah!"

Noah ran to the ball and tapped it a couple times before he wound up and fired. The ball grazed the goal post and ricocheted into the net.

"GOAL!"

" _NOAHHHHHH_!" Carisi shouted, jabbing the air with his arms. If it weren't for Brooke hugging his waist, he may have sprinted onto the field.

Ed beamed. Olivia grinned from ear to ear.

Brooke screwed up her face. All of the other kids, including members of the other team, were jumping up and down in celebration. Noah, however, remained motionless until the referee approached him. The young man knelt down, exchanged a few words with the little boy, mussed his hair, and jogged to get the ball out of the net. Noah ran back to the middle of the field.

"Wonder what he said?" Olivia mused.

After the game, Ed went over to ask the referee and he returned, grinning, after a few minutes.

"Noah didn't think it was a goal," he explained, unable to stop smiling, "Because it hit the post."

Noah overheard. "It ok!" He said cheerfully, "Still went in da net!"

…

" _Liv_ ," Ed panted desperately. He grasped her shoulders and helped her slide up his body to meet his mouth in a deep, fiery kiss.

"Happy Father's Day, Captain," she rasped pausing to inhale a sharp breath. Ed throbbed with arousal and he tried to think about something else, anything else, to calm himself down, but his wife was too beautiful and the affections she'd just lavished on him with her lips and tongue were so rare that he had to tear his lips from hers and rush to flip them over. "I need you. _Now_ ," he explained and proceeded to do all he could to show his appreciation for what she'd just done.

Olivia scratched and squeezed at him as he began with a rapid pace and then slowed suddenly.

"Scream for me, baby."

" _Harder_."

He looped one arm under her and put the other hand on her thigh, spread her legs wide, and slammed back into her until the requested shrieks filled the air. If Ed hadn't been on the verge of his own, almost violent, release he would have bet money that the sounds had woken Noah. When Ed collapsed on top of his wife, sweating and barely able to breathe, his head cleared just enough to think that, any minute, they would hear their son cry out for them or, perhaps, request entry.

" _Liv_."

"Yeah?" Totally spent, Olivia's legs and one of her arms were splayed across the bed. The other arm curled around Ed's shoulders and she ran her fingertips along his shoulder blades.

"I dunno what to say."

"Me neither."

" _Fuck_."

Olivia felt his lips move against her chest and she shivered at the sensation. "You okay?"

"More than okay, _thank_ _you_." Ed propped himself on an elbow so he could see her face.

The plush pillow encased her head and she blinked expectantly. "At what point does Noah show up?" She joked.

"That _was_ loud."

"Yeah it was," she replied with a flirty smile.

"Liv, I know, it's not always—"

Seeing the deep gratitude mixed with concern in his eyes, Olivia immediately put a finger to his lips. "I _wanted_ to do it, Ed."

He pursed his lips against her finger. "You know it's not necessary…right?"

"I know…but…every once in a while—"

"It's outta your comfort zone, Liv, I—"

Olivia caressed his cheek, "It usually _is_. But I…I don't know…it felt… _right_. And it still does."

Ed closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay," he rasped, putting his head back on her chest. A few minutes later, Olivia felt his breathing get heavier with sleep. She stared at the ceiling, thinking about the day and allowing reality to wash back over her.

The party went off without a hitch. John and Margie behaved themselves, and Caroline spent most of the time bantering with Carisi who charmed her with his witty intellect and his polite manners. As an added bonus, Caroline approved of the way he mixed gin-and-tonics.

"Brookey," Caroline said after one particular refill, "You hang on to this boy. And if you don't, send 'em over to me!"

"Okay, Grandma," Brooke placated.

"And, I'm going to have you two over for Sunday dinner next weekend," Caroline added spontaneously. "I'm sure Sonny can have the afternoon off, he has pull with the boss!"

The boss winked at Brooke when Caroline uttered her compliments and, later on, when Ed and Carisi were assessing Noah's walls for another floating shelf installation, Olivia pressed Brooke for more details about, as Brooke had put it, the _L-Word_. Unlike the last reveal of her private life, Brooke was at ease and casually tucked strands of hair behind her ear. Keeping one eye out for signs of the men, she relayed the story in a hushed voice.

"We were in bed. And he said he was _falling in love with me_."

"And…you said?"

"Um," Now she blushed, "We were kinda in the middle of something, so I didn't actually say anything."

Biting her lip to keep from smiling, Olivia astutely pointed out, "So that's twice he's put something out there and…"

"Shit," Brooke said with an exasperated chuckle, "And I've left it… _out there_."

"Don't do or say anything you're not ready for," Olivia put her hand on Brooke's forearm, "But, maybe, he'd appreciate knowing you're thinking about it…and where this is headed? And, maybe, you like where it's headed? If, in fact, you do?"

Brooke smiled gratefully, "Good point. Yeah. I can do that. Doesn't sound _too_ scary."

"It's always a little scary."

"But he deserves something."

The guys returned, seemingly talking at once but also deeply engaged in conversation. They each held a beer and Carisi transported Noah on one leg. The little boy held on with a death grip and Carisi swung him with each exaggerated step.

"Yeah," Olivia murmured, "That he does."

…

Olivia managed a few minutes of alone time with Sarah under the guise of showing her the lion costume Noah would wear next week for his preschool's concert. In Noah's room, Sarah gushed over the garb, but her glee didn't last long. Olivia treaded lightly, but seriously.

"I didn't hear from you after you met with the Chief."

Sarah kept her eyes fixed on the costume, "Not much to report."

"You sure?"

"Livvie," Sarah replied sweetly, "It was no big deal. We had a couple of drinks. He's a nice guy. Seems kinda lonely. I overreacted, and I shouldn't have bothered you at your office."

Slightly hurt, Olivia replied, "You can come to my office anytime. You can come _here_ anytime. You can call or text anytime. You know that, right?"

Sarah gazed out the window, "Of course."

"Who are you going to dinner with tonight?"

Sarah pinched her forehead and swallowed the burn of the lie she was about to tell. "Someone from work. He's…his family's in California, so I kind of felt bad for him."

"You could've invited him here."

"We're _coworkers_ ," The ease with which the fabricated story flew out of Sarah's mouth frightened her and she fought back a wince and gulped remorse. "I don't want to give him the wrong idea."

Olivia didn't believe anything Sarah said, and her emotions toggled back and forth between motherly disappointment and anger at being betrayed. She made up her mind right there to tell Ed everything and vowed to come clean as soon as their guests were gone.

The problem was, the night ended perfectly. After Sarah left, everyone else passed the evening playing games and engaging in friendly trash-talk and hearty laughter. Noah made sure to sit on everyone's lap—he began the gaming sitting with Olivia, moved to Brooke, then Carisi, and ended the night falling asleep against Ed's chest during the second round of Scrabble. It was just past midnight when Brooke and Sonny departed, and, as everyone exchanged goodbyes, Brooke and Olivia grinned when they witnessed Ed shake Carisi's hand and then pull him close in a kind of collegial, half-hug.

Olivia and Ed stowed the games and loaded glasses into the dishwasher. All the while, Ed wore a proud smirk and when Olivia asked what he was thinking about, he simply replied, "This was really fun."

Nodding at the clock, Olivia said, "Well, it's officially Father's Day…care for a little more _fun_ , Captain?"

Now here she was, cradling Ed as he slept against her bare breasts, wondering when exactly the moment of truth would present itself. Noah would be up in a couple hours and he had elaborate plans for "Favver's Day"—breakfast, the park, and, of course, presents. Olivia convinced herself there was no harm in delaying the conversation. Bothering her more was Sarah's evasion but also her unmistakable giddiness—she was clearly excited and eager to leave the apartment for her dinner date, and Olivia had a hard time attributing the mood to Chief Dodds.

Ed stirred briefly in a dream, and lifted his head with a start before nestling back into his wife. Olivia's affection for him was, at that instant, trumped only by her guilt and what she knew he would see as a breach of the trust they'd so carefully constructed. She decided against waking him right then and instead vowed to tell him everything first thing tomorrow morning before they continued their Father's Day celebration.

…

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

Ed woke up in the wee hours of morning. Rather than get dressed, he locked the bedroom door, returned to bed, and snuggled next to his wife. He covered them with the duvet and looped one leg around hers, preferring to spend the rest of their early morning as close together as possible.

An hour and a half later as the sun began sending rays of light across the bedroom, he heard Noah's footsteps, faint at first and growing stronger as he drew near. Noah could open the door, but, finding it more difficult than usual, pounded on it with his little fists. As far as Ed was concerned, it was the only acceptable interruption.

His son.

The little boy he'd always wanted but never thought he'd get a chance to raise.

Until, in his early fifties, everything changed. Olivia Benson suddenly became attainable. She remained aloof at first, distant, holding him at arm's length until one day, after they'd kissed a few times, he laid everything on the line.

 _I want you and your son_.

Of course, he was more eloquent about it. Their early conversations, as they got to know one another as colleagues, then friends, and, finally, lovers, were often uncomfortable. But, they hashed everything out, they found common ground, they forgave…yet, Olivia always hesitated. Ed could tell by the look on her face that he hadn't fully won her over.

" _I feel like, someday, you're going to realize you don't want a girlfriend and her kid and you'll just throw your hands up and leave."_

Her honesty humbled, chastened, and also disappointed him. But it had to be said. And that day, a few weeks before Mike Dodds died, Ed made it very clear that, in his mind, his life now included the _three of them_.

And he had never been happier.

"Dad-dy! Dad-dy! You in dere?"

Ed found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Olivia mumbled something unintelligible and yanked a sheet over her head.

Noah stood on the other side of the door clad in his football pajamas with Bernie in one hand. Adorably, his bed head was even more wild than usual and he looked up at Ed with a slight glare, annoyed he'd been locked out on this special day.

"Hey bud! G'mornin!"

Noah noticed his mother still sleeping and whispered, "It Favver's Day."

"Yeah, pal. Let's let Mommy sleep s'more."

"Have pessent fer Daddy."

"Can I wait to get it, bud? So Mommy can see me open it, too?"

"Uh-huh! We watch c'toons?"

"Yeah, go press the buttons and I'm gonna make coffee. You want juice or milk?"

"Choc'it milk!"

"You got it!"

Ed mixed the chocolate milk and delivered Noah's cup before he made the coffee.

"Fank you, Daddy!"

"You're welcome, pal." Ed flipped through the channels and found Noah's shows. "Here ya go."

"You watch wiff me?"

"Yeah, pal, hang on a minute, I'm getting my coffee."

The Kuerig growled, rumbled, and spewed a fresh cup of dark roast. Ed took his usual spot beside Noah who hadn't yet taken a sip. He held out the plastic sippy cup and shouted, "Cheers!"

Ed grinned, "Cheers, pal. I love you."

"Lubbyou Daddy! It Favvers Day!" Then he gulped down his rare sweet morning treat, contentedly watching cartoons cuddled securely under Ed's arm.

….

After making breakfast together, the three Tuckers packed a bag and headed to the park for a couple hours. They began at the playground and then parked themselves on a blanket in a partially shaded spot which provided a perfect view of people frolicking on the lawn and the midtown skyline. Noah performed somersaults nearby and inspected the ground for unique pebbles which he piled on one corner of the blanket with specific instructions to leave the collection alone. With him occupied, Olivia took a deep breath and told Ed about Sarah.

Predictably, his jaw stiffened as he processed the news that Chief Dodds brazenly called his daughter and took her out for drinks. More unbelievable to Ed, though, was that Sarah accepted.

"She said something about being caught off guard," Olivia explained.

"What the hell does that mean? It's a yes or no question for Chrissakes."

Olivia reached over and gripped his shoulders, turning him to face her. "Sarah asked me to keep it between the two of us and I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. I thought…I didn't want to ruin yesterday and today, but I just felt more and more guilty."

Ed's features softened slightly, "I trust you to make those decisions, Liv. I don't expect you to tell me _everything_ Sarah and Brooke tell you. Like the other day, I don't need to know about whatever it was Brooke came over to talk about."

Olivia pressed her lips together. "But, Chief Dodds? Having drinks with Sarah? That doesn't bother you?"

"Of course it does, he and I, we go way back, way, way back to the academy even. I've never liked him, I don't trust him…too political…always looking to win points with the DA and the Mayor and everybody else." Ed saw the skepticism on Olivia's face. "What else, Liv?"

"Last night…I think she may have had dinner with him."

"What? Why?"

"She said she was going out with someone from work, but she was lying, Ed. I…I'm a cop…I can tell…and Brooke said she was out late Friday night without saying exactly who she was with."

Ed pulled his phone from his pocket.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Sarah."

"To say what?"

"I'm going to ask her if she's seeing Bill Dodds. And then I'm going to tell her he's a deplorable human being."

"Ed, she's an adult. Do you really think she's going to not see someone because you don't approve?"

He tossed the phone aside. "So what am I supposed to do? Let her keep lying to you? Us? You really think we're gonna be hosting family stuff with _Bill Dodds_ in attendance? Seriously?"

Olivia only stared back at him, unsure of the answer.

"And Sarah's so screwed up, she doesn't know what she wants. Getting attention from an old man like Dodds? Has power? She probably thinks she loves it…but he's not…" Ed trailed off.

"Not what?"

"I know him, Liv. I know what he's about. He always had…young, beautiful women he liked to impress," Mortification filled Ed's features as he came to a realization and murmured, "The medal ceremony."

"What?"

"He always has a date there, and for the ball, and… _that's_ what he's up to. Wants his pretty young date for the next event."

Olivia rifled through her memory. With the exception of a few functions, Ed was right. Dodds usually brought an attractive young date to NYPD functions. "Surely, Sarah wouldn't just show up with him? Without telling us? Or Brooke? Obviously, we'll be there."

Ed's shoulders slumped. "Liv, right now, I wouldn't put anything out of the realm of possibility."

"Hey," Olivia scooted so their knees were touching and she took his hands in hers, "I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault Sarah's a mess."

"But it is my fault I kept something from you."

"You were just tryin' to have a smooth weekend. I get it."

Olivia dipped her head and stared intently into his eyes, "Ed, please tell me, if you're upset. You have every right to be. I don't want…this…or anything else to drive a wedge between us. We're… _so good_."

With nothing but pure love in his eyes, he gazed back at her and leaned in for a kiss. "We are. And I'm sorry she put you in a tough spot. Again. You don't deserve that…to be punished for being… _you_." He kissed her again, this time lingering on her lips and fully intending to cross the line to a type of PDA that would typically make Olivia balk, but Ed had competition.

From a few feet away, Noah caught sight of his parents locked in their amorous embrace. He took a running start and propelled his little body onto Olivia's back and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

Ed and Olivia groaned as they crashed into each other. Noah giggled.

"Hi, sweet Noah!"

"Hey bud!"

Noah reached over and tried to include Ed in the hug. "You kiss Mommy 'gain?"

"Yep."

Noah pressed a firm kiss against the side of Olivia's head. "I kiss Mommy, too!"

Olivia flipped him over on his back between them and tickling ensued. When they let up, she cradled the boy like an infant and he contentedly soaked up the affection. "I love you, Noah."

"Lubbyou Mommy," he cooed back and twirled a strand of her hair.

"When should we give Daddy his presents?"

"Ri'now!"

"We have to go home to get them."

"Kay, wegohome!"

The decision surprised both Olivia and Ed.

"Must be some good presents," Ed remarked.

"We'll see," Olivia replied.

She tried to sound mysterious, but Ed mistook it for gloom. On the way out of the park, he nudged her playfully.

"You okay?" He had the blanket rolled under one arm and Noah in the other and she attempted to take something from him to lighten the load.

"Oh, I'm good," he said, "How many people in this city?"

Olivia furrowed her brow. "Nine million?"

"So roughly four and a half million men."

" _Yeahhh_."

His eyes narrowed as he shot her an extra-flirty smirk. "And I'm the luckiest one."

…

"Daddy, you sit dere." Noah pointed to the oversized easy chair and ran back to his bedroom.

Olivia perched herself on the sofa and handed Ed a card. "From me," she explained, "You should probably open Noah's last."

"Okay." He ran his finger under the fold of the envelope and opened the card. Something resembling a thin receipt book fell out and Ed laughed appreciatively as he read it. "Bourbon of the Month Club, huh? Thank you, baby."

"It sounded interesting."

"I'll share."

Ed began reading the card and blinked back his emotions.

"By myself," Olivia said, adding to her inscribed message, "I could've given Noah everything…except you. His life is…complete. And when I see him with you, I…I can't describe how happy it makes me. So that's why…when…this thing with—"

"Liv, stop," he put a hand on her thigh, "I love you more today than I did yesterday and I trust you more every single day." His eyes drilled into hers, "I. Trust. You. More than anyone."

Olivia didn't have time to start crying. Noah, jubilant and unaware of Sarah's drama, dumped two wrapped packages into Ed's lap and clambered into the chair with him.

"Ok, bud, which one first?"

Noah held up the smaller of the two, "Dis!"

Ed unwrapped the present and held up a black-and-white-striped tie. "I love it, No!"

"I know you have dozens of those," Olivia said, "but he insisted."

"For p'lice!"

"Yes, sweet boy, and what else? What about the colors?"

"Da soccer colors!"

"Sure is! Wow, Noah, you're so thoughtful."

"Yep," Noah replied. He shoved the other box at Ed, "Now dis!"

Inside was a book that, at first, Ed thought was a photo album. On the cover was a Noah-created drawing that Ed had never seen before. It had been transferred to hard plastic. The drawing was of two figures—one tall and one smaller and drawn on top of the other person. Ed asked Noah to tell him about it.

"Dat you," Noah pointed to the tall figure, "And dat me! Dat how you carry me!"

Noah had drawn himself riding on his Daddy's shoulders.

Olivia couldn't take it. She dabbed at her eyes.

Noah flipped the pages. Indeed, it was a photo album, but next to each photo was a button.

"Pess it!"

Ed pressed.

Out came Noah's voice.

 _Dis me an' Daddy at da beach._

 _Dis me an' Daddy at soccer._

 _Dis me an' Daddy at da pub!_

 _Dis Daddy! He push da swing!_

Olivia collected images of Ed and Noah from their earliest days together until a few weeks ago and had Noah narrate the captions. Ed held Noah tighter with each recording and, by the end, Noah was speaking right along with his recorded voice, giggling during each pause. Good thing, because both his parents struggled not to completely break down in a cascade of happy tears.

"I love it, Noah. Thank you, pal. Gimme a hug."

Noah bear-hugged Ed.

"Really good presents," Ed murmured, nearly choking from the little boy's hold on his neck. "Really good."

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	30. Chapter 30

**30.**

The Tuckers spent the rest of Father's Day with games, a nap, and a casual dinner at "da pub." The three of them walked the short distance home slowly, enjoying the cool spring evening, and the simplicity of being with each other. Noah rested his chin on his Daddy's head and pointed out buildings and other sights that interested him.

Ed clutched Noah's ankles but also tried to be in close proximity to his wife. "I think it's great that Noah gets to grow up in New York."

Olivia tilted her head into his shoulder, "Me too."

"So much here."

"It is a unique experience. But I didn't see much of anything else. I want him to see the world, too."

"We'll make that happen."

"We will, won't we?" Olivia nudged at Ed's chin and kissed him.

"For sure."

Nighttime fell and Noah took a bubbly baff with his favorite minty bubbles and got the special treat of reading goodnight stories with Mommy and Daddy on the big chair. Olivia didn't say anything about the third story, but when Noah bargained for a fourth, she put her foot down.

"Bedtime."

Noah frowned. "Daddy read."

"Bedtime, Noah. Let's go." Ed tried to sound stern but failed miserably.

"Daddy read."

Ed stood up, carrying Noah with him, "I'll tell you one last story, bud," he said as he walked slowly towards Noah's room, "It's the story of how much I love being your daddy."

…

Minutes later, Ed appeared and immediately began nipping at his wife's neck. "Such a great day," he whispered. "That album…"

"I got the idea when I was looking at the cards that play the song, and I thought…there must be someone who can do something similar."

Ed cockily raised an eyebrow, "And you found someone to make it happen."

"TARU can do anything."

"It's the best present I've ever received…Except for you marrying me."

"That wasn't a present."

" _No_ ," Ed replied sassily, "That was more a reward. An _earned_ reward."

Olivia's kiss was forceful, insistent and it took Ed by surprise. Ed held her back at arm's length.

"I'm so lucky," she said.

Something clicked with Ed at that instance and his muscles tensed. Olivia immediately felt her husband's reticence and stopped unbuckling his belt. "What's wrong?"

Ed closed his eyes.

" _Liv_."

"Yeah?" She tried to finish what she'd started but he grabbed her wrists.

"Last night?"

"What about it?" She was kissing his neck now, but he resisted.

" _Liv_." He shoved her away but still held her arms. " _Last night_."

Olivia blinked.

"Liv, I'm just…" Ed shook his head, stood up, and walked across the room to the window. "You never _owe_ me anything."

"Last night wasn't a payment."

Ed didn't believe her. "Whadja think, giving me…" Ed paused, not wanting to use a crude colloquialism for oral sex, " _that_ was to make up for not telling me?"

"Ed, no…"

He held his hand up, "I get it."

"Ed, _no_." Olivia reached for him at that moment but he dodged her grasp, readjusted his slacks, grabbed his keys, and stalked down the hall to the door.

"Where are you going?" Olivia asked.

"Don't worry about it."

…

Tucker went into his old aloof IAB mode and gathered himself once he was on the street. He texted Sarah.

 _Let's have a drink._

He walked slowly. Hoping. Praying. Well, he didn't pray. But he wanted his daughter to not be with Bill Dodds. In fact, that was the only thing he wanted at the moment. Except for also wanting his wife to not have ulterior motives when having sex with him.

Sarah immediately texted back with a location. It was nearby and Ed walked the few blocks, striding purposefully, trying to shake off the spat with his wife and force himself to believe what Olivia insisted was the truth. Oddly, thinking about how good it felt to have her mouth on him sent ripples of pleasure up and down his spine and he wondered if he'd ever experience that feeling again. Their sex life was great. No, it was amazing. And last night had been even more than amazing, but he never wanted Olivia to do anything out of guilt.

Sarah was at the bar when Ed entered. She'd already ordered a drink for him and she slid it in his direction as he perched himself on a stool.

"Happy Father's Day," she said flatly.

"Thank you."

"I have a gift for you, but Brooke hasn't signed the card yet, so…"

Ed put up a hand, "Don't worry about it."

"So, what's wrong?" Sarah asked, her voice still devoid of any discernable emotion.

Ed stuck his chin out and scratched his neck, spending a few seconds collecting his thoughts. "Sarah, your personal life is none of my business. But…when you drag my wife into your drama, it becomes my business."

"What are you talking about?"

"Stop it."

Sarah frowned in defeat. "Livvie told you."

"Do not," Ed glared at his daughter and repeated himself for emphasis, " _Do. Not_. _Ever_ put her it a situation like that again."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I needed her advice."

Ed ignored her excuse. "Whaddya sleeping with Chief Dodds now?"

"I thought you said my personal life is none of your business?" Sarah retorted sassily.

"I'm gonna tell you two things. First, Bill Dodds is not someone you can trust. Second, if you think he is someone you can trust, it becomes my business because we are a _family_. You gonna hide him forever?"

"Dad," Sarah sighed, "I'm not getting into a relationship with him. It's…it's not a good idea."

"But you've been seeing him?"

"Three times. The drinks. The drinks the next night. And dinner last night. He's…he seemed so lonely, but…last night we went to this really nice place and I got a bad vibe, like, all of a sudden he was this creepy old guy."

Ed was so relieved he almost instantly forgave Sarah for everything and hugged her. Almost. "I dunno about the creepy part, but he is not a good guy, Sarah. Trust me on that."

"I'm not seeing him again. I don't want to be anyone's trophy. That's what I got last night…like he was out to show me off."

"You deserve better than that," Ed muttered.

"Yes I do," Sarah affirmed. "I'm just now starting to realize that."

Ed checked his phone, expecting a message from Olivia, but he had no notifications. "Listen, uh, I hate to make you come here and just leave, but I haveta get home. Liv and I…we didn't exactly have a happy goodbye."

"I understand."

Ed tossed a few bills on the bar. "See you soon?"

Sarah hugged him tightly, "Yep. Daddy, I really am sorry. I'll get it together. I promise."

… **.**

When Ed arrived back at the apartment, Olivia was still seated on the chair with her legs tucked under her. Instrumental music played softly from the speakers and she held a glass of wine. Ed was not met with a greeting. Whenever he came home, even after a quick trip to the market, she _always_ kissed him hello. Now she just stared at the window into the black Manhattan night.

"Liv?"

After an agonizingly long few seconds, she finally responded. "What?"

"Mind if I sit down?"

"It's your house, too."

"I'm sorry. _Hey_ ," he reached over and tapped her knee, "Lookit me. I'm _sorry_."

Olivia wasn't quite ready to accept the apology. "You know what I've been wondering about ever since you left? Other than where you were going and if you were okay?"

Ed assumed the question was rhetorical, so he sat back in silence.

"I was wondering if we're ever going to be able to have normal sex again. Do you realize how _difficult_ a question that is to ponder?"

Again thinking the question didn't call for him to answer, Ed said nothing.

" _Do you_?"

"I imagine it's…terrible."

"It is. So," she said firmly, "For the record. When we are having sex, we are _having_ _sex_ for no other reason than we love each other. Is that _clear_?"

"Well, sometimes, uh, also, I kinda… _need_ you." Ed saw her iciness begin to melt and he got up slowly, "I kinda… _want you_. And I _love_ loving you. In every way." He hovered over her.

"Whether it's like this," he barely touched her lips as he kissed her.

"Or like this." He pulled her into a standing position and held her cheeks as he kissed her again with more ferocity.

" _Please_ accept my apology," he pleaded, "I don't wanna fight with you. I just wanna love you."

Olivia tried to take a step backwards but the chair prevented her from creating any significant distance between them. It was difficult to resist her husband's remorseful blue eyes and repentant expression. Her lips formed a hint of a smile.

"Apology accepted."

He grinned at her, "Can I love you now?"

"Yes."

… **.**

Olivia tilted her head to put in her earrings and saw her husband attempting to surreptitiously come up behind her.

"Stop," she warned but hardly sounded authoritative.

He grinned naughtily. "Nice dress."

"Thank you."

"I've never seen it before."

"It's new."

Ed frowned and stuck out his lips in the most pathetic pout Olivia had ever seen, Noah included. "You gotta new dress for _Carisi_?"

"No." Olivia cocked an eyebrow and turned around, "I got a new dress for me. And for you to, um, help me out of later," She faced the mirror again and added, "If you so choose."

Ed came up behind her and nuzzled her neck. " _Lieutenant_. Mmmm. God you smell good."

"So do you."

Knowing they were running short on time, Ed backed up and watched while Olivia put the finishing touches on her makeup. He loved the way the zig-zag patterned tunic dress loosely fit her curves; it was a different look for the normally pants-and-blazer clad Lieutenant and he relished the change.

They left Noah with Lucy and promised to be back as quickly as possible. She was working for two other families and had an evening shift later that day. Luckily, the medal ceremony lasted under two hours. Brooke, Olivia, and Ed looked on proudly and snapped pictures as Carisi was honored for Meritorious Police Duty. It was a recognition Olivia had nominated him for after he'd successfully worked undercover multiple times. Afterwards, Carisi suggested they have a drink—a few of his buddies were meeting at a well-known cop bar.

"We really have to get home. Lucy can't stay," Olivia explained, "Sorry, Carisi."

"But, congratulations," Ed said, shaking his hand.

"Thanks Captain," Sonny replied proudly. "Thanks for comin'!"

Olivia and Ed were in the car for a few minutes when a text from Lucy arrived. The family who needed her to work in the evening changed plans and she was free to stay longer with Noah.

"Want to go have a drink?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, sure," Ed readily agreed. He liked hanging out with Sonny and, of course, with Brooke.

Olivia sent Lucy a text saying they'd be another hour or so. They'd have a couple of cocktails and maybe invite Brooke and Carisi over for dinner.

Ed reached over and caressed her leg, just above the knee. "Sounds like a plan."

…..

The cop bar teemed with people. Ed and Olivia weaved their way to the back corner where Carisi and Brooke and a few unfamiliar faces were huddled around a high top table. Already two shots and a half a beer in, Brooke waved at them furiously and then wrapped them in a tight group hug.

" _Hiiiiii_! You're here!"

"Yeah," Olivia said, slightly taken aback by Brooke's cheer, "Lucy's other family cancelled so we're free for a little longer."

"That's great! Have a shot with us!"

Carisi waved the server over and ordered a round of tequila shots, and two bourbons, one with light ice. "That's what ya want, right Captain?"

Ed, amused, nodded and whispered in Olivia's ear, "We're not staying long, right?"

"Right."

"Captain!" Sonny exclaimed, "You make the toast this time!"

"Yeah, Daddy!" Brooke said, "Toast!"

Ed rolled his eyes good-naturedly and held up the shot glass. "A toast! To one of the best detectives in New York, Sonny Carisi!"

"CHEERS!"

They downed the shots and engaged in friendly cop banter. Most of Carisi's friends were young and a bit in awe of Olivia and Ed. They politely answered questions and offered opinions and advice, but the conversation grew a little too silly for Ed and he suggested they leave after finishing their drinks. Olivia agreed.

Then Sarah showed up.

She flounced in, attracting attention in her bright, flowy blouse, skinny jeans, and bowler hat. Heads turned as she passed by. She was definitely not a cop.

"Hey guys," she said brightly, "Thanks for letting me in on your little celebration." She took a sip of Brooke's gin and tonic. "Ugh. Gross. All tonic."

"I'll getcha somethin' else," Carisi said, "Um, whaddya want?"

"If that's how they do a G-n-T, I want a gin, but, on the rocks no tonic. Thanks!" Sarah turned her attention to Ed and Olivia, "I thought you two had babysitting issues?"

"Not anymore," Ed muttered.

Sarah bit her lip, and, for a second looked alarmed but Sonny delivered her drink and she clinked glasses with Brooke. "Cheers, sister."

Brooke convinced Ed and Olivia to stay for one more round. The bar continued to fill with patrons and, before long, everyone at the table was pressed together in an uncomfortable mass.

"Liv, I'm gonna hit the restroom and then we're leaving."

"Okay. I'm going too."

The broke through the pack of people and made a right turn. Olivia ran into Ed after he stopped suddenly. Peering over his shoulder, she immediately knew why he reacted that way.

" _Ed_."

He heard nothing. Ahead of them, Chief Dodds stood inches away from Sarah. He gripped both her forearms and was insistently whispering something to her. Apparently trying to attempt to create distance between them, Sarah pressed herself against the wall, skewing her cap. Ed marched up to them. Olivia trailed him step-for-step.

"What the hell's goin' on?" Ed seethed with anger and grabbed the Chief's shoulder, yanking him away from Sarah.

"Get outta here, Tucker. Mind your business." Dodds tried to shove Ed away, hitching his shoulder and whirling his elbow at his adversary. The maneuver caused Dodds' forearm to make contact with Ed's face, causing him to take a backwards step and crash into his wife.

Olivia shouted "Ed" too late. Her husband's fist landed squarely on the Chief's jaw. Sarah shrieked. Dodds backed up, stunned, and put a hand to his mouth to check for blood. Finding none, he glowered at Ed.

"You just cost yourself your career, Tucker."

"Try me," Ed taunted.

Dodds adjusted his jacket and stood up straight, "Fuck you."

Ed took a step forward and both Olivia and Sarah stopped him.

"Daddy, don't," Sarah whined.

" _Ed_ ," Olivia held his wrists, "Stop. Let's go. C'mon." She nudged him a little and he came out of his rage-induced trance. Olivia felt some tension leave his body. "C'mon," she repeated, more softly this time, "Let's go home."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	31. Chapter 31

**This chapter is much shorter than I usually post, but it's a nice bridge into the ensuing Sarah drama (and then we'll get back to fluff because that's what I really love)**

 **31**.

Olivia managed to push Ed backwards down the corridor and then guide him through the boisterous crowd to the street. The noise level was so loud inside that nobody other than the four of them knew what happened. Needing to find some space in order to calm her husband, Olivia kept one hand on Ed's wrist and with the other dug into her wallet and, fortunately, found a few bills and shoved them at Sarah.

"Go in and settle up with the server for us, okay?"

Sarah started to object, but she caught Olivia's stern eyes and obediently went back inside.

Olivia put her hands on Ed's shoulders. "Hey, look at me. Ed?"

His breath came out in huffs and Olivia couldn't remember a recent time when his face had been that red or his jaw and cheekbones so hardened with anger.

"C'mon," she urged, "Walk with me. Let's go." On one hand she hoped a walk would ease some of the tension, on the other hand, she didn't want to have a second altercation with Dodds.

Wordlessly, he allowed Olivia to lead him down the street. She held his hand now, and he intertwined his fingers with her tightly, signaling that he was, at least, level-headed enough to respond to her touch. Thoughts swirled. What was Dodds saying to Sarah? Was it as bad is it looked? Where in the hell was Sarah? Olivia sent her back in there. Was she back with Dodds?

"Liv, I'm sorry," he finally mumbled.

Their path was aimless and Olivia realized they were getting close to Columbus Circle where they'd be able to sit and blend in with the tourists and early-evening commuters. She merely rubbed his back and held him close as they made their way north a few more blocks. When they were at the edge of the park, she spotted a bench and they sat down. Olivia inspected his right hand.

"Doesn't look like it's swelling much."

Lingering rage was the only thing keeping Ed from erupting into laughter. Back at the bar, he was so consumed with hostility, he hadn't thought of anything but getting Dodds away from his daughter, but now that he was with Olivia, he worried she would lecture him and demand remorse. But, no. She worked over his hand while concentrating on his face, waiting for him to wince.

"We'll put some ice on it at home," she said.

Adrenaline still pumping, Ed suddenly felt the urge to get her home immediately. But they were on a bench at the southern edge of Central Park and several blocks from their apartment. He shot up, yanking her with him.

"C'mon."

"Ed? What are—"

"Just, _come on_."

He practically dragged her across Fifty-Ninth Street and into the Essex House Hotel entrance.

" _Ed_." Olivia tried to dig in her heels. She attempted to squeeze the swollen hand. She shot a wide-eyed incredulous glance at him.

Nothing worked.

"My wife and I need a room for tonight," he told the desk clerk in an amazingly even-toned voice.

The clerk punched a few buttons on the computer. "We have—"

"High floor, view of the park," Ed instructed, more urgently now. Olivia was still holding his hand tightly, and he squeezed back but also brushed his thumb back and forth across hers. He whipped his wallet out of his pocket and slapped a credit card on the counter. Minutes later, they were on their way through the tiled lobby to the elevators. Once the doors closed, Ed immediately wrapped Olivia in a tight embrace and kissed her ferociously. Stunned, Olivia could do nothing but attempt to match his aggressive liplock. The elevator dinged just as Ed was reaching under the hemline of her dress.

Knowing any attempt at reasonable conversation was futile, Olivia, nevertheless, tried, "Ed, I—"

"Stop talking, Liv," He commanded, following the signs to their room. Locating it, he opened the door with a flourish. Once inside, he threw off his blazer, kicked off his shoes, and wrapped his arms around Olivia's waist, simultaneously kissing her and carrying her to the bed.

They fell onto the plush mattress. Rather than attempt more questions, Olivia embraced the spontaneity and frantically unbuckled, unbuttoned, and unzipped his pants. She only got a few shirt buttons undone before Ed momentarily pulled away from her and yanked both the oxford and the undershirt off over his head, tossing them aside. Her dress was next, then her bra and panties, and, finally, his boxer briefs.

Ed remained silent. His eyes met hers and Olivia wasn't sure how to respond to the emotion she saw…they were lustful, hurt, passionate, irate, hungry, and full of yearning. Sure enough, after a few more deep, almost-angry kisses, he squeezed her breasts, brushed his fingers along her thighs and then up the center of her body, and whispered, almost apologetically, "I need you."

"I'm all yours, Ed," she replied in a husky voice, suddenly needing him just as much as he needed her. She massaged his back and slid her hands to his ass and then his hips, bucking her pelvis into his. "I need you, too."

Ed never once broke his gaze into her eyes as he thrust in and out of her. Taking advantage of being out of Noah's earshot, Olivia didn't bother muffling her moans and shrieks with a pillow or with Ed's shoulder. She threw her head back and writhed beneath him, trying to comply with his demands for her to keep her eyes open.

"I wanna see you, Liv, I wanna see you come for me baby, Look. At. Me."

" _Ed_!"

"Like that?"

He was moving even faster now, creating a sensation Olivia wasn't sure she'd ever felt before. The final scream as she thrashed about in the throes of her orgasm triggered Ed's release and he jerked violently, never concentrating on anything else but her eyes, and he collapsed on top of her, meeting her lips with a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss that was more an attempt to consume her chin than anything else.

"Oh my God," Olivia huffed with Ed's lips still on hers.

He swiped his tongue a few more times against hers and then rolled to the side, still keeping her close. "I love you, Liv. I love you so, so, much. So. So. So. Much." He peppered her face and neck with kisses and repeated _so, so much_ multiple times.

Still overwhelmed and a bit disoriented, Olivia simply held him close and breathed in his scent, trying to figure out what to say. Not more than two hours ago they were drinking shots with Carisi and now they were in a hotel room less than a mile from their home, naked and slick with sex, with absolutely no part of the earlier confrontation resolved.

"I love you too," she managed to croak.

"Mad at me?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "Of course not. Especially not," she cocked one of the brows, "After _this_. But I wasn't before."

"That motherfucker."

"He hit you first."

"And, Sarah, what the _fuck_ , Liv?"

"I don't know, Ed. I really don't know. But it looked bad. You had every right to intervene."

Ed craned his neck and looked at the clock. "We can't stay here all night, can we?"

"No, we cannot."

"Damn."

"We have a little more time," Olivia said softly, "C'mere, let me hold you." Olivia slid one arm underneath him and draped the other over his chest. He covered her hands with his and leaned back, surrendering to her embrace.

"You're a good man, Ed Tucker," she assured, "A good father, husband, _lover_ …"

He shook with amusement.

"Well, _more_ than a good lover."

He played with her fingers appreciatively and rasped, "It's easy to love you, Liv."

…

Ed and Olivia expected to find Lucy at home with Noah but Carisi and Brooke were there instead. After hearing about the altercation, they left the bar, went to the apartment, told Lucy they would see about Noah, and had been worried and wondering about the two of them ever since.

"We texted and called," Brooke said, obviously frustrated, "Where _were_ you?"

"Walking," Ed muttered, still a little flushed.

"Well, what the fuck happened?" Brooke, cognizant of Noah, muttered under her breath.

Sonny, taken aback by Brooke's language, blinked and added, "Yeah, uh, Sarah told us you punched Chief Dodds?"

Ed and Olivia both nodded.

Brooke and Sonny looked back at them expectantly, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Ed, why don't you take Noah and get his bath started?"

"Alright." Ed plucked Noah from the beanbag, "C'mon, bud. Bathtime."

"Big bafftub?"

"Sure."

Olivia gestured to the sofa and began filling in the blanks. She told them about seeing Chief Dodds trapping Sarah against the wall. It looked bad, and Ed reacted the way any father would…the way any decent human being would, at seeing that scenario.

Brooke shook her head and muttered, " _Sarah_."

Sonny reverted to detective mode, "Whaddya mean, _Sarah_?"

Brooke looked back and forth between Sonny and Olivia. "I _knew_ that guy was bad news."

"What?" Sonny and Olivia said at the same time.

"It was the dinner last Saturday," Brooke explained, "She, uh, she had to buy a new dress because he, uh, requested, she wear this particular color and style. _And she did it_. I was pissed."

Olivia rubbed her temples.

Carisi screwed up his face. "You meanta tell me _Chief Dodds_ was tryin' ta make a trophy outta _Captain Tucker's_ daughter? What an idiot."

"Sarah went along with it for a few nights," Brooke pointed out dryly. "She liked the idea of someone older. Until, of course, the last time."

"Did she say anything to you?" Olivia asked, "After we left?"

"She just paid your tab, said the Captain hit Dodds, and she left, said she wanted to be alone."

Frustrated, Olivia rolled her eyes. Sarah, who was once the adorable yet whimsical and free-spirited daughter now was becoming a major pain in the ass and, worse, someone who Olivia couldn't trust.

"Thank you, Brooke, Carisi, for coming here, but, really, we're okay. It's probably best if we put Noah to bed and just call it a night. We can…we'll hash this out later."

"I SHOW SONNY!" Noah came rumbling out in his pajamas and went directly to Carisi. "You see da spikes?"

Ed had spiked Noah's wet hair. It was already wilting under the pressure of the water weight, but Sonny played along. "I love it, No!"

"It like the Stegassrus!"

"Yep, that's my favorite dinosaur!"

Noah squinted, "You know da stegassrus?"

"Yup! The one with the spikes on its back! Hey, Lieu, if ya want, me and Brooke'll go to the Natural History Mus—"

Brooke interrupted, "We've been. And, if you want to go, take Noah…it's not my thing." She, Ed, and Olivia exchanged knowing glances. It wasn't their thing, either.

"So," Olivia hoisted Noah into her arms and kissed his cheek, "Maybe Sonny will take you to the museum…you can have a boys day out."

Noah nodded eagerly and Carisi shrugged. "Suit yourselves…we'll have fun either way, right, No?"

"Right!"

"Well, we better go," Brooke said, "I'm sorry tonight ended like it did…guess we'll go home and deal with… _her_."

"You know what?" Ed dug into his pocket, "Don't deal with her. Here," he gave the hotel room key cards to Brooke, "On us."

Brooke screwed up her face. "What the—"

"Just take it," Ed said, his face insisting that she not ask questions. "Get away for the night."

Brooke and Carisi gushed their thanks and left. As soon as they closed the door, Olivia's eyes widened.

"Ed, the _bed_!"

He brushed off her concern, "I called while Noah was in the tub, had them do a linen change."

Olivia slid her arms around his waist. "You're amazing."

"Still gonna say that when I lose my job and my pension?"

"You're not going to lose your job and your pension."

"You're right, but it's gonna have to be addressed."

"And I'll be with you every step of the way."

Ed ran his fingers through her hair and, just before he kissed her, whispered, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Me too," she murmured. "Me too."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	32. Chapter 32

**32**.

Noah sat at the dining table in his booster seat, shirtless, and picked at his breakfast. Very slowly he took a spoonful of the oatmeal, lifted it, and let it drop back into the bowl.

"Glop, glop, glop," he murmured and then repeated the action.

For the moment, his parents were distracted. Ed was on his way out, earlier than usual, and he planned to catch Chief Dodds before police business made him unavailable for the rest of the day. Olivia moaned a little at his tender goodbye kiss. When he broke away he stayed close, played with her hair, smirked, and whispered, "See ya in a couple hours."

"Okay." Olivia smiled back at him lovingly, "You know, you don't have to do this."

"I wanna get it outta the way, Liv." Last night as they lay in bed, Ed announced his plans. He would see the Chief, explain everything—how he saw the encounter, how he was a protective dad, a cop…anything to smooth things over so Olivia didn't have to pay the price at work for her husband's reaction.

Olivia straightened his tie. "I know. I appreciate what you're doing, I wish—"

"I woulda told you Sarah was crazy from the beginning?"

They shared a laugh and Ed remarked, "I think I would almost rather talk to Dodds than her right now."

"Well, lemme know how it goes."

"I will." He gave her one last peck and went over to Noah. From the other side of the island, Olivia watched as Ed questioned Noah about not eating and then gave him a kiss and a hug.

"Love you, bud."

"Lubbyou Daddy!"

"See ya later, alright? At the concert?"

"I da LION ROAR!"

Ed chuckled, "I know, pal. I'll listen for it." He shot one last smirk at his wife and child, and added "Love you two" before he left. Olivia swore she saw a hint of trepidation in his features before he disappeared down the hall. The door clicked shut and Olivia sat next to Noah.

"Why aren't you eating breakfast, sweet boy?"

"Want bagel wiff creecheese," Noah replied matter-of-factly.

"We don't have bagels here right now. So, eat your oatmeal. And, this weekend, we can go shopping and you can pick out what you want."

Noah regarded his mother skeptically, "T'morrow Sunday?"

"Saturday."

"Get stawberry bagel?"

"Sure."

"I play soccer?"

"You have one last game tomorrow and then your team party is the next Saturday. And you have swimming tonight. We have a busy day, sweet boy! So, eat your breakfast."

Olivia swore Noah rolled his eyes. However, he picked up his spoon and began gingerly scooping oatmeal into his mouth.

"Good boy," Olivia mussed his hair, "Finish eating and then we'll get your lion shirt on for the concert."

"I gonna ROAR, mommy!" He announced through a garbled, oatmeal-filled voice.

Olivia smiled, "I can't wait to see it, Noah."

….

A contrite Ed Tucker was led to the Chief's office by a young assistant. Dodds sat behind his desk with the phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder. It was so early, Ed assumed the phone call was all for show, but, nevertheless, the Chief muttered something, said good bye, and peered curiously at his guests.

"Have a seat, Tucker," he instructed and waved off the assistant. "What brings you in?"

Ed inspected his face for marks of yesterday's altercation. Dodds' lower left jaw may have been a tad swollen, but one had to look closely to see anything out of the ordinary.

"I think you know what brings me in," Tucker replied sardonically.

The two men glared at one another for a few moment until, finally, Dodds pressed his lips together and sat back casually in his chair. "Ya got a nice shot on me, Tucker, I'll grant ya that," the Chief said wickedly.

Tucker waited.

"I'm not goin' to IAB," Dodds said, expecting Tucker to appear relieved, but he only more tightly clenched his jaw. " _You're welcome_." He added pointedly.

Ed was not about to thank him. "Whatever was goin' on…is goin' on," Tucker muttered through clenched teeth, "Is not my business…until I think my daughter is getting hurt."

"She wasn't getting hurt," Dodds protested, "We're both intense people. That's what you saw."

Having no desire to discuss whatever was happening between the Chief and Sarah and also acknowledging that Sarah was an adult and had to handle these things herself, Tucker got up and moved to leave. One thing lingered in his mind, thought, and he spun around just before he stepped out of the office. He had to make sure there was no mess for Olivia to clean up, but he had to make sure without actually being direct.

"Preciate you not makin' a big deal about this," Ed mumbled.

Dodds smirked as if he read between the lines. He'd take the sliver of gratitude. "See ya around, Tucker."

Ed cringed inside as he strode down the hall, thinking, _I'll be damned if he sees me around._

…..

The preschool spring concert was held in the chapel of an adjacent church and, at first, Ed felt weird walking into the place. He hadn't set foot in a church since he confronted Eugene last March. The uneasiness didn't last long. He located Olivia and Brooke among the two dozen or so other families and as he shuffled to take his place next to his wife, Noah's voice rang out.

"It my Daddy!"

All heads snapped around. Noah was already on the risers and his teachers were organizing the kids and giving last minute instructions. Every audience member but Ed was seated. Little Noah jabbed the air with his index finger but was careful not to jump on the narrow standing area. Ed waved at him and mouthed, "Hey, bud!"

"We didn't get a greeting like that," Brooke teased.

"Well, I did _bring_ him here," Olivia said.

"I didn't. I came in just like _he_ did," Brooke shot back with mock jealousy.

Ed slung his arm along the back of the pew, and Olivia instinctively inched closer to him. "Everything go okay?" She inquired softly.

"Yep. It's not goin' any further."

She patted his knee. "Good."

The concert lasted less than an hour. The children ended the program with a Jungle Book related song and Noah, with five other boys, rocked the house with their collective roar. When they were dismissed, Noah came bounding over to his spectator triad, "You hear da ROAR?"

"Sure did!"

"It was great!"

"You were loud, No! Great job!"

"We pactis!"

"I can tell!"

"Have my LION shirt!" Noah slapped the screen-printed image on his t-shirt.

"Yep—it's perfect, No!"

The three adults looked over the heads of the other parents and adult guests and collectively wondered how long they had to stick around. As she scanned the crowd, Olivia caught the eye of Amelia and waved her over.

"Hi Olivia!" She said and leaned down to give Noah a squeeze, "Hola, Noah!"

Noah clung to Ed's leg shyly and whispered, "Dis Daddy."

Amelia smiled at Ed and shook his hand before returning her attention to Noah, "And how do we say _Daddy_ en espanol?"

"Papi!"

"That's right!"

"He really loves speaking Spanish," Olivia said, "Thank you so much for all the work you do."

"Oh, it's my pleasure. I can't wait to be a teacher one day. Hopefully, I'll be able to get a job at one of the dual language schools."

"Yeah thanks," Ed added. He introduced Brooke and mentioned she was a teacher, but neither Brooke nor Amelia appeared eager to talk further about the profession. Amelia excused herself when another parent called her over and the Tuckers were once again alone together in their little huddle.

"Liv, you goin' back to work?"

She scanned her phone, "Yeah, I have to, busy day. Lucy's meeting us at home."

"Well, people," Brooke said, "I'm off to shop. I'm on dinner duty tonight, so I figure I'll practice the dish first just in case."

"Good luck," Ed said, clearly not confident in his daughter's culinary skills.

"Thanks Dad," Brooke replied sarcastically.

Olivia put a reassuring hand on Brooke's shoulder, "I'm sure it'll be great."

"I'll keep ya posted." Brooke hugged and kissed Noah and went on her way.

Ed and Olivia each took one of Noah's hands and they meandered down the street. Noah skipped a little and practiced his kicks as they walked. Ed kept sneaking glances at his wife. Soon, Olivia noticed and smiled a little wider each time.

"Busted?" Ed asked shyly.

"Busted." Olivia confirmed.

"Friday," Ed pointed out, "Dinner and a movie?"

This was not a common suggested and Olivia couldn't hide her surprise. "I'd love to…but I'm on duty tonight and tomorrow. Want me to risk it?"

"In your professional opinion, what are the chances of you getting called away?"

Olivia twisted her lip as she did mental calculations, "Let's see…warm spring night. School's out. No holiday. I'd say…high."

"Gimme a number."

"Sixty percent?"

"I'm gonna gamble," Ed proclaimed, "Think Lucy can stay? I'll pay her whatever it costs."

"I'll check."

Ed shot her a satisfied smirk and then nudged Noah, "Hey, bud, you mind if I take Mommy out on a date tonight?"

"Nope!"

"We'll see if Lucy can take you to swimming and you and Lucy can have your own little date," Olivia suggested.

"Date, date, date," Noah chanted as he hopped from foot to foot, "Date, date, date."

Ed took a look around, sizing up the street scene and the pedestrians, "Yep, mommy and I are going on a date…and I'm…I'm pretty sure…city seems safe tonight. No interruptions."

…

The date had to be shelved. As soon as Olivia returned to the precinct, she and the squad were flooded with calls and spend the majority of the evening on three separate investigations. When the Lieutenant determined there was nothing more SVU could do for the night, she sent everyone home and worked a little longer at her desk. It was just after eleven when she arrived home. At first she tiptoed in, thinking Ed was probably dozing on the couch, but when she emerged from the foyer she noticed the shadow of flickering candlelight on the wall. The dining table was set for two. Two glasses of red wine had been poured and soft jazz played in the background. On cue, Ed appeared from the back hallway with a cocky expression on his face. He was deliciously casual in a navy t-shirt and khaki shorts and he stood, arms akimbo, admiring his war-weary wife who still had her purse slung over one shoulder and her cell phone in the other hand.

"What's all this?"

"Our dinner and a movie."

"Oh?"

He stepped forward and looped a finger between the leather purse strap and her arm, "Lemme take this." He grabbed the phone next, "And this. And you can go get changed."

"Thank you."

He kissed her cheek softly. So softly that it was almost more erotic than one of their deep, open-mouthed, aggressive liplocks.

She changed quickly into an outfit similar to Ed's—shorts and a t-shirt—and took her place at the table. He served them—chicken over rice with assorted vegetables—put the serving bowls back in the kitchen, and joined her before immediately popping back up.

"Forgot the extra sauce…for the chicken," he explained. "Want a little more?"

Olivia didn't, but she took some anyway.

Ed raised his wine glass, "To dinner and a movie."

"To dinner and a movie," Olivia repeated, cocking her eyebrow and keeping her eyes locked on him as she sipped. She had no idea where he'd procured the food, but she didn't ask.

"Long day, huh?"

"It was one of those where you keep thinking it's gonna end and then it…never ends."

"Squad still there?"

"No…nothing more we could do tonight."

"Wonder how Brooke's dinner turned out."

Olivia laughed, "She ended up copying our shrimp."

Ed chuckled along with his wife, "You suggest that?"

"I did," Olivia replied, her eyes sparkling. The Tuckers were proud of their lemon-garlic-salt-and-pepper shrimp with olive oil over angel hair pasta.

"Dangerous, though, with the pasta. Ya know, with Carisi."

" _Right_? Well, I don't know. He'd fake it."

"Yeah…he would." Ed chewed a bite and swallowed, "I like that guy." Olivia simpered back at him but said nothing. " _What_?"

"Nothing," Olivia said sweetly, "I just never heard you say that about Jeff. Or… _anyone_ for that matter."

"Now that is not true," Ed shot back good-naturedly, "I like a lot of people."

"But you never _say_ it."

"I say I like _you_." He leaned forward, over their plates for a kiss. "C'mere."

"I like you, too, Captain."

He smirked proudly. "Speaking of liking people, or not, that terrible woman who said that crap about Amelia? She invited Noah over sometime to play. I said you kept our calendar."

"Do we have a calendar?"

"No, I don't _like_ her so I blew her off."

Olivia winked at him, "Good job, now I'll avoid her at all costs and we'll be all set."

"We make a good team, Liv."

"We do."

They continued the small talk for the rest of the meal. Ed filled her in on his evening with Noah and reported he was sniffling a little when they left the park after throwing the football around. Noah had been rolling all around in the grass chasing after the ball, so Ed figured it could possibly be an allergy. He bought Children's Benadryl on the way, but after a bath Noah was fine. Olivia listened to all of this with a silly smile on her face. In fact, she missed several details. Having Ed tell her about these mundane details sent her into a dreamy, pleasant trance.

The next topic was a possible vacation.

"I was thinkin," Ed spoke cautiously as if he were certain his idea would be received with derision, "How 'bout out west? Yellowstone? Tetons? The mountains? I've only been there once and I was just a kid then. Unless…you'd rather do the beach."

Olivia took a few seconds to consider the idea and also to soak up the excitement radiating from Ed's face. "I'd love to go to the mountains with you."

A relieved smile crossed his face, "I'll start lookin' tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Wanna start the movie?"

Olivia hadn't really believed there was a movie in the works. "Um, sure. What are we watching?"

"How 'bout _The American President_? Oldie but a goodie?"

"I love that movie. Out here or," she jerked her head towards the hallway, "Back there?"

"Out here," Ed suggested, "Got strawberry shortcake for dessert. Want some?"

The hopefulness in Ed's eyes ruled out a "no" and the curiosity in Olivia's expression probably warranted an explanation, but Ed held off. Strawberries? Whipped cream? It sounded like a recipe for messy lovemaking. However, tonight Ed wanted to cuddle on the couch with his wife and watch a move they'd both seen dozens of times. It was something special between them—when they'd first started seeing each other, _The American President_ somehow became a topic of conversation and it was one of the first non-cop things they realized they had in common.

Olivia went along with his plan, and, as she nestled into him and fit her head into the spot on his shoulder that seemed made just for her, Ed knew she understood.

….

 **#Tuckson**


	33. Chapter 33

**33**.

"Hey, Livvie." Shrouded in dejection, Sarah stepped gingerly into the foyer as if she expected the floor to cave in at any second. She'd swept her hair into a messy bun and wore an oversized sweatshirt with leggings. "Sorry I missed Noey's game. I…I didn't feel like going out and, as you can probably tell, I still don't feel like going out."

Olivia opened the door wider. "Come in."

Sarah made her way to the kitchen island and pulled up a barstool. It was not yet eleven a.m., so Olivia only offered coffee. Sarah declined but quickly changed her mind. "I don't want to bother you on your day off," she mumbled.

Olivia held up the basket of K-cups, "What flavor do you want?"

"Just the regular. Not the dark stuff that Daddy likes."

Sarah let out a few exasperated breaths, buying time and hoping Olivia would take the reins of the conversation; however, she kept silent. Finally, Sarah mustered an apology. "Livvie, I'm so sorry. For everything. For making you keep that secret and then not being honest and showing up at the bar…and…just…everything. I'm so screwed up and I don't know how to fix it."

Olivia gave Sarah the mug. "Have you seen the therapist?"

"A couple times."

"You should go once a week."

Sarah quickly picked up Olivia's hardened demeanor and edgy tone, so she apologized again. "I really am sorry."

"Sarah, just don't ask me to keep anything from your father again," Olivia demanded, "It's…I'm not going to do that. My family is my priority, you included, but your Dad is my _partner_. Please don't ask me to do that again, because the answer will be no."

"I won't." Sarah looked around. "Where _is_ Daddy?"

"He and Noah went to the supermarket and who knows where else."

"Did he get in trouble for hitting Bill?"

" _Bill_?"

Sarah's cheeks reddened, "Well, that's what I call, uh, called him. I'm not seeing him again, Olivia, I promise."

"You can see whoever you want."

Sarah scrunched up her face, "Yeah right," she said sarcastically. She then proceeded to tell Olivia everything she told her Dad at the bar. Dodds started out innocently nice and then switched gears to a domineering, smarmy old man who was looking for a pretty young thing to parade around at night. "I hope I didn't cause huge problems for you," Sarah said weakly.

"Everything's okay."

"Livvie, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I wish I was you."

Olivia regarded her seriously, " _Sarah_."

"I _do_ ," she insisted, "You're…you're perfect."

"No…I am certainly not."

"Yes you are. You're a perfect wife and mother. You command SVU. You've…you've been through so much and here you are, loving everybody and being kind and good and…nothing has happened to me in my life. Nothing bad. And…look at me! I have everything, but I just can't, can't…I don't know what I want...in life."

"Sarah, I can help you, give you advice, with a lot of things, but…as far as knowing what you want? You have to figure that out on your own."

Sarah groaned, "I don't get it. Some of my friends, they're…married having their first kids, and I'm thinking…thank _gawwwd_ that's not me. But that's so _wrong_."

"Why is it wrong? What's good and right and makes other people happy isn't what makes you happy." Olivia brushed a few loose strands of hair from her face and leaned across the counter, "I'm case in point. I became a cop. Not many women go into the field to begin with and even fewer make detective and move up the ranks. I spent the first half of my adult life doing that, Sarah, moving up the ranks, doing my job, believing in it…so much…that it became my life. And I was happy, or, more, I was content, I had purpose…and then…my boyfriend and I went our separate ways…but I still had the job, that's the thing, the difference between you and me, my career is part of me Sarah, and I don't think, because of the nature of what you do, it'll ever be part of you."

"What happened after you and your boyfriend broke up?"

"Not long after that, I got Noah. And my…center of gravity shifted….and it shifted again with your Dad. But, again, and we've talked about this a lot, right? What happened with me and your Dad is a one-in-a-million shot. If someone, fifteen years ago, would have told me this," Olivia waved her arms around, gesturing at their sprawling living area, "was going to happen, I wouldn't laughed in their face. But it just _happened_. And I think…I think maybe, when Dodds asked you out, you were forcing it, thinking, maybe this is so out of the box that it could be interesting and _work_. And I'm glad you found out sooner rather than later what his intentions are."

"After you got Noah, did you think…think you wanted to be married?"

Olivia smiled, "I've always wanted this, Sarah. But I knew, the older I got and, then, adopting Noah, that the chances of finding someone who wanted _us_ were extremely low, so I didn't think about it much. I concentrated on being a good mother and being a good leader at work. Until your Dad and I started seeing each other. Even then, I didn't think it would be anything more than a casual thing." Sarah was going into swoon mode now and Olivia dialed back the drama. "But he surprised me. And here we are. But my point is…as long as it's taken me to get here, is that…you can't wait impatiently and not pay attention to anything else while you're trying to figure out your life. _What you want_ isn't some object hidden in the distance, it…changes as you change. If you don't embrace what you have now, and _live your life_ , you're never going to get a clear picture of who you are and what you want."

With tears rolling down her cheeks, Sarah rounded the island and hugged Olivia. "I love you, Livvie," she whimpered, sniffling.

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

….

Olivia plopped Noah in the tub and proceeded with an expedited bath routine. Noah and his Daddy did, indeed, hit the supermarket, but they also bought a Frisbee, practiced throwing it at the park, got ice cream, stopped to pet a neighbor's dog, and, finally, got back home. Sarah was gone by then, and Olivia inspected her boys with a critical eye.

"Bathtime," She said firmly.

Ed and Noah stood in front of her bearing identical innocent expressions.

 _Who? Us?_

Olivia ran Noah's bathwater and started stripping him down. Ed came in and delivered a small glass of bourbon and whispered in her ear, "Naptime next, right?"

"Right," Olivia murmured, making sure her tone made Ed realize she understood his point.

She wrapped Noah in a towel and blew his hair dry, playfully shooting the air at his face every now and then and he giggled and squirmed, but, finally, he was dressed in cotton shorts and a t-shirt and ready for a nap.

"Okay, sweet boy, let's take a little rest," Olivia cooed, handing him the iPad, "You want a story?"

"No, Mommy, I see pic-tures."

"Which ones?"

"Da Ma'hattan ones. I drawed." Noah tapped the screen a few times and showed his mother his drawings, "See?"

"You want to look at them while you fall asleep?"

"Uh-huh. It Ma'hattan wiff black sky. See? Dis one!" Noah scrolled through the drawings and found one that was mostly black with white dots and lines streaking through.

"That's a good one, sweet boy!"

"It night."

"It is." Olivia kissed his forehead, "Okay, sweetie, take a little nap and we'll play more when you get up okay?"

"Kay, mommy. I tired."

"I'll bet. You played soccer and Frisbee and—"

"Daddy getted me da fr'bee."

"I know. Will you teach me how to throw it later?"

"Uh-huh." Noah wrapped his arms around his mother's head and giggled, "Mommy you silly."

"I'm silly?"

"Yep!"

"Okay, sweet boy. Night night. Here's Bernie. I love you."

"Lubbyou Mommy." Noah tucked Bernie partially under his head, turned so he was facing his iPad, and Olivia noticed his eyes already fluttering closed before she even left the room.

…..

Olivia stepped into the bedroom and Ed immediately captured her in a tight embrace.

"My turn," he rasped suggestively, kissing her neck.

She pretended to recoil a bit as they sauntered to their room, "I can tell you've…been outside."

"Well, let's clean me up, then, Lieutenant."

Ed walked them into the bathroom and started taking off his clothes. He was down to his underwear and frowned when he saw his wife wasn't reciprocating. " _Shower, Liv_ ," he insisted and wiggled his fingers, motioning for her to catch up to him.

"Sorry," she jerked her head, pretending to come out of a daydream, "I was…distracted," she put her hands on his bare chest and massaged his pecs, "You're so sexy, Captain."

"But I'm _dirty,_ so, come _on_."

Olivia grinned and flung her t-shirt over her head.

"That's better."

Off came the bra.

"Even better."

Then her shorts and panties.

" _Yessss_." Ed backed up, still keeping his eyes on his naked wife, and started the shower. He tested the water and reached for her hand, "C'mere."

They fell into a deep kiss as the water pulsated over their bodies.

"I don't think it's normal," Ed rasped, talking and kissing her at the same time, "It's not normal to want someone as much as I want you, Liv." He grazed her neck and collarbone and then opened his mouth wide and suckled each breast. "I'm _addicted_ to you baby," he continued, hearing her start to deepen her moans and wanting them to be louder and more intense. "Like, I'm out today, buying fucking bread. _Bread_ , Liv. _Bread_!"

Olivia shook with laughter.

"And all I can think about is you and this, right now."

Olivia yelped as Ed moved his lips lower. "Did you get sweaty and gross on purpose?" She gasped, knowing, in a few minutes, forming words would probably be impossible.

"Maybe."

He planted careful kisses across her lower abdomen and buried his fingertips into her hips as he deliberately dragged his tongue between her legs.

"Oh, _Goddddd_."

Ed let out a smug chuckle. "Yeah, there you go, that's my girl."

Olivia threw her head back, crying out with pleasure. Ed had slung one of her legs over his shoulder and she kept herself from completely collapsing all of her weight on him by planting her hands on each side of the shower. She began thrashing as her orgasm loomed closer, and, for a second, Ed almost stopped, worried she would hit her head against the stone shower walls or the fixtures. Olivia felt his hesitation.

"Don't stop," she implored.

He didn't.

Shortly after, she was limp in his arms as she came down from her erotic orbit. Ed kissed her neck and shoulders gently, sweetly while she rested her head against his chest. They didn't stay that way long. Olivia felt his arousal against her, dropped her hands to his ass, and summoned the last of her energy.

"We're not done," she said in a husky voice and took a few steps backward to the shower bench where she propped herself up a bit to give Ed leverage. He dragged his fingers between her legs to make sure she really was ready for him and, reassured, slowly glided inside of her, suckling at her breasts as he moved in and out.

When they finished, they swayed together, sated, and let the water rain over them. Ed splayed his hands across her back protectively, massaging her, keeping her close. Several times, Olivia mentioned they should get out, dry off, the water was getting cold, Noah wouldn't sleep that long, but Ed only tightened his embrace.

"Just a few more minutes, Liv," he requested softly, "I love us like this."

…..

To Olivia and Ed's relief, the end-of-season team soccer party was a casual affair held at a casual burger joint and the team moms arranged for a few carnival games, face painters, and a guy who made animals out of balloons. Their private room was large enough for a makeshift stage, several round tables, and the children's area. Ed and Olivia sat side-by-side at their table watching Noah run around with his teammates. They hadn't spoken much to other parents all season other than obligatory hellos and goodbyes, and they followed suit today. They nodded, smiled, but made little effort to engage in further conversation.

When it came time to distribute certificates, Noah's young coach stood in front of the fifteen or so families and gave a little speech about how much he enjoyed coaching their kids and how he looked forward to seeing the kids grow and come back next season. He also plugged his own private coaching and personal training company which made Ed snort derisively and Olivia elbow him in response.

"Be nice," she mouthed.

Ed blinked at her innocently and she had to turn away. Otherwise, she would've burst into laughter at how a man in his mid-fifties could appear so childlike when reprimanded.

The coach called the kids up one by one in alphabetical order, and they each accepted their certificate and medal. When Noah's turn neared, Olivia took the camera and moved to where she would have a better angle to shoot a few photos. Noah patiently waited in line. He occasionally looked at Ed and then noticed his mother off to the side with the camera. She smiled and waved and he returned the gestures before he heard his name called.

"And now we have, Noah! Noah Tucker! Come up here, pal! Noah, buddy, you're a super hard worker and you scored, how many? Five goals this year! Wow! Congratulations!" The coach shook Noah's little hand, gave him the certificate, and looped the medal around his neck. Olivia snapped away as Noah followed the rest of his teammates to where another parent was lining them up for a group photo. Olivia wiped tears from her eyes as Noah followed directions and stood shoulder-to-shoulder with another boy. He'd just had a haircut and he looked older, wise, assured, and right when Olivia felt her first pang of longing for his quickly passing childhood, he looked over, saw her blow him a kiss, and he immediately returned it, much to her delight.

The coach said a few more parting words, and concluded the ceremony.

Noah bounded over to his parents, "Lookit!" He held out the medal and the certificate.

Ed grinned, "That's great, bud! We'll put this in a frame, okay? And we'll hang it on your bedroom wall!"

"Great idea," Olivia cooed. "Hey, let's get a few more pictures before we go." Olivia posed Noah with Ed then traded spots with her husband. The coach came over for one last handshake and offered to take one of the three of them. Ed gladly handed over the camera. Noah stood between his crouched parents, proudly holding his certificate in one hand and the medal in another while his parents beamed at his sides.

….

"Tucker, you okay?"

Cole was in the middle of an IAB story. Initially, Ed followed along and his facial expressions and snickers matched the details, but, suddenly, his former partner's eyes drifted around aimlessly.

"Yeah, yeah," Ed snapped back to attention, "I'm fine. Sorry. Just thought about something."

Cole wrapped up the story and changed the subject to summer plans, "Using any vacation time?"

Ed signaled for another drink. "I think so, Liv, uh, we talked about maybe goin' out west, Yellowstone?"

Cole raised his eyebrows, "That sounds different."

"Whole thing's different, Cole." Ed took a contemplative sip, "Whole damn life, man."

"I know. How ya likin' it over there at CIU?"

Ed shrugged, "Some of it's interesting."

"Think ya made the right move?"

"I think so," Tucker replied, "It's just…I kinda miss goin' for the kill ya know? This job, it's, I'm not sure it's me. It's more Liv."

"You can always come back."

Ed let out a sarcastic chuckle, "I don't think so."

"Look, Tucker," Cole made sure he looked him in the eye, "You and I both know the reason you left is only _part_ of the reason you left. 'Course you're gonna miss it; you were in IAB for a long time."

"CIU's not that much different," Ed replied, sounding like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Cole, "Not as intense though."

"You gonna look to transfer again?"

"Nah," Tucker said, "I have what? Eight more years 'til mandatory? This is right, it's good…to be able to raise Noah and actually _raise_ Noah, be there for Liv."

Cole smirked. Whenever Ed talked about his wife and son he flushed with pride. "Ya got your head in the right place, Tucker. Job'll get better…NYPD's bound to screw up big at some point. You and I both know that."

The former partners exchanged a knowing laugh.

"Amen to that," Ed muttered and pulled out his wallet. "I gotta go after this one."

…..

Olivia was already changed out of her work clothes and into jeans and a t-shirt when Ed got home. She stood in the kitchen over a pot of boiling water, stirring what Ed soon saw was spaghetti. He came up behind her and nuzzled her neck.

"Italian tonight?"

She leaned back ever so slightly and caught the scent of the bourbon and the outside air on her husband. "That okay?"

"You never have to ask."

"How's Cole?"

Ed slid his arms around her waist, "He says hello."

"But how _is_ he?"

"Good."

"Just good?"

"Yep," Ed stretched her collar over her shoulder and kissed the exposed skin.

He groaned when Olivia shoved him away with her hip as she transported the spaghetti to the sink and dumped it in the colander. "Garlic bread's in the oven," she said, "Wanna get it out?"

"Sure," Ed looked around for potholders and Olivia tossed him a towel.

"Noah!" Olivia called, "C'mon, sweet boy, dinner!"

On cue, Noah scampered out and into Ed's arms. He turned the boy upside down, blew strawberries on his belly, and then flipped him right side up and into the booster seat.

"Ready for spaghetti, bud?"

"Ready sagetti!"

"You want wine?" Olivia asked and then teased, "Or more bourbon?"

"Wine," he replied, grabbing the glasses and then reaching over to cut Noah's noodles. Olivia poured and then sat down. "Let's eat. I'm starving."

"Me too," Ed replied, "I skipped lunch." He took his first bite, chewed, and then put his fork down. "Hey, know where we went? Me and Cole?"

"Where?"

"The _bourbon_ bar."

Olivia squinted, amused, "Aren't they all…at some point…bourbon bars?"

Ed smirked, "There's only one bourbon bar, Lieutenant," he said matter-of-factly in his old IAB voice. "At least as far as _we're_ concerned."

Olivia flashed back to the night, over two years ago, when then-Lieutenant Ed Tucker bought her a drink and suggested the bourbon. "Oh yeah," she murmured, smiling at the memory, "We should go back there sometime."

Ed winked at her and took a bite. "I fell in love with you there."

" _How_ _much_ have you had to drink?"

He ignored the question, "I _did_ , Liv. After that night…I _had_ to be with you."

"I think I've heard many versions of this same story."

"Maybe I'm still trying to get you to believe how much I love you," Ed's eyes drooped as he gazed at her from across the table.

"You don't have to do that, Ed," Olivia half-whispered, trying unsuccessfully not to cry, "I believe you. I've _believed_ you…for a long time now."

The suddenly serious exchange between his parents clearly alarmed Noah. " _Mommy_?" He patted her hand and looked to Ed for help, "Daddy?"

"It's okay, bud," Ed soothed.

"Don't worry, sweet boy," Olivia sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin, "I'm just so happy, and…sometimes when we're happy, we cry a little bit." She leaned over and kissed his cheek reassuringly. "Eat your dinner sweetie."

Ed was still staring intently at her as she pulled herself back together. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Olivia conjured some sass and cocked her eyebrow, "Sorry for what?"

"Actually, never mind." Ed's blue eyes drilled deep into her soul, "I'll never apologize for loving you, Liv. Or _you_ , pal," he cupped Noah's head mid-chew causing some spaghetti to dribble onto his shirt, "Nope… _never_ …"

…..

# **Tuckson**


	34. Chapter 34

34.

It never failed. Whenever Captain Tucker entered the squad room, both Fin and Rollins experienced a moment of trepidation before they realized that this was Tucker 2.0—the slightly less-threatening, non-IAB, Lieutenant's husband version. Today he strolled in sans Noah which now was unusual and he offered everyone a slight nod before disappearing into the Lieutenant's office. Rollins followed close at his heels.

"She's not in."

Tucker furrowed his brow and looked around as if he believed neither his eyes nor Rollins and muttered, "I'll wait."

"She went to a meeting…at One PP…those tend to last—"

Tucker took a seat on the sofa and pulled out his phone. "She'll be here soon."

"Can I getcha anything?"

"No thanks." Tucker replied without looking at her.

Rollins was only slightly annoyed by the snub. Tucker always maintained a serious demeanor at work and there _was_ a possibility that he was here for a police-related reason. She shrugged and went back to her desk. A few minutes later, Carisi sauntered in with a soda and a box of leftovers and plopped down at his desk. "Anyone want this?" He asked, "It's some kinda curry…Indian…not bad, a little spicy, but…different."

" _Indian_?" Fin asked, screwing up his face, "Since when do you eat anything but Chinese or your mom's cooking?"

"Since he got himself a girlfriend," Rollins snickered.

Carisi shot her a funny look. There was a good deal of unresolved tension between him and Rollins. He wasn't sure if it was unresolved _sexual_ tension or merely Rollins' reaction at being cast aside as second fiddle, but one day Carisi promised himself the two of them would talk about it. Now that she was the Sarge, he and Fin had been partnered most of the time and when Sonny wasn't on the job, he was usually with Brooke. Although, he did manage to see Jesse every once in a while, but those visits were getting further and further apart.

Carisi possessively slid the food to the center of his desk. "More for me then," he muttered.

"Why don't you offer it to Tucker?" Rollins teased and jerked her head toward Olivia's office. "Your buddy's in there."

Carisi stood up and ducked his head a little, trying to get a glimpse through the half-closed blinds. "Looks like he's on the phone."

"What's going on?"

Olivia appeared behind them, curious as to why all heads were pointed in the direction of her office.

"Hey, Lieu! Tucker's here."

Olivia brushed quickly past them while Carisi was still talking and, to the delight of Fin and Rollins, said nothing in response when he offered her the leftover Indian food. In her office she hung her purse on the coatrack and breathlessly asked Ed what was going on.

All she got in response was the Tucker smirk.

Clearly impatient and busy, Olivia sat behind her desk and ignored his silent flirting. She powered on the laptop and continued with work she'd started that morning.

"I really am here on business," he said after a few minutes.

Olivia peered at him over her glasses. "Really."

"Really."

Still not convinced, Olivia muttered a doubtful, "I'm listening," and continued typing.

"Do you remember a case…about four years ago…Henry Mesner?"

Olivia looked up at the ceiling and thought. Mesner. Henry. Yes. The ten-year-old who sliced his mother's hand with a knife and tried to kill his sister. She remembered. She also remembered the father being in denial about the true state of his son's mental health.

"Let me guess," she replied flatly. "They're claiming he's cured."

"They are. They want a hearing in family court so the judge can hear his psychiatrist's report. They're claiming him being held until he's eighteen amounts to cruel and unusual since…he committed his crimes while mentally ill."

"He's still mentally ill. Huang said he was one of the most concerning cases he'd ever seen. _Doctor Huang_. He's seen a lot."

"DA seems to agree, but, it would help if I could see whatever files you have on him."

"No problem."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Ed made sure to sound overly official, but he craned his neck to inspect the squad room and simultaneously reached to fully close the blinds. "Now, the next order of business is for you to come over here and close the door on your way."

Olivia smiled shyly and watched as he puckered his lips and casually leaned back with his arms splayed out along the backrest.

"Comfortable?"

"Very."

"You really think I'm coming over there?"

"Yes."

Olivia cocked an eyebrow, "And why's that?"

"I'm pulling rank."

" _Oh_?"

"Hey, Lieu! Captain! I—" Carisi froze when he saw his boss's face. She was clearly not in the mood for interruptions. He held out a hand, palm facing her, and apologized. "I'll come back later."

"We'll be right back," Olivia reopened the laptop and clicked a few times, "Tucker needs a file. Captain?"

Ed was having a hard time reverting to cop mode after he'd fully expected at least a little nookie on the couch. "Oh…uh, yeah?"

"Follow me to the records room?"

"Sure." Ed slapped Carisi on the back on the way out, "Good to see ya, Sonny. Maybe a barbecue this weekend?"

"Absolutely, Captain!" Sonny called out to their backs.

Fin and Rollins rolled their eyes and went back to work.

…..

Olivia unlocked the room and led the way down the aisles created by cramped shelves full of evidence boxes and file cabinets.

"You really need this stuff?" She asked skeptically.

" _Lieutenant_ ," he retorted, "You don't think I would come all the way here and make you take time out of your day if I didn't really _need_ this, do you?"

"I guess not."

"But that doesn't mean," Ed deftly stepped in front of her and grabbed her wrists, "We can't take advantage of a little alone time." He kissed her neck and wasted no time running his tongue along the nape of her neck before biting at her earlobe. "Mmmmmm," he droned, the vibrations causing her to break out in goosebumps, "How do you always smell so _good_? Know what? Don't answer that. Some things need to remain a mystery."

Olivia raised no objections when he cupped the back of her head and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Ed trailing a hand under her blouse elicited only a slight chuckle. However, when he began tugging at her waistband, she put two hands on his chest and gently pushed him away.

"Not here."

Ed pouted, trying to look adorable so she'd change her mind.

"Stop it," she said with a smile.

"No sex in the records room?" He asked mournfully.

"No," Olivia examined the room, disgusted with her surroundings, "It's dusty…musty…"

"Office?" Ed suggested hopefully.

Olivia laughed coyly, "Captain Tucker, let's get your files and get out of here before my squad thinks what didn't happen happened."

"Fine," he said, "But, you, me, bottle of wine, and dinner later."

"It's a date."

Temporarily held at bay, Ed took a step back and gazed at his wife admiringly. "Or maybe, meet me at the bourbon bar after you're done here?"

"Okay."

"One more kiss."

"Fine, but that's _it_."

"For now."

"Yes, for now." Olivia wanted to convey exasperation, but Ed Tucker simply was too cute to be annoying. He smirked as he planted another kiss on her lips and the smack echoed throughout the area when they broke apart.

"Cause I'll be kissing you forever, you know that right?"

Olivia had already started making her way to the shelves matching the case number, but she turned around and smiled at her husband.

"I look forward to it."

…..

"Mmmmm, God, Liv," Ed moaned into Olivia's mouth, carefully massaging her tongue with his as he tenderly made love to her. The night had gone perfectly according to plan—they had drinks at the bourbon bar, reminisced about the early days of their relationship, and batted around ideas for their impending trip out west. Throughout the conversation, Ed rarely took his eyes off his wife. Even when he was ordering another round or paying for their drinks, his adoration for Olivia was obvious to anyone paying attention. The Tuckers were comfortably ensconced in their little bubble of bliss at the corner of the bar.

At home, they read Noah his stories and kissed him goodnight. Brooke had been babysitting and Olivia politely invited her to stay for a drink, but she declined, sensing they really wanted to be alone.

Now here they were, tangled together under one crisp sheet, having experienced an almost-simultaneous climax. Ed had gasped as he melted inside her and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to prolong the euphoria. When he opened his lids again, Olivia was gazing at him sweetly, appreciatively, but what he said next completely changed both her expression and the course of the night.

"I wanna make a baby with you."

He'd never seen her eyes so wide, and they were filled with curiosity, shock, regret…maybe a bit of amusement? Despite knowing he'd brought up an awkward topic at a terrible time, Ed didn't exactly regret what he said.

Olivia scooted to sit up, so Ed rested on his side next to her and waited for a response.

" _Ed_ ," Olivia sighed. She reached over and caressed his cheek so he would know she wasn't completely freaked out. "We've…we've talked about this."

They had talked about it. But only in the context of whether or not Noah was their last child. Ed knew Olivia was open to adopting again, but he also knew she was still able to get pregnant even though she expressed serious concerns about a pregnancy happening when she was almost fifty years old. Each time the topic arose, they reached the same conclusion. Noah was it…or so Olivia _thought_ that was the conclusion.

"Yeah," he replied softly, "I know…I…lately, Liv, I've." He struggled to form sentences and Olivia waited patiently, "I've been feelin'…kinda down."

"That Noah's growing up?" Olivia guessed, thinking about how old their son looked at his team soccer party.

"Maybe, a little, but, and I know I've said before that this wasn't such a big deal…but I need more time, Liv. I'm, almost _mad_ , that it took us so long to get together. I'm so in love with you, but we've missed so much… _time_ …and, that's, hard sometimes. It's unfair."

Tears welled in her eyes. She'd occasionally battled the same thoughts. Physically, Olivia felt young. She felt _good,_ healthy, confident, and optimistic. However, every once in a while something would force her to see a darker side of reality. She and Ed would never celebrate a fiftieth wedding anniversary. Noah would still be a young man when he lost his parents. There would never be a biological Olivia and Ed Tucker baby.

"It is unfair," Olivia agreed, still touching Ed's face, "But, we're happy _now_."

"We are," Ed interjected, hoping his words hadn't been misconstrued.

"I get it…but I also don't know, or, don't think, we could've been _we_ any earlier. It's…the hand we were dealt, Ed. And I'm flattered," she leaned over to give him a peck on the lips, "you want to have a baby with me, but it's…it's not in our cards."

"I knew that," Ed replied, "It just came out, Liv, I…I…you know I love you, but sometimes, like, just a few minutes ago before I made things incredibly awkward."

They shared a laugh and Ed continued his thought.

"When we're makin' love or even just makin' _dinner,_ that love…" Ed trailed off, at a loss for words to adequately describe his thoughts.

"Gets very heavy?" Olivia finished for him.

He nodded in agreement. "But a good heavy."

"Yeah."

"Which is why…that love, that _heavy_ , it could create another _person_ , and I'd still have so much left over."

Olivia blinked back tears. "Me too."

"Don't cry." He dragged his thumb under one eye and then the other. "Don't cry, baby."

"I don't want us to regret… _us_ ," Olivia whispered in a shaky voice.

"Never," he rasped, "C'mere." He slid and arm under her torso and pulled her closer. "I'm sorry. I didn't meanta upset you."

Olivia swallowed a lump in her throat, "You didn't."

"Yeah I did."

"I'm almost…relieved, Ed, you…you've never told me that before…about it feeling unfair. I understand."

"You feel that way, too?"

"Not all the time. Every once in a while." She shifted so she could look him in the eyes, "But you know how I deal with it?"

"How?"

"I think about how much you love me and Noah and how grateful I am for us."

"Me too."

"Please don't hold those things inside, Ed." She offered a warm smile, " _Talk to me_. No matter what you say, I'm not going anywhere."

He laughed a little at the irony of her using one of his classic lines. Other than more _I love yous_ , no more words were spoken. They snuggled under the sheets for a while but finally drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

….

"So, sweet boy, Brooke's picking you up from school today and you're going to Coney Island."

Noah briefly acknowledged his mother as she explained the day's plans, but he quickly returned his attention to his bagel.

"You've been there before," Olivia continued, "But you weren't even two yet. I don't think you remember. You can ride on the carousel and you're going to the beach and Brookey will take you for a walk on the boardwalk."

"I swim?"

"Yep. I have your bag all packed. But, remember, it's not like the pool. You can play in the waves."

Interested now, Noah's eyes widened. "Big waves?"

"Yeah," Olivia flipped through her phone and found a picture of last year's Fourth of July weekend, "You've been to the beach, remember this? It was last summer."

Noah screwed up his face. "Dat Jeff?"

Olivia checked. She had, indeed, shown him a picture including Sarah's ex-husband. "Yeah, that's Jeff."

"Where Jeff?"

"He's in Philadelphia. Sarah lives here in New York now, and he stayed there."

"Oh."

"So, anyway, tell Brookey to take lots of pictures of you today."

"Ok, Mommy."

"And then you can draw a picture for us tonight and tell us all about it."

Noah grinned, "I draw _Ma'hattan_ ," he said in an almost annoyed tone.

"You only draw Manhattan?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, maybe today you can draw Brooklyn. Coney Island is in Brooklyn."

Noah turned around and faced the window, "Brooklyn out dere, too?"

"It is, it's across the river."

"Ohhhhh," he murmured then took another bite. "Ok, Mommy, I draw Brooklyn."

Ed emerged, freshly showered, and dressed in a navy suit, white shirt, and navy-and-green striped tie. He made a beeline for Noah, kissed the top of his head, and whispered, "Mornin' bud."

"Mornin!" Noah replied cheerfully. He held out a piece of his bagel, "Beckfast?"

Ed popped the bagel into his mouth, "Thanks, bud."

"You welcome."

"Do you want a bagel?" Olivia hadn't expected any lingering effects from last night's discussion, but she unexpectedly felt nervous and apprehensive, and hoped to tread toward normalcy by offering him something to eat.

Ed only managed a fleeting glance at his wife, "Nah, thanks though."

"You sure?"

"I'm not that hungry." His voice was kind but distant. "And I gotta get goin." He grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet and put them in their respective pockets.

Olivia scrutinized him closely, worried, suddenly debating whether or not he would give her the customary goodbye kiss.

"Alright," Ed said, "You have fun with Brookey today, No."

Noah pointed at Ed's chest, "Daddy, no clip. Need da clip for p'lice."

Ed looked down. "Oh yeah. I'll get it."

While he retrieved the accoutrement, Olivia finished the rest of her coffee and put the empty mug in the dishwasher. She closed the door, spun around to clear Noah's dishes, and nearly collided with Ed. He took her into his arms and pressed his forehead to hers. "Bye, Liv."

"Bye," she whispered back and briefly closed her eyes in relief.

He kissed her once. Twice. Olivia put a hand on the back of his head and leaned in for one more, daring to part her lips slightly. He accepted the invitation and tenderly ran his tongue over hers a few times. The kiss was deep and passionate but also gentle and brief. Nevertheless, it forced Olivia to gasp for air and take a step backwards to steady herself.

"I love you, Liv."

"Love you, too."

His forehead was, again, pressed to hers, "We're okay, right?"

"Right."

"Cause I can't leave if we're not."

The pain in his face startled her, "We are."

He remained millimeters from her lips a few seconds longer, breathing her in, eyes closed, wishing he hadn't said what he said but at the same time glad he said it.

"Told Carisi we'd barbecue this weekend."

Olivia appreciated the mundane normalcy of his comment. "Then we'll barbecue."

"Good."

She smiled.

"Good."

….

 **#Tuckson**

Yes, I know the OCs got zero fic time here but they'll be back in full force soon :-)


	35. Chapter 35

35.

Olivia multitasked behind her desk. Carisi and Fin were out following up on a call and checking in periodically; in the meantime she made headway into the seemingly never ending paperwork. Even after pawning some of it off on Rollins, the pile never seemed to diminish. Occasionally she allowed herself to be distracted by the pictures Brooke sent from Coney Island and she found herself spending an inordinate amount of time gazing at her son in various poses along the boardwalk, carousel, and beach. However, the photos also made her think about Ed's spontaneous post-coital outburst and the chasm that had subsequently opened between them.

Ed hadn't been gone more than five minutes before she called Dr. Lindstrom and he agreed to meet her for a brief post-lunch session that day even though he was booked solid and Olivia had been a less-than-regular patient for almost a year.

Olivia stepped into the squad room. "Hey, Amanda, I'm leaving for a bit. Um, call if there's something urgent, okay?"

Rollins took the directive nonchalantly. One could never predict the timing of SVU's cases, but mid-day and mid-week usually didn't require the Lieutenant's direct participation.

Olivia wasn't sure exactly what she wanted to do, but she had an hour between leaving the squad and her appointment with Lindstrom, so she ducked into a bar and nursed a bourbon. While she sipped, she flipped through the pictures stored on her phone. Mostly Noah. But Ed, too. Her boys. Her family.

Another sip.

Bourbon.

 _"I think you should try the bourbon."_

Even that night, with all its flirting and the subtle accidentally-on-purpose touching in the crowded cop bar, even then, Olivia had no clue that Ed Tucker was the _one_. He was ruggedly handsome and smart. His dry sense of humor came out that night and, several times, made Olivia throw her head back in laughter. Real laughter. When they parted on the street, Ed mentioned it.

 _"It was good to see you smile, Sergeant."_

She woke up the next day and realized…she _liked_ him. After years of loathing the man, cringing when he showed up at the precinct, labeling him as dangerous and untrustworthy, a mutual affinity crept up out of nowhere and it confused her. They spent weeks and weeks circling one another, trying to figure out the next steps. Olivia had been so consumed with Noah's adoption that Ed Tucker existed on the periphery for a while.

Until that first kiss in Central Park.

He smiled shyly as their lips parted.

 _"Been wantin' to do that for a while."_

They ambled along the path and Ed, buoyed by the kiss, took a deep breath and expressed relief and appreciation that Olivia had given him a chance.

 _"Considering…everything before."_

That night they had a long conversation and replayed many but not all of the times IAB Ed Tucker had gone after a member of SVU. He knew he was despised, but he also had a deep sense of duty and an innate disgust for fellow officers who took an oath to protect and serve yet broke the law themselves. According to Tucker's philosophy, one dirty cop sullied the entire NYPD and he relentlessly pursued the bad guys in blue.

 _"But that's no excuse…for some of the things I said…to you…"_

There were a few moments with Benson he wished he could take back, and when he stared to recall them, Olivia took his hand and told him it wasn't necessary to revisit every nasty, sarcastic, or insensitive remark.

 _"When I…after Lewis…when you told us…about him asking you that question_ ," Ed couldn't even say _rape_ , " _I felt sick_."

The entire Lewis story came out piece by piece over the course of that summer and fall as Olivia came to trust Tucker more and more. He became her rock. Each time she tried to hold him at a distance, he broke through her walls and stayed close.

But now, even after the morning goodbye, Olivia felt herself floundering again, and it scared her.

"Another one, ma'am?"

Olivia waved off the bartender and handed him her credit card. He swiped it, presented the receipt, and said, "Have a good afternoon, Mrs. Tucker."

…..

Dr. Lindstrom listened thoughtfully as Olivia told him what happened the night before. He made mental notes, mostly of her demeanor and body language. When she called with the request for an emergency session, knowing her past, he immediately became alarmed, but this particular snag in her life seemed easily navigable.

"Olivia, you sound happy. Worried, but happy."

She pressed a wadded tissue to the corner of her eyes but her lips curled into a smile. "I am _so_ happy." She waved her arms around, "Blissful."

"And you think Ed is not?"

"I think he's…feeling a void. One we'll probably never fill."

"You've talked about more children, right?"

"Right. And…we always come to the reality that we're… _old_. And we can put all our energy into raising Noah, and, I thought, that was the end of the discussion. But, last night, Ed knows I haven't completely ruled out adopting again, but last night…it was about a _biological_ child."

Lindstrom scratched his temple. "And…is that a possibility? Physically?"

"Yes, but…I'm almost fifty years old. The risks…seem to outweigh the outcome."

"Have you spoken to your doctor?"  
"No," Olivia forced a sarcastic chuckle, "I didn't think I _needed_ to speak to her until now."

The shrink sat back in his chair, laid both arms on the armrests, and intently studied her. "Olivia, what do you want?"

She took a very deep breath and dabbed at fresh tears. "I want to have what I have twenty years ago."

"Olivia, you and I both know what's done is done. When you first told me about Ed you explained how hostile that relationship was. What you have _couldn't have happened_ until it did." He watched as she processed what he said, "Are you…are you feeling anger towards Ed for bringing up biological children…especially since you thought the issue had been decided?"

Olivia thought about this for a few minutes. "It's not anger," she said slowly, "It's…disappointment, but, more so disappointment in me. That _I_ can't give him what we would both love to have."

Lindstrom pressed his lips together and nodded knowingly, "And you're scared he's going to resent you…and you'll lose him."

It was not a question, but Lindstrom knew the answer because Olivia started choking back sobs.

"Olivia, I cannot tell you to try or not try to have a child. But you must trust your marriage. You and Ed made a commitment, and, from what you've told me, your commitment is _strong_. Your devotion to each other is _strong_. Help each other through this, whatever the decision is, _talk_ to each other. The timing," Lindstrom smiled, a teasing glint in his eye, "of him saying what he said is important. After…some time to think…he may feel differently."

Seeing Lindstrom slightly uncomfortable soothed Olivia and her breathing returned to normal. "You're right. I'm scared. This morning, when we said goodbye, it wasn't right. There was…this distance between us and I've never felt that before, not with Ed."

"Tell him tonight. Exactly what you're feeling."

"Okay."

"So," Lindstrom smiled, "How _is_ little Noah?"

"Getting big," Olivia replied, "I think that might be part of it, too."

"All parents go through that," he said, still smiling, " _Even_ _you_."

…..

"Aww, crap."

"Aww, CAP!" Noah slammed his legs against his car seat as he mimicked Brooke. After a day at Coney Island his face was smeared with remnants of their junk food binge and sand stuck to his legs and his bare feet. Even though Brooke kept slathering sunblock on him, his cheeks were pink and she hoped the flush was just from the heat and not an actual sunburn.

Brooke got out of the SUV and double checked the backseat and the trunk. "Ugh. I left one of our bags at the boardwalk." She realized she hadn't quite collected everything after they rinsed their arms and legs. During the course of the day she purchased a number of new items for Noah—an inflatable alligator, a plush snake, a couple of other noisy trinkets—so their load gradually became larger and, apparently, unmanageable.

"No, are your shoes back there?"

Noah strained to get a glimpse of the floor, "No shoes, Brookey."

"Damn."

"DAMN!"

"Noah, don't say that. I shouldn't have said it. I'm sorry."

"Brookey you say DAMN!"

" _Noah_."

The sharpness in her voice temporarily muted the little boy.

"Let's see," Brooke murmured to herself, "We have the beach toys, my purse, missing Noah's stuff." She looked from the car to the boardwalk and weighed her options. Go back for the bag that might have been toted away by someone else by now or leave it, replace Noah's things, and not have to bother unstrapping him?

"Come on, No," she muttered, reluctantly unbuckling him, "We gotta go get the other bag." She put Noah down on the hot blacktop without thinking and he let out a blood-curdling scream.

"Oh _shit_ ," she quickly scooped him up and cradled him, hoping he hadn't heard the _shit_ , "I'm sorry, buddy."

"Dat hot!" Noah whined.

Brooke massaged his feet one at a time, "You okay?"

"Need my shoes!"

"We're going back to get them. C'mon, on my shoulders ya go!"

"Dis how Daddy carry me!"

"I know, he carried me like this too."

Noah cracked up, "You too big!" He clasped his hands on the sides of Brooke's face as they walked, stretching her skin back towards her ears. From his vantage point, Noah surveyed the boardwalk. Even though he'd had his share of treats throughout the course of the afternoon, he spotted a lemon ice stand.

"Want iceeeeeee!"

"No. We've had enough junk."

"Brookey! Iceeeee!"

"We have to get your bag."

Noah bounced up and down. "Ice-ee! Ice-ee!"

"Ugh," Brooke grumbled, knowing she and Sarah had created this monster. " _Fine_." They went to check on the bag and Brooke breathed a sigh of relief when she found it there undisturbed. Then she dug into her pocket and pulled out a few crumpled bills—just enough to treat her brother to a lemon ice.

…..

Ed beat Olivia home, not that arriving home before her was a novelty, but, arriving home alone certainly was strange. It didn't happen often. He immediately jettisoned his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt on the way to the bedroom. The late June day was blisteringly hot. Brooke certainly had the right idea to spend the afternoon at the beach.

As usual, their bedroom was a mess. They left the sheets and comforter in a twisted heap at the end of the bed, and he could barely make out the upholstery on the chair and ottoman. A half-full glass of water sat on each of their nightstands. Earrings were scattered on Olivia's side and the sight made Ed smile. She always forgot to take them out until she put her head on her pillow and they poked the side of her head.

He stared at the empty bed for an inordinate amount of time and pinched the bridge of his nose.

" _Damn_."

Of all the things he could have said last night, he chose the one sentence that completely deflated their post-lovemaking bliss. But that was how he felt. Right then, a redemptive, passionate wave surged through his body as he took in the sight of his wife right after he'd filled her with every ounce of love he had. That love often overwhelmed him, but, something about last night overloaded the circuits and…

" _I wanna make a baby with you."_

"Damn," he muttered again _._

The alarm chimed and snapped him back to the present. Olivia was home.

"Ed?"

Her voice echoed faintly through the apartment.

"In here." He flung his shirt aside and was pulling on shorts when Olivia entered.

"Hey."

Olivia had removed her blazer and stood in front of him in a dark pink sleeveless blouse the tail of which was wedged between her badge and her waist. The Glock was still affixed to her belt. Ed's gaze slowly drifted upward past her chest, to her lips which still showed traces of lip gloss, and finally, her eyes. Those brown eyes seemed hopeful, inviting, calm…they were a welcome sight.

"Hey." He reached first for the gun, removed it, and then plucked the shield, careful not to get it tangled with the blouse, and tossed it next to the weapon. "How was your day?"

"Not great," she answered honestly, but there was a softness in her voice that Ed found comforting. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah."

Olivia changed clothes and, eyeing the disarray of their room, suggested they move to the living room or office. "Actually, how about the office?" She said, "It's so cozy in there but we never use it."

They settled in on the well-worn brown sofa. The floating shelves Carisi helped install gave the room the illusion of being larger than it actually was, and the window, though not the floor-to-ceiling variety of their main living space, let in streams of natural light. On the walls were the rest of Ed's historic New York prints.

Ed opened a cabinet door and produced an unfamiliar bottle. "Drink?"

Olivia broke into a wry smile, "You're hiding alcohol?"

"Nah," he replied, smiling back at her, "Carisi brought it over and put it in there. Think he was hiding it from Sarah, actually."

He opened the twist-off top and sniffed. "Smells sweet." There was an antique tin cup in one of the display cabinets and Ed retrieved it, blew out some dust, and poured. They passed the cup back and forth as they spoke.

"I saw Lindstrom today," Olivia said.

"Kinda thought you might."

"You did?"

Remorse filled Ed's eyes. "Somethin' was off this morning."

" _Yes_ ," Olivia sighed, relieved. Immediately feeling better, she inched closer to Ed.

"Liv," he shut his eyes tightly for a second, "I've been thinkin' all day about what to say to you. And…I can't apologize, baby. I just can't. Because, I meant what I said, but I know…I know it's not gonna happen."

Olivia played with the hem of her shorts. "One of the things he told me today… _after_ I said I wanted to turn back the clock twenty years, was that we _couldn't_ have be us any earlier. And he's right. And I have to accept that. And," she lifted her eyes to meet his, " _We_ have to accept that."

"I keep thinkin'—this is my fault. If I woulda just…I dunno…asked you out…proven I wasn't a monster earlier—" He stopped talking because, instead of the expected tears, Olivia started smiling. "What?"

She grabbed his hands. "We're both blaming ourselves. And I never thought you were a monster."

"Why are _you_ blaming yourself?"

"Because I…because I'm forty-nine years old and I don't think getting pregnant at forty-nine is going to have a very happy ending. And you…if you were with someone younger…that baby, wouldn't be such a challenge." The smile faded now and giant teardrops tumbled down her cheeks.

Ed's heart sank. "Olivia," he wrestled his hands out of her grip and grabbed her shoulders, " _Now_ , I'm apologizing. I am so sorry. _Look at me_. I. Do. Not. Want. Anyone. But. You. _Ever_. Olivia, you can ignore anything else I ever say, but you gotta believe that." Her body shook and he took her into his arms while she rode out the sobs. "I'm never leaving, baby. I'm always gonna be here. I _love_ you."

"I love you too," Olivia choked out.

"Hey," Ed held her at arm's length with one hand and wiped her tears with the other hand. "Our life is perfect the way it is. I think…there's always gonna be a little…uh…well, it's always gonna bother us a little bit it took so long to get this happy, and, yeah, it woulda been really special to have a child together. But you let me into Noah's life, Liv. You really did give me a son. And you and Noah and the girls? My life's complete. _Our_ life is complete. And I'm gonna spend the rest of mine making sure you are the happiest woman on the planet."

Olivia sniffled and swallowed hard. "And…making sure Noah's the most spoiled boy on the planet," she managed to joke through a few final tears.

Ed grinned sheepishly, but the fear that he'd irrevocably damaged his marriage disappeared. "I think…yeah, that's the plan."

They were in the middle of a kiss that seemed to be leading to brown leather sofa sex, but Olivia's phone pinged and kept pinging.

She peeled herself from Ed's chest and picked it up.

"Brooke's downstairs," she reported. "Noah's sound asleep and she's double parked."

"I'll go."

Olivia smiled at him. "Okay…I'll get something started for dinner."

"I'll help ya." He winked at her, "Noah prolly won't eat. I'm sure Brooke's been feeding him crap all day."

Olivia rolled her eyes good-naturedly, "Of course."

"They really need to stop doing that."

She shook her head. "No they don't."

….

Carisi desperately wanted to have all Tuckers over to his mother's house for a Saturday barbecue, but Sarah and Brooke insisted they stay in Manhattan and use the grilling area on the roof of their building. The area was partially shaded and they rarely took advantage of the perk.

"Besides," Sarah whined, "Who on Earth wants to go all the way to Staten Island on a Saturday afternoon?

The girls were already through one bottle of wine, and Carisi was on his second beer when the rest of the Tuckers arrived with apologies. They made Noah take an early nap and he slept longer than usual. Ed sarcastically attributed it to his outing with Brooke and she deftly deflected the accusation with her own sardonic reply. Carisi ignored the banter and offered drinks—Olivia took a glass of chilled white sangria and Ed took a beer.

"And for you, Noah," Carisi said dramatically, "I gotcha this!"

Noah's eyes widened as Carisi produced a plastic cup in the shape of a dinosaur. A stegosaurus to be exact. "Whoa!" He exclaimed and eagerly accepted the drink.

"Ya rinsed all the vodka outta there, right?" Sarah asked, "That's the cup we usually use for Sonny," she explained sassily.

Apparently the master of tuning out unpleasant discussion, Sonny turned to Ed, "Cap, I got steaks, burgers, and ribs. We'll make everything and have a little mixed grill thing goin' on. Brooke picked up some potato salad and my mom made pasta salad, so we're all set."

"Sounds good," Ed replied, "We brought dessert. Liv, we _did_ bring it, right?"

She grinned, "We did."

"So, let's head upstairs," Brooke said, "Everything's up there already."

…..

There were a few other people enjoying the afternoon on the rooftop, but no other families were using the culinary area, so the Tuckers had it all to themselves. Sonny, Ed, and Noah huddled around the grill; Ed kept Noah perched on his hip for a while but then put him down.

"Stay where I can see ya, bud," he said. Noah took the warning to heart. He never ventured more than a few steps away from Ed.

Sarah, Brooke, and Olivia took seats on the nearby lounges and engaged in what Olivia considered to be their old-style girl talk. Silly. Innocent. Light-hearted. Considering the events of the past month, it was a welcome change.

"So," Sarah said, rolling her eyes, "My boss has season tickets to the Yankees and this other guy has season tickets to the Mets so next week I have to go to _two_ fucking baseball games. Ugh."

"You poor thing," Brooke replied.

Sarah didn't acknowledge the sarcasm. "I know. And they're day games. Actually, I don't know if day or night games are better. And, guess what? One of 'em is against the Phillies. Wouldn't you die if Jeff was there?"

"I wouldn't," Brooke said, "But you would."

"I would."

Olivia tried to steer the conversation in a different direction, "Brooke, thanks for taking Noah yesterday. It was all he could talk about this morning."

Brooke grinned. "He is so good. I was dragging him all around, the rides, the boardwalk, the beach and he just kept smiling and babbling on and on."

"I wish I woulda been there," Sarah moaned, "I'm missing Noey's _childhood_."

"It was one day, Sare," Brooke retorted, "And next time we're taking you. On the beach? I was ready just to chill out and he had me making sand castles and diving into waves. I think I fell asleep as soon as I got home."

Sarah narrowed her eyes, "Well, you were awake later on," she teased.

Brooke reddened.

Olivia looked over at Ed, Carisi, and Noah. "He's a good guy, Brooke. Keeping him around?"

Sarah, probably glad to have the spotlight on her sister's love life instead of hers, pressed for more information, "Yeah, Brookey, are we keeping him around? He's practically living with us. And I didn't realize he's so old."

"He's not old." Brooke thought about Sarah's brief dalliance with Chief Dodds but didn't dare bring it up.

"He's in his thirties."

"Well, I'm almost thirty," Brooke argued, "And, I can't imagine dating anyone younger. I need…a real man."

Olivia and Sarah exchanged impressed glances.

"A real man," Sarah drawled, "Like Daddy. Livvie, Daddy really is a real man, isn't he?"

"Yes he is."

"I love him," Sarah cooed.

"Me too."

"Me too."

Sarah lifted her glass, "Cheers to loving Daddy."

"Cheers!"

The noise grabbed the attention of the men at the grill.

"Whaddya you girls doin' over there?" Carisi asked.

"Talking about you," Sarah sassed.

Carisi looked at Ed and Noah, shrugged, and turned back to the meat.

"So," Sarah said, "What are we doing for the Fourth?"

Brooke bit her lip, "Sonny…um…he's taking me out on a boat."

"A _boat_?"

"Yeah."

"Like, on one of those cruises?" Olivia asked.

"No…just us."

Sarah practically jumped out of her chair. "Omigod, omigod, _omigawwwwd_."

" _Shhhh_ ," Brooke warned.

Olivia laughed a little and fixed her eyes on Ed. "The last boat ride we took…Valentine's Day…it was nice. You'll have a great time."

Sarah coughed mid-sip and proclaimed, a little too loudly for Brooke's comfort, "She's gonna have _more_ than just a great time."

….

Back at home later that night, Ed, who apparently hadn't had enough of the rooftops, suggested they take their small bottle of port up to the roof and hang out there for a while. Noah was already asleep, so they toted him and a blanket upstairs and parked themselves on a loveseat. Olivia cradled Noah, and Ed slung his arm around her shoulders.

"Nice night," he remarked.

"It is. And it was a nice day."

"Sarah seemed normal."

"She did. Hopefully…she's back on track."

Ed laughed, "I don't know if that was ever the case."

Olivia clinked glasses with him, "Point taken."

"And…Carisi, he's…I hope it works out with him and Brooke."

"Me too. They're a good fit."

"They livin' together?"

"Officially? I don't think so. But Sarah reports he's there…often."

"Fine with me."

"Me too."

"You like your steak?"

"I did."

Ed shot her a satisfied smirk, "I told Carisi to take it off the grill before it got too well done. I know how ya like it."

Olivia put her head on his shoulder, admired the shimmering stars painted against the clear night sky, and mused, "You do, Ed. You really do."

…


	36. Chapter 36

**36**.

"I can't take the Fourth off this year," Olivia told Ed reluctantly as they readied for work Monday morning. "I mean…hopefully I'll be able to get home at a decent hour and see the fireworks, but I can't leave New York."

"That's okay," Ed said with a mouthful of toothpaste, "It's a Tuesday anyway. Prolly be slow."

"Let's hope so." Olivia had long ago stopped banking on traditionally slow nights. She'd been burned one too many times.

"We wouldn't do anything crazy anyway, right? Just go upstairs?"

Olivia leaned forward and plucked a few stray hairs from her chin. "Right."

"Whaddya doin?"

"Tweezing."

"Tweezing what?"

"Um, hair?"

"I've never noticed any hair or any tweezing."

"Ed," Olivia tried to reason, "You've seen me tweeze before."

"I have?"

"Yes."

"Honestly, Liv?" He looked her up and down approvingly, "I'm just glad to be in the same bathroom as you."

"Now that's a quote for a Valentine's Day card."

He kissed her cheek. "I'll go write it down."

….

Carisi rubbed his forehead vigorously between his index finger and thumb. Monday night had bled into Tuesday morning and he was tired.

"Carisi, why donchaa go get a couple hours in the crib?" Fin suggested, "Oh, and Happy Fourth of July."

Carisi groaned. "Yeah, thanks. But I can't sleep in there."

"Me neither."

Carisi appreciated the camaraderie, "Seen your grandson lately?"

"Not lately. They've been on vacation, seein' Alejandro's family."

"Gonna watch the fireworks tonight?"

"Maybe…if we don't get a call. And you're on duty, too, ya know, the Lieutenant and the Sarge have family stuff. But…are _you_ the Lieutenant's family stuff?" Fin grinned devilishly at Carisi.

Carisi blushed. "Honestly?"

Fin sat down and softened his expression. He surprised himself with his response. "Yeah. Honestly."

"I'd really like to be in their family stuff." Carisi shifted in his chair, "They…all of them…they're really good people."

"I've known Liv for a long time," Fin said, "And, I've known Tucker for a long time."

"Yeah, I heard Tucker was kinda an asshole."

Fin smirked, "Yeah, asshole sounds about right."

"He ever investigate you?"

"Nah," Fin answered nonchalantly, "He always went after Liv's old partner, Stabler, After he left he kinda backed off. 'Cept for the time he tried to get Liv's old boyfriend killed."

Carisi did a double take, " _What_?"

Fin chuckled, aware at how extreme that must have sounded. "I'm exaggeratin' but only a little bit." He went on to summarize the investigation into the Twelfth Precinct and how Brian Cassidy's life had been in danger. "Then, after that, Liv made Sarge and the whole thing with Lewis went down…then before we know it Liv's seein' Tucker."

"But he arrested the Lieutenant, didn't he?"

"He kinda had to," Fin said with a shrug, "That case…man…that was a weird one. Nonna us could figure out what was goin' on, but, we had a good ME then and she saw somethin' weird with the DNA…good thing…or she might still be in jail."

Carisi rubbed his chin. "Guess I'm glad I missed all that. I like this Tucker. Even if you all are still a little lukewarm about him."

"If Liv's happy we're happy. But," Fin leaned over his desk, "I'll tell you what, he ever screws up? We're the first ones to have her back."

"Amen to that," Carisi agreed, "But I don't think that'll happen. I'm more worried about screwin' somethin' up with Brooke and him coming after _me_."

"Yeah," Fin said, "I heard, uh, you cross Tucker's daughters and you end up with a swollen face."

"How'd you hear about that?"

"Happened in a cop bar. People talk."

"From what I heard, Chief Dodds deserved it."

"Maybe that's why he hasn't made a big deal outta it."

"Prolly."

Both Fin and Carisi caught sight of the Lieutenant coming out of the elevator and they turned to greet her with weary smiles. She looked surprised to see them.

"Have you been here all night?"

"Yup," Carisi answered proudly.

"Why?"

"Little party over at Hudson," Fin answered, "Report's on your desk. But, same old thing, high school girls pretendin' to be older, drink too much, start takin' pictures, they end up online. Child porn. Pretty open and shut."

"How'd we get it?"

"Local precinct handed it off. Parents filed the initial complaint."

Olivia sighed. "Okay. Anything else?"

"Carisi's been up all night and refuses to take a nap."

Olivia rolled her eyes and let out a sarcastic laugh, "Carisi, go home for a little while."

"Thanks, Lieutenant." He turned to Fin, "See, she knows I can't sleep in there." He jerked his thumb towards the crib and grabbed his phone and keys. "I'll be back in a couple hours."

"Tell Brooke hello for me," Olivia said breezily. She disappeared into her office and left a red-cheeked Carisi at the mercy of Fin, who doubled over with laughter.

…..

Sarah showed her ID to the day care desk attendant who then buzzed her through the double doors and into the main day care area. It certainly wasn't the first time she had been in the place, but, each time she retrieved Noah the primary-colored walls and toddler cacophony made her wince. Sensory overload. The children moved in mini-circles, playing games and having conversations that made sense only to them.

One teacher greeted her with a curious smile, and Sarah answered the question before she could pose it. "I'm here for Noah. Noah Tucker?"

"Oh, sure, he's right over there," she pointed to a group of boys huddled around, no surprise, a train set.

Sarah took a few steps, but Noah looked up, saw her, and ran over immediately. "Hi Sare bear!"

"Hi, No!" She smiled at his grubby face and equally grubby red-white-and blue t-shirt, "I'd hug ya, but you're a little dirty. Wanna go to the spray fountain and get cleaned up?"

Noah's eyes brightened, "Uh-huh! Lessgo!"

"Okay, where's your stuff?"

"In da cubby."

"Show me."

Noah trotted over to the cubbies and Sarah followed. Noah started dragging everything out and Sarah collected it. "Seems like kinda a lot for a day at day care," she murmured, sifting through his things—lunch box, sippy cup, extra shoes, an extra outfit, a few assorted toys, coloring pages, and a package of wipes.

"Some of that stuff stays here," an unfamiliar voice said.

Sarah looked up and, next to her, stood a tall young man with a boy a bit younger than Noah perched on his hip. "Oh," she said, "I guess that makes more sense." She shoved the clothes, shoes, and wipes back into the cubby. When she reached for the toys, Noah interjected.

"No, Sarah! Those toys mine! We take 'em wiff us!"

"Why do you bring all these toys to day care when there're toys here?"

Noah squinted at her, "Daddy let me."

Sarah laughed. "And Mommy doesn't?"

"Mommy say toys stay home."

The man laughed. "You the nanny?"

Sarah screwed up her face, "No, he's my brother."

He smiled. "Really? This one's my brother."

"Really?"

"Yup," he replied, still smiling, "This is my Dad's…um…fourth marriage?"

Sarah grinned back at him, "Well, you have us beat. This one," she mussed Noah's hair, "Is from marriage number two."

"I've never seen you here before."

"I don't pick him up very often. I didn't have to work today, so I thought I'd spend a little time with him. After I slept in, of course."

The man smiled, revealing a row of perfectly straight, white teeth which probably seemed whiter because of his tanned olive skin. His dark brown, thick, curly hair was slightly unkempt, probably intentionally, and Sarah wondered about his ethnicity. He had an exotic air about him. "I did the same thing," he replied. "What do you do?"

"Accounting. You?"

"At the moment, I do law school."

" _Sare Bear_! Lessgo!" Noah hugged Sarah's leg.

"Okay No, we'll go," she slung his backpack over her shoulder, "I'm taking him to the fountain at DeWitt Clinton. Care to join us?"

"Uh, sure, that's a great idea. We were going to swim at our pool, but it's inside. It'll be good to be out for a while." He stuck out his hand, "I'm Isaac."

"Sarah." His handshake was firm. "And this is Noah."

Isaac bounced his brother, "This is Lucas."

Sarah grabbed Noah's hand, "So, we'll go home so I can get him changed and meet there in maybe a half hour?"

"Sounds good."

…

Since meeting Ed and his daughters, the frames behind and on Olivia's desk had multiplied and she regularly rotated the photographs. One, however, remained constant. It was taken at the beach last summer—the three of them on the blanket, smiling up at the sky as the fireworks exploded, illuminating their faces. Brooke had taken the photo, thinking it would probably be a throwaway, but upon further inspection, realized it was precious and a keeper.

Olivia fixated on that photo now.

With Carisi still out, Rollins off-duty for the day, and Fin also sent home to take a break, she had some rare alone time in the squad room. Uniformed officers still milled about, but SVU's business was quiet for the time being, probably the calm before tonight's storm, and an idea popped into her head. She sent a text to Ed.

 _Free for lunch?_

He immediately responded. _Where_?

 _Bring me something?_

Ed arrived thirty minutes later with two deli sandwiches and sodas. He put the bags on her desk and started unwrapping the items before he noticed Olivia simpering at him.

He raised his eyebrows. " _Yesss_?"

"Close the door," Olivia commanded in a voice a couple of octaves deeper than normal.

Ed raised his eyebrows and froze.

Olivia repeated, "Close the door."

Without a word, Ed sauntered away and pushed the door closed.

"Lock it."

He obliged and turned back to her with a smirk. "Lieutenant, you've entrapped me under false pretenses."

"You don't sound terribly upset, but," Olivia took a handful of his shirt and tugged it from his waistband, "You can file a complaint on your way out if you so choose."

Her mouth collided with his, making him stumble backwards. With his lips still on hers he smiled and rasped, "I _knew_ you wanted to do this."

Olivia replied, "You're very persistent," and opened her mouth wide, curling her tongue around his.

"If I wasn't, we wouldn't be together," he managed to croak.

"Shutup, Ed." She playfully shoved him onto the sofa.

Enjoying her assertiveness and her hungry countenance, he fell backwards with exaggerated helplessness and muttered in an overly-compliant tone, "It's your office, Lieutenant."

They fell into each other, kissing and pawing at one another's waistbands, careful to toss the weapons and badges aside. Acknowledging they had to be both quick and precise, Olivia wasted little time and shoved his pants down as they deepened their kiss all the while grinding against him.

Ed could only gasp, " _Liv_ " and fumble blindly with her button and zipper as she rotated her hips and plunged her tongue more deeply into his mouth. He felt her wriggle out of one pant leg and then another and she straddled him, teasing, before stepping out of her panties and guiding him into her.

Typically, it was Olivia who gasped the _Oh Gods_ during sex, but it was Ed, now, who moaned those words as he reached to pull her into him even further, burying his face in her neck, and finally, pushing her over the edge by expertly flicking his fingers between them. The sight of her fighting to hold in a shriek made him come earlier than he would have liked, but Olivia either didn't notice or didn't care. She collapsed onto his chest and hummed contentedly while he used both hands to reach up her shirt and caress her back, bringing them both down from the sexual high they'd just experienced.

"We better not stay here too long," she panted.

"I know."

"It's good though."

Ed grinned, "More than just good…I've _always_ wanted to do this."

"Well, Happy Fourth of July."

"Good things _always_ happen on this day."

"They do?"

"Yep. Last year, remember? At the beach? We decided we'd live together?"

"Oh yeah…"

"And the Fourth of July before that? We'd just kinda…started seein' each other?"

Olivia smiled. In the summer months after Noah's adoption she, Ed, and Noah formed a cautious bond, and they'd watched the fireworks together on Olivia's building rooftop. At the show's conclusion, Olivia invited Ed in for a nightcap. He accepted, and their first real make-out session ensued.

"I remember," Olivia purred, "I didn't know what was happening."

"I knew what I _wanted_ to happen," Ed replied, "And it did."

"It did."

"Thank you, Liv."

"For sex in my office?" She mumbled into his chest.

"Well, _that_ , and, for letting me love you."

"I've never felt more loved by anybody. Ever."

"And you never will."

Olivia hummed contentedly, soaking up the last few sweet seconds before she had to put herself back together again.

"You do realize," Ed remarked, amused, "You are never gonna be able to suggest lunch without me thinking it means _this_ , right?"

"Well, stay on your toes, Captain," she purred, "You never know when _this_ will happen again."

….

Ed, Sarah, and Noah claimed their spot on the rooftop well before sunset. As soon as Sarah and Noah returned from the spray fountain, she lugged their folding chairs and cooler upstairs to reserve a space and gleefully found that only a few other people had the same idea.

"Now, Noey," she instructed, "We have to pick up our order from the deli."

"You get cake?"

"Brownies."

"YUM!"

Satisfied their space was secure for the time being, Sarah led Noah back downstairs. "But you haveta eat some sandwich, I'm worried your blood sugar is too high and Mommy and Daddy won't let me and Brookey see you anymore."

Noah stopped walking and stared up at Sarah with a horrified expression.

Sarah smacked her forehead with her palm, "I'm sorry, Noey! That's never gonna happen. I'm just being dramatic."

"You damatic?" Noah whispered.

"Yes."

"I damatic?"

"No, you're perfect." Sarah picked him up and hugged him. "Perfecto! And I love you."

"Luvvvvyou!"

Considering it was a holiday and he technically didn't have to be working anyway, Ed returned home briefly after lunch to change and, feeling energetic, took his bike out for a ride along the Hudson River. He pedaled vigorously and wove in and out of slower pedestrians and cyclists. Optimism flooded his body and soul and he pictured the future—continuing to teach Noah how to throw the football, loving his wife, providing for his family in every way possible. He'd never felt more masculine.

When he arrived at home, Sarah was organizing more bags to take upstairs. She grinned at her Dad from behind the cluttered island, knowing he would scoff at but secretly appreciate the abundance of food and drink.

"Where's Noah?"

"Taking a nap."

"Alright. I'm gonna shower and we should prolly head up there soon."

"I put the chairs up there already."

Ed kissed her on the head, "Very smart. Thanks."

"Is Livvie coming?"

Ed frowned. "She's gonna try, but, she's still operating with a thin squad and she's tryin' to make sure Carisi doesn't haveta come in."

Sarah grinned mischievously, "Well that is very nice of her, but…what about that other detective? That guy who shot the kid? I thought he was working at SVU?"

"He didn't work out, or, as soon as there was an opening somewhere else, he transferred. SVU isn't for everybody."

"I bet."

"And Liv, she's been interviewing some other people, but she hasn't been happy with any of 'em."

"They don't just send people to her?"

Ed's cheeks flushed with pride, "Not anymore. One PP's given her a lotta latitude with personnel…"

"Oh Daddy," Sarah swatted at him, "You're so cute."

Ed rolled his eyes. "I'm getting cleaned up. Did you call Grandma and ask if she wanted to come?"

"I did but she said she doesn't want to come all the way to Manhattan to sweat to death on the roof, but she did say we should come for Sunday dinner this weekend."

"Prolly not gonna happen," Ed muttered.

"Not for me at least," Sarah replied, "I'm going to the Yankees game."

Ed furrowed his brow, surprised to hear excitement in her voice. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"With people from work?"

"Nope. This guy I met. Isaac."

Ed nodded nonchalantly and went to get cleaned up, secretly almost giddy with relief that the "guy" wasn't Bill Dodds.

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	37. Chapter 37

**37**.

Brooke eyed Sonny skeptically. The two of them had been on the boat for twenty minutes, but they were nowhere near ready to actually get out on the water. Sonny had a checklist of instructions and he carefully read and checked each box.

"Have you driven this before?" Brooke asked, trying to sound supportive and make the question more like small talk than an interrogation. The boat wasn't terribly large, she estimated sixteen or so feet, but there was plenty of room for them and their cooler. The Staten Island marina teemed with families and couples like them, and, in between scrutinizing her date, she marveled at how it seemed worlds away from Manhattan.

"Couple times. It's my mom's neighbor's and he's takin' care of his sick mother, so boat's all ours."

"A lot of these people probably just stay docked during the show, huh?" Brooke murmured.

"Oh, no," Sonny replied confidently, "They'll go out. Okay. Everything's ready. Got sunset in about an hour. You hungry?"

"Not really," Brooke reclined against the bow's bench seat.

Carisi gazed down at her. "I like your hat."

Brooke borrowed one of Sarah's floppy beach hats for the afternoon and she appreciated the compliment since the headwear was a bit of a fashion risk for her. She played with the ends of her bobbed hair which flipped out and flapped in the breeze. "Thanks."

"Drink?"

"Sure."

"Got a few different beers and some white wine."

"Beer is good."

Sonny held up a large bottle. "Wanna start with this Hefeweizen?"

"Sure."

He split the contents into two plastic cups and garnished them with orange wedges. "Here ya go."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Sonny became nervous all of a sudden, "Sure you're okay doin' this? And skippin' being with your family?"

"I've never been on the water for the Fourth before," Brooke said, "This is where I want to be."

Sonny leaned down and kissed her, smiling into her lips, "Good to hear."

….

Ed got out of the shower and dried off, taking a minute to study himself in the mirror. He was pleased with his reflection—for a guy in his mid-fifties he was fit and muscular, even if he'd almost completely abandoned lifting weights and working out. Every other day or so he made sure to push himself to do as many push-ups and sit-ups as possible, and running around with Noah at the park on a regular basis certainly didn't hurt. Gray hair threatened to overtake his entire head, but remnants of his dark locks lingered, refusing to surrender to time. He hadn't shaved in two days which was unusual and his whiskers poked through his skin; he thought about shaving, but decided against it. The last time his face went a few days without a razor, Olivia seemed to like it.

He towel-dried his hair, put on navy shorts and a red polo, and went to see about Noah. The sun was starting to set, and even though Sarah made sure to reserve their space, he didn't completely trust the building's residents to honor their marked territory. Entering Noah's room, he thought the boy was still asleep, but Noah lazily lifted his head, smiled, and said, "Hi Daddy," in his soft, sleepy toddler voice that melted Ed's heart.

"Hey, No." Ed sat on the edge of the bed, "How's my boy?"

"I good."

"Ready for the fireworks?"

"Uh-huh. The chairs on da roof."

"Yeah, Sarah told me. And she's got the food and everything all ready. You wanna get up or you wanna lay here for a little longer?"

Noah gave Bernie a squeeze, sat up, and rubbed his eyes. "Get up." He inspected Ed's clothes. "You have red shirt."

"Yep." Sarah put Noah down for his nap shirtless. "Whatcha want to wear?"

"Red shirt."

Ed looked around. "Where's the flag shirt you wore to day care?"

"In da box." Noah pointed to his hamper.

Ed got up to inspect it. The shirt was damp, so he rummaged through Noah's bureau and found a red t-shirt and a red polo similar to what he was wearing. He held up both shirts. "Which one?"

Noah pointed to the polo. "Dat one."

"You got it, bud."

Ed dressed Noah in the red polo and khaki shorts with anchors embroidered on them and carried him to the kitchen where Sarah had everything ready to go.

"Alright, let's get up," Ed said.

"Mommy coming?" Noah asked, searching the room for any sign of his mother.

"She's at police, bud," Ed replied, "She's gonna try to get here before the fireworks start."

"We call her on da phone?"

"Sure pal. We'll call her from upstairs, okay?"

"Kay, Daddy." Noah held Ed's neck tightly, "Gotta show Mommy da red shirts. Sare bear have red, Daddy have red, Noah have red. All Tuckers RED! Lessgo!"

…

Rollins and Fin hung out on the chair and sofa in Olivia's office early that evening. So far, the day and night had been incredibly slow, but the three experienced detectives figured the phones could start ringing at any minute, or, at the very least, they would ring late that night. The three of them all had children in their lives and took turns showing photographs—Fin's grandson was at his first beach trip, baby Jesse was toddling everywhere and talking more and more, and Olivia flipped through Noah's soccer action shots.

Rollins peered closely of one of Noah and Ed. "Tucker sure looks proud," she remarked.

"He was, ah, _excited_ that Noah was on a soccer team."

"Did his daughters play sports?"

"No. So, you can imagine."

"Yeah," Rollins replied, "I'll get Jesse into something next spring. Is it too early for her to start swimming lessons? Probably not, right?"

Fin hoisted himself out of the chair, "I'll leave you two moms alone for a while."

Olivia pretended to be offended but then answered Rollins' question, "Not at all. I started Noah's lessons right before he was two. Here," she wrote down the name of Noah's instructor, "They're really good."

"Do I have to get in the pool too?"

"No," Olivia replied with a knowing smile, "That was one of the main reasons I chose them."

"Good deal." Rollins pocketed the information. "Hey, why aren't you home? Aren't you doing fireworks?"

"Ed's on the roof with Sarah and Noah. I'll join them if we don't get a call."

Rollins frowned slightly. It was almost eight o'clock and she didn't understand why the Lieutenant would choose to stay if she didn't have to. The whole point of having a second-in-command was so that she didn't have to constantly be on duty, and Rollins took her insistence on staying personally. She wanted Olivia to trust her.

"Where's Jesse tonight?" Olivia asked, her tone kind and friendly.

"She's with Kim," Rollins took a deep breath, "And my mother."

Concern clouded Olivia's face, "How long has your mom been here?"

"Since the weekend. It's been…okay so far…I've been able to give my nanny some time off, but I almost want her there, ya know?" She forced a laugh.

"I can imagine," Olivia replied, "How's it going, with your sister? Seems to have been quiet?"

"Yeah, she's on her meds and going to school. Makin' good grades. It's been…surprising, to say the least, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely trust her. Like, right now? I wouldn't have left Jesse with just her for the whole night."

"I get it." Suddenly, Olivia felt comforted by Rollins' presence and realized it was nice to have another woman, another mom to talk to, "I've been lucky. Ed's daughters, they're both so good about watching Noah. We're gonna lose Lucy soon."

"She about done with school?"

"Yes. She's not sure what her next steps are, but it won't be long."

"Well, you know, my nanny loves Noah, so, if you're just gonna need someone every once in a while, she might be interested."

"I'll definitely keep that in mind. It would be good to have someone I don't have to vet."

Rollins appreciated Olivia trusting her judgement, at least as far as nannies were concerned. "That _was_ a nerve wracking process."

"No kidding." Olivia saw that is was getting increasingly darker and knew the fireworks would begin within the hour. She closed her laptop decisively. "Know what, I'm gonna go."

"Good. Tell Tucker I said hi."

"Will do."

Olivia gathered her things. "Sergeant Rollins?"

"Lieutenant?"

"I…probably don't say this enough…but, you're doing a great job. I'm glad you got the promotion."

Rollins stifled a broad grin and, instead, offered a casual smile. "Thanks, Lieutenant. Have a good night."

"Call me if need be."

"Of course."

….

On the Tucker rooftop, Noah and Sarah sat side-by-side in the chairs munching on sandwiches and chips while Ed stood nearby chatting with neighbors. The fireworks were still about thirty minutes out, and the building's residents, mostly families, were mingling and getting to know the mostly unfamiliar faces. Typically not one to enjoy much small talk, Tucker found himself engaged in a lively conversation with a man and his wife who were actually retired NYPD detectives and lived just one floor below them.

"We're using this place mostly as just a pied a terre," the man said, "We're in and out a lot. Our kids live in Florida and in Texas."

Ed nodded. "My older girls are here the city," he gestured to Sarah, "and my son, well, he's here with us for a while," he joked, smiling. "No, come here, bud!" Sarah helped Noah climb out of the chair and he scampered over. "Say hello to Mr. Bryant."

"Hi," Noah whispered and hugged Ed's leg.

"How old's he?"

"Three. He'll be four in December. Just finished his first soccer season."

Bryant's eyes widened, impressed, "Wow, that must've been fun!"

"Yeah," Ed said, nudging Noah, "How many goals didja score, bud?"

Noah held up a hand. "Dis many."

"Five? Wow!"

Ed beamed with pride, "Yeah, the rest of this summer, we're gonna throw the football around a little. Maybe the baseball too."

"I frow tighsiral!"

"Tight spiral," Ed translated.

"Nice that you're in CIU," Bryant remarked, "Sure is hard to raise the kids when you're on the job all the time. Least you have some reliable hours."

"Definitely." Ed's displeasure with his new job was fading fast.

"Daddy, I firsty!"

Ed excused himself and went to open the cooler. He bypassed the water and the beer and found a small can of ginger ale he'd put in there specifically for Noah. "Get a straw outta the bag, bud."

Noah practically dove into one of the bags and produced a straw. Ed examined it.

"Hmmm, kinda long. Sare, you have a knife?"

Sarah regarded him with a sarcastic scowl, "A _knife_?"

"Or scissors?"

"Daddy, I really appreciate you assuming I'm that prepared, but, no, I have nothing sharp."

Ed asked his new friend Bryant if he happened to have a knife, and Bryant handed over a corkscrew. Ed sawed the straw in half and handed the soda to Noah.

Bryant raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Good to see…you're not one of 'em too worried about soda."

Ed grinned and looked around, "I'm not. But his mom is. So, that's kinda our little secret."

Bryant offered a conspiratorial smile, "Me and my son? It was McDonald's. To this day, she doesn't know how much we ate there. It was kinda, the after school treat."

Ed thought of the dozens of hot dogs and pretzels he'd purchased for Noah after picking him up from day care, "Yeah, we got a lotta those after school treats goin' on, too."

…..

Carisi steered the boat into the heavily trafficked harbor. They left the marina early, wanting to get a spot in view of the Statue of Liberty. They were about to drop anchor when a coast guard boat approached and explained they weren't allowed in that particular area and directed them to another nearby vicinity.

Anchored, Carisi opened the food, using the cooler as a table. "Got pasta, of course, and some meatballs, I made 'em smaller, they're still warm. And…for dessert, tiramisu. I didn't make that," he admitted.

"Looks and smells great," Brooke said, "This is really, really nice Sonny. Thank you."

Carisi stopped what he was doing and sat on the cooler, directly across from Brooke. "You say thank you a lot," he teased.

"Well, I was brought up right," Brooke retorted.

"I should be thanking _you_."

Brooke screwed up her face, genuinely confused. "Why's that?"

"I know, at the beginning, I was, I really wanted to be with you, but, I know you thought and Sarah thought and probably Lieu thought I had somethin' goin' on with Rollins. I get caught, a lot actually, trying to be there for everybody. But, Brooke, lately? I wanna be with you. I don't even wanna work. The whole time I'm there, I'm thinkin' about we're we're gonna have for dinner and where we're goin' for drinks and what movie we're gonna watch."

Brooke thought she saw Sonny start to get down on one knee and she reached out to him and grabbed his shoulders. "I…I should probably say something."

"Go ahead."

"I'm…I'm sorry." Carisi obviously wasn't expecting an apology, so Brooke quickly continued. "I've been, um, kind of ignoring you. Because I'm nervous. A little scared. I've never been in this deep before."

"Ignoring me?"

"About the living together. And…you saying you're falling in love with me. I haven't really responded, and it's not because I don't feel the same way, it's just…this is very new for me."

"Hey," Sonny reached out and cupped her face, "I don't want you to do or say anything you're not ready for and I don't want to pressure you…but…I don't want to keep everything bottled up either. I _am_ falling in love with you. Every day. I _would_ like to live with you. But…it's your call. I'll wait until you're comfortable. And…in the meantime…we're here, with this great view….and just us. So," He touched his glass to hers, "Enjoy. Cheers."

"Cheers."

Sonny kissed her and grinned as he pulled away. "I really do love that hat on you."

"It's Sarah's."

"I know. That's why I said _on you_."

….

"Should be starting any minute," Sarah remarked as she refilled her wine glass. "Noey, wanna sit with me?"

"Okay." Brownie crumbs clung to Noah's mouth and Sarah wiped them with a paper towel before helping Noah into her lap.

"When they start I'll hold ya like a baby so you can see!" Sarah tipped him back as if he were an infant and Noah giggled.

Ed looked on, thinking of the talks he and Olivia had had in the past week. The idea of a baby, a biological child with Olivia, still existed as a nagging thought in the back of his mind, and Sarah unknowingly brought it back to the forefront. At the same time, he kicked himself for being so glib about his first two children—when his ex-wife was pregnant, the impending children only made him work harder and longer to ensure they were financially stable. He hadn't been emotionally _into_ those pregnancies or those first years. Part of the reason why he wanted another baby was to prove that he could do it better the second time around, but, that was selfish, and he was definitely redeeming himself with Noah.

Sarah tipped Noah so he was almost upside down and had a view of the entire rooftop. He was the first one to see Olivia.

"MOMMY!"

He scrambled to get to his feet and ran to her. She'd already changed into casual clothing and her entire aura oozed with love as she took Noah into her arms. "Hi sweet boy!"

He allowed his mother to hug him and then leaned back to look at her face. "We waited for you to start fireworks," he declared, his eyes wide and serious.

"Thank you, sweet boy," she cooed back at him and kissed his forehead, "I didn't want to miss the fireworks with you!"

"Daddy and Sarah over dare," he twisted his body and pointed to the two other Tuckers. Ed pulled another chair from its sleeve and set it up next to his.

In the distance, a pop echoed and the first of the collective oohs and ahhs resonated among the crowd. Olivia hurried to take her seat and Noah reclined against her.

Ed leaned over for a kiss. "You made it."

"I did."

"Wanna drink?"

"In a minute."

"Let me know." Ed reached for her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers as he tipped his head back and settled in to enjoy the show.

…..

The show came to a close with an impressive finale blazing with red, white, and blue skyrockets. Noah could hardly contain himself and Sarah videoed some of it and sent it to Brooke with the message, _feel free to send your own vid, if, you two still have clothes on_. Brooke quickly responded with a selfie in which both she and Carisi were rolling their eyes.

Having had a late nap and wound up from the fireworks, Noah showed no signs of fatigue and objected to changing into his pajamas after they returned to the apartment.

"Not tired." He stomped his foot indignantly. "Sare bear, play hide seek!" He disappeared into his bedroom and when he realized nobody followed, he shouted, "I under da bed! Find me!"

"Noey! I'm going home! Come give hugs and kisses!" Sarah called back.

Except for the sounds of Olivia and Ed stowing the leftovers, Sarah's request was met with silence.

"Oh fine," she grumbled. In Noah's room she laid down on her stomach and peeked at Noah. "Found ya!"

"You winned! Now. You hide, Sare bear!"

"I gotta go home Noey. It's late and I have to work tomorrow."

"You work at p'lice?"

Sarah laughed, "No. Not all Tuckers work at police. I work at accounting."

Noah screwed up his face at the word "accounting."

"I count all day." She clarified.

"Wiff Oreos?"

"Nope, well, right now, with Euros."

Another confused expression.

"Okay, yes, with Oreos. You should stop by sometime."

"I go to see da big kids!"

"No kids at my office. Just a bunch of adults in suits and ties."

"I have ties."

"I know. Okay. I haveta go. Are you staying under there or are you gonna come out and give me a hug?"

"I stay here."

Sarah blew him kisses. "Alright. Adios, amigo!"

"Adios!"

Sarah sauntered back into the kitchen and grabbed her purse. "Good luck with that," she jerked her neck towards Noah's bedroom. "See ya later."

Ed and Olivia thanked Sarah for helping with Noah and the fireworks set-up and she left, leaving them to wrangle their uncooperative, wide-awake son. He was still under the bed when they went to check on him, but he'd found the iPad and was working with his drawing app. He'd set up a black canvas and was concentrating on adding multicolored streaks. The dim light illuminated his face and Olivia almost lost her motherly resolve.

Ed read her mind, "You can't make him go to bed now," he whispered, crouching down and smiling sweetly at the cherubic face. "He's drawing the fireworks."

"Noah?"

He briefly looked up, "I drawin."

"I see. Finish your picture and then we'll read stories."

"Kay Mommy."

"Do you want to draw out in the living room on your beanbag instead of under the bed?"

"Uh-uh."

"Daddy and I will be out there. Ten more minutes."

Ed tugged at her belt loops as they walked stride-for-stride into the living room. He nuzzled the back of her neck and murmured, "Ten minutes. What to do in ten minutes?" He reached for the dimmer on the wall, turned the lights down low, and turned his wife around.

He swayed her in the space between the sofa and the dining table. When he wasn't kissing her he was whispering in her ear, telling her how much he loved her, how lucky he was to be married to her, how he would do anything for her and for Noah.

Olivia soaked up the love and returned the compliments, deepened a few kisses, but, eventually had to pry herself from his arms.

"Noah," she reminded him.

They both predicted he'd still be stubbornly planted under the bed with the iPad and they did find him in the same place with the device, but, he'd fetched Bernie and was now sound asleep, using the bear for a pillow.

Ed flattened himself against the carpet and strained to reach his son. He managed to pinch his shirt sleeve and slide him a few inches to get a grip on his arm. Noah whimpered a bit and did nothing to help Ed extract him from his little den.

"C'mon, bud." Finally, Ed lifted him out and Olivia deftly removed his shirt and shorts and replaced them with pajamas. They placed him under the covers and made sure he had Bernie.

"Night, sweet Noah." Olivia said, kissing him on the cheek.

"I drawed fireworks," Noah mumbled faintly.

"I know, sweet boy. Night night. We love you."

He smacked his lips and rolled over on his side. "Luvvyou."

Olivia spun around and turned to leave, but Ed wrapped his arms around her and fixed his eyes on Noah. "Stay here for a minute," he requested softly, nuzzling her neck again. "I never wanna forget this."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	38. Chapter 38

**38**.

 **Skipping a few weeks ahead. Late July, 2017.**

… **.**

"Sure they're not home?'

Rain so violently pelted the windows of the Tucker apartment that Sarah strained to make out her date's words.

"They're gone. In Wyoming. Far, far, away," she purred as she kicked off her heels and tugged him to her by the collar. "Stop worrying." She planted a firm kiss on his lips. "And follow me." She pranced into the kitchen and flipped on the under-cabinet lighting, just enough illumination for her to inspect the wine rack and choose a bottle.

"You seem to know your way around," he remarked.

"I sure do. How about this?"

"Looks good," he replied, barely examining the label.

She fumbled with the corkscrew. It slipped out of her grasp several times before he took it from her and deftly uncorked the bottle. She grinned, grabbed two glasses, and gestured for him to pour.

"This is a great place," he said.

"It is," Sarah agreed wholeheartedly, "But, just don't go into the bedroom down the hall to the right. My brother's. Might ruin the mood. Speaking of," she bit her lip and scanned the room, "Hang on a sec."

Finding the remote for the speakers, she flipped on the power and hooked up her phone. "Jazz?" she asked.

"Sure."

"Come over here." She was in front of the window now, the Manhattan skyline barely visible through the low-lying clouds.

He complied and walked over, drinks in hand. Sarah took a long gulp, put the glass down, and drew closer to his torso. "Whatcha want to do?"

He looked down at her seductively. "I think you know what I want to do."

…

Ed steered the small SUV into the parking spot at their Jackson, Wyoming resort hotel. Dusk settled upon them and he, Noah, and Olivia were all exhausted after their final day out west. Each day of the trip began with an early morning departure and several short but at times grueling hikes and today was no different.

"This has been amazing," Ed said, "But, next trip? We're going on a cruise."

"Agreed." Olivia said. They certainly saw some of nature's most beautiful sights, but this trip had definitely confirmed two things. One, she was a city person and two, vacation needed to involve hot weather, lounging, and down time. They'd been constantly on the go for each of their five days. Even when they arrived at the hotel early, Noah, restless from the long car rides, wanted to play in the pool or on the resort's playground. His parents, of course, indulged him. However, today he seemed as tired as the adults. "But," she added brightly, "We have some amazing pictures."

He leaned across the console for a kiss, "Yeah we do." Glancing back at a drowsy Noah, he said, "You want to order in tonight or go out?"

"How about we rest a little and then go out? Wander around town a bit?"

"Sounds good."

Ed got out and immediately opened the back door to get Noah. Olivia watched as he expertly unbuckled the straps and lifted the little boy into his arms. Noah practically glued himself to Ed's chest and sighed contentedly.

"There ya go, bud," Ed said softly, "We're gonna take a little nap, kay?"

"Kay."

"You have fun today?"

"See da moose."

"Yeah we did."

"We go to pool, Daddy?"

"Maybe later pal. Let's sleep first. We don't wanna fall asleep in the water."

The thought of sleeping in the pool caused Noah to giggle softly, but he said no more words. By the time they got to their one-bedroom suite, he was sound asleep. Ed put him in their king-sized bed, and Olivia screwed up her face, wondering where _they_ were going to nap.

"Let's go out on the balcony," Ed whispered, reading her mind. "Grab a blanket."

They settled in on a lounge, wrapped in the large fleece blanket and each other, and gazed out at the snow-capped Tetons in the distance. Olivia snuggled into Ed's chest and let out a contented moan.

"This feels good."

"That's for sure," he replied, "Olivia Benson in my arms."

" _Tucker_."

"Huh?"

"It's Olivia Tucker."

"Oh, yeah, of course, it's just…I think back…a lot actually, I don't know why, about you and me and everyone else, and God, Liv, it's, like, what are the chances?"

She laughed warmly. "Low."

"Seriously, what would you have said if I asked you out earlier?"

"How much earlier?"

"At first. Way, way back."

"Weren't you married then?"

Ed clicked his tongue at his mistake, "Yeah, well, okay, what about around the time Rollins shot that guy?"

Olivia rifled through her memory. "I probably would've laughed."

" _Ouch_."

"Seriously, Ed?" Olivia twisted her body to get a look at him, "I know…I know you're trying to make this happen before it did, but there's no way. I was…I was with someone else. And before then, things were so, _hostile_ , it never would've happened."

"Remember…remember when I was trying to get Cassidy to go undercover?"

"Sure," Olivia said brightly, about to deliver a playful barb about Tucker putting Cassidy in a precarious situation, but she resisted the urge.

"And you walked me out?"

"Yes."

"I almost…right there…I almost told you."

"Told you what?"

"That _I_ wanted you. That he was nowhere near good enough for you. And when I called him your boyfriend, I wanted you to correct me, say that wasn't the case."

She couldn't help but tease him now. "Is that why you tried to have him killed?" She grinned, hoping he wouldn't be upset with her joke.

His cheeks reddened, "Aw, c'mon."

"Thinking about it," Olivia mused whimsically, "I guess, if you told me you wanted me that badly I would've gone out with you. Just once. To save a life at the very least."

Ed was laughing now. "Okay, okay."

Olivia rubbed his earlobe between her thumb and forefinger. "But, you know what I _do_ remember…about that year?"

What's that?" Ed tilted his face into her hand.

"How you tried to help me."

"You thought I was trying to set you up."

"I was…but then…when we came in to IAB that night before you gave the DA your report? The way you looked at me."

"If it woulda just been the two of us, I would've taken you home."

Amusement filled Olivia's eyes. "Oh yeah?"

"And held you the whole night."

"That would've been nice. Impossible. But nice."

"There was a connection there."

"I don't know about that, but something changed." Olivia put her head back on Ed's chest, content to let him travel down memory lane some more. He seemed to be struggling, still, with lost time, and she appreciated him talking about it even if the process was mired in futility.

"That fall," Ed continued, "With Amaro. _Again_. God, Liv, you've had some _partners."_

She scoffed. "Yeah."

"When I saw you, all business, _God_ , that was disappointing."

"You were an ass that morning. _That_ was disappointing."

"But I redeemed myself later."

"Why'd you do that?"

"Because you were right."

Olivia smiled, remembering how she'd done a spectacular job of making IAB think Amaro's reinstatement was their idea. "Ahhh."

"But you agreed to have a drink with me."

"I did." After Amaro returned, Tucker brought paperwork to Benson's office for her to read and sign and caught her on the way out. She was headed home to Noah, but he convinced her to have a quick drink, to, in his mind, bury the hatchet. She agreed, but the conversation was all NYPD and she refused to allow him to pay for her wine. The next time, though, when he suggested the bourbon, was different.

Ed kissed the top of her head. "You think we'll tell Noah about all this?"

"Probably, at some point, in bits and pieces." Olivia thought about the two parts of Noah's life and how if it weren't for Judge Linden's surprise decision, _his_ trajectory would have been completely different. "Just like…he'll have to know _his_ history at some point."

"Have you thought much about that?"

"I have. And then I stopped. It was making me crazy, so, we'll just let him lead the way when that time comes."

"Okay." He brushed her hair back, "Hey, come here. I wanna kiss you."

"Sure." Olivia slid her body seductively along his. She was mostly lying on top of him and just barely touching his lips. "I wanna kiss you, too."

Ed's hands drifted from her upper back to her waist as they locked lips. He circled her midsection with his fingertips until they found the button and zipper and he grinned as he felt her lift up a bit, helping him undo her pants. He shoved them as low as he could reach and she shimmied out of them.

"Are we really doing this out here?" She asked, making sure the blanket was still fully covering them and feeling him harden against her.

"I want to…" Ed broke away from her and took a quick look around, "Nobody can see us."

Indeed, the balcony was almost totally enclosed and there was only forest and mountain in the immediate vicinity.

"Okay," Olivia whispered. She fully straddled him and noticed their reflection in the glass sliding door, "Mmmmm," she moaned, kissing him again.

They worked in tandem to rid him of his pants and underwear. She settled on top and he dug his fingers into her hips, not minding this position as long as he had some control over the pace.

"God, Liv."

"This okay?"

He moved a little and a burst of cool air entered their little cocoon making them both gasp with pleasure. Ed couldn't answer. He threw his head back against the cushions and started meeting her body with more force and fighting the impulse to flip them. Another rush of cool air filtered in, heightening both their senses. Olivia put her hands on his chest so she could be more upright, wanting to see their reflection again.

" _Oh my God, Ed_."

By now, after making love to her who knows how many times, Ed knew her _Oh Gods_ and every other moan, whimper, and scream. This was not, _Oh my God Ed that feels so good keep going_. This was _Oh my God Ed something's wrong_.

He stilled. "What is it?"

She fell on top of him. "Noah."

"Where?"

"In _there_. Awake. Jumping on the bed."

"He see us?"

"I don't know." Olivia groaned as she dismounted and surreptitiously pulled on her clothes. She stood up and draped the blanket over Ed's naked lower body and raised her eyebrows at him shaking in silent laughter.

"I assume we'll be leaving this little story out of the Noah Tucker history?" He quipped.

"Um, yeah." Olivia tilted her head. "I don't think he saw us, or he'd be out here by now."

"I'm surprised it hasn't happened before."

"Me too."

"I'm gonna need a shower."

"So am I. You go first."

"Or, we can hit the pool first?"

Olivia slid open the door and grinned at Noah before poking her head back outside, "You may want to shower, Captain." She suggested, still feeling pangs of arousal that would have to go unsatisfied for now.

Ed splayed his arms out wide and gazed at her lazily. "Nah. I'll be fine."

"Okay," Olivia replied doubtfully.

"As long as…we'll pick this up tonight, right?"

"Sure." Olivia winked, took a deep breath, and went to see about her son.

…

Carisi couldn't help laughing. Brooke was a terrible bowler. There was no hiding it, and she was a good sport about the friendly ribbing. For the first few frames he attempted to coach her, but seeing that it was useless, ordered more beer and amused himself by watching how intently Brooke tried to roll the ball down the center of the lane.

"There ya go!" He shouted encouragingly when she knocked down five pins, "You can pick up the spare here."

She cast a quick, doubtful, glance back at him while she waited for her ball to return.

"Tell ya what," he said, "Spare gets ya…a kiss."

"And if I don't get the spare?" Brooke sassed.

Carisi shrugged, "Still get the kiss. Not as intense though. A peck."

"Okay then." Brooke grabbed the ball, took a few steps, and flung it down the alley without aiming. It looked headed for the gutter but then straightened out, hit the pins just right, and…spare.

Overcome with a sense of accomplishment, Brooke grinned from ear to ear and rushed over to Sonny for her kiss which he happily provided.

"Aha! We found your strategy…and that is to not have one!"

"I guess so," she replied and took a seat in his lap. "So…what do you have in mind for tonight? It's our last night without Sarah."

"Lieu and Tucker coming home tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Late. I think…midnightish."

"It's been good this week, just the two of us in the apartment, right?"

Brooke wrapped her arms around Sonny's neck and kissed his forehead. "It has been…but…I'm still not there yet."

"No pressure, like I said, but, I'm glad we had this opportunity. To see."

"Me too."

"Now," Sonny rose and gently guided Brooke to her feet, "Let's see what I can do. Tenth frame. Three strikes. Here we go."

"Three strikes?" Brooke mused, "You're getting more than a kiss if you make that happen."

Sonny's face turned red, "Aw, man…do I go with my regular form or take a page outta the Brooke Tucker playbook and just chuck it…"

"I'd stick with what ya know," Brooke replied and watched in amazement as Sonny nodded and proceeded to back up his trash talk by rolling three strikes in a row.

….

The next morning Sarah rolled over, opened her eyes, and, before she got her bearings and remembered last night, was momentarily startled at the man sleeping soundly next to her.

 _Time, time, what time is it?_ She rolled over again in the opposite direction and squinted at her Dad's digital clock.

" _Hey_." She nudged him gently and once more, this time with more force. "I have to go to work. And…you can't stay here."

He mumbled something and then woke with a start, like Sarah, a little fuzzy from the previous night. "I'm up. I'll get outta here."

Sarah had already been in and out of the bathroom and had started the shower. She tossed him his clothes a little too aggressively and his belt, still looped around his pants, flapped against the headboard.

"Oh fuck."

She rushed over to inspect the spot where the buckle collided with the mahogany.

"Shit."

"What?"

"There's a ding in the wood. _Fuck_."

He, too, assessed the damage. "You can hardly notice it. Just a scrape. If we come back here tonight I can bring something to cover it up. Will look just like new."

Sarah frowned at his presumptuousness, but she _was_ planning to invite him over for a final night. "Fine," she muttered, "But Olivia and my Dad are going to be back tomorrow night, so we have to make this place look exactly like it did when we came here."

"Of course," he said, "It's Saturday anyway. We'll have time."

"Okay. I have to _move_. I'll see you later."

Sarah retreated to the shower. Standing in front of another couple's full-length mirror, her date pulled on his black dress pants and tucked in his crisp white dress shirt. Satisfied with his appearance, he shoved his tie in his pocket and found his socks and shoes. After a final scan to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, he departed.

…..

The flight attendants immediately fell in love with Noah. Ed and Olivia booked first class seats, and he climbed into his gigantic chair and expertly handled the seatbelt, needing Ed's assistance only to securely click the buckle. He leaned over and requested his headphones from Olivia, and she passed him the child-sized set. Noah had no problem plugging the cord into the iPad.

"Well, this one's traveled before," one attendant remarked with a smile.

Ed's face shone with pride, "Yeah he has. Went to Paris last year."

"Well. Welcome aboard. What can I get you to drink, young man?"

Noah glanced at Ed.

"He'll have an apple juice. And, I'll have whatever whiskey you have and a ginger ale."

"Want it mixed?"

"No, bring the soda separate, please."

Olivia ordered her wine. Ed hated that she was across the aisle, but first class seats were arranged in pairs and Ed refused to book anything in coach. If Noah fell asleep, they could consolidate.

The drinks arrived promptly and Ed and Olivia toasted with their plastic cups. Ed simpered sweetly at her, leaned across the aisle, and they connected for a brief kiss. Returning to his seat, he picked up his phone and sent Olivia a text.

 _Wish we had a balcony at home…_

At the thought of last night's successful second attempt at balcony sex, Olivia became flushed. Her reaction amused Ed and he continued the torture-by-phone.

 _You're a little red, Lieutenant_.

Ed chuckled at the eye roll he received in response.

 _Maybe, the roof at home sometime?_

Olivia held up her phone so Ed could see her set it to airplane mode. They were beginning to taxi anyway, so Ed didn't protest and instead used the dimmed lighting to sneak a few ginger ale sips to Noah.

In the air, Noah busied himself with his drawing app, but he had created and saved so many pictures that the iPad sent him continual warnings that storage was getting low.

"Daddy," he lifted the iPad as close to Ed's face as he could reach.

Ed read the message. "Oh," he hit _ok_ and handed it back only to have Noah repeat "Daddy" and show him the message again. Ed turned to his wife who was happily flipping through a magazine. "Liv, do you know how to fix this?"

She glanced peripherally, "his pictures need to be transferred to the cloud."

"How do I do that?"

"Need wifi."

Ed shifted in his seat and pulled his wallet from his back pocket.

Olivia reminded him of their layover. "They'll have wifi in Denver."

"He needs it now," Ed took the iPad from Noah and navigated the wifi payment process. Once connected, the message permanently disappeared. "There, bud. Here ya go."

Noah impatiently took the device back and murmured, "Thank you."

Ed rustled his hair, "You're welcome." Satisfied and smirking, he sat back in his chair and sipped his whiskey, knowing Olivia was eyeing him with an incredulous but extremely affectionate expression.

Noah concentrated on his artwork with pursed lips and when Ed engaged him in conversation, he replied but his eyes did not leave his work in progress.

"That's a great picture, bud."

"It da mountains."

"Yeah. Didja like the mountains?"

"Uh-huh! And da moose. And da…whass dat ovver one?"

"Bison? It was brown?"

"Uh-huh. And da big water!"

He meant Old Faithful.

Noah's chatter increased as he recalled other sights, and Ed realized that even though he and Olivia would not have considered this the best trip they had ever taken, their little boy had soaked up every minute.

"What else, pal?" Ed prompted after he fell silent.

"We climb high! And da people look little!"

Ed took out his phone and began recording video.

"And it snowy up dare but down here," he pointed to a section of his drawing, "It warm!"

"You gonna draw the hotel?"

"Uh-huh! Da slides and pool! I jump! And splash!"

"Really fun, pal."

"I jump on da bed, too!"

Olivia heard this and swatted Ed's arm.

"Oh yeah? I didn't see ya jump on the bed."

"Nope!" Noah exclaimed cheerfully and, with a flourish, put a finishing touch on his drawing. "I watch Bob." Noah put on his headphones and navigated to _Minions_. Ed put up the armrest so Noah could lean against him while he watched. Ed tilted his head back to Olivia who was desperate to know whether or not Noah had actually seen anything X-rated on the balcony.

"We're good," he rasped.

Relieved, Olivia sighed, tousled Ed's short hair, and went back to her reading.

…

The taxi carrying the Tuckers came to a stop in front of their building later that night. Mostly due to the time change, Noah was not yet asleep, so Ed and Olivia could easily make one trip upstairs.

"Goddamn," Ed muttered, wiping his brow as he hoisted the second suitcase from the trunk, "It's humid as hell." He thought Noah was out of earshot, but he cringed when he heard his son's little voice.

"Damn," he cooed, too sweetly for the word.

"Noah," Olivia corrected him softly, "Little boys don't say that word. It's an adult word."

"Sorry, bud. Shouldnta said that. Bad Daddy."

"Timeout for Daddy!" Noah announced cheerfully.

"Yeah, Mommy'll put me in timeout."

"Brookey in timeout too!"

"Oh yeah?" Ed asked curiously.

"Uh-huh. Brookey say DAMN at da beach."

"Well, the next time we see her, we'll put her in timeout, too."

"Kay!" Noah giggled at the thought of both his sister and his Daddy getting punished.

After a two-minute search for their keys, Ed unlocked and pushed open the door, but he immediately held out his arm, barring Olivia and Noah from entering. Too many lights were on.

"Stay out in the hall," Ed said, wishing he had his weapon.

Olivia didn't speak but her expression demanded answers.

"Someone's in there."

"It's probably one of the girls," Olivia said. Of course, they both knew Sarah and Brooke had their apartment keys, but there had been no discussion of either of the girls coming over to their apartment for any reason.

"Maybe. But, stay here."

"Okay."

"Mommy?"

"Hang on, sweet boy. Daddy's checking something." She patted Noah's head reassuringly, "It's ok."

Ed stepped gingerly through the foyer. The living room and kitchen were empty. Next, he inspected the office and found Sarah splayed out on the old brown leather couch. A blanket covered her, but Ed could tell she wasn't wearing much else.

" _Daddy_ ," she gasped.

"Hi," Ed said inquisitively.

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

"No," Sarah sat up, holding the blanket to her and looking past Ed, "Why are you back today?"

"Today's when we planned to be back. What are you—" Ed heard footsteps behind him and assumed it was Olivia, so his face hardened when he heard a male's voice followed by the visage of Sarah's barely-clothed guest.

"What the hell?" Ed muttered.

"Ed? Ed? Is everything okay?" Olivia grew impatient with Ed's inspection and entered despite his instructions.

"Daddy!" Noah trotted in.

"Daddy," Sarah said, "Calm down."

Both he and Olivia stopped in their tracks at the sight of Sarah wearing the blanket as a toga and Ed and her date standing inches apart, face-to-face.

Olivia dropped the bags she was carrying. She knew the look on her husband's face.

" _Ed_ ," she implored, stepping between them.

"Hi Sare bear," Noah greeted his sister happily, oblivious to the tension in the room.

She responded with her typical "hi, Noey," but gaped, slack-jawed, at the scene in front of her, trying to figure out what to say.

…

 **#Tuckson**


	39. Chapter 39

**39**.

A week after Sarah's inattention to detail and lack of respect for others' property caused Ed to tell her and her sort-of boyfriend to get the hell out of his house, Olivia insisted she and Ed host a dinner in order to bury the hatchet and get the Tucker family back on track. After hurriedly dressing and fleeing her father's wrath, Sarah texted the next day with an apology, but she made the mistake of adding heart and smiley-face emojis which Ed took to mean she had zero remorse and zero recognition for how out of bounds she'd been. They hadn't seen Brooke nor Sarah since the run-in. Ed assumed Brooke was also complicit since Sarah out of their apartment gave her free rein to, as he put it, "run around naked with Carisi all day."

"He was working," Olivia deadpanned, trying to get him to lighten up. However, Ed was unflappable in his angry, cranky mood. She let him stew for the week, but when Friday night rolled around and he was still irritable, she put her foot down.

"We're inviting Sarah and Brooke over for dinner tomorrow, and we're going to _talk_."

"Talk about what?" Ed snapped. "We shouldn't have to talk with two women in their twenties to explain to them that someone else's apartment is not theirs for the taking."

"Ed, big picture? It's a small problem. But, we can't let it turn into a huge issue. Do you really want to shut Sarah and, by extension, Brooke out forever?"

"Of course not."

"Well, there'll be this tension until we clear it up. Let's be the bigger people and invite them over."

"Whose side are you on?"

Taken aback by the edginess directed at her, Olivia frowned. "Yours. Always. But if we… _we_ …let this fester, it'll get worse. C'mon," she sat next to him and patted his thigh. "Let's fix this."

Ed slowly turned to her. His jaw was still set, but his eyes softened slightly. "Fine."

"Good. I'll let them know."

"Alright."

He grabbed her waistband when she got up and tugged her back down and into his lap. Olivia laughed, but Ed was serious and nearly inhibited her breathing with his embrace. "How did I ever live without you?"

…..

At Ed's mother's house, a framed cross-stitch print gifted to Caroline years ago hung on the wall in the front hallway near the coat closet. On it were simplistic faces meant to represent each of Caroline's offspring and grandchildren and at the bottom were the words _all my blessings_. Ed thought of that piece of wall art now as Noah entertained everyone with his antics. First, he showed off his tumbling (swimming lessons were on hiatus, so Olivia enrolled him in a preschool gymnastics class), then he sang a song he'd learned that week at day care, and, finally, he sat down between Sarah and Brooke and flipped through his entire catalog of iPad drawings which took up the entire space of time between dinner preparation and dinner actually being served. Thanks to Noah, the tension in the room had nearly dissipated when everyone took their places at the table.

"Everything looks great guys," Brooke remarked.

Not even Ed, the most reluctant Tucker, could disagree. At Olivia's urging, they decided to attempt to cook a fancier meal than usual. After clicking through a few online cookbooks, they settled on braised short ribs with garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, and baguette slices perfect for soaking up the juices from the tender meat.

"Thank you," Olivia replied, "It was definitely a team effort." She reached over and patted the top of Ed's hand and he smiled sweetly.

"Sure was."

Ed sat at the head of the table with Olivia on his right side and Noah on the left. Sarah was next to Noah and Brooke next to Olivia. The table was too large to use the entire length for just the five of them, and Olivia was glad to be situated so the meal didn't look like an interrogation.

"Okay, everyone, dig in." Olivia loaded her plate and passed the dishes to the others while Ed took an unnecessarily long time cutting Noah's meat and green beans. She sipped her wine before taking a bite of anything.

"What dis?" Noah eyed his plate skeptically.

"Meat and potatoes, bud," Ed told him, "Meal of champions. Make ya strong."

Noah took a tiny bite of the potatoes. "Mmmmm. They good."

"Told ya. Try everything at least once."

"Kay. You try too!"

"Sure will."

Both Sarah and Brooke raved about the food and did not hide their surprise that the meal had actually been prepared in their kitchen and not from a local restaurant.

"Are you sure we're not gonna find any take out bags around here?" Sarah asked.

Ed was quick to reply. "If there are any, I'm sure you'll be the one to find them."

" _Daddy_."

It turned out to be the perfect segue into more serious matters. Noting both Ed and Olivia were looking at her expectantly, Sarah launched into the apology she'd planned in anticipation for this very moment.

"Daddy, Livvie, I'm sorry. I'm _really_ sorry. I…I was being selfish and not thinking. I have a bunch of excuses, but they don't matter. I promise you it won't happen again. And I'll give you your key back. I understand if you don't trust me with it."

Olivia glanced at Ed who looked back at her, hoping she'd take over from here.

"Sarah, we do trust you," Olivia began, "We trust you with our key and with Noah and everything else. We were incredibly disappointed, though, in being blindsided like that. And also that you invited someone in here who is a complete stranger to us. Even if…even if you would've called us and asked if you could stay here, that would've been easier to stomach than coming home to what we came home to."

"It won't happen again," Sarah repeated.

Ed busied himself with his food and with helping Noah navigate his plate without spilling too much on the floor or on himself. He was generally a neat eater for a three-year-old, but the saucy main dish proved challenging.

"Here, pal." Ed handed him a piece of baguette, "Use this to soak up some sauce."

Noah followed instructions and popped the bread in his mouth.

"Like it?"

"Uh-huh!" He exclaimed and reached for another piece of bread.

Finally, Ed turned his attention back to the women in his life. "Who's the guy?"

Olivia, Sarah, and Brooke exchanged amused glances. They all thought the next words out of Ed's mouth would something to reinforce what Olivia had just said.

"His name's Isaac," Sarah said. "I met him…at Noah's day care actually."

"New boyfriend?"

"I don't know."

"Looked like a new boyfriend." Ed took a bite and then a sip of his wine, intent on not letting Sarah off this hook.

"We're, _new_."

"What's that mean?"

"It means we're figuring things out."

"Looked like you had a lot figured out already."

Sarah desperately looked to Brooke for help. "They're casual," Brooke tried explaining, "He's in law school. Sarah's busy. It's not a good time for either of them to start something serious."

"Having sex in our house isn't serious?" Ed took another bite, swallowed, realized the crowd thought his question was rhetorical, and continued in a teasing, albeit biting tone, "I mean, I've had sex here I dunno how many times and I still think it's serious."

Everyone except for Noah strained to avoid spitting out their food. Sarah coughed and reached for water. Brooke sat back and fanned herself. Olivia managed to swallow and then burst into laughter.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod."

"Dad… _Jesus Christ_ ," Brooke murmured.

"Deezus Kist!" Noah exclaimed.

Somehow, Ed managed to remain stoic. "Alright," he said, "No more adult language around the lad," he said authoritatively. "No more adult language around our son. No more breaking into our apartment for casual sex. No more using our key for anything other than what you're _supposed_ to use it for. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Got it."

Olivia got Noah's attention. "Sweet boy, we don't say Jesus Christ either." She screwed up her face, "At least, not the way Brookey said it." Olivia was thankful he didn't seem to pick up on the sex talk.

"Brookey go to timeout," Noah stated seriously. "Brookey say—"

"NOAH!"

Sarah tickled him. "You're sending people to timeout now, Noey Boey?"

"Uh-huh!" He exclaimed, giggling. "You go to timeout, Sare bear!"

"Who else has to go to timeout?"

"Daddy!"

" _Daddy_?" Sarah asked in disbelief. " _Daaaaaddy_?"

"Uh-huh! Daddy say bad word!"

"Well, we're all awful people," Sarah concluded. "Except, of course, for Livvie."

"Yep!" Noah said cheerfully, "Mommy good."

…..

Ed tied the trash bag and grabbed the empty wine bottles. "I'll be right back."

Olivia looked up from the sink where she was rinsing dishes. "Okay."

From the living room sofa she heard the bloopity-bloop of Noah's iPad game; she was glad tomorrow was Sunday and he could sleep in. It had been difficult getting him back on east coast time and he was up late again. She heard Ed return and contentment flooded her emotions. When he was once again at her side, she put the plate she was holding on the counter and kissed him.

"Thank you for taking out the trash."

"Mmmmm," he hummed with his eyes still closed, "Is there…anything I missed? Bathroom trash need takin' out? Office?"

"Nope. I think we're good."

Pretending to be crestfallen, Ed sauntered to the table and brought the rest of the dishes.

"Thank you," Olivia cooed and gave him another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too Olivia Margaret." Ed slipped his arms around her waist, "Know what?"

"What?"

"I used to think…a long time ago when I was young and dumb, that people could say 'I love you' too much. Like it diluted the meaning."

"And now?"

"I couldnta been more wrong."

Olivia grinned and leaned in and pressed her lips to his once again, lingering this time, waiting for him to take over, but he pulled back.

"And I couldnta been more wrong about tonight."

"I wasn't sure what to expect either."

"But it turned out fine."

"It did. We got our point across…without an argument and…Brooke and Sarah get it. They both feel bad."

"Brooke too?"

"Yeah. While you and Sarah were playing with Noah, Brooke told me she felt bad about not saying anything. And… _you_ were right. She was so interested in seeing how it would be to, well, live with Carisi that she didn't think about anything else."

Ed shrugged. "I guess I can't blame her."

"Yeah?"

"She's been lookin' out for Sarah, protecting her, forever. She doesn't get much of a chance to really be alone. Even when Sarah lived in Philly she and Brooke spoke practically every day."

"I get it."

"So," Ed asked hesitantly, "How'd that whole thing go…with her and Carisi?"

"She said it was good, but she's not ready yet."

"Hope she's really not ready and not just worried about leaving her sister."

Olivia pressed her lips together and raised her eyebrows. "She'll have to work through that, but it sounded to me like she genuinely wasn't ready to take that step."

Ed thought about how anxious he was about proposing they move in together. "It's a big step." He moved closer to her so more parts of their bodies than not were touching.

"It is."

He tipped her chin up to meet his lips and they fell into the kiss Olivia thought was coming a minute ago. Ed threaded his fingers through the hair on the back of her head and worked his tongue deep into her mouth. His other hand migrated from her waist to her backside and he pressed her pelvis to his, careful not to go too far; he was cognizant of Noah.

"God Liv," he rasped breathlessly.

"I know," she murmured.

Ed peered over her shoulder at the microwave clock. "It's almost eleven."

Olivia created more distance between them and called to Noah. "C'mon, sweet boy. Time to get ready for bed."

"Not tired."

"Time to read books. Let's go pick them out."

"Read in da big chair?"

"Sure. The three of us will read in the big chair tonight."

Noah scampered into his room and returned with a handful of books. "Dis one first!" He held up the classic _The Little Engine That Could_. "Daddy! Book time!"

Ed gulped a glass of water. "On my way, bud." He sat in the oversized chair first and rested his legs on the ottoman. Olivia wedged herself beside him and Noah piled on, his head between them. Three books later, they were still bargaining with the little boy.

"How about…" Olivia thought out loud, "You lie down here in bed and think about what you want to do tomorrow with Mommy and Daddy? We have the whole day together."

Noah yawned and pondered the idea.

"Okay."

"Good boy."

"But sing Twinkle-Twinkle first!"

"You got it, little man."

….

Olivia shuffled down the crowded courtroom bench to take the seat Fin had reserved for her. Sitting at the end of the row, three bodies away, was Chief Dodds who nodded politely at the Lieutenant but quickly returned his attention to Lisa Munson who had taken the stand a few minutes earlier. Her now ex-husband Gary had taken a plea on the sexual assault charges, but he opted to go to trial in order to hopefully be acquitted of felony murder in the death of Sergeant Mike Dodds. Munson's attorneys argued he was in a diminished mental state when he took Mike and his wife hostage, and Barba, who was assigned to this trial even though it didn't directly involve a sex crime, was aggressively poking holes in the theory. Additionally, Munson's attorney dragged out the process with motion after motion. It had been over a year since Mike's death, and the entire NYPD, especially Olivia, was anxious to put this behind them once and for all. She and the other officers had already testified about that afternoon's progression of events, and now it was time for the jury to hear about what went on in the house after Munson cut off all contact.

Lisa Munson appeared frail, but she steadfastly recounted what happened inside the house after Lieutenant Benson left with her children.

"Gary locked the door, kept the gun on the other officer, and closed the drapes."

"Did he speak to Sergeant Dodds?"

"He made him get rid of his gun."

"Did Sergeant Dodds comply?"

"Yes."

"Then what happened?"

Lisa Munson sniffled and dabbed at her face with a crumpled tissue. "The officer, Dodds, tried to reason with Gary. But he told the officer to leave. That it was between us. Gary heard Lieutenant Benson trying to get back into the house—she must have tried the side door, and then she was at the front door, ringing the doorbell."

"Could you hear what she was saying?"

"Yes. She said we needed to go. She asked Gary to open the door."

"And, how did Gary respond?"

"He pointed the gun at the door and told Sergeant Dodds to open it."

"And he didn't."

"No. He told Lieutenant Benson that wasn't going to happen and that the plan for me to leave with the kids was on hold."

Suddenly, Olivia felt like a spotlight was focused on her and chills tingled her spine. She turned and glanced up and down the row of people sitting on the bench but nobody else seemed to realize what Lisa Munson had just revealed. Even Chief Dodds maintained a steely, emotionless gaze. It took another hour for Barba to finish questioning Lisa, and during the break between witnesses, Olivia excused herself.

"You okay?" Fin asked, noticing the color had drained from her face.

"I'm…I'm fine. I'll be right back."

She practically stumbled to the ladies' room and gripped the edge of the countertop with both hands, bracing herself. She took several deep breaths.

Mike refused to open the door. He saved her life.

It had taken months of Lindstrom sessions, soul searching, and emotional conversations with Ed for Olivia to move past blaming herself for Mike's death. Guilt lingered, it always would, but it no longer consumed her; however, Lisa's revelation shocked her and sent her spiraling backwards into the black hole of doubt, sorrow, and regret.

More deep breaths.

She heard the gunshot. Her calls for SWAT to move in. Fin saying Mike was down. Chief Dodds calling for EMTs, a compress. Carisi asking if she was okay. And the admission neither she nor Dodds had searched Munson.

It was on her.

She squeezed her eyes closed and stood there for several minutes and only opened them when she heard the door open. Staring into the mirror, she waited for tears to come, but they didn't. Her eyes were dry, dark, hollow and the reflection she saw was not Olivia Benson Tucker, commanding officer, mother, and wife. It was the jaded image of a veteran cop who had seen too much humanity's worst horrors. It was the reflection of someone wrapped in perpetual self-doubt.

Ed knew his objections would go unheeded, but he nevertheless cautioned Olivia against sitting through the rest of the trial. He pointed out that she'd already testified and she knew what happened; however, Olivia countered that she didn't know exactly what happened in the space of time between Munson locking her out and the gunshot. She wanted, no, she needed, to hear about what happened in the house. Knowing today was probably going to be difficult, he sent her a few check-in texts, shrouded with encouragement, and wished he could be there at her side. However, he was upstate with the DA interviewing prisoners about an inmate who had claimed and insisted from the moment he was arrested that he was a victim of mistaken identity. The case had caught the attention of the national media, so its priority level catapulted all other cases.

When he took his lunch, he excused himself and called her. She picked up immediately.

"Hey."

She sounded haggard and exhausted.

"How ya doin?"

"Fine."

" _Liv_."

She managed a tiny smile. Ed never let her get away with _fine_. "Can we talk more about it later? It was tough to hear…that testimony."

"Sure." His gravelly voice was as soft as he could possibly muster.

"Will you be late?"

"Unfortunately, I think so. Unless…unless I need to get home sooner? I'll leave now if that's the case."

"No, no. I'm going back to the precinct. I…I can't take any more of this today."

"Good," Ed replied then corrected himself, "I don't mean good that you can't take any more."

"I know."

Was that a faint laugh he heard?

"I'll try to get Noah early and we'll go do something fun," Olivia said, obviously trying to drag herself out of the darkness.

"Send me pictures."

"I will. I love you."

"Love you too. Are you…are you sure you don't want to talk more?"

"Yes," Olivia answered confidently. "I'm sure. We'll talk later."

"I'll be there. Prolly after nine or ten, but I'll be there."

"I know," Olivia murmured, "And, you know what?"

"What?"

"I don't feel guilty about that anymore."

"About what?"

"You being there."

…

Sarah and Brooke perched themselves on their familiar barstools at Quinn's and ordered their typical drinks—beer for Brooke and Sarah, whose "typical" was to be unpredictable, went with a Moscow Mule. She relished her first sip.

"Mmmmm," she hummed with her eyes closed, "These are so good. Where have you been all my life, Moscow Mule?" She tapped the copper mug, "And I just loooove the presentation. We need to get some of these cups, Brooke."

"I'll rush right out tomorrow and find some."

"How was being a teacher in summer with nothing to do today?"

Brooke rolled her eyes, "Actually, today I was at my new school cleaning my new classroom. The person I replaced retired and seems to have just left after the final bell rang."

"Omigod, how _ruuuude_."

"I'm sure I'll do the same thing. And," Brooke added sharply, "This is the first summer in a long time I've had nothing to do. I've always had master's classes or a part-time job. So I'm enjoying it."

"And enjoying Sonny."

Brooke blushed. "A little."

"What's up with that anyway?" Sarah watched closely as Brooke pinched the bridge of her nose. "Trouble in paradise?"

"I'm just not…girlfriend material."

"Oh, _puh-lease_."

Brooke finished her beer and signaled for another round. "I don't want to talk about it right now. How's Isaac?"

"He's. So. _Hotttt_." Sarah gushed. "Ugh. So. So. Hot."

Brooke squinted. "How old is he again?"

"Twenty-three."

"Oh. So he just _started_ law school. You made it sound like he was almost a lawyer."

Sarah took a healthy gulp of her fresh Moscow Mule. "Oops," she said innocently.

"So," Brooke grinned devilishly, "How naked were you two exactly?"

Sarah fluttered her eyelashes, "Oh…I had a tank top and underwear…and the blanket. He had shorts."

"Oh God. How embarrassing."

"At least we weren't in their bed," Sarah retorted. " _That_ woulda been…uh…disownment."

Brooke nearly choked. "What?"

"At least we weren't in their bed," Sarah repeated.

"Meaning…"

"Meaning we were in their bed the night before. We were in the office because I'd washed everything and remade it the way they left it."

"You're awful."

Sarah looked offended, "I don't see the big deal. It's a bed."

Incredulous at her sister's naivety, Brooke massaged her temples, "You better never tell them."

"Point taken." Sarah nudged Brooke playfully, "Oh, Brookey, you know they're all over each other every night. Hell, I _witnessed_ how hot they are. I wanted some inspiration."

"You didn't _witness_ it."

"Close enough."

"Did it work?"

Sarah grinned triumphantly. "Best sex I've ever had."

"Oh, shut up."

…..

The lawyers tried to get Ed to have a few drinks when they arrived back in Manhattan, but Tucker declined and went straight home. He took a peek at Noah, kissed his forehead, and readjusted the blankets then stepped carefully into the master bedroom where he found Olivia under the covers but not asleep. She was watching the flat-screen television they rarely used and broke into a languid smile at the sight of her husband.

"Honey, I'm home," he sing-songed.

"Hi there." She reached out for him and he sat on the edge of the bed. "How'd it go?"

Ed groaned. "Without DNA or better witnesses, he's staying in prison."

"What's your gut tell you?"

"Guilty." Ed gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Be right back."

He disappeared into the bathroom and emerged wearing only a pair of black boxers. Olivia admired him from her spot on the bed—seeing him shirtless automatically turned her on even though she was tired. He flung back the covers and held her closely, just now realizing how much he longed to feel her body against his.

"Tell me about today."

"It was…nothing really."

" _Liv_."

Bottling her emotions no longer worked. Olivia knew this, but she still instinctively tried to keep everything inside even though she knew Ed would gently probe for details until she relented.

"Apparently…Munson told Mike to open the door. I was outside…shouting to Mike, trying to get in…and Munson pointed the gun at the door, told Mike to open it…and that's when he told me that wasn't going to happen."

Ed felt Olivia suddenly clam up, fighting against the sobs that he assumed were threatening to erupt in her chest.

"Nobody woulda opened that door, Liv."

"Probably not, but he _could_ have. He didn't. He saved Lisa's life _and mine_. And I didn't know that until today."

"Is it better that you know?"

"Yes," she answered softly, "I needed to know the whole thing…now I feel like I got closure…and I didn't realize I even needed it."

"Good. I wish I coulda been there."

"You…kind of were."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Today, it got dark for a few minutes…I went to this awful place again where I'm blaming myself and feeling so guilty and sad that I can hardly breathe," Olivia sat up a little, caressed one of Ed's cheeks and kissed the other, "But then I thought of you and of Noah and—"

"You're not alone."

"No," Olivia settled her head back onto his chest after another kiss, "And I think I'm finally…totally comfortable with that. You make it safe…for me to be honest with myself."

"I just want you to be happy, Liv."

"I am."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	40. Chapter 40

**40**.

Gary Munson stalked the corridor. Swinging in his arm was the long, black baton he liked to wave about to flaunt his authority. In the other hand was a shiny silver Smith & Wesson. Whiskers poked through his skin and his hair had grayed almost completely. It stood wildly on end as he snarled, "Lieutenant Benson."

Olivia did not respond. He had her trapped. Her body was pressed into the space where the door met the wall. There was no place to go; the only defense she had was to try and make herself as small as possible. Cowering, she felt the heat of his voice.

"LIEUTENANT BENSON!"

Olivia shot up. Her breath came in sharp pants. Ed propped himself on his elbow and gently rubbed her stomach with his free hand. He'd been watching her toss and turn for at least fifteen minutes and only when the tossing and turning became thrashing did he wake her.

He'd repeated _Liv_ several times before she finally came out of the dream.

"I'm okay," she said.

Ed's eyes dripped with concern. "Munson?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"Educated guess."

Olivia licked her dry lips, "He had me cornered."

Ed listened, all the while thinking about the horror she experienced at Sealview.

"I couldn't say anything. Couldn't move. I froze." Olivia put her head on Ed's chest. "Completely froze."

"It's not reality, Liv," Ed said softly, speaking into her hair, "Just a dream, baby. C'mere." He shifted so he was almost completely under her. "You're safe. I'm here. I love you."

Olivia's breathing evened out and she closed her eyes again and she fell back into a more peaceful sleep, lulled by Ed's steady heartbeat.

…

"Brookey, you have lotta stuff." Noah wandered around the apartment, examining the bags of school supplies and posters Brooke purchased for her new classroom. He picked up a package of markers. "I color wiff these?"

"Sorry, No, those are for the big kids. We haveta keep them in the box."

Noah frowned and pulled out a package of colored pencils. He peered at Brooke, hoping for a different answer.

"Why don't I get the crayons out? You have some here. And a coloring book."

"No book, Brookey."

Brooke stepped over to the hall closet and retrieved the crayons and blank paper. "Here ya go. Sorry I forgot you don't like the coloring books."

Noah parked himself next to the coffee table. "Color books drawed on already." He explained.

"I know." Brooke kissed the top of his head. "You want a snack?"

"Uh-huh."

Brooke went into the kitchen and started slicing an apple. She put the slices and a glob of peanut butter on a plate and set it in front of him. "Ready to start preschool next week?"

"I go to diff'rent school now."

"Yeah. It's pre-K. But you'll go to this school until you're big. Then you'll go off to college."

"Uh-huh," Noah said as if he understood completely.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"P'lice," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Well, you already have a badge."

"Yep!" Noah took a bite of the apple. He jerked his head toward the door at the sound of keys in the lock, "Sarah!"

Sure enough, Sarah entered with a flourish. Her purse and attaché case were slung over one shoulder and she held a bag of take-out food in the other hand. Isaac trailed her with a bottle of wine and a six pack.

"Noey Boey!"

"Sare bear!"

Noah ran over and hugged Sarah's legs. In the process he got a whiff of their dinner and scrunched up his nose. "Whassat?" He asked, poking the bag.

"Brazilian food." Sarah replied. She walked into the kitchen and dropped her bags and purse on the counter.

"Bazilian?"

"Yep, Isaac's Brazilian and he wants us to try it."

"I try?"

Sarah looked at Brooke. "How long's Noey here for?"

"Olivia had an emergency at work and had to drop him off until Dad comes."

Sarah smiled sweetly at Noah, "Well, we'll feed ya, No! C'mon, come up here and talk to Isaac while I get everything ready." Sarah sat Noah on the island and he sat, legs crossed, in front of Isaac who, despite having a younger brother Noah's age, didn't seem like he quite knew what to do.

"Hi there," Isaac said with a slight smile.

Noah pursed his lips and furrowed his brow as he inspected the semi-stranger. Nearby, Brooke was cracking up, sure that Noah recognized the face but was trying to figure out how he knew the man.

Finally, a light bulb went off in Noah's head. "You at my house."

" _Omigod_ ," Sarah muttered under her breath.

Brooke couldn't contain her laughter. "That's right, Noah!" She exclaimed gleefully. "Remember that, No? You came back from the mountains and Sarah and Isaac were at your house!"

The two interlopers glared at Brooke.

"I see da moose," Noah told Isaac. "An' a snake!"

Relieved Noah wasn't catching on to Brooke's teasing, Isaac relaxed and grinned. "A snake?"

"Uh-huh! It go _ssssssssssss_!" Noah weaved an arm in the air, "An' it move like dis!"

"Wow! You're brave. I'm a little scared of snakes."

"I not."

Sarah gave Noah a squeeze, "Of course you're not scared. You're the bravest brother ever!" She put her face in front of his, "Will you protect me from snakes, Noey?"

"Uh-huh."

"Thank you." She kissed his nose. "You're the best."

"You da best!"

"No, you're the best!"

Brooke looked helplessly at a dumbfounded Isaac as Sarah and Noah played their familiar game. She shrugged. "This could go on and on. Let's have a drink."

Isaac had just popped open two beers when Ed arrived. As per his custom, he knocked twice and entered without anyone letting him in. This slightly annoyed Brooke, but she kept her mouth shut, preferring not to make waves when he was allowing the two of them to live there practically rent-free. Seeing Ed, Isaac froze mid-sip, nearly dribbling beer down his chin.

"Hey, Dad," Brooke greeted him nonchalantly.

"Hello." Ed was trying to figure out how to address Isaac's presence and he wished Olivia were there. Things like this were easier with her around; he liked to follow her lead.

"Daddy!" Noah bounced on his bottom and reached out for Ed who came over and picked him up.

"Hiya, bud."

"Hi Daddy," Noah played with Ed's tie, "Mommy at p'lice so I stay wiff Brookey."

"I know, pal. Mommy's probably gonna be late. You wanna go eat at the pub?"

"Da pub!" Noah shouted. He craned his neck and directed his attention at Isaac, "I have grillcheese."

"Oh, that sounds good."

Finally, Ed acknowledged the young man, "How ya doin?" Then, almost as an afterthought, he extended his hand.

"Fine sir," Isaac replied, giving him a quick handshake.

"Sure you don't want to eat with us, Daddy?" Sarah asked. "We have Brazilian!"

"No thanks," Ed replied. "Where's his bag?"

"Right here." Brooke handed over the dinosaur backpack. "Hey, what are you doing for Labor Day?"

"Liv said somethin' about an arts festival in the West Village. Maybe see the tugboats."

"We're going to Crown Heights!" Sarah announced, "For the parade!"

Ed frowned. "We're not," he remarked bluntly.

"They're supposed to have a gazillian cops there," Brooke said, "I'm sure it'll be fine."

Ed smiled wryly at Brooke telling _him_ about the increased police presence at the annual West Indian Day Parade which, in recent years, had been marred by violence. "Maybe another year," he said, "But, if you want to stop by after we're going to barbecue and Grandma's coming by."

"Oooo," Sarah said, "We'll be there. Isaac, you need to meet my Grandma. She's awesome."

Isaac looked less than thrilled.

"Gamma Care-line bring cookies!" Noah announced.

"Yeah," Ed huffed, "She'll have cookies and cigarettes."

"I don't smoke, sir."

Sarah laughed appreciatively, "None of us do. Daddy, what should we bring?"

"Sonny ordered the prime rib," Brooke reported, "It needs to go on early."

Ed wanted to give this new person some responsibility. He stared at Isaac, "How about you and Sarah bring a few sides?"

"Will do, sir."

Ed was friendlier when talking about Sonny, "Carisi said he would text me in the morning when you bring the meat over. We need to get it going early and I wanna let Liv sleep in."

"Okay Dad." Brooke's tone suggested it was definitely time for Ed to leave. He was starting to draw a rigid verbal line between family and friends.

Ed took the hint. "C'mon, No. To the pub we go."

No grinned and echoed. "To da pub!"

….

"Hello, Tuckers," Josh the waiter greeted Noah and Ed warmly and showed them to their typical spot—the small booth by the window. He brought their usual drink orders without needing to ask and waited patiently while Noah suddenly deviated from his planned grilled cheese and wondered if he would like chicken fingers instead.

"Nope," the little boy finally concluded, "I have grillcheese."

"Fries or tots?"

"Tots!"

"And for you, Captain?"

Ed folded the menu in half and handed it to Josh. "I'll have the cheeseburger. Medium. American. And do you still have that pasta salad we had last week?"

"Sure do."

"I'll have that on the side."

Josh left to send their orders to the kitchen.

"So, pal, whaddya want to do tonight? Just gonna be us guys."

"Just da guys!" Noah repeated happily. "We swim? It hot."

Ed grinned. "I know, pal. We don't really have anywhere to swim, but we can go to the fountain at the park. Want to do that?"

"Uh-huh. Daddy, you go in da water?"

"Nah, pal, that's for you little guys."

"Want Daddy to play."

"How 'bout we throw the football around first and then you can cool off in the water?"

"Kay!"

"Whadja do with Brookey today?"

Noah thought for a second. "Buyed stuff."

"For school?"

"Uh-huh."

"You start school next week, too. You excited?"

Noah tore the edges of his paper placemat. "New school," he murmured. Ever since enrolling Noah in the new private school, Ed and Olivia had been prepping Noah for the shift from day care and its in-house preschool to the more formal pre-K program.

"Yeah, bud. It's gonna be great. You'll learn more new stuff and have new friends and new teachers."

"Miss Melia be dere?"

"No," Ed saw Noah's face start to crumple and immediately thought of a remedy. "But, you know what, we could always have Miss Melia teach you Spanish at our house. Would ya like that?"

Noah immediately perked up. "Yes!"

"Okay, I'll make that happen."

Ed's phone vibrated against the wooden tabletop. He inspected the caller, "Oh, it's Mommy."

"Mommy!"

"Hey, Liv," Ed answered, smiling at Noah as he used a tater tot to draw ketchup lines all over his plate. The smile did not last long. "Oh…okay…well, we were gonna bring you some dinner…okay…keep me posted. Love you. Noah, tell Mommy you love her."

"Luvvvvvvyou!"

"Bye Liv." Ed ended the call and asked Josh to turn on the local news. Sure enough, the case that would keep Olivia at work through the night was on screen.

 _Two found dead in Central Park._

Ed sighed as he listened to the reporter give the few details that had been released to the public. It didn't look like Olivia would be home anytime soon.

…..

Ed poured himself the last of the Italian whiskey Carisi had gifted him and paused to take in the nighttime Manhattan view before settling back on the sofa with a sleeping Noah. The boy was curled up with Bernie, his Thomas blanket, and one of his bed pillows. After tossing the football around and playing in the spray fountain, Ed brought Noah home, cleaned him up, and they watched one of his _Cars_ movies until Noah fell asleep. Rather than take him to bed, Ed left him on the couch, preferring the company even if the company was completely sacked out. Ed gazed at his angelic face and a combination of love and pride swelled in his chest, so much so that he had to put forth an extra effort to breathe.

He flipped through the channels and settled on a station that aired sitcom reruns; he didn't feel like watching the news anymore because it made him think of Olivia and the terrible crime she and her squad were investigating. According to her last update, she was back at the precinct and her detectives were gradually bringing in evidence and witnesses, but the process was off to a slow start.

Rather than concentrating on the show, Ed found himself focusing on the photographs situated on the shelves and tables around the room. The images contained various combinations of their family posing and smiling. His girls were always radiant—pink cheeks and defined features, mostly inherited from him; perfect teeth, paid for by him; blonde hair that fell in waves (Sarah) and flipped out at the ends of a coiffed bob (Brooke). Their hair, Ed originally thought, had come from their mother, but it was really from Caroline. Aside from Brooke's semi-round face, not much in their features reminded him of his ex-wife. Both daughters had Tucker baby-blue eyes, capable of both intense, icy glares and gazes overflowing with love and adoration.

Both Brooke and Sarah baffled him on a regular basis. Sarah was a constant source of concern. He predicted that, one day, she was going to show up at the apartment and announce she'd quit her job and was going to do something ridiculous like "find herself." She'd always been a free spirit, and that personality trait was so at odds with her intellect and her career choice. Ed always felt Sarah's smarts belonged in Brooke's body. Brooke, on the other hand, was like him…a bit straight-laced, hesitant to trust people, always thinking twice, and, at times, for better or for worse, a bit of a loner. If Sarah was married and divorced two or three times, it wouldn't particularly surprise Ed, but he knew, if Brooke got married, it had to work out. Otherwise, she would never trust herself to find love again. Consequently, Ed worked hard to make sure Carisi knew he had Ed's blessing when it came to Brooke. Ed knew a good man when he saw one.

Noah stirred and plastered himself even more closely to the rear cushion.

Ed glanced at his son and smiled. Noah warmed to Ed almost immediately after Olivia had finally let him into their world, and, in addition to the love Ed had for the boy, he also felt a great deal of gratitude, for, if he had been more reluctant, this whole new life probably wouldn't have happened. It was Noah who first let down his guard. It was Noah who requested hugs and hand holding and kisses and who had called Ed "Daddy" so naturally that neither Ed nor Olivia had to take the initiative in that regard. Noah blazed that trail for himself and, maybe someday, a long, long time from now, at some special moment, Ed would tell him how instrumental he was, as a toddler, in cementing the bond between his Mommy and Daddy.

Then there was Olivia. Ed leaned back and rested his legs on the coffee table. He could think about his wife all day and night. It was funny that the first thought he had about his wife when she was away was actually not a thought, but a sound. He heard her voice. The softness. The compassion. The little edge when she teased him. The sometimes-hoarse sometimes-guttural moans and cries when they made love, and then the coos and purrs when they cuddled afterward, soaking up the comfort of each other's bodies…and then finally when she drifted off to sleep against his chest, not really snoring but breathing heavily and completely relaxed. He loved her like that…maybe the most, but he could never quantify his love for her. It was too nuanced, complex, deep, but…permanent. For once, he had something, someone to which he could anchor himself. And it felt good.

It felt even better when, a while later when Olivia came home and found Ed and Noah asleep and contorted in what looked to be uncomfortably positions on the couch, she kissed his sleepy lips softly and stayed close, waiting for him to realize what was going on.

He gasped a little, kissed air, and lazily dragged his eyes open. There she was, hair falling against his cheeks, her lips turned upwards in a slight smile, and those brown eyes unmistakably saying, _I love you_.

"Hi," He whispered thickly.

"Hi."

She settled in next to him on the opposite side of Noah.

"Arrest and plea deal tomorrow?"

"No and No."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not now. I want to…be with you for a while. I have to go back soon."

Ed held her tightly for a few minutes and kissed her head over and over. Before they were married Olivia would have never done this. She would have never taken a break to come home, at least, not with the sole intention to see him and cuddle for a while, but here she was and she wasn't disguising what she was doing. One lingering problem, no, challenge, with their marriage was Olivia's tendency to dive into tricky cases and refuse to stop until it was solved. This amounted to strings of days where she came home late and left early, leaving Ed feeling slighted and ignored, even though he knew she was not intentionally casting him to the side in order to somehow wound him. He understood her passion for her job, but, sometimes, he simply did not want to share his wife.

"What did you do today?"

Ed ticked off some mundane details about two separate cases and then mentioned meeting Isaac again. Olivia laughed.

"Were you nice?"

"Yes."

"Did you invite them to Labor Day?"

"Yes."

"Are they coming?"

"I think so."

Ed fell silent, and Olivia asked, "What?"

"Nothin'…I just…are you really not on duty that day?"

"I'm really not." Olivia furrowed her brow. Ed wasn't usually like this. "But…if something major happens, you know, I may have to go in. Why?"

She felt Ed shrug. "Me? Stuck with my mother, this new guy…without you, it's…it's not somethin' that sounds too enjoyable. You make everything easier."

Olivia smiled and settled in against his chest and dared to close her eyes, knowing she couldn't fall into the deep sleep she desperately wanted. "That's a nice compliment."

"I have an unlimited supply."

"Yeah?"

He held her more snugly, soaking up the final minutes of closeness.

"Yeah."

…..

After an afternoon browsing the West Village art fair, Ed, Olivia, Noah, and Caroline regrouped at the apartment and waited for the girls and their dates. Olivia arranged for she and Carisi to be off-duty on this particular Sunday since Brooke preferred having a clear schedule on the actual Labor Day holiday so she could relax before she met her new group of students.

While Noah napped, Caroline buzzed around the Tucker kitchen, putting together the ingredients she'd brought over in two large shopping bags. Both Olivia and Ed offered to help, but the tiny lady shook her head, causing the spiky strands of her silver pixie cut to flutter wildly, and scoffed good-naturedly, "When you help you're in my way. Just sit here and keep me company. Drink something."

Ed glanced quickly at Olivia who was already perched on a barstool, waiting patiently for her husband to serve her and his mother an afternoon cocktail.

"Ma, I know what you want. Liv?"

"You know what? I think I'll have a beer. That sounds good."

Ed nodded in agreement. The heat in New York this summer had been stifling and the day's high temperatures and humidity portended an equally scorching early fall season.

Caroline narrated as she worked. "Got my chicken salad and my tuna salad. Made chicken 'cause Sarah told me this new guy doesn't eat anything that lives in water." She briefly looked up, "Who the hell doesn't eat tuna salad?"

"People who are allergic to fish?" Ed suggested.

Caroline sniffed, "Tuna isn't exactly fish."

"Then what the hell is it?" Ed took his spot next to Olivia and noticed her shaking with silent laughter.

"It's in a can for God's sake, Eddie. How fishy can it possibly be? And she didn't say he was _allergic_. She just said he doesn't eat fish. I almost told her that he could have what Noah's having but then I realized Noah _loves_ my tuna salad."

"He really does," Olivia said.

" _Gawwwd_ ," Caroline sighed, "I hope she's not dating another child like that man-boy she married."

Ed screwed up his face. "Man-boy?"

"Yes. Man-boy. Wants to play all the time like a little boy but is a man."

"I don't think that's the story, ma."

"That's the story she told me."

"I think…" Olivia mused, "There were a lot of challenges with her and Jeff's relationship."

"Yeah," Ed briefly acknowledged Olivia's point, "Ma, Sarah tell you the story about when we got back from Wyoming and found her and this Isaac guy in our house?"

Olivia opened her eyes wide, surprised Ed chose to bring this up once again. However, she also knew that Sarah and Caroline were incredibly close.

"She said something."

"What?"

"She and Isaac had to…get away."

Ed rolled his eyes.

Olivia pressed her lips together in a polite smile.

Caroline scrunched up her lips. "Eddie…give her a break."

"What?"

"Give her a break."

"Ma?"

"You've always been harder on her. She scares you." Ed started to object, but Caroline raised her voice ever so slightly. "She's like me. She _feels_ , Eddie, and she goes with those emotions. You? Angela? You both are so calculated…and God gave you Sarah and neither one of you knows how to handle her."

Ed took a long gulp of his beer, swallowing the liquid and his mother's words.

"So thank God Olivia does," Caroline added. She shook her head and grinned at her daughter-in-law, "You're amazing sweetheart. Dealing with this one and Sarah? You're going straight to heaven for sure."

"Oh," Olivia replied breezily, "It's not _that_ bad. Sarah has a big heart. She just has to figure out some things. And you," she tugged at Ed's sleeve, "Are _always_ a pleasure to deal with."

Caroline laughed, "You two…always flirting…I love it," she took a bite of her chicken salad. "And I love this. Okay. I think we're all set. When's everybody getting here?"

…..

A little while later, Caroline Tucker happily sipped her fourth or fifth gin-and-tonic and occasionally leaned forward to play her turn. Finding a game everyone knew how to play turned out to be difficult, so the group finally settled on 500 Rummy and Caroline, who had a knack for any game involving cards and strategy, was comfortably ahead.

"Everyone get enough food?" Caroline asked.

The question was met with a chorus of yesses.

"Mrs. Tucker, everything was fantastic," Carisi gushed. "That's why I'm letting you win."

"Oh, stop it, Sonny, and also stop calling me _Mrs. Tucker_ for Pete's sake."

"Sorry, it's a habit."

"And stop apologizing."

Brooke gazed sweetly at her blushing boyfriend, "He still calls Dad _Captain_."

Carisi shrugged shyly, "Prolly always will. And Lieu will always be Lieu."

Olivia peered over her cards, "That's right," she joked.

"Even if Sonny and Brooke get married?" Sarah blurted out causing everyone to fall into a stunned, uncomfortable silence. Sarah's teasing grin quickly faded. "Um…sorry. Touchy subject?"

Brooke eyed Sarah's glass, "Um, isn't it always? But I'll blame it on the alcohol." She swiped the bottle of wine that Sarah had placed between herself and Isaac, "That's probably enough for today."

"No need to rush anything," Caroline said, trying to smooth things over as she carefully played her cards, "You're young and in love and you should enjoy every minute of it."

Carisi slung his arm around Brooke's shoulders. He expected her to lean into him, but she stiffened. Olivia noticed this and the hurt in Carisi's eyes as he removed his arm and settled back into his chair. She tried to steer the conversation into calmer waters.

"Brooke, how are you feeling about school starting?"

"I'm excited." She ran her fingers through her short blonde hair. "And a little nervous. The other school, well, parents weren't exactly that involved. This school? I've already had parents email me. It'll be interesting."

Sarah, trying to redeem herself for the earlier ill-timed comment, reached over and tickled Noah. "And Noey Boey you're going to big boy school!"

He giggled. "Uh-huh!"

"Does he have to wear a uniform?"

"Sort of," Olivia replied, "The preschoolers wear khakis and polos, the actual dress code doesn't kick in until Kindergarten."

"Well, Noey, when it gets cooler you and I are going wardrobe shopping. You will be the best-dressed kid in that school."

Ed rolled his eyes, "You don't think we dress him well enough?"

"Gawwwd," Sarah huffed, "What is this? Foot in my mouth day? I didn't mean it like _that_!"

Caroline played another turn. "Annnd, that should put me over five hundred. Isaac, scorekeeper, right? I win?"

"Yes ma'am you did."

"Well, good. Another round?"

Brooke stood up and stretched, "Not for me. I'm gonna head home."

Again, Carisi regarded Brooke curiously. "Okay, well, thanks for everything," he said quickly. Brooke was already headed towards the door. Carisi waved at everyone helplessly. "Good to see you again, Mrs, _uh_ , Caroline."

Caroline sprung to her feet and went to hug Sonny. "Brookey, get over here and give your Grandmother a kiss," she admonished her.

"Sorry, Gram," Brooke kissed her on the cheek, "See you soon, okay?"

"Sunday dinner is always open to everyone."

"Maybe in a couple weeks."

Brooke and Sonny departed. Sarah and Isaac left soon after, taking Caroline with them. Olivia gave Noah a bath and got him ready for bed while Ed cleaned up the kitchen. He joined them in Noah's room for stories and, together, he and Olivia tucked him in and kissed him goodnight then retreated to the living room and lounged on the sofa.

"That was weird," Ed remarked, "The way Brooke left."

"The marriage comment freaked her out," Olivia replied knowingly.

"She didn't have to take it out on Carisi. Poor guy. He looked like someone punched him in the gut."

"I know." She smiled at Ed, "But I think it's very cute that you want the two of them to be together."

He smirked back at her. "I like the guy."

"Isaac sure was quiet."

"I _don't_ like that guy."

" _Awwww_ ," Olivia caressed the side of Ed's face, "Are you ever going to forgive them?"

"I _have_ forgiven them. I don't like him. Somethin' about him…he's got an attitude problem. When he did say something it was always sarcastic. He's a punk."

"He's young."

"What the hell?" Ed asked incredulously, "Sarah goes from Dodds to a college kid?"

Olivia laughed, "It's law school. He's not an undergrad."

Ed groaned, "Ma's right. I have no idea how to handle her."

"She's a big girl," Olivia scooted closer to Ed. "She can handle herself."

"I suppose so." Ed moved so he was within kissing distance and planted a smooch on her lips. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Olivia cocked an eyebrow, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing, actually." He kissed her again, this time swirling his tongue around her mouth. He felt Olivia's hands wander under his shirt and her fingers dig into his chest. He ripped his lips from hers to let her remove the polo and he kissed at her throat and neck while he unbuttoned her blouse.

After the silky garment fell from her body and onto the floor, Ed wasted no time removing her bra. He suckled gently at each breast before meeting her lips again in another fiery kiss. He laid her down, crawled on top of her, and nibbled at her earlobe.

Olivia moaned, her nerves already on fire, and she pushed Ed's shorts as far down as she could get them before Ed finished the job. He kissed his way down her torso, slid her linen shorts from her body without bothering with the button and zipper, and leaned back, taking in the sight of her dressed only in ivory-colored panties as he yanked off his boxer briefs.

His gaze lasted too long for Olivia and she knelt in front of him. Ed threw his head back, gasping for air as she stroked him. He grabbed at her breasts and jerked a bit. She applied more pressure and he fell against her.

" _Liv_."

"Yeah?"

"You gonna let me do anything?"

She released him and held his face in her hands.

"Whatcha wanna do, Captain?"

He delayed his answer, kissed her again, and laid her back on the cushions. Hovering over her and leering, he whispered, "I wanna…do this." He lowered himself and ran his tongue along the inside of both her thighs.

"And I want," he began dragging the panties down her legs, "these off." He tossed them aside and spread her legs wide. "So I can taste you." He swiped his tongue between her legs once and her back arched. Ed chuckled devilishly at the near-violent reaction to that singular move. He dove back in, aggressively massaging her hips and thighs as he pierced and probed at her center. She cried out for him repeatedly and he rasped, "Now I want you to come for me, baby." She writhed and reached for a pillow to muffle her shrieks. " _Louder_ ," he implored, sucking harder and lapping at her faster and faster.

" _Ahhhhhhhhhh_!"

"Yeah, Liv. Like that."

Her back arched even higher off the cushions and she thrashed uncontrollably. Ed ran his lips lightly across her skin as he slowly moved back up her body. His face glistened and he attacked her mouth, opening his mouth wide, nearly swallowing her chin as he let her taste herself.

Olivia cupped the back of his head and kissed back until Ed moved back down her body, focused his attention on her breasts again, then her collarbone and shoulders, and her earlobes.

"Now I wanna be inside you," he whispered.

Olivia ran her fingers up and down his back and lifted her head to nuzzle his neck. "I want you," she whispered back, "I _always_ want you."

"Me too," he replied as he entered her, " _Ah, ugh, mmmm,_ You. Feel. So. Good _._ " He began with a fairly rapid pace, "You gonna come for me again?"

Olivia could hardly speak. "Yesssssss. Right. There. Don't stop. _There_."

Ed quickened his thrusts and right before he decided he couldn't hold off any longer she shrieked and squirmed, climaxing again and, seconds later, he spilled into her, shaking and jerking, and, finally, fell on top of her, totally spent.

…..

After showering, Olivia dried off, dressed in her pajama pants and a t-shirt, and settled on the bed with a magazine. Ed emerged from the bathroom, towel-drying his hair, and suggested they order something to eat.

"You don't want the leftovers from earlier?"

"Nah."

"What do you want?"

"Tacos."

Olivia smiled sweetly. "Okay…sounds good, I'm not that hungry but I'll eat a couple."

Ed picked up the laptop and opened it. "Carne Asada? Chicken?" He rattled off suggestions while the computer woke up. "Shrimp?"

"One carne one chicken," she said.

"Got it." The screen came alive. Olivia had been using the computer earlier and the last page she'd browsed was open. The article title caused Ed to do a double take and rendered him temporarily incapacitated.

"No," Olivia said, "I think one carne one shrimp. Yeah. Or, get a chicken one, too. I might eat three. You…you worked up my appetite, sir." She playfully nudged him and, apparently, didn't notice his shock at what he was reading.

He forced a laugh and tried to act normal. "Yeah," he murmured and navigated to the website, "Okay, three tacos for my hungry wife it is…"

"How many are you getting?"

"Five."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

He quickly placed the order and grabbed a magazine of his own but he merely flipped through the pages without reading a word. Briefly, he thought he should mention what he saw, but he decided against it, preferring to wait and see if Olivia brought it up first. She left the article up on the laptop they shared here at home, so, obviously, she wasn't trying to hide it. He wasn't going to give her long, though. The anticipation was already killing him.

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	41. Chapter 41

**41—(The Last Chapter)**

The smell of breakfast emanating from the kitchen was the only reason Sarah dragged herself from bed. She rubbed her temples and then pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to find the exact root of her throbbing headache. On the way to the kitchen she stopped in the bathroom and rummaged around for aspirin or ibuprofen, anything to numb the pain shooting through her skull.

Brooke heard her and called, "It's out here."

"Thank God," Sarah muttered. She swiped the bottle from Brooke's hand and shook out four tablets. "Fuck we drank a lot last night."

Brooke pushed the bacon around in the pan. "Yes we did. And now, instead of relaxing and getting my head straight for tomorrow, I'm gonna spend the whole day hungover."

Sarah opened the refrigerator. In addition to a bottle of seltzer she pulled out a large item wrapped in white butcher paper. "What's this?"

"The prime rib Sonny ordered but we didn't eat."

"Why didn't we eat it?"

"Miscommunication. Gram was making all that stuff so we figured we'd keep this for some other time."

Sarah returned the bulky piece of meat to where it had been and washed down her Advil with the carbonated water, wincing as it burned her throat. "I do not remember getting home. How did we get home?" She looked at her older sister with wide eyes which were ringed with smeared makeup.

"Cab," Brooke answered.

"Did Sonny spend the night?"

"No, he went home. Remember? You and Isaac came back here and he was already gone. We went out again? Isaac bought all those fucking shots? _Goddamn_."

"He's filthy rich." Sarah put her head on the island, "Ahhh, this is nice and cool. I just wanna be cold right now and for this Advil to work. How badly did I make a fool out of myself?"

"Before or after you asked about me and Sonny getting married?"

Sarah scrunched up her face. "What?"

Brooke divided the scrambled eggs, bacon, and English muffins between two plates and slid one over to Sarah. "You don't remember _that_?"

"Oh, shit, what I said at Dad's? That was an innocent little comment about Sonny being so formal all the damn time." Sarah took a tiny bite of the bacon. "Ugh. This may come right back up." She chewed slowly and swallowed. "Okay. Okay. Not bad." Confident she could keep the bite down, she interrogated Brooke. "Why did you get so freaked out about that anyway?"

"He already wants to move in with me," Brooke sounded exasperated, "When you said that it…it literally made me almost throw up."

Sarah closed her eyes and put a hand up, "Please, let's not talk about throwing up. I'm struggling."

Not feeling great herself, Brooke conceded, "Well, it made me feel…bad. Everyone—you, Dad, Grandma, I think Olivia—you all want this thing, I think more than me. It's weird. Everything could be perfect if I wanted it to be…and I just don't."

"Why not?" Sarah went to the refrigerator and got a beer. "Don't look at me like that." Brooke had shot her a motherly glare. "I need to eat, drink this, and go back to bed."

"Whatever," Brooke muttered, "Your liver is probably half dead."

"Stop avoiding the question."

"What question?"

Sarah rolled her eyes, "Why is it that you're the only one on earth who doesn't want you and Sonny to be together?"

"It's not that. It's…I'm so awkward with all of this."

Sarah took another small bite, this time of the eggs. "You don't seem awkward."

"It feels awkward."

"It doesn't look awkward. The only thing that did was you yesterday when Sonny tried to put his arm around you."

"I didn't think anyone saw that."

"Livvie did. And I did. And I was gonna say something but she changed the subject."

"It didn't matter at that point. I couldn't get it out of my head and I had to get outta there."

"Did you even invite Sonny up?"

"No," Brooke buttered the second half of her English muffin, "He's working today and said he needed some sleep, he knew something was wrong, so he went home."

Sarah swilled her beer. "He didn't say anything?"

"No. I think he knew I didn't want to talk about it."

" _Are_ you going to talk about it?"

"I guess we should."

Sarah slapped the countertop with both hands, "Of course you should. You have to. Sonny loves you, but you gotta be honest with him."

Brooke smiled. "Look at you making sense and being wise for once."

Shrugging, Sarah replied, "It's about time I guess."

"Well, neither one of us was very wise last night. No more _college_ bars."

"I can't believe Isaac's not here. Why didn't he come home with us?"

"I don't know. It was crowded in that place and we kinda got separated from him for a few minutes, you got impatient, and said we should just go. So we did."

Sarah raced back to her room and returned with her phone. "He didn't text or anything. Guess he wasn't that concerned."

"That's weird. I hope he's okay. He was fucked up."

"Well, no big deal. I think I'm done with him."

"Used him up and throwing him out?"

"He sucked yesterday with Grandma and Dad and Livvie. He's boring. And he ordered _cement mixers_."

Brooke laughed and immediately regretted it because it made her headache more intense, "You remember that?"

"It just came to me." Sarah pushed her plate away. "Put that in the fridge for me, will ya? I'll eat it later. I gotta go lie down."

Brooke amusedly watched Sarah stumble back to her bedroom. She carefully wrapped Sarah's plate in plastic wrap and finished her own breakfast. She collapsed on the couch and turned on the television, hoping to find a Labor Day marathon of some sort. The networks did not disappoint. She chose a long-running cop show she'd loved forever and as she followed the plot she thought of Sonny and sent him a text asking if he'd like to make the prime rib for dinner.

He replied instantaneously.

 _Absolutely_.

….

The Tuckers had just finished breakfast when Olivia got a call summoning her back to the precinct. It was a holiday and she was not on duty, but two more bodies had been found in the park in the early hours of the morning and Fin and Rollins speculated they had a serial rapist/killer on their hands.

"I'm sorry," Olivia sighed and scooped the rest of her mixed berries into her mouth, "I have to go."

"Same MO as the last ones?" Ed asked, trying to hide his disappointment.

"Yes. And…he gets them in _pairs_." Olivia kissed Noah's cheek. "You're doing a great job with your breakfast, sweet boy. Mommy's gonna get changed and go to police and you and Daddy'll hang out today."

"Kay," Noah mumbled with his mouth full of cereal.

Ed mussed his son's hair. "Stay here and finish up, bud. I'm gonna help Mommy for a second." He followed Olivia into the bedroom even though now was not the time to bring up the website. They wouldn't have time to discuss it, and he kicked himself for not broaching the topic last night. Instead, they ate their tacos, and Olivia initiated a second round of lovemaking after which they fell asleep naked in each other's arms and stayed that way until sunrise.

Olivia didn't realize Ed trailed her and she walked out of the bathroom and gasped with surprise when she nearly smacked into him. "Oh! Hey! I didn't hear you."

He leaned in for a kiss. "Sorry." His eyes drifted up and down her body and he smiled appreciatively. She'd chosen her usual black pants and held her matching blazer in her hand, but Ed loved the way her coral blouse looked against her tanned skin. She'd already donned her shield and Ed reached up to the nearby cabinet for her Glock. "Here, he said softly."

"Thank you." She fastened the holster and her eyes darted back and forth between the gun and Ed. He was acting weird all of a sudden.

She'd pulled her hair back and it was all Ed could do to stop himself from kissing at her exposed neck. He gave her one last kiss and Olivia held him by the shoulders after they broke apart, studying him.

"Are you okay?"

Ed took a quick glance at the ottoman where he'd left the laptop. "Yeah, I'm good, you're just…so _gorgeous_." He smiled shyly.

Olivia cocked her head to the side. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Absolutely. I have the most beautiful wife in the world and me and our son are going to watch the tugboat races later on, and, hopefully, we'll all regroup later for dinner?"

"We'll try to get the bad guys by then," Olivia said playfully.

"I love you, Liv."

She replied with an "I love you of her own," but the degree of sincerity in Ed's _I love you_ rattled her. He always had a little glint in his eye when he said it, but this time there was something extra—a yearning, a longing that she hadn't seen in his face since the very early days of their relationship when they were still testing the waters of intimacy.

"I better go," she said softly, reaching up to smooth the longer hair on top of his head.

"Yeah."

At the table, Noah waited patiently for the return of his parents. The remnants of his breakfast were scattered about and he grinned at Ed and Olivia. "I done!"

"Yeah, bud. Let's get ya cleaned up and we'll go see the tugboats."

"Bye sweetheart."

"Bye bye Mommy! We see da tu'boats. Toot! TOOOOOOT!"

Olivia laughed. "That's right, baby. Make sure Daddy takes a lot of pictures."

"Kay!"

Ed lifted Noah from the booster seat, wished Olivia good luck, and took his son to the bathroom to get cleaned up and dressed. Olivia grabbed her bag and left, using the moments of solace in the elevator to wrack her brain for reasons why Ed had been so clingy. Sometimes he got in these moods and it was usually when she was working a lot, so maybe that was it; however, she couldn't shake the feeling that, perhaps, something was wrong and he was trying to soften her up before delivering some crushing news.

….

Brooke was on her fifth or sixth episode when Sarah emerged from her bedroom in a tank top and pajama pants. Her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and she'd scrubbed her face clean of the makeup smears.

"Ahhh, I feel much better," she announced, "Ready to go?"

Brooke frowned. "Go where?"

"Crown Heights," Sarah replied as if Brooke should've known what she was talking about all along.

"It's kinda late now," Brooke replied, "You really wanna go all the way over there?" Despite having had breakfast, a gallon of water, and a few hours of rest, the clanging cacophony of carnival did not sound appealing.

Sarah checked the time, "It's not that late. C'mon. Let's go for a couple hours. At least for the food. I'm hungry now."

"I saved your breakfast."

"I want street food."

Brooke rolled her eyes, but moved to get up. "Fine."

"Should I call Isaac?"

"Wait a minute. Who are you? Do you remember earlier when you told me you were done with him? Were you still drunk?"

"Kinda."

Brooke groaned.

"Hey," Sarah said sharply, "We planned to go with Isaac all along. And Sonny before he switched days off. I should at least text him and see if he wants to go."

"Do what you want," Brooke said, "Can I shower or are you gonna throw powder all over me when we get there?"

"I'd never do that to you."

Brooke scowled. "Never say never. You're unpredictable."

"All part of my charm."

"Is that what that is?" Brooke joked.

"Get your ass in the shower," Sarah commanded and playfully shoved Brooke into the bathroom. "We're leaving in a half hour."

…..

Olivia listened intently as her detectives reported the evidence they'd gathered so far. Their serial killer/rapist targeted women leaving clubs in pairs. He left their bodies lying haphazardly, discarded, in semi-secluded areas of the park where they were sure to be found, only not right away.

"It's possible he's in the area, watching and waiting," Rollins speculated, "Gets off on the discovery. The last two were off the path near Bethesda Fountain. These two were close to the castle."

"Blood alcohol was off the charts on the last two vics," Fin added, "Prolly the same thing this time. He likes the challenge of two…but there's no contest. They're wasted."

"Weapons?" Olivia asked.

"COD's strangulation," Fin replied, "Whatever he uses, he leaves with it. But the ligature marks are narrow, more like a power cord than a rope or a chain."

"Anything else?"

Carisi stepped forward, "He uses a condom and gloves. Techs found traces of latex residue at both scenes. Left the condom wrapper but no prints. And the brand's ubiquitous."

Fin smirked, "Ubiquitous, huh?"

"Yeah. Means—"

"I know what it means," Fin scoffed, "You're just startin' to sound more and more like a lawyer."

"Ok, guys," Olivia interjected, "Let's stay focused here. If the women were that drunk, they must have drawn attention. Find out where they were, who they were with—every move they made last night. We need to get this guy before he goes hunting again."

"Got it, Lieutenant." Rollins said. "The girls both had stamps on their hands. Won't be hard to find out where they were. Fin, riding with me?"

He looked at Olivia for confirmation.

"Go ahead." She removed her reading glasses and closed her laptop. "Carisi and I'll go canvass the area. Send their pics to my phone, please?"

"On it."

Carisi and Olivia sped north towards the west side of Central Park. A canvass at this hour would probably not amount to much, but certain park denizens were peculiar people and there was a slim chance someone saw something. They parked on Central Park West and Olivia noted the surrounding buildings' surveillance cameras.

"We'll need to pull all the footage from this area and at least twenty blocks north and south," She instructed. "It can't be that difficult to see a man with two _extremely_ intoxicated women at his side."

"Shouldn't be," Carisi muttered doubtfully.

The Lieutenant and the Detective spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon scouring the park for potential witnesses and visiting the apartment buildings and businesses in the area to request video.

"Well," Carisi said, "Guess we can head back. I'll get goin' on the street cams."

"Sounds good."

"Wanna get some lunch first?"

Olivia checked her phone. Ed had been sending pictures from the pier all morning, but she suspected he and Noah were now either at the park or home for a nap because his messages had tapered off in the past hour.

"Sure."

"Tacos?"

The suggestion made Olivia think about last night, and she felt the warmth of a flush invade her cheeks. For expediency's sake, she agreed, and Carisi directed her to one of his favorite places—a little hole in the wall joint. They ordered and ate standing up at the counter overlooking the street.

"That was fun yesterday," Carisi said as he took a huge bite of his first taco. "Love Captain Tucker's mother."

"She is entertaining."

"I hope, uh, I hope you and Captain Tucker didn't think we were rude to leave like we did."

Olivia wasn't sure about mixing personal life talk with an on-the-job lunch, but she figured there was probably no way to avoid it. When Carisi was at their house she easily forgot she was his boss, and when they were working, the fact he was dating Brooke often escaped her.

"We didn't think anything of it." The reply was devoid of emotion.

Carisi continued, obviously intending to delve into more serious topics. "Sarah…with that marriage talk…threw Brooke for a loop. She practically ran home."

"Sarah needs to learn that she doesn't have to say everything that runs through her mind."

"Yeah," Carisi murmured, "I wish Brooke would talk more, though. I never really know where I stand with her. I mean, things are great, but it's like she's holding back. And I can't figure out why."

Olivia stopped eating, pushed her half-eaten lunch off to the side, and leaned on one elbow, facing him. "Brooke's very independent, Carisi. You have to understand that. I get it because that was me. My whole life up until a couple years ago. It's hard…to admit that you like having someone around and then when you realize you like it…you suddenly think, hmmm, I _need_ this person around, and needing someone, when you've never needed anyone? That's scary."

"You ever live with someone long term before Tucker?"

"Long term? No. Less than a year."

"I'm tryin' to be patient, but I _want_ to be with her. It's been a while now, but I can't seem to get her to take that step."

"I really don't know what to tell you, Carisi. Other than keep talking to her. Maybe she'll follow your lead and open up. But, obviously," Olivia smiled slyly, "I wouldn't bring up the _M word_ anytime soon."

Carisi returned the grin. "Yeah…yeah…good advice, Lieu." He finished off his second taco. "Hey, she did say she wanted to do dinner tonight. We're gonna make that prime rib. You and the Captain wanna join?"

Olivia remembered the morning and her husband's odd behavior. "No…I think we'll have a quiet night at home. But thanks. You two enjoy."

"I hope that Isaac guy doesn't show up," Carisi muttered, "Damn he's annoying."

….

Much to Ed's surprise and excitement, Olivia returned home in time for a five o'clock cocktail on the roof. They brought Noah's paint, brushes, and large easel paper and claimed a loveseat in a partially shaded spot.

"Here ya go, sweet Noah," Olivia cooed as she propped the paper on its stand. "Whatcha going to paint?"

Noah looked around and finally pointed to the northeast, "I paint over dere."

"The buildings?"

"Uh-huh. It Ma'hattan still?"

"Yep. Still Manhattan."

It was hot, but a gentle breeze made the warm temperature bearable and allowed Olivia to snuggle against Ed without the two of them overheating.

"Looked like you had fun at the pier."

"We did. Not too many people either. Got any good leads on the case?"

"Carisi's still going over street cams. And most of the building surveillance in the area gets recycled every twenty-four hours, so, as of now, no. We don't have much at all."

"You'll get a break somewhere. Two vics at a time? Guy hadta screw up somewhere."

"Had to," Olivia agreed. "For now we're digging and we have extra patrols in what we think is his neighborhood of choice. Alerted bouncers, bartenders, cabbies…everybody really."

"Matter of time."

"I hope so."

"Liv?"

There was that tone of voice again—super sweet, innocent, pleading. She backed away a little so she could face him. "Ed, what's wrong?"

"Last night—"

"I didn't think anything was wrong with last night," Olivia purred in a sexy, flirtatious voice.

Ed grinned and blushed a little, "No, nah, you're right," he stammered, "Ah, it's just, when I ordered the food? I saw…well—"

Suddenly, the reason for Ed's behavior dawned on Olivia. "The surrogate site."

"Yeah."

Olivia took his hands and played with his fingers. "After…well…after we put the whole baby thing behind us, I thought it was resolved once and for all, but I couldn't stop thinking about it, about ways, maybe, to make it happen. I…" Olivia swallowed, nervous about revealing the next piece of information, "I had eggs frozen a few years ago. If we needed that. If we wanted to do that. I—"

"What are you sayin, Liv?"

"I'm saying I'm not ready to rule anything out. I thought I was. But I'm not. Not while there's a chance we could have a child together."

"Have you seen your doctor?"

She gave him a little smile, "No…I wouldn't do that and not tell you."

"You didn't tell me about having eggs frozen."

Olivia nodded. "No…I didn't…that was, I did that after I thought I was pregnant…when I was with Brian and I was so thrilled…that being pregnant was still a possibility…and I did it as sort of an insurance policy. I didn't exactly forget about it; I just never had to remember it. I'm sorry. I…should've mentioned it before."

Ed squeezed her hands, letting her know he wasn't angry. "When didja decide to research a surrogate?"

"Fin brought his grandson in the other day for a few minutes…and it clicked. His son used a surrogate…it seemed like, if we still wanted to explore this, that's the answer. To everything."

Ed blinked. Whenever he was flattered or overcome with emotion, he appeared childlike as his chiseled features softened and he pursed his lips expectantly.

"I don't know what to say," he whispered.

Olivia met his gaze. "You don't have to say anything right now."

Ed cocked his head. "You seem like you have your mind made up."

Olivia kissed his cheek. "It's not me. It's _us_." She kissed him again, this time on the lips, and then glanced at Noah. "How about…we take the rest of the fall, September and October, and just think about it. Pros and cons. Say what's on our minds when it's on our minds."

Ed started to smile, "I gotta admit, I'm glad it's back on the table."

"Me too." She ran her hands up and down his hefty forearms, "I'm sorry you had to see that site and feel like I left you in the dark."

"I coulda asked you last night…I think I was…a little bit shocked."

Olivia leaned forward for another kiss. "No more secrets," she promised. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied, "And, no matter what, you're an amazing mother and wife, Liv. You amaze me everyday."

Tears welled in her eyes and she tapped his chin, "There you go with those compliments again."

He smirked at her and played with a few loose strands of hair that had escaped the clip. "I told ya," he said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I'll never run out of 'em."

…..

 **Watch for a sequel!**

 **#Tuckson**


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